#'I thought it was pronounced calliope' I MISS YOU SO MUCH

[phantom-does-a-thing]

I MISS SASHAAAAAAAAA

[phoebenavarro]

and on you stumble on (ch 1)

part 6 of my Jon trusting Tim s2 AU, we’ve reached the end of season 2! woo let’s go

the magnus archives, established JonTim, pre JonMarTim, 1642 words

read this part and the rest of the series on ao3 here

Jon sits, frozen, as his mind struggles to process everything. He told Tim what Melanie said about Sasha, the two Sashas, but he’d kept the rest of his little investigation to himself. It wasn’t fair to Tim, but Sasha is a delicate subject for him, and Jon wanted to be sure. And maybe, as long as he kept it to himself, it wouldn’t be real. Sasha wouldn’t have been replaced by a monster that looks nothing like her, the real her. But the time for that willful denial is over now; he knows the truth, much as he wishes he could change it. Sasha’s dead, and she has been since Prentiss.

Tim. He has to tell Tim. He deserves to know, and he deserves to help kill it.

Especially after the tapes. The tapes with the real Sasha’s voice on them. He presses play on the recorder with a shaking hand, and the voice he still can’t recognize as Sasha’s crackles through the speakers. He sits there and listens and hates himself for not figuring it out sooner. That thing hasn’t even been trying to be like Sasha, the real Sasha, and he still didn’t realize that his friend had been replaced by a monster.

He’s listening to the tape—her statement about her encounter with Michael—for a third time when the door to his office opens.

“Alright boss, you about ready to go?” Tim asks cheerfully, striding in, but he freezes when he sees the distressed look on Jon’s face. “Jon. What’s wrong?”

“I, um…” Jon says, at a loss for words.

“What happened? Did Michael come back?”

“What? No, no…” Jon sighs and rubs his eyes. He’s so tired. “No, it— it’s not that. I suppose it’s easier if I show you.” He gestures Tim over to his desk. “Do you remember what Melanie King said, about there being two Sashas?” Tim nods slowly.

“Yeah, what— did you figure out what’s going on?”

Jon sighs again. “Yes. Tim… I’m sorry.” He hands Tim the paper copies of the statements. Tim frowns, but he doesn’t say anything, he just starts reading. Jon tries not to stare at him while he reads, heartbroken for him and a little bit terrified for how he’s going to react. Jon’s own grief for Sasha hasn’t hit him yet, he’s too preoccupied with thinking about what they’re going to do now. He’s got a plan forming, but that will entirely depend on what Tim wants to do.

Tim sets the papers down and rubs his eyes. “Fuck,” he swears quietly. “That’s it, then. She’s dead,” his voice is disturbingly flat, and Jon aches to reach out to him, to comfort his boyfriend, but Jon’s never seen him like this.

“I’m sorry,” Jon says, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

“When did it happen?” Tim asks.

“I uh… It seems like it was during the Prentiss attack, when she got separated from Elias and ran into Artifact Storage.” Tim breathes in sharply and swears again under his breath.

“She hated Artifact Storage,” Tim says quietly.

“I know.”

“Or are our memories of her even real? If this thing could replace her and change what she looked like in our minds, why couldn’t it completely change everything?”

“I… I don’t know,” Jon admits, “It’s certainly possible, but we can’t— we can’t start questioning every little memory. I think that’s what it wants, what it feeds on, and besides, it’s just not feasible.”

“Yeah,” Tim says quietly. Jon reaches for his hand, trying to find some way to comfort Tim, to make this news a little more bearable. Tim lets him.

“I think our memories are our own,” Jon continues, “I mean, we both remember her being different before the Prentiss attack. She… changed. We both noticed. We didn’t know why she changed, but we definitely noticed.”

Tim nods, but he doesn’t say anything, so Jon just launches into the next thing he needs to tell Tim about.

“I-I found the missing tapes,” Jon says, and he chuckles bitterly, “They were in Sasha’s desk. Not even well hidden, almost like it wanted us to find them. Finally figured out what those tapes had in common, they all had Sasha— the real Sasha’s voice on them.

Tim cocks his head. “How do you mean? I thought the monster changed pictures and recordings too.”

“Yes, but not polaroid photos, for some reason, and apparently not tape recordings.”

Tim’s breath hitches. “So, what’s on the tapes— that’s real?” Jon nods.

Tim swallows. “Can I— Can I listen to them?” he asks, and Jon’s chest feels tight.

“Y-yes, of course,” Jon says, and he starts rewinding the tape with Sasha’s statement. “I-I don’t think you want to listen to all of them, a-at least not right now, one of them is from the Prentiss attack, when it h-happened.”

“I need to know what happened, Jon,” Tim says, “I need to know how, if it was painful, if she…” Tim trails off. Jon thinks about Sasha’s scream, and he shudders.

“It was awful. I wish I hadn’t heard it. And- And I don’t think there’s much point to you listening to it if you’re just going to use it to punish yourself for not doing anything about it.” Tim glares at him, but Jon keeps his voice steady. “I know you, and I know you’re gonna blame yourself, but it wasn’t your fault.”

Tim mutters, “Yeah, right,” and he turns his head to stare at the floor.

The tape finishes rewinding, and Jon presses play without another word. They listen in silence as the Sasha on the tape tells her story, Tim gripping Jon’s hand so hard that it hurts. Jon can’t help but be hyper focused on every one of Tim’s reactions, every sharp intake of breath, every sigh, every small exhale of laughter. Jon remembers Sasha being funny, and it seems like she was. Jon notices a few tears on Tim’s face, and he pulls Tim close to put an arm around him.

When it ends, Tim wipes his eyes with his free hand.

“I still can’t believe she did something that reckless,” he says, “She was always going on about being the rational one.” Jon smiles. He moves to switch the tape out for the one where Sasha interrupted him to talk about the proper way to pronounce calliope, and he fast forwards to around the point where she walked in. Tim listens just as intently, like he’s trying to catalogue every little thing he can gleam about the real Sasha from these tapes. Then the Jon on the tape resumes reading his statement, and they let it play out in the quiet of the office.

Eventually, the tape ends, and Jon stops it. Jon looks to Tim expectantly, but Tim is staring at the wall with a far-away look in his eyes.

“What are we going to do about that- that thing pretending to be Sasha?” Tim asks, finally breaking the silence.

“Ah,” Jon says, “I’ve been thinking about that. It’s tied to the table, so it seems like destroying the table will kill it, or at least weaken it.”

Tim nods slowly. “Makes as much sense as anything else around here.” He runs a hand through his hair. “When?”

“Tonight? After everyone’s gone home, artifact storage will be empty.”

Absently, Tim presses a kiss to Jon’s hand. “I’m not letting this go, by the way. I want to listen to all of those tapes. But… Maybe you’re right. Maybe now isn’t the best time.”

“That’s reasonable, I suppose,” Jon replies.

Tim stares off into space again for a few minutes, clearly thinking, before he speaks again.

“Should we tell Martin? In case something happens?”

“No,” Jon says immediately, and he can’t ignore the panic that rises in his chest when he thinks about getting Martin involved in this, “No, he’ll insist on staying to help and I won’t put him in any more danger.”

Thankfully, Tim agrees. “Yeah,” he says, “He’ll be pissed when he finds out, though.”

Jon thinks back to the stern lecture Martin had given them on trust, on treating him like an adult, and when he thinks about how Martin is going to react when he finds out, he does feel guilty. Just this, he thinks, This is the last thing we’ll keep him in the dark about.

“We can deal with Martin being angry at us, if we live, but I can’t lose anyone else. It’s my job to protect you all, and I’ve already failed Sasha…”

“Hey, no—“

Jon cuts him off, “I know it wasn’t my fault, what happened to Sasha, wasn’t anyone’s fault, really, but I should have been able to protect her. And Tim, if I could, I’d send you home too, deal with this on my own.”

“Jon…”

“I know you won’t go, you’re too stubborn, and I won’t make you, because I know this is just as important to you. But I’d rather you be safe.”

“How do you think I feel?” Tim says, “That’s two of the most important people in my life, dead, and I did nothing to stop it.” Jon opens his mouth to protest, but Tim plows on, "I don’t want you to be number three, and it seems like, as Archivist, you’ve got a target painted on your back. I also know that you’re too damn stubborn not to put yourself in danger, and well, we’ve got a better chance of not dying if we do it together.”

“I certainly hope so,” Jon agrees, “Have I mentioned recently how much I love you?”

