#''god i am nailing pretending to be a human so hard''

[lxkeee]

MY LOVE, IS MINE ALL MINE

pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x angel! fem! reader

fandom: Hazbin Hotel

genre: semi-angst

notes: will probably make more parts to this if anyone wants me to

PART TWO | PART THREE

Lucifer paced back and forth in his chambers, avoiding the piles of rubber ducks as he anxiously bit his nails. He had just opened the portal for his daughter to enter heaven for a meeting. He never felt this much fear in his whole life, he's worried for her daughter—he fears the higher beings would crush her the same way they had crushed him.

“I am sure she'll be fine...” he mutters, his eyes landing on the picture frame of him and charlie that's on his table—beside his newly created fire breathing rubber duck. It's not fine, Charlie is his pride and joy. He wants to preserve her smile and shelter her but she's a grown woman now and he regrets missing out on her life as he was busy wallowing in self pity.

Lucifer's shoulders hung low as he let out a long and tired sigh, his legs brought him to the balcony of his chambers, grabbing his newly made fire breathing rubber duck in the process, pushing the doors open and leaning against the railings, placing the duck on the railings. “Now that I've thought about it, I made so many regrets in life.” he mutters sadly, his eyes gazing at the smoke filled skies of hell. He couldn't see any stars or moon. He remembers when he was still up there, always gazing up in the sky with, “[y/n]....” says sadly. She was the only angel who believed in him, who agrees with him. They were best friends, he used to fly around the skies with her. She was one of the first few angels God created, he is one of those angels of course. His the one that got away.

“....and with that, I think humans should have free will, they shouldn't be stuck following so many rules.” Lucifer mutters, avoiding the gaze of his best friend, “I know, you probably think it's idiotic to think like tha—” his voice was cut off as the girl beside him placed a shushing finger over his lips. His wings fluttered from the contact of her skin against his lips, cheeks heating up slightly. “Don't think like that, your dreams for mankind are amazing and I agree, too many rules aren't fun.” [y/n] giggles softly as she removes her finger away from his lips.

At that moment, Lucifer was able to gaze at her smiling face. Her three pairs of wings flutter behind her—so warm whenever she hugs him, her hair perfectly framing her face—so soft to touch, the golden halo on top of her head—like a crown, her beautiful smiling face—especially her lips, he wonders what it feels like against his own. Oh god, he's falling for her isn't he?

Lucifer shakes his head, he shouldn't be thinking inappropriate thoughts about her. He just composed himself and pretended his golden heart isn't pounding so hard against his ribcage.

Lucifer laughs softly, gazing at the city of hell. “I wonder what would've happened if I didn't back out of my confession that day, she looked excited too..” he wonders.

“[y/n], can I please talk to you... Alone.” Lucifer nervously says as he looked at the female angel before him, he had to take a deep breath in hopes of his beating heart to calm down for a second or else he'll end up with a heart attack. “Oh? You needed me for something?” she asked him gently with a smile, he would've responded “I needed you in my life” if he had the confidence, “I just needed to talk to you, that's all.” He answered meekly and [y/n] was worried because he seemed nervous, she nodded and followed him to an area where there were no other angels.

“Is there something wrong?” [y/n] asked him softly, holding his hands. Her hands were soft against his own. He avoided her gaze and he could hear his heart thumping loudly in his chest. This is it. “I just wanted to tell you that...” he pauses, voice shaking. [Y/n] looked at him expectantly, “that I like you...” he continued and her eyes widened, her cheeks heating up slightly, her heart beating loudly too unknowingly to Lucifer but the poor man misunderstood her reaction and quickly panicked, “to be safe out there when you do your roundly checks on the Garden of eden.” he finishes quickly and nervously.

“I couldn't forget her reaction, she looked so disappointed.” Lucifer mutters with a sad chuckle as he remembers how her face fell in slight disappointment. He didn't know why back then and it took him years to realize that she wanted him to confess. “I am such an idiot, right?” he says and looks at the rubber duck beside him. No response.

Even though he regrets not confessing as he planned that day, even though a part of him wished the outcome was different. He would've been happy with [y/n] but part of him is thankful he didn't, because if he did, Charlotte wouldn't be here.

Speaking of Charlotte, he is now back to worrying for her. “I spent my time thinking about my past love when my daughter is up there talking to them!” he exclaimed, running his fingers through his blond hair. He hopes someone is kind enough to help his daughter up there.

Unknown to him, a certain angel he was just recalling is currently talking to his daughter up in the skies and showing her around.

[lurkdragonstuff]

I'm an atheist and a philosophical materialist. I don't think there's anything more to the universe than what can be observed and measured. Disagree if you want, that's fine, but take as read that this is where I'm coming from.

As you can imagine, this makes it very strange to me that my brain thinks I'm a dragon.

I have been trying to square this circle for years. Since around the 2000's, when I first made contact with the Internet, I would look in on the otherkin community, and the draconic community nested inside it, and I would think, man. I wish I could believe that. I wish I could believe that souls were real, and that I had one, and that it was a dragon, and that's why I was so odd. For quite a while, I just explained it as a furry fandom thing. Sure, yes, my fursona is feral, but ferals are furries, too. This is still true! I'm still in furry fandom, and my dragonself still acts as my fursona. But they are also, in a deeper sense, me.

I'm a secular pagan. I don't think gods exist, and I don't think magic is literally real. I can't really cast a curse on shitty charities. The moon's a big shiny rock. It doesn't care if I roar at it when the sun reflects off it just so and I can see the whole of its tidally locked face.

But my dragon brain doesn't know that. It likes the big shiny rock. It likes little shiny rocks, too. It likes to light things on fire, and considers this a sacred act, both bringing destruction to noxious things and bringing honour to things worthy of it. It likes to growl and hiss when things annoy it. It likes to collect things, to have a hoard. It likes to range around its territory, keeping an eye on what's around in what season. It finds it frustrating that its wings don't seem to work at all, and its other limbs barely better. It wants its tail back. It wants its fire breath.

I'm autistic. Sometimes speaking is hard, and I growl and hiss when things annoy me. I like to collect things related to my special interests; I have a sprawling collection of cetacean, Nintendo, and SEGA figurines, as well as lots of little animal figures. Plushies, too, and videogames, and books. I do wildlife photography, as well, marking who's around in what seasons. This is, to my frustration, limited a lot by waning energy because of chronic health problems.

If backed into a corner, to say what I really believe, of course I'm a human. It is in my DNA, expressed in a bipedal body plan, five fingers on the forelimbs only, nails and not claws, no wings, no muzzle, no tail, short neck, skin and fur instead of scales. Not even any horns. I find this frustrating, but it is what it is. I also find it frustrating when people call me 'she' and not 'they', and that really there is no feasible gender presentation that would guarantee that strangers would use the right word. The best I can hope for is that people will read the 'they/them' button on my hat, or otherwise call me 'he'. Still wrong, but at least novel.

I honestly think my draconic identity developed when I was younger as a way to explain why I was so weird. I have never been normal. I will never be normal. As an adult, I have fancy words like "autism" and "anxiety and depression secondary to post-traumatic stress disorder" and "seasonal affective disorder" to explain why I'm abnormal.

But a part of my brain, I think the same one that still believes in magic and deities even though I don't, tilts its head, then grins a sharp grin and says, "Cool story, bro. I'm still a dragon."

I generally have, for any given of my eccentricities, the philosophical materialist explanation (generally that I am either brainweird in some way or another or am playing pretend for placebo purposes to manage executive function etc.) and the dragon explanation (generally what the pretend play revolves around). But - and this is hard to explain - it isn't exactly playing pretend, either. It's me.

When I'm pretending to be Link, either playing a Zelda game or writing Zelda fanfic, Link isn't me. I might be inhabiting him as an actor, but he isn't me. When I play Animal Crossing, and I'm playing a character named after me, that's closer. It's me but greater. Me but more. Me existing in a life I wish I could have.

When I put on my mask, when I sit and daydream about the multiverse-hopping shenanigans I get up to, when I hiss at someone startling me by getting into my space, that's me. I'm not a dragon, I'm a human wearing a mask, daydreaming, hissing because "back the fuck off!" isn't allowed in the workplace.

Yeah. Cool story, bro.

I am still a dragon.

[tsutsumi-kurose]

Thoughts on the new chapter?

so many!!!! we got so much thematic/character stuff and a lot of lore implications as well!! I’ll try my best to cover all my thoughts!!

mitsuba SHINED this chapter he was GLOWING he was so brave and clumsy and troubled, he absolutely NAILED the final girl role and I love that so much for him!!

he also had some of my favorite thematic moments. I especially loved the yorishiro destruction panel:

LOVE love love love that he TEARS IT APART WITH HIS TEETH !!!! when we’ve learned this mitsuba has supernatural mitsuba’s memories!! the HAT oh my god the symbol of the hat flying off in the moment when he goes full feral to save this girl and himself… when that’s a part of himself supernatural mitsuba tries so hard to hide and suppress… this mitsuba dives into it for the sake of his own life and the life of his underclassman. mitsuba tears something apart with his teeth, leaning into his more monstrous instincts, to be a hero!! the hat is so silly but also I’m choosing to read it as a symbol of hiding the parts of himself he’s scared of, and in this moment we see the beauty and strength in that part of him!! (go, queer monster boy, go!! I love you!!!!)

I also find this mitsuba fascinating for how he flips the script on picture perfect mitsuba

picture perfect mitsuba wants to pretend he’s human mitsuba… he wants his memories, even if it’s fake. 116 mitsuba… wants to remember!! he wants to understand!! he wants the truth!!

it’s hard to really know what to make of this though, because it’s hard to know who this mitsuba is. according to the supposed altered timeline, this should be alive mitsuba. but he has supernatural mitsubas memories… it raises questions mitsuba and tsukasa always have: what is a person? a soul? memories? both? to what extent?

to bring it back to him destroying the paper with his teeth: I would love… if original/human mitsuba had some of the same aggressive/feral tendencies supernatural mitsuba is so ashamed of, that make him feel so nonhuman, so monstrous. he doesn’t have human mitsubas memories; there could be so many similarities between them he can’t see!!

one last mitsuba observation:

his injured hand in 116 is the one always in his sleeve as a ghost and then as a supernatural. probably just a thematic thing rather than a lore one, but a really interesting detail!! are we barreling inevitably back to our original timeline?

kou is also really interesting this chapter, and in this arc in general, for his unwillingness to remember… he’s had multiple opportunities and ignored them all. very baffling, considering picture perfect kou’s and red house kou’s dedication to reality and all the pain that comes with it. not sure what to make of this just yet, but it’s something I’m keeping an eye on!! would love to hear other people’s thoughts on this!!

my favorite kou panel this chapter:

I am FASCINATED by the bandages slipping off his hand… they look!! incredibly familiar!!

I wonder what the parallel is here? could this be a lore hint, implying amane’s wounds were caused by whatever gave kou his injuries? or maybe just a thematic parallel of a boy in too deep trying to protect someone? someone putting himself in harms way willingly… much to think about!!

now some nitty gritty lore thoughts:

happy to report I am still steadfastly team “tsukasa is tsukasa”—I think original supernatural tsukasa definitely is tsukasa, and the white bubble of him calling out to amane suggests to me he’s still in there in this timeline too, just less in control. maybe that’s as good as neutralized to the clock keepers though? or maybe the yorishiro destruction was more tsukasa’s idea than the god’s, and the god is appeased by this ritual enough to not need to destroy any yorishiros?

do mysteries and their yorishiros even exist in this timeline?

on the topic of yorishiros, it’s interesting that the girl from the photography club was saved when the paper was destroyed but kou still got possessed… is it just one spirit traveling between targets, and it left the girls body to possess kou? but the girl and tsukasa seemed to be possessed simultaneously… so maybe destroying the paper did do something to help the girl? if the yorishiro allows connection between the supernatural and human realms, why the flowers? are they a sacrifice? the existence of the ritual itself is also confusing, because the god didn’t need any ritual to contact tsukasa in the red house… does this have something to do with the power of rumors? or is the red house maybe just a more powerful location than the school? why was amane hyping up the ritual? is tsukasa calling for him because he’s used to teacher amane being there and now he’s not?

as usual I find myself with a million questions lol, I absolutely loved this chapter!! would love to hear other thoughts about it!!

and as a closing note: I would die so fast in this timeline there’s no way I’m not playing with him he’s so cute even when supremely possessed

if he’s so evil why does he have a halo??

little angel confirmed <3

[summerlovingbaby]

The Right Thing

Y/N sat on the bed in her government issued apartment, with her government issued plain brown furniture, and government issue matress that was slightly softer than a rock. She sat on the hard matress, her left leg crossed over her right, listening to Keigo wash his face and watching the TV across from the bed.

