#'becoming a button man' is slang for becoming a made man in the mafia

[necromatador]

(Me immediately on seeing this: OH WHERE'S THAT DRAWING OF TROUBLE GETTING HIS BUTTON)

Oh I gave a great idea! *breaks character's psyche into a million unsalvageable pieces with a baseball bat*

[idy-ll-ique]

Paparazzi.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: TOO META, m*sturbation, mentions of s*x

Requested: nope

Summary: I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me... Y/N Y/L/N writes Marvel fanfictions. One day, Sebastian stumbles upon her account and, unable to help himself, reads all the stuff she has written about him. He didn't mean to fall so hard for her but he does. How can he not? She has shown him parts of himself that he never even knew existed.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Okay so a few weeks ago I read a similar (but dark) fanfic and I really wanted to write a softer version of it... Enjoy!

---

Same old, boring routine.

Y/N hit post and slumped against the headrest of her bed, sighing. She waited; a minute, then two passed and she noticed that someone had liked her post. She smiled to herself as she kept her phone away. Though boring, she wouldn't trade her life for the world. Y/N… well, she was a university student first and foremost but she was also a writer.

Being a big fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she had started writing fanfictions a few years ago. She posted them on Tumblr, where her blog, though not very well-known, stood out enough for her posts to get around 800-1000 likes per post. She loved it; she loved writing, she loved posting her stories and especially, she loved the feedback.

Sometimes people were rude, but most times, the reviews she got were fantastic. She read each and every one of them, smiling goofily as people freaked out over her fanfictions. It warmed her heart. A smile automatically blooming on her face, Y/N lay down on the bed and decided to go to sleep, it being almost 3 am.

Unbeknownst to her, someone else was up at the same time, tossing and turning in his bed, restless.

Sebastian sighed as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. He drank some water and lay down again, closing his eyes but it was like sleep was mad at him. Refused to be anywhere near him. He groaned to himself and picked up his phone from the nightstand, deciding to go through Instagram, hoping he'd finally fall asleep to the glare of the screen.

As he logged into his account, he skipped the activity page and went straight to the explore page. Bored, he continued scrolling until his eyes landed on a specific photo. And the breath escaped his lungs when he clicked on it; the woman in the picture was absolutely gorgeous. He just couldn't resist going to her page, smiling widely when he read her bio.

It gave him her basic information; her name, her age, the university she attended. But what caught his eye was the link below the bio. My Marvel Fanfictions Master List. Marvel fanfictions? She was a writer? Smirking, he clicked on the link and it took him to Tumblr. Of course, he'd heard of the site, but didn't have an account on there. At 3 am, his mind sure wasn't working right.

A post popped up on the screen, the same master list she had mentioned earlier. And his eyes bulged out of their sockets; damn, those are a lot of fanfictions. He went through the whole thing, smirking again when he noticed that she had written the most fanfictions about him. Not Bucky Barnes, no, Sebastian Stan.

He clicked on the first one. The date of posting was way back, in 2019. He started reading; nothing about it felt weird to him; he was intrigued, if anything. And as he continued reading, he couldn't help but imagine her being in the stead of the female protagonist. Her, the writer. The woman whose picture had made him end up reading in the first place.

When he finished the story, his heart thudded wildly in his chest. Wow, she really has a way with words. And he had also noticed how in the author's note, she used a lot of slang but reading the story had made him realize that she had an amazing, extensive vocabulary. He went back to the master list and clicked on the latest post under his name.

Posted: 15 minutes ago.

His breath hitched in his throat when he read the warnings: there was going to be sexual intercourse in this one. For one moment, he hesitated; did he really want to read this? "Oh fuck it," he huffed and scrolled, starting to read. The more he read, the more his shaft twitched in his pants. He wasn't really like that during… but oh damn, he wasn't complaining.

"Oh, Seb…"

His hand slid down and he rubbed himself through his boxers, unable to take his eyes off the text in front of him. His strokes got harder and faster as the sex got steamier. "Ungh, I'm gonna cum—" And he suddenly came in his boxers, groaning. Slumping down on the bed, he quickly finished reading the rest of it, going back to the master list.

He took a screenshot with the account's name in it and then went back to her Instagram account to take another screenshot. Keeping his phone away, he slipped out of his boxers, cleaned himself and pulled the covers on top of him, finally feeling tired enough to fall asleep.

---

Y/N was walking across the campus of her university, going to the cafeteria when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Taking it out, she opened Tumblr to read the message someone had sent her just then.

his-username: Hi there! I was binging your account last night, you write really well

your-username: Omg thank you!!!! I really appreciate it, I love getting feedback! 🥺❤

his-username: You're welcome! Especially your latest post, that was really good ;)

your-username: hehe ���� glad you liked it!

Smiling widely, she kept her phone away and continued walking, not knowing that the person who had texted her was the same man she had written about. Sebastian smiled to himself when he read her text. After getting up in the morning, the first thing he had done was install Tumblr on his phone. Then he made an account for himself.

Figuring out the app was easy; he found out that there was an option to keep your liked posts and the accounts you followed hidden, and selected it immediately. No one needed to know what he did on the app. Then he went back to her account, pressed the follow button and started binge-reading her fanfictions again. Last night had he read only two, and that had left him wanting more.

Funny how much things can change in a night. He liked and reblogged all her posts without a second thought; he even read all her Bucky Barnes posts. She understood his character so well, put him on what he thought was an undeserved pedestal while writing about him. Some of the stories were AUs, which he found out stood for Alternate Universes. Mostly mobster or mafia stuff.