“Once or twice,” Tim replies, “I love you too. Now how exactly are we going to go about killing this thing?”

“Did you know, it is remarkably easy to buy an axe in central London?”

Tim smiles.

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 1

The Case of the The Pernicious Party  

Hello, hello, hello! It’s been a hot second but your resident D20 recapper is back to tackle the newest season: Mice and Murder! Y’all had to know I wasn’t gonna sit out the murder mystery, are you kidding me???

I might be playing around with the format a bit in the coming weeks to make sure I have the best possible system for keeping track of possible clues, suspects, and theories as we untangle whatever web Brennan weaves for us this season so don’t be surprised if things change a little. 

Anyway, without further ado, onto our mystery!

Summary

In case you missed it, this season takes place in an alternate, Zootopia/Wind in the Willows-esque universe where all the characters are animals but history seems to have happened in more or less the same way--for example there was still a King Charles but he was a King Charles Spaniel (cute Brennan). Our story specifically takes place in the English village of Tufting Meadows.  

We start with Katie’s character--Gangie Green (Weasel/Thief Rogue) in the graveyard of the Anglican Chapel (Our Lady of Prayerful Paws). Gangie, we learn, is an orphan who was kicked out of the orphanage at some point for thievery. Obviously, he’s not reformed of the habit because he is here to do some graverobbing. On a nat 20 (that Katie hilariously doesn’t notice even though her total is like a 29) Gangie can see through the window of the rectory that there is a weeping window inside--Catherine McCabbage who is being (dubiously) tended to by Raph’s character, Vicar Ian Prescott (Owl/Bard, College of Eloquence). 

Ian comes from a line of men of the cloth but he’s not exactly the best speaker despite his subclass. He’s doing his best though! The widow’s husband (Conor McCabbage) died at the local mill in what has been declared an accident but she suspects foul play. She’s been hearing his voice on the wind and wants Ian’s professional opinion on whether this could be a sign from God or if her husband might be speaking to her from beyond the grave or something like that. Ian gives a very muddled and not very comforting answer but seems pretty sure that something sketchy did in fact happen. Then, he sees a crack of lightning outside which illuminates the graveyard where he gets a glimpse of Gangie. 

He goes to check it out (and Gangie fully has an elderly goat he’s dug up slung over his shoulder) but “gravedigger” is his legit job so Ian decides to assume whatever’s going on is legit and not ask too many questions. He goes back to the widow (who, before she leaves, says that maybe sometimes people need to work on God’s behalf) while Gangie takes the body Loam Hall (a massive manor, built into a hill).

We cut to the next day and our next two characters! 

At 22B Hamsted Street in a pretty well appointed home are Ally and Grant’s characters. First up, we have Lars Vandenchomp (Huge ass Doberman/Battlemaster Fighter) who is so tough looking but also so Swedish sounding--it’s A Lot (so, incredibly on brand for Ally). Lars is security for Grant’s character Sylvester Cross (Fox/Inquisitive Rogue) who is a kinda (to use Grant’s word) “foppish” Sherlock Holmes type. He was hired by Squire William Thornwall Brockhollow to figure out what happened with Conor McCabbage (and clear him of negligence in running the mill) but he couldn’t find any evidence of any funny business, making this the only case he’s never cracked. He’s not as young or popular as he once was so this is, understandably, bumming him out. He’s even more bummed out when he realizes that William has invited him to his 60th birthday party that’s happening that night (as kind of a prop to show that he did his part in trying to solve the mystery) and Lars has already RSVP’d yes. He grudgingly agrees to go as it’s one of those asks that’s really more of a veiled demand but decides to pull the money he was paid from the bank first so he can return it and really stick it to the guy.

Finally, we cut to our last set of PCs who are on their way to Tufting Meadows via a very luxurious train. Inside are Sam and Rekha’s characters! Sam is Buckster $ Boyd (Peccary which is like a small boar/Mastermind Rouge) a Texan Oil Tycoon who acts exactly how you’d expect a Texan Oil Pig to act. Yes, you pronounce the dollar sign as “dollar sign” (even though as we find out later his middle name is Cassius so it’s like Cash which I think is super cool). With him is Rekha’s character, Daisy D'umpstaire (Raccoon/Assassin (???) Rogue another American (from South Carolina) though it seems she’s My Fair Lady’d herself into an upper class socialite (her last name was previously Dumpster). They’re traveling with their accountant, an Armadillo named Armond who seems kinda skittish and concerned about their travel expenses but Buck tells him that to make money you gotta spend money and they’re gonna make a *ton* of money on this trip. They’re also so so mean to him for absolutely no reason. 

When the train stops, they’re greeted by Templeton Padhop (a frog, natch) who is the chauffeur of Loan Hall, sent to fetch them. A wheel on his car is broken so he joins in on the Armond abuse immediately and has Armond roll into an Armadillo ball and replace it. Poor guy. When they show up they're greeted by a footman--a pug in a bowler hat named Milo Snout.

Meanwhile, Lars and Sly (Oh, Sly fox, I see what you did there Grant) are similarly greeted by another footman--a lizard named Basil Baskins. On a 23 perception check, Lars sees that Jeremy “Jez” Brockhollow is inside (the son of William who is a badger btw) and also clocks Gangie (who they know as a career criminal who disappeared like a year ago). Gangie doesn’t notice Lars though. 

Ian, who is also invited, shows up at about the same time as Sly but very quickly, the conversation is taken over by Lucretia “Lucy” Brockhollow, William’s older, eccentric sister who immediately gets into it with Lars about astrology and the occult (she thinks bad stuff is happening because of a curse let loose when Sly’s old rival--a rabbit named Fletcher Cottonbottom who is the son of his former employer--opened an Egyptian tomb). They’re thick as thieves right away because Ally is a nonsense magnet. And not like a regular magnet, one of those big electromagnets. 

Daisy and Buck spot William’s kids--the aforementioned Jez and his older sister Constance--along with their husbands Dr. Corbin Magpie (Constance’s and obv a magpie and a doctor) and Osmond Sheffield (Jez’s who is a Ram and a lawyer). Daisy is too stuck in her conversation with a truly unhinged squirrel (Lady Eugenia Bristlebrush who clearly does not know she’s in a murder mystery because she just keeps talking about how much she hates and wants to kill everyone) to hear what’s going on but she indicates the conversation to Buck who is able to eavesdrop and hear that they’re lamenting that Catherine--the widow--RSVP’d no which is gonna look really bad, like they didn’t invite her (bad PR). 

Buck, introducing himself as a business partner of William, eases into a conversation with the husbands which their respective spouses also join into and we learn that Buck's dad was British and a friend of Willian’s. Buck bonds with Jez (who is a bit of a dilettante) really quickly since Buck is ready to go drinks-wise immediately (and there’s a stellar pun about the “American [Drinking] Constitution''). Through the window, Buck notices Gangie outside getting his attention. 

At the same time, Ian is going from party guest to party guest, giving out the penances he forgot to earlier at church (as one does). We see him talking to the Lord and Lady Bramble (a cow and hedgehog, respectively) and while she wants to pray her way out of situations without doing any legwork, he wants to buy his way out and gives Ian 250 pounds. A frustrating but financially lucrative conversation.  

Buck goes outside to talk to Gangie who has a list of names of the bodies he’s been collecting. We’re not told what Buck is doing but it seems that this list is extremely valuable to him in some way. Gangie (who Buck keeps calling Gangly, to his annoyance) pays him handsomely (like, with a 50% tip) for the list (and Gangie gives him the real list, despite Brennan saying he didn’t have to). We also learn that Gangie has allegedly been getting the orders from someone in Loa Hall and they flow from William himself.

Matilda Molesly (a mole and the head maid) invites Gangie to come in from the rain--she’s the only person who’s been consistently nice to him and he agrees to come in for tea and scones. 

Everyone is ushered together by the butler (because of course there’s a butler--he’s quite literally a fancy rat named Thomas Gilfoyle) and William gives a speech where he wishes Conor well and kinda highlights that he did hire Sly to solve the case in a “Hey, I did my bit don’t blame me” kind of way. He also makes a 150k pound donation to the church (and Ian thought 250 was good) and tells his daughter not to read the praise he got for it from the cardinal when she mentions it (I wonder if that was choreographed). Sly interrupts the speech to “magnanimously” give his money back, to William’s annoyance. Buck notices that Lawrence Longfoot (a nouveau rich, rabbit photographer) takes a pic of the scene but with Sly in the foreground and William in the background. 