“ Keigo.” she called out, listened as he turned off the sink, listened as the last of the water slipped down the drain.

His face peered around a doorframe, his hair still wet from the shower, skin still flushed and glowy due to the hot water from his shower, steam pouring out of the bathroom when he opened the door.

“ What is it?” he asked. “ The commission call?”

“ Do you ever wonder?” she asked, she looked at her lap and picked at the dead skin on her fingernails. “If we’re doing the right thing?” she said, she didn’t look at him, but felt her face get hot. “ I mean we call ourselves heroes, but the both of us have… have a past. The both of us have killed people, for the comission and the both of us have to do it again tomorrow.”

“ Y/N,” he ducked out of the bathroom and took the toothbrush out of his mouth. “ Don’t start this.”

“ I have to kill Toga tomorrow.” she said plainly. “ And you have to kill Twice,” she said. “ Toga is so young, she’s just a kid, she would be a highschooler. She actually reminds me of me when I was younger, before the commission grabbed hold of me and made me who I am.” she waited for Hawks to say something but he didn’t , just leaned on the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest. “ She’s just got me thinking, we’re all the same aren’t we?” she didn’t look up, just fiddled with her fingers, pressing so hard on her nail it popped off. “ Side effect of her quirk. “ Shit.”

“ In a way.”

“ I don’t know I just feel like under slightly different circumstances we could be them. I could have been her. I am her. Take off the cape what are we?” she asked. “ Cowards, we are all cowards. Cowards hiding behind costumes and the comissions and regulations and lies.”

“ Y/N.” he said. 

“ I’m just failing to see how we are any better than they are.” she threw her hands in the air and flopped back on the bed. 

Hawks strolled over to the bed and pulled her up by her shoulder, making her sit upright. He kneeled down infront of her, his golden eyes piercing. She studied the planes of his face, simple and chisled, like a god dawning at the new age. His face hardened beyond feeling anything but anger. His yellow eyes blazing with a hatred of the whole world.

“ We can sit here and talk about the objective morality of our job or we could do the job we are asked.” he said. He pushed his hands on his thigh. “ We save people, we save them. That’s what we do. We wake up and put on are costumes and pretend for 6 hours a day that we are good people. You wake up everyday and try your damnest to save them, they wake up everyday and think of creative ways to harm them. They kill people because they have bad days and have piss poor tempers, you’re killing yourself trying to justify a way to save them. Toga has committed multiple violent murders, remember that. That sweet innocent girl has killed multiple people.”

“ And Twice?” she peered up at him, and studied his face. It was hard and firm like it always was when they talked business, his high cheekbones carving out of his skin.

“ Twice is loyal, I’ll give him that, fun to grab a cup of coffee with, but that man is twisted in ways most human brains cannot comprehend. He is a very sick man, but he needs to be put down.”

“ You’re talking about him like he’s a dog.”

“ Well he’s acting like one.” he said and he stood, extending his wings. “ It took a while for me to realize that we will never be the same. You wake up everyday and try your damnest to save people, risk your life in limb to save people. Most civilions can’t comprehend the stuff we see, and we do it for them, we do it to protect them , to help them.”

He turned around and looked towards the wall and headed back towards the bathroom.

“ You’ll kill Toga tomorrow, and it might make you sick, you’ll probably hate yourslef more than you already do, but you’ll realize in killing Toga you’re saving lives.” he sighed. 

“ And Twice.”

“ Tomorrow, I’ll kill Twice, no sweat.” he said ,like it was simple, he leaned down and kissed Y/N lightly on the cheek, the stood and smoothed his hair down as he walked into the bathroom.

Suddenly a fresh white towel shot out of the bathroom at Y/N and she could hear Hawks shout.

“ Take a shower, you stink.”

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[oddyssey77]

The Festival Part 2 - Nico

POV Nico Di Angelo

I had been looking forward to the festival for weeks. And no, not because Will Solace is going to be there. Ok maybe a little. I have been pining over Will for weeks and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to get over him. Somehow though, every step toward the camp that I took, I became less and less sure that I was doing the right thing by coming to this.

I am now questioning whether I should've come at all. I hang at the back of the crowd as I normally do in situations like this. Children of Hades were never truly welcome amongst other half bloods and I have gotten well used to it. The dirty scowls, the nervous glances, the trying and failing to ignore him, it all builds up. And it always hurts. I wasn't even sure I'd be welcomed back at camp after the what happened last year.

It took over 45 minutes for Camp Jupiter and the huntresses to get themselves organised and for the rest of us to get in line. I spent most of my time leaning against a tree picking at my nails, but I also talked to Grover for a bit.

"You know, you couldn't look any broodier over there," Grover notes to me jokingly

"Yep," I say, "I am meticulously planning my operation to bring Kronos back to power and bring on the fall of Olympus all while staring deeply into a nailfile."

Grover laughs, which helps me loosen up a bit.

"So how are things going with Juniper?" I ask him. He shifts uncomfortably

"Gods man, I haven't seen you in forever." he says completely skipping over the question as if he hadn't heard me. I decide not to push it and help him change the subject.

"Well while you go around restoring the land of life, I reside in the land of the dead helping to assure people get fair judgement of their lives. So it's not like our to jobs cross paths all that much."

Grover laughed again, but had a pained look in his eyes.

"You haven't seen, umm..." He mumbles shyly. He looks like he is about to cry.

"Who?" I ask him, "I haven't seen who?"

"Never mind, its nothing" He states. I was about to press him on the matter a bit more but Grover isn't looking at me anymore. He is staring out into the field trying to make out a large figure with one eye.

"Is that..?" he begins "Tyson!" Grover leaps forward to greet Tyson while I hang back 

"Goat Boy!!!" Tyson yells as they run towards each other and meet in the middle for a hug like something out of a movie. They confer for a few minutes until Tyson looks over Grover's shoulder and notices me.

"Ahhhh!!!" he yells, still looking at me "ITS SCARY EMO DEATH BOY!!!" Tyson runs away from me while Grover chases after him.

"Alone again." I mutter to myself grumpily.

"Not for long..." a voice whispers in my ear. I look around but can't see anyone. "I've been looking forward to our reunion, Ghost King." I know he is talking to me even though no one ever really addresses me as Ghost King. "See you soon." I knew I recognised the voice from somewhere in my past but I just couldn't remember what it was. I wait for the voice to speak again but it doesn't.

~30 Minutes Later~

As the march up the hill begins I very much consider leaving and pretending that I had never been here. It would be easier that way. I didn't want to have to go up to Chiron on this day of joy and tell him about a spooky ghost speaking in my ear and telling me something's coming. Something bad. On the other hand though, this doesn't concern the rest of the camp and bringing my trouble here is only going to mess things up for everyone like it did last time. I finally make a decision and turn to leave when someone taps me on the shoulder. I pounce back from the jump scare. Human contact can catch me off guard sometimes seeing as I spend most of my time with floating, transparent souls.

"Hey, Nico," I finally pay attention to the person who was trying not to giggle at the fact that I jumped 5ft from being tapped on the shoulder. It was Percy, Percy Jackson.

"Are you coming in or are you just going to stand there?" I was going to tell Percy the truth about how unwelcome I felt but I didn't really want to share my feelings with someone who I only see a few times a year. Although, a few times a year is a lot more of me than people see of me nowadays. I also realise that now I have been greeted by Percy there was no way I could get away with disappearing.

Percy is walking me through the camp when I see my cabin. Cabin 13. I hadn't even thought about having to stay in my cabin. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to face being in there again since the incident. I try to find an excuse to turn around and go somewhere else but nothing comes to mind. Every step closer to the cabin, my lungs get tighter. Percy starts to notice.

"Are you alright?" Percy asks clearly worried for me. I can tell he's being nice to me mainly because we were both besties of Jason

"I don't think this was a good idea," I tell him, turning away from the cabin.

"Listen to me Nico. Everyone has forgiven you for what happened. Even Travis."

"And Connor?" I ask him already knowing the answer.

"Just go into the cabin Nico, I promise you will love it."

Hesitantly, I make my way to the front door. Everything looked the same as before I wasn't sure what Percy meant when he told me I would love it but so far I was definitely not loving it. I reach my trembling hand for the door knob when Percy stops me.

"Wrong door Nico," he says to me as he turns the corner around to the side of the cabin. I walk around the side and realise that the whole thing has gotten an extension. There was now a new room attached to it, one that wasn't quite as black as the rest of the building and had instead took on a more dark grey color. Painted on a plank of wood were two words NICO'S ROOM.

I couldn't believe it. They cared the other campers cared about making things better for me after what happened. When I walk into the room I notice that I am smiling for the first time in months. I look around see a classic teenager's bedroom that still retains my whole darkness theme.

There is a desk with a load of notebooks and sketchbooks ready for usage. There is a framed photograph of me and friends on the bedside table. Oh, and the bed, the bed is a incredible. It was soft and comfy, with black silk covers. It has a dark wooden frame with a large bedhead with an odd array of buttons. I decide not to ask about them and instead think about how much comfier this bed is than the one on the other side of the Hades cabin which was made of hallowed obsidian from the underworld. 

"It's beautiful," I tell Percy, still in shock.

"You have to do one more thing," Percy says, "Close your eyes and lie down on the bed." I do as I am told, trusting Percy to safely direct me to my bed without bumping into anything on the way. I lay down, face up and Percy tells me to open my eyes. I am staring directly at a mural on the ceiling and I am shocked. A tear streaks down my cheek. 

I was looking at a navy ceiling with a ton of painted white stars and in the center, painted skillfully was my sister, Bianca. She isn't dressed in her hunter's outfit or a camp half blood tee, instead she is simply wearing casual, human clothes. Her hair is tied in a singular braid that was hanging down the front of her left shoulder. She was leaning in with a kind smile and an outreached hand as if to help someone up after falling down. 

I hadn't realised just how much I was crying. I didn't like how vulnerable it made me feel but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

"Who painted this?" I croaked

"I did," but it wasn't Percy who had responded to me. I turned around and saw Will Solace smiling at me. I put my feelings aside and hugged him.

"Thank you," I sob, "That's the first time anyone has recognized Bianca as anything other than a huntress or a daughter of Hades. That's the real her, that is my sister."

~4 Hours Later~

It is 5 o' clock and I am on my way to see if I can help prepare the Dining Pavilion for dinner. On my way, I decide to visit Cabin Eleven to talk with Travis Stoll. I slowly make my way to the cabin door trying to find the right words to say to him. I knock on the door, even though it wasn't much of a knock, more like a nervous tap. The door is opened by a tall figure with slick, black hair. It was Connor Stoll.

"You," He grumbles malevolently, looking like he wants to punch me. I couldn't really blame him though could I, "What do you want."

"I want to talk with Travis." The other Hermes campers notice me standing on their porch and start whispering frantically with each other.

"Why, so you can break his arms too!" he is furious now and I begin to think this wasn't so great an idea and step back to leave

"Connor, who's at the door?" a voice speaks from the back of the room and I know its Travis. But before anyone could say anything else the door slams shut in my face and I think I hear Connor telling Travis that it was nobody.

~1 Hour Later~

When everyone arrived at the dining pavilion for dinner, I was taken aback by the sheer amount of people standing there waiting for Chiron to speak. Mr. D commanded the group to....

"SHUT THE F$*k UP!!!" Everyone fell silent. "Thank you all for coming to this event and stuff. To the parents, can I just say that your kids are a joy, and it has been a pleasure to teach and train them everything I know over the last years. So if anyone would be kind enough to write a recommendation letter to Zeus about how my punishment deserves to be expedited a few decades please see to the pen and paper I have placed on that table."

"Alright, that's enough Mr D," Chiron managed to interrupt him before Mr D got the chance to convince people to get him some wine. Chiron continued with a much longer and more boring speech so I decide to step away for a few minutes. I see three people over by the Athena cabin. It is Annabeth and a short, middle-aged man with glasses who I assume is her father. They seem to be in a three-way argument with a Korean woman who looked like she could be Annabeth's step-mom. It ends with Annabeth storming into the woods and Dr. Chase trying to go after her but the woman holds him back. They turn toward the big house and make to leave the camp. I spot Percy look in Annabeth's direction trying to figure out what happened.

