#'but you're a part of this world! aren't you?'

[webism]

Virgin!Nanami is hesitant the first time you go down on him, because as he's nearing his (blinding, world shattering) orgasm, you aren't pulling off of him.

He's played the scene a million times in his head before, late at night as he palmed his cock through his boxers and tried to will his mind away from such lewd thoughts of you. In every fantasy he had of you on your knees like you are now, you serve him with your mouth until he's close, and then pull off to stroke him through his orgasm.

But your lips are still wrapped around him. His ragged breath, the gentle buck of his hips up into your mouth... is it not indication enough that he's about to unravel? Kento has to lick his lips to try and save his dry mouth before he speaks, though it comes out as more of a broken moan. "Sweetheart, I'm... so close."

And you hum around his cock, send a vibration up his spine that has his eyes rolling back. You hollow out your cheeks and increase your pace, desperate for a taste.

It's too much, he's never felt so boneless. His vision is already going, he's right on the edge of the strongest orgasm he's had in his life when he gently tugs back on your hair. "Stop, stop."

Of course, you're off of him instantly, wiping your spit-sheened lips dry and watching Kento wide eyes. "Are you okay? Too much?"

Kento is breathless, his cresting orgasm quickly fading out of reach. "You didn't pull away. I was going to..."

"I know," you nod, a gentle hand on his knee something soothing. "What, you don't want to cum?"

He blinks. "No, I... not in your mouth. I respect you, and I don't want you to sacrifice your comfort for me."

And you can't help but grin at the serious look strewn across his face. You lean down and press a kiss to his knee, and then higher up on his thigh, and another just above the patch of hair that bases his leaky cock.

"Kento Nanami," you look up at him, and press a feather-light kiss to his tip. "If you don't cum in my mouth, I will cry. I wanna taste more of you."

Your words alone are enough to relight that fire licking at his insides. He watches you for a moment, tries to discern whether or not you're speaking only to please him, but ultimately nods.

When you take him back into your mouth, all the way down to the base, Kento swears he must've been a saint in his previous life to deserve such pleasure in this one. You trace the vein that runs under his length with your tongue, and then suck on his cock as if you're trying to milk him dry.

When he cums, it's with a loud and uncharacteristically whiney moan that makes you wonder how he sounds begging. You taste his cum on your tongue, feel as he shoots it into your mouth, his dick throbbing and balls tightening in the same regard.

He's already overstimulated, panicking a little at the new subtle pain of more, and although he thinks he likes it, you know it'll be too much for his first time. You pull off of him, careful to spill as little of his release as possible, and sit back on your heels.

And Kento is a mess, lips parted as he watches your pull into a greedy smile. He's eager to watch you spit him out, perhaps a testament to the fact he was inside of you. But you meet his eyes, let him sit on your tongue a moment longer, and then swallow.

He's hard all over again, he wonders how he'll ever lead a normal life again after a sight like that. His mouth is dry, cock still wet with your spit, heart beating near out of his chest.

Still, he manages to stop you when you move to get up and start on his aftercare. "Wait," his voice is small, he's nervous.

You raise your eyebrows, "yes, Ken?"

"I want to taste you, too."

hi @angxlsatvrn

[starless-nightz]

Hi!! Could you possibly write head cannons for Jinx x Fem!reader whose house is very cozy and very Maximalist? Like if you enter her house you're not leaving, either because you've managed to fall asleep or you're memorized by all the lights and decorations. This is silly but after Act 2 it's deserved I think.

Jinx with a fem! S/O thats has a very cozy and very maximalist house

note -> JINX MY LOVE AHHHHH, planning on writing a Jinx X fem! reader one-shot that would be dropping on saturday (aka on the release of act 3)

warnings -> none.

content includes -> fluff, silly, she loves your house.

The first time Jinx steps into your home, she’s absolutely stunned. It’s like stepping into another world—warm, inviting, and so full of life that it’s the exact opposite of what she’s used to.

Jinx absolutely loves your house, she loves how cozy and colorful is, its much more comfortable than her lair, she might even take some inspiration from you.

The lights are her favorite part, whether they’re fairy lights strung up everywhere or stained-glass lamps casting warm, colorful glows, Jinx is mesmerized.

She’ll spend a good ten minutes just lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling, giggling.

Jinx’s usual chaotic and messy energy is oddly calmed by your space, she doesn't know why but it just makes her feel so calm and at peace.

There’s something about the way it feels like a hug in house form that makes her slow down and just exist for a while.

Jinx is practically living with you at this point, spending most of her time in your home and coming back every single night.

You don’t mind it of course since you get to spend more time with your wonderful girlfriend, even giving her a spare key to your home so she can come in when you aren't there.

Since she started practically living with you Jinx would add her own touch to your home, there would be some doodles on the walls and lamps, but nothing that would ruin the cosy feeling.

Jinx thrives in your maximalist, cozy space, finding it to be the perfect antidote to her chaos and her hallucinations. Your home becomes the one place where she can truly let her guard down and just be.

[trainsinanime]

I've seen a number of people worried and concerned about this language on Ao3s current "agree to these terms of service" page. The short version is:

Don't worry. This isn't anything bad. Checking that box just means you forgive them for being US American.

Long version: This text makes perfect sense if you're familiar with the issues around GDPR and in particular the uncertainty about Privacy Shield and SCCs after Schrems II. But I suspect most people aren't, so let's get into it, with the caveat that this is a Eurocentric (and in particular EU centric) view of this.

The basic outline is that Europeans in the EU have a right to privacy under the EU's General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), an EU directive (let's simplify things and call it an EU law) that regulates how various entities, including companies and the government, may acquire, store and process data about you.

The list of what counts as data about you is enormous. It includes things like your name and birthday, but also your email address, your computers IP address, user names, whatever. If an advertiser could want it, it's on the list.

The general rule is that they can't, unless you give explicit permission, or it's for one of a number of enumerated reasons (not all of which are as clear as would be desirable, but that's another topic). You have a right to request a copy of the data, you have a right to force them to delete their data and so on. It's not quite on the level of constitutional rights, but it is a pretty big deal.

In contrast, the US, home of most of the world's internet companies, has no such right at a federal level. If someone has your data, it is fundamentally theirs. American police, FBI, CIA and so on also have far more rights to request your data than the ones in Europe.

So how can an American website provide services to persons in the EU? Well… Honestly, there's an argument to be made that they can't.

US websites can promise in their terms and conditions that they will keep your data as safe as a European site would. In fact, they have to, unless they start specifically excluding Europeans. The EU even provides Standard Contract Clauses (SCCs) that they can use for this.

However, e.g. Facebook's T&Cs can't bind the US government. Facebook can't promise that it'll keep your data as secure as it is in the EU even if they wanted to (which they absolutely don't), because the US government can get to it easily, and EU citizens can't even sue the US government over it.

Despite the importance that US companies have in Europe, this is not a theoretical concern at all. There have been two successive international agreements between the US and the EU about this, and both were struck down by the EU court as being in violation of EU law, in the Schrems I and Schrems II decisions (named after Max Schrems, an Austrian privacy activist who sued in both cases).

A third international agreement is currently being prepared, and in the meantime the previous agreement (known as "Privacy Shield") remains tentatively in place. The problem is that the US government does not want to offer EU citizens equivalent protection as they have under EU law; they don't even want to offer US citizens these protections. They just love spying on foreigners too much. The previous agreements tried to hide that under flowery language, but couldn't actually solve it. It's unclear and in my opinion unlikely that they'll manage to get a version that survives judicial review this time. Max Schrems is waiting.