Then, a few things happen at once (in a very cinematic way):

As the camera flashes, Mrs. Molesly drops her tray, eyes hurt by the light. Lady Calliope Fawnbrooke (Deer, Matron of the Arts) helps her up.

In the moment of dark, after the flash goes away, the butler disappears. 

Buck thinks he sees a shape through the window, out in the rain. 

A cheer goes up for Sly for returning the money but all Sly can focus on is one figure he recognizes in the back of the room. Daisy, who is downing her drink and not cheering for him. He downs his as well, and looks at her until she breaks the stare and leaves the room. 

And this episode doesn’t end with a dead body like I thought, but with a flashback to a younger Sylvester, 12 years ago when he first met Daisy.

PC INTERPERSONAL DRAMA Y’ALL!!! Get HYPED! 

Case Notes

Here is a compilation of all the characters (PCs and NPCs introduced in this episode). 

Sly mentions that Ignatius Cottonbottom faked his own death as a part of some scheme which seems like a backstory point that might come back later--we now know that there exists a way to convincingly fake your own death in this world. 

Sly walks with a walking stick because of some “mysterious accident” but we’re jumping into a flashback next week so it looks like we might find out about it pretty soon. 

Sly also mentions he used to be the personal physician to the elder Cottonbottom so those are skills he has. I wonder if that’ll be useful to this healer-less party. I wonder if cleric was even an option in this world which seems to be low to no magic. It would explain by Ian is a bad and not a cleric. 

Lars has a military background which I wanted to mention in case it becomes relevant later. 

And Dr. Magpie grew up poor and still acts it a bit even though he married a very rich woman. Brennan uses the very good line, “He forces his body into the shape of an apology”

This might be a really deep cut reference but did anyone else here was the old Britcom “Keeping Up Appearances”? Cause I was getting serious Bouquet/Bucket energy from Daisy. 

This is an all College Humor season and it shows. The energy of 6 (7 if you count Brennan) top notch comedians sparking off of each other, trying to one up each other is off the charts. Some of the best bits this episode:

“When God closes every door but one, you go through the door that is open.” followed by “I’m an owl by the way.”

“Time is money, here’s both” from Buck re his inscribed gold pocket watch--everyone at the table loved that so much and they’re right. 

Armond going from being a third to a fourth wheel. 

And the names--I already shouted out a ton on the main recap but also a rat butler (like Rhett Butler) and naming the mouse Cat(therine). Can’t forget Gangie Green/gangrene from Katie. Also points to Ally for the data stealing Eel Musk which broke Brennan a little. 

I know we just went through this with Crown of Candy but what are these animals eating? Like, in Zootopia there were only mammals so we can assume the carnivores are eating like birds and fish but there are sentient birds here. I know this isn’t important. I’m not trying to do a CinemaSins gotcha. I just wonder, you know?

Y’all were waiting for all the lights to go out during that speech and then come back on and there’d be a body too, right?

If Brennan makes the bad guy a chicken or a duck or something so he can make a “fowl play” joke, he is cordially invited to catch these hands. 

I have been waiting for Raph and Katie to do D20 forever. Their specific brand of nonsense on Rank Room was always amazing. 

I love love love that Grant and Rekha are the PCs that have ~a past~ because they are so funny together. If you haven’t seen their episode of Game Changers, you absolutely must (it’s also a murder mystery actually!). 

[catgirlthecrazy]

Imposter Syndrome

Fanfic partially inspired by episode 161, and also these excellent bits of Archivist Sasha AU/Not!Jon related fanart by @skyberia

AO3

Summary: Martin doesn't have much left of the real Jonathan Sims. He doesn't even have a face. Not a real one. Just a recording on a tape recorder.

************************

"Come on…" Martin strains against the super glue cap. "Come on." The damn thing won't move. Frustrated, knowing it's a dumb idea but with no better ones to hand, Martin grips the cap between his teeth and twists.

"What are you doing?"

Martin yelps and fumbles the glue bottle. He frantically grabs for it, but his flailing arms just knock the tape recorder off the table and send it clattering onto the floor. He scrambles to pick it up. Please don't be broken, please don't be broken. There doesn't seem to be any damage. No new damage, anyway.

(He fails to notice that the record button was pressed on by the fall)

Jonathan Sims, Martin's fellow archival assistant and target of an extremely inconvenient crush, raises an eyebrow at him. "Um, sorry, I didn't see you there. You startled me." Curse Jon and his inconvenient good looks. He'd always had a weakness for dark hair and hawklike features.

Jon grunts. "I suppose that's to be expected, given the circumstances." He glances around the storage room. "No worms?"

"What? No, not in here, anyway. I've seen a few around the institute. Been stomping on all of them. Kind of satisfying, really."

Jon grimaces. "Lovely. You never answered my question by the way."

Martin racks his brain, but the last few minutes are a fuzzy, giddy panic to him. "Sorry, which question is that?"

Jon makes an inpatient noise. "What you were doing just now." He motions with his hand.

Martin glances at the tape recorder. "Oh, that. Just trying to fix the tape recorder."

"You? Fix a tape recorder? I thought your degree was in parapsychology."

Guilt gnaws at his insides. Martin does not want Jon thinking too much about his qualifications. "It's nothing complicated! Just one of the buttons broke off. Thought I'd try and glue it back on." He looks at the glue bottle morosely. "Or at least, I was. This seems to be glued shut."

"And you thought you'd pry it off… with your teeth? You do realize that's a good way to end up in A&E with your mouth glued shut." The raised eyebrow is back. He's good at that. Unfairly good at it. It makes Martin's insides leap with excitement. It also makes him want to curl up in a corner and die of embarrassment.

"I know, I know, it was stupid. I'm just frustrated, I guess."

"Understandable, I suppose. Not exactly pleasant accommodations here in storage." Jon pauses. "Are you alright down here? Do you have everything you need?"

"What, me? Oh I'm fine. Totally fine. No need to worry about me." He laughs nervously.

"I believe current circumstances have proven there is plenty of cause to worry." Jon coughs and looks away, his cheeks darkening. Martin has to suppress a lovesick grin. Jon always does this when he crosses his own personal definition of professional boundaries. Which as far as Martin can tell, encompass pretty much anything approaching genuine friendship. Not that Jon is very good at staying inside those boundaries these days. Not since the Prentiss incident.

"Anyway," Jon says, recovering himself. "Do you still have those files on Pinhole Books? Sasha said she'd assigned them to you." He's all business now, as if he hadn't just unbent enough to be outright friendly.

"Those? I think they're somewhere in my desk. Why?"

"Just looking into a few things related to Leitner."

"Alright. I'll try to find them after lunch."

Jon nods, and starts to leave, but hesitates. "You might want to try hot water." He leaves.

Martin heaves a heartfelt sigh. Then he realizes the tape recorder has been recording the whole time.

***

Months later, Jane Prentiss attacks. Jonathan Sims flees into Artifact Storage to hide. Something else comes out.

***

"Here you are Martin."

Martin blinks bleary eyes at the steaming mug that's just been set in front of him. He looks up to see Jon, a kind expression in his eyes. "You made me tea?"

"Of course." Jon smiles down at him. "You do it for me often enough. Seemed only fair."

"Wow, um. Thanks." Martin sips the tea. It's brewed exactly how he likes it: hot and strong with plenty of cream and sugar. "This is… this is really good!"

"Glad to hear it. And how've you been doing? It must be good to have your own place again."

"Not bad. Got a new flat not far from the old one." He'd lost the lease on the old place during his months in the archives. Not that he could have stomached going back there. There might still be worms. "Still unpacking boxes from the old place. At least the neighbors are quiet."

Jon nods. "Say, Tim and I were going to step out a bit early for drinks tonight. You want to come?"

Martin straightens. "Y- yeah, that'd be great." At that point, Sasha pops in with questions about the Herbert Knox file, and the conversation ends. Jon gives him a little wave and wanders back to his desk.

It isn't until later that Martin realizes: the rushing giddiness is gone. He'd had an entire conversation with Jon being nothing but nice to him, and his insides hadn't done one single swoop. He's still plenty fond of the man, but only that. Is his crush evaporating already? That was quick. Martin had expected to be pining after Jon for months yet.

It's probably for the best. Nothing would have come of it, except possibly Martin making a fool of himself. More of a fool of himself. And really, it's remarkable Martin ever had a thing for him to begin with. He doesn't usually go for blond hair.

