#'but what if i like xyz tropes' there are a million people writing exactly thats as original works. you can have it! you can find it!

[ot3]

i just simply don't understand what could possibly be the appeal for reading fanfic of a source material youre not familiar with. the ONLY benefit to fanfic fmpov is that my Best Friends from Media Property are there. if i didn't specifically want to spend more time with specific characters with the fiery passion of a thousand suns then i would just go read books. like i just can never wrap my head around it.

[sigurdjarlson]

RANT INCOMING. Yeah it’s about the hellcourse. (tw: rape, abuse, sexual abuse, incest) 

You know a lot of these people seem to have this view that "this makes me feel bad so it's bad and should not exist" and it's a very narrow minded, selfish point of view (it's telling that most 🐜 are children tbh because children have that kind of logic. Some people never grow out of it though I guess)

a particular kink, trope, show, book, fanfic, piece of fan art, whatever that makes you uncomfortable or even triggers you..is not inherently bad. Bad for you? Yes. Bad for everyone in the world ever? No. And to say something should not exist because YOU personally don't like it is..a very entitled and selfish way to view things.

 I've read fics that make me uncomfortable.

 I've read fics that left me feeling gross and fucked up for days. But are the authors bad? Absolutely not. Is the work inherently bad and dangerous? No. It's my personal experiences that make me feel the way I do and not everyone shares the same personal experiences I do. What upsets you might not upset someone else. What helps you might not help someone else. And understanding that is a matter of empathy I think.

when it comes to..problematic works of fiction. (Noncon, abusive ships, incest) they're exactly that. Fiction. Are those things horrible? Definitely. But it's perfectly fine and safe to explore these things in fiction. No one is being harmed. And as long as no one is arguing that they are okay there's no issue.  (and I have rarely, rarely seen shippers arguing that any of these things are okay irl, Honestly some of the shippers of very problematic things that i’ve met are some of the kindest, intelligent people i’ve ever known! Because what someone likes in fiction does not correlate with who they are irl or what they condone irl) 

 And someone being uncomfortable with those things is not the problem because it's understandable. It's when a person thinks they can dictate what a person consumes in fiction that it becomes a problem. It becomes a problem when people begin abusing others for having different opinions. 

Why might someone want to explore these things in fiction?

Some people just find the dark sides of humanity interesting. Fiction is a safe way to explore such things because no one is being harmed. You can explore why someone might do those things or what causes someone to end up that fucked up. Sometimes things are so awful we struggle to comprehend what could possibly make a person do those things and we’re trying to understand it via fiction.

Some people do use it to cope. This has been controversial as of late and...just because a coping mechanism is harmful for you does not mean its harmful to everyone. Everyone copes differently and mental health professionals understand that and thats why people are sometimes encouraged to explore their trauma through fiction. It helps those people. It doesn’t help you? That’s okay but you don’t get to take that away from others because you don’t like it.

You do not have a right to dictate what is or is not healthy for another person unless you are their mental health professional or they ask for your input. Seriously. Mind your own business.

Some people get off on it. Yeah. Some people jack it to noncon and incest and such. So what? It might disgust you (and that’s understandable and most shippers would agree) but it’s hurting NO ONE. Like I said as long as they’re not like hey this would be totally cool in real life...they’re not hurting anyone. 

This can make survivors understandably uncomfortable. No one is saying you’re wrong for being uncomfortable with it. People are saying you’re wrong because you’re trying to control what other people do. 

And the thing is...a lot of those people ARE survivors too. ^^ Scroll back up to the paragraph on coping.

 There are a million reasons why someone might be aroused by these things too.

Some people like it because it’s taboo/dirty/wrong. It’s the feeling that they’re dirty for getting off on it that gets their rocks off.

Some people like it because that’s all they can get off to due to trauma. (this is a common reaction believe it or not. Things like rape fantasies are common in rape victims.)

Some people want to explore dark themes in fiction. Maybe they just find it interesting because it’s so horrible they can’t comprehend what makes people do those things.

Maybe they’re trying to work out things from their past. 

