#'ITS MUFFIN TIME' but ITS RAINBOW/PRIDE TIME

[harperaccount]

Evilin: Guys, I know this looks really bad but I promise it's not what you think it is Snow and red: why are you wearing all Rainbow clothes? I thought you hated Rainbows? Evilin is there something you want to tell us? Evilin: I CAN HEXPLAIN!!1

[wren-of-the-woods]

This Accident and Flood of Fortune

Lizzy and William are looking forward to a quiet date watching their sisters perform in Twelfth Night — but when they discover that George Wickham is waiting in the wings, they must use Lizzy’s wits and their combined nerdery to help William get his revenge. Or: In which Lizzy comes up with a scheme, and even Shakespeare would be proud of the chaos that ensues.

This was written by @bloodsoaked-rainbows and I for @friendoftrees! It's the third installment in our Pride & Prejudice series Once Upon a Text, though it should be readable on its own. It's about 3k of silliness and can also be read on AO3 here!

~

Lizzy is finally going to see William again.

It has been over a week since their first date, and while they have managed to keep up their habit of texting regularly, the chaos of the holidays (and the inevitable Collins-avoiding that entailed) have kept them from being able to meet in person since that fateful day. Fortunately, their sisters have given them a way to escape their respective houses. 

The two of them are meeting at a public rendition of a Shakespeare play in which both Mary and William’s sister Georgiana will be performing. It should be highly enjoyable, or at least entertaining; it’s hard to do a performance of Twelfth Night without making somebody laugh. After the play, they plan to spend some time on their own, but at this point Lizzy thinks that she’d be satisfied to see William in any circumstances. Being stuck with her family throughout the holidays has started to make her feel mildly insane.

Her phone buzzes with yet another notification from its messages app. The Bennet Family Group Chat has been very active this morning, to no one’s surprise.

Lizzy checks the notification and rolls her eyes. 

Bennet Family Group Chat

Trouble 1: sooo lizzy are you excited for your ✨date✨

Typical Lydia behavior. The name Lizzy added as her contact has never proved to be inaccurate. Lizzy barely has time to sigh before her phone buzzes with another notification as Kitty and their mother chime in, and it hardly takes a minute for the chaos to spread to the rest of their family.

Bennet Family Group Chat

Trouble 2: OOH YEAH👀

Mama Goose: i hope you don’t scare him away to soon!

MaryBerry: *too

Mama Goose: he’s quite rich, you know

Father Goose: We know.

As usual, Jane comes to Lizzy’s rescue as the only sane one in the mess that was their group chat.

muffin: Just be nice to poor Lizzy, for heaven’s sake! She’s probably nervous enough

Lizzy: Thanks, Jane You’re my favorite Hope you and Charles have a good time at the play, too

Trouble 1: HEY favorite???? rUde

Trouble 2: :((

Lizzy: <3

Lizzy closes her phone and resolutely ignores the notifications that continue to flash across its screen. She has more important people to talk to than her family, after all. 

~

Lizzy gets to the theater with minimal trouble and, after she greets William with an enthusiastic hug, they go to find their seats. Jane and Charles are here as well, but they have settled in an opposite corner of the theater and are completely wrapped up in each other, so Lizzy thinks she will have William to herself today. 

“I trust you have been well since our last meeting?” asks William, completely genuine like the outdated dork he is. Lizzy cannot help but smile.

Lizzy sits down as they talk. William settles beside her. “I’ve been fine. A bit frazzled, but you already knew that from our texts.”

“I understand the feeling. I currently live with Caroline Bingley.”

Lizzy grimaces. “That must be unpleasant.”

William nods gravely. “There is little escape.”

“Oh! Fitzwilliam, dear!” calls a terribly, horribly familiar voice. “Fancy seeing you here! What a surprise.”

William sighs. “Speak of the devil.”

A dog barks as though in agreement. Lizzy turns to see Caroline Bingley, dressed to her usual ostentatious standards. In a flowery handbag, she carries the smallest, most absurd little poodle that Lizzy has seen in her entire life. Its curly white fur is shaved on most of its body coiffed neatly on top of its head and on the tip of its tail. In both places, it is finished off by a lacy pink ribbon tied in a bow. Lizzy is simultaneously awed by its absurdity and utterly unsurprised by Caroline’s idiocy. 

“Hello, Caroline,” says William tiredly. 

“I cannot wait to see our dear Georgiana perform,” says Caroline, flouncing closer.

“Nor can I,” William says unenthusiastically. 

There is an empty seat beside William. Caroline’s intentions are clear. Lizzy looks around in panic.

“How about we go sit over there, William?” she asks with false cheer, pointing at two empty seats surrounded by other strangers. “There’ll be a better view of Georgiana’s entrance, don’t you think?”

“What a fabulous idea,” William says, standing up. 

They hurriedly make their escape, leaving a somewhat confused Caroline and poodle behind. 

~

The play begins only a few moments later, and Lizzy sits back, enjoying the familiar opening lines of Twelfth Night as they are spoken across the stage. 

“If music be the food of love, play on,” William whispers into her ear, quoting along with the actor playing Duke Orsino. “Give me excess of it; that surfeiting, / The appetite may sicken, and so die.”

Lizzy giggles quietly. “Do you know the whole play?”

“Only most of it,” says William with a smile.

They quiet down and watch as the play begins to unfold. When Georgiana makes her entrance as a storm-disheveled Viola, William catches her eye and gives her a thumbs up. Lizzy thinks she sees Georgiana smile before she returns her attention to her role. 

Everything is going wonderfully, in short— right up until the middle of the next scene. 

When a handsome young man emerges onto the stage as Sir Andrew, Lizzy feels William go worryingly tense beside her. 

“Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch?” cries the man. Lizzy thinks he is doing a rather good job of capturing the silliness of the role, but when she glances at William, he looks horrified.

“What’s wrong?” she whispers to him as Sir Andrew banters with the other characters. 

“I know that man,” William says quietly. Lizzy is rather concerned to note that his words sound more like a growl than a whisper. 

“Who? Sir Andrew?”

“His name is George Wickham.”

Lizzy’s eyes widen. She knows about William’s childhood friend and the way he had betrayed William by attempting to gain more than his fair share of William’s father’s inheritance and generally being an asshole. 

“That’s him? I thought you hadn’t seen him for years!”

“I haven’t,” says William grimly. “I have no idea why he’s here.”

“Why would he be playing Sir Andrew, of all people?” asks Lizzy as Sir Andrew — Wickham, apparently — pretends not to understand French.

William’s eyes go wide. “Fuck.”

Lizzy doesn’t think she’s ever heard her boyfriend curse in the entire time she’s known him. “What?”

“Georgiana’s been talking about a charming friend she made in theater. A friend named George.”

“Do you think he’s trying to befriend your sister to get revenge on you?”

“It’s certainly possible.”

Lizzy considers this. Onstage, Wickham and the other actors make their exit. 

“Shit,” she agrees. 

As they sit there, reeling, Georgiana enters the stage again. Her character, Viola, has now disguised herself as a man. Lizzy blinks. In this costume, Georgiana looks startlingly like her brother. 

Lizzy thinks about their new conundrum. She thinks about the play. She thinks about how the plot proceeds from here. She turns to William. 

“I have a brilliant idea.”

~

“This is a stupid plan,” William grumbles as Lizzy pushes him in the direction of Mary, who had managed to escape her place backstage and bring out a costume. 

“It’ll be great,” says Lizzy. “Trust me. I’ve been texting Mary and we figured the whole thing out.”

“And Mary is fine with this?” William asks doubtfully.

“Completely,” says Lizzy, conveniently failing to mention the part where she had offered a thirty-dollar Barnes & Noble gift card as a bribe.

“And the rest of the cast?”

“Absolutely on board,” says Lizzy confidently. She had promised them some of Jane’s cookies. “Just get changed and wait for the right moment.” 

“You’re going to owe me if this goes wrong,” William mutters darkly.

“And me,” Mary says, handing William the costume.

“Nothing is going to go wrong,” Lizzy says, grinning confidently.

She shoves William in the direction of the bathroom and hurries back to her seat before anyone can get suspicious about her absence. 

~

The play continues. Mary makes her entrance as Lady Olivia, looking commendably unruffled by the sudden change in plans backstage. They perform well, and for a few moments, Lizzy happily loses herself in the play and forgets about her nerves and her glee about her plan. 

Then things are set into motion. 