***

Sasha takes Tim and Martin out to lunch. That's not particularly unusual. Jon is out following up a case, so he can't come, but that's not unheard of either. It isn't until she leads them away from their usual place and towards a park that Martin worries. He's not at all prepared for what she tells them.

"What do you remember about 0070107? Amy Patel's statement?"

Martin and Tim glance at each other. "That's the one where her neighbor was eaten and replaced by an evil drain pipe, right?" Tim said.

"I remember something about… changing photos?" Martin ventures.

Sasha pulls out a tape recorder. She doesn't look at it as she presses play. She doesn't even look at them. She's staring at some indefinite point in space to Martin's left, like it's a window to hell. The recorder plays.

"You're aware it's pronounced Kuh-ly-o-pee, right?" A man's voice, acerbic and dry, that Martin doesn't recognize.

"Really? I've always heard it pronounced ka-lee-o-pee." Sasha's voice.

"I suppose technically there's no correct pronunciation. But the organs are named after the Greek muse Calliope, so…"

Tim frowns. "Isn't that Leanne Denikin's statement? Who's that you're talking to?"

Sasha closes her eyes. "Jonathan Sims. The real one."

***

It takes them a week to find a way to deal with NotJon. During that week, Martin has to pretend that nothing has changed. That he isn't aware that his coworker and one time crush has been replaced by this… thing that calls itself his name. Martin has to smile when he says hello. Thank him when he brings tea. Laugh when he tells a joke. Just like normal.

(Were any of those things normal Jon behavior?)

Sasha's background in artifact storage provides the answer: an old diving bell with a penchant for disappearing people to infinite crushing depths. In his nightmares, Martin can still the the way the thing distorted, when it realized it had been caught. The way its limbs stretched into a grotesque parody of the human form as dark water sucked it in.

And then… things are normal again. There isn't even a police investigation. Jon apparently had no surviving family to raise a fuss about his disappearance. They get drinks, but even that is hard. It's hard to remember which of their fond stories belong to the real Jon, and which to the imposter.

***

One day, Martin finds an unmarked tape in the storage room. Thinking it's an old poetry tape he forgot to label, he pops it in a recorder to play. He could use a pick me up.

It's not poetry. The recording starts with a loud clatter, like the recorder being dropped. Then, Martin's voice. "Um, sorry, I didn't see you there. You startled me ."

"I suppose that's to be expected, given the circumstances ." A man's voice. Acerbic and dry. Martin can't breathe. He remembers this conversation. The voice on the tape is saying all the words that Martin remembers. It's not the same voice.

How long has this tape been sitting here? NotJon had hidden all the tapes containing the real Jon's voice, but apparently he'd missed this one. If Martin had found this earlier, if he'd managed to keep his poetry tapes in some kind of order for once … But Jon had already been dead by the time Martin had first met the imposter. His research on the NotThem made that abundantly clear. They might have caught on sooner. But it wouldn't have saved him.

"You never answered my question by the way."

"Sorry, which question is that?"

God. Had it really been that obvious, how much he'd liked Jon? Martin on the tape sounds like his head has floated off like a child's lost balloon. Jon's annoyance is audible even via tape. He remembers recognizing it as cover for genuine concern. It's so totally unlike the kind, smiling man Martin has known for the past year. How the hell did he never notice the switch?

Maybe he had. Hadn't his crush dissipated around that time? That makes Martin queasy to think about, but he clings to it anyways. That crush might be the truest thing he has left for Jon.

"Are you alright down here? Do you have everything you need?"

Martin blinks away wet, stinging tears. He remembers clear as day the kind and concerned look on Jon's face as he'd said these exact words. Except… those memories were fake. Had the real Jon looked at him like that? What would that even look like? Martin still doesn't know what the real Jon looked like. All he has is Melanie's vague description ("Short. Greying hair. Bit of an arsehole. Definitely not white."). All Martin's photos show only the imposter. He hasn't been able to find any Polaroids. God knows he's tried. He spent a week tracking down old yearbooks and photo albums and anything else he could think of. Plenty of photos of the imposter at varying ages. Nothing else.

Martin tries to construct an image of Jon. Take the few details he does have and paste them over the memories of the imposter. It feels less real than the fake.

Maybe that's the real horror of this monster. When someone you care about dies, you can normally take comfort in your memories of them. The NotThem has stolen that from him. No, worse than stolen. Corrupted. Taken Martin's memories of Jon and plastered them over with a false, smiling face.

All he has now is a tape and a voice.

[annelixa]

Trust Chapter 8

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Can also be read on AO3

Summary: Cassandra seeks Varian shortly after she stole the Moonstone so that she can use his intellectual gifts. Lucky for her, no one seems to be telling him what happened at the Dark Kingdom and he still sees her as the wise and trusted person he always knew. Utilizing that image of herself, she takes him for herself while under the guise of protection.

Fandom: Tangled the Series

Before the Sun had risen that morning, Cass had slipped out of the cottage. She wasn’t worried about Varian wondering where she gone at this point. With all she had to do, she didn’t spend too much time in the small cottage with him so he was used to it. Instead of looking for her, he’d go to the kitchen to find a note explaining when she should expect to return. They had started the system weeks ago and it was working well for them.

Not wasting any time, she jumped into the balloon that she had prepared the previous night and slowly rose into the sky with her mentor at her side. Currently the girl was leaning against the side, examining her gloves.

“What is your plan exactly?” she asked.

“It’ll be simple,” the warrior replied, sure of herself. “I know what the Keeper looks like so I’ll disguise myself as him using that cloak you told me about then question her about the location of the Mind Trap. Calliope is easy to fool and if I lure her into a false sense of security, she’ll simply lead us to what we want.” Cass quickly checked the hot air balloon’s controls to make sure they were functioning properly. “We should be in and out in less than half an hour.” She paused for a moment then rolled her eyes. “An hour at the longest. It depends on how much she talks.”

The girl had approved and the rest of the trip was spent in silence.

Sneaking into the Keeper’s home had been simple and the cloak had been spotted only seconds after entering; it was the only cloak in sight. It was slipped on and she felt an odd tingling as her form change to appear as the aged Keeper of the Spire. Her bones lengthened to reach his taller height but also weakened, especially in her back as she hunched over slightly. The form was not comfortable, she felt strange aches and pains all over her body and it kept trying to fold in on itself seemingly only from her meager weight. This Keeper really needed to get some exercise before he dropped, she thought. Trying to hurry things up, she hobbled over to the door and slammed it closed. If Calliope was home, she would surely hear that and come to investigate.

On cue, the short woman suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs, running down them.

“Keeper!” she called, excited to see her mentor.

Cass forced a smile onto the Keeper’s face, trying to make it look as sincere as possible as the other woman’s voice already threatened to annoy her.

“Good morning, Calliope,” she called kindly. “I came to check in on you. I’ve heard rumors of thieves in the area and wanted to make sure and our artifacts were safe.”

“Thieves?” the student cried indignantly. “Well I can promise you they haven’t gotten in here. I’ve been keeping everything safe.”

She started to walk around the room, indicating and explaining several items. Starting to lose her patience, Cass cut her off.

“It does seem that all seems to be in place here but what about in the Spire? You are aware we keep the most important and dangerous artifacts in there. If any were to go missing, it would be disastrous.”

She tried to mimic the way the other believed the word was meant to be pronounced. It seemed to work because Calliope didn’t comment on it or find anything off. Instead, she hurried to lead them to the top. Lucky for Cass, she seemed to have learned a faster way up from the real Keeper and the climb did not take nearly as long as the previous trip.

“Here we are!” she announced, stopping in front of the large doors. A key was pulled off her belt and used to unlock the doors. They stepped inside and the pair started to check that nothing was missing. Cass picked up a small box and behind her, her mentor confirmed this was the box they were searching for. She called the woman over.

“Calliope. We must make sure that the Mind Trap is still here. We cannot allow it to fall into the wrong hands.”

Nodding, another key was fished out and the box popped open only moments later. A fake sigh of relief escaped her mouth as she stared at the object she had come to steal. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed her mentor reach forward and knock one of the artifacts to the ground. Surprised, Calliope spun on her heel to see what had happened. Using her momentary distraction, the warrior slipped the blue stone from the box and hid it under the cloak. Closing the box, she set it back on its shelf and approached the student.