"Now let's eat!" I hear Chiron shout. Behind him is a large array of tables all in one line. No one was separated by Cabin like things usually are. Instead Anyone sits down anywhere. I am invited by Will, Leo and Percy to sit with them and shyly make my way over there. The tables were adorned with all kinds of meat, vegetables, sauces, stuffings and soups. I pick a small piece of chicken onto my plate alongside some carrots and peas. 

"That's all your getting?" Will asks me curiously.

"For now, I'll grab some more later," I tell him through my teeth. Will nods his head but didn't really look like he was paying attention to me anymore. He is staring into the distance as if he's dreaming. It takes a few seconds but he eventually snaps out of it with a look of shock on his face

"We have to go, They're coming," he says looking more terrified than I'd ever seen anyone in my life.

"Who?" Leo asks urgently.

"My father sent me a vision. It was an army of stone warriors, marching up the hill," he is shaking now "they are on there way and... they just killed Annabeth's parents"

This Chapter is dedicated to Ella

[sawyerconfort]

Every Breath You Take | Barbara Minerva x Fem!Reader (Part One)

Okay, this is just a draft. I don't know if I'll ever post this or if I'll actually continue to write a sequel. The flop of this movie really bums me out (although I didn't particularly like it), I feel Barbara is a good character despite that, and Kristen Wiig nailed it in every way.

As much as WW84 has gotten old (hahahaha), I had this idea some time ago and had posted a oneshot in Portuguese on Wattpad with this excerpt starting. I was re-reading it today and decided maybe it would be cool to turn this oneshot into a series.

Hope you like it. We have few oneshots with Barbara/Cheetah, and she's my favorite character, so... it's just a contribution!

Now that I'm on vacation, I want to post more here too!

Enjoy!

Got any requests? Send me an ask!

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Every Breath You Take | Barbara Minerva x Reader

PREMISE: Barbara would do anything to have you with her... except change the habits of having a hard heart and a willingness to stalk your life.

MENTIONS OF: Stalking, manipulation, smut, oral sex, fingering, a little bit of gaslighting, dom!Barb, sub!reader, pyscho!Barb, some spoilers of WW84.

* * *

There you are. Hello, (Y\N).

My God, how beautiful you are. I don't remember seeing you beautiful like that while I still knew you, while you pretended I was your friend and kept raising expectations for me.

Yeah, I know you faked it. I always knew. But I don't judge you, I will never judge you. Also why, who - besides boring Diana - would be friends with a gangly goof like Barbara Ann Minerva? Like me? You even pretended well, you know? It is because of your pretense that we are here today. You and me. Together again. Ironic, isn't it?

Remember when I said I'd never leave you? That's what I was talking about.

At that moment, you won't see me, and if you see me, you won't recognize me. I became prettier than when we last saw each other. And I'm glad you think I died in that stupid rock explosion, because I can imagine how you would react having to fight me now. Could you handle it? Yeah, I don't think so.

You are here, in the same park as I am now. I would even call it a coincidence, but it's not like I didn't know you were going to come here. Lately, you've been coming here every day to walk that harmless little dog of yours. And he barks at me every day.

God, (Y\N), are you so stupid that you didn’t even notice me? I’m such a bad liar...

Again, like every day, you pass without looking at me. You barely notice me, which I think can pass, just for today, because my plans are different.

I want you to feel like being with me. I want to make you love me, madly.

Because I love you too. Hopelessly. And I can't lose you again, not this time.

* * *

I was such a fool when you met me. I believed that human beings were really good, I lived with my head in the clouds, bumping and tripping on every step, making people laugh at me and guys harassing me in the streets and accepting it. It's just that I evolved, and now, I'm not that girl you used to know.

One thing hasn't changed, thankfully. I still bump into you in the most unlikely of places.

Only now, it's because I want to. And because I know exactly where you'll be.

When you stop at your usual coffee shop and wait for the idiotic guitar-playing man - who I know secretly wants to have sex with you - to pet your puppy, that's where I come into play. That's where the first part of my plan comes into play. You won't remember me, I hope, but I'll leave a big mark on you so you'll want to see me more often.

Yeah, there you are again. Leaving the dog outside, the guitar freak promises he'll take care of him for you - damn it, I wish I could finish him off right now... - and I see you walking towards the inside of the cafeteria. I hide my face in the menu, watching you from the corner. You come and order a plain coffee, with smoke and cream on top.

And that's where I rise, to make a mark on you.

The first time I did this we were at a fancier restaurant. I had just had the time of my life with Diana Prince, and I was so flustered that I didn't even notice the people passing in front of me. All I cared about was that Diana had loved me, and that I needed to order my macchiato before I left.

It comes full of smoke, the way you like it in your coffee, and since it's the first time I've been walking in heels, the biggest challenge is balancing myself and the cup so I don't get burned all over.

But then, you appeared. And we bumped into that restaurant. And I spilled my macchiato all over your brand new outfit...

"I'm sorry," I say. "Didn't see you there, I guess I was distracted."

You got nervous, but you pretended you weren't out of sheer compassion. "Don’t worry, it was my fault. I wasn't looking where I was going and I ended up... well, I ended up bumping into you."

Remembering that brings a smile to my face that I haven't had in a long time. And it's time to redo the scene, now years later, we're both matured, but the love and impact of the first meeting remains the same.

I get up, stealthily, just so I don't look like I've been counting your steps. You get your coffee while I keep walking in heels that make a splash. I improved, with them I could be a thousand times more skilled now. Leaning against the bench, I say, not even noticing you. But, dammit, I fake it really badly:

"A macchiato, please."

Your eyes. Fuck, that's it. You remembered me. Your eyes widened, little one. Was it my voice? My request? Or my face that hasn't changed much except for the glasses?

"Your name, please," the barista says, sliding a small plastic cup into the machine. He smiles in my direction. "It's the custom of the house, we decorate the glasses with the names."

And now. It's the time when I'm going to make you confused and want to know more about me.

"Barbara Ann, like in the Beach Boys song," I grin. You tilt your head, glance at me and grab your cup, coffee steaming as you walk away.

"Thanks for stopping by, Miss Ann," the barista says, all cute and intimidated.

I don't answer. I just withdraw. I need to find you and pretend I'm a good actress.

Bingo! You are about to leave the cafeteria. I hurry to leave too, discreetly, and when you walk through the door, holding it, I pretend I didn't see you and end up dropping the glass on purpose. It lands on the floor, but a few drops land on your pretty blouse.

You turn and face me. The sparkle in your eyes is different. You remembered, I know. For a minute, you falter, trying to pretend you recognize me. But you're as bad an actress as I am, (Y\N), I have to admit.

"I'm so sorry!" you say it first this time. "Want me to buy you another coffee?"

I want to. I want you to pay me something else too, but not now...

"No, you don't have to, I...", I smile to keep the pose. "I might as well buy another one on my own, but thank you for your kindness..."

You nod, but you're still looking at me with that twinkle in your eye. You really want to ask me if I'm who you think I am. But I don't know if I want to answer you, really. Do you still despise me or do you think I'm the victim of the whole story?

This time, I decide I better walk away. I want that mark to stay on you, and I know it will. Your blouse stained with my macchiato is already an indication that you will randomly remember me.

[826aliensapocalypseactivism]

Perfect

Emilio R. 

“Everything was perfect.” I said to myself.  

I had a perfect life but experiments from the government ruined everything and I lost my family all because they wanted to create superhuman-like individuals but it went wrong. I thought to myself.

“Why did it have to get ruined?”  I said.

“It’s what god wanted” I turned around to see my somehow alive wife speaking to me.

“How are you alive? You died. I saw it happen.”  I tell what I believe is her.

“I’m not. I wish I was though. Now wake up.” She says.

I wake up feeling confused but happy. I look around to see the streets of Nashville deserted. It has a building with broken glass all along the bottom of buildings. Cement with cracks in them. Blood splattered along the streets like someone was chucking water balloons filled with blood everywhere. Not a single person in sight unless you count the dismembered body parts. The phantoms must have gotten right through the city tearing apart everything and everyone. I remember the day it happened. The government decided to experiment on “The Dead;” they thought it would be a good idea for them to create real life superpowers. Although, thinking about it, I am not too sure on what made them think that experimenting with dead people was a good idea to begin with. I mean have they seen sci-fi movies before. I thought to myself.  Anyways, it’s not like I can do anything that was almost 20 years ago. I was 26 at the time and now I’m 46. It was my birthday a week ago. March 17, 2046. I just wish I had just one friend. I am sure I will find someone. I can’t be naive and think I am the only human on earth. I will find someone. Right? No! There has to be others. I think to myself. Maybe I am wrong though. Completely wrong. As I walk towards Virginia I realize the Phantoms roaming around but in this group I see something. A tickler. They laugh maniacally and chase you with their endless stamina and if caught they will literally tickle you to death by “tickling” but it really is just them scratching you slowly digging their insanely long and sharp nails into until they puncture your skin and kill you. A slow but painful death. I also see a wrinklespire basically like a casual zombie just each one of the five senses is slightly enhanced. At least it isn’t the worst one, the worst is the Knight. It’s a regular Phantom with armor and a killer instinct unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Although, it’s okay just about every Phantom can be taken down with a shot to the head from a gun. But, the Knight is something that must be shot multiple times with a special type of weapon. So, hopefully I don’t run into one of those. So, I was able to take down the Phantoms with ease and continue on with my walk towards Chicago. On my walk over I was able to see some wildlife, something I haven’t seen in what feels like eternity. Honestly, this really shook me up when this first started. Growing up I was always the black sheep in the family with everyone being successful in business making but I want to be in the army. So, that’s what I did. I made sure to workout a lot starting from the age of 15. I worked so hard and it eventually paid off. I was the top of my class and fastest in everything with the best records set. I was shipped off many times to Vietnam and a couple places in China. I am an experienced veteran. Which is why I have been able to keep myself alive all these years. But, I am saddened as I am given grief everytime I fall asleep because I see my family before our final moments together. I am often finding myself talking to an image of my already deceased wife. I still don’t know why. But right now it is the least of worries. It’s been five days and I am getting closer to Chicago. Suddenly these dark thoughts cloud my thought process. Should I even remain living? Maybe it’s just best if I join my wife up in heaven. I think to myself. I move on though pretending that it didn’t happen even though it did. As I start heading through the forest I realize the beautiful trees dancing in the wind and the wind playing a song that’s peaceful for the ear to hear. In a matter of time it already turns to night and I look up to see the Stars winking at me in the night sky. I then wake up to the sound of my wife calling my name.

“Gabe, it's okay.” she says.

 “Melissa, no it isn’t. I should not be seeing you right now.” I say.

“There is a reason and you will find out soon. I promise.” She tells me.

“Don’t leave. Let me go with you this time. Please.” I say.

“No, it’s not your time, you still can find happiness in this world just be patient. Goodbye my love now wake up” She says.

Gasping for air I woke up confused from what just happened because this wasn’t like the others. She said I can still find happiness as if there are still other people in this world. After packing my things and eating a couple expired protein bars and drinking some water. I get on my way. I fight off some more Phantoms. I also managed to hunt down two bunnies. At the end of the day I am able to see the Skyline. It’s then when I remember the beautiful nights me and Melissa spent with each other out and even driving out far to admire the most beautiful skyline view I have ever laid my eyes on. Those were my happiest times. I think in my head. As I was about to fall asleep I heard a scream echoing through the trees and the wind. I grab my guns and head down to see a Knight attacking a group of people who seem helpless. I ran down grasping my gun. Yelling at it to catch its attention and once I got the looks from it I started to shoot it with no hesitation giving those people enough time to move out of the way. It’s then when I remembered I forgot to bring the weapon that is specifically meant to take down this type of monster. I can’t turn back so I  fight it off with my gun and sure enough I am eventually on my last bit of ammo. I shattered a little bit of its armor but not much. I still need the other gun. So, I tell the others to run and follow me towards my base camp and they do. We eventually get to my camp and I supply one of them with a pistol and the other with a knife as I take the weapon that can put down this monster forever. Eventually, it is running at us full speed in a rampage. So as the others with me were ready to attack it got closer and closer and eventually in the blink of an eye it was shot down but I didn’t do anything. It is then when I see a beautiful woman a little younger than me smiling at me with her eyes. She waved for us to run with her and on the way towards wherever we stopped at a building. She enters a code and all of a sudden the floors open up and I see people. I knew it. I think to myself. Finally, we are safe. The girl named Brianna looks at me and takes me to a place with food and supplies me with everything I need and brings me to a little house. Over the course of time I find out Brianna also used to be in the military which explains why she was such a good shot. We even started to live with each other. After a couple of months and after some time we started to date. I was able to confide in her relieving so much stuff I had built up. But still I would see Melissa. After a couple of months we eventually said the words “I do” to one another. It was then on the night when my dreams of Melissa stopped and they never came back since then. I know things will never be the same again but I am happy and happiness is all I need. 