At the beginning of act two, it is revealed that Georgiana’s character, Viola, has a twin brother named Sebastian who survived the shipwreck in which everyone assumed he had met his demise. The actor who walks onstage at the beginning of the scene, conversing emphatically with his friend Antonio, is not the person who was originally cast. In fact, the actor who was going to play Sebastian has made his way into the audience, sitting next to Caroline Bingley. He is petting the poodle.

Onstage, the character is instead portrayed by a very wet William Darcy. 

“By your patience, no,” says William gravely. His voice is deep and carries well throughout the theater. “My stars shine darkly over me. The malignancy of my fate might perhaps distemper yours; therefore I shall crave of you your leave, that I may bear my evils alone. It were a bad recompense for your love, to lay any of them on you.”

William’s character has boots that are almost knee-high and a flowing white shirt with long sleeves. He has just survived a shipwreck, and as such, he is wet and disheveled. He is, in short, gorgeous. 

Lizzy hears a distant shriek that she assumes is Caroline Bingley. She feels rather similar. She realizes that she may have made a slight miscalculation. There is only one flaw in her genius plan. At the end of the play, Sebastian will marry Lady Olivia, which means that William will have to pretend to marry Mary. If he is going to look like this the whole time, Lizzy does not think she would be able to stand that. 

She watches him onstage. She thinks. She is interrupted when her phone buzzes.

Bennet Family Group Chat

muffin: LIZZY WHY IS WILLIAM ONSTAGE

Trouble 2: he’s WHAT

Mother Goose: i thought it was his sister who’s int he play

MaryBerry: *in the

Trouble 1: Lizzy WHAT IS GOING ON PLEASE TELL ME

Lizzy: It’s fine guys don’t worry

muffin: THAT DOESN’T CLARIFY ANYTHING

Lizzy: We have a plan It’s fine

muffin: What kind of plan could possibly require him to be IN THE PLAY

Lizzy: Remember when i told you about his childhood friend’s betrayal The friend is in the play He’s Sir Andrew

muffin: His childhood nemesis is Sir Andrew??

Lizzy: NO The actor

muffin: oh

Trouble 1: oOoOo

Father Goose: ???

Lizzy: Anyway y’know how in twelfth night there’re multiple duels In one of them the character Sebastian fights Wickham’s character

Trouble 1: OOOOO

Lizzy: So William is playing Sebastian now And he’ll have an excuse to beat Wickham’s ass :D

muffin: LIZZY LIZZY THIS IS PROBABLY UNETHICAL

Father Goose: Excellent scheming. I approve

Lizzy: Thanks dad <3

Lizzy sighs and puts her phone away. She looks back at William. He is still as unfairly handsome as he was before. He knows all the lines and is delivering them flawlessly because he is, deep down in his heart, beneath all the brooding and handsomeness, a complete and utter nerd. After a moment, he exits the stage with Antonio and the next scene begins. 

Lizzy heaves a sigh of relief at the success of the first part of their plan. Now all William has to do is hide backstage between his scenes and keep Wickham from noticing until their plan comes to fruition. 

Ignoring the notifications still coming from her family’s group chat, she opens her Discord conversation with William. 

TheWittyFool: good job out there babe!!!! TheWittyFool: you did great <3

Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: I’m hiding behind a barrel right now. Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: I think Mary is laughing at me. Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: I am so wet

TheWittyFool: rip

Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: I’m remembering why I never got into theatre. Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: Oh no Georgiana is back Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: She saw me

TheWittyFool: 🫡TheWittyFool: good luck lol TheWittyFool: maybe explain that her friend is actually an asshole?

Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: Now? Really?

TheWittyFool: i mean it’s better than later

Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: I guess Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: Wish me luck

TheWittyFool: gl :D

Goodnight_Sweet_Prince: D:

Lizzy’s Discord goes silent. It shows William as offline, presumably explaining things to his sister, so she puts her phone away again. She leans back in her seat. She watches the comedy unfolding on the stage. She thinks about the fact that, despite their vastly different personalities, she and Mary actually look fairly similar to each other. 

 After a moment, she opens her phone. 

Bennet Family Group Chat

Lizzy: I have another brilliant idea

MaryBerry: Oh no.

Lizzy: :)

~

“I can’t believe you convinced me to do this,” Mary sighs as she helps lace the back of Lizzy’s costume.

“I mean, you’ll get seventy dollars at Barnes & Noble out of it,” says Lizzy. “Seems like a pretty good deal to me. Besides, you can do the rest of the play in the next few performances.”

“This whole situation is absurd,” Mary continues, ignoring Lizzy. 

Lizzy ignores her in turn, flipping through the copy of Twelfth Night the actor playing Sir Toby had lent her and muttering lines to herself. When the costume is on properly, Mary sighs and leaves her be. She is typing something on her phone. Lizzy assumes the group chat is dissolving into further chaos. She does not care. 

Satisfied that she knows the part well enough, she puts the play aside and turns to peek at the performance from her place backstage. William is on the stage. It is the first scene of act four. Soon, the moment of truth will arrive. 

Indeed, after only a few minutes, Wickham makes his entrance onto the stage. Lizzy relishes the look of complete and utter shock on his face when he recognizes William. He stumbles. He opens and closes his mouth. His face goes pale. For a moment, Lizzy thinks he is going to completely abandon his part, but he recovers after a long minute of silence. 

“N- now, sir, have I met you again?” Wickham stutters after a moment. “There’s for you!”

Wickham attempts to glare at William threateningly. William is glowering at him, looking for all the world as though he actually intends to duel him to the death. 

Wickham takes a deep breath — Lizzy assumes he is trying desperately to remember his blocking — before he walks forward and slaps William in the face. 

William raises one eyebrow. He draws his fake dagger. He scowls, and then, like a striking panther, he lunges forward. 

“Why, there’s for thee,” he cries, striking Wickham in the stomach with the hilt of his dagger. “And there” —a hit to his side— “and there!”

As he delivers the final words, William gives him a blow to the shoulder that sends Wickham sprawling on the floor. 

“Are all the people mad?” growls William, and Lizzy swears she hears Wickham whimper. 

Another character, Sir Toby, intervenes in the fight. The actor appears genuinely concerned. “Hold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the house!” 

One character delivers a line and exits the stage. Lizzy winks at him, and he stifles a laugh. 

Onstage, the actor playing Sir Toby takes William’s arm and holds him back. William is glaring daggers at Wickham, who is just now returning to his feet.

“Come on, sir, hold!” says the actor.

“Nay, let him alone,” Wickham pants, clutching his side. “I’ll go another way to work with him; I’ll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that.”

“Let go thy hand!” William snarls at the remaining actor, Sir Toby.

The character begins to protest, but before he can finish his line, William breaks free and draws his fake sword. Sir Toby says a few lines and draws his own sword, but Lizzy is no longer paying attention. Her turn has almost come.  

Taking a deep breath, she enters the stage as Olivia. 

“Hold, Toby,” she cries. “On thy life I charge thee hold!”

Everyone turns. The actors all stare at her, blinking. There are varying levels of shock on their faces. William’s eyes are very wide. 

“Madam—” says Sir Toby’s poor actor weakly.

“Will it ever be thus? Ungracious wretch,” she says, glaring directly at Wickham.

She launches into a series of insults until all the actors except William slink from the stage, then proceeds to deliver a series of loving lines to William. 

William looks just as confused as his character is supposed to be. 

“What relish is in this? How runs the stream?” he says weakly to the audience. “Or am I mad, or else is this a dream?”

They exchange a few more lines, as Lizzy’s character professes her adoration for William’s character.

“Nay, come, I prithee,” she says. “Would thou’dst be rul’d by me!”

“Madam, I will.”

“O say so, and so be!”

Lizzy walks up to William and, gently cupping his cheek, draws him into a kiss. It takes a moment for him to catch on, but soon he is kissing her back. The crowd applauds as they embrace and then walk offstage, hand in hand. Lizzy even hears a bark that sounds like a strangely approving poodle. 

The moment they leave the stage, William turns to glare at her halfheartedly. “Why didn’t you warn me?!” 

“There wasn’t time,” says Lizzy. “Also, this was funnier.”

William sighs, the effect slightly ruined by the smile he cannot quite hide. “You’re a menace.”

“Yep.”

William shakes his head. “Do you realize that was our first kiss?”

Lizzy blinks. “Huh.” She frowns. “I guess it was.” She turns to look at him. “Is that okay?”

William considers this for a moment. “It seems rather fitting, I suppose.”

“What do you mean?”

“Our relationship started with mistaken identities and general confusion. It was only right for us to continue the trend.”

Lizzy laughs, loud and bright. Mary runs up and hushes her.