Calliope was picking up a small orb and setting it carefully back on the correct shelf.

“Thank goodness that didn’t shatter,” Cass called.

“Seriously,” Calliope agreed, going on to explain what the artifact did but Cass didn’t pay attention. She had what she came for and was ready to get back before she was discovered.

“Everything appears to still be here. Good work, Calliope. I feel the Spire is safe in your hands.” Brightening at the compliment, Calliope didn’t even think to double check the box she had opened. “I must leave you here though. I still have much to do and you have to return to your studies.”

The pair left the large vault, the student securely locking the door once more, before separating.

A grin crossed Cass’ face as she returned to where she had stored the balloon. All went according to plan.

* * *

The Sun was high in the sky as she stepped back into the cottage. Once again, Varian was waiting for her, Ruddiger wrapped around his neck.

“Good afternoon,” she greeted which he returned.

“I’ve been working hard,” Varian started. “I designed some new halberds that shouldn’t break so easily.”

Smiling at him, she ruffled his hair.

“I look forward to seeing it.” From a pocket of the cloak she still had draped around her shoulders, she retrieved the large stone. “We need to keep this safe. My father snuck it to me this morning. He said that it’s an old royal family heirloom that they were worried could be stolen. It’s a very powerful magical artifact that could be devastating if used against them.” She held it out to him and he was able to study the stone closer. It was light blue with a symbol of some kind etched into it. It seemed familiar but he couldn’t place it. “Since we are in an impenetrable building they thought it would be safe with us. Can you put this in my room while I see what you made today?” she asked sincerely.

Excited to be trusted with something so significant, Varian grabbed the stone and hurried to her room. It was carefully placed on what he assumed to be her desk. He started to turn to leave the room when something caught his eye.

Something was laying on the floor, somewhat concealed by the bed. Normally he wasn’t one to dig through other people’s belongings but an odd thought was nagging at him.

Crossing the room quickly, he grabbed a crumpled piece of paper and straightened it out.

His own face stared up at him under the word ‘Missing’.

Shocked, he nearly dropped the paper.

“Varian?” he heard Cass call from behind him and he turned to face her in a daze. “You did a good job today. Can you help me move it to the door so I can take it to Raps?”

The young alchemist’s mind didn’t even register what she had said, too focused on the paper.

“Cass, what’s this?” he asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

“What?” She looked at the paper in his hands. “Oh that?” She laughed. “It’s nothing! You left suddenly and since you’ve been here for the last few weeks, people haven’t seen you in a while and some got nervous that the Saporians had gotten to you. Rapunzel smoothed the whole thing out. Don’t worry!”

Still confused, he asked, “Then why do you have it?”

“I thought it was something you might want for later. Something you could laugh at once the Saporians are caught. The rest were all torn down already and I was lucky to find this one.”

“Okay…”

Sensing his unease, she continued, “Come on. Let’s get everything moved then we can have some dinner. That’ll make you feel better.”

Nodding, he watched Cass leave the room. He took one last glance at the paper and shoved it into his pocket before hurrying after her.

All that he had created that morning was dragged to the door while Cass moved it outside to where he assumed she would store it until she could get it to Rapunzel. After everything was moved, Cass thanked him and closed the entrance. With a smirk, she walked to a large shed also constructed from the rocks that was out of Varian’s sight.

She parted the rocks and smiled.

In front of her, stretching for hundreds of yards, was everything that Varian had built so far. Things were going smoothly.

[karasluthqr]

Who’s at the Door?

So I’ve had this idea regarding Callie’s return floating around in my head for a while, and after last night’s episode, I thought it was time to get it out there. I might turn this into a little mini series. I’m not sure. It depends on what you guys think of it!

I wrote this pretty quickly so I apologize if it’s pretty crappy lol but I hope y’all enjoy it! Feedback is always appreciated. :)

A loud knocking on her front door caused Arizona to pull back from savory Italian lips. The blonde threw her head back and let out a frustrated groan. She was not in the mood. After a long day of saving dying babies and dying mothers, the fetal surgeon had been looking forward to coming home to a sweet, sweet release, and whoever was currently pounding on her front door was ruining it.

Arizona began maneuvering herself off of blue sheets, only to be pulled back down by a gentle hand wrapped around her bicep.

“They can wait,” Carina whispered breathlessly against the blonde’s lips before connecting them once again.

Smiling, Arizona pulled away. As much as she wanted to stay and finish this, she had a feeling it was her friend whom was at the door. Her friend whom she’d ditched to spend some sexy time with her girlfriend, so she thought it would be best if she didn’t ignore the persistent knocking that had still yet to stop.

“It’s probably just April. We had plans tonight and I forgot to cancel. I’ll be right back.”

Making her way through the kitchen, Arizona straightened out her clothes as she approached the front door. Reaching for the doorknob, she started with her explanation.

“Hey, April, i’m so-“

Arizona froze, mouth agape, stunned into silence. The person standing on the other side of the door was not April. No, the person standing opposite of her right now was the absolute last person she had expected to see.

Her ex-wife stood in front of her, tears rimming her chocolate brown eyes. The first thing Arizona noticed was how hallow they looked. Bags under her eyes as if she hadn’t slept in days. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

“Don’t speak. Just listen. Okay?”

Arizona didn’t respond; her heart was pounding in her chest. A part of herself thought she might be hallucinating. ’Is she really here? No. She couldn’t be, right? I mean, she’s supposed to be in New York. And happy. With her Penny.’

But taking one look at her, she knew the last thing Callie had been was happy. And the thought of Callie being unhappy sent a pang through her chest.

“I made a mistake, going to New York.. and taking Sofia away from you-“

The blonde’s eyebrows furrowed. “Callie, we al-“

The brunette held up her right hand, signaling for the blonde to stop talking. “Just listen to me, please?” Callie pleaded a little desperately.

Arizona swallowed the nerves building in her stomach, and stayed silent.

“but that’s not why i’m here.”

The wrinkles between Arizona’s eyebrows became even more pronounced. ‘Huh? Oh god, is she here because she wants to take Sofia back to New York?’

Sensing Arizona’s confusion, Callie quickly jumped to correct herself.

“I-I mean, of course I miss Sofia, and I still feel horrible for what I did, but that’s not why I flew the six hours from New York to Seattle and showed up on your doorstep in the middle of the night,“ Callie joked with a hesitant chuckle, attempting to assuage the thick tension circulating between them. But as presumed, her attempt elicited no response from her ex, and the brunette let out a sigh before continuing. “I made a mistake, Arizona. I left you for a woman I barely knew and I didn’t want to admit it at the time but I knew, deep down i knew, I was making the wrong decision. But I thought that the only way I was ever going to be able to move on with my life was if I left Seattle, if I left you.”

Callie searched the blonde’s face for some sort of reaction and watched as the light that had shone in Arizona’s eyes since she’d first opened the door dissipated, but all the while her face remained neutral. No furrowing of the eyebrows. No sadness. No nothing.

“but I was stupid, really, really stupid to think that. Because there is no getting over you, Arizona.”

And there it was again. The light.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Arizona stood motionless; her face neutral. She didn’t want her ex-wife to know how her admission made her heart flutter; how conflicted her emotions were. Underlying anger, she hadn’t even realized she still had, that she’d left in the first place. Frustration that she chose now to come back and tell her all of this. Pain because of how unhappy Callie appeared to be. Happiness that she wasn’t over her.

“Honestly, I didn’t even realize just how much I missed you until Sofia left. Since I couldn’t see those dimples of hers that reminded me of you every single day, or all the other little things you do that she’s picked up on. And I’m sure you’ve noticed them too,” Callie offered a small smile.

Arizona had noticed. But what she’d noticed more was how she was just like Callie. A miniature Calliope.

“And I know I’m rambling but I didn’t prepare what I wanted to say to you and I’m probably screwing all of this up but-” Callie released an embarrassed laugh. “but what i’m trying to say here is… I miss you.”

With those three words, Arizona’s eyes closed. Tears springing in her eyes, she inhaled a deep breath. Her heart was racing. She’d missed her too.

‘Me too. More than you know.’ was what she wanted to say.

“And I broke up with Penny a few months ago.”

Arizona’s eyes shot open, her jaw dropping in shock. Arizona knew exactly what Callie meant by that revelation. For a split second, forgetting all about Carina, Arizona debated leaping forward and latching her lips onto hers. The temptation was overwhelming, but her loyalty was overpowering. She was not a cheater. She couldn’t do that to Carina. She couldn’t hurt someone like that ever again. So Arizona just stood there, staring into hopeful chocolate brown eyes, pleading with her to just say something. Anything. But she had no clue of what to say.