He had the day off, and he spent the entire time cooped up in his apartment, on his bed, reading. The more he read, the more he started fawning over her, over the version of him that she put out to the world. Dominating, suave and just perfect. He loved it. At the end of the day, he decided to text her again, hoping she wouldn't think he was weird or find out the truth.

his-username: do you wanna be friends, maybe? I'm new to the app, don't really have any friends here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That was a lie, he knew Mark Ruffalo had an active Tumblr account. But it's not like he could tell him.

your-username: Yes sure!!!! I was also thinking of making some friends on this app lol

his-username: You don't have any on here? But you've been here for years, haven't you?

your-username: haha yeah, but I don't really reach out to people much. Sometimes people leave their feedbacks on my posts, text me but that's that

his-username: Ohhh

his-username: well, let's start with names. Mine's Sebastian

your-username: Really?????? omg that's so cool lmaooooooo (didn't think you were a boy but 😳👀)

his-username: Not a boy, I'm a man 😤😂

your-username: 🤣 im y/n, btw

his-username: Y/N, that's a nice name

your-username: thank you!!!! So, what do you do?

his-username: nothing really that interesting, I'm in theatre

your-username: theatre is nice! I'm studying at [university] in New York lmao

his-username: Wait you're in New York? So am I!

your-username: ASDFHKSHKGF that's awesome!!! also I noticed that you've been going through my account the whole day 😏 notifications upon notifications keeping my phone busy

his-username: Oopsie?

your-username: 😂😂 I really don't mind, it was great! Despite the amount of likes on my posts, I only have a few loyal followers lmao gaining one more felt nice

your-username: You a big fan of Sebastian Stan? Cuz I noticed that you were only reading his and Bucky's fics 👀

Sebastian's face heated up.

his-username: kinda yeah 🤷🏻‍♂️😁

your-username: Cool cool cool, I'm a big fan of his too!!!! also got a crush on him but whatever 😳

Sebastian smirked at his phone. A crush on him, huh? That… was acceptable. He suddenly felt his cocky side coming out; the one she described in nearly all her fanfictions.

his-username: wouldn't blame ya, I mean, look at him. You have also written the most fics about him and Bucky

your-username: right????? damn that man has raised my standards. Anyway, I gtg now, I have to finish a paper before midnight. ttyl!

his-username: Bye! 👋🏻

He kept his phone away and took in a deep breath. This was the most fun he had had in years, and he was not letting her go so easy. He realized he was quickly falling for her; rather unhealthy, but he couldn't help it. Look at her. She looks like a goddamn angel, writes like one, makes him feel like one, do you really expect him not to fall for her? That's insane.

---

Months passed by like a breeze. Y/N and Sebastian had become very good friends, and he knew his way around words just enough to keep her from finding out his identity while not lying to her. Y/N also appreciated his friendship, because he was the one to whom she could rant about her most favorite man in the world— Sebastian Stan.

Sometimes, she thought about how weird of a coincidence it was that her new friend and the actor shared the same names, but then she used to brush it off; that was a common name, right? They talked for hours on end; Sebastian (her friend, not the actor) was extremely witty, smart and fun to talk to, she had to admit. Sebastian felt the same way.

His feelings had worsened. Y/N entirely owned his heart now. Somedays, he'd just go on Instagram, go to her account— her username memorized by him— and stare at her photos until he grew tired; he'd never get tired of looking at her beautiful face but his stiff body afterwards begged to differ. She was just so Elysian. He longed for the moment when he could meet her in real life.

His personality had also changed majorly, and people had caught on. Especially his Marvel co-stars, who knew him to be introverted, shy and, in Anthony Mackie's words, "boring". They were surprised at his sudden change in attitude; he knew his worth and Y/N had helped tremendously in finding it. Now, all those adjectives that she used in her fanfictions fit him perfectly.

Sebastian was never tempted to read fanfictions about himself from authors other than Y/N. No, he only loved her work. He was sure no one else could write as beautifully as she did, he was her #1 fan. Y/N even sent him funny Marvel memes she found on the app and he used to enjoy them heartily; God, the others have no idea what they're missing out on. Our fans are awesome.

Everything was going well.

Until one day.

Sebastian was getting bored at home, so he decided to go to the nearby library to clear his mind. He had read not one book in the past few months, hung up on Y/N's fanfictions. At this point, he was obsessed with her and he knew it. It was nothing dark, per se, it was— it was similar to how Y/N was attracted to Sebastian. How she was a fan of his work.

Just the same. He was a fan of her work in the same way. Just how she was attracted to him, he was attracted to her. Walking into the library that he visited often, he gave the librarian a smile and ventured further into the dark place. He checked his watch; the library closed at 12 am, it was currently 9:30 pm.

Not many people were around, heck, nobody was around. He thought himself to be all alone until he heard it. A sigh, coming from a few aisles away. He walked in that direction and peeked around the corner, freezing when he saw the other person. Y/N? Her books were strewn all across the table as she sat alone at the booth, rubbing her temples.

"You okay?"

She looked up and her breath caught in her throat. I'm dreaming. This is not real. Now I know for a fact that Sebastian Stan is not standing in front of me, asking me if I'm— "Hello?" He snapped his fingers in front of her face, pulling her out of her thoughts. "I, uh— I'm— h-hi," she stammered and he almost chuckled. "Hi." She gulped visibly and blinked at the table, not meeting his eyes.

"Can I have a seat?" He wants to sit with me?! "Y-Yes, sure, sir," she blurted out and he easily slid into the booth next to her. "Hey, please, call me Sebastian. What's your name?" He gave her a friendly smile, even though all he wanted to do was push her back into the booth and kiss her wildly. His shaft twitched just by thinking about it; Y/N was a thousand times more beautiful in person.