In this story I include the things about Melissa because the dreams are to show how he still missed a lot ever since she died. Towards the end he refers to her as Melissa because he found love for a new woman in his life. Eventually, the dreams come to an end to show he is finally over Melissa’s death and he is ready to move on with the next chapter in his life.

[controversialcoven]

Hi I have more

I collect these like Pokémon cards

“The Narrative Has Doomed Us To Not Be Forevermore, Yet I Love And Miss You All The Same.”

“Humanity named kindness it must know kindness”

“And maybe I can't save her from this. But I can hold her through this part. I will hold her till the very end“

“We are without love or virtue, however we are forgiven”

“God+goddess, part of everything, owned by nothing.”

“I'll always find you again and again and I'II love every version of you and you're never truly gone as long as a part of you in me lives on”

“While you wash your body you realise it is not your body and at the same time, it is the only body you have.”

“You can only pretend you don’t have a knife in your chest for so long before you bleed to death”

"courage isnt the absence of fear, courage is the mastery of fear"

"I won't just gaze into the abyss, I'll maintain uncomfortable eye contact with it"

“The source of my grief and joy is the same”

“Well here we are, two souls discarded by the narrative! Maybe together we can be something worthwhile!”

“There is an aching inside you and you don’t know how it got there”

“Why don’t you let yourself just be wherever you are”

“I like to keep my god close and the devil closer, and he’s at the door”

“I am the universe looking back it itself”

“Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard”

“Would you still love me if I was unlovable? When I can't understand why, When I have been dropped and cracked and shattered, Would you glue me back together and paint my imperfections in gold?”

“My blood is alive with many voices telling me I’m made of longing”

“When I die, my nameless fingers will root into the soil and become gods”

“Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust The devil's after both of us. lay my curses out to rest Make a mercy out of me”

“I know that some things are set in stone, but even stone doesn’t last forever”

“She will rage against the machine and the dying of the light, she will fight tooth and nail for a path to victory, and she will not stand idly by even against forces that seem far more powerful than her. “

“When I die, I don't want to rest in peace I want to dance in joy, I want to dance in the graveyards, And while I'm alive, I don't want to be alone mourning the ones who came before I want to dance with them some more, Let's dance in the graveyards”

“Out of the past flows the future”

“The humans are here, wheres god? He’s still scared.”

“Time is an illusion and love is infinite”

I think I might make a series where I draw homestuck characters to some of my favorite quotes

Here are some of the quotes if anyone is interested

Tumblr loves to fuck up my readmore section so sorry if things are repeated or look weird fhshfhsbd

“If you worship someone too much you’ll end up losing your freedom”

“Human beings are love in motion”

“So you dodged a bullet that you wanted to take”

“You nailed down the windows and locked the doors but the cold was coming from inside”

“Of all the things you fuck I’m the most empty”

“And being my moms least favorite only child must mean I’m her favorite too”

“You can’t light a fire that’s already burnt out”

“He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair, and then he looked right through me as if I wasn’t there”

“Just let her crash and burn, she’ll learn, the attention just encourages her”

“It’s a felony in Florida to own a fake ID so tell me am I guilty if I change when no one is near me”

“The living need attention too”

“I will not let my grandparents bury their grandchild”

“We rise up to fight just to die, that’s just how the world works sometimes”

“For human grossly under qualified, for canine grossly overqualified”

“Kiss me with forever where only death remains”

“Your insides were never my size”

“I dig a hole in search of kites”

“This was all new to me once, and when it was it was so easy to love”

“I can’t feel my heartbeat so why would you give me a heart?”

“Falling in love with someone is wonderful so don’t call yourself the devil. I love you”

“If I’ve no one to fight how do I know who I am”

“Just because we live doesn’t not mean that we’ve survived”

“She tells the clock what time it is”

“To love and to be loved is to rest”

“I am that which seeks to know the compassion of the goddess within”

“Only once you’ve been unsheltered you can stand in the sunlight”

“Life is both mundane; life is beautiful”

“Being known is being loved”

“I am a mosaic of everyone I’ve ever loved, even for a heartbeat”

“yeah im perceiving the horrors but i’m also perceiving the beauty of life as well”

“And when we kill the gods neither heaven nor hell will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us”

“I wouldn’t change a thing, you’re the one I want to sink with”

“We live because of the dead”

“Spun sugar melts in water anyways”

“So what if I do it for attention, does that really make me bad?”

“We can’t go back, only forwards”

“Thy who bites is truly the bitten.”

“The pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing”

“I was like a patient who cannot tell the doctor where it hurts, only that it does”

“I’ll let you drag me to hell if it means you’ll hold my hand”

“It is not what you want but it is what you chase”

“In the name of peace we bring war”

“If wellness is this, what in hells name is sickness?”

“Unknowingly I prepare my punishment before I commit my crime”

“I've got no celebration, just this consolation; time eats all his children in the end.”

“I choose to burn out rather than fade away”

“At night I burn myself with cigarettes just to prove I’m still alive”

“Darling, it's the end of the world! We've reached the end of our usefulness and now we're doomed, let's waltz into the grave together!”

“We see the images flashing by, but cannot remember the names, just the fragmented memories that came along with it.”

“I’ve found another sense of comfort, another friend, another place to rest my head.”

“I strived to be like them. But I was still alone.”

“He came out in the end, losing more than anyone else.”

“Every time I listen to this I space out and think about everything I've ever done. All my choices and how they got me here. All the lessons I've learned, people I've met, things I regret, and things I wish I could change. All of it just seems so fast paced. Like I never experienced all of it. Thank you.”

“from ashes i was made, and ashes i return, and so i walk alone, and wonder why?”

“I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people”

“Time will not wait for those who are late”

“With the morning starlight and the midnight sun, we spin around until we’re one”

“She’s not what I wanted, she’s what I didn’t know I needed”

“She may not satisfy my desires, but she satisfies my heart”

“I want to find peace of mind, maybe no mind is the answer to that conundrum”

“Tomorow is nearly yesterday and everything is stupid”

“But I couldn’t escape myself no matter how badly I wanted to”

“Do the gods mourn their fallen?”

“You come into the kings court holding the hat of a jester and expect not to be laughed at?”

“You can fall asleep and wake up drunk on the sky”

“Not a girl, not a boy, just a little baby”

“Make a hell out of demons haven”

“A subtle drop of poison a day keeps the kings will at bay”

“To look death in the eye and not welcome her with open arms is to not accept life at all”

“I miss you like a past life, I can’t remember if you were ever mine to miss. I missed you like we both died, a star crossed endeavor. I’ll miss you in the next life.”

“All of existence had her hand tenderly upon your hip”

[ask-cloverfield]

Introductions

[ukiyokki]

mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

[featherquillpen]

Liveblog of the #21: The Threat audiobook

I listened to the (excellent) audiobook of Animorphs #21: The Threat yesterday and liveblogged it to @joysweeper on Discord. Here's what I had to say:

I think the acting choice to have David sound annoying in 20 was good because Marco hates him.. But I don't like that he also sounds annoying in 21. I think now is the time to lean into him being sympathetic

God I love the moment in 21 when Cassie calls David out for calling Tobias a bird racist. Cassie doesn't get to call out racism often in this series but I love it whenever she does.

Listening to the holiday inn bit and have many thoughts. I am actually totally on David's side that it's okay for him to squat in an unoccupied room, though breaking the window was dangerously indiscreet. Jake's insistence on following the law rings pretty hollow to me in his desperate circumstances

But the bit that really gets my hackles up is when David seems to think it's not a problem or a sacrifice at all that Tobias and Ax have to live in the woods. That's just so heartless to both of them

But it's very well written because his dismissal of Tobias and Ax's hardships foreshadows his moral justifications later that it's okay to kill non humans

It's a very clear difference that Jake feels compassion for Tobias and Ax and David feels none. Sure some of it is experience, but I would say that the sympathy for Ax's situation was pretty immediate for all the Animorphs when they first met him

I am very struck by how mealy mouthed Jake's scolding is. If a homeless person has a means to undetectably enter a hotel room I would say go for it. The hotel can afford it, fuck em

Ax honey how did you get to book 21 without learning what a hat is

But also, I am very intrigued by his horror at the notion of showing war on TV

Cassie is such a fucking mvp this whole trilogy

She did her best to help David settle in the hayloft

She manipulated David on the helicopter

She helped Marco demorph

She bit David, a wolf biting a lion, when he tried to sell out to Visser Three

She came up with the whole wretched awful David rat scheme

She saved the day so many fucking times and also she committed an unspeakable crime. Wonderful

And the whole time David thought she was harmless

It's so interesting that Jake was completely fine with boiling defenseless Yeerks in early book 6 and morally disturbed by it in book 21. His experiences with Temrash and Aftran changed him

The David trilogy slaps so fucking hard. It's just nonstop bangers. Not a dull moment

MacLeod Andrews (the audiobook narrator) is really nailing the emotional moments. The contrast in tone between private thought speech dissing David and publicly praising him is perfect

David's self pitying speech about how he's lost his whole life while standing over the presumptive corpse of Tobias is just so… Chef's kiss. Tobias sacrificed so much more than him. And David doesn't even consider him worthy to live

The action scenes here all go hard

There's a real theme of illusions in this book. The holograms. The fake Tobias corpse

An interesting AU to contemplate is one where David didn't pretend to kill Tobias and just peaced. He could have gotten away. Probably could have evaded the Animorphs forever. It's interesting that he didn't.

I guess ultimately he didn't because he resents the Animorphs too much. He needs to prove that he is better than them

Poor Ax though. The trilogy doesn't dwell on his pain here. But I think a LOT about how he must have felt hearing that Tobias was dead

Jake was the wrong person to have this mall showdown with David. Marco would have morphed cobra, snuck up on him, and poisoned him dead. Marco's ego doesn't require the showdown. Same with Cassie, she would have gone sneaky. But Jake is too like Rachel.

[inkareds]

Take Me To Church Matt Murdock // 1.1k

nav // marvel m.list // ko-fi ✧.* warnings: 18+ no minors please! Blasphemy of religion, taking God's name in vain, sub and whiny Matt, teasing, AFAB reader with no pronouns ✧.* genre: NSFW // somewhat fluffy smut

“We were born sick,” You heard them say it My church offers no absolutes She tells me, “Worhip in the bedroom” The only heaven I’ll be sent to Is when I’m alone with you I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well

Matt Murdock has to always be in control. He excelled in both his legal and devilish careers. In addition, his senses allow him to know, feel, hear, and sense more than the average man.

Then what was the problem with saying he always had to be in control?

With a mouth, Matt can conjure up words he can practically sing in court that would bring absolute success. With his hands, Matt can bring down the shit plaguing Hell’s Kitchen.

But, you can think of more than one thing he can accomplish with that amazing mouth and hands of his.

Despite the fact that the man needs to be in control, that does not mean he wants to be.

As now,

Matthew Murdock.

Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

Summa Cum Laude Graduate in Law.

Is below you.

His unfocused eyes search yours in vain, as his bare chest rises and falls. There were marks all over his skin. Scratches, bites, kisses. He was terribly and tragically handsome. Like a fallen angel almost.

“Darling please.”

And God, his voice. They were truly the sound of Heaven’s choir. You smirked as your fingertips ghosted his body. Reaching from his neck, slowly bringing them down to his chest, all the way to his abdomen. He craned upward at the goosebumps he felt following your teasing.

“Hmm.” You pretended to think to yourself. “You know.” You hummed shifting your hips as a stuttered moan left Matt’s throat with the way your weight shifted on top of his clothed cock.

“Baby-” “Shush Matthew, I’m talking.”

You could practically hear Matt hold back the whine that threatened to leave his mouth.

Grinning, your eyes land on the silk tied around his wrists placed on top of his head. You know he could so easily rip them apart and take you here and now. Take all that he desires. And you’d be lying if you said you won’t enjoy it.