After a few seconds, possibly minutes, of suffocating silence, Arizona tilted her head, finally noticing and taking in the biggest change, physically, of Callie.

“You changed your hair.”

Callie released the breath she’d been holding; it almost sounded like a whimper. And it cut into Arizona’s heart like a dagger. Clearly, that wasn’t what the brunette’d been hoping for her to say.

“Yeah, I-I wanted a change,” her voice cracked and she cleared her throat as tears threatened to spill over. “Um, you-you don’t like it?”

Arizona’s eyes widened. “No! No-n-n-n-n-no. no! It’s um-it’s nice.”

‘How could she think that? She looks stunning. Miraculous. Badass.’

“You, um, you look really pretty.”

Silence fell over them once again; it had been so long since the last time they’d looked at each other in this way and they couldn’t peel their eyes away from each other…. Until another voice entering the room shocked them back to reality.

“Arizona? Who’s at the door?”

[fantroll-purgatory]

Ciopie Lizset

Ok second troll and last uwu @yeehaw-comrade

(Breakdown is going to be a bit disjointed, so check towards the end for most of my recommendations! -SA)

(I was INSTANTLY drawn to this troll from her design alone. Sometimes going simple really is the way to go. Fantastic color scheme, as well. Very soft, very eye-pleasing.)

Name: Ciopie Lizset

Pronounced See-o-oh-pee

I know for a fact her name is loosely based off of two pianists but i cannot for the life of me think of which (I caught that surname instantly. You’re referring to Franz Liszt. I wonder if you corrupted “Frédéric Chopin” into “Ciopie”? That pronunciation guide is very close to a “Calliope”, a keyboard based instrument that is also the name of everyone’s favorite Cherub. Chopin,,,, though,,,,,, fits Troll Naming Rules. My thought would be to make “Lizset” her first name, as it rolls better off of the tongue. Lizset Chopin? Lizset Chopin.)

Planet: Alternian

Blood: Purple

(Recommendation: Olive OR Purple- see the breakdown.)

Sign: Caprittanius

Aspect: Void

Dream Planet: Prospit

(No comments here on this front.)

Classpect: Maid of Void?

(We’re gonna dial in on this when we go through.)

Lusus: ????

(Purple Lusi are always semi-aquatic. What if… she had an Oarfish. But with arms. That sings. Like, every Siren concept inverted and spun around on it’s head.)

Quirk: ????

(What if, given that piano is always focused around finding Middle C (and it being an instrument keyed in C), that she always Capitalizes the Cs in her speeCh?)

Land: light and shade? Spotlights and Alleyways?

(*Rubs hands together* Land Creation!

With Void players, I always like to dial up the isolation and the alien nature of the Void itself. But, given my analysis further down, I’m going to actually keep this Land thematic with your original.) (Land of Perfume and Halogen Lizset’s shoes make an audible click as her feet hit the ground, as she has to swing out of her hive to get to the wooden floor that passes as a ground beneath her. All the world’s a stage, and all the people are merely players. The air is thick and slightly pink, and tastes of chemicals and patchouli. It reminds her too much of old concert halls and Cerulean nobles. The world is dark until she gets both feet on the ground. Bright, white lights blind her, causing her to fall backwards. Her consorts are hiding in the corners of set pieces. This place assaults all senses, and the Denizen is to blame. Nobody can live their entire lives spotlit, nor in the dark. It’s up to Lizset to get the sun working again, and to turn off these lights.)

Personality: Ciopie is a pianist and a hell of a good one at that. Shes actually pretty famous! Not Marvus tier, but shes up there. She doesnt always get recgonized on the street and she loves that. She has terrible stage fright and wish she wasnt as famous as she is. She mostly wants to blend in which is why her clothing and hair are worn so plainly and her face paint done so simply. But alas, the show must go on. As everyone always says. Shes really shy and never likes to be in the spot light. Shes of course forced too, as talent like that must be exploited for the benifit of others!

Thats p much all i have for her!

(A quick breakdown of what you have for her currently:

Character Motif: Pianos and Performances

Character Motivation: Vanishing (????)

Character Conflict: Living In The Spotlight/Being Used (???))

(Let’s flesh out the personality for this girl, because we have a foundation already, and use that to build the more mechanical, fiddly bits!)

(When I create a character, the first thing I look at is what I want them to DO. In the overall narrative, what purpose does this character serve? What themes do I want to explore with this character? Traditionally the way you do this is through character conflicts and motivation.

Your character’s basic, emotional conflict seems to be whether or not she wants to lean into her nascent celebrity status. She has bad stage fright, so she must tend to freeze on stage, but she seems to be relatively famous otherwise? But, I have to ask: Why?

I worry that there’s a disconnect between the aesthetics and the agency of this character. I know very little about the actual core of her character. Does she even like music? “Isn’t it obvious?” is not an answer, because it’s not obvious. What I’ve gotten from her is that she must HATE playing the piano, as everything relating to her skill is causing her anxiety. You can be good at something but choose not to do it. So, why does she do it?

You make a comment about “for the greater good”, but… let’s be real here. WHO’S greater good? Who is telling her this? Where did she get this idea? That isn’t the kind of idea that just happens.

We have two options for this: Internal and External Motivation

Who is telling her this? If she’s telling this to herself, that this is an idea she got in her head because of something she experienced, that is an Internal Motivation for her to go on stage. Does she have lofty ideals, or really believes in the power of art?

If someone else is making her do it, regardless of what she wants (and I’m going to be 100% honest with you “because she has fans!!!” is not it), then it’s an External Motivation. Is she indebted or depending on someone? Has she made powerful enemies? Enemies who run a speakeasy? Has she run afoul of the Troll Mob?

I personally recommend that you go with an Internal Motivation, as it provides fun growth moments and ~drama~ later on for her.

So, the obvious narrative for her is getting over her limitations. Growing more confident in her own abilities, and with other people, would be a difficult but achievable end-game for her.  Growing more powerful in her craft, using the power of music to help her friends and their session.

This is not the path of a Void Player. This is the path of a Light player.

I posit that there’s two distinct ways you could do this narrative: Light and Void. But they go in wildly different paths.

The Light Path is closest to your character concept. We are going to keep Maid, the Active Creator, because I feel both paths involve this character learning to make spaces and opportunities for herself, just in opposite spheres.)

(Light Path: The Love Path)

-Purple Blooded (Dial in on the strength of purples, their violent instability, and how that translates into a dextrous art such as the piano)

-Light, Prospit (Narrative Focus- Energy, knowledge, skill, fame)

-Class: Maid (Active Creation, Self Determination, Confidence)-Motivation: Internal (Ideals, Fantasies, Morals) (In this version of Miss Lizset, her focus is on overcoming her shortcomings. She believes that she has a gift and that gift must be shared (VERY Highblood logic), but that her own issues make her skittish and unpredictable on stage. She must overcome these if she is to become a productive member of her session and accomplish her own ideals.) (Void Path: The Hate Path) -Olive Blooded (Dial in on the lack of special features of Olives, of their overlooked position in society, of how often highbloods use them for their own gain) -Void, Prospit (Narrative Focus: Doubt, Disguise, Backline, Acquiescence) -Class: Maid (Active Creation, Self Determination, Confidence)-Motivation: External (Coercion, Fear, Vulnerability) (On this side, we end up with a concert pianist being used for someone else’s benefit. Whether she liked performing before, all she wants to do now is disappear. Someone is forcing her to use her talents, due to her own acquiescing nature. She must shake off their chains and teach herself how to set up boundaries and to slip out of bad situations in order to become an effective support for her session.) -(SA)

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 11

THE 27/10/16 UPDATE

ABOUT DAMN TIME I GOT TO HERE AINT IT! Geez, I need to hurry up and get caught up to that new update so I have a good excuse for being lazy. ANyways, this should be the Calliope and Jane interaction. Also, am I the only one who thinks most people pronounce calliope weird? its always like, Call-e-ope-e or cal-i-ope, but I think it’s just Call-e-ope. I dunno, whatta you folks think?

blep

CALLIOPE: (oh!) CALLIOPE: (Um, hello again jane. ^u^)

Dammit she’s adorable.