"I'm Y/N, it's very nice to meet you, I'm… I'm a fan," she admitted, playing with the ring she wore on her left thumb. I'm your fan too, sweetheart, the biggest one. "Y/N, nice name. You come here often? I haven't really seen you around." She shook her head. "Oh no no, I moved to this part of the city just a week ago, this is my first time here. The library is cozy," she shrugged, easing out of her tense position.

Sebastian nodded. "Yes, I know, this place is awesome. Got all my favorite books here," he chuckled and she smiled at him. "What's all this?" A groan left her lips. "Ugh, stupid university work. I have to write a book report but I don't even know what to write about." He smiled gently. "Well, I have a few favorite books, would you like some suggestions?"

"Oh, please! Tell me!"

He started listing some of his favorite works and Y/N noted the names down until he said the last name. At that, she froze. That's the name of my latest— She looked up but he had a smile on his face. "Oh, and the last one is by my favorite author." He took a pause. "Y/N Y/L/N." She froze completely, staring at the man with her jaw dropped.

Sebastian grinned. "We finally meet, Y/N, I've been waiting for months." Her mouth opened and closed several times as she recalled every interaction she had had with her online best friend— scratch that— her celebrity crush. All the times she had confessed her love for Sebastian Stan, all the dirty and inappropriate memes that she'd sent him…

Embarrassment flooded her entire body as she exhaled shakily. "It was you," she croaked out, "On Tumblr, the account— I'm so sorry—" Sebastian frowned in confusion when she blinked back sudden tears, a few still rolling down her cheeks as shame replaced embarrassment. "Y/N, please don't cry…" She looked up at him, his figure blurry due to her tears.

"You've read everything, haven't you? I just— I'm sorry, I don't want to make you uncomfortable—" He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. Y/N couldn't hug back, though she appreciated the hug especially since it came from him. "You don't know how much you mean to me, doll," he mumbled into her shoulder, using the nickname she often used in the stories she wrote about him. He grew accustomed to it easily.

"Huh?"

He pulled away to wipe her tears. "It was an accident," he admitted, "But I stumbled onto your Instagram account from my explore page. Then I clicked on your account, saw that you wrote Marvel fanfictions and I just couldn't resist the urge to read what you had written. Blame it on 3 am me, to be honest. You're a great writer, and I was immediately drawn to your works. They're awesome.

"They've helped me so much in the past few months. You see this changed attitude that everyone's been talking about lately? All because of you, sweetheart. I'm sorry for keeping my identity secret, but after reading your works, I knew I had to get closer to you. I made the Tumblr account just for you, just so I could talk to you. I'm sorry for lying, but thank you."

Y/N dumbfoundedly stared at him for a few moments, her heart beat getting steady with each thump. Here was a man she admired, loved more than anyone else in the world, telling her that he harbored the same feelings for her. How crazy was that?! Not trusting her words, she simply pulled him into another hug. Sebastian wrapped his arms tight around her, pulling her flush against him.

"Can I kiss you, doll?"

She slowly pulled away from him and nodded, shyly biting her lip. Grinning at the endearing gesture, Sebastian cupped her face and leaned in, gently pressing his lips to hers. The kiss grew hungry in a matter of seconds, and Y/N responded just as eagerly. His hands slid down to her waist and tugged on it, pulling her on his lap. She straddled his thighs as they continued kissing.

"Fuck," he groaned when they finally pulled away from each other, out of breath and panting. "You see what you do to me, doll?" Sebastian spoke huskily as he took her hand, placing it right on top of the tent that was forming in his pants. "Oh," Y/N whimpered when she felt him, the sound going straight to his shaft. "How about I take you home and we recreate some of the scenes from your stories, hm?"

"O-Okay."

"Good girl."

---

A/N: What a meta experience 🤡 Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[bandaged-writer]

a chance || dazai

➤ Pairing: Dazai x Reader

➤ Genre: fluff

➤ Warning: none

➤ Summary: To be held so closely and tightly by you, reminded him of the time you confessed to him one late afternoon. Now that Dazai thought about it, it was a lovely memory and wondered if it was okay for him to give in.

➤ Word count: 3.1k

➤ Note: This is my first time writing after nearly a year, but I hope you still enjoy it. Please, let me know what you think and feel free to drop a request in my inbox. ^.^

The sound of hurried footsteps were successfully drowned out by the hustle lingering within the busy streets of Yokohama. People chattered away either on their phone for business purposes or with their peers, laughing at jokes, pouting and enjoying themselves underneath the glowing sun of spring. The smell of food filled your nostrils as you passed them in a hurry and for a moment you contemplated getting a piece of that delicious piece of strawberry cake the bakery had on display. After all, your morning stopped you from having the slightest bit of breakfast in your system.

That train of thought, however, was interrupted by your colleague, Kunikida, picking up the phone. “Where are you? You’re already five minutes late and I doubt you’ll finish the reports you have to finish at this rate.” You couldn’t helpt the slight roll of your eyes, yet you knew that Kunikida only meant well - or so you’d like to believe. “I’m sorry, Kunikida,” you started with a heavy sigh, stopped at a traffic light and waited for the lights to turn green. “My car wouldn’t start this morning and the traffic is too horrible to take the bus. The next train would’ve arrived late so now I’m walking to work.” 