But, Matt wanted to be a good boy, so he would never even think about doing such a thing.

No masters or kings when the ritual begins There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin In the madness and soil of that sad earthly sin Only then, I am human Only then, I am clean

“As I was saying,” you stopped the chuckle from leaving you, “You know,” you continued as you shifted your hips even more. Lowering your head to ghost your lips against his skin.

Letting your lips drag along his torso and up to his neck as he cranes his head to take you in a deep kiss.

“Fisk probably thinks that you’re this big strong guy,” you whispered against his ear, “I wonder what he’ll think if he knew how much of an obedient good boy you are.”

Matt shivered at your praise, he couldn’t reply. Not with the way your nails were still softly scratching his skin, your core on top of his cock, and your voice in his head. Your very presence made him dizzy.

Dizzy with love.

Dizzy with passion.

Dizzy with lust.

Seeing the way Matt started to breathe harder, you decided to put him out of his elongated misery. As this entire time, all you had been doing was teasing him. Nipping the beautiful expanse of his skin. Marking him as your own.

Shifting your hips against his painfully hard cock.

But never doing anything.

“You’re a good boy right Matt?” You whispered as you shifted your hips slightly downwards so your hand could sneak to his boxers. When your hand made contact with his hard-on, he let out a borderline pornographic moan.

“Yes, yes, oh God yes.”

You tutted your lips at his response, “I thought you were Catholic. Yet here you are, taking HIs name in vain.” His face contort in realization. Thinking you were going to continue your punishment because of this.

“I’m sorry baby, I-”

“Don’t worry love, lucky for you, I’m not your God.” You whisper as your hands grasp his cock. His body jolted from the bed at the sudden action as another moan wrack through his body. “But you’ll worship me like one.” Was the last thing you said before taking him out of his boxers.

You wasted no time moving your hands. Pumping it up and down as Matt broke into moan after moan. Your face contorted into a malicious grin.

Seeing the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

The man so dominant in the court.

The hero so strong on the battlefield.

So pliable, so obedient, under you, brought you more ecstasy than anything else in the world.

Despite this, despite his obedience, Matt was still a selfish man. He wanted more. He couldn’t stop just being a lawyer, he had to be a vigilante too. Now, he couldn’t stop just relishing your touch. He needed you.

He needed you like a sinner needed repentance.

“More, please baby, please.” Oh how good he sounded.

His little whines.

How adorable.

“Because you have been such a good boy today, I believe you do deserve a little reward.” You hummed as you took off the last article of clothing on your body.

Your underwear.

Matt could practically taste your arousal in the air. He could smell it in his nose. He threw his head back at the mere thought of you finally giving into him.

You chuckled at this, biting your own lip as you hovered your own soaking cunt over his cock. As you slowly moved down, Matt could swear on his blind eyes, that he started to see.

What did his eyes see?

Not the ceiling of his apartment.

Not your blissed out expression as you slowly felt him filling you up.

He saw Heaven.

He saw Heaven in the way your body was connected to him. In the way your soft moans swimming in the air with his louder ones filled his ears.

He loved the feeling of you tightening around him. Of you using him to your own terrible humour as you tease him for hours. Only to take what you deem he deserves.

Matt loved being in control. He needed to.

Society demands it of him.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t ache to be a tool just for the pleasure of the person he loved. You.

Take me to chuch I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Oh good God, let me give you my life

I hope you guys enjoy the first time I'm posting anything remotely smutty on Tumblr! I've written smut before but as you can see I'm not as good with it as I am with other genres! I hope you guys can still see some good in it though and I'll be posting the next chapter of In Another Lifetime (A druig Fanfic that you guys should really check out cause its amazing) sometime this month. (it may or may not have another smutty scene)

[sortasirius]

Dean Winchester be like:

I hate myself because it’s what my father taught me to do.  I hate myself because it’s a defense mechanism.  I use sarcasm to cover up the fact that I believe I am worthless.  I raised my brother into a good man, that’s the only good I’ve ever done.  I’ve saved some people, they don’t say thank you, but that’s okay.  I wish I could have been the man my father wanted me to be.  I break everything I touch.  All the people I love I end up killing or leaving me.  I am broken.  I don’t do romantic love, it’s asking for me to get my heart broken, more broken than it already is.  I sold my soul to a demon so I could save my brother, because he’s the best thing I ever did, the only good thing.  I’m afraid to go to Hell, but I pretend I’m not, because what’s the alternative? 

Hell proved that I was the person I always knew I was, a bad person, willing to torture to get out of pain.  I met an angel, he’s not like I thought.  He’s a soldier, like me, he’s taking orders from a father he can’t see.  He starts out as an ally, but he’s different than the others, they say he likes me.  He’s awkward, he stands too close to me sometimes.  I started the Apocalypse because I wasn’t strong enough.  My brother is going down the wrong path, and I don’t know how to stop it.  The angels tell me Lucifer has to rise, but the one that pulled me out of Hell disobeys to help me stop it.  I think I should consider him a friend.  Lucifer rises anyway. 

The angel is on the run from Heaven, he’s a good guy, I like him a lot, more than I think I should.  I don’t know what to do, if I say yes to Michael, we can save some people.  Maybe I’ll get to know peace, maybe my father will be proud of me then.  The angel and my brother are angry at me, but I’ve always been a coward, they just don’t know it.  But they know me best, I can’t say yes to Michael if it means disappointing them. 

My brother goes to the cage with Lucifer and Michael, the angel disappears, and I’m left to pick up the pieces, living a life I feel like I stole from somebody else.  I always sleep with a gun and holy water under the bed, even though I know every entrance is secure.  My brother comes back, but he’s different now, he’s not the same, I should have looked for him.  I feel guilty.  We found out his soul is gone, his soul, his soul.  The angel is back, but he’s no real help.  I kill myself to speak to Death, who brings back his soul in exchange for me playing Death, where I learn a few hard lessons. 

I find out the angel has been working with our enemies.  Why does it feel like my heart is broken when he won’t meet my eyes?  I leave him to the demons, but not before one last look.  I’m not sure why.  The idiot, he ends up dying trying to get souls from Purgatory, desperate to win his war in Heaven.  Why does everyone leave me?  The Leviathan are out there, a new threat.  At least I know how to kill, so I won’t have to think about the muddy trenchcoat in the trunk of my car.  I lose the closest thing I have to a father with a bullet to the brain.  I feel like I’m spinning out of control.  My brother loses his mind.  The angel comes back, he doesn’t recognize me, that hurts.  When he does remember me, I tell him we need him, but I really mean that I do. 

I get sent to Purgatory, I meet a vampire turned ally turned new best friend, but I won’t leave without the angel, I can’t leave without the angel.  We find him, he was running from me, why does everyone run from me?  We make it out of Purgatory, the angel gets left behind.  It turns out my brother didn’t look for me.  Why am I so dispensable?  The vampire is the only one I can trust now.  I dream about the angel, about the way I couldn’t save him.  I feel like I can’t save anyone these days.  I see the angel in the air around me, am I going crazy?  But then he shows up behind me, why do I care so much about him?  I don’t even care where he came from, as long as he’s here.  My brother takes on trials, they start to hurt him.  We find a place to call home.  I’ve never had my own bedroom before.  The angel is distant, I wish I could reach him.  He doesn’t answer my prayers.  He and I find the angel tablet, he hits me.  I tell him I need him, never able to tell him that I think I might love him too.  He snaps out of it then walks out of my life again.  I wish I was lovable.  I almost lose my brother to the trials, he has to know I can’t lose him, he’s all I’ve got.  The angels fall, I wonder about my angel, if he’s alright. 

My brother is dying, and I make a deal with an angel to save him.  My angel says he’s a good guy, and I’m too desperate to vet him properly.  I watch my angel, now a human, die in front of me, the angel in my brother saves him, it’s one of the only times I’ve ever put someone else over my brother.  I feel guilty about that.  I have to kick my angel out, it tears me in half to do it, but I have to protect my brother.  I watch the angel from a gas station window, I try to find the courage to go see him.  I use humor to hide how much I miss him.  My brother finds out about the angel, which cost the life of a kid I was supposed to protect, he’s so angry at me.  Well, I deserve it this time.  I take the Mark of Cain to defeat Abaddon, it can’t be all that bad.  I start to lose my grip on myself.  My angel gives up an army for me, and it’s the closest I feel to being me in months. My brother and my angel try to stop it, but it’s too late.  I die in my brother’s arms.

I wake up with black eyes.  I don’t care about anyone, anything.  There’s a tiny part of me that’s screaming to wake up, but I drown him out easily enough.  My brother finds me, says he wants to cure me.  I don’t want it, I don’t want to be me, not feeling is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  They do cure me though, my brother and my angel, and waking up from the blackness is like surfacing from deep water.  For a while, I feel loved.  But after what I did, I don’t feel like I deserve it.  I’m still not me, and when my friend, who I loved like a sister is taken, I go off the deep end again. It’s too easy, but violence is all I know.  The angel tries to stop me.  I have him where I want him, a blade to the heart and this is all over.  But I still can’t kill him, I still can’t kill the angel.  Death tells me I have to kill my brother.  I almost do it.  But killing Death releases me, and I’m me again.  Sometimes I still wish I wasn’t.

I have this connection to this Darkness.  It scares the hell out of me.  I wish I understood it, I wish I could stop it.  Am I pulled towards the Darkness because I, myself, am darkness?  Is it because I am, because I’ve always been bad?  I lose the angel to Lucifer himself, how did I not notice until it was too late?  Why would he leave me like this?  Will I ever get him back?  My head is foggy around the Darkness, but not when it comes to him.  I just wish I could get through to him.  Lucifer taunts me, my heart rips in half.  We get the angel back, but nothing good can last in this life, can it?  God himself returns, I have to sacrifice myself to stop the Darkness.  I’ll do it, because of course I will, if I have an opportunity to do some good, I’ll take it.  The Darkness doesn’t kill me.  She thanks me.

My mother is alive.  It’s everything I’ve always wanted.  I have to learn fast that she’s not what I thought.  That’s hard.  Me and my brother end up in prison for trying to kill Lucifer, and we find out this girl is going to have his kid.  How will we kill someone innocent?  I can’t think about that, I’m a killer, I’ll kill if i have to.   The angel kills a reaper to save me, but what will happen to him?  We start looking for this kid, but do we even want to find it?  The angel nearly dies for me, he tells me, my family he loves us.  I wish I could tell him the same, but the words won’t work right in my brain, so I do what I always do, I look away.  The angel finds the girl, but the kid inside her gets to him, and he runs away from me.  Why does everyone run from me?  We find them just in time to find a rift to another world, and my brother has to drag me away from the angel, who is going to sacrifice himself to kill Lucifer.  He comes back, but before I can say the words I’ve been holding onto for so long, he dies in front of me, only this time, it’s real.  My mom is taken from me too, and I’m left by the angel’s side, staring up at the sky, wondering why, why me?

I bury the angel, my brother insists we can’t kill the kid, even though it’s his fault my mom is gone and the angel is...  I beg God to bring him back, please, bring him back.  You owe me this, please bring him back.  He doesn’t listen.  I’m alone.  We burn the angel, and I try to learn to live with regret and grief and crippling pain all at once.  I hate the kid, this is his fault.  I kill myself again to save some souls, but also because I want to die this time.  I can’t take it anymore.  Death tells me I have work to do, but how much more work can there be?  How much more can I take?  It’s like the Universe reads my mind, because my angel comes back, and it’s like the last few weeks haven’t happened.  I still can’t say the words, but maybe this time I’ll get there.  Maybe this time.  We go to the other world, we save some people, I find my mom.  I let another Michael from the other world possess me to defeat Lucifer, but then I can’t expel him.  Before he shuts me in my memories, I am desperately afraid.

My brother and the angel find me in my own head, the snap me out of it.  I should have known this bar was too good for me, I knew I didn’t deserve it.  I shut Michael in there, but I know I won’t last long. I think I’m too weak to hold him, so I build a box designed to hold me forever.  I dream about it, claw the sides of the wall until my nails are bloody, but if it’s my eternity or Michael’s rule?  I’ll take the ocean every time.  The angel will always try to save me, I still can’t say the words.  The kid, my kid, he destroys Michael, but something is wrong, and I don;t realize until it’s too late.  My mother is dead, at the hands of the kid, and I have never been angrier.  I hate the kid again, I hate the angel too, I hate myself more.  I pull a gun on the kid, but I still can’t pull the trigger.  Sometimes I wish I could put it to my own head.  God comes back, turns out he was the villain all along.  Typical.  He kills our kid.  I can’t let myself feel.