JANE: (I’m sorry, am I interrupting anything?) JANE: (You seemed to be taking a pretty engrossed gander at that house door thing.) CALLIOPE: (oh no i was jUst admiring it. nothing important.) CALLIOPE: (although... i was doing a little thinking as well.) JANE: (Really? What about?) JANE: (If you don’t mind sharing, that is.) CALLIOPE: (not at all!) CALLIOPE: (well, the main sUbject of my thoUghts has jUst been shock for how i am even here for this moment.) CALLIOPE: (after it became clear that i was never meant to even play the game session i was a part of, despite my foolish hopes...) CALLIOPE: (i was certain that the Ultimate reward was forever oUtside my grasp.) CALLIOPE: (and yet, here i am!) CALLIOPE: (it almost feels like i’m cheating.) CALLIOPE: (i have hardly done anything deserving of any reward, let alone the Ultimate one. u-u;)

Aw, don’t be like that Calliope! You may not have played much of an active role in the story, but  that doesn’t mean you weren’t 100% necessary! Honestly, where would the Alpha Kids be without you? I think you’ve earned this by enduring the bullshit you’re brother has put you through, and doing what was best for the completion of the game, and survival of your friends.

JANE: (That name really is a bit misleading, isn’t it?) JANE: (It seems so... grandiose.) JANE: (I’m not sure if I’m all that fond of it.) CALLIOPE: (really?) JANE: (Mhm.) JANE: (Especially considering, well...) JANE: (My behavior today hasn’t exactly been worthy of accolades either.) JANE: (In fact I think I may have done more harm than good for the majority of my session!) JANE: (Or maybe even further back than that!!) JANE: (I don’t mean to be insensitive when I say this, Callie, but...) JANE: (Throughout this entire mess, at least you have been innocent of any real wrongdoing.) JANE: (Which is more than can be said for me.)

AWGH, dont be like that JANE..... ALl these sad girls need to stop worrying about WORTH n shit. You all played your role dammit. 

CALLIOPE: (oh...) CALLIOPE: (yoU’re referring to the things yoU mentioned in yoUr story?) JANE: (I killed my best friend.) JANE: (And out of such petty jealousy!) JANE: (I might be able to foist blame upon the Batterwitch, for manipulating me into hurting my friends.) JANE: (But she was only able to do that because they were already inclinations I had, deep down!) JANE: (Couldn’t I have resisted more?) JANE: (What does that say about me?)

JANEY

SHUt UR MOUTH

iT says youre a human with human emotions. 

CALLIOPE: (but roxy is here! she’s fine!)

DAYum  RIGHT roxy is fiiiiiine

CALLIOPE: (she may be a slightly different version of roxy than the one yoU knew, bUt certainly that is better than losing her forever, isn’t it?) CALLIOPE: (living in a world withoUt roxy in it...) CALLIOPE: (that woUld sUrely be a terrible fate!)

Yes it would. Because youUUU LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE HEEEEERRRR

JANE: (Oh certainly!) JANE: (You have no idea how relieved I am that despite my horrific deeds, I still have the people that matter most to me in my life.) JANE: (Including my dad!!) JANE: (I’ve missed him so much.) JANE: (I’m almost afraid to ask if he knows about what I did...) JANE: (And if not, would I ever be able to tell him?) JANE: (He’d be so ashamed of me.)

Pretty sure his only emotion is proud. BUT COME ON JANE, youre worrying about the wrong shit. these people, im tellin ya. they never wanna let go of the paST.

CALLIOPE: (jane, i am not very familiar with the concepts of fathers and families.) CALLIOPE: (these are very hUman things which, despite my preoccUpations, are still qUite foreign. u-u;) CALLIOPE: (bUt i think i may be learning slowly by seeing how all of yoU are immediately drawn to each other.) CALLIOPE: (and from what i have learned, i don’t think yoU need to worry, jane.) CALLIOPE: (we are all just glad that yoU are here, i am certain of it!) JANE: (... Thank you, Callie.) JANE: (The same goes for you, you know!) CALLIOPE: (oh yes! I really am qUite happy to be here and not dead!) CALLIOPE: (i jUst wish that i coUld have been a little more UsefUl...) CALLIOPE: (perhaps if i had managed to contribUte at least a little more, i woUld not feel qUite so oUt of place.) JANE: (It’s alright to feel a tad ill at ease.) JANE: (Nobody expects you to be immediately hunky dory with all of this buddy chummy hullabaloo.)

Hah. No comment, other than that I love this line. This interaction  is sweet.

JANE: (In fact I’m certain not even all us humans are on the same page.) JANE: (So your discomfort, in a way, is a very good indication that you fit right in.)

no kidding. Is there anybody here who feels comfortable? Maybe Rose and Jade. 

CALLIOPE: (thank yoU jane. that sentiment really means a lot. ^u^) CALLIOPE: (bUt i mUst admit that it is a little odd to think of myself in sUch a way.) CALLIOPE: (i have always been an oUtsider looking in. never trUly part of anything larger than myself.) CALLIOPE: (thinking aboUt parents and siblings, well.) CALLIOPE: (my only experience with anything of the sort was my brother.)

OH, that actually reminds me of the lil fucker. Where IS caliborn? he defeated his denizen and did a thing with the clock. SOoo, what’s his gameplan now?

JANE: (Oh, yeah. THAT jerk.) JANE: (Do you really need to think about him any more, Callie?) JANE: (I know I will be perfectly happy to never deal with him and his sordid affairs ever again!!) CALLIOPE: (it’s not a particUlarly happy thing to ponder, no.) CALLIOPE: (bUt nonetheless it’s what i have.) CALLIOPE: (and despite how awfUl it may have been, i think it warrants reflection.) CALLIOPE: (there is something aboUt oUr shared experience growing Up that makes me feel... connected to him, still.) CALLIOPE: (i wonder if maybe that connection is at all what family is like.)

I think that connection is what sharing a body for most of your life is like. Thouuugh... They hated each other, sure. But they probably relied on each other for everything as well. So perhaps that could build up a sort of familial attachment.

JANE: (I don’t really know, Calliope. I’m hardly an expert on the subject.) JANE: (But from what I understand, family is really quite a multifaceted thing.) JANE: (And the sort of connection you’re describing could certainly be part of it, I think.) JANE: (Some might say you cannot choose your family, and that they are an important part of who you are no matter what.) JANE: (For better or for worse.)

I mean, I agree with that to some extent. But really it depends on what kinda “family” you’re talking about. Blood, or bonds.

CALLIOPE: (hmmm...)

Ooh, that’s a pretty good panel. Also, his godtier makes me think....... It’s kinda funny how sburb identified calliope and caliborn as two seperate entities, giving them two different godtiers. would it have been like that even if neither have them had taken control?? Bluh, im sure it wont matter.

CALLIOPE: (that may be trUe.) CALLIOPE: (however...) CALLIOPE: (i do feel like whatever relationship we had was not trUly any sort of familial bond.) CALLIOPE: (at least not like anything i have seen thUs far in hUmans.) CALLIOPE: (we called each other siblings oUt of convenience, bUt in reality, we were competitors in a game larger than even that which spawns Universes.) CALLIOPE: (technically, i was the loser in the race to predominate and participate in oUr session.) CALLIOPE: (but in that yet larger game...) CALLIOPE: (which i think one might call the game of life.)

You mean... 

obvious joke im sorry.

CALLIOPE: (it seems like i might be the winner.) CALLIOPE: (i think maybe, given that, i am beginning to Understand what my alternate self meant when she told me to "live"...) CALLIOPE: (becaUse we both know my brother well. and it seems there is no version of him that will ever be able to finish his childish games.) CALLIOPE: (he will stay the way he is forever, never able to move on and jUst live. never knowing that sUch a path, which he views with sUch disdain, is likely far more rewarding!)

Yeah, he doesn’t seem like one to settle down and have a good ol’ time relaxing with friends and family. 

:D

JANE: (Callie, that’s it!!)

:O

CALLIOPE: (hUh??)

JANE: (That’s why it’s called the ultimate reward!) JANE: (We don’t have to play this drab old game anymore.) JANE: (This is our ticket to move on to the much bigger adventure awaiting us.) JANE: (Letting go of the past and learning from it...) JANE: (Puzzling out what it means to have a family.) JANE: (All of that. Living life to the fullest.) JANE: (That’s the ultimate reward!)

You know, that does seem likely. THAT’S probably definitely it. I mean, it’s fitting. the whole GOAL is to get out of this fucking game and live a new life mature in your new universe.