So what is a site like Ao3 to do? They're arguably not part of the problem, Max Schrems keeps suing Meta, not the OTW, but they are subject to the rules because they process stuff like your email address.

Their solution is this checkbox. You agree that they can process your data even though they're in the US, and they can't guarantee you that the US government won't spy on you in ways that would be illegal for the government of e.g. Belgium. Is that legal under EU law? …probably as legal as fan fiction in general, I suppose, which is to say let's hope nobody sues to try and find out.

But what's important is that nothing changed, just the language. Ao3 has always stored your user name and email address on servers in the US, subject to whatever the FBI, CIA, NSA and FRA may want to do it. They're just making it more clear now.

[littlestpersimmon]

When Treebeard refuses to fight, he reasons- because no one fights for him. Merry shoots back "but you're part of this world! Aren't you?"

The shire burning down should have been a focal point in lord of the rings; though sadly it was not ever filmed. You have a settlement of hedonists who pride themselves, proclaim themselves of being removed from the world; But their world is a world that does not care about the complacency of the shire- it is a world that forces them to reckon with their apathy anyway.

I think about this a lot.

[kisakis-boyfriend]

🎃 please!

Celebrating the Halloween holiday with Poe and Atsushi (separately) by plowing into them? Imagine the variant of Halloween sex toys that could be used

Pairings: Atsushi, Edgar Allen Poe x male reader (separately)

Warnings: Male!reader, dom/top!reader, sub/bottom!characters, sex toys (fleshlight, butt plug, gag), edging, fingering (Poe)

Atsushi sat restlessly on the end of the bed, stark naked except for a little collar handpicked especially for him — it was appropriately adorned with an orange and black pumpkin pattern, for this special day.

His gaze remained fixated on the door, waiting for you to return. When you did, you carried in your arms a small box—the contents of which, Atsushi couldn't make out.

“Miss me? I brought some… special things to try out.” you explain, tracing your fingers along the open flaps of the box. All the while, your little tiger gulps, thinking back through the week and wondering if this is some punishment for breaking a rule.

But when your lips capture his in a gentle kiss, his shoulders relax; perhaps there's nothing to worry about after all.

You pull away, and swipe Atsushi's bottom lip with your thumb, smiling at his flushed cheeks. “Now, how about parting those pretty legs for me, sweetheart?”

He complies, albeit a bit shyly. “Aww, look at how excited he is already!” you chirp, running your index finger along the vein on the underside of Atsushi's dick. He turns his head to the side, whining at the way you tease him. “Let's try something a little different this time~”

Before Atsushi can say anything, you've already pulled something out of that box — a fleshlight… but… this one looks different…? After you're done pouring some lube on the entrance, Atsushi gets a good look at this "special" toy–

“What-?! Why does it look like… like that?!” he jolts before you can insert his dick into it. You tilt your head, and Atsushi gestures at the toy again. Ah, you get it now.

“Oh, this? It's supposed to be a vampire mouth—hence the fangs and… well, the whole thing being a mouth.” Atsushi cannot believe that such a toy even exists. Or why you paid money for one, for that matter!

You give him zero time to argue, sinking the toy down and burying his cock all the way to the base after a few shorter strokes to lube it up. The effect is instant — this "vampire mouth" has your partner almost falling backwards on the bed from how good it's sucking him in.

Atsushi swallows the lump in his throat, watching you control every instance of his pleasure as you move the toy however you please. Switching the pace up to constantly keep him on his toes, never letting the moment dull or drag on. As the toy works his tip and shaft, you pick up the slack by caressing his thighs, occasionally squeezing them, fondling his balls and massaging them, and teasing his ass just to watch his eyes widen for a split second.

You manage to edge him for some time, tugging on his cute collar to remind him of who's in charge. The thought of not being your good boy is enough to give Atsushi the strength to hold his orgasm back… for now.

“Don't look so sad, love. Doesn't this feel nice?” the loud squelching sounds as the fleshlight swallows every inch of Atsushi's dick fill the room, and your little tiger boy feels so flustered listening to them during every pause in the conversation.

“It does! I mean… I-I… gnngh-!!” Atsushi sucks in through his teeth, squeezing his eyes tightly when you switch to slow, deep strokes—plunging his cock fully inside to be massaged by the toy's squishy walls.

At his limit, Atsushi bargains with his adoring partner; “Aren't I your good boy? Don't you… mmph! aAaHH-! D-don't you want to see me f-finish?” his words are so carefully chosen, it's hard not to applaud him for his smarts.

“Hmm~ You're so right, lovely, I do. Won't you cum for me? Be my bestest boy in the whole world, and thrust those pretty hips into this toy for me?”

Atsushi exclaims over and over again, using your permission to wildly fuck the toy still in your hands. His thrusts are so powerful that you nearly drop the toy once—but you manage to keep your grip, and soon you watch your pretty boy bury his cock, filling it with creamy cum.

You let him linger for a bit, allowing Atsushi a minute to recover, then slide the toy off of his cock — using your mouth to lick his pretty dick clean while he leans back on his hands, breathing heavily.

“Th-thank you… for allowing me to… c-cum…” he whispers the last word shyly. How adorable; your obedient pet still acts like a simple virgin sometimes.

He will admit, this whole scene is quite romantic; candles sat atop the furniture and filled the space with the scent of pumpkins, cinnamon, and cloves. The window was cracked slightly to let in the cool, autumn breeze and make the candlelight sway to its rhythm. All of this was set up especially for him too.

“I know this is kind of sudden, but I just… really wanted to spoil you today, my love.” you whisper, wrapping your arms around him to hug him from behind.

Poe sinks into the hug, unsure of what to even say as he takes in the atmosphere a little longer. A startled gasp falls from his lips as you unbutton a few buttons on his shirt and slide it off of one shoulder. “Now, let's get you undressed and onto that table, hm?”

This isn't the first time you've seen his body, but Poe can't help feeling shy as his entire being is laid bare before you. Even after you sensually undress him, everything feels so exposed and raw now that he's lying on his stomach — your partner can sense your lingering gaze on his rear… and it's a bit embarrassing.

“My, my, you're so tense…” you comment, running your warm hands up and down Poe's back and shoulders — gently squeezing his muscles and finding knots in several places. “You work too hard sometimes, do I need to come find you and whisk you away for a break myself?”

It's hard for Poe to think about your question when the unfamiliar sensation of massage oil touches his back. The substance absorbs into his skin with ease, and once it reaches his shoulders, the scent truly hits him; some sort of autumnal blend, evoking the memories of sitting by a fireplace and sipping hot cider.

“How's this feel?” you ask, pressing your thumbs into the knots in Poe's shoulders, circling your thumbs as you work his tissue and muscles into a less tense state. In return, all you get are groans of approval as your lover melts into the massage table.

When you slide the towel that was once covering his lower body away, Poe tenses right back up, and you have to ease him back into a state of relaxation. He whines, but ultimately allows you to continue after you kiss the top of his head, then move down to his legs and lower back.

“Relax—I can't neglect any part of your body if I'm supposed to be spoiling you, now can I?” Firmly applying pressure in all the right places, your massage continues. Your lover is all relaxed again until your fingers slide a little too far upwards, to a place that makes him flush red.

Poe squirms as you begin rubbing his entrance, teasing the poor thing without mercy. “I should have kn-known that you were up to something…” Poe laments. “Mm~ Oo-ooohh~”

“Edgar, if you don't want the neighbors to hear you, you'd best reign yourself in.” you tease.

“H-how can I when you're– gaAaAH–!!” His voice cracks as you finally slip a finger inside, sending a wave of tingles all down his spine.