Maybe they’re exploring these themes because they’re trying to understand what happened to them and why it might have happened.

 Maybe they’re trying to take back the power/control they had so cruelly ripped from them. 

They just do. Some people have kinks and they have no idea why. That’s alright. Rape fantasies are quite common in the general population. You can argue why that is all day long but it doesn’t change the fact that people have them. Some people like the thought of being powerless. Some like the idea of someone being so attracted to them they can’t control themselves. I can go on and on.

 Most romance novels have themes like this actually. And that’s okay because it’s fiction. Is that okay in real life? NO. That’s rape. You should always have someone’s enthusiastic, informed, consent.

Also the thing is..rape in real life isn’t about attraction. It’s about power and control. And no one ever truly wants rape. (That’s why it’s rape??) Dub-con is not a thing in real life. Only in fiction. And in fiction? It’s perfectly okay to explore these things because it doesn’t hurt real people. 

And people argue this normalizes such things but it doesn’t? You can’t normalize something that is universally condemned? Rape/incest/abuse is wrong. This isn’t a controversial opinion.

People who claim things like rape/incest/abuse aren’t inherently wrong for XYZ reasons are either (1) delusional (2) trying and failing to rationalize their own behavior (3) lying.

I think of how surveys say college men claim rape is okay and I can tell you right now they KNOW rape is wrong. They’re actively choosing to believe otherwise. They’re trying to convince themselves of it. (rationalizing) 

Abusers will argue all day long about how their behavior isn’t abuse because ______ or they deserved it because _______. It’s not their fault because ________

They will attempt to rationalize their own behavior to take the blame off themselves and put it elsewhere(or take the guilt off themselves if they are even capable of feeling guilt). Hell, sometimes they convince themselves they’re right and actually believe it. 

It reminds me of a post that had a passage from a book on abusers. It goes something like “abusive men will claim they have no control and yet more often than not when in a rage they destroy their victim’s belongings..but not their own.” 

It’s a choice. It’s not because they saw a show with abuse in it and became an abusive monster. They chose to be one.

Are there cases when people aren’t aware they’re being abusive? Sure. But usually on some level they do know what they’re doing is wrong. Most of us know instinctively that hurting others (whether physically or emotionally) is wrong. (unless someone has rationalized their behavior and deluded themselves into thinking it’s right. which happens) But again..this is not caused by fictional content however. There are many reasons but that is not one of them.

Some people claim that predators will use it to groom victims. And the thing is predators can use anything to groom victims. They can use praise, candy, puppies, anything to groom their victims. The point of grooming is to make the victim trust them and they can use many things to do that. 

Also I will point out that most noncon/incest/abuse fics are tagged as such. It’s tagged as rape/abuse/incest. Rape/abuse/incest is bad. It’s not called anything else there. It is what it is and no one is trying to argue otherwise. So....it would actually be counterproductive for them to use such things? Because it’s acknowledged as being wrong. They don’t want their victims to think it’s wrong. 

Some people raise the concern of children stumbling upon these things and not understanding or worse acting on what they’re seeing because it makes them believe it’s normal. 

And..that’s the same argument as “violent video games make people violent.” 

If i write a noncon fic and a child stumbles upon it despite it being tagged properly...it’s not my fault. Beyond proper tagging I am not responsible for monitoring what children see. That is the PARENTS job. If a child lies and says they’re 18 and reads said fic...it’s not my fault. 

This is the case for anything. Books, tv shows, porn, etc. Content warnings are there for a reason. Child safe options are there for a reason. Should we ban everything in the world that is inappropriate for children to see? (violence is included but somehow no one ever argues violent shows or fics should be banned..only sex...hm...telling) 

No. We should put warnings and have better tagging systems, etc. Beyond that..this is the parent’s responsibility. Children shouldn’t be seeing it in the first place.

And the harm something can do does not erase the good it may possibly do. some people only realize what happened to them was abuse because they saw it tagged as #abuse or #rape. There are so many survivors who use this kind of content to cope. There are a lot of good things that can come from it to believe it or not.

