#𝗢𝗢𝗖: // she's out there living her best life

[doctordonovan]

❀    ||     maeve’s biological mother   (   fc.  rachel weisz   )

 maeve’s biological mother,   a nineteen year old music student and once classical music prodigy,    esther delman would be described by anyone who met her as the sweetest girl.    naive and a little sheltered,   her entire childhood had been her parents   &&   community pushing her to follow her talent over anything else.   coming from an orthodox background,   perhaps it wasn’t much of a shock when she lost herself in the newness of it all.

 she’d never tell anyone who the father was,  ‘a boy at a party’ or some great romance of whom she kept the fond details to herself.  the closest esther came was in a letter home to her sister talking about how their father would never accept her throwing it all away for some older guy.    no.    it was better if the details were only known to her,    never filling in the father’s name on any paperwork,   nobody even sure if she’d told him.

 motherhood wasn’t something esther wanted.   but she tried.   she truly did,   returning home and for the first year trying desperately to feel as if the tiny green eyed being was her own   -   was part of her.

 by just before maeve  (  still known as merav  )   first birthday it was clearly never going to work.    esther’s parents quietly devastated but supportive when esther finally broke down.   she couldn’t give the baby what she needed whilst still living her own life,   and keeping her in the family would be too much for her to cope with.   giving maeve up was the hardest thing she had to do,   but it was the right decision for her.  

 leaving instructions that she was never to be contacted was a lot harder,   and at times,   something she almost regretted.  

(  she never wants to have more children and she doesn’t.  )

when maeve is sixteen,   a close friend   &&  talented hacker decides to get her esther’s name and information anyway.   maeve only goes to see one of esther’s performances once   -   she doesn’t make herself known,   she simply watches and then leaves once it’s over.   her only attempt to make herself known is a letter she asks to be passed onto her...    but it’s never answered and,    in truth,   maeve knows it was never even opened.