#'-( this meme is in no way meant to insinuate i don't want to be friends with them )'

[networksupported]

> you're getting the heavily-editited-to-not-be-anti-joule version alright

> i put more work into writing that correction than in every bit of art combined and honestly??? worth it actually

[sapphoshands]

Okay, a more specific ask for the fanfic author’s director’s cut meme: <i>it moves when her body does</i> What do you hope you could have included that you had to leave out?

thank you for specifying! <3 and ooooh, it moves when her body does is an interesting one - both because there's (going to be) a sequel and because i cut something out that i immediately added into the climax of a different fic, ha. so i can't share anything from those ;) but i went back to my notes and there were a few things that i changed or cut!

initially the four chapters were meant to be alternating pov - siuan to moiraine to siuan to moiraine - but i ended up bookending two moiraine chapters with two siuan chapters, and i think that worked better but i kind of regret not seeing moiraine's pov of getting tattooed (ch 4) as well as siuan's pov of deciding to add moiraine to her own tattoos (ch 3).

the bigger thing, though, is that i started ch 3 - their transition to aes sedai - wanting to explore more about how they make that transition differently and why it is/seems easier for siuan than moiraine, and although i think i got some of that in i don't think i got it all. here is a rare glimpse of my early notes, when i was first discussing with a friend:

literally, the day after they’re raised, their first dinner at the like Aes Sedai big kids table, Siuan gets a note and dashes off after dinner and comes back hours later with a new tattoo, and Moiraine has a jumble of feelings about like, change, and how to become something new without leaving things behind (which she hasn’t had to do, because coming to the tower was a way of escaping Cairhien, so how do you change without abandoning a past self), and how it seems like it’s so much easier for Siuan to hold HER past selves, and Moiraine being a little jealous of the way Siuan holds on to that history

the fic became more about siuan than about the two of them, and i am fine with that, but i do love all the parallels between the two of them, and i think the way siuan clings to her history while moiraine denies/tries to escape hers is really fascinating (and something i hope we see more of on screen as the series progresses!). and the whole thing about moiraine being the one to leave, but how do you leave someone without abandoning them, especially if you've never done it before. some of that came out in the back and forth about the kesiera, but i think it's only there very subtly, and not in the same in-depth way that siuan's relationship to her own history is explored. which, again, i think is what the fic wanted, and i am very happy with how it came out, but originally it was meant to be more of a parallel (and the answer to leaving-without-abandonment is, of course, the tattoos - there was also a bit about how having the kesiera reimagined and tattooed on siuan was a reclamation for moiraine of the parts of her heritage she wants to keep, and that also didn't really get fleshed out).

i was going to have a more explicit moment in one of the first two chapters where siuan explains the meaning of all her tattoos to moiraine, but i ended up being persuaded to trust my readers and leave it out and let the development of that knowledge be more meaningful by insinuation. if i were ever to write a deleted scene, this would probably be it, though.

i also originally had a scene where siuan sees the tattoo she's given moiraine the next day and explores how it's healing, but tbh i don't think it added anything that wasn't already on the page.

so there wasn't a lot that got cut that i haven't already re-appropriated! of course, that's partially why the fourth chapter is as long as the first three combined. :P

thanks for asking!

[storiesofwildfire]

"Don't chase the rabbit" (Fan!)

@forsakenmyths

meme: send me “Don’t chase the rabbit” and your muse will be shown a random memory from my muse’s past – status; accepting

♔—- “Our dear friend is banished to Earth! Loki sits on the throne of Asgard as our King! And all you have done is eat two boars, six pheasants a side of beef and drink two barrels of ale! Shame on you!” Fandral shouted at Volstagg, knocking over a plate of food at his friend’s side before he really had time to think about what was truly coming out of his mouth, what his friends would think of what he was implying rather than what he actually meant.

He and Loki had always been close. Closer than either of them truly let on. Most didn’t know that Loki was the reason Fandral came to Gladsheim in the first place, that Loki had been the one to encourage him to seek something better, and that Loki ultimately led Fandral to Sigurd, who didn’t just gloss over him as a pretty boy who happened to be good with a sword, but a proper, respectable agent.

In truth, Fandral loved Loki dearly, and he often questioned just how deep his love for the younger prince actually ran. Part of him desperately wanted something more than friendship, while most of him understood that a public relationship with the prince of Asgard wasn’t practical or appropriate for either of them, especially on Loki’s part. Most of Gladsheim might have just assumed Fandral came from some sort of nobility, but Loki knew the truth. Nothing more than the son of a farmer and certainly not a suitable match for a royal who may one day obtain the throne.

