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gosayurichan · 5 years ago

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Snikt family... what???

Sooo I just today discovered that Wolverine has kids and I’m shoooked.

Seriously, all my exposure to him came from X-men:TAS, X-men:Evolution and all x-men movies and now, the new Hickman spearheaded X-men comics (I think, just like a lot other people, I was to afraid to delve into the complicated X history and this “reboot” made it easier) and in all of that the only one mentioned was Laura and suddenly there is so much more and I’m like...

So, from what I figured there is:

1) Erista: a baby boy than now may not be a baby but an adult that faded in comics history(?)

2) Daken Akihiro: a trash bi murder son that hates Wolverine (cause Romulus I think?), has an ungodly affinity for fine clothes and fine wine and adores his younger sisters?

3) Laura Kinney: Logan’s clone and Sarah Kinney daughter, Logan’s favorite, stabby, mature, again loves her siblings (Daken and Gabby)

4) Bellona Kinney: one of Laura’s clones that faded in comic history like Erista (at least she wasn’t killed like Zelda)

5) Zelda: dead

6) Gabby Kinney: another Laura clone and the sweetest one in the fam, loves her siblings, took on the alias “Honey Badger” because Daken proposed it, owns a pet Wolverine named Jonathan

7) James “Jimmy” Hudson: blond, good son of Wolverine and some woman I can’t remember, rather bland?

8) Raze Darkholme: Logan’s and Raven’s kid, has both their powers, comes from future and wanted to kill Logan (I see a pattern here)

9) Torrent: an au Logan/Ororo kid that has mom’s weather powers and dad’s healing factor

10) And a group of 5 murdery human children that wanted to kill Logan but he offed them and then gave them a proper burial with their mothers when he realized they are his kids...

Am I missing any? I know there is one foster girl Amiko and everyone says that Jubillee and Armor are as good as his kids. Is that true? Or am I misinterpreting something? Is this really so freaking crazy??? (I mean I love big fam units (Bats, Supes, Arrows, Atlanteans fam itd) but this are JUST HIS KIDS wtf)

My head hurts from trying to understand that lol

I know I would love to know them (especially Daken, Laura, Gabby, Raze and Torrent) so if any of you have any recommendations where to start I would love to hear them!

(Oh My F***ing God, There Are So Many Of Them o.O)

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callmewynchan · 6 years ago

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Womb to Tomb.

1.Steve Rogers would be lucky to live to twenty.

Steve Rogers would be lucky to live to thirty.

Steve Rogers would be lucky to live to forty.

Sometimes, Steve Rogers thought that he should probably live to a hundred and fifty, just to spite the doctors who deduced that he would have about five to ten more years of life expectancy.

They said he would die young, and he said otherwise. He was gonna grow up and marry his best friend and adopt ten puppies and live out of sheer stubborn will.

'Sheer stubborn will and friendship.That was all he had going for him.'

Or maybe it wasn't just the stubbornness. Maybe the super soldier serum had to do something with it.

The super soldier serum had to do with everything, or else he wouldn't be stuck in the 21st century like a flabbergasted puppy(see above) in the middle of New York Traffic.

2.Being stuck in the middle of New York traffic was not Steve's fault. Neither was the alien attack. Neither was wrecking almost half of New York-okay, that was partly his fault, his and the avengers. But well, what could you do.

He was stuck out of time with no way of getting back to 'home' (and really he doubted home existed anymore.), and all he had now was 70 years of backpay from his bank account and a shield issued apartment and a floor in the newly christened avengers tower.

Damn it all, he didn't want any of that-maybe aside from the apartment. He just wanted to retire and live out the rest of his life in relative peace.But that couldn't be, because peace had been left behind in the last century and all he had now were shield issued therapists asking "How's adjustment going, Captain Rogers?"

Adjustment was going fine. Of course it was, taking it from someone who crashed a plane into the Arctic and woke up wishing he was dead.

3. He wished he was dead. Sometimes. When he woke up in the middle of the night and he thought that he was still in a tent in the middle of Ww2 and Bucky was fast asleep against his back. And then he washed his face and looked in the mirror and realised that Bucky was gone, he had been gone since that fiasco of a mission to the Alps and all his dreams of a nice suburban life had been washed down the metaphorical drain.

At least it was some consolation that the LGBT community was less looked down upon in this century and maybe some other Steve and some other Bucky somewhere out there could have their nice happy ending.

A happy ending wasn't for this Steve. This Steve had nothing left but the serum and the good fight. And so he could do nothing but fight. He had to pick up his shield and carry on like everything was alright.