“Perhaps this will help?” you say, dangling a cute new ball gag off of one finger — the plastic in the center is orange and designed to resemble a pumpkin, fitting for the season!

Poe arches his back in time with a curl of your fingers, and his head lifts up just enough to catch a glimpse of the item in question. “Wh-where did you… get that…?”

“I know a place~ Now open wide, pumpkin~ ” you fasten the gag around your partner's head, then return to fucking his pretty hole just with your fingers. It's easy to make him lose his mind — all you have to do is find his prostate and bully it while denying Poe his orgasm~

Adorable whimpers fall from your lover's lips like a symphony, and his hands grasp at the table he's lying on while you mess his insides up. But, that doesn't last much longer, since you bring Poe right to the cusp of his climax and then pull your fingers out without warning.

Muffled cries and protests are thrown at you, all of which are ignored as you pull out yet another toy—a small butt plug with an orange gem on the end, and a little green stem to make it a pumpkin—and push it into his aching hole.

“I'm so sorry, sweetheart, but I wasn't done with your massage yet–” you coo, raking your fingers through his curly hair. “Now, flip over for me and I'll message the rest of you. I promised not to neglect any part, did I not~?”

[cicadabooks]

aaaaa finally i feel justified for reluctantly finishing the first Monk and Robot book with a :/ face, and then feeling even more :/ :/ :/ about reading the 2nd book. Which I did not read, and it looks like this was the correct choice, for me.

"Underbaked" is a decent summary of the first book - people (....often white people I feel like....) would recommend the book and how they loved it, and when I finally read it, I was just like.... This author is over-reaching and floundering around in areas she doesn't know much about. (And also this book felt very White Person writing world building to me.) Even the final pep talk by Mosscap rubbed me the wrong way. It was obvs just Not the Book For Me. (Also winning a Hugo.... It's not the worst book, but...? I think people are being bamboozled a bit.)

I remember the author's approach to nature was weird. I remember thinking "people live in nature, we're part of nature, and to just have the two drastically split is disturbing. Also I don't think this author has ever actually walked through the woods, or at least not more than three times."

OP's line above ("The Robot Side is kept wild and humans are discouraged from going in there because humans can't be trusted not to ruin Nature.") is making me specifically remember what I didn't like. :( wtf. Are indigenous people and their land stewardship a joke to you. Where were you when the Dakota Access Pipeline protests were happening last decade. That was a large amount of news. At this point, this is a you problem, Becky Chambers.

Also shoutout to "also tbh I think Becky chambers has also just never gone fishing in her life and was not curious enough about her own concept to research how you're supposed to kill a fish" in the comments section from OP -

Because, as I mentioned earlier, I had the same reaction even in book one!? About doubting if the author actually spent time in nature, or considered nature a lot, or knew much about nature (for a book that... spends time in nature...). Neither the first book's vibes, or this wretched fish thing, are the vibes of people I know who spend time in the wild (as a hobby or professionally).

(Also, I think those people I know, and me, and many other humans, would be miserable being cut off from wild nature. Some things are just in the blood. I was always yearning for the ocean growing up, and I swear it was handed down to me by blood from my mother who grew up on an island. When I finally lived in a place near the ocean and got to be in ocean waters a lot more, I was like YES I AM HOME and happy in my bones. Every time I get too sad it's because I have spent too much time away from ocean and some proper wilderness.)

(and we're not even getting into how much human culture, esp indigenous cultures, have cultural transmissions tied in with nature.)

(Like I know OP's essay was more examining passivity and the implications at large in these books.... Whereas looking back, I think I got stuck on "Humans aren't allowed to go into nature" in book one and I was horrified by this and I never got past this part. This book was a dystopia for me.)

Anyway OP thank you for summarizing the 2nd book, yikes and also that was fun to read.

Also this is all ironic/sad because I actually liked the author's first book! When I read it years ago. (A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet) It was fun! I love me a motley crew of people in space ships becoming friends and having adventures. I had issues with the handling of sex/gender stuff, but at the time I gave it a pass. The rest of the books in that series didn't stand out to me, but I picked up whatever the author wrote anyway. I was disappointed when I picked up these monk robot books more recently. We're not even having, like... having that much fun here :( There's apparently fish dying in bizarre ways.

ykw i am having so much fan watching you be a hater, that i’ve decided to ask for more. PLEASE give us a rant about a book you hated.

Haha aw I'm honored. And uh I hope you don't have any particular attachment to Becky Chambers. Sorry in advance.

But A Psalm for the Wild-Built won a Hugo and I do not get the love. Book 1 was nice enough, yeah. Book 2 had me tearing my hair out.

Sibling Dex is a restless Tea Monk who serves the God of Small comforts on the science-fantasy planet of Panga. I genuinely love the idea of a tea monk - part therapist, part confessor, travels around to the different towns, mixes tea blends for people, lets them talk about their worries and fears and stresses, and gives them, if not advice, then sympathy and a listening ear and some calming tea. This is meaningful work but they're unhappy. After doing this for a while they're still unsatisfied with their life, so they go into the woods searching for self-actualization, and meet a robot named Mosscap, a wild robot that lives in the woods. See, hundreds of years ago, all the robots "woke up" and became sentient one day, then they staged a quiet rebellion against humanity's greed and industrialization by walking into the woods and never coming back. Now, the continent is split in half: humans stay on the Human Side, and robots stay on the Robot Side. The Robot Side is kept wild and humans are discouraged from going in there because humans can't be trusted not to ruin Nature. The rpbots are welcome to come to the Human Side, they just never have. Dex is the first person in a While to venture into the woods of the Robot Side, and the first human since the great walkout to see a robot. Mosscap gives Dex a lot of philosophical pep talks about not pushing themself so hard, about allowing themself to just rest and appreciate the world without feeling like they need to be Providing A Service to justify their existence. It's a nice theme. Underbaked, imo, but nice. Relateable.

Book 2 was a goddamn mess.

Book 1 mostly takes place in the wilderness of the woods, so it's okay if the nice utopian human community Dex comes from was sketchily-built. It Just Works, and everyone Is Just Nice, this is a science-fantasy parable. There were some issues I had with it - like the strict ideological and physical divide between Nature and Humans, and the fact that Dex's religion seems to be the Only Religion In The World, and it's vaguely secular-humanist with the gods being not "really" gods but names given to primordial forces and philosophical concepts, and the religion not really making any demands of its adherents in any way except to become their best selves and devote themselves to what they like... it's potentially interesting, but overall kinda lazy. It felt like Becky Chambers was aware of the idea that having an enlightened-atheist sci-fi utopia is Problematic, so she made there be a central religion, but she also didn't want it to have any of the ~icky~ things religions have, like belief in anything supernatural, or dietary restrictions, or creeds, or codes of behavior, or expectations to make any kind of sacrifice in any way. All the gods "ask" is that humans observe and appreciate the world. But whatever.

In book 2, Dex and Mosscap return to Dex's society, and the book seems to want to explain how the world works, and oh my GOD is Chambers not prepared to do this.

"Observe and appreciate" is all anyone is asked to do. Book 2, A Prayer for the Crown-Shy, is an ode to ultimate virtue of Doing Nothing. There's this attitude I see in a LOT of utopian fiction, where the author is bluntly just not a good enough author to imagine a utopian society where people act like people, so in the world of Panga, utopian society is achieved through 1) homogeneity 2) no one giving a crap about anything.