Fandral even believed Loki was better suited for the position. As much as Fandral genuinely cared for, loved, and respected Thor, he’d spent quite a lot of time with the thunderer, watching the way that he handled moments of extreme stress, and how irrationally hot-headed he was. Thor was the break-noses-now-ask-questions-later type and with how egotistical he could be mixed with how easy it was to wound his pride, he often jumped the gun to violence in times when diplomacy would have been far more appropriate. 

He never meant to imply that Loki being on the throne was the wrong decision. He never meant to imply that they couldn’t trust Loki sitting on the throne. He never meant to rally up anyone’s nerves despite his pointed comments to Volstagg, he was just… having a difficult time processing everything that unfolded in front of him.

Thor convinced them all to rush off to Jotunheim, where they killed well over one hundred Frost Giants because of Thor’s ego. The battle resulted in a life-threatening injury that he was still not fully recovered from, and just thinking about it made his shoulder ache. The open vest he wore with no undershirt might have seemed flashy and unnecessary, but the truth was, putting heavier fabrics on the still-healing wound only served to hurt him further. His vest was more or less all he could handle at the moment without risking becoming even more frazzled.

And then Odin banished Thor, fell into Odinsleep immediately after, and left the throne to Frigga, who immediately passed it onto Loki. Loki, he knew, could be a capable ruler, but something wasn’t right with the younger prince. They seemed particularly shaken, especially after their venture to Jotunheim, and whatever they were facing, they were facing alone. Something rattled the God to their core, causing an upset that made the weight of the crown crushing and Fandral feared for Loki’s wellbeing more than he really implied. He feared for Thor and for Asgard as well and having to put aside the trauma and fear of the near-death experience he just endured to deal with everything else only served to amplify his stress.

“Do not mistake my appetite for apathy!” Volstagg barked around a mouthful of whatever it was he’d moved onto devouring.

From there, the entire conversation got out of hand. Hogun was suggesting that Loki was at fault for the Frost Giants, Sif was insinuating that Loki was somehow at fault for Thor’s banishment, and they were both in an upheaval that going to Midgard and retrieving Thor despite direct orders from the king that he remain there was the only option they had. Why Sif and Hogun so openly disliked and even despised Loki, Fandral truly didn’t know. As far as he could tell, Loki had never done anything to either of them to warrant such hatred. Harmless pranks and backhanded comments that were no worse than what Thor’s friends dished out, but nothing to justify such… raw hatred.

They were talking about committing treason purely because they didn’t want Loki on the throne.

Loki hadn’t even proved to be an irresponsible or misplaced king. He wasn’t at fault for Jotunheim. He wasn’t at fault for Thor’s betrayal and, genuinely, he wasn’t wrong about how it would look if he–the new and supposedly temporary king–overturned his predecessor’s last decree as king. Loki bringing Thor home would have undermined Odin’s rule and shown a blatant lack of respect for the king that came before them. 

Fandral hadn’t meant to contribute to the ramblings of angry warriors ready to jump off the edge of treason and yet, as Sif and Hogun egged one another on, it seemed very blatant to him that he’d done just that. His words had been interpreted in a manner that made it seem as if he wanted Loki off the throne as much as they did and now that the first domino had fallen, there was no stopping it. 

Had he not said anything at all… Had he kept his frustrations internalized and kept his damn mouth shut rather than blurting out the first string of anguish he could muster to try and express everything that ran through his mind, maybe they wouldn’t have come to that conclusion at all.

Logically, Fandral knew that Sif and Hogun had already been thinking along these lines, that they would have been prepared to commit treason even without Fandral’s little outburst, but the swordsman couldn’t help but feel responsible. Guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders, especially as any further attempt he made to soothe his friends’ rage towards Loki and persuade them away from thoughts of acting against the crown went completely unheard. Now that Sif and Hogun agreed, there was little stopping them, and as good of a person as Volstagg was, it was sort of easy to bulldoze over him and convince him to go along with just about anything. With both Sif and Hogun chatting in his ear, he’d probably give in to their ridiculous whims in a matter of moments.

Before the four of them could even decide firmly on what they would going to do and, more importantly, before Fandral could have an ample chance to talk his friends off the ledge, Heimdall summoned all four of them to his home at the end of the Bifrost. As the Watcher of Yggdrasil and Asgard’s first line of defense, they all knew that he could see everything and anything he wanted. He likely saw the argument and talks of treason as well, and Fandral prayed that Heimdall called them all to talk some sense into them or, at the very least, to close the Bifrost to them.