“Give me your costume and get out of here!” she says. Beside her is the actor who was supposed to play Sebastian. “You’ve had your fun and given that barbarian something to remember you by. Now let us do the play properly.”

Lizzy and William change and surrender their costumes without complaint. They leave and return to their seats as everyone resumes their proper parts and brings the play to a close. Lizzy is satisfied to note that, when he comes back onstage, Wickham is sporting the beginnings of a rather spectacular black eye.

They applaud louder than anyone else as the actors take their bows. They leave the theater before Wickham can emerge from backstage. They are not disturbed by Caroline — she seems to have fled at some point after the onstage kiss. Lizzy and William hold hands as they walk down the street, enjoying the quiet and the sunshine after the chaos that had been the last few hours. 

“That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done,” says William. “It was a terrible idea. I’m going to have to properly deal with Wickham eventually.”

“It was fun though, wasn’t it?” 

William is silent. Lizzy takes this as the agreement it is.

“You’re welcome,” she says with a grin. 

William sighs, rolls his eyes, and kisses her again. 

Together, they walk into the sunset.

~

(Two hours later…)

Bennet Family Group Chat

muffin: drama.mov I filmed the whole scene btw

Lizzy: wHAT

muffin: :)

*Many people are typing*

[absolutebl]

Why Color Rush is Amazing

I was doing a comp post of the BLs I believe honestly represent the queer experience (for Pride obvs), and the first one I thought of was Color Rush. 

And then I thought, no, I have to just talk about Color Rush for a while. 

And then I rewatched Color Rush and now... here we are, together, staring down the barrel of yet another super long post from moi.

TA DA! 

I’ve been asked why I love this show so much and usually I direct people to the episode by episode post I did where you can watch me go from “this is cute” to “OH it’s an allegory” to “this is blowing my tiny mind.” But I think it deserves more from me. So, here it is a proper pop critique essay on one of my favorite BLs of all time...

All my love for Color Rush 

BASICS

Who made it? Korea

Where to find it? Viki

Foundational Romance Trope? Fated mates 

Style: High concept, skewed reality, single POV, small cast 

PITCH 

Despite being a typical Korean-BL short run, Color Rush was given more legs than most with a STRONG core concept and 8 episodes of 15 minutes each. Thus Color Rush (with a total run time of c. 2 hours) works better as a movie than a series and manages to satisfy because it utilizes a cinematic approach that strongly relies on manga filming techniques.

It broke ground in many ways:

It neatly avoided the pacing issues of K-BL with a magical realism component that forced intimacy in the first episode.  

It was concept driven, in that it had a strong fantasy component, like Cherry Magic. However, Color Rush used this fantastical as an aspect of visual story telling (Cherry Magic was audio) which allowed it to be less soft, sweet, cute and more tense, sinister, dramatic.

It also used this concept mono/probe to say some really subversive things about the seme/uke dynamic. 

The narrative backbone was an insanely perfect allegory for queer first love and the coming out experience.

It’s this last bit that made me love this show with such fervor. 

Color Rush Subverting Seme/Uke

What I initially thought Color Rush was focusing on was codifying the seme/uke dynamic with an in-universe supernatural component: mono/probe. 

They use mono/probe to highlight the sinister nature of seme/uke by emphasizing the obsession a mono (Yeon Woo) has for his probe but countering that by making the probe character the seme (Yoo Han), and a seme is always obsessed with his uke. 

So Color Rush used subversion to explore yaoi archetypes: naturally obsessive seme versus supernaturally obsessive uke.

When Yoo Han pulls down his mask, it is an aggressive sexual act - yeah, I do mean that kind of exposure - and predatory. But all semes have aggressive predatory instincts (its how they spiral when the drama requires it). Yoo Han wants Yeon Woo to be obsessed with him. He enjoys the power that being a probe gives him. He is literally stunning to Yeon Woo. 

What seme doesn’t want an uke that faints in his arms just from seeing his face? Only Yoo Han can show Yeon Woo a whole new world. That world is color, but that wold is also a relationship, love, sex. 

Throughout the drama, Yoo Han teases Yeon Woo in this highly erotic way using color: the rainbow fan of temptation, the prism and the light, the memorized lists and stories of color’s history Yoo Han is all about the allowance of pleasure, the denial, the boundaries. Color Rush pushed way past standard uke/seme into full on D/s. Along the way saying some interesting things about obsession and addiction.

Cats exist in this liminal space where they are both stupid cute love muffins and threatening alpha predators. I feel like Yoo Han is played exactly the same way. He manages to be a dominating force but also whimsical and yearning, so we get these glimpses and reminders of how young he is. It gives him qualities of etherial godling capriciousness on one side and childish wonder on the other. All from behind a mask.

He’s as caught up in this thing as Yeon Woo, but he also must be in control of it. Or at least pretend to be.

“I wanted to show you a rainbow but it wouldn’t rain.”

Is such a seme thing to say. How annoying of the world not to conform exactly to the way Yoo Han wanted it to be, for the benefit of his mono, of course.

I don’t think it’s an accident of language that Yeon Woo uses the same phrases to describe seeing color that Yoo Han uses to describe seeing Yeon Woo. So it goes also with the nature of desire in this series: Yeon Woo wants the same things from color (to see, to touch, to possess) that Yoo Han wants from Yeon Woo.

Of course then Yeon Woo starts to actually become obsessed and orders Yoo Han around, and a seme can’t have that! Must CONTROL the situation. So Yoo Han barters for what he wants, time to woo Yeon Woo. Sinister, but then of course by the laws of yaoi and of this universe the only way it’s going to work is if the two characters become equally obsessed with each other. It’s the you are my destiny AKA fated mates trope in an urban fantasy BL form.

And so I thought Color Rush was being terribly clever with yaoi archetypes and romance tropes. Cute and smart and fun. 

That’s what I thought at first. 

And it was, but it turned out Color Rush was going deeper than that. 

Color Rush as an Allegory for Queer Awakening

Color Rush is also a narrative of discovering queer identity and self-acceptance, packaged in this clever little magical contrivance: the color rush. 

Yeon Woo is trapped in a grey world which is an allegory for the sexually/romantically unawakened innocent. The color rush experience therefore represents both sexual awakening and the epiphany of queerness. 

(Rainbow sparkles, anyone?)

The lore of the world is that monos have a history of kidnapping and hurting their probes, because they become obsessed with the only person who allows them to see color. Yeon Woo is terrified of this, terrified of becoming the monster. He is gay/mono growing up in a culture/family/religion that vilifies gays/monos. As a direct result, this boy is terrified of being gay/mono because it is associated with monstrosity. (I’m gonna stop with the gay/mono slash thing. They are basically interchangeable.) 

“Love makes monsters of us all.” 

We’ll come back around to Yeon Woo in a moment. 

Yoo Han  

As the confident (seeming) probe Yoo Han represents out gay - comfortable in his own skin, flirtatious and very intersted in Yeon Woo. He is a threat under these circumstances, because he has what Yeon Woo wants, he is what Yeon Woo wants, but he also is what Yeon Woo wants to be. He is the world of color, he is the monster. 

The scene where Yoo Han has Yeon Woo caged and is explaining colors to him by whispering in his ear (still masked) while petting his hand is possibly one of the sexiest things to happen in BL since Pharm feed Dean at the swimming pool. It has the same tension and the same interweaving of plot and action. 

It is an act of seduction, but of identity seduction. 

Yoo Han is temping Yeon Woo to cross into being queer. To accept color into his life is to accept himself. 

Initially, Yoo Han capitalizes on this sinister sexy seme dynamic partly because of his mask. It isn’t until much later that we realize the mask is an outward manifestation of Yoo Han’s own struggles with identity, his face blindness. Essentially, the mask is Yoo Han's visual representation of his own challenges with self acceptance and society. AKA A different kind of coming out experience, but no less a queer allegory. 

Yeon Woo’s realization of this (in the hotel room after Yoo Han confesses) is his cornerstone to empathy and eventually self-forgiveness and understanding. We are both monsters, we are both unique, we both struggle, and we both love. 

Yeon Woo needs to understand that while Yoo Han seems to be in control and have the power in the equation, he is just as caught up as Yeon Woo. They can be monsters together. 

For a first timer Heo Hyun Jun (AKA Hwall from The Boyz) as Yoo Han did a great job with a difficult role. Masked he had to do most of his emoting via body language and eye movement, and I think it really helped that he’s a trained dancer. 