As far as I can tell, there is the one religion. Most people are Fine with this. Most people are Fine with anything. There are no characters with distinct personalities. There's no money, except there is, except it's not real money and no one will deny you anything if your balance is in the red, even though your balance is available to be seen by anyone - this does not cause any kind of shame or pride or competition in any way, and Dex doesn't understand why it might. There are no hierarchies or governing bodies, people just volunteer to step up when things need doing (this is portrayed as great and not deeply concerning). There are different communities, but in them, everyone is uniformly nice, friendly, and helpful at all times. There are some parts of nature, like the seashore, where people are not allowed to go because they'll ruin the environment, and this is accepted as correct and necessary. Most people live in hippie, pro-recycling, high-tech, end-of-history green communities; there's one group they visit, however, that doesn't trust technology, and lives in a vaguely sci-fi-Amish way. You might think, Dex travelling around with a robot, this might cause conflict! It does not. The people from this community calmly explain their anti-technology position, Dex calmly explains their pro-technology position, and they politely respect each other. "Not bothered either way" is a phrase that turns up in various permutations a lot and is held up as the good, mature, responsible way to be.

There's a scene where they catch a fish for dinner, and instead of killing it, the scifi-Amish guy says "We let the air do that for us, and they let the fish slowly suffocate to death in the air while they all look on solemnly and sadly. This is portrayed as a deep, beautiful moment of them witnessing and honoring the final moments of a living being's life. And not. y'know. them torturing a living being to death so they can keep their own hands clean.

This is what I mean about the valorization of passivity: observing is all you are ever obligated to do. Letting a fish die in the air is better than killing it quickly and humanely, because doing things gets your hands dirty, while letting things simply happen is the Correct way to do it.

At the end, Mosscap and Dex blow off all their promises and appointments and just hang out at the beach chilling out instead, because do what you want forever, you don't have to do shit. This is the happy affirming ending. Mosscap you fucking said you'd meet with the city leaders as the robot ambassador to the humans, did you tell them you were blowing off this commitment because you didn't feel like doing that anymore??? Did you even let them know??????

It is SUCH a baffling book. The theme wants to be "you are more than your job, you deserve to just Be" and ends up feeling like "you don't have to do anything ever, and no one can make you do anything you don't want to do if you don't feel like it, and you don't owe anyone anything and searching for a purpose in your life is just making you stressed out so chill at the beach instead."

The thing that drives me crazy is like. Mosscap cheerfully tells Dex about robots that spend twenty years in a cave watching stalactites form because they think it's beautiful, and those robots are just as much a valued part of society as anyone else. Appreciating beauty and wonder is good enough, you don't need to be productive. And I'm just. fuckin. like. Humans are not robots! Robots don't need to eat or sleep! Humans need food, and clothes, and shelter, and medical care, and if we don't have SOMEONE working to provide that, we Die! Nice as it would be, we CAN'T just all do nothing forever until we feel like it! We can't do that!

And at the same time, the book bizarrely treats wanting a purpose in life as like... almost disordered. If you are seeking a purpose in life it's because you just haven't let go of your guilt and relaxed enough. It's bizarre. Valorization of passivity. Humans aren't meant to be in nature so we just Shouldn't. Doing nothing and having no strong opinions is the most self-affirmed you can possibly be. Letting a fish suffocate is more moral than quickly breaking its neck or spiking its brain. Someone else will do it. Who, if we're all supposed to be resting and only doing what we feel like? Don't worry about it.

"The heart of this book is comfort [...] There is nothing in it that can hurt you." YOU LIAR BECKY CHAMBERS THE FISH SCENE STILL DISTURBS AND UPSETS ME TO THIS DAY

[vaguely-concerned]

on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.

all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)

in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.

[everyonewooeverywhere]

MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED

CASUAL DOMINANCE WITH YUNHO : SLEEPING

pairing ✭ dom!yunho x gn!reader

content ✭ no smut. and honestly less of a dom/sub dynamic in this one, but it's just the same yunho.

part 1 | part 2

notes ✭ we're back with my fav~, this one is very little but i thought it was a cute addition

he won't admit it to you, but yunho really can't sleep without you by his side. when he goes on tour or you leave on trips with your friends, he usually tosses and turns for several hours before closing his eyes for about two hours without any restful sleep. he's pretty embarrassed by it because he takes a lot of pride in the ways he takes care of you. and that make it hard for him to allow himself to admit that he needs to be taken care of sometimes too.

will always wait until you fall asleep to let himself relax. if your feeling the need for extra contact, he will always let you lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat to put yourself to sleep. he'll usually play with your hair too, scratching your scalp lightly because he knows that helps relax you. and only when he knows for sure that your sleeping will he let himself fall asleep. and if it's a low contact night (you're feeling hot or just aren't up for a fully eight hours of contact) he'll lay next to you in bed, probably at least holding your hand, and watch you settle yourself into the pillow and slowly drift off. and only then will he kiss you on the forehead and close his eyes next to you.

naps are a bit of a different ballpark, though. napping with yunho is more like laying on his lap and drifting off to sleep while he's busy doing something else. sometimes you'll walk into his room excited to slip into his bed and take a nap, but before you can even reach the bed he's calling you over to his desk, "sit with me, baby." you don't question it, just grabbing a blanket off the bed and slipping onto his lap. he'll continue to play games or work while you sit there. and he's always conscious and gentle enough to not wake you. or if he's lounging on the couch, he usually expects you to lay down on his thighs so he'll play with your hair to put you to sleep.

general taglist: @swimmingkpopblog @oddracha @drinkingrumandcocacola @minaateez @funnyvxlentine

@sunnysidesins @skzdust @princelingperfect

ateez taglist: @certifiedmoa @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @curiousgworge @hyukssunflower @hotteokisms

@sushiinmidnight @atiny-dime-p1ece @mismatchfluffysocks @vic0921 @vampzity

@breadpuddingboys @woolysium @desirehorizon @im-ovulation @pommelex

@dancingwithdeities @maidens-world @jycas @kirbrary @aftertherain-atr

@staytinyinmybpack @m4n4-s4m4 @jjcanwrite @yvnhoos @uninterested-ghost

@yizhou-time @shinyj3lly @kyeos4ng @prettygirlslietoo @miriamxsworld

@tiny2018 @ttdogsworld @kejingken @fandom-freak-geek @painted-hills

@minkioswoo

[historyinclusionist]

Harmless Personal Identity coining

Since the term I crafted has been picking up steam in a couple places, I decided it's time to make a official post for it and propose a flag. I'm not good at making flags and you're welcome to redesign the above one if you like this term.

Harmless Personal Identity (HPI) is an umbrella term meant to describe personal identities that people might assign to themselves, coin for others, make pride flags for, and so on, but not any identities that inherently cause harm. If an identity checks the following boxes, it can be called a Harmless Personal Identity.

Harmless: It doesn't encourage predatory behavior, racism, ableism, transphobia etc just by existing.

The identity is being labeled because it makes the person using it comfortable. Not to harm others by deceiving them. For example: LGBT people and systems are not intending to deceive others and simply want to live as they are. This doesn't mean that the term in question is completely free of criticism or couldn't be used in bad faith—I think every term that's ever been coined could be used in bad faith. This means that it may be unusual or strange, especially to people who aren't familiar with the social groups/contexts the term was coined in, but the definition doesn't encourage people to appropriate culture, speak over people of color, commit inc-st/p-dophilia/z-ophilia, or otherwise cause harm to themselves or another living being as part of that identity.

Example: "Transhawaiian" is not an HPI, because by virtue of it existing the coiner and anyone who uses this term are saying that "Hawaiian" is a feeling someone can decide they feel and apply to themself at will, instead of the racial minority that "Hawaiian" actually is.

Personal: Identities which are wholly self-determined and locatable only within that person's interaction with and relations to the world around them.