To anyone else, it could sound like an excuse, but Kunikida never saw you arriving late without a plausible reason and even that case was extremely rare. Whenever he entered the office, you’d arrive at the Agency only a few minutes after him, a treat from the local bakery in your hands and a grin on your face. Truth be told, it had become a part of Kunikida’s schedule: “Greet [Name] at 08:05 am”. That’s how consistent your presence was.  “That’s unfortunate,” Kunikida spoke and glanced over at your supposedly empty desk which Dazai was occupying, mumbling something about finding your Google search history and using it for blackmail while Atsushi was quite literally dragging his superior away from your desk. Luckily, all the chairs possessed the ability to roll. ‘‘How much longer will you take?“

One hand stuffed into the pocket of your jacket, you hastily crossed the street once the traffic lights turned green and skillfully avoided bumping into people, only stopping once because someone’s dog was sniffing your leg with a wagging tail. You stroked the pet’s head affectionately and cooed at the creature that possessed such button-like eyes. At least there was one good thing about your morning now. “Hmm..Maybe about ten minutes? Could be less, could be a few minutes more,” you spoke into the phone, unsure of how long you’d actually take. If the streets continued to be so lively, then you’d definitely need longer than usual. Why couldn’t those people choose a different day to go outside and meet up with their friends and business partners? Ah, not like you had any control over such a thing.

‘‘Dazai-san! I’m sure you won’t find anything on [Name]‘s computer!“ Atsushi argued loudly enough for you to catch it over the phone. ‘‘Isn’t this what people your age call ‘finding tea‘?“ Dazai whined in response, pouted his lips and acted like he had gotten seriously betrayed by the Internet and its slang language.

‘Oh, Dazai is back?” You asked Kunikida before he could ask you to hurry up so he wouldn’t end up wringing the brown-haired man’s neck who was currently going on Kunikida’s nerves with his usual antics. A smile cracked your lips at the thought of a sense of normality returning to the Agency. Well, as normal as it could be. “Unfortunately, yes. Please try to arrive as early as possible.”

With those words being said, the call ended and the small smile fell from your lips faster than it had found home on your face. Everyone was still on high alert after Atsushi was abducted by Akutagawa and fought the Port Mafia’s rabid dog. Then there was Dazai purposely getting himself caught by the mafia just so he could find out who had placed the bounty on the young boy’s head. He was successful as always, but usually it was a death sentence once you were within the wall’s of the Port Mafia.

Of course, you believed in Dazai. His calculations were awfully accurate and somehow, everything played right into his bandaged hands. A man of such intellect would be terrifying to anyone else, but it only made you wonder how sharp Dazai really was, how deep his thoughts truly went. You’d probably never find out.

Despite Dazai’s plans always working out one way or another, you couldn’t help but worry about the suicidal idiot while everyone else brushed it off, saying he was either drifting along the river or chatting up some pretty lady. Only Atsushi and you had voiced out your concerns at the time.

You’d barely made it through the door and shrugged off your jacket when your hand was suddenly held by an awfull familiar, bandaged one and chocolate orbs sparkled brightly upon your apparently long-awaited arrival. “What a blessing you are for my sore eyes!” Dazai exclaimed dramatically and pulled off his daily, overdramatical act, lips pulled into an anticipating and hopeful smile that this time you’d say yes to a double suicide with him. “Ah, [Name]! You won’t believe how dull and grey the morning is when you’re not here and all I see is Kunikida’s unflattering face.” Somewhere in the back, you could hear Kunikida call out his partner’s name in an offended and warning tone of voice, probably about to pop a vein, too.

Normally, you would’ve laughed at their antics, but this time, a frown slowly spread across your face as you looked at Dazai, his hand delicately holding yours. Only one mistake in his planned abduction could’ve sentenced him to death by the hands of some mafioso. He wouldn’t be here, holding your hand and fooling around with Atsushi, annoying Kunikida and receiving more paperwork as a result. That idiot wouldn’t ask you for a double suicide every morning or steal bite after bite of your food until it, according to Dazai, magically disappeared. He would be gone, erased, deleted. This was the first time Dazai had been at the office ever since his visit at the mafia. “A wonderful face such as yours would look absolutely stunning in a lover’s-”

Dazai cut himself off as you refused to even crack the ghost of a smile at his attempt of openly flirting with you. Usually, you’d hear him out and end up laughing at his rather serious suggestion, but this time, there wasn’t even a glimmer of amusement in your eyes. Instead, he found a layer of sudden sadness clouding your gaze, but it wasn’t enough for tears to spill. “Is everything okay?”

You lowered your gaze to the ground, bangs casting a shadow over your eyes while you slowly let your hand slip from Dazai’s gentle grasp and raised it up high. Suddenly, you smacked him upside down on the head - maybe a bit harder than you intended to, but it was deserved either way. “You idiot!,” you exclaimed loudly enough to catch the attention of your colleagues who were more than puzzled that you were upset with Dazai of all people. After all, they were convinced that the two of you were connected by the hip or siblings separated at birth. 

“Ah, didn’t I tell you that I’m not as fond of pain as I am of your face, [Name]?” Dazai whined after his chin collided with your shoulder pretty hard. A pout found home on his lips as he was about to rub the sore spot you had hit so mercilessly and out of the blue, as well. “Shut up,” you said and rested one hand on his back, the other one cradled the back of Dazai’s head, getting tangled in his messy, brown locks. It probably looked funny given that Dazai was taller than you and maybe you’d laugh about that later. “I was worried sick about you,” the grasp you had on his trenchcoat tightened like he was about to disappear, slip from your embrace like water through the gaps of your fingers. 

Chocolate-like orbs widened as he understood what the hit was for and he silently admitted that it was indeed deserved. He’d told you nothing about his plan to extract information directly from the mafia instead of receiving it through a third person. Of course, Dazai knew you’d be upset with him once he’d return to the Agency, knew about the feelings you held for him.

Dazai could feel your heart thumping against his chest in relief and allowed himself to bask in the warmth you radiated. He didn’t necessarily return the hug, but ended up patting the top of your head and gently messing up your styled hair which had probably frustrated you like every morning. To be held so closely and tightly by you, reminded him of the time you confessed to him one late afternoon. Now that Dazai thought about it, it was a lovely memory and wondered if it was okay for him to give in.