It wasn't.

4. He had always had Bucky. Even when he had nothing, he had Bucky.

Bucky was the one constant in his life among a midst of sickness and asthma and bruises and all kinds of other troubles a 1940s brooklyn boy could have. Steve had nothing, in that period between Sarah Rogers death-bless her soul-and Captain America, and yet he still had something, could still pick himself up because he had Bucky.

There was no before, nor after. There was just Bucky. And so, it shouldn't come off as a surprise that Captain America dropped his shield through a hole in the bottom of a crashing helicarrier and let his best friend turned pyscho assassin punch the shit outta him.

'I'll be with you till the end of the line.' Bucky had promised, like they were some old couple getting married with rings twisted from tuna cans. And if the metaphorical end of the line meant getting slapped black and blue like meat in a sack, then so be it.

"I'm with you till the end of the line." Steve Rogers told the Winter Soldier, and in that moment, he could see Bucky shining through the horror in his gaze, and he could have died right then, right there, because Bucky was there and he recognized him.

5.Bucky Barnes was the winter soldier. The winter soldier was Bucky Barnes. They were the same, and different, and frankly Steve didn't really care. Because that was what 'the end of the line meant'. He wouldn't care if Bucky was an assassin, or had no memories, or even some kind of fish monster with a mouth for a head(that he wasn't). He would still take the chance to get his friend, lover, Patrocles to his Achilles back, because Bucky was here, in this time and age, and maybe 'home' wasn't lost in a ravine in the last century after all.

"Man. I think you're obsessed." Sam tells him after his gazillionth 2am phone call to cry and vent. Steve doesn't deny it, and Sam doesn't not sympathize,and if the two of them buy way too much takeout and beer and just drown their sorrows, then its fine. Because Sam understands him(Riley, right?)

If Steve punches Hydra agents with more force than is needed, its also fine, because he can be sure that Bucky is on his own murder massacre field trip through Hydra bases on the other side of that world. (Well, either that, or visiting the Grand Canyon.)

Bucky rambles about newspapers in Steve's shoes when they find him, when Steve was expecting a cold wasteland of a person with stabby stabby instincts. Bucky laughs at him instead, looking way too haunted, and Steve wanted to give him a kiss that was long overdue (like that dance he owed Peggy.), but Sam was there, and that kiss could wait a bit longer, until after those damned Accords went to hell.

6.The Accords went to hell. The Avengers went to hell. Steve wasn't sure if there was any part of his life that did 'not' go to hell.

Bucky. Maybe Bucky. But apparently there was a flip switch in his best guy's brain that turned him back into a assassin, and that ended up with Steve, Bucky, Sam on one side of a airport, and Tony, Rhodey and Vision on the other.

Either you take your best friend, or you take your team. You could never have both.

'Brooklyn alley fights were never this traumatic.' Steve bemoaned when they were in a jet heading for Siberia and Bucky was going like 'Am I worth all this' and the friends that had not abandoned them were in a prison in the middle of literal no where.

Bucky was worth all this.He reflected as he flung his shield and his name down at Iron Man's feet and walked away. He was worth everything Steve could give him and more.

Steve Rogers was not Captain America. Steve Rogers was that 90 pound asthmatic from Brooklyn who had luck and a best friend named Bucky Barnes.

7.Bucky goes back into cyrofreeze, and Steve thinks he should have expected it. Steve had a 70 year long coma in the Arctic, and Bucky had had a couple of naps in a box, and Bucky hated getting woken up, like 'Stevie go away, it's too early for this shit.'

Bucky goes back into cyrofreeze, and Steve's okay with that, even though it means he'll miss Bucky when he goes on missions without him. But when he wakes up, they can skype all they like and he can watch Bucky exclaim' Do you know they have flying cars now? '

' Those are pods. 'Shuri deadpans in the background.

Then war comes back around way too quickly, and Steve reunites with his best friend-lover-what even are they now just to face another fight. Steve and Bucky, against the world, like it used to be in the old times.Only this time, they were not side by side and Bucky was hefting a machine gun with one hand and a-was that a raccoon-with the other and Steve was playing 'I can do this all day' with a big purple alien with a hoard of jewels.

Thor didn't aim for the head, and Thanos snaps his fingers, and Steve wasn't blaming anyone but himself when Bucky disappears before his eyes with a 'Steve' on his lips. This was deja vu, like 'home' dropping away into a ravine in the alps.