In general—Other people cannot determine your internal view of yourself because they cannot be you, therefore your identity is personal! Someone who's unfamiliar with xenogenders may tell me that I cannot be -insert gender- because -thing- isn't a gender, but my gender is inside me and I cannot possibly give them the ability to feel it for me. It is located only within me.

This includes labels that get called "contradictory", like identifying as a lesbian and a man at the same time. If you're not familiar with multigender and multisexual lesbian spaces that might sound strange, but gender+presentation and orientation labels are purely self-defined—they are the coiner/anyone who uses that term saying "this is how I would describe my attraction to -insert gender here-," "this is how I would describe my gender that only I can feel inside my head and can't physically show to someone else," and so on. A bisexual lesbian's identity is not saying that all lesbians are bisexual or that they should identify that way; It is saying that that individual determined themself to be bisexual and lesbian.

(This does not extend to, again, racism and cultural appropriation. Queer labels are a self-defined thing, whereas racial and ethnic identity and things like congenital disorders can have self-defined aspects but are largely on a completely different quadrant of identity and can't be "decided" in the same way that queer labels can.)

Identity: A self-applied label or understanding of yourself.

This one is straightforward mostly. I would like to note that this does include things like reclaimed slurs and derogatory words, since in those cases, it's that person who's been called that word choosing "you know what? I AM a -slur- and I love myself for it!" instead of it being used to put them down.

Ok, so what identities specifically?

MOGAI (xenogenders, neogenders, neo/newly coined orientations, presentation terms, neopronouns+etc)

Alterhuman (the entire alterhuman umbrella, excluding any culturally appropriative behavior)

Most plural culture/coined terms for plural experiences

Other identity umbrellas (Dissomei, desirdae, reclaimed xenoidentities, xenonatures, neurowiry,+etc)

And so on. Is it not a radqueer, transrace, transx, etc term or would you call it a "good faith identity"? It most likely fits here.

This also includes a category of personal identity I've been seeing more and more lately, which are these uncategorized identifications with specific words that have pride flags. Some examples: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Ok, cool, do I identify as this?

You would say "I use harmless personal identities"/"I support harmless personal identities"/I coin harmless personal identities"+etc. This is less an identity and more of a faster way to describe these identities.

TD;LR— Identities that are probably niche, but don't harm people like radqueer/transid/transrace/transabled do.

Tagging: @gender-jargon | @neopronouns | @radiomogai | @kiruliom | @aspectsofidentity | @beyond-mogai-pride-flags | @neopronouns | @antiradqueerguy

Alt flags and more things are beneath the cut:

Two alternative flag ideas which I abandoned, but you can use if you want.

The phrasing "locatable only within your interaction with and relations to the world around you" came from a Tumblr post by txttletale (lost link). This term and the author have no affiliation with them, I just thought it was a wonderful way to phrase this concept. This would later inspire me to coin the term History Inclusionist, which then led to me sort of backwards-coining HPI to describe it.

You don't have to be a History Inclusionist to use the term HPI and I won't tell you not to interact with me if you aren't one.

I might make subset flags later. Maybe?

[11/21/2024] I forgot to add that @kiruliom helped me adjust the flag colors. Thank you.

[keferon]

I’m done. Full story below:D

Tw descriptions of blood and gore

"Be careful with that mech. Don't let it kill you."

First Aid frowns

"I thought pilots were supposed to do the killing, not mechs. Judge not the spear, but the man who threw it, and all that."

Ambulon laughs as he adjusts his cap and claps his hands together nervously

"You're new here, aren't you? I kept thinking someone else would tell you..."

He puts his hands in his pockets.

"...We think this mech is possessed. The superiors don't approve of that kind of talk, and there's no way I can explain it to you scientifically. The engineering department has been trying to find an explanation for a long time, but... uh..."

First Aid leans forward curiously. He had always been interested in gossip, no matter how realistic it sounded.

"But?"

Ambulon sighs

"A long time ago, before you, there was a pilot working here…Vortex. Medics say he was brought into the program as a child and raised as a soldier. Crazy psycho, the whole department hated him."

….

"But he was good at what he did, you know. One of the best. Hated his superiors and seemingly everything alive, but on the battlefield he was unmatched."

Ambulon hesitates and looks away.

"He died. I'm not sure why, but it wasn't pretty. The cockpit took a long time to clean up, everything was covered in blood and...well..."

First Aid waits patiently.

"...since then, his Mech has had over a hundred pilots."

That's...a hell of a lot even by the standards of the mecha program....

"We don't know why. Anyone who gets in that cockpit has to be pulled out piece by piece. It's like the machine is avenging the death of its pilot."

Ambulon shrugged uncomfortably

"What I'm trying to say is, be careful. Don't touch the controls, don't get in the seat. And don't even think about turning it on. Any part of it. If it's dark inside, bring a flashlight."

First Aid feels the skepticism rising in his mind

"You sound very superstitious..."

Ambulon puts his hands on First Aid’s shoulders.

"Last week one of ours was doing some cleaning in there and turned on the electricity in the cockpit to use the ventilation system. The damn thing slammed shut on its own, jamming his leg into the windshield. He just turned on the ventilation! Please, First Aid. Promise me you won't touch anything."

That still sounds like something out of the mysticism category. Or a technical malfunction. One idiot who didn't figure out the buttons and paid for it.

First Aid bends over for a bucket and brushes. He unfortunately doesn't have all the time in the world to listen to creepy stories.

"Okay, I heard you. Don't touch anything, don't turn anything on. But I still think you're superstitious."

Ambulon sighs in relief.

"You'll see. You'll see for yourself and you'll know what I mean."

"I don't think so."

_____—————_____

First Aid sees.

First Aid looks.

And the more he looks, the more he realizes.

It's brown bloodstains. But not the ones First Aid was just sent to clean up. No.

These are old, really old stains. In the seams between the metal plates, in the narrow gaps between the components, in the ventilation grill and inside the hinges. All places that are very hard to reach with a brush and cleaner.

There was blood in this cockpit, then it was cleaned up, but not all of it. They left some in the crevices and tight corners, figuring it was enough to keep it looking decent.

Then it happened again.

Dozens and dozens of times.

Enough so that the disgusting dark layers had to be chipped off rather than washed away.

First Aid runs his finger along the bottom, hard-to-reach side of the console. A disgusting stain remains on his glove. He wonders what kind of death you had to die for your remains to leave stains THAT far inside the cockpit.

There are scratches everywhere from hard brushes and ugly pale stains from using strong cleaners.

It smells like death and solvent in here.

The cockpit of this mech resembles a morgue.

The edge of the retractable visor has barely visible brown streaks just about on level with where each person would be required to pass if they were to enter the cockpit. If you squint, you can see that the stripes are layered on top of each other, some older than others.

This mechanism is not just faulty.

This mechanism destroys its pilots often enough for it to imprint on it's surface. How many people have been killed when that shell was slaming shut, slicing their spines in half? Based on the color of the stains First Aid can guess at least five.

There are a lot of ugly scratches around the emergency eject button. There's also a paper stamped nearby that says the mechanism has passed all the necessary safety tests and inspections. So at least within the test sites it works perfectly….. but every pilot sitting here seems to be desperately struggling..

First Aid suddenly feels a rush of exploratory interest and climbs down to check out the emergency release mechanism. On mechs whose pilots have ejected, this mechanism always gets exposed to the outside environment and inevitably has to be cleaned of soot, dirt, or alien remains.

Considering how dirty this mech is, the hinges there must be caked in filth.

He carefully pulls aside the panel and shines the flashlight inside and

The ejection mechanism is covered in dust.