The sun was beginning to set and dipped the office of the Agency into an orange hue, giving the usually lively space a tranquil and warm aura that would be welcomed by anyone walking in. But the office was empty safe for Dazai and you who was typing away on the laptop in front of you, sending off important emails and bringing certain documents into chronological order to make it easier for Kunikida to skim through them whenever it’d be needed.

Dazai had ended up with more paperwork than necessary since he insisted on annoying Kunikida all day while you just had a lot to do. A case had caused a lot of material damage throughout Yokohama and now it was your duty to get everything organized and ready to be paid off by the insurance that had saved the Agency from bankruptcy more than once. That was why the two of you were currently stuck in the office, working overtime, unpaid.

Usually, you’d chat with the man sitting opposite of you about anything that came to mind, but that afternoon, you were nervously biting your bottom lip, chewing the sensitive flesh until it was reddened. The glances you stole of him were fleeting but you’d always look away whenever Dazai was about to make eye contact. Your cheeks were dusted in a pink hue as well and truth be told, it looked cute and suited you in a way. However, Dazai wasn’t too fond of your sudden silence. He was about to break the silence, but you cut him to it and closed the laptop shut a bit louder than necessary - you flinched at the sudden, strong sound bouncing off the walls of the Agency.

“I’ve got to tell you something,” your voice was full of conviction yet it was shaking with the insecurity of a child, your fingers couldn’t properly hold still. Interested in what you had to say, Dazai rested his chin on his palm, brown eyes attentive to your every move yet they held a soft glimmer in them and conjured a smile on his lips. “Hm? What is it?”

You took a deep breath - once, twice. It felt like your heart was trying to pound its way out of your ribcage, your pulse raced and you could hear the blood ringing in your ears. But this was no time to chicken out. If you didn’t do it now, God knew when the next best chance would be offered to you on a silver platter like this. “This might sound silly, but I think I might be developing feelings towards you,” you confessed in one breath and for a moment it felt like a burden had been lifted off your shoulders. It felt good to come clean. “You don’t have to return those feelings at all. I just..really needed to get this off my chest and I don’t want it to change anything between us,” and it was true. You didn’t mind being just friends with the suicide enthusiast as long as he remained by your side in some way. But unsaid feelings can be one’s downfall, so you took the risk.

The expression on Dazai’s face didn’t change, but it wasn’t quite readable, either. There was a certain depth to it that you’d never reach the end of, no matter how deep you swam, no matter how deep you’d cut. “I was wondering when you’d notice,” Dazai pretty much deadpanned. He had taken notice of your lingering gaze, the more frequent blushing when he’d compliment you or the fact that you always brought food with you, although you knew he’d eat it instead. The confusion on your face at that moment was quite amusing, too. Dazai chuckled, “you’re pretty much an open book for me to read, [Name].”

Of course, he’d know before you’d even notice your own feelings, you thought to yourself and let a gentle chuckle slip past your lips. It was really futile to hide anything from that man. “Promise it won’t change anything between us?”

“Promise,” he smiled in a heartfelt way.

“Yes, we’re all very happy you two get along,” Kunikida cut the moment without mercy and dumped a load of paperwork on your desk that contained things like finances, complaints, cancelled cases as well as successful ones. “But work comes first.” The blonde adjusted his glasses on his nose and then crossed the point of giving you your work for the day out of his schedule. Next was getting the discounted eggs and several other goods. No way he was going to miss out on that. “Come on, don’t be so harsh on them, Kunikida,” Yosano said, sitting on the edge of Ranpo’s desk who had been watching the scene with snacks between his fingers. “You know how they are,” the doctor tried to reason with the idealist and possibly lessen your paperwork. Kunikida shook his head no - as was expected but one could always hope, right? “That’s no excuse to be slacking.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you assured your colleagues and got to your desk only to find your Google search history opened. So that bandaged bastard really did want to find dirt on you. Luckily, this wasn’t your personal laptop but the one you explicitly used for work. “It has to be done sooner or later, anyway. I’d rather have it off the desk now than tomorrow,” getting comfortable, you opened up Excel and began typing in the different losses as well as profits the Agency had made, giving several documents your signature and the likes. 

“And what was that about my face being unflattering, you bandage wasting machine?!”

“Ouch, words hurt, Kunikida-kun!”

True to your words, all the paperwork was off your desk, every single data was saved on your laptop and the documents were stored away safely in a folder. When you looked out of the window, you saw that the large crowds from this morning were beginning to clear out, the sun was about to set soon. Considering the time, you doubted that anyone else would enter the Agency, today. 

Atsushi was out on a job with Kenji, Kunikida was getting those discounted eggs, Ranpo had finished a murder case and most likely went home with Tanizaki’s help. Yosano had given you a hand with some of your work but left early.

You closed the Agency’s door when your ears perked up at the sound of footsteps approaching you and sighed. “I’m sorry but we’re closed for today,” you spoke and locked the door properly, letting the key slide into the pocket of your jacket. But to your surprise, it was no possible client that wanted to give the Agency yet another case. “What? You can’t recognize me by the sound of my footsteps? I’m disappointed, [Name],” Dazai feigned hurt and put his hand right above his heart. The audacity you had to not recognize him after working together for so long! You couldn’t help the surprise adorning your face - Dazai never got back to his workplace unless he was dragged by Kunikida or it was a top priority. “Yeah, you must be incredibly hurt and will never get over it,” you laughed and cocked your hips to your side. “Now, what did you come back for?”