Instead, he only instigated the situation further.

“You would defy Loki, our king, break every oath you have sworn as Asgardian warriors and commit treason by bringing Thor back?” Heimdall asked, to which Sif answered on behalf of all four of them that they absolutely would. “Good!” Heimdall exclaimed as he let go of the hilt of Hofund, the sword Heimdall used to control the Bifrost.

“Then you’ll help us?” Volstagg asked, confirming Fandral’s suspicion that he would be easily persuaded to go along with this ridiculous plan.

“I am bound by my oath. I cannot open the Bifrost to you,” Heimdall said in a matter-of-fact tone that suggested he wasn’t willing to help them. Still, he stepped away from the platform that held Hofund and the mount that would open the Bifrost.

Fandral’s heart sank in his chest. Never in a thousand years would he have imagined Heimdall would willingly betray Loki in such a manner. Heimdall had a strong connection to the young king, after all, so why… Why was he even willing to do this? To turn a “blind eye” and let Thor’s friends commit treason against their new king? Did he have some sort of ulterior motive or was he truly turning his back on Loki?

“Complicated fellow, isn’t he?” Fandral asked meekly as he watched Heimdall saunter off, his last hope of shutting his friends down following after the Watcher. ‘Why, Heimdall? Why did you do this? Had you not gotten involved, we would have been stuck here…’ Fandral couldn’t help but think, but as disappointed as he was to watch Heimdall leave, he was more disappointed in himself for being the one to start all of this. He hadn’t meant to, but intentions meant nothing. Actions and the result of those actions meant everything.

Would Loki ever forgive him for this?

“My friends,” he continued, turning to the trio that stood before him. “Please, let us reconsider this. We are all distressed by Thor’s absence, but Loki has given us no reason to believe he will make for a bad king. Committing treason against Loki seems extreme.”

“Hypocritical, coming from the man who seemed so distraught by the idea of Loki sitting on the throne in the first place,” Sif murmured, though she and Hogun were already hovering closely around Heimdall’s purposefully forgotten sword. “Weren’t you just complaining about it?”

“Yes, I can see how my words came off poorly,” Fandral agreed. “But I didn’t mean for this. I was venting frustration, not trying to rally actual betrayal. Please, be reasonable. If we do this, we’re committing treason, not only against Loki but against Asgard. Odin banished Thor, not Loki. Would it not be better to stay and try to assist our new king to get through these troubling times? We can help Loki–”

“Or we can help Asgard by dethroning Loki all together!” Sif snapped as she took hold of Hofund’s hilt to activate the Bifrost. Fandral felt like he might be sick. Gods, he felt like he actually might double over and expel the contents of his stomach across the floor. How had one moment of venting understandably conflicting and confusing emotions lead to this? How could he let his own feelings get in the way of what needed to be done?

Loki would never forgive him for this, but Fandral wasn’t sure he’d forgive himself either.

‘This is all my fault…’

[lillyblogs]

[Insinuation 2.7]

(Sorry about posting these out of chronological order; I didn't have a Tumblr blog yet when I first posted this one. Also, consider my liveblogs of 1.1 -> 2.6 lost to the ether.) [Insinuation 2.7] Brian and Alec were good looking guys, in very different ways. Lisa was, on the sliding scale between plain and pretty, more pretty than not. So Taylor admits to checking all of them out and also to finding them all attractive. Undersider harem when? Bug Please don't stick please don't stick I still want her name to be something cool like Myriad, but there's bound to be something of a joke to it. Lisa, though, put one of her arms around my shoulders and gave me a one-armed squeeze of a hug. She was a little older than I was, so she was just tall enough to be at the perfect height to do it. What caught me off guard was how nice the gesture felt. Taylor is attracted to girls theory: Confirmed?????? Actually, I get the impression that Lisa is supposed to be this but it's not quite coming across right and makes it seem like she has a thing for Taylor. We passed a twenty-something artist and his girlfriend, sitting on the sidewalk with paintings propped up around them. The girl waved at Lisa as we walked by, and Lisa waved back. Guessing she's an important character, a cape probably, but not one of the Undersiders. Circus? Spitfire? IDK I know too few names at this point. Alternatively, that was Uber and Leet. If that's the case, Leet was probably the girl and Uber the artist. If Tattletale's really a hacker, it'd make sense for her to be friends with someone named Leet. I supposed they might have a TiVo, though I’d never seen one. TiVo?????? Seriously, though, the Undersiders have a pretty fucking sweet loft. Also, Alec's an artist apparently. Knowing young fiction, this will either be the only thing he talks about ever or he'll never mention it again. ```“I’m jealous,” I admitted, meaning it.