But that can't be right! No pilot is good enough to always finish a mission intact. Especially when you consider how many pilots have gone through that mech! He doesn't know for sure, but he'd bet half of them were fresh out of the academy...

The flashlight in his hand begins to shake faintly as the realization comes to him.

Perfectly passed safety tests.

An ugly smashed and scratched emergency eject button.

And the mechanism that hasn't moved once since it was confirmed to be perfectly functional.

A metal monster chewing through its pilots one by one.

First Aid puts the panel back in place with unsteady hands and looks around the cockpit, suddenly keenly aware of being watched, even though the power is off and the cameras are physically inoperable.

And yet…

"What the hell…..”

_____________________

When months later, First Aid holds the order for his enlistment into the pilot staff, the first thing he thinks about is that fucking button.

When they take his measurements, give him a new suit and explain safety procedures. When they pat him sympathetically on the shoulder and wish him luck. When everyone he knows acts like they're seeing him go on his last ride.

He sits in the pilot's seat and he feels his blood run cold. He folds his hands in his lap so he won't be tempted by the buttons and screens. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply.

This is the first time he's come into an already pre-cleaned cockpit, but he knows it's an illusion. He knows where to look, he's examined every seam and hinge a hundred times. No matter how clean these walls are. There's nothing in this little bubble of darkness that hasn't been touched by death.

He opens his eyes and involuntarily looks at the button again.

A broken piece of fingernail is sticking out from under it.

He pulls it out, tucks it into his pocket, and folds his hands in his lap again.

There's a smell of death and cleaner all around.

He knows the monster must be hungry.

Imma just put the link to the little mecha Texaid thread I’m writing realquick:)

[drdemonprince]

thanks for saying what you have about covert incest. I have this memory of my dad that I won't even type out cuz it's just horrible and I haven't been able to determine if it actually happened or if it's a memory of a dream I had but part of me thinks the former cuz I don't think I could've imagined something so horrible. and he died recently and I was determined to find some kind of physical evidence that it really happened but when my mom was moving she got rid of most of his stuff before I got there and I've been so pissed about it but not able to tell her or anyone why and it just reinforces my upset toward her cuz if it really happened then she didn't protect me and goes out of her way to protect him instead but in reading your posts I'm starting to think that whether it actually happened or not doesn't matter, the feelings are there and they're real and I ought to just treat it as though it really happened. anyway sorry to be vague, this has just been a huge weight on me and I feel like finding your blog on here has been such a blessing, especially cuz this has been weighing on me even more lately cuz I've been identifying as a butch lesbian for awhile but have been wondering if I'm actually a bi trans man and have been wanting to explore sexual experiences with queer men to find out if I'd enjoy it but have been really cautious about it and haven't really tried anything yet cuz I'm scared of what it might bring up in me and I'm autistic too so the whole dating and hookup thing is scary to me even without this memory shit and idk if queer men would be interested in me anyway. but yeah I'm gonna explore those resources you shared when I'm ready and I just wanted you to know you're making a difference even through sharing your experiences on your tumblr blog. and also just wanted to confess all this to somebody so thank you for that too

<3 thanks Anon.

Your feelings and traumatized reactions are real, and your vague sense of a memory almost certainly signals that Something was not Right in the dynamic with your father, and you can stand by that and care for yourself as someone whose boundaries have been trammeled upon even if you never get to know the exact facts of what happened. So much of childhood disappears down the memory hole, and there is no easy accounting for it, but as a therapist once wisely said to me, if a person has a fracture that's consistent with a violent attack, you can often see the effects and care for them even if you can't know exactly what happened there.

I'm glad you're feeling open to the idea of exploring your own sexuality and gender identity, too. There are absolutely queer men, both trans and cis, who will be interested in you, and you can move at the pace that works for you. Remember there are no rules to queer sexuality, that's the whole point -- so you never have to try anything you don't want to do. You can have a rich, fulfilling sex life with men that never involves PIV, if you aren't interested in that, or that is completely dependent upon a kink dynamic that isn't directly sexual. or you can just put yourself on the grindr grid and find some guy who wants to give you a massage or eat you out all day. There's so many kinds of very eager people out there, and so you can be as selective and as firm in your boundaries and vetting as you need to be! There's every kind of person out there. I have some guy in my Fetlife DMs right now who only wants to shave my body; another who only wants to jerk off while watching me smell leather. The world is abundant with funny little opportunities.

[noperopesaredope]

I've Finally Figured Out Why Curly's Skin-Thing Frustrates Me

I was talking to someone earlier about how people sometimes refer to Curly as "corpse-like" and why that might be offensive to burn victims, and I was trying to explain why some people might think that way. I think after that conversation, I was finally able to articulate what frustrated me about Curly's burn situation. He doesn't look like he actually has burn scars.

Here are some real life 3rd degree burn scars (sorry if some of them have a before and after photo, they were the best I could get):

Here's also a diagram of burn severity just as extra stuff:

They appear very different from Curly's scars. They are more...wrinkly doesn't seem like the right word? They do not seem to have straight lines that flow in a specific pattern, and are more vein-like than anything. A lot of them also have a more regular skin tone. Whether pink or not, they are not the shade of deep crimson red that Curly's are. They overall look completely different in many ways. One might argue that different types of burns and different degrees cause different scarring, and I agree with that. In fact, having looked into burn scarring a bit more, I believe that Curly's scars may be 4th degree or higher, as it went past the skin.

Let's look at a few:

I have found an example of a real world burn survivor with some similarities to Curly:

(Honestly really liked this video, especially since it taught me a bit more about burn survivors when I first watched it a few years ago)

He, like Curly, had a disfigured mouth and eyes and whatnot. It shows that some of Curly's injuries are realistic, such as his mouth and probably his eyelid. However, his burns still look very different. All of them look much more similar to each other than they do to Curly.

In general, I have not yet found an example of burn scarring that looks similar to IRL scarring. I believe that's one aspect of this, but there is a second, bigger part. The big issue here isn't just that Curly doesn't look like he has burn scars, but that he does look similar to one of those medical textbook muscle diagrams.

His burns are a lot more fleshy and have a certain pattern to them that regular burns (even the most severe ones) don't. They follow lines across the body and take on a certain shape, whereas usually burn scars aren't quite like that. In face, the look a lot like the actual muscle structure:

(The bandages looking a bit like bones certainly doesn't help with that)

On top of it all (and this has always drove me insane), he is specifically described as having no skin. Even the most severe burn survivors have something. They have skin, or at least some sort of layer between the muscles and the outside.

According to all my research (and trust me, I tried), it is physically impossible to live without skin. You will die.

To me, Curly doesn't appear to have actual burn scars or even look like he was burned. Hell, before I knew anything about the game, I never would have guessed he had been burned. Instead, he looks more like his skin was peeled off, not burnt off.

A metaphor I used while talking to the other person is that Curly is like seeing a character who supposedly broke their spine, but then you learn that their entire spine actually disintegrated into nothing and they have literally no spinal cord. And you're like "wtf how is this bitch still alive" because you can live with a damaged spine but you cannot live with zero spine at all.

People don't think of him as a burn victim because there are no burn scars. In fact, I often forget he's a burn victim because he doesn't appear to have any actual burn wounds. Like, all his wounds don't look like burns of any kind. They look more like those medical textbooks. Thus, people see him as "corpse-like" because no living person with burn scars looks like him (at least, not that I can find). Because he literally looks more like a diagram of muscle structure than he does a burn victim. His design is unrealistic in a way that make people horrified.

He literally, in every possible way has no skin.