It was at that very moment that Dazai dropped the theatrical act that you had grown so fond of and replaced it what that damned tender face of his. You know, the face someone made when they could see their puppy grow up. “Let’s go on a date,” He spoke softly, not tripping over a syllable and remaining completely composed unlike you when you had confessed one or two months ago. Heat rose to your cheeks and suddenly, you grew oddly shy. Sure, Dazai was the epitome of a flirt and regularly asked women to commit a double suicide with him, but never quite asked them for a date with a look in his eyes that made the endless depths of them seem reachable. “Are you serious?” You double-checked, eyebrows raised in curiosity of his sincerity. Although you were pretty sure that Dazai wasn’t messing around in that moment, you feared that your ears might’ve played an ill trick on you. “As serious as a suicide enthusiast can be,” Dazai confirmed and offered for you to take his hand. Your eyes flickered from his hand and back to his face a few times, wondering what changed his mind about your feelings towards him and being a little bit cautious. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“You trust me, don’t you?” You hated it whenever he pulled the trust card. Both of you knew you could never say no to that particular question, because it’d be a lie. And Dazai had a nose for lies. Sighing, you put your hand in his and watched his face light up in a pleased way, red staining your cheeks and your heart rate gradually picking up the more you realized that Dazai was seriously taking you out. In a date way. 

As the two of you strolled throughout Yokohama’s streets and ended up in a small restaurant where Dazai made up for all the times he’d eaten your food by treating you to dinner, he’d realized that maybe this was one of the few right decisions he’d ever made.

A friend of him once told him he could never fill the empty hole in his heart. But maybe you could.

[regencyresource]

( * &. ━ list of slang words from the 1920′s

presenting a long list of slang terms from the “roaring twenties" ! the age of mobsters and jazz ! the time of longing after married women and staring into green-lights to include in your literary ventures ! i claim no ownership for this list, it was sourced HERE.

A

Alderman: A man's pot-belly

Ameche: Telephone 

Ankle: (n) Woman; (v) To walk 

Ab-so-lute-ly: Affirmative, yes 

Absent treatment: Dancing with a timid partner 

Air tight: Very attractive 

Airedale: An unattractive man 

Alarm clock: A chaperone 

All wet: Incorrect 

And how!: I strongly agree! 

Applesauce: Flattery, nonsense, i.e.. "Aw, applesauce!" 

Attaboy!: Well done!; also, Attagirl! 

B

Babe: Woman 

Baby: A person, can be said to either a man or a woman 

Bangtails: Racehorses 

Barber: Talk 

Be on the nut: To be broke 

Bean-shooter: Gun 

Beef: Problem 

Bee's Knees: An extraordinary person, thing or idea

Beezer: Nose 

Behind the eight ball: In a difficult position, in a tight spot 

Bent Cars: Stolen cars 

Big Cheese, Big Shot: The boss, someone of importance and influence 

Big House: Jail 

Big One: Death 

Big Sleep: Death 

Bim: Woman 

Bindle: The bundle in which a hobo carries all his worldly possessions 

Bindle punk or bindle stiff: Chronic wanderers, migratory harvest workers, and lumber jacks

Bing: Jailhouse talk for solitary confinement 

Bird: Man 

Bit: Prison sentence 

Blip off: To kill 

Blow: Leave 

Blow one down: Kill someone 

Blower: Telephone 

Bluenose: A prude

Bo: Pal, buster, fellow 

Boiler: Car 

Boob: Dumb guy 

Boozehound: Drunkard 

Bop: To kill 

Box: A safe or a bar 

Box job: A safecracking 

Brace (somebody): Grab, shake up 

Bracelets: Handcuffs 

Break it up: Stop that, quit the nonsense 

Breeze: To leave, breeze off: get lost 

Broad: Woman 

Bruno: Tough guy, enforcer 

Bucket: Car 

Bulge, The: The advantage 

Bulls: Plainclothes railroad cops; uniformed police; prison guards 

Bum's rush, To get the: To be kicked out 

Bump: Kill 

Bump Gums: To talk about nothing worthwhile 

Bump off: Kill; also, bump-off: a killing 

Burn powder: Fire a gun 

Bus: Big car 

Butter-and-egg-man: The money man, the man with the bankroll, a yokel who comes to town to blow a big wad in nightclubs 

Button: Face, nose, end of jaw 

Button man: Professional killer 

Buttons: Police 

Butts: Cigarettes 

Buzz: Looks person up, comes to persons door 

Buzzer: Policeman's badge 

C

C: $100, a pair of Cs = $200 

Cabbage: Money 

Caboose: Jail 

Call copper: Inform the police 

Can: Jail, Car 

Can house: Bordello 

Can-opener: Safecracker who opens cheap safes 

Canary: Woman singer 

Carry a Torch: Suffering from an unrequited love

Case dough: Nest egg 

Cat: Man 

Cat's Meow: Something splendid or stylish 

Cat's Pajamas: Term of endearment as in "I think you are really really cool"

Century: $100 

Cheaters: Sunglasses 

Cheese it: Put things away, hide 

Chew: Eat 

Chicago lightning: Gunfire 

Chicago overcoat: Coffin 

Chick: Woman 

Chilled off: Killed 

Chin: Conversation; chinning: talking 

Chin music: Punch on the jaw 

Chinese squeeze: Grafting by skimming profits off the top 

Chippy: Woman of easy virtue 

Chisel: To swindle or cheat 

Chiv: Knife, "a stabbing or cutting weapon" 

Chopper squad: Men with machine guns 

Chump: Person marked for a con or a gullible person

Clammed: Close-mouthed (clammed up) 

Clean sneak: An escape with no clues left behind 

Clip joint: In some cases, a nightclub where the prices are high and the patrons are fleeced 

Clipped: Shot 

Close your head: Shut up 

Clout: Shoplifter 

Clubhouse: Police station 

Con: Confidence game, swindle 

Conk: Head 

Cool: To knock out 

Cooler: Jail 

Cop: Detective, even a private one 

Copped, to be: Grabbed by the cops 

Copper: Policeman 

Corn: Bourbon ("corn liquor") 

