#'dude geralt of rivia is soooo cool he can like fight a bunch of guys with his sword'
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hanzajesthanza · 2 days ago
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the training montage in crossroads re-ignited a headcanon i had of geralt waking up and doing gymnastics, performing kickflips and mid-air spins around on a fencepost outside an hour before sunrise to ‘limber up,’ and bleary-eyed dandelion wrapping himself up in a blanket to be like "heyyy... what the hell are you doing 💖"
#if you're wondering what kind of moves he's doing he's standing on a fencepost and doing your typical flexibility stretches#but alternating between reps of stretches with kickflips from one post to the other#like ciri training in kaer morhen#i'm not going to lie witchers are cool but fandom ruined them a bit for me and now crossroads has given me that childlike wonder back#because fandom heard 'physical ability and stamina' and did you know what with it#but the agility and precision of witchers remain so underrated. as part of the deconstruction of the superhuman trope#geralt doesnt really show off as much in the books and does cool stuff only when needed but#like when (mentioned) he hit the rat in the darkness with his thrown fork... as a party trick#and killing renfri's men in the market at blaviken... and killing the scoia'tael on thanedd#and RUNNING ALONG THE BRIDGE on the battle of the bridge#and the nilfgaardians were amazed and they WERE AMAZED AS THEY DIED!!!!!!!!#and killing rience's mercenaries who didn't know who they were fighting so they were like hey what the fuck... what the fuck#i'm literally back to witcher 101 basics here. nothing interesting to contribute but like a little boy i am just smiling and saying#'dude geralt of rivia is soooo cool he can like fight a bunch of guys with his sword'#half of me wants to seek deeper themes and half of me is just like YOOO GERALT SO COOL !!#listen... there is a time to plant a time to reap#a time to analyze and a time to geek#i should probably just watch a bunch of ballet or best of gymnastics comps and i'll find what i'm looking for#also sorry CROSSROADS OF RAVENS SPOILERS artamon dying was a hilarious moment i know it was like oooh this will have consequences#but it was nice to have the evil antagonist get merked in the sme chapter as he's fucking introduced#and not even by mature experienced geralt but by some literal eighteen year-old who he tried pulling a fast one on#1) i was happy that sapkowski didn't drag it out terribly. this was humorous and refreshing after in season of storms#2) geralt almost riding off but having a feeling to go back... listen i know it's so cliche and it's giving lady of the lake chapter 4#where he eavesdrops in the caves under castle zubarran and just happens to hear stefan skellen reveal that vilgefortz was in castle stygga#but it also was satisfying to me because after reading the hussite trilogy#where reynevan (stupid and young man; like geralt here) DOES NOT LEARN after several. SEVERAL lessons#i was honestly worried for a second that we were going to get a reynevan moment. but no. because this is geralt and not reynevan#and seeing geralt develop critical thinking skills in real time was not only satisfying but a bit funny#and yes nostalgiabaiting me#like omggggg yesss his detective skills yesss that's so geralt of him
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