Yoo Han’s character fit the brief too. The type of arrogant pretty-boy who wants to be a K-pop idol by his very nature wants to be something special. In being Yeon Woo’s probe, Yoo Han gets to be the most special thing in the whole universe to one person. And it’s a boy he already likes. Isn’t that what every seme secretly wants in the end? To be the most special and important person in their uke’s universe. Isn’t that what the whole dynamic is about?

Of course we learn later that this is because Yeon Woo is actually unique to Yoo Han. His is the only face Yoo Han can recognize in a sea of strangers. For Yeon Woo, this discovery represents that moment of being queer and realizing that your crush is queer too, that there are others out there in the world. Not just that love can be reciprocated, but that your kind of love (that is hated by others) can be reciprocated. 

Color Rush is exploring the idea that to be so transported by another person is to want to dwell in their skin, see what they see, drift on the sensations only they can provide. It’s highlighting the unmoored nature of new passion. 

“I want to be with him, but also, in a strange way, I want to be him.” 

This is particularly common to the queer experience. 

Which brings us to Yeon Woo. 

Yeon Woo  

The narrative is told from Yeon Woo’s POV, which is normal for yaoi stories. They usually focus on the uke’s POV. I talked about Yoo Han first because Yeon Woo is realizing who he really is (gay), because of Yoo Han. As happens to many of us queers, it is the act of sexual and/or emotional awakening inspired by meeting another person that makes us realized who we want, and by extension who we are. Our crush is also our first “oh no, what am I?” 

What Color Rush does that I have never seen in BL before (and rarely in any other queer narratives) is put Yeon Woo through the 5 stages of grief that result from this queer awakening (in 5 episodes). That grief centers around Yeon Woo finding his probe and loosing greyscale (and mourning the safe quiet world of his past self). But it is a perfect queer first-love allegory as well.

first Yeon Woo tries to deny his probe

then he gets angry at Yoo Han for not avoiding him

then they bargain

then there is depression 

and finally acceptance

Incidentally, if you’re queer you often go through grief stages as part of your first love/sexual awakening, especially if you live in a non-accepting culture or family. Unacknowledged, that grief is often the reason youngsters get angry and forceful about their queerness: 

Why don’t we get to experience first love without simultaneously mourning other people’s expectations of us?

Why should we have to grieve an identity (straight) that the world forced on us? 

When Yeon Woo grieves for his mother, he is also grieving his inability to share the experience of losing his greyscale identity. He is mourning the only other person in his world who could fully understand what he is going through.

From a queer perspective, could I just highlight that is is why found family and queer friendships are so important? Because we all need someone to talk with who has been through a similar experience. And when you are queer and suffering through love and/or sex for the first time, you need someone outside of the new relationship to talk it over with.

First love and queer self discovery are kinds of madness, like the color rush, euphoric and transporting. What form his madness takes rests on Yeon Woo directing it outwards or inwards. It’s inwards for his character (self harm) even as the narrative implies monos direct their madness outwards (murder) but that is, as ever, society’s warped expectations. (Like the perpetuated misconception that gay = pedophile.) 

The scene after Yeon Woo’s attempted suicide is so sad because we realize why hi’s aunt was trying so desperately to separate them. Not because she thought it was wrong, but because she knew Yeon Woo’s personality so well she understood what he would do to stop himself from hurting his probe. To stop himself from becoming a monster. (To stop himself from being gay.) 

“The colors of my world are also the colors of his world.”

Color Rush is exploring how first love and sexual awakening shifts not only your perception of yourself, but also your feelings about the world around you and what it expects of you. 

Yeon Woo hurts because he cannot cope with what he is being told he will become, evil, simply because of how he was born, mono.

Sound familiar? 

Simultaneously, the narrative taps into to the idea that reconciliation between the unawakened before-identity (greyscale), and the now-person you’re becoming (colorful) requires empathy for yourself. Yeon Woo has to forgive himself for his desire, but he also forgive Yoo Han for awakening that desire in him, and for forcing him to confront his own identity. An identity that is in part formed by wanting Yoo Han.  

IT’S SO GOOD. 

It’s about Yeon Woo’s struggle to accept what mono means to him as an identity, contrasted to what mono means when he is with Yoo Han versus when he is alone, contrasted to what the world expects of him as representative of mono. (Seriously, just substitute the word gay for mono…)

Yeon Woo’s character arc is towards a realization that he and his probe are not so different. It’s the first step towards understanding that his desire (what he wants to do to Yoo Han) has been rendered corrupt by societal expectations. He has to learn that it is what he and Yoo Han can be together that is important.

Yoo Han, on the other hand, is open to the world and to being in love, possibly too open to it, because he has never been limited by expectations, but he still makes the effort to understand Yeon Woo and the prison the world has put him in. The judgment Yeon Woo has labored under for being a mono is so much like the judgement for being gay in a homophobic society. Hence the symbolism of Yoo Han breaking Yeon Woo out of the mental institution (I mean COME ON, gay conversion therapy anyone?).

The obvious solution is for them to become equally obsessed with each other, and we see this as Yoo Han reminds Yeon Woo of the risks he is willing to take, sacrifices he’s willing to make, and that he is falling in love too. It’s empathy, but it’s not enough. It’s not until Yoo Han explains his face blindness, proves that Yeon Woo is literally the only person he can see, that Yeon Woo moves beyond mutual obsession into mutual love. 

The very act of loving another turns that person glorious and unique. And isn’t that what’s best about love? 

Yeon Woo got to accept and realize that he was something special to Yoo Han. That they each correct a flaw in the other (or what the world sees as a flaw). A much gentler message then mutual obsession, but also an explanation for a lessening of that obsession.

At root, obsession is based on fear of loss and lack of trust. When Yoo Han tells Yeon Woo that his is the only face that he can really see (and only when they are together), Yeon Woo finally understands that he is as necessary to Yoo Han as Yoo Han is to him. They are each other’s one-of-a-kind - soulmates.

In the end, Color Rush was a picture perfect execution of the fated mates romance trope but just crazy queer about it.

Even after his realization and willingness to trust, Yeon Woo has questions, but I liked that. It’s the butterflies of new love. Not being able to predict the other person. Yeon Woo’s questions are about discovery, and yes, still about doubt and fear, but at least they indicate his openness to Yoo Han and willingness to try.

“Am I obsessed with you because you’re my probe or am I obsessed with my probe because it’s you? Does my world truly change when our eyes meet or am I just being dragged into yours?”

and then later

“I hate being confused.”

Again these are the manifestations of queer awakening that we all ask ourselves. It’s that first wave of joyful discomfort that same sex attraction almost always forces upon us. 

Am I actually gay or is it just this one person?

Do I change the way I think about myself and others because I have met you?

Is it you or your easy acceptance of your own identity that attracts me? 

Do I admire you or do I want to be you or do I want to sleep with you - or is it all in the end the same thing?

Where is the line drawn between who I am and who I love?

And if we cannot exist without connection to others, that connection must form part of our identity. How then does passion incorporate what is special?

And the ending! Back in school, together, rooftop assignation trope immanent, like they’ve returned to not just normal life but to the normal BL path. The show resolved both the seme/uke mono/probe conversation it was having with us, and its allegory for queer awakening. 

For me Color Rush was pitch perfect. I feel both honored and humbled to have gotten to experience such a multi-faceted gem.

Read my review of Color Rush 2 here. 

(source)

[thesbianxwaves]

TEAL PUMPKIN CAFÉ

Founded and co-owned by Waves Bordeaux, the Teal Pumpkin Café is an allergy-friendly vegan bakery café and catering company located in downtown Roswell, New Mexico. The café prides itself on being a safe and inclusive place for all to enjoy. 

The café is completely free from 7 of the 9 most common food allergens as recognized by the FDA. The only two that can be found in the café and its products are gluten and select tree nuts.

All ingredients are clearly labeled with potential allergens bolded.

For blind and low vision individuals, Braille menus are always at the ready behind the counter. There is also a Braille catering menu available. 

There are two separate display cases of pastries at the front of the café: one is labeled gluten-free and the other is not. There are two distinct kitchens to keep the gluten-free products from being prepped alongside those containing gluten.

Any products containing tree nuts { cashews, almonds, hazelnuts, or pistachios } may only be custom ordered. These products are prepared in an entirely separate kitchen from those in the café to ensure no cross-contamination.  

Custom orders may be placed in person, by phone, or on the café’s official website { www.tealpumpkincafe.com }.

Due to the owner’s own allergies, there are limited to no products containing the following ingredients: cinnamon { seasonal only available in fall }, blueberries, acai, cherries, peaches { seasonal only available in summer }, melons, mangoes, kiwis, papaya, nectarines, apricots, sesame, onions, celery. 

