#🌼 out of cēsis

[dziedietmeitas]

vent

thinking about da time i made milda when hetalia cared about "well written characters". i put a lot of effort into writing milda and i still got ignored 🤩 yes it still hurts to this day 🤩

edit: this was on fb, not on tumblr btw.

[dziedietmeitas]

i'm late but happy new year everyone!! hope you had a wonderful 2023, if not, hopefully 2024 will be good to you!

might be a slight good news, but i felt much better since sep 2023 so it was a year of healing for me :) i'm moving onward and embracing uncertainy, and much happier than i was in 2022.

[dziedietmeitas]

oh wow uhm-

[dziedietmeitas]

hi everyoneee how are you?

had a dream that i should spend more time here and tbh, i may come back! april has been a rly fast month (i swear it was just holy week the other day?). also uhm bad news.... i forgot the pw to mutya’s account : D

[dziedietmeitas]

hi popping up from the dead to say uhm

i have rly bad news

i am still in a middle of a job hunt and kinda broke. and im going deep broke bc ... my comp got into an error. i have to get it checked bc no choice. i did save up some money in case of computer issues, but my money isnt enough... i also have to pay delivery fees lmao lmao

if anyone wants to donate heres my ko-fi

ko-fi.com/fairypaeonia

srry for this, i'm in a really dire situation rn :((

[dziedietmeitas]

so i sent a mssg to this cute guy. might be a long shot but. hey

[dziedietmeitas]

hey guys, happy new year!

this is a late new year post (it's the first week so?? pass?) but december has been the happiest i've ever been in 2022, and where i felt at peace.

i also wanna thank yall who have sent me positive anons/messages whenever i feel down 🥺 i may not have been here much, but i feel rly loved and safe whenever i come back here.

so here are some important stuff ive learned in 2022.

never get attached easily, especially if it is someone you like - hate 2 disappoint yall but italian guy kinda led me on <//3 tho it's kinda my fault that i thought "oh we match personality-wise = instant like!". so now i have to tread new friendships (and romance if ever) carefully. even if the person seems promising, it's no guarantee they're good for you. make sure the person youre meeting is worthy of your trust and most of all, love. they should always respect your boundaries.

sometimes, closure doesn't give you peace - had a falling out with an old friend group. i was hoping that the talk between me and ex-friend would lead to reconciliation, but they were lowkey vindictive and vague. it really sucked. i could sense the friendships were falling in the beginning, but i was too blind to notice it i guess... i learned that if people don't wanna communicate healthily with you? it means you dont matter much to them. you can communicate things out, but slowly letting go is another alternative too.

don't isolate yourself too much. - its okay to get some space. we all need that time to time. but its ok to let people know you are not okay, and yes, you can ask some support. "hey, i'd like to take some space for now, but i also wouldn't mind some positivity too..." etc etc.

lastly, having people help you does empower you. - an important lesson i'd like to put in my future story. i struggle with asking for help/support, but i've met some kind souls who are willing to lend me a hand. it inspires me to do better. sometimes you get stuck and don't know what to do... and humans aren't meant to be isolated. we're a community oriented bunch. it's ok to ask for help!

im bad at ending posts but!! hopefully these 2022 lessons will inspire you. hoping that the yr of the bunny aka 2023 will be good to all of us ! 🐇🌸💓

[dziedietmeitas]

ey so ive been playing love and deepspace and now i want a romance au thats inspired by it!! gimme "we were lovers in our past lives, but you dont remember" plots!!!

[dziedietmeitas]

hi it’s been awhile (personal stuff below)

would it be okay to send me positivity...? i’ve been in a rough spot lately. i had 3 “friends” betray me. one crap-talked me behind my back, one blocked me out of nowhere, and my old group of friends secretly resented me all this time and refused to talk things out healthily.

i just feel so lost and unloved lately. ik i haven’t been on here and some may have forgotten me, and that’s ok. i just wanna vent things out of the void.

thanks. 

[dziedietmeitas]

hi if anyone wants to commission me, here are my comm sheets!

some comms i’ve done :} 

TOS: ↬https://fairypaeoniacomms.carrd.co

[dziedietmeitas]

officially 24 years old today! oh my 10th year with milda as well!

[dziedietmeitas]

hey hey hey! its been a while

so, here's a mini psa since i've been on and off here

tbh, writing--or specifically RPing, hasn't been on my mind lately. i have been job-hunting and making cash from my own art commissions. i'm at the point where i'm doing a huge change in my life. i aim to earn more money, learn web-codes, keep freelancing, and hopefully come back to uni.

when i brought back this acct two years ago, i did say i might eventually become a busy bee. well, i have to say, a lot of things have changed in two years for me... i genuinely am getting character arcs in short amount of time at this point lmao. so yeah, theres a lot of things i wanna do in my life, and i genuinely don't have time for roleplay.

no no, this isn't me saying i'll give up on my muses. i still love milda alot. shes my bestie. it's just that... my life circumstances are extremely demanding rn. i have to say, i am not at the best spot at life. well, certainly not the worst--sure, good things have happened, but i am still far from where i wanna be. very far.

i am still up for plotting and shipping, you just have to be very patient with me. you can still hmu about potential ships/friendships or whatsoever! we can still do our rps, it'll just be slow.

honestly i dont regret bringing milda back in 2020. she brought me back to my roots (having interests in europe and most of all latvia). like srsly i have thoughtts about moving to europe lately 😤

we can still talk in discord. you can pm if you dont have my @! it can be about muse stuff or whatever, but you can also come and drop hi 🌸 just a lil warning cause i also forget to send back mssgs.

[dziedietmeitas]

okay so i have a question for yalls nation muses: how will they react if one of their own thinks of them as their actual parent figure? and that person doesn't have a good father/mother figure in their life?

[dziedietmeitas]

been speaking to this attractive italian guy. wish me luck.

[dziedietmeitas]

hi again

i will try to come back here and im sorry for the asks i havent replied. im really, really, sorry. ever since 2021, my family has been in a very rough spot now. i have some health issues rn. specifically my wisdom teeth and some unusual findings my dentist found in my xray. i feel so scared and lonely. we dont have money to afford healthcare rn and it sucks. i want someone to comfort me. i also need financial assistance as well. but right now, i’m in a waiting game and it sucks. i didnt think my situation will get really bad. i just dont understand.

anyways this is a vent bc idk where to run off to. most of the spaces i vent in are a void.

[dziedietmeitas]

hey guys, one of the jobs i applied to reached out to me today....so they’ve set up an appointment for me tomorrow dkjfdjfkdf i am so nervous help

it’s a graphic artist job btw