CALLIOPE: (i think yoU’re right, jane!) CALLIOPE: (we jUst stUmbled Upon that realization qUite accidentally, didn’t we?) JANE: (Actually, Callie. I think it might be because you are just that clever and insightful.) CALLIOPE: (oh, shUcks... u^u;) JANE: (You are definitely a winner in my book. And I’m glad you might be a winner in yours, too.) CALLIOPE: (i am certainly getting there.) CALLIOPE: (maybe someday soon i will be able to more fUlly come to terms with all this.) CALLIOPE: (bUt... there’s no rUsh, right?) CALLIOPE: (so long as we are looking forward, instead of back.) JANE: (That’s the ticket!) JANE: (Cheers, to winning!) CALLIOPE: (to winning! ^u^)

Daw, you two. Well, it seems like they had a positive resolution! They’ve discovered what the ultimate reward is! And Callies gona get all good at accepting herself as a big WINNER. HOOray! Im guessing they’ll be moving onto the next pair now, which should be Karkat and Dave.

Yup, character select screen. TO THE DAVEKAT GAYS!

Karkat’s anxious, Dave’s like come on man we fuckin won dont be anxious. 

DAVE: (dude) DAVE: (relax)

KNew it.

DAVE: (i can practically hear you thinking yourself into another shitfit) DAVE: (john looks about ready to twist the shit out of that magic doorknob) DAVE: (i thought youd be relieved or something) KARKAT: (I CAN’T HELP IT.) KARKAT: (I’M NERVOUS, OK?) KARKAT: (LAST TIME I WAS IN THIS POSITION, IT DIDN’T TURN OUT SO WELL.)

OH what could you mean by that? it wasnt so bad. A devil dog appeared slaughtered the fuck out of a door, traveled across your world and destroyed your planets, then murdered all of your dream selves.

KARKAT: (AND I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL LIKE WE’RE FORGETTING SOMETHING IMPORTANT.) KARKAT: (MAYBE SEVERAL SOMETHINGS.) KARKAT: (LIKE...) KARKAT: (WHERE THE FUCK IS GAMZEE?) KARKAT: (VRISKA JUST SHOVED HIM IN THAT HUNGER TRUNK WHEN SHE REALIZED WE WERE ABOUT TO SHOW UP, AND THEN KEPT HIM THERE SO HE WOULDN’T "CAUSE TROUBLE”.) KARKAT: (BUT I GUESS HE JUST WENT ON AN INTERPLANETARY ADVENTURE! WHERE COULD HE BE? HAS HE BROKEN OUT YET? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!)

NOpe, he’s still very much trapped in the fridge. 

DAVE: (yeah that is uh) DAVE: (actually kind of concerning) KARKAT: (YOU THINK?!) KARKAT: (AND WHAT ABOUT THE MAYOR? AND THE SPRITES, WHERE DID THEY FUCK OFF TO?) DAVE: (look man well figure it out alright) DAVE: (were not just gonna up and leave without everyone accounted for) DAVE: (like seriously how could we ever abandon the mayor) DAVE: (were going back for him thats not even up for debate) KARKAT: (THANK GOD AT LEAST SOMEONE AROUND HERE HAS THEIR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.)

FInally, some people who are worrying about the RIGHT things. I mean, jeeez. all these people worrying about their pasts and worth, when they need to be prepared to face a more dangerous threat if one comes. ANYWAys

Thats all for this update. Hope my content was enough to satisfy you... 8 followers?? Jeez. Boy am i POPUlAR. 

Seriously though, I dont know if its just because im starting out, but every follower is feeling like a big deal. Sooo... thanks to you who are following me.

[afinedoll]

MH: Gooliope Jellington

This review is a pretty long time coming, and you likely know all about this girl already, but wtf, I’m doing it anyway.

She’s so big. And so pink.

First off, I’m just going to say I cannot stand her colour scheme. Pepto-Bismol pink plus scarlet plus bright yellow and black does not do it for me. But hey, we have seen worse from Monster High. Not much worse, but... anyway, moving on.

I’m skipping ahead a bit with this picture - I forgot to take a decent photo of her hair before I undressed her so what we have now is this. Unfortunately she just doesn’t have particularly good hair - doll hair in general doesn’t hold a curl very well and Gooliope’s is too short do do anything but wave vaguely so now we have this mess, which alternately reminds me of rhubarb and custard sweets and also the colour of what happens if you eat too many of them, which is very sad for poor Gooliope.

I do like her face. I’m very glad they didn’t put any blobs right on it, that would have made her look really creepy. I prefer the fact that they gave her rounded, full features instead - a pronounced chin, full bottom lip and a round nose - which more sort of suggest blobbiness. I also love the nuclear symbol in her eyes, that’s a lovely touch, as are the circus-bill flourishes in her irises and lashes. And thank goodness her eyes are blue! It gives such a welcome relief from all that pink. Imagine if her eyes were pink, how monochrome she’d look.

Hairstyle aside, she has some wonderful accessories and one of my favourites is her fascinator. This grinning organ with screaming pipes - or should I give it its proper name, since this is a circus, and call it a calliope? It’s just the best thing for her to be wearing.

You can see the roundness of her cheeks a bit better in profile - you can also see that her earlobes are dripping goo, which is an acceptable level of gunge and doesn’t make it look like her face is melting.

Her earrings are clearly wagon wheels suspended from - well, it’s a heart with skull eyes. Can you say it’s a heart-shaped skull? I guess that’s what it is. Anyway, the fit is very tight and I’m sure that if you push them in and take them out too many times one of them will snap.

Her epaulettes tend to spin around her neck a bit and are covered in cobwebs - but they also have a number on them: 816. That could mean ‘BIG’ or it could mean a couple of other things - I believe that number has been connected to at least one nuclear accident, but only in a very obscure way. It drove the fandom crazy when this doll was first released, though. Anyway, they add to her ringmaster vibe but on the whole they’re cumbersome and I don’t like them much.

I do love her shoes. In fact they’re in my top five Monster high shoes ever, just for those fantastic skeletal carousel horses. That is just an amazing creepy touch and I adore it. They could maybe do with a bit more paint to pick out some of that beautiful detail but they’re so basically great already that I’m happy to leave them for now.

Now we’re done talking about her accessories, I just have to add that she came with a stand and it is dire. It works slightly differently from the usual ones: that is, not at all. You set it up, all seems fine, then you add the doll and the pole levers itself out of the base. Judicious adjustment can fix this but I have known the stand just randomly pop itself apart... because humidity? I don’t know. It’s a terrible design.

It’s a good thing she can stand okay on her own. Possibly more reliably than she does on her stand. Anyway, this gives us a chance to look at her dress, which is... okay. I understand the ‘cobbled together from bits of unused Big Top’ aesthetic, but I think they missed it. It’s too busy, and more to the point it’s not her colour. As we saw on the Shriek Wrecked doll, Gooliope looks much better with some true blue to balance out the Pepto-Bismol pink - black and red is not a good look for her.

I also forgot to get a decent photo of her hair, but suffice it to say that it’s bad. At least it isn’t gluey, but it’s frizzy and you can tell that they attempted curls and failed. Poor Goo.

She makes up for all of that, though, with her size and truly impressive joint engineering. Look at this. That’s twenty points of articulation, if you count the knees and elbows as two each, which I do. The hands come off at the wrist as normal but the double elbow joints don’t allow detachment, so her arms come off just below her shoulder instead - which means one more rotational point than you’d usually get. 

As far as sizing goes, she’s almost exactly 150% bigger than the standard Monster High girl, except rather chunkier in the bust and butt. I still haven’t quite got the hang of it, but I’m getting there.

Her torso joint lets her get an impressive amount of tilt towards the back, although that may be an illusion caused by the famous Monster High sway back.

Certainly the forward tilt is not as impressive.

But the side tilt makes her look much more natural on the whole, despite what a mess I made of posing her arms in this picture.

The double knee joints make all the difference too - Gooliope can almost kneel down all the way down onto her own calves!

She can certainly sit sideways like this - and see how the torso tilt makes the pose look even better, and the double-jointed elbows make touching her own face a cinch.

This is the good bit - she can even sit cross-legged. The really fun bit with Gooliope was posing her and finding out exactly what she could do.

There’s going to be a post comparing her to an ordinary MH ghoul, but for now say farewell to this goo - and if you got one for yourself, let me know what you thought of her!