Also due to the owner’s own allergies, there are signs posted both inside and outside the cafe that ask customers not to smoke on the premise or spray perfumes and other heavily fragranced items. 

In addition to the café and the catering company, the Teal Pumpkin also has a small bulk food selection featuring items such as all-purpose flour, gluten-free flour, cane sugar, allergy-friendly chocolate chips, allergy-friendly chocolate coated candies, sunflower seeds, and rainbow sprinkles. More will be added with time.

Since the founder is Deaf, there is some art depicting the ASL alphabet as well as some common signs on the walls of the café. There is also a ‘Deaf Owned’ sign on the door.

There is also a button on the counter that says ‘ring the bell for service’. This button sends a signal to a vibrating device worn by any Deaf/HOH employees to alert them to a customer. 

There are both indoor { dining room } and outdoor { patio } seating for customers to enjoy. There is also a closed off sensory-friendly room for seating for those who may need it.

The entire café is wheelchair accessible; and both the ramp leading up to the entrance and the ramp leading up to the bathrooms are ADA compliant. 

A first aid kit { featuring all the basics as well as epi-pens } as well as an AED box can be found both next to the front counter for both employee and customer use as well as in the break room for employee use.

The café also prides itself on being low-waste and using reusable options when able. It is also known that some disabled individuals do benefit from the use of plastics; so there are always those options as well if needed. 

The café is digital receipt only; so customers can choose to have their receipt emailed or texted. Or they can opt out of a receipt all together. If a receipt really does need to be printed for any reason, the café is able to print receipts upon request. 

Many of the employees are disabled in some way, shape, or form. The café wishes to give opportunities to those who may usually struggle to find jobs.

Employees, only if comfortable, have buttons on their aprons that share preferred pronouns as well as buttons sharing if the employee is Deaf, autistic, etc. 

There is no tip jar for the employees. Instead, they are all paid a very livable wage and given excellent benefits even under part-time status. In place of any sort of tip jar, the café has a donations jar that changes the charity in support every several months.

Service dogs are always welcomed; and there is a special menu just for pups as well as a water station set up near the outdoor dining for any pups who may be thirsty. 

Once a month, the café hosts a Deaf Night { third Friday of the month from 6pm to 10 pm } where Deaf/HOH individuals and their friends/family are invited to come to the café for coffee/tea, pastries, and games. Hearing individuals are also welcome to attend as it is a great opportunity to learn ASL and learn more about Deaf/HOH culture.

The café also hosts a bi-weekly game night { every other Thursday from 5pm-8pm } where everyone is welcome to come enjoy a limited menu and partake in an assortment of board games and card games. Attending the game night costs $3 per person over the age of 12 and $1 per person ages 3-12. The fee for attending this event is donated to local shelters and soup kitchens.

Open daily from 7am to 3pm, the café has quite the assortment of coffees, teas, smoothies, breakfast sandwiches, { vegan } quiches, yogurt parfaits, paninis, rice bowls, soups, fresh breads, seasonal fruits, spanakopita, cookies, brownies, tarts, cupcakes, and French-inspired pastries. 

While the menu changes daily as well as seasonally, some of the pastries one can always find at the café include but are not limited to:  

pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies, alien-shaped sugar cookies, galaxy cupcakes, chocolate covered pretzels, sunflower butter cups, mille-feuille, macaróns, chocolate chip/candy cookies, cosmic brownies, swirled brownies, chia pudding cups, black & white cookies, danishes, banana bread, seasonal fruit scones & muffins, profiteroles, pain au chocolat, croissants, kolaczki, petit fours, madeleines, palmiers...

[glapplebloom]

The first of the Character focused episodes and its with Applejack.

Its Apple Harvesting Time and with Big Mac injured, Granny Smith being old and Apple Bloom being young, its up to Applejack to do it herself. Big Mac fears that she is unable to do it, likely suggesting she needs to find help, but Applejack’s stubbornness thinks its a challenge. Thus beginning a flaw in Applejack that continues to rise up.

But its still day 1. So Applejack is still being awesome as she saves the town from a Stampede of Cows. Sapient cows. And because she did save the Town, they decided to give her a reward ceremony. Through that, we learn two things: 1- Its been a week since then and 2- she promised three ponies to help with their problems.

So we get to see a not at her top game Applejack. She accepts the award, but Twilight notices something is wrong. When she went to confront AJ, she learned she’s been harvesting all alone and has no one to help her. So when she tells Applejack she needs help, the stubborn side takes over and she refuses.

First on the Applejack help tour is Rainbow Dash. She wants AJ to launch her with the catapult so she can fly at higher speeds (this is before she can tap into the Sonic Rainboom at will). Due to AJ being tired, it does not go so well. In fact, when Applejack finally launched Dash, she wasn’t ready and was sent flying the wrong way.

Next is Pinkie Pie, who is running Sugarcube Corner on her own for the first time. So to get help, she asks for Applejack’s aid to help with making Muffins. AJ was so tired, she misheard the ingredients and used potato chips, soda, some lemon juice, and earthworms. This basically made anyone who ate it sick, including the previously established iron stomach of Pinkie Pie.

And finally its Fluttershy who needed her help herding the new rabbits. But between being tired and her own stubborn nature, she instead created a different Stampede that goes through the town. Honestly its not as bad as a herd of cows, but the damage is still there while Fluttershy has to clean up the mess.

When Twilight finally went back the final time to put her hoof down, AJ thought she proved she could do it by showing her all those trees empty. But Big Mac revealed that she still has half an orchid to go. This was enough to beat it in Applejack’s head that she needs help. So she swallowed her pride and asked for help from Twilight.

And it ends with the girls helping Applejack, AJ apologizing for everything, and the underdeveloped Spike enjoying the Baked Bads Pinkie Pie threw out. Overall, it was pretty fun. We see Big Mac talking a lot more than how he will in the future, Twilight Teleporting a bunch, and overall a fun story showing Applejack at her best and worst.

As for rewrites, it remains the same except replace Twilight with someone else (maybe Rarity). On the GLAB side, this story takes place during it. Next week is my Birthday and its with a character I won’t get to see again till like Season 6 or 7... 

[gay-but-not-really]

1. wine glasses

2. lollipops

3. neither

4. """well behaved""" and """gifted"""

5. glass bottles

6. goth, grunge, formal (at the s am e t i m e)

7. both

8. tv shows

9. rain/fresh cut grass

10. free fridays. i would chase my friend around the entire gym. not tag, just chase him

11. tea

12. PANdemonium (pan pride songs, songs by pan artists, and songs with pan vibes)

13. lanyard with key ring

14. sour patch kids (also i hate chocolate, unless its fun sized dark chocolate)

15. westing game/tangerine

16. one leg on floor, on hung over armrest, sitting in the corned of the chair

17. rainbow vans thats say "garlic bread" on the laces

18. thunderstorms

19. all of them

20. laptop

21. blues clues and plushes

22. avril lavigne, robert manion, and billie joe armstrong

23. biting/picking at fingernails/cuticles. also scratching my head

24. dragons breath opal (?)

25. apologize by onerepublic. my dad and i used to sing it together

26. sit inside and scroll through social media, unless theres a strong breeze (i get headaches when im warm/hot)

27. sit on the porch and scroll through social media

28. better off dead-sleeping with sirens, american idiot-green day, weightless-all time low, caliform.i.a-black Friday, everybody talks-neon trees

29. sit/cuddle with me and listen to music while scrolling through our devices or talking

30. window nook/roof at moms house, closet/under desk at dads

31. rainbow jeans/sneakers with a graphic tee and hoodie, finished with stacked bracelets and a snapback

32. wtf richard, 5 ft apart, road work ahead, aa aaa aaaaaaaa, wtf is up kyle

33. gay, fuck/fucking, lmao

34. PB AND C IS WHAT IM THINKING OF AND IT ONLY CAN BE FOUND IN MY REESES PUFFS

35. 2-3 am

36. idk probably "you had one job" or grumpy cat

37. backpack (or duffel)

38. english breakfast or green tea

39.plain lemons

40. bomb threat where they wouldnt let kids leave unless they had a note

41. el or sis i dont remember

42. both

43. hoodie

44. old spice dragon

45. superhero?

46. hoodie and whatever shorts i was wearing that day

47. mozerella

48. lemon

49. "I could be something and nothing at the same time. I could be necessary and also invisible. Everyone would need me and no one would be able to see me.” Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

50.