“Dork,” Alec said, “What are you jealous for?”

“I meant it’s cool,” I protested, a touch defensively.

Lisa spoke before Alec could reply, “I think what Alec means is that this is your place now too. This is the team’s space, and you’re a member of the team, now.”How all great friendships start.“Last time he went up against Shadow Stalker, he came back here and bled all over a white couch,” Lisa groused, “nine hundred dollar couch and we had to replace it.”

“Fucking Shadow Stalker,” Alec commiserated.OOOH! Shadow Stalker sounds like they might be a rival villain. (Part of Faultline's group, maybe? Or perhaps the Empire, though the Undersiders don't seem to have major issues with them yet.) Can't wait to see them.Brian came back from the other end of the loft, raising his voice to be heard as he approached, “Rache’s not here, and neither are her dogs. She must be walking them or working. Dammit. I get stressed when she’s out.” He approached the couches and saw Alec sprawled on the one.OK now I'm 99% percent sure Brian and this Rachel girl are a couple, or he wants them to be. Or alternatively, she really is a mass-murderer with a dog fetish and that's why he's worried. Either way, isn't her identity public? If so, _why_ does she walk her own dogs, instead of having the other Undersiders do it for her? Indication of obsession? Possessiveness? Or maybe they have someone who can disguise people; Regent, maybe? Not sure if it would fit with his name, though. Regent, to me, suggests he might be part of some sort of Parahuman lineage (not sure how far back it could possibly go, since didn't Scion only appear in the 80s?) and that his power is _really fucking good_. He's their heavy hitter, the one who packs the most punches. Maybe he's a mini-Superman, complete with the "powers as the plot demands".“We’ll get you one,” he said, like it wasn’t even a concern. It probably wasn’t. “We generally haul in anywhere from ten grand to thirty-five grand for a job. That gets divided four ways… five ways now that you’re on the team.”Sounds like Taylor will be rich very quickly; she'll probably be against spending the money at first but give in after a little. She is the Queen Of Slippery Slopes, after all. In fact, I suspect the Undersiders are aware of that, b/c of Tattletale and are actively baiting her into falling all the way down and becoming a villain. However, they probably won't like the new, unrestricted Taylor Hebert.“I do know everything,” Lisa said, “It’s my power.”Still thinking superpowered hacker, possibly with some sort of tinkery flavor to it, with a probable focus on spying on and tracking people.“What?” I said, interrupting Brian. My heartbeat quickened, though I hadn’t exactly been relaxed to begin with, “You’re omniscient?”

Lisa laughed, “No, no. I do know things though. My power tells me stuff.”

Swallowing hard, hoping I wasn’t drawing attention by doing so, I asked, “Like?” Like why I was joining their team?