This was deja vu, because 'home' was dust on the ground of a Wakandan battlefield and once again there was no body for him to cry over.

They never had that kiss, did they.

8. Steve mourned. Bucky was gone and Sam was gone and half of the world was gone and he-they had failed.

The Avengers were supposed to protect the world, and they had done such a great job of that. Not.

He was mourning, and in a state of on off depression, nevermind the fact that he headed a therapy group that was supposed to tell people to move on. He couldn't move on, and neither could any of them-except for Tony, who still had Pepper and a kid in some countryside. Nat was still running missions as far as he knew, Bruce was MIA, Clint was MIA, Thor was sulking in a hovel, and anybody who was not missing or sulking was trying their best to stay calm and rebuild.

This was what had become of the Avengers and co. And he was damn pleased when Scott Lang showed up with his theories and a ravening hunger for sandwiches and beat some hope into all of them.

9. Time Travel was their best bet. And it kind of worked, if they did not mess up, again.

They sent everyone out, and Steve and Tony nearly fucked things up for good. There was a loki running around in an alternative timeline, a Hydra that thought Cap was Hydra, and a Cap that knew Bucky was alive.

"We got one more chance." Tony tells him, all that seriously, and Steve feels like he had gotten slammed by a brick wall(he had a lot of experience) when he sees Peggy back in the 1970s, with a photo of 90 pound him on her desk and a photo of her family next to that. Peggy had moved on and was married and had gotten a life and maybe Steve should think about doing the same when they figured everything out.

When they figured everything out, it became another war, because somehow Thanos from another timeline had hacked onto their ride back to their timeline and Steve was so tired of fighting. But maybe the fight would be worth it, just another 'I can do this all day' with a broken shield and thor's hammer, when those that had been dusted charged through glowing magic wormholes and back onto the plane of existence.

And there was Bucky, with his metal arm and machine gun and that look that said 'Steve, you did a load of stupid things when I was gone, didn't you?' And Steve thought that all the stupid things they had done were worth it, because the world was saved and Thanos's armies were gone and there were no more Mad Titans in this timeline.

Iron Man-No, Tony Stark was gone.

Bucky and Steve were both alive, and this was the end of an era.

10. There was a funeral, and all that came after that. Steve was tasked with taking the stones back to whereth they came from, and as always, Bucky was by his side.

They were in the Howling Commandos together, they found this century together and like that museum exhibit said-'Inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield.', so hell if Steve was doing this alone.

Steve said his goodbyes and Sam was like 'Don't pick too many fights, man.' with that unknowing glint in his eye that said he'll be seeing them in 5 seconds.

It would be five seconds for Sam, and for Steve and Bucky-Mind Stone, Space Stone, Time Stone, Reality Stone, Power stone, Soul stone(Hello, Schmidt.), Brooklyn.

Steve was sure that Sam would have fits when he found Steve's shield and a letter in a cardboard box right outside Sam's room. Bucky had scoffed into the crook of Steve's neck when he told him what he had done and Bucky said 'It's a wonder Sam puts up with you, with all the dumb things you do.'

Steve was even surer that Sam would had some sort of heart attack when he turned around to see Steve and Bucky sitting on a bench not far away from the Time travel point, all old and gray and wrinkled and cryptic messenger of the lord like.

But it was worth it. Because this was the end of a era and Steve and Bucky could go home after the long, long war and have their happy ending with tin can rings and ten puppies.

They could wake up to 1950s mornings and vinyl music and alley fights and smoke tasting kisses and Steve stepping on Bucky toes when they danced in their apartment. And one day, he would definitely wake up to Bucky groaning. 'Stevie, you have white hair. You're getting old.' and that would be all he wanted in life.

He would live to a hundred and fifty just to spite the doctors in his youth. He would live to a hundred and fifty with Bucky just to spite all the things that pushed them down.

Captain America was a legend. The Winter Soldier was a ghost story.

Steve and Bucky were just best friends, lovers, on schoolyard to the battlefield to the future and back again.

From womb to tomb, they were just two Brooklyn boys, lost in time.

P. S. Name inspired by this fic on ao3. Content inspired by the gazillions of Post- Endgame fics, bc really the ending for Steve and Bucky was not so great and completely ooc.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #starbucks #avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #marvel mcu

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woodygaythrie · 7 years ago

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I Checked into a Psych Ward (and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt)

So, for the past 4 days or so, I’ve been in the psychiatric facility at a local hospital. I was there because I confided in my therapist that I had made a plan to kill myself last Sunday and, although I did not go through with it, I was worried I might try to go through with it again. She gave me the choice of going there voluntarily or being taken involuntarily by an ambulance with police involved. I chose to go voluntarily.