51. missing my friends/being touch starved

52. typewriter

53. scabbed from picking at cuticles

54. how to drive a combine by myself, age 6 (farming job)

55. i genuinely dont know. prob the little mermaid bc its gay, but i love all of them

56. xmas pancakes at my great granmothers xmas morning

57. discovering my gender/sexuality w lgbtphobic family, anxiety/depression, brother's death/not being in contact with my nephew from ages 1-4 (an honorable mention is asking to be called sebastian by my teachers (it doesnt sound like much, but i had a panic attack while writng/sending the email to my sci teacher))

58. cosplay, singing, sewing, kandi bracelets

59. fucking hell dude

60. lgbt superhero slice of life (bnha but one of the main plots is non-heterosexuality)

61. “Through all of youth I was looking for you without knowing what I was looking for.”

“I wanted to tell them so many things yet I didn’t have the words. So I stupidly repeated myself.”

“The summer sun was not meant for boys like me. Boys like me belonged to the rain.”

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

62. Dante Quintana, Hitoshi Shinso, Klaus Hargreeves, Five Hargreeves, Klaus Baudelaire, Ryan Evans, Milo Thatch

63. weightless-all time low, if i had you- hit list, show stopping number-tgwdlm, tik tok-kesha, everybody talks- neon trees

64. club penguin

65. im clumsy af. theres so many

66. green carnations, black roses, dahlias

67. nope

68. pb choc oat muffins. they were flavorless and burnt

69. 1.59 gal water, 2 ground cherry pits, 80 choc bars, or 70 cups of coffee will kill you

70. right

71. houndstooth

72. Social studies

73. Carrots w peanut butter

74. 3

75. Age 6

76. Fries

77. Herbs

78. coffee from a gas station

79. I don't have either

80.jewel tones

81. fireflies

82. pc

83. writing

84. podcasts

84. barbie

85. mythology

86. cookies

87. Dad finding out I'm pan and either disowning/kicking me out or hurting/killing me

88. testosterone, top surgery, bottom surgery, liking who i am

89. Sage

90. stealing el's paper. they bit me an now were best friends

91. boxes

92. sunlight or fairy lights

93. seb

94. winter

95. pinterest

96.

97. 3- mom, dad, and my aunt

98. 1920's and ancient greece

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

[groovy-woovy-blog]

Best Day Ever

I had a daydream and I just had to write it.

It was roughly dinner time when my boyfriend and I walked into the café. There was still the rainbow facepaint on both of our faces. I readjusted the pins on my shirt; a gay pride pin and a trans pride pin. My boyfriend looked down at me and smiled, placing a quick kiss on my forehead. I felt my face flush, and I rushed to hide it but it was too late. He laughed and said,

"Should we get some food now, babe?"

"Yeah," I said. "That would be great."

As always, I stumbled through my order. There was just so much to chose from. I don't know how he ordered so smoothly. I adore the confidence that man has, I swear.

We sat down at a table near the window. He sipped his coffee and I nibbled at my blueberry muffin. I don't know how he can drink coffee after noon and still fall asleep at 10, I surely can't do that. We talked and laughed, just enjoying ourselves.

By the time we were almost done our food and drinks, I was still smiling down at the half-eaten muffin infront of me.

"What are you thinking about thats making you smile so much?" My boyfriend laughed.

"Oh... Today... Its just.... Its just been the best day of my life." I looked up at him slowly.

A smile grew on his face. After a moment of silence, he swiped my muffin from infront of me, proceeding to shove the rest of it in his mouth.

"Hey!" I shouted, laughing.

He chewed the muffin a little bit before swalloing it.

"We still have one more thing that we're doing today." He said, getting up.

I got up along with him. I honestly had no idea what he had planned. He didn't mention doing anything after this. He beelined straight for the car, which he found surprisingly quickly in the full parking lot. After he manuvered his way out, we drove.

And drove. And drove. It seemed like forever. Maybe it was the anticipation. But when we did stop, I recognized where we were instantly. It was a park. A very specific park. The park where we had our first date... Our first kiss, too. We come back here quite a bit to stargaze at night since we both love doing that.

He hopped out of the car. I followed him slowly. What did he have planned?

We stopped in front of the fountian, which was coviently placed in the middle of the park.

It was a beautiful night. The sun was setting, casting amazing colours along the sky. I coukd see some starts starying to appear, like little pinpricks of light. The cool wind just topped off the feeling of utter bliss.

"Caiden... I've been... Uh... Meaning to talk to you for a while." My boyfriend suddenly said.

"Whats going on?" I asked him, noticing the worried quaver he had in his voice.

My first thought was that he was going to dump me. Its happened to me before. My boufriend ruffled around in his pocket for a moment, pulling out a little box. Wait... Wait... WAIT.

He dropped down to one knee and opened the box. There was a glittery ring sparkling in the fading sunlight.

"Will... Will you marry me?" He whipsered.

I was shocked. I could barely form words, but my eyes were definitively forming happy tears. I nodded slightly before tackling him to the ground. We both broke down laughing, both with tears running down our faces.

It truly was the best day ever.

[outandabroad]

Article in Chinese/中文 ___

We had a great time in Amsterdam during the Pride there. It was our first time organizing activities during an event this large and thinking back it was awesome. Some things could have gone better, but we did our best and will continue to improve!

This September we are going to attend Rotterdam Pride. This city is special to OUT&ABROAD. Our very first activities were held in this city and still most of our activities are held in Rotterdam! So its wouldn’t be more than normal for us to show our face and participate during Rotterdam Pride.  The pride will be held in September, quite late, from the 21st until the 24th. Even though there will be many activities and we encourage you to attend as many af possible, OUT&ABROAD will organize events only on Saturday, 23rd of September. This day OUT&ABROAD is going to attend the Rotterdam Pride Walk! We hope you will join us too, so mark your calendars, invite your friends and come join us! Join our tour of the city too!

Schedule on 23 September

11:00 Meet up with us at Rotterdam Central station, near the Tourist Information desk. We will have an out and OUT&ABROAD flag and should be clearly visible.

11:15 We will walk to leuvehoofd, we should arrive around 11:45 

(feel free to meet us at Leuvehoofd if that is more convenient for you)

12:00 The PrideWalk Rotterdam will start at Leuvehoofd, near the Erasmus Bridge. The exact route of the walk is still rather unclear, the walk will probably go through the city, ending at Shouwburgplein.

During the walk we will carry signs, rainbow flags and OUT&ABROAD flags. You can chat with each other and meet new people! Besides OUT&ABROAD there will be hundreds of other people participating as well!

Credit: Andréa Foto

13:00 The Pride Festival will start at Schouwburgplein. Different from Amsterdam, the walk in Rotterdam will end in the city center, giving everyone the chance to eat something on their own.   14:00 Starting from Central station, there will be a guided tour of Rotterdam that takes you past most of the highlights of the city. There will be opportunity to snack on the way, as well as plenty of photo opportunities. You might just fall in love with this city!

17:00 We will have the last organised part of the event, dinner. Everyone who wants to join can meet as we conclude our activities with a meal at a restaurant that we will pick in the weeks leading up to the event, because it depends on the number of people joining and the restaurants capacity. Rotterdam has many good restaurants, so we will surely not starve! :)  

WANT TO JOIN US? Contact us on WeChat, Facebook or by email. READ MORE FOR PARTIES!

PRIDE PARTIES 23 SEPTEMBER 2017 

13:00 - 23:00 Pride Festival Free entrance - Schouwburgplein will be transformed into the world’s biggest pop-up park! There will be foodtrucks offering bar, coffee, smoothies, muffins, burgers asian streetfood and much more! Come party with us with various dj's, drag artist and dance performances or just hang around and chill! 

13:00 - 23:00 Keerweer Parade Free entrance - On this day Keerweer will offer a wide variety of events! From Eurovision singer LOREEN, to drag and from dance performances to a fashionshow! 13:00 - 4:00 Rotterdam Pride at Regenboog Free entrance - Showing why for over 15 years this bar is the best and ‘gezelligste’ bar of Rotterdam! 15:00 - 23:00 WTF! Pride Party! Free entrance - This party will be held in the street in from of gaybar Strano. Bringing to you DJ's, singers and dancers so you can party deep into the night. 20:00 - 3:00 LOUD! Free entrance - Gay friendly, women’s bar offers you a night to party ladies! oh, gentlemen are welcome too! 21:00 - 3:00 Sjatzi Gay Pride Free entrance - DJ’s, poledancers, caviar and much more at Sjatzi, find the party at Westzeedijk 68A 21:00 - 5:00 Stout Pride Entrance €5 or €10 & men-only - From 16:00 hosting UNDERWEAR OR NAKED and after 21:00 STOUT! 