The angel tries to convince me that we’re real.  How can I believe that?  Is everything I am just a story?  Have I ever chosen anything?  Does the angel really care about me?  Do I really care about him?  Another one of our friends dies.  I blame the angel, I push him away, because I can’t look at him if I think what I feel for him might not be real.  I meet up with someone I loved.  He’s a monster now, I have to kill him.  He dies holding me.  I wish I was dead sometimes too.  My brother is sick, he gets kidnapped by God.  I’m spinning in circles.  Me and the angel end up in Purgatory again.  He gets taken from me.  I’m so alone, so scared, I break down in the one place I could get lost in forever searching for the angel, I don’t want to leave him, please, don’t make me leave him.  I have to keep looking, get back to the real world to save my brother.  How will I choose?  Thank god, or, whatever, I find the angel.  I’ll tell him this time, but he stops me.  He must know.  He doesn’t want me, no one wants me.  Why would they?  Chuck has taken everything from me.  I have to kill him, no matter the cost.  The cost is gonna be our kid, raised from the dead by Death.  I guess the one thing we have going for us is we don’t stay dead for long.  I’m ready to let my kid die for my freedom.  My brother stands in the way, I pull a gun on him.  He talks me down, he’s the only one that can.  I decide to take it out on Death, my pain, my anger, my rage.  I take the angel and we find her, she chases us.  Another trap.  I realize that I’ve trapped us both.  Why am I so worthless?

The angel looks at me.  He smiles.  He tells me how worthy I am, that I’m good, that I changed him.  How can I tell him how he changed me.  He tells me he’ll die for loving me.  Then he shouldn’t, I’m not worth his life.  Don’t leave me, please, I can’t lose you, you don’t know what it does it me when you leave me.  He tells me he loves me.  I try to tell him a fraction of the things I feel for him, but it’s too late.  He’s taken before my eyes, and this time I know there’s no getting him back.

I’m left on the floor, unable to move.

This time I know, I’ll never let myself love again, because my heart is so shattered that it’s powdered, there’s no repairing it now.  I’ve always been broken, but this time I’m not just broken: I’m destroyed.

[val-made-a-mistake]

❝THAI FOOD.❞

(not my gif)

summary: you and john argue about something petty. he proceeds to fuck you into the floor.

warnings: smut, HATE SEX, oral sex m receiving, fingering, unprotected sex, arguments, pettiness, dirty talk, use of “good girl”, john cheating on his wife

word count: 2.8k

a/n: *john mulaney voice* okay okay okay okay okay okay

please do not read this fic and assume that i am a john walker apologist. if you’ve been following my blog, you’ll know that i DESPISE john walker and everything he stands for, but at the same time...this is dedicated to all the people who found his descent into madness hot, i wrote this fic instead of going to therapy

(and i should really go to therapy)

so uh if this flops i was never here

//////

The sunset was milky with colour as you swayed on the swing. Ever since you were little it had been rusty, always made nails-on-chalkboard creaks, and no one had ever bothered to fix it, but it was home, which was perhaps why you found yourself sitting there alone as you tried to control your breath.

He had you counting to ten again.

You knew John Walker was married, knew what he was like back in high school, and it had become international news when he’d decapitated an anarchist in broad daylight over in Europe, but still you found yourself responding to his text message when he slid into your DMs a week ago asking about vibranium alternatives, now here you were. You were a chemical metallurgist, you’d dedicated your whole life to the study, and as soon as you’d graduated from Custer’s Grove you’d booted yourself up to Cambridge to study at MIT, but you leapt at the chance to visit your Georgia hometown again.

And Jesus fucking Christ, Jonathan Walker was still as insufferable as he was when it was cool to date someone on the football team.

Why could he not understand that you were only human? Why could he not understand that you had, despite running tests on practically all the vibranium in the US that wasn’t the property of the Avengers, never been to Wakanda where it was sourced, and why the fuck was he absolutely prodding you over stupidly specific scenarios and circumstances that weren’t even going to happen? What absolute moron would try to take on the National Guard by himself?

The pull out couch that his wife Olivia was nice enough to assemble for you was always cold and hard at the end of the day, and as you stared up at the shuddering AC, you counted down the hours until you’d be able to go back to Cambridge and pretend like none of this had happened. None of this had to happen, you were just an idiot.

Now you inhaled the cool outside breeze, hating yourself.

You told John you were going on a walk twenty minutes ago. He’d gone apeshit when you said it would be impossible to replicate vibranium’s boomerang-like tendencies, he would be wondering where you’d gone by now. He’d had enough decency to tell you to bring a jacket as you retreated. 

You knew parts of him still cared about you, and God, you wanted to believe there was at least a shred of high school him there. Most of your high school relationship had been performative, but you loved attempting to escape the Evangelical parts of Custer’s Grove with him because it always ended up with you two sitting on the roof of a “closed for repairs” ice cream parlour miles out, staring at a sunset similar to the one in front of you now. The marina, he called it. It was a pathetic excuse for a marina.

Get your mind to work, you told yourself.

Boomerangs spun to create unbalanced aerodynamic forces, causing it to curve into a kind of elliptical shape, that was why they came back, this was basic, you’d learned it years ago. If John somehow succeeded in making a new Captain America shield for whatever reason and didn’t choose to sell it on Wish, would you be able to do anything to make sure it returned to its holder? Probably not, it’d be way too heavy, it was way too heavy now, it would just fall to the ground like a pathetic piece of spraypainted metal, which was technically all it was.

You picked at your nails as the last of the sunset disappeared into the treeline.

Time to go.

//////

When you got back to the house, you immediately noticed that Olivia’s shoes had disappeared from the doorway and John had actually taken a break from sulking in the basement, he was scrubbing dishes at the sink.

“I finished spraypainting,” he said casually as you closed the door behind yourself and shook off your sandals.

“Where’s Olivia?” you demanded flatly, ignoring his last sentence on purpose.

You saw him stiffen.

“Out,” he answered, his voice suddenly becoming as flat as yours, “She wanted Thai, I let her go.”

“I hate Thai.”

CRACK!

He’d quite literally pulled apart a plate with his hands: you hadn’t realized how much he was twitching since you’d gotten in.

“That’s what we’re having,” he hissed.

Oh, so you were fighting over this now?

You felt familiar rage bubble up in your chest. “You could’ve at least fucking texted me.”

“I did, but then I realized you left your fucking phone here,” he spat, dropping the shards of the plate and letting it float underneath the soapy water, “You do realize you could’ve been kidnapped, right? Have you forgotten what it’s like to live in the Grove?”

“I’m not your fucking dog on a leash,” you snarled with everything you had. “Jesus Christ, you have Olivia for that.”

SLAM!

John slammed his hands on the base of the counter, and with an ugly snap, the granite cracked. 

“We’re getting Thai food,” he hissed, but his voice shook, ruining the authority. “I don’t wanna do this right now.”

“For someone who failed drama class back in high school, you’re acting awfully dramatic right now,” you shot back coolly, folding your arms. Sure, he’d been insufferable in high school, but if he pushed you-- which he was doing right now-- you could turn into a bitch on a dime.

And yet you couldn’t help but feel your heart race as he turned around and approached you.

You instinctively backed into the wall.

When you opened your mouth, no words came out. He was suddenly so close you could see every pore on his cheeks.

You turned away on impulse, but you couldn’t help but notice the strange stuffiness that was filling the kitchen like a poisonous gas. Maybe that was why your heart rate was going as fast as it was, and maybe that was why the warmness was threatening to shoot up your neck at the faintest enabling.

You were shivering as he leaned forward to whisper in your ear.

“You’re gonna stop acting like a frigid bitch over Thai food, and then you’re gonna stop pretending like you don’t know how to improve the shield. Then you’ll be able to fuck off back to wherever you moved to after high school, and we’ll pretend like none of this ever happened.”

John paused.

“Do you understand me?”

You were overcome by a wild urge to spit in his face, but you held it back.

(Just barely.)

Instead, you turned to face him and licked your lips.

“You will never be Captain America.”

That did it: the sudden humidity around both of you came to a head, and John forced his lips onto yours so fiercely your natural response was to kiss him back, even though it was completely insane. You felt hands on your body-- you gasped on his lips, his hands were frozen and still slightly soapy from the dishes-- and you let him tear your clothes off as mercilessly as he could. It was like you’d thrown your moral compass out of the window: you were already yanking at his shirt and stumbling forward.

WIth a clatter, you’d tumbled to the kitchen floor, and you were pushing yourself onto him, all tongue and teeth.

“God, you drive me crazy sometimes,” John growled as he yanked your jeans down your ass; you were struggling to undo the buttons of his shirt.

“I fucking should,” you countered, and just like that, you kissed him harder, your teeth tearing into his lips and your tongue careening into his mouth. A horrible yet glorious feeling was searing through your chest: you wanted to treat him like a city you could burn to the ground, a reality you could shred to its last atom, and you drank it all up.

And then you had the air knocked out of you.

Your head hit the tile so hard your vision spun, and all you knew was that John was on top of you, glaring at you so malevolently all your nerves clenched.

“Baby, you’re gonna be fucking crying when I’m finished with you.”

You wrapped your legs around him at that, and then you were kissing, more languidly and sinful than anything you’d ever experienced, and you tangled your hands in his hair, absolutely collapsing into his harsh warmth. He was rocking against you fully clothed.

You skipped heaven and went straight to hell.

You pawed at his zipper, pulling it down just enough to get his cock out, and seeing what you were getting at, he pushed you against the wall and shoved himself into your mouth.

John wasn’t taking it easy on you. He gripped the back of your hair and fucked into your mouth, pushing as far as he could into your throat. You gagged and sputtered around him for all it was worth, gasping for air as he pulled you off for a moment.

He brushed a strand of your hair out of the way, and for a minute you thought he was going to stop this madness, but he only shoved himself back in so fiercely you couldn’t help but moan around his length.

He groaned at that, and you felt something warm gush between your legs. The feeling was enough to make you part your legs just the tiniest bit-- your knees were screaming in pain from being pressed so harshly into the tile-- but you kept going, flattening your tongue around the underside of his cock. You might’ve hated him right now, but you were determined to suck him off the best you could. By the look on his face, you were succeeding.

“Good girl,” John muttered, finally pulling himself off you.

“I really fucking hate you,” you spat, but his cock was so hot and hard and dripping, it would be so easy to take him once more like this--

But he had the super serum and you’d never been athletic, so there was little you could do when he gripped your arm and forced you to move.

John laid you down on the floor, flipping you over on all fours and pushing your face down into the tile, ass up for him. You gasped at his strength, and a moan left your lips as he spanked you harshly. 

“Jesus,” he commented as he pressed a finger inside of you, no warning. “Just wanna be split open, all stretched out on my cock?”

“Fuck you,” you gasped, trying to swallow your moans. That earned you another finger. 

His fingers delved in and out of you at a surprisingly fast pace, making you gasp and jut against the stimulation, and you sank your teeth into your forearm so you wouldn’t scream out. No way would you give him the satisfaction, but from the groans spilling out of John’s mouth, it looked like he wouldn’t have cared.

You knew you were dripping onto his fingers. You fucking knew it.

“God, fuck,” you gasped as he rubbed your clit: you hated being this easy, but here you were, becoming completely undone because of his two fingers. The feeling twisted in your gut, it was getting bigger and bigger, preparing for an inevitable release.

Blood was rushing into your cheeks at the sheer thought of it.

John Walker? Seriously?

You could’ve see it coming from a mile away, but somehow the feeling still blindsided you: you were coming, the orgasm rushing through you and soaking your inner thighs, making them gleam. Gasping, your body hot as lava, euphoria coursed through your brain, and for a moment, tiny white spots appeared in your vision.

No fucking way. John fucking Walker, of all people, had made you come.

Did he ever fuck Olivia like this?

You really fucking hoped not, not when he reached forward and pressed a kiss to the inside of your thigh, finger-fucking you through your orgasm.

John groaned senselessly as he crooked a finger inside of you, pushing even further, and you moaned loudly. 

“You’re dripping,” he whispered. The disastrously low tone of his voice made you clench around his fingers, and feeling it, he let out a smug little laugh that had you squirming underneath him. “That do something for you, sweetheart?”

