#''uhm you might. get an opioid addiction....''

[tcypionate]

im so glad im overly paranoid about running out of my anxiety/sleep meds because i keep forgetting to make an appt with my psych and im almost out.....

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

Hiiiiiii, can you talk a little bit on what you know about ASPD and dopamine? But also, I guess, dealing with addictions as they form and prevention, in the context of this disorder?

hi! and uhm . oh jeez

so a disclaimer is that i am NOT a psychologist nor am i a neuroscientist, im just some guy with aspd who does research as a hobby

barring that, i am very knowledgeable about addiction (read: i get addicted to shit SUPER easily) so i can share a bit of what i personally do to identify the warning signs of addiction and stop myself before it gets unmanageably bad

so aspd as a disorder does come w some dopamine regulatory issues. apologies as my research might be lackluster, i focus more on the psychology than neurobiology because i am Not smart enough for That, but i DID find an interesting study about aspd's relation to our endogenic opioid system- i.e. the opioids our body naturally produces- one of those opiods is beta-endorphins. endorphins are our body's natural painkiller and also are associated with feelings of satisfaction and pleasure. in particular, beta-endorphins are responsible for, among other things, reward cognition. (yeah yeah im sourcing wikipedia deal w it)

so, these things are very important to how our brains process rewarding experiences, pleasure, and our brains' ability to help with pain relief.

so, what happens when it doesn't work? unfortunately i can't read the full study, it's not on researchgate and i am not paying 12 american dollars for forty eight hours with it. i am not gonna be a john but with a research study. so we're just going off the abstract! the abstract in question states that (bolding mine:)

[T]he problematic behaviours of persons with antisocial, callous, or psychopathic traits may be seen as desperate, unconscious attempts to stimulate their deficient [endogenic opioid system,] which plays a key role in brain reward circuits. If the needs of this system are not being met, the affected persons experience dysphoric mood, discomfort, or irritability, and strive to increase binding of endogenous opioids to receptors by using the rewarding effects of aggression by exertion of physical or manipulative power on others, by abusing alcohol or substances that have the reward system as target, by creating an “endorphin rush” by self-harm, by increasing the frequency of their sexual contacts, or by impulsive actions and sensation seeking.

so! the endogenic opioid system was found to be deficient in this study, which means if you have aspd, your ability to feel an internal sense of satisfaction or happiness takes a SERIOUS hit. dopamine causes an endorphin rush, and one of the easiest ways to get that endorphin rush that we NEED but cannot get, is via addiction.

i personally am very susceptible to addiction and have had to claw myself out of it three or four times by now. i am lichrally tapering off weed because it was starting to get REALLY bad. the thing about addiction is, the earlier you catch yourself, the easier it is to stop, because you'll have a bit more control over yourself. but that control can just as easily entice you to keep going, since you CLEARLY arent addicted because you can control yourself!

lots of things can be addicting. alcohol and drugs, obviously. gambling. shopping. That Damn Phone. the way to figure out your problem areas is to look inside yourself and ask- what do i desperately want? i personally want to be entertained, to lose myself, and to Win At Stuff. this will mainly be a trial and error as you figure out what you might get sucked into.

its best to know the early warning signs of addiction too, so you can spot them in yourself. this article is alright if u want a Professional Source (the behavioral signs are the most prudent for this,) but this tumblr post is REALLY good imo and comes from an addict directly, and the warning signs are pretty specific and are specifically written so you can figure stuff out yourself, not so you can Suss Out The Addict. another warning sign that i use a lot for myself is, when i first start doing The Thing i'll say something like "i'm not addicted, if i was, i'd be doing [X]!" or "im being healthy about this- i like it, but i'd never go so far as to do [X]!" and if i do end up doing [X], that's a sign i need to pump the brakes. FAST.

prevention is a tricky beast- first off, this will always be easier to do if you have someone who supports you in your life. pwaspd do not always have that however, so again here's what i do:

addiction, at the core of it, is self-medication. like the abstract said- we're desperate and we're hurting and we'll do anything to make it stop. the important thing is to, once you realize you're addicted, ask yourself what need this addiction fills.

like uuhhh..... weed. what need does this fill? novelty. excitement. and an escape from myself.

so, in order to get clean and STAY clean, i need to find something else to be novel and exciting, and i need to figure out WHY i want to escape from myself, and figure out what to do with it.

for me, i like video games a LOT and i have a ton of different hobbies. so i plan to bounce around from hobby to hobby, trying to progress skillwise in them so everything stays novel, and i can feel the excitement of getting new supplies. this is a bonus since i used to have a problem with constant impulse spending, but now i can get the Dopamine Rush of New Thing, but it's for something i have a concrete plan for. i'm not buying something just to buy it, because it fills an immediate need. but i DID get to buy something!

video games are also a form of novelty as you go through new areas or have new experiences. im replaying life is strange but im doing it with a couple people, having different experiences than the first time by virtrue of having different people at your side!

i also joined a new friendgroup (HI GUYS!!!!) and we're also doing a collaborative thing together so thats ALSO new! and i also have to learn new skills for it!

like. if i tell you "dont think of a red balloon," you're always gonna be thinking of a red balloon. the red balloon here is drugs. but if i tell you "think of a pink elephant," you wont be thinking of a red balloon. so you have to figure out what need that addiction filled, and find a new thing to fill it.

it'll be hard, especially since hobbies and such dont really deal with that quick-reward pathway that we need, but it's doable. i also highly recommend fast-paced and violent-y type games(/gamelike stuff), because every now and again u can feed the Need Easy Dopamine Now demon, its good for u. like, go to a rage room and break shit. download a really early version of yandere simulator when the game was just a murder sandbox (i.e. when it was actually not a slogfest to interact with) and go to town. download sims 4 and torture your sims or make one of them evil or whatever. dumb little shits that make you feel Big And Powerful. have a little dumb quick fun! because dumb quick fun is essential. which is why god invented drinking and weed, honestly, but we need to be careful w that lmao. so we need to find something else!

anyway i hope this was at all helpful or like, coherent lmao. i was gonna put this in the aspd tags but now i do not think i will. good luck out there dude o7