22:00 - 6:00 Cocktail Fest - The Second Edition Tickets Required - This party powered by SCRUFF offers a wide variety of international DJ's, Singers and Drag artists. Remember to buy your ticket! 22:00 - 6:00 Rotterdam Pride Party Tickets Required - Party by the largest gayclub in Rotterdam, De Unie! Awesome beats from their DJ's and dancers under the showers and dont forget the drag!

From 23:00 The House of Boys! Free Entrance - House of Boys is back! The party returns to FERRY. The boys brough the theme Freedom, Excess & Love with them to the party. Besides a spectacular line-up there are also plenty of audio-visual surprises! 11:00 - 5:00 Bär Gay Night Entrance €10 at the door - Offering a line up of talented musicians, bar will make your night one to never forget! 

Various other parties, not pride related

22:00 - 5:00  Saturday Night x 23.09.2017 x The VIP Room Tickets required - Entertianment on a wide scale of urban music with an intimate ambience.  23:00 - 4:00  80s & 90s Alternative at Rotown €5 only at the door - Playing Aternative music from the '80s and '90s, remembering the birth of the internet. 23:00 - 5:00  Villa Night Club Tickets required - Club Villa Thalia offers the festival experience in a club. Spectacular lightshows, live entertainment, awesome DJ's and stunning visuals 360 degrees. Gauranteed a clubnight of the highest level. 23:00 - 5:00  Funtasy Reloaded Ticket required - dresscode smart&classy - FUNTASY is known for bringing the best parties. FUNTASY is not just a name, it’s a brand, a brand that brings nothing but the best. At FUNTASY, quality is always guaranteed. 23:00 - 5:00  JE WEET T All | Ik Ben Litt Tickets €10, pricier at the door -  You already know it, I’m lit. A night filled to the brim with some of the best Dutch rappers and artist alive.   23:00 - 6:00  Scheuren met 'De Fellas' in Club BLU Ticket required - The Fellas are in town! Spectacular show, filled to the brim with live-acts, light shows and lots and lots of champagne. 

[impossibly-closer]

Klance at Pride Pt. 1

1331 wordsI know it’s a little late but @starcosdiaz wrote a set of klance pride head canons (which you can find here ) and I decided to write a oneshot about it. That oneshot turned into two parts.

Here’s part 1 (1331 words)

Keith wakes up when something jumps onto the bed. He opens his eyes to see Lance hovering above him. Lance has bisexual flag colored hearts on his cheeks, blue lipstick, and every color of glitter all over his face and shoulders. Keith assumes its all on the rest of Lance’s body, meaning there’s now glitter on the bed.

“Good morning,” Lance says happily.

“Morning, glitterface,” Keith chuckles sleepily. Lance leans forward to kiss Keith’s forehead, leaving a blue kiss behind.

“Okay, you need to get ready,” Lance says, getting off the bed. Keith sits up and moves to sit at the side of the bed. Lance comes to stand in between Keith’s legs, wiping the lipstick off his boyfriend’s forehead.

Lance leans downs to give Keith a kiss on the lips before saying, “Okay, now you need to get ready.”

He leaves the room and Keith puts on a black tank that Lance bought him and a pair of jeans. The tank top has the words ‘I’m Gay’ written in rainbow lettering.

When Keith walks into the bathroom, he sighs. Clearly, Lance didn’t clean up in here. There’s glitter on the floor and on the counter and even in the toilet.

As Keith brushes his teeth, Lance walks past the bathroom and gasps. “Keith, what are you wearing?” Keith gives him a confused look. Lance walks into their bedroom and Keith spits into the sink. Lance returns with a pair of grey Nike shorts.

“You can’t wear jeans to a pride parade,” Lance explains, handing the shorts to Keith. “Plus the shorts make your butt look great.” Keith blushes and Lance laughs as he leaves the bathroom.

After Keith changes, Lance comes back. “You need glitter.”

“Don’t put a lot,” Keith replies.

“Just let me do rainbow colors.”

“Fine.”

For the next couple of minutes, Keith lets Lance brush glitter on his face and arms.

“You look perfect,” Lance decides when he finishes.

“Are we going to clean this all up?” Keith asks, motioning to all the glitter in the bathroom.

“Eh, we can worry about that later,” Lance says. He smiles and moves closer to Keith, resting his arms on Keith’s shoulders and letting his hands dangle. “Are you excited for today?”

“I’m going to be with you all day, of course I’m excited,” Keith replies.

Lance leans down to kiss Keith. Keith leans back until he’s basically sitting on the kitchen counter, accidentally spilling some glitter, while Lance tangles his hands in Keith’s hair. They ignore the spilled glitter and keep kissing

Suddenly, the doorbell rings, causing the two boys to break apart.

“That must be Hunk and Pidge,” Lance says, untangling his hands from Keith’s hair. “I’ll go let them in.” He leaves the bathroom while Keith tries to clean up the bathroom. He hears Lance open the door and say hello but when he hears Hunk announce he brought breakfast, Keith leaves the bathroom.

“Hey guys,” he says when he gets to the kitchen.

“You two have so much glitter, I might need sunglasses to look at you,” Pidge says. She’s wearing a green tank top and some khaki cargo shorts but has a rainbow flag tied around her neck like a cape.

“Oo, I can give everyone glitter, hold on,” Lance says, running out of the kitchen.

“Keith, do you want a muffin?” Hunk asks. His nails are painted in pansexual flag colors.

Keith nods. “Oh good, someone else has painted nails,” He wiggles his rainbow nails that Lance did the night before.

“Shay was over last night so she did them,” Hunk explains, handing Keith a muffin.

“Is Shay coming today?” Lance asks, coming back into the kitchen with all his glitter. “Pidge, let me give you glitter!”

“She’s getting a ride from Shiro, Allura, and Coran so she’ll meet us there,” Hunk answers as Pidge sits on the kitchen counter and lets Lance brush green glitter onto her eyelids.

Soon, Pidge and Hunk both have glitter on and Keith and Lance have eaten breakfast. The four get in Hunk’s car and leave.

On the ride to the parade, the closer they get, the more excited Lance gets. Pretty soon, as they drive around trying to find parking, Lance is smiling and bouncing. He accidentally kicks Pidge’s chair.

“Lance, I will throw you out of the car if you don’t calm down,” Pidge warns.

“I’d be able to get to the parade quicker,” Lance replies, crossing his legs under him.

“Hey, this mess that is parking isn’t my fault,” Hunk says.

Keith looks over and sees Lance staring happily out the window. Keith takes his phone out to take a picture of Lance and post it to Instagram, tagging Lance in it.

A few moments later, Lance takes his phone out and asks, “You took a photo of me?”

“You just looked really happy so I wanted a photo,” Keith explains.

“Well now you have to take a picture with me for my Instagram,” Lance replies. He leans over and takes a selfie with Keith. “Perfect,” Lance decides after they take the selfie.

Soon, Hunk finds a parking spot and Lance practically out of the car before Hunk can even turn off the car.

He runs around the car to Keith’s side. “My prince,” Lance smiles as he opens the door.

“Why thank you,” Keith says. He smiles and takes the hand Lance is holding out. But his smile falls when he sees all the people. They’re parked on the side of one of the roads blocked off for the parade and there’s a tons of people walking around. Keith freezes halfway out of the car.

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay,” Lance says, wrapping one arm around Keith’s waist, the other cupping his face. “I know it’s a lot of people but you’re going to have so much fun.”

Keith still looks apprehensive. “I’ll be with you the entire time. I’ll hold your hand, my arm will be around your waist, I’ll gives you lots of kisses, stuff like that,” Lance promises. He leans forward to kiss Keith.

When the pull apart, Keith has a smile on his face. “I think I’m ready.”

“Awesome,” Lance gives Keith a kiss on the forehead, leaving some blue lipstick.

Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge are planning to meet Shiro, Allura, Coran, and Shay at a McDonald’s near the beginning of the parade. It’s pretty crowded at the McDonald’s so Hunk and Pidge wait outside while Keith and Lance go inside.

They weave their way through the crowd, trying to find their friends. Keith sees all different kinds of people, some with tons of rainbows all over, some have feather boas, and basically everyone has glitter. Finally, they see Allura waving them down.

“Hey guys,” Lance greets them. “Shay, if you want to see Hunk, he’s outside.” Shay smiles and walks away from the table.