Under him, you were gasping without rhythm, sanity slipping in and out of your grasp as your legs shook, threatening to make you come again and again until it would be impossible to handle it. The blood thundering in your ears made it hard to think: you could barely handle being fucked by a man affected by the super serum as it was, and John showed no signs of stopping.

When you didn’t answer, he slapped your cheek - not enough force to be called harsh, but enough for you to startle, blinking fast. “Answer me when I talk to you.”

“Yeah,” you said blindly, clenching your fists at the humiliation. “Yeah - yes, it did.”

Fuck, you hated John for being so smug. “Yeah, I already know.”

The next thing you were conscious of feeling was him slipping his fingers out of your pussy, his fingers coated in your glistening arousal, and you automatically opened your mouth to suck them clean. 

“Filthy little slut,” John spat from above you, and you couldn’t help it, you batted your eyelashes up at him-- seductively? Mischievously? 

Whatever it was, you whined louder than ever as you felt the head of his cock breach your pussy, splitting you open.

“Fuck, so tight,” you whimpered, or maybe you’d said it in your head, you didn’t really know because he’d already started moving, driving his cock deeper and sending a curious burning sensation up your pussy, which raced up your abdomen and practically exploded at your neck. You were sure your face was bright red now.

“More,” you gasped at the ceiling, and then it was on.

In the days to come you wouldn’t remember the way how harshly his hips slammed against yours, or the way he fucked into you like you were a medium to release all his rage, and he certainly wouldn’t feel the scratches you carved into his neck. Neither of you were thinking about Olivia: all you knew was he was fucking you on the kitchen floor and you never wanted him to stop.

God, that serum had really brought out an interesting change in him.

You came for what felt like the fiftieth time screaming his name, and it was then John decided to force your hands high over your head while gripping the nape of your neck, wrapping you in a kiss that effectively muffled your cries. You melted at his touch– he was so big and strong and physically superior, he could press you into the floor and stop all chances of you struggling with just one hand. Not like you’d ever want to struggle with the way he was fucking you: the way he was handling you was the complete opposite of gentle, and you loved it. John was heaving against you, unrelenting, and if this was a fight, you didn’t want to yield.

You were aching all over, your knees were stinging and your shoulderblades were rubbing uncomfortably against the kitchen tile, but you didn’t care, you succumbed to the dominance and kissed him back.

John groaned right in your ear, and his hand fell from your neck to grip your ass tightly, rocking his body into yours effortlessly.

“Oh, god,” you whispered, the way he stretched you out making you so dripping wet.

BANG!

You heard the familiar sound of a car door slamming in the distance, and it snapped you both back to reality at the same time.

“Shit!”

John reacted faster than you did: he pulled himself off of you, clearly wanting to save nobody but his own ass, and you heard a zipping noise as you fumbled for your bra, which was half-crumpled from underneath your shirt. The last thing you saw was him disappearing for the basement before you flung yourself at the stairs.

As Olivia approached the front door, you were now panicking for yourself.

“Shit, shit, shit-”

You slid and nearly fell onto the tile, but that didn’t matter, you needed to get out of view before Olivia reached the front door.

The stupid bastard had actually ripped a good length of seam on your jeans, so you haphazardly threw a blanket over most of your body and reached for your phone, hoping to God it looked like you were doing something normal.

You saw Olivia jut the door open with her hip.

“I’m home, I brought Thai!” she called out.

You forced your face into a shiny smile as you glanced up. “Great!”

[pure-kirarin]

Slow & Steady [P2] [Sabo x f!reader] (+18)

Genre : Romance - Smut - Bestfriends to lovers General warnings : Alcohol consumption - Dark themes - Swearing - S m u t - possessiveness - Mention of ex-relationships - jealousy

A/N : This is really different from my usual writing style but I am experimenting. Please tell me your thoughts and don’t hesitate to ask to be added to the tag list :) AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/31877203?view_full_work=true

In the last chapter --  «-Enough playing now, you're going to sleep. -B-but ! This wasn't what I asked for....You're really a coward after all...You virgin... » He carried you to his room, putting you on the bed and sitting next to you. «-I'd love to prove you wrong. However, it would be better if you were in a state where you'd be able to recall how good I am. If you want me to fuck you this badly then maybe ask me when you're sober.

Part I - Part II

Part II  -Yeah yeah...Pff..You're no fun Sabo. Things were finally getting interesting ! »

He smiled seeing that you were now calmer. You started to yawn and bury your face in his pillow. He loved to see you getting so comfortable in his room. He really needed a cold shower after your little show.  -Goodnight (Y/N). I'll sleep on the couch. You can get comfortable. -Are you crazyy ? You gonna leave me alone like this ? Let's sleep together~ -Come on (Y/N), you're a big girl. You could sleep alone for one night, would you ? Translation : I don't want to spend the whole night with a semi. And you're dangerously flirty, and I have wanted you for years and now I have to abstain.

-Pleaaaase. You said looking at him with puppy eyes. He rolled his eyes placing a hand in his hair. God.damn.it.

You won again. Like every time. * * *  You opened your eyes hardly next day, feeling something hard against your thigh. You looked at the ceiling

Oh...I am not in my room...Where the fuck am I ?

you turn around only to discover the embodiment of Adonis to your side. A light beam was lighting up Sabo's face. He looked like an angel as his beauty couldn't be that of a human.

Was he always this handsome ?

You didn't know, in fact, you have never had the occasion to wake up in his bed. Wait, in his bed ? This realization came slowly as your head was still foggy from yesterday's consumption.

You looked down, the thing that was pressing against your leg was indeed :

his thing.

You frowned, blushed, pulled away, put a hand on your lips repressing an internal scream, all of this in around three seconds. You then tried to calm down, telling yourself that it was very normal for a man to experience this kind of morning unconviniences, and that Sabo was a man, after all. Even if  you have always seen him as a bestfriend, he was still a man that is capable of physical attraction.

Now that this internal monologue was done with, you felt a bit calmer, but that didn't answer your question. You got out of bed, trying to recall what happened after going in the bar. And it came back. All of it. Without any mercy for your feelings.

You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Your only wish was to disappear which meant : calling Nami. You headed out of the house, not even having the courage to face your bestfriend.

« Namiiiii -Uh ? What's the matter ? -I fucked up. I fucked up really bad. -Oh yeah ? Tell me about it. -Wait, why do you seem excited ? -O-oh I'm not excited. Come on tell me. What else could you have possibly done ? -I asked Sabo to fuck me. -Wait what ? You could hear Vivi ask Nami about what happened and her answering « She asked Sabo to fuck her ». -Nami ! Don't go on telling everyone about this. I'm on my way. -For starters, Vivi isn't « everyone », she's my girlfriend. And I'm here waiting for you to tell me what happened. -Wait, I'll come at your place. This can't be discussed over the phone. »

You hung up on her. Ten minutes later, you were at her place. Extremely confused. Nami was painting her nails bright red on the bed while Vivi was sitting comfortably on a chair. You let your whole body weight fall on a lounge pug, tourmented.  «-So tell me how you and Sabo ended up fucking. She emphasized the last word in a way that made you almost choke on air.  -We didn't actually. Nami and Vivi both sighed in a synchronized « Ah » of disappointment. -So hmm...I don't remember clearly. I was really drunk-- well that you're aware of and...And Sabo didn't want to leave me alone so we went to his place. Ace was at Thatch's so we were alone. We hugged and he comforted me. Then I started teasing him, and I don't know what I was thinking, but I kissed him, and then I asked him to fuck me. -Wow that escalated quickly. Said Nami as she continued painting her nails.

-Well, I was heartbroken, I needed something, someone, and he was there, and you know Sabo, he's a good guy ! I don't know what's worse, the fact that I asked him to fuck me or the fact that he said no.

-Oh god I'm so so sorry

- Nami please don't make things worse for me.

-No offense, but you're so dense. Sabo has always been into you. Do you want him, or do you not ? I know that going right into a relationship after a breakup is a bad idea. But honestly it's worth giving it a shot. He's a really good guy. Try dating someone nice for once.

-I don't know, he has something unsettling about him. Like « almost too good to be true » you know ? Added Vivi.

-Ohhh~ I see. Honestly, I always thought that he was a bit prude and hella vanilla. I mean, yes, he's my best friend. But he has never talked about girls to me or about sexual stuff. So I just assumed that. I never thought that he'd be packin' like that. You said as you popped a lollipop in your mouth.

-Ah ? Was it really that impressive ? asked Nami, genuinely curious.

-Yeah. On a scale from 0 to doflamingo he's a solid eight point seventy five. (*)

-Oh gosh. I understand why you're so worked up now.

-That's really...precise. Added Vivi, a bit horrified.

(*) [ The dear reader might need this clarification ; Doflamingo was Law's uncle, he sometimes came to pick him up after uni with his luxurious lamborghini. He wore extremely tight pants that left little to the imagination. And he was most known among your clique for having a nine incher. It was a running joke wether to know if Law got his uncle's genes. Needless to say that this joke wasn't to Law's taste. Now back to our adorable Y/N. ]

-So. I really don't know what to do. I am still heartbroken. -And horny. Added the ginger. -Yeah, that too. I'm afraid of ruining our friendship. -Listen dear, said Nami as she was closing the nail polish bottle, if you're not going for it, someone else would. And trust me, that girl Koala is upping her game. She's going to steal him right in front of your eyes, just like this - and she snapped her fingers. -Oh, and then, you can forget about being « best friends ». Said Vivi adding fuel to the fire. -Yeah, once he's gonna start dating, he won't have too much time for you-- and then, that Koala girl, my god, she seems extremely possessive ! -No way, your voice was detached, trying to act is if you weren't worried, Sabo has never dated any girl before.- -Yes but he seems to get along with that girl. And to be honest, she's kinda cute.

-Nami ! Vivi pinched her forearm playfully, pretending to be jealous.

-That hurt ! And don't be jealous, you know that you're my only one~

-Hmm...I prefer that. Vivi laughed. You started caughing reclaiming for their attention.

-Attention please ! We're discussing my dick-appointment here.

-Jesus you're really annoying, (Y/N), just go for it already.

-How much did he pay you to tell me this huh ?

-What ? He didn't pay me ! You're just always getting your heart broken. I'm just trying to be a good friend.

-Say that you are trying to get rid of her~ Jokes Vivi.

-Vivi, don't expose me like this- Nami plays along while laughing.

-I hate you girls ! You say as you throw a pillow on Nami. The ginger starts complaining that you messed her Nail polish, and the whole scene metamorphosed into a pillow fight.

* * *

You spent the whole day with the girls, chit-chatting about boys and girls and playing stupid games. You felt way more comfortable now, less ashamed. However, you were surprised because you didn't get a message from your bestfriend. You wondered wether he was mad at you, it wasn't in his habits.

You decided to message Ace [click for conversation] [ (Y/N) : Heyy amigo is Sabo ok ? Did he tell u smth abt yesterday ? Ace : Ouch, your hurting my feelings, </3 Only talking to me to ask about my brother~ Yea hes okay why tho ? (Y/N) : Ooo kay. He's home ? Ace : He is. Why don't u directly text him ? (Y/N) : Don't tell him I asked. Btw I didn't forget about those 10 bucks you « borrowed » from me. Give it back.] He didn't answer. You sighed and decided to go see Sabo to settle things down. It was the first time that you were embarrassed to see your best friend. You dressed up in a black skirt and t shirt. You didn't usually pay attention to your looks when you went to hang out at Sabo's, but you were really stressed out and what the girls have said about Koala made you scared of losing him. After all, you had some abandonment issues. You had to settle this down once and forever. You arrived at the guy's place, it was an apartment not so far from your own student flat. You knocked on the door and Ace opened : -Ohhh, (Y/N), he whistles, lookin' like a girl today huh ? -What are you implying you dumbass ? Where's Sabo ? -He's in his room with Koala.- -Wait what ? Koala ? What is she doing here ? Ace raised an eyebrow then said amused ; -I don't know, go ask him yourself. -You're useless as usual. -Always so sweet. You on your period or something ? -I didn't forget about my twenty bucks by the way. -I said I'm goin' to pay you back alright ? Now go talk to Sabo. You and Ace were always teasing each other in a brotherly way, but in reality, he really cared for you, it was just your usual way of communication. But it was true that knowing that Koala was in Sabo's room put you in a bad mood. You knocked on the door with a knot in your stomach. Did they start dating ? Was Sabo interested in her ? These ideas were torturing you. But why did you care anyways ? It was none of your business. He could date whoever he wants. You opened the door but there was only Sabo relaxing on his bed, still fully clothed. « - Sabo ?-Oh, (Y/N), what brings you here ? -Why ? Do I need a reason to see my best friend ? He sits on bed looking at you. He doesn't fail to notice your cute outfit, it was different from your usual sweatpants and hoodies, the way it complemented your figure was almost too much for him. Just that sight was driving him insane, but his face didn't betray his emotions, like always, he acted friendly, not an ounce of lust in his dark ebony eyes. You took place next to him. He smelled good, you thought. The same fresh minty smell as last time. Did he always smell this good ? -(Y/N) ?Huh ? Is everything okay ? His voice seemed concerned.He cared for you. And you had those stupid immature and posessive thoughts. Get a grip of yourself, (Y/N), you thought. -Oh yea-- wasn't Koala here ? Ace told me you were with her.