And that is why so many people are freaked out by him.

[blitzsicedcoffee]

Stolitz Incorrect Quotes:

(cause the Stolitz brainrot never ends)

Blitz: Stolas!!!

Stolas: yes my dear?

Blitz: bring me toilet paper?

Stolas: you aren't going to use it as a rope and escape out the bathroom again are you?

Blitz:......no I have diarrhea.

Stolas: I told you that you're lactose intolerant!

Blitz: hey! I'm the least intolerant person you know!

Stolas: -_-

---------------

Stolas: So what kind of books would you want to read?

Blitz: Uhhhh the ones with the world in it?

Stolas: the Atlas?

Blitz: Bingo!

Stolas: like, the earth Atlas? Or Hell Atlas?

Blitz: Who's Atlas? Is that your dog? My dog is bingo.

Stolas: *facepalms* where did you get a dog!!!

--------------------

Blitz: One day I'm gonna marry you.

Stolas: Oh! Blitzy that would be amazing....

Blitz: *slides ring pop onto his finger and clinks his with Stolas's* and til the hellfires undo our souls, I do.

Stolas: Uhhh....I do?

Blitz: The blood pact is done.

Stolas: The...wait what??

----------------------

Blitz: Stolas look I taught my owl a trick! Peck!

Earth owl: *pecks the wall*

Stolas: *rolls eyes* yes, it's very smart.

Blitz: Pff bet you can't even peck.

Stolas: I! Oooh *chases him and the owl flies with him*

---------------------

Blitz: Aaaaand done! Finally. My tower of hot sauces is complete. That's one thing off my bucket list!

Stolas: What's next?

Blitz: The tallest tower of cheese!!

Stolas: of course. Why do I ask?

-----------------------

Stolas: Ugh this is completely unrealistic! Andre can't possibly think I'm going to give him time with the Grimoire as part of the divorce deal.

Blitz: just replace it with a fake.

Stolas: What?! But-

Blitz: Can he do magic from it?

Stolas: Well, not really. I'm not sure.

Blitz: Then give him a fake. No harm done, and it'll be funny.

Stolas: Hehe, your mind is something, Blitz.

[sturnswrites]

drenched in us

Matt Sturniolo x Fem!Reader

⤳ angst, fluff

⤳ you and matt aren't officially dating but after you see him flirting with another girl at a party, you're forced to question your feelings for each other.

---------------------------------------------

The party was everything you hated—loud music, sweaty bodies, and fake smiles plastered on unfamiliar faces. You hadn’t even wanted to come, but Matt had begged you. It’ll be fun, y/n, he’d said, his signature grin making it impossible to say no.

But now, you regretted it.

You leaned against the wall in the corner of the living room, nursing your cup of a barely-touched drink, eyes scanning the crowd. You were trying to find him—not because you needed him, or so you told yourself, but because he’d asked you to be here. You’d shown up for him, not for this mess. The least he could do was not leave you alone to fend off boredom and the occasional sloppy flirtation from random guys.

Then you spotted him.

Matt stood across the room, his face illuminated by the flickering neon lights. His messy brown hair was perfectly tousled, his shoulders loose, and that stupid smirk you couldn’t get out of your head was aimed at her.

You didn’t recognize her but she was gorgeous. Laughing at whatever joke he’d just cracked, she leaned in close, her manicured hand grazing his tattoo covered arm.

You froze as the world seemed to stop. 

Your stomach twisted, tightening with every second he didn’t pull back or look uncomfortable. In fact, he looked like he was enjoying it. That smirk wasn’t one you saw often—it wasn’t the soft, teasing one he gave you when you tried to argue about something dumb, or the one he used to get you to smile when you were in a bad mood. This was different.

And it broke something inside you.

The worst part? You didn’t even have a right to feel this way. Matt wasn’t yours. The two of you weren’t dating, weren’t anything official.

But you couldn’t take it anymore. You slammed your cup down on the nearest surface and pushed through the crowd, weaving past people who were too drunk to notice your stormy expression. You needed to get as far away as you could from the boy before something more unraveled in front of your face. 

By the time you reached the front door, the cool night air combined with the rain that had started to fall hit your face, but it did nothing to cool the fire raging inside you.

“Y/n!”

You knew that voice from anywhere. His voice. Stopping you dead in your tracks. 

You turned, your heart pounding as Matt stepped out onto the porch. His brows were furrowed, his chest rising and falling like he’d run after you. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?” you repeated, bitterness dripping from your words. “You tell me, Matt. Because from where I was standing, it looked like you were having the time of your life with her.” 

His confused expression faltered for a moment. “Are you—wait.” He stepped closer, his voice dropping. “Were you…jealous?”

“Yes!” you snapped, your voice breaking, wet streaks streaming down your face, you couldn’t tell what was tears or rain. The word tumbled out before you could stop it, raw and unfiltered. “Of course I was jealous! Do you even get how hard it is for me to see you with someone else? Whatever we have right now is not enough, Matt. I can’t keep doing this—watching you look at someone the way you look at me.”

The words hung in the air between you, heavy and undeniable. Suddenly the roles had reversed and now Matt was the one who was frozen. 

Matt’s face softened, his wide eyes searching yours as the rain dripped from his lashes. “Y/n…”

“No,” you interrupted, your voice trembling. “I mean it, Matt. I need you to make this official. Right now. Because I can’t keep pretending this doesn’t hurt. You can’t keep acting like I don’t feel anything, like you don’t feel anything. You take me to dinner, hold me until I fall asleep every night, hell, I’ve met your parents, but you can’t even make me your girlfriend.” 

The rain fell harder, the sound drowning out the muffled music from the party.

Matt took a step closer, his eyes locked on yours. “I wasn’t flirting with her because I wanted to,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I was trying to distract myself. Because every time I look at you, I want things I’m scared to mess up.”

His words made your breath hitch, your anger faltering under the weight of his confession.

“But I can’t do this anymore either,” he continued, rain streaming down his face as he ran a hand through his wet hair. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I was just too scared to ruin what we have.”

Your lips parted, but no words came out. You didn’t know what to say, how you felt. 

Then, without warning, Matt stepped forward and cupped your face with his hands. His palms were cold from the rain, but his touch was warm, grounding.

“I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t enough,” he murmured. His voice cracked, a vulnerability in his tone that you’d never heard before. “You’ve always been more than enough for me.”

Before you could respond, his lips were on yours, crashing into you with all the emotion he’d held back for so long.

The kiss was everything—soft and desperate, warm and urgent despite the cold rain pouring down. It was everything you’d wanted to hold on to forever but never thought you could have.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours. His brown eyes searched yours, and for the first time that night, you saw no hesitation, no fear.

“No more distracting myself from how I really feel. Let’s do this,” he whispered, his lips curving into a small smile. “Officially. You and me.”

A watery laugh escaped you as you nodded, tears mixing with the rain on your face. “You and me,” you echoed, the words feeling lighter and truer than anything you’d said in weeks.

And just like that, the storm between you two finally passed.

---------------------------------------------

hiii first fan fic bare with me I don’t really know what I’m doing 😀

⭒ margot

[queenhallebe]

Let's Set the record Straight: Respecting Jungkook's Personality!

Facts about Jungkook that tend to lead people into thinking he is a playboy or what we all know as a f🔞ckboy.

Charismatic personality

Jungkook's charm, confidence and flirtatious nature DURING performances, and read that again please, DURING, not after, and before... performances and interactions with fans might be interpreted as some playboy behavior . He's often affectionate , playful and comfortable with fans that often goes misinterpreted as fckboy behavior.