Shiro’s prosthetic arm has every pride flag possible on it and his eyeliner is perfect. Lance has begged Shrio to teach him how to get the perfect wing but Shiro keeps refusing. He’s sitting next to Allura who’s wearing a pink romper, her hair in two buns on top of her head, as almost has more glitter than Lance. Coran’s mustache has orange glitter in it.

“We got drinks for you guys,” Allura says, picking up a four-drink drink holder. “They’re all root beer.”

“I think we should probably go find our spot for the parade,” Shiro says. He stands up and Keith nearly drops the drink he’s grabbing.

“Is that a romphim?” Keith asks.

Shiro looks up and down at the black, tank-top, flower-print romphim he’s wearing. “Allura said it would look good. Does it look bad?”

“It looks fine, I just never thought you’d wear one,” Keith answers.

They’re actually quite comfortable,” Coran says, standing up. He’s wearing a blue, collared romphim.

Lance laughs. “Keith, I think we need to get us some romphims.”

Keith smiles. “Whatever you want, glitterface."”

[ladystylestores]

Coronavirus, Russian Bounties, Poland’s Election: Your Monday Briefing

(Want to get this briefing by email? Here’s the sign-up.)

Good morning.

We’re covering the world reaching 10 million coronavirus cases, a suspected Russian plot to pay bounties on U.S. troops and Europe’s first pandemic-era presidential election.

Coronavirus cases pass 10 million as U.S. infections surge

The number of coronavirus cases worldwide has reached 10 million, and the death toll passed 500,000 on Sunday, with daily infections escalating in the U.S., India and Brazil.

The grim milestone came as countries struggled to keep new infections at bay while also emerging from painful lockdowns.

The European Union will allow outsiders to enter again on July 1, but will bar most travelers from the U.S., Russia and other countries that are considered too risky because they have not controlled their outbreaks.

Cases in the U.S. have risen 65 percent over the past two weeks — they now total more than 2.5 million. Some administration officials, including Vice President Mike Pence, have said that increased testing explains the surge in cases, but health officials say otherwise.

Testing sites in the U.S. were overwhelmed over the weekend in the hard-hit states of Arizona, Florida and Texas.

A suspected Russian plot to pay bounties on U.S. troops

United States intelligence officers in Afghanistan warned superiors as early as January of a suspected Russian plot to pay bounties to the Taliban to kill American troops in Afghanistan.

The recovery of large amounts of American cash at a Taliban outpost and interrogations of captured militants and criminals helped determine that Russians had offered and paid bounties in 2019, one official told our reporters.

Military and intelligence officials are reviewing whether American and other coalition casualties were victims of the plot. They believe bounties led to at least one death of a U.S. service member, two officials said.

New: Some 291 Afghan soldiers were killed in Taliban attacks from June 19-25, according to the country’s National Security Council, making it the war’s deadliest week for Afghan forces. The violence is sapping optimism over a peace deal the U.S. signed with the Taliban that would negotiate an end to nearly two decades of war.

Poland votes in Europe’s first big pandemic-era election

Poland’s president, Andrzej Duda, fell short of securing a majority of the vote on Sunday in Europe’s first socially distanced election, according to exit polls. There will be a runoff on July 12 against Warsaw’s mayor, Rafal Trzaskowski.

Turnout was high and voters at polling stations wore masks, brought their own pens and waited in lines with three feet of personal space in all directions.

The country’s nationalist party has made judicial changes that E.U. leaders say threaten independence and turned public television into the government’s propaganda arm.

Details: Polls said Mr. Duda received about 41 percent of the vote and Mr. Trzaskowski about 30 percent, with official results set to be released today. Mr. Trzaskowski has promised to draw the country closer to the European Union and to protect the rights of the L.G.B.T. community, while Mr. Duda has attacked homosexuality as an ideology comparable to communism.

New Irish prime minister: After four months of negotiations, Ireland’s Parliament has appointed Micheal Martin, a center-right politician, to lead as the country deals with the coronavirus, Brexit and fallout from a housing crisis. France also held municipal elections on Sunday.

If you have 15 minutes, this is worth it

A crucial warning ignored as the virus silently spread

Dr. Camilla Rothe, above, and her colleagues at Munich University Hospital were among the first to warn the world that people without symptoms could spread the coronavirus.

But even as evidence mounted from other scientists about symptomless transmission, health officials dismissed the finding. Our reporters pieced together why a crucial warning was ignored early in the pandemic as the virus was fanning unnoticed in French churches, Italian soccer stadiums and Austrian ski bars.

Here’s what else is happening

Wirecard: Investigators are still trying to piece together how one of Germany’s most feted companies fell from grace. Its auditors said last week that the company had engaged in fraud, but skeptics had long questioned the company’s worldwide revenue.

U.S. presidential campaign: Polls show that President Trump is losing support among a once-loyal group — older white voters — who have soured on the Republican Party and are largely backing Joe Biden in the six most important battleground states.

Russia: Kirill Serebrennikov, one of Russia’s most prominent directors, was convicted on Friday on an embezzlement charge that was widely seen as manufactured to justify a crackdown on independent theater.

Pride: Celebrations this year were cut back over coronavirus concerns, but Taiwan, which has controlled its outbreak, was able to hold an in-person event on Sunday, with a rainbow flag-led procession in central Taipei.

What we’re reading: This Rolling Stone profile of the largely forgotten singer-songwriter David Blue “reads like a classic detective story, with stops in the Greenwich Village of Bob Dylan, the Laurel Canyon of Joni Mitchell, the Montreal of Leonard Cohen — and a final scene you won’t be able to shake,” says Steve Reddicliffe, the deputy editor of the international edition of The Times.

Now, a break from the news

Cook: These crunchy-topped corn muffins use up whatever fruit you have around. They’re perfect for breakfast, warm, with softened butter on the side.

Read: Seven years after “Crazy Rich Asians,” Kevin Kwan is back — but Asia is not. His new novel, “Sex and Vanity,” begins with a very touristy idyll in Capri, then goes back home to Manhattan and the Hamptons, with one eye on Hollywood at all times.

Do: If you’re interested in strong, healthy muscles but wearied by burpees in the living room, you may want to consider heading to the nearest park for weight training. Here’s how to work out without a gym.

Staying safe at home is easier when you have plenty of things to read, cook, watch and do. At Home has our full collection of ideas.

And now for the Back Story on …

‘Hamilton’: A musical game changer

Michael Paulson has been covering theater at The Times since 2015. During those years, he’s written more than 100 articles that prominently mention “Hamilton,” a musical that explores America’s revolutionary origins through the life of Alexander Hamilton.

Now, “Hamilton” is streaming on Disney Plus, starting on July 3. Here’s an excerpt from what Michael wrote about his time on the Hamilbeat.

I sensed right from the start that this musical, with its cast made up mostly of actors of color and its score influenced by hip-hop and pop music, was going to be a huge story. I remember being determined, that summer, to land an article about the production on the front page, convinced that the paper needed to make a big early statement about the show as a game-changing reflection on our culture, our politics and our history. Ultimately, the Page 1 gods agreed. I was traveling in Spain when it happened; I felt so affirmed that I didn’t mind the time-zone-busting copy desk questions.

A feature that followed about Lin-Manuel Miranda’s musical upbringing was particularly fun to report — as we explored the Venn diagram in which show tunes and hip-hop overlap, he started playing random songs from his iTunes library and riffing about what each one meant to him.

The story I waited longest for was about Miranda’s relationship to Puerto Rico, where his parents grew up and where he spent his childhood summers. The island’s influence on his art had always struck me as significant and underexplored. I knew the best way to tell that story would be to see Puerto Rico through his eyes, at least as much as a journalist can, and when he announced that he was bringing “Hamilton” to San Juan, I had my peg. I asked to meet him there, and in fall 2018 he agreed; a devastating hurricane and campus unrest made the story more complex than either he or I could have anticipated, and I’m glad we did it.

That’s it for this briefing. Here’s Christian Löffler playing from a French castle to start your Monday.

— Isabella

Thank you To Melissa Clark for the recipe, and to Theodore Kim and Jahaan Singh for the rest of the break from the news. You can reach the team at briefing@nytimes.com.

P.S. • We’re listening to “The Daily.” Our latest episode is chronicling the human condition with one of the most influential photographers in history, Robert Frank. • Here’s today’s Mini Crossword puzzle, and a clue: Silly and frivolous (five letters). You can find all our puzzles here. • Dean Baquet, our executive editor, spoke to Longform Podcast about leading change at The New York Times.

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