You tried so hard to act like you didn't care, but he knew you like the back of his hand. But still, he played along. -Hmm..Yes. She just left. I was going out as well. He says with a sweet smile, looking at his watch. You couldn't help but make a disappointed face. -But Sabo I wanted to - I'm really sorry (Y/N), let's talk later. He ruffles your hair and you close your eyes as he does so. You felt stressed out. What happened exactly ? You felt intimidated in his presence for the first time. You wanted him to stay and talk this out. It was a bit awkward for you now. You never thought too much. As he was going out of the room you held the fabric of his coat tight in your hand ; -Sabo- -Hum ? Need me to drop you somewhere ? -N-no. You let his sleeve go, realizing what you have just done, I'll stay a bit then go back home. Don't worry about me. -Alright then. See you later ? -Yeah. See ya. ]

You looked at Sabo go away and you followed him shortly after. Meanwhile Ace was sitting on the couch and watching some movies. You went back home and was quite tormented. It wasn't the right time to worry as you had your assignments and studies to deal with. On one hand, you didn't even have the time to think of your ex boyfriend and his cheating but on the other, you felt like you were let down by Sabo. But why ? He didn't do anything. He just found himself a new friend and a potential new girlfriend.

He didn't even talk about her, but why where you so upset by him meeting her ? After all, he had the right to date just like you always did.

A few days have passed and you didn't get the chance to talk to Sabo. Your exams were getting closer and closer and you didn't feel ready.

Usually, Sabo would help you with your assignments but you were too scared to ask. You realized how much you relied on him and how he has been always there for you.

Who were you exactly to him ?

Maybe you took him for granted.

As you were on your bed looking at the ceiling and trying to collect every drop of motivation in your system to study, you heard your phone ring. It was Sabo's ringtone ! ----- Tag list : @vemuabhi @chloe-abbacchio @mwls-garden @soanywaysistartedsimping If you wanna get tagged just ask for it :)

[k3lynn]

mine — katsuki bakugou

yandere! katsuki bakugou x reader

cw: yandere au, 3rd year bakugou, violence, reader got female genitalia, anger, off-“screen” murder, mention of (minor) character death, blood, lucidness, possessiveness, degradation, manipulation, stalking, threats, masturbation, implication of sex, swearing, assault, narcissism, horror, slightly delusional katsuki, panic attack, non con, mention of suicide

- I do not condone any of the behavior here, nor do I try to romanticize it. (definition: make it seem like a good thing) any future/current dark fics are purely for entertainment purposes. Also, I don’t think bakugou would EVER do this- I’m just using some dark traits he used to have and twisting them to fit this situation. Not completely proof read and edited, I am exhausted right now I’m sorry. I say some mean things about some characters but I don’t mean it 💗

words: 1.8k

𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚃𝙾 𝙱𝙽𝙷𝙰 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃 // 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚃𝙾 𝚈𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

WHY WON’T YOU LOOK AT ME.

Poor little Y/N. You’ve caught the Big Bad Wolf’s attention. Ready to snatch you up and drag you into the deepest parts of the forest where no one will ever find you.

You’ll be all mine, and I’ll be the only thing you’ll ever have to see again.

You’ve been in the same class for 3 years now- and all he had to show for it is an occasional wave, and a shy little “Hi Bakugou” every morning that made his heart leap out of his chest.

Enough for most, but not for him.

In turn, he would tsk. Facing away and setting his head down on the desk- attempting to hide the roaring blush adorning his cheeks and the subtle shuffling in his pants- the way your voice alone could make his balls tighten in need.

Still- you give him merely a glance. He is always around you, but your attention is given to someone else.

Any extra would overlook his grumbling for typical-Katsuki doing his own thing. In reality, he’s holding himself back from snapping and taking you by force.

He wants you to come to him.

You have no reason not to. He’s perfect. Probably the best student to ever enter U.A. High, and on path to become the best pro hero to ever graduate from it.

Coming first in both the Entrance Exams AND the sports festival- a victory he still denies, holding some of the highest grades in class- 3rd only to some geek girl he could easily out-rank in combat and that shitty half n’ half. Even perceptiveness, intellect, and determination that can rival dumb Deku.

He even possesses great skills in cooking and music- Katsuki is a natural-born genius. Anybody who isn’t conscious towards his incredible talents might as well be living under a rock-

Unbeknownst to you, he’s giving you the generous chance to decide when you’ll be his. But his patience wears thinner every day.

It would have only taken a second to turn around in your seat and notice his piercing red eyes glaring at the back of your head.

So why don’t you notice me.

-

He doesn’t understand why it’s you he obsesses about. He can’t even remember when this whole mess started.

He tried denying his feelings. But quickly- they built up and festered inside him, begging to come out. Love, possessiveness, same thing.

Whether it be watching your twist and turn in the obstacle course- then running to the nearest bathroom to furiously grip his cock.

Snatching your chapstick when you’re not looking and rubbing it all around his own lips- imagining that’s what your lips would taste like if you just kissed him-

Restraining you during combat training by wrapping his arms around you- squeezing your breast a little more than necessary. Pinning you to the floor until you admit defeat.

Or even sneaking into your dorm while you’re in the shower to grab a new pair of panties from your dirty laundry, adding it to the stash he keeps hidden under his bed.

Stalking you. Keeping you close at all times without you even knowing it.

Indeed, he knows he’s a sick and twisted human being.

But by now he hardly cares- he’s worked too hard to ever even imagine of changing his perfect target. Nobody is more deserving of you than him.

So if he has to confront, threaten, and beat every single person in this stupid school to monopolize you for himself- he gladly will. Anyone who goes againts that is challenging him.

He scoffs anytime a boy approaches you- it’s well known around school that anyone who attempts to buddy up with you mysteriously ends up in a hospital room with no recollection of what happened. People even started seeing you as a sign of bad luck.

He’s nice enough to allow you some friends though. But only ones who will guarantee you’ll be around him as much as possible.

So you sit with him, Kirishima, racoon eyes, dunce face, and tape boy in lunch. No one else. Right in front of him.

You’re chatting away with Mina, but unusually, something special came up in conversation.

He always stays focused on his lunch- switching between listening in and day dreaming about bending you over the lunch table and grinding on your ass-

Katsuki’s stomach dropped. His eyes widened- what did Mina just say?

There’s a boy in the management department, a quirkless 2nd year nobody smart enough to somehow get into U.A.

And he asked you out on a date after school.

Shit.

No.

No no no no-

No- this isn’t how it’s supposed to-

My throat burns.

When did he- when did you-

You’re going to say no, right?

I cant breathe.

You don’t like anyone- I know this

I know everything about you- I-

My chest hurts-

You’re mine.

And if he thinks I’ll share then I’ll-

“Mina stop being so loud please...” your delicate little voice whispered.

The rest of the table already took notice of what was going on- bombarding you with questions that made you flustered.

“Woah woah- Y/n, what’s your answer?” dunce face peeps out, Bakugou swore he could smack that grin off his face right then and there.

Katsuki turns to look at you again- a chill traveling down his spine once he made eye contact, but your stare quickly fell to the floor.

“I’m not sure yet- probably not.. ha.” You shrugged- a light pink dusting over your cheeks. The others, satisfied, dismiss the topic.

Had it have been anybody else observing, they wouldn’t have thought much of it. But Katsuki knows you like the back of his hand. Successfully deceiving him would be harder than taking down All For One.

You’re lying... aren’t you? In front of him too- All because of this quirkless fucking loser-

Katsuki hates lies.

.

.

.

I’m going to kill him.

-

The walk back to your dorm was disappointing to say the least. But you can’t expect someone to be in the best of moods when they’ve been stood up.

You almost couldn’t believe it either- he had seemed so kind and genuine that you stood there for an extra 2 hours. But that’s your luck with boys-

‘I hope you got a good laugh out of it, jerk.’ You huffed before inserting the key into your rooms lock.

Turning on the lights, you allow your eyes to adjust for a moment before stepping inside and walking to your desk.

“You were waiting for that jackass for so long I almost started thinking you would never come back...”

You let out a startled cry before dropping your keys and whirling around in a flash- recognizing Katsuki’s back as he slowly closes the door.

“Bakugou? Why are you-“

“was he really that special.”

“What do you mean was....“ It’s then you noticed the blood dripping down his arms and hands- your door decorated with the same shade of crimson.

“oh my god.. Bakugou,”

That’s why the poor boy never showed up.

You knew about Katsuki’s “little” crush on you for a while now. His stares weren’t exactly the most subtle after all-

You found his uncertainty adorable, heck, a part of you was waiting for him to confess. But you would have never imagined his infatuation went this far.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. He’ll never love you as much as I do.”

He lifts his head, and your eyes meet his. Bloodshot- as if he’d been crying, but the evident smirk on his face showed nothing but pure malice.

“Not that he’ll ever get the chance to anyways”

He’s too fast, too close to the door, he has all the advantage in this situation. But you have to try. You have to leave this room at this very moment or you may never make it out alive. There’s no reasoning with him.

You clutch your heart. He steps forward, and you instinctively bolt to the door.

A few easy moves and he has you pinned by the neck on the ground, legs bent and used to hold your arms from jerking too much. His free hand is outstretched, creating small explosions that made you automatically stiffen your movement.

“Bakugou please- I won’t ever tell anyone, we can forget about this and I’ll pretend it neve-“

“I don’t need you to be quiet. I’m the boy who rejected a direct offer from the League of Villains, one of the best students in U.A. high- even if you do rat me out, they’ll never believe you...”

His grip on your neck tightened- nails cutting through skin and little droplets of blood start showing up. His hand starts heating up and a panic courses through your veins.

“I’ll kill you before they even begin to suspect me.”

Choked sobs escape your lips from the pain and fear surging through your body- “I- I thought you said you lo-loved me.”

“I do... that’s why you’ll be mine forever.”

He leaned down, low enough for you to feel his warm breath- then used his tongue to sadistically lick off the tears running down your cheek, a salty but satisfying flavor entering his mouth.

“In this life, and the next. It’s up to you when we see the later.”

You nod, hoping he relaxes the pressure on your neck. His face softens, something you swore you would never see in Bakugou. He releases his hold.

“You made me mess up your neck, next time don’t be so mean.”

He tilted your chin up, observing the scratches and bruises littered all around it. As soon as he determines there’s no serious injury, he picks you up to lay you on your bed. Climbing in next to you and wrapping an arm around your hips.

“Couples cuddle like this all the time don’t they.”

You gave him silence, although he didn’t mind. With one glare he had you shuffling to move closer to his chest.

“they also kiss.”

You know that right now, there’s no point in fighting. So you give in to what he wants in hopes that one day, you’ll break free from the hold he secretly had on you for so long. You’ll play along. You’ll survive.

You shudder as his hands reach to cradle your cheek, wiping the blood of the boy all over it. He loved it. It proved he won. He gave a light kiss to your lips before attacking your neck, set on putting a new type of bruise on you.

“You should start calling me Katsuki.”

“Ka- Katsuki.” You barely managed to whimper out.

He caresses your hair, cooing soft whispers into your ear in an attempt to calm your sniffling. An action you would have seen as sweet if it weren’t for the constant threat of death over your shoulder.

Your breath hitches in horror as you feel his warm hands trail down your body, gripping your smooth inner thigh before delicately starting to drag his fingers up.

“You know...

You silently beg for him to stop.

“There’s one more thing couples do.”

-if anyone is interested- should I make a part 2? (Future edit, I’m not satisfied with this, I might end up rewriting in the future)

© 2021 k3lynn, do not modify or repost without permission