Crab: Figure out 

Crate: Car 

Croak: To kill 

Croaker: Doctor 

Crush: An infatuation 

Crushed out: Escaped (from jail) 

Cut down: Killed 

D

Daisy: None too masculine 

Dame: Woman 

Dance: To be hanged 

Dangle: Leave, get lost 

Daylight, as in "fill him with daylight": Put a hole in, by shooting or stabbing 

Deck, as in "deck of Luckies": Pack of cigarettes 

Derrick: Shoplifter 

Dib: Share (of the proceeds) 

Dick: Detective (usually qualified with "private" if not a policeman) 

Dingus: Thing 

Dip: Pickpocket 

Dip the bill: Have a drink 

Dish: Pretty woman 

Dive: A low-down, cheap sort of place 

Dizzy with a dame, To be: To be deeply in love with a woman 

Do the dance: To be hanged 

Dogs: Feet 

Dope fiend: Drug addict 

Dope peddler: Drug dealer 

Dough: Money 

Drift: Go, leave 

Drill: Shoot 

Drop a dime: Make a phone call, sometimes meaning to the police to inform on someone 

Droppers: Hired killers 

Drum: Speakeasy 

Dry-gulch: Knock out, hit on head after ambushing 

Duck soup: Easy, a piece of cake 

Dummerer: Someone who pretends to be deaf and/or dumb to appear a more deserving beggar 

Dump: Roadhouse, club; or, more generally, any place 

Dust out: Leave, depart 

E

Egg: Man 

Electric cure: Electrocution 

Elephant ears: Police 

F

Fade: Go away, get lost 

Fakeloo artist: Con man 

Fella: A man 

Fin: $5 bill 

Finder: Finger man 

Finger, Put the finger on: Identify 

Flaming Youth: Male counterpart to a flapper

Flapper: A stylish, brash young woman with short skirts and shorter hair

Flat Tire: A dull-witted or disappointing date

Flattie: Flatfoot, cop 

Flimflam: Swindle 

Flippers: Hands 

Flivver: A Ford automobile 

Flogger: Overcoat 

Flop: Go to bed or fallen through, not worked out 

Flophouse: A cheap transient hotel where a lot of men sleep in large rooms 

Fog: To shoot 

Frail: Woman 

Frau: Wife 

Fry: To be electrocuted 

Fuzz: Police 

G

Gal: Woman 

Gams: A Woman’s Legs 

Gasper: Cigarette 

Gat: Gun 

Get Sore: Get mad 

Getaway sticks: Legs 

Giggle juice: Liquor 

Giggle Water: Liquor 

Gin mill: Bar 

Glad rags: Fancy clothes 

Glaum: Steal 

Goofy: Crazy 

Goog: Black eye 

Goon: Thug 

Gooseberry lay: Stealing clothes from a clothesline 

Gowed-up: On dope, high 

Grab (a little) air: Put your hands up 

Graft: Con jobs or cut of the take 

Grand: $1000 

Grift: Confidence game, swindle 

Grifter: Con man 

Grilled: Questioned 

Gumshoe: Detective 

Gumshoeing: Detective work 

Gun for: Look for, be after 

Guns: Pickpockets, Hoodlums 

Guy: A man 

H

Hack: Taxi 

Half, a: 50 cents 

Hard: Tough 

Harlem Sunset: Some sort fatal injury caused by knife 

Hash House: A cheap restaurant 

Hatchet men: Killers, gunmen 

Have the Bees: To be rich 

Head doctors: Psychiatrists 

Heap: Car 

Heat: Police 

Heater: Gun 

Heebie-Jeebies: The jitters

Heeled: Carrying a gun 

High-Hat: To snub 

High Pillow: Person at the top, in charge 

Highbinders: Corrupt politician or functionary 

Hinky: Suspicious 

Hitting the pipe: Smoking opium 

Hitting on all eight: In good shape, going well 

Hock shop: Pawnshop 

Hogs: Engines 

Hombre: Man, fellow 

Hooch: Liquor 

Hood: Criminal 

Hoofer: Dancer

Hoosegow: Jail 

Horn: Telephone 

Hot: Stolen 

Hotsy-Totsy: Pleasing

House dick: House/hotel detective 

House peeper: House/hotel detective 

Hype: Shortchange artist 

I

Ice : Diamonds 

Ing-bing, as in to throw an: A fit 

Iron: A car 

J

Jack: Money 

Jalopy: An old car

Jam: Trouble, a tight spot 

Jane: A woman 

Java: Coffee 

Jaw: Talk 

Jerking a nod: Nodding 

Jingle-brained: Addled 

Jobbie: Man 

Joe: Coffee, as in "a cup of joe" 

Johns: Police 

Johnson brother: Criminal 

Joint: Place, as in "my joint" 

Juice: Interest on a loanshark's loan 

Jug: Jail 

Jump, The: A hanging 

K

Kale: Money 

Keen: Attractive or appealing

Kick off: Die 

Kiss: To punch 

Kisser: Mouth 

Kitten: Woman 

Knock off: Kill 

L

Lammed off: Ran away, escaped 

Large: $1,000; twenty large would be $20,000 

Law, the: The police 

Lead, "fill ya full of lead": the term used for bullets 

Lead poisoning: To be shot 

Lettuce: Folding money 

Lid: Hat 

Line: Insincere flattery

Lip: (Criminal) lawyer 

Looker: Pretty woman 

Look-out: Outside man 

Lousy with: To have lots of 

M

Mac: A man 

Made: Recognized 

Map: Face 

Marbles: Pearls 

Mark: Sucker, victim of swindle or fixed game 

Maroon: Person marked for a con or a gullible person

Meat wagon: Ambulance 

Mickey Finn: A drink drugged with knock-out drops 

Mill: Typewriter 

Mitt: Hand 

Mob: Gang (not necessarily Mafia) 