There’s also genuinely a lack of sex ed and people should be championing better sex ed programs in schools rather than trying to rid the internet of a ship they don’t like. Seriously I can’t stress this enough. We need better sexual education in schools. 

To say fiction causes X is taking the responsibility off the perpetrator. It’s giving predators the ability to cry about how society is the problem not them! Fiction made them do it! It’s not their fault!

Guess what? It is their fucking fault because they knew what they were doing. They chose to hurt someone and they deserve 100% of the blame for it. Don’t you dare take that off them. 

And yes rape culture is a thing but I might argue that these reoccurring themes are not the cause as much as a lens through which we can see problems that are already there.

And these things are 100% a problem when done in real life. But in fiction. Ughh I just..fiction hurts no one. No one is being harmed. Fictional characters are not people. They have no rights. They don’t have feelings. 

And people who stumble upon these things and are genuinely triggered? It’s very unfortunate and I sympathize but it doesn’t mean those works should be removed from the world. 

(I completely agree things should be properly tagged so people who don’t want to see those things can avoid them. And people who don’t tag their shit need to get their act together)

But ultimately It's your responsibility to make your own safe space. Unfollow blogs that ship or post things that upset you, stop reading fics that make you uncomfortable, don't go in the tags, blacklist, block, etc. there are so many options! 

If people tag their shit and you pointedly ignore those warnings and barge in anyway and then get upset...it;’s not the creator’s fault?

Fiction does effect reality but not in the way people think. It’s not a direct cause and effect relationship. Correlation does not equal causation. 

If Tom reads a noncon fic and rapes someone..it’’s not the author’s fault? Or the fic’s? It’s fully on Tom who chose to rape someone. The fic did not make him a rapist. No one reads something and suddenly turns into a horrible person. If they act on shit like that? They already had very serious issues to begin with because normal, decent people do not do those things. Duh.

And you know I think a lot of @nti’s are survivors lashing out. And hey I get it. I’m a survivor too. I may cope differently than you do but I can understand why others would be upset by it. I’m sorry you had such horrible things happen to you. You didn’t deserve it and your abuser/rapist deserves to rot in fucking hell

But the thing is...fiction isn’t the problem. It didn’t make them do what they did. (that’s a whole other discussion)

People who choose to do horrible things are the problem. 

Maybe @nti’s are lashing out at creators because they can’t lash out at the people that hurt them. That’s misdirected aggression and it’s harmful. 

Don’t hurt others who have done nothing wrong because you’re hurting. 

Hurt people hurt others. The cycle of abuse is called a cycle for a reason 

(While most survivors do not become abusers, it cannot be denied that most abusers were abused at some point. if you’re trying to understand why abusers are abusers you have to take that into account because it is a factor. Along with many other factors)

And I see that with many @nti’s. (not all) They doxx, suicide bait and emotionally abuse others in the name of “justice.” That’s just rationale. Faulty rationale for very toxic behavior.

I believe there are definitely some @nti’s are just fucking assholes who are using social justice as an excuse to treat others like shit because it makes them feel better. But I also believe some people are genuinely misguided or lashing out too.

The thing to remember..you are still responsible for your behavior. Being a survivor or mentally ill does not make you exempt from this rule. You are responsible for critically looking at your own behavior and making appropriate changes. 

I try to live my life in a way that causes the least harm possible. That’s my philosophy and I think it’s one all of us should strive to live by.

Your life will become much more pleasant if you avoid the things you dislike and enjoy the things you do like. Strive to help others. Not hurt innocent people. 

Please stop hurting people over fictional ships. It’s not hurting anyone. It really isn’’t.

If you want to really help people. If you really want to help survivors..help REAL survivors. Donate to charities, volunteer, work for better sex ed, the list goes on and on.  (many shippers do these things too because they understand that fiction and reality need to be separate) 

Because telling Angie on tumblr she’s disgusting for shipping X does nothing.

Summary: I’m very tired of all this

But I wish you all the best all the same.

Whoever you are...whoever is reading this. I hope you find peace..