Appeal to fans

As one of the most beloved members of BTS, Jungkook has one of the largest, if not the largest and most diverse fan base. His good looks, talent and confidence attract a wide range of admirers, and some people have read this kind of admiration as indicative of his personal romantic life, even though there's no public evidence to support such assumptions.

Public image, media and the love for drama

The media sometimes portrays K-pop idols in exaggerated or hyperbolic ways, especially when it comes to their personal lives, and Jungkook is no exception.And I think this is the part where we bring the famous Dispatch. Well, doesn't everyone just want to know who Jungkook's having s€x with? And isn't the media keen on chasing after a person for the clout they have?? Imagine how powerful it would be to have his image tainted; the headlines, the hashtag trends...and many more.

Now that we're done done with the first three reasons why, there's this other one, last but not least, but a very problematic take;

He's a man!!

And I know where most of this comes from. Men know what they're like. Women have been hurt by men. And 70 % of women out there don't know atleast 2 men who aren't “ran through” , except those ones who can't actually pull. Even the men themselves can't even bring themselves to believe that such men do exist, that's why the projection; because they know themselves too well, and will tell on themselves through talking about other successful men. And you also know why?? Feigning of innocence!! And I think with this one y'all can definitely tell, that I'm talking about our dear “friend” , Taeil...and his “innocent” twins.

But let's set the record straight here, Jungkook has always claimed himself as an adult the moment he became one. As as a teenager, he couldn't wait to become an adult. This was mainly because adulthood is freedom. And that's what he wanted, freedom! Freedom from being told what to do, not so he could go and fck someone's daughter, or son. Freedom to dress edgy, to get a tattoo, to drink his alcohol and get his piercings. That's all, and if you're gonna say he didn't, sorry to let you know my dear, you're just a follower, not a fan! Go looks at his most recent interactions with fans, on weverse especially. He did say, he's an adult, doing adult things, and talked about his song seven. He got stalked when he was smoking privately, and the world got to see that, but he never once, denied the thing, he actually continued. He drank almost every live, he showed us his fridge, full of nothing but alcoholic beverages. He once did share a story of his gf as a teenager. So I think we've gotten that out of the way. Jungkook was never keen on showing anyone how “innocent” he is, so he's not a man hiding behind any innocence. He's innocent because he looks like that, not because he is conniving.

This man has been a victim of many things, namely hate trains, sexualization, stalking, death threats, smear campaigns, boycotts and many more.

While it's an understandable thing to not like someone, find someone good looking, and even boycott for reasons known to you... there's nothing that can justify why he was to go through hate trains and being stalked, and swearing on your cat's life that he's a s|ut just because you see him playfully interacting with Armys, or because he just looks like he could be one.

“Well he knew what he was getting himself into being a kpop idol”

No!!! Absolutely no one deserves to be hated just because they're public figures. Being a public figure does expose you to a lot of criticism and scrutiny,but it's NOT for people to stalk you, to want to take your life, and to play around with your sexuality, assuming how gay or straight you are!! It's not a good thing just because people have normalized doing nothing about it. And those who try to defend him are gaslighted into thinking they're wrong for simply wanting that he should atleast have his privacy. People just want to justify blind idiots confusing his playful attitude with hoe-ology, they want to justify the people who confuse his welcoming nature for “do-whatever-you-want,come-into-my-house,-cook-for-me-and-when-you're-done,-come-jump-straight-into-my-arms” !

Like I said, there's nothing wrong with the fantasies people have in their heads, and maybe even assuming things, coz that's human. But while doing so, it's important to keep remembering that the “vibe” you're getting from him, is all in your and your friends' head. The so called evidences, those blurry photos and videos have nothing to do with him, and if it's so true, it should have been captured clearly for people to see!! Yes he's not a kid, but who told you he sleeps around?

People are entitled to their opinions, but it's best they remain only as opinions.

[chaos0pikachu]

Anon I get what you're saying but for Sanji's general queerphobia/misogyny/transphobia to be a flaw there would have to be some sort of acknowledgement or specific framing as such in the narrative. It's just a gag; it's meant to be comedic - it's not, but then, it's also a very old gag.

Oda has credited Dragonball by Akira Toriyama as one of his big influences - not Dragonball Z specifically but Dragonball.

I specify b/c early Dragonball is much different from the modern conceptions about DBZ which is more familiar with western/english speaking fans due to how the dubs were released.

And like, Dragon Ball also has a lot of these pervy gags, and characters. Master Roshi gives Goku a "mission" in order to be trained by him to find him a hot woman with big breasts. Krillian bribes Roshi with porn magazines to accept him as a student. Oolong kidnaps young women in a village to be his brides. There's lots of sexual gags involving Bulma. In the first world martial arts tournament, a female martial artist strips down to her underwear as a fighting tactic to distract her opponent in order to win.

I list these because 1) in each case they're meant to be gags - Dragon ball was originally a gag and action adventure comic not the battle comic it's become more known for - 2) this is the series Oda credits as being heavily influential on him, and 3) this was extremely common in animanga of the time (the 80s).

Even Rumiko Takahashi of Inu-yasha fame and one of the most well known women creators in manga used this as a gag and often: Urusei yatsura, Ranma 1/2, Inu-yasha, and Maison Ikkoku.

My point is, it's not a flaw, it's a gag. I hate to say Oda is a product of his time but, well, he's a 50 yr old man who isn't unique to his generation. I wish he was, but he isn't. One Piece is very much a product of it's time and is just a very rare piece of media that's still alive and kicking much longer than a lot of other pieces of media from one singular creator. Which is why certain parts feel very dated - like Ussop's racist character design, Sanji's perv gag, the okama - all these things were, unfortunately, much more common and considered "acceptable" in animanga 20 years ago.

You can see them falling more and more out of favor in more recent series - the perv char isn't as common, tho they def still exist like Mineta from MHA, or Spirit in Soul Eater, there's more Black chars that aren't based off minstrel artwork thank god, and the okama gag seems to have mostly died out.

OPLA is just giving One Piece a much needed update especially in specific aspects like Sanji's dated misogyny gag.

I love Sanji with all my heart but I'm not blinded by the fact that his animanga self is also very flawed. OPLA gave him the rizz early animanga Sanji was known for and I understand why a lot of fans complain about his not so very appealing characteristics (like his chivalry towards women being over the top and his not so subtle transphobic/queerphobic attitude). Those aspects of Sanji's character are what makes him a flawed and complex character. He isn't perfect and that's the point. And just because Oda-sensei writes Sanji that way it doesn't automatically mean he echoes the same sentiment. Other characters, most notably Luffy, don't even react the same way because they are different people.

And for how OPLA is going to adapt Nami and Sanji's relationship, I think he'd be a total pushover for her and Nami can be her manipulative (affectionate) self. Sanji takes pleasure in being of service to women. It isn't as obvious but he does still serve (meals) the men in his crew even if he's angry and rude about it.

I'm a big supporter of flawed characters -- people are flawed! writing anyone as "perfect" is boring! purity culture in media is harmful! there should always be room for growth! and i know that sanji is a complex character with a lot of good attributes. i know writers giving characters problematic/negative traits does not reflect on their own personal beliefs.

BUT a direct translation of animanga sanji's "flaws" to live action would have been bad. casual fans don't have hundreds of chapters / episodes to get to know him. the writers had four episodes to give him a backstory, dreams, a personality, and above all make him likeable.

I think there's plenty of things in the live action that make him complex -- including his silly little hissy fits, the way he said cocktails, and the way he's a big fucking sycophant for luffy after one compliment. we don't need over the top transphobia/queerphobia/misogyny to have an interesting, flawed character