#'I don't have a favorite Tolkien character it's too hard to pick lol'

[erotetica]

top 3 feanor quotes

@vardasvapors as someone who literally just called him Dickweed I meant to take him less seriously, but why would I do that when I could open my mouth and release 10,001 bees?

(disclaimer for the opinions–he’s such an unreliable narrator?? There’s canon, there’s my headcanon, and there’s what the boy genuinely believes. wtf kid.)

1) Fëanor looked upon Melkor with eyes that burned through his fair semblance and pierced the cloaks of his mind, perceiving there his fierce lust for the Silmarils. Then hate overcame Fëanor’s fear, and he cursed Melkor and bade him be gone, saying: ‘Get thee gone from my gate, thou jail-crow of Mandos!’ And he shut the doors of his house in the face of the mightiest of all the dwellers in Eä. I love this because of the eye-burning, I really like it when his being named Spirit of Fire is taken as a literal, physical thing, as opposed to only a prophetic ‘he’s gonna be an arson when he grows up.’ Also, because while a lot of shit comes from this interaction, for now it’s just *insert metal AF electric guitar riff*

2) Fëanor spoke then, and cried bitterly: ‘For the less even as for the greater there is some deed that he may accomplish but once only; and in that deed his heart shall rest. It may be that I can unlock my jewels, but never again shall I make their like; and if I must break them, I shall break my heart, and I shall be slain; first of all the Eldar in Aman.’ So this is probably Tolkien making a point about how the little shit’s misguided, and how Arda is supposed to build good things from evil. And if not it’s just SO DRAMATIC, he’ll just DIE like an overstimulated proper southern plantation lady. He might have been the king of the Noldor for five minutes but he was king of pretentious, melodramatic artists for long enough. 

There’s also this pet theory that I never validated one way or the other but like anyway: We assume he’s Special because he’s got more fea than other elves? Sources: the mothername; being shinier; his body combusting as his spirit left it. So what if he maybe…put the excess into the Silmarils? I’ve seen the theory bandied about by others, it’s kinda feasible. To be clear even if he did that he wouldn’t die breaking them. But consider: this is the chucklefuck who’s existence revolves around production, 40% because of an insatiable personality and 60% because he’s so insatiable–in part–because he siphoned some extra spirit off his mom and killed her, was replaced by his half-siblings, and has nothing to prove. What are you talking about. You might as well just accuse him of having mommy/daddy issues, I mean honestly. Anyway the point is if breaking the Silmarils loses him that excess spirit, isn’t he basically dead? It’d be a great Dagor Dagorath fic, where the whole of Arda is ~blissful again~ and this ass has to go and Find Himself because he’s Ordinary Now.

3) Then Fëanor rose…and he cursed also the summons of Manwë and the hour in which he came to Taniquetil, thinking in the madness of his rage and grief that had he been at Formenos his strength would have availed more than to be slain also, as Melkor had purposed. Then Fëanor ran from the Ring of Doom, and fled into the night; for his father was dearer to him than the Light of Valinor or the peerless works of his hands; and who among sons, of Elves or of Men, have held their fathers of greater worth? We assume Formenos is nowhere near the Ring of Doom? But yeah kid just…fall over topography you can’t even see so you can witness your dad spattered on what’s left of the city you built before your traumatized kids can clean it off. Also where the FUCK is the version where people worry he ran away to kill himself? Same vibe, more clarity.