Mohaska: Gun 

Moll: Girlfriend 

Monicker: Name 

Mouthpiece: Lawyer 

Mugs: Men (especially refers to dumb ones) 

N

Nailed: Caught by the police 

Nevada gas: Cyanide 

Newshawk: Reporter 

Newsie: Newspaper vendor 

Nibble one: To have a drink 

Nicked: Stole 

Nippers: Handcuffs 

Noodle: Head 

Number: A person 

O

Off the track: Said about a person who becomes insanely violent 

Op: Detective 

Orphan paper: Bad checks 

Out on the roof: To drink a lot, to be drunk 

Oyster fruit: Pearls 

P

Packing Heat: Carrying a gun 

Pal: A man 

Palooka: Man, probably not very smart 

Pan: Face 

Paste: Punch 

Patsy: Person who is set up; fool, chump 

Paw: Hand 

Peaching: Informing 

Peeper: Detective 

Peepers: Eyes 

Pen: Penitentiary, jail 

Peterman: Safecracker who uses nitroglycerin 

Piece: Gun 

Pigeon: Stool-pigeon 

Pinch: An arrest, capture 

Pins: Legs 

Pipe: See or notice 

Pipes: Throat 

Plant: Someone on the scene but in hiding, Bury 

Plug: Shoot 

Plugs: People 

Poke: Bankroll, stake 

Pooped: Killed 

Pop: Kill 

Pro skirt: Prostitute 

Puffing: Mugging 

Pug: Pugilist, boxer 

Pump: Heart 

Pump metal: Shoot bullets 

Punk: Hood, thug 

Pushover: A person easily convinced of something

Puss: Face 

Put down: Drink 

Put the screws on: Question, get tough with 

R

Rags: Clothes 

Ranked: Observed, watched, given the once-over 

Rap: Criminal charge 

Rappers: Fakes, set-ups 

Rat: Inform 

Rate: To be good, to count for something 

Rats and mice: Dice, i.e. craps 

Rattler: Train 

Red-light: To eject from a car or train 

Redhot: Some sort of criminal 

Reefers: Marijuana cigarettes 

Rhino: Money 

Right: Adjective indicating quality 

Ringers: Fakes 

Ritzy: Elegant 

Rod: Gun 

Roscoe: Gun 

Rub-out: A killing 

Rube: Bumpkin, easy mark 

Rumble, the: The news 

S

Sap: A dumb guy 

Sap poison: Getting hit with a sap 

Savvy: Get me? Understand? 

Sawbuck: $10 bill (a double sawbuck is a $20 bill) 

Schnozzle: Nose 

Scram out: Leave 

Scratch: Money 

Scratcher: Forger 

Send over: Send to jail 

Shamus: (Private) detective 

Sharper: A swindler or sneaky person 

Sheba: A woman with sex appeal 

Sheik: A man with sex appeal 

Shells: Bullets 

Shiv: Knife 

Shylock: Loanshark 

Shyster: Lawyer 

Sing: Make a confession 

Sister: Woman 

Skate around: To be of easy virtue 

Skid rogue: A bum who can't be trusted 

Skirt: Woman 

Slant, Get a: Take a look 

Sleuth: Detective 

Slug: A bullet or to knock unconscious 

Smoked: Drunk 

Snap a cap: Shout 

Snatch: Kidnap 

Sneeze: Take 

Snitch: An informer, or to inform 

Snooper: Detective 

Speakeasy: An illicit bar selling bootleg liquor 

Spiffy: Looking elegant 

Soak: To pawn 

Sock: Punch 

Soup: Nitroglycerine 

Soup job: To crack a safe using nitroglycerine 

Spill: Talk, inform 

Spinach: Money 

Spitting: Talking 

Square: Honest 

Squeeze: A female companion or girlfriend

Squirt metal: Shoot bullets 

Step off: To be hanged 

Stiff: A corpse 

Sting: Culmination of a con game 

Stool-pigeon: Informer 

Stoolie: Stool-pigeon 

Stuck On: Having a crush on 

Sucker: Someone ripe for a grifter's scam 

Sugar: Money 

Swanky: Ritzy 

Swell: Wonderful 

T

Tail: Shadow or follow 

Take a powder: Leave 

Take on: Eat 

Take for a Ride: Drive off with someone in order to bump them off 

Take the air: Leave 

Take the bounce: To get kicked out 

Take the fall for: Accept punishment for 

That's the crop: That's all of it 

Three-spot: Three-year jail term 

Throw lead: Shoot bullets 

Ticket: P.I. license 

Tiger milk: Some sort of liquor 

Tighten the screws: Put pressure on somebody 

Tin: Badge 

Tip a few: To have a few drinks 

Tomato: Pretty woman 

Tooting the wrong ringer: Asking the wrong person 

Torpedoes: Gunmen 

Trap: Mouth 

Trigger man: Man whose job is to use a gun 

Trouble boys: Gangsters 

Twist: Woman 

Two bits: $25, or 25 cents 

U

Under glass: In jail 

W

Weak sister: A push-over 

Wear iron: Carry a gun 

Wise head: A smart person 

Wooden kimono: A coffin 

Wop: derogatory term for an Italian 

Worker, as in "She sizes up as a worker": A woman who takes a guy for his money 

Wrong gee: Not a good fellow 

Wrong number: Not a good fellow 

Y

Ya Follow: do you understand? 

Yap: Mouth 

Yard: $100 

Yegg: Safecracker who can only open cheap and easy safes 

Z

Zotzed: Killed

Zozzled: Drunk