Lisa sat forward and put her elbows on her knees, “Like how I knew you were at the library when I sent me the messages. If I felt like it, and if I had the know how, I’m sure I could have figured it out by breaking into the website database and digging through the logs to find the address you connected from, but my power just let me skip that step like that.” She snapped her fingers.Damn it. I was wrong, wasn't I? But honestly that's a _horrifying_ power; she just _knows_ things she shouldn't. Like "everything about everyone ever", apparently. Perhaps it's some sort of weird form of clairvoyance; her power sees everything going on at once, but she can focus it on a specific person/area and it'll relay whatever it finds to her for her to make sense of with her deductive skills. Like having an omnipresent, invisible and intangible drone. Heck, maybe she's lying and she's just a Tinker with a specialty in surveillance and cloaking; would certainly explain how Rachel's able to regularly go outside, seemingly.Not giving him a chance to reply, she turned to me and explained, “My power fills in the gaps in my knowledge. I generally need some info to start from, but I can use details my power feeds me to figure out more stuff, and it all sort of compounds itself, giving me a steady flow of info.”Honestly I'm not entirely sure what she means by this, but it definitely seems like _every single one_ of my guesses as to her power was wrong.Lisa’s smile widened, “I’ll admit I cheated there. Figuring out passwords is pretty easy with my power. I dig through the PHQ’s digital paperwork and enjoy a little reality TV by way of their surveillance cameras when I’m bored. It’s useful because I’m not only getting the dirt from what I see, hear and read, but my power fills in the details on stuff like changes in their routine and the team politics.”At least I was right about her tendency to spy on people. And the PHQ's the _Protectorate_ ENE HQ, right? So essentially where the heroes work, and possibly live. Makes sense that Taylor wouldn't want to join the Wards if it's actually like that; she rather seems to enjoy having _something_ of a normal life and the ability to just go home and get away from this, to just be her father's daughter for a while. (Angsty plot twist: He's actually her stepdad, in addition to being a cape (maybe Armsmaster if he isn't a villain; tinkers seem sufficiently bullshit for that to work, and he was relatively nice to Taylor, if a bit businesslike-- _just like her father_.) and she learns both of these secrets at an inopportune time (perhaps after her first mission with the Undersiders?) and ends up leaving him and her civilian ID behind and moving in with the Undersiders full-time.)she grinned her vulpine smileNo way this isn't a fandom meme. Honestly, this just feels like such a memetic phrase and Wildbow _just keeps using it_. There are other ways to call someone sly and mischevious that don't involve how foxlike their smile is. Still thinking she's going to end up with Taylor, eventually and probably only temporarily. Unless she's also a double-agent. Would explain why she hasn't been the nicest to Taylor (she went out of her way to mess with her...), despite seemingly wanting her to join the team and seemingly caring about her. Grue, Alec and Rachel probably aren't going to double-cross the team, however. They seem like they're actually villains, albeit probably sympathetic ones. I can't wait to hear how despite seeming to only be in it for the money, they all have tragic backstories. Actually, perhaps having a tragic backstory is part of gaining powers; Taylor's got a lot of trauma and the Danny interlude did suggest that things turned from idyllic to tragic rather fast. And logically speaking, it makes sense that the villains would all have a lot of mental trauma; they're the people who society has chewed up and spat right out. Calling it right now that every Undersider is some kind of minority or other oppressed group: Brian: Black, possibly not straight. Possibly a single (adoptive?) parent? He seems close to the other Undersiders, so it doesn't seem like he'd live away from them by choice. If he's got a kid who he's desperately trying to keep away from this, things suddenly make sense. Or maybe a little sister/brother (I'm leaning towards sister), if he's too young to even be adopting children? Either way, he's definitely doing this for someone else's sake. If said person is old enough (i.e. 13+; I don't think the Undersiders would employ such a small child), they'll probably join the Undersiders after a few arcs of melodrama. Or if they're not, they'll do it (complete with the melodrama) after they grow up. Which Wildbow may only do so they can be paired with whichever Undersider doesn't get paired up, since I'm 100% sure they're going to end up a set of three couples, instead of a proper team of five. Bonus points if this hypothetical sister thinks Brian's a hero before learning the considerably more unsavory truth. Alec: He's definitely either gay or bi. There is no way that boy is straight. Also, he's got a French name, which is a pretty good sign he's going to be a Flamboyant Gay, especially if he picked it for himself. Lisa: A woman, also gay (probably). Possibly asexual, maybe? (She's definitely not aromantic, though; there needs to be at least something to use for shipping bait and "will-they-or-won't-they" tension, as Worm is basically YA.) Rachel: Maybe she's transgender? I'm guessing here. Didn't Taylor describe her as unladylike in appearance or something like that? Also possibly a butch lesbian* / gender non-conforming in some other way. *If she's a lesbian, Tattletale isn't one. It's a rule of how these things work. Though in that case, Tattletale wouldn't be a proper token character and would instead exist as a plot device / excuse for exposition and probably only exists to avert the Smurfette principle.They didn’t get a chance to tell me. I heard barking from downstairs. A matter of heartbeats later I was standing, three paces from the couch. Three snarling dogs had me backed against the wall, drool flying from their mouths as their teeth gnashed and snapped for my hands and face.``` Rachel can't control her dogs = confirmed? Or maybe she's a bit more unhinged than I was thinking, or both? I'm currently thinking that she's actually the sweetest and most innocent of the Undersiders, appearances be damned (it also makes her alias of "Bitch" rather ironic), but I could be extremely wrong. Since she works with dogs, she also probably has some skill as a vet, and probably acts as the Undersiders' medic as well.

I'm also starting to think that the Undersiders are using their actual names, and that they really do trust Taylor. Unless they're all lying about their names to each other as well as to Taylor, though they seem too much like fire-forged friends for that.