Being there was an overwhelming experience, and I am partly writing this to help me process it all. I also writing this so people who might end up in this situation will know what it could potentially be like. Although I talk about a lot of negatives, I am not trying to discourage anyone from getting help or even checking in to a psychiatric hospital (it did help me, in some ways). I am simply talking about my experience.

When I got to the behavioral health center (what they euphemistically call themselves), I was made to give up most of my possessions, to be returned to me when I left. They took my Magen David necklace (which was emotional for me and I found it hard to part with), my notebook (spiral bound; I guess someone could try to off themselves with the wire), my pens (obviously stabby), and my phone (I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would). They let me keep my clothes, deodorant. and my book (a book of poems by Leonard Cohen) and that’s about it.

I started out on “level 1” which was for the more “acute” cases, and eventually graduated to “level 2” for more “high functioning” patients. My level 1 room was bare except for a couple beds and nightstands (all bolted to the floor). The first day I was there, I just stayed in my room and slept. I only came out for meals. This seems to be a common trend among newly arrived patients; my two roommates in level 2 both spent their first days in bed and sometimes did not even come out for meals. One of my roommates, who I’ll call Sarah, spent most of this time crying and being out of it on the Ativan the doctors prescribed her. She was upset because her niece discovered her after she took an entire bottle of Klonopin and tried to drown in the pool at her sister’s house. Sarah felt immensely guilty and was convinced her family hated her now. The hospital’s solution seemed to be to pump more drugs into her and keep her in a sedated state.

When I checked in, I listed my name as Ian and my gender as male, as I figured my reason for hospitalization has nothing to do with my reproductive anatomy. The morning after I checked in, a woman from the insurance department came into my room to sternly lecture me about using my “actual” name and told me I had to go by my legal name while there. She was pretty rude and talked to me like I was a child who was stubbornly demanding ice cream. I was so angry and I felt so powerless, that I started crying. She then backpedaled and told me that I could still have the staff call me Ian, as long as I used my legal name on documents. They changed my name on the whiteboard (visible to everyone) to Alexandra, with “Ian” in quotation marks in tiny letters beside it. Staff continued to call me Ian but used she/her pronouns for me almost exclusively. If I was in a group with a few women, they would address us as “ladies”. My patient armband both used my full legal name and listed me as “F” for female. The doctors on staff clearly didn’t understand enough about transgender issues to treat a transgender patient with respect; the psychiatrist I was assigned to was clearly uncomfortable with it. I was also placed in a room with female roommates, because “of course” I couldn’t be placed with male roommates. Being constantly misgendered in a place I could not leave made me feel exhausted and humiliated. There were individual nurses and patients who were really good about not misgendering me, but they were very much the minority.

Another thing that made the hospital stay weird was the pressure to performatively “improve” in order to leave as quickly as possible. Although technically the hospital can only hold you for 72 hours, they can submit a request to keep you longer (up to 3 weeks longer) if the doctor believes you are still in need of hospitalization. By my second day, I became aware that I needed to act like I was improving rapidly in order to get released on time. I started showing up to group therapy sessions (there were about 3 per day), which were mostly unhelpful, just so it would seem like I was going through treatment. I would tell every doctor, nurse, and social worker that I was feeling fine (fine enough to go home, but not too good so as to not make my exaggeration obvious). Everyone seemed to do this to some degree; the unwritten rule seemed to be “bullshit your way out of this hellhole. Tell the staff what they want to hear.”

The whole time I was there made me feel like I was back in Kindergarten. We had set times for eating and going outside, and we were not allowed to do those things outside of the specified time. Even when we were allowed to do these things, we had to be supervised by a nurse at all times. There were certain places we weren’t allowed to go (laundry, showers, etc) without a nurse’s permission. I’m surprised they let me piss without making me ask a nurse to hold my hand while I do it. There was something incredibly funny and sad about a nurse telling a group of depressed adults, ages ranging from 18 to 70-something, that “it’s snack time!” in a sing-songy voice.

Overall, I feel like being hospitalized did help me somewhat; it got me back on my medication and allowed me some time away from everyday stressors, but it did feel like those everyday stressors were replaced with new ones unique to being in a hospital with very limited autonomy and an inability to leave when you desire.

#suicide tw #transphobia tw #personal #hospitals

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