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zyhkoo · 3 months ago

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🎬 guilty as sin?

event, jason todd x afab reader. smut 18+, doll being used. event

( everybody knows he's bad news, but you cant help but yearn for him. )

🎥 NOW SHOWING: GUILTY AS SIN

"Stay away from him," was what the bat-family would always remind you each time you encountered Jason Todd. He wasn't the same Robin he once was, you knew that.

He had become a dangerous menace, a threat to the city, and a man beyond saving. The others feared him, the things he had done, but you saw a different side to the anti-hero, a vulnerability hidden behind his ruthless facade.

You couldn't help but reminisce about the days when Jason Todd was simply Robin, the boy wonder, fighting crime by your side. It seemed like only yesterday, but in reality, he had transformed into something completely different.

You found yourself contemplating how it all went so wrong, but at the same time, you knew exactly why.

Despite the difficulties, you found it hard to completely remove yourself from his presence. The strong bond you and Jason once shared made it challenging to completely sever ties. Thus, you found yourself unable to resist the pull, returning time and time again.

"Hey, focus!" Dick exclaimed, as he noticed you had drifted off into your own thoughts. "Are you even listening?"

You snapped out of your reverie, a bit disoriented. "Huh? What did you say?"

Dick crossed his arms, "Jeez, I've been talking to you for a minute, and you were completely zoned out. What's got you so distracted?"

You shrugged, feeling a bit embarrassed that you had spaced out completely. "Just... thinking, I guess," you replied, looking away.

Dick raised an eyebrow, studying you closely. "It's about Jason, isn't it?"

You were caught off guard by his question, “What? No.” you quickly replied.

Dick, sensing your defensiveness, gave you a skeptical look. "Come on, don't lie to me," he said, his tone gentle yet firm. "You're terrible at hiding it."

You sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to deceive him. "Okay, fine," you conceded. "I was thinking about Jason. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that Jason is dangerous," he reminded you, "He's not the same guy we knew. He's changed, and not for the better."

You mumbled under your breath, mimicking the words Dick had just spoken in a mocking tone.

Dick shot a disapproving look at you. "This isn't a game," he scolded, his expression turning serious. "You can't just dismiss the dangers that come with being in contact with Jason. He's unpredictable and violent. You have no idea what he's capable of."

You listened as Dick continued talking about another subject, but your mind was too preoccupied to fully focus on his words. You tried to remain engaged in the conversation, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Jason.

The sky painted itself with hues of orange as the sun began to dip below the horizon, bathing the city in a warm, comforting glow. Jason stood on the roof, his hands resting on the railings, immersed in deep contemplation.

The silence was broken by your soft footsteps as you approached him from behind. He looked back at you, hand ready to grab on his holster as you cut him off.

“Hey, it’s me.” you immediately said as you removed your domino mask.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice gruff but not unkind.

You shrugged, leaning against the railing next to him. "I saw you up here," you replied, gesturing to the panoramic view of Gotham City spread out before you. "Figured I'd come keep you company."

Jason glanced at you. "Why would you want to do that?" he asked, crossing his arms. "You know the others would have a fit if they saw us together."

You huffed a soft sigh, looking out at the city. "I know that," you acknowledged, your voice tinged with resignation. "But that doesn't stop me from wanting to check in on you once in a while."

Jason's expression remained stoic, his gaze fixed on the distance. "I can take care of myself, you know," he replied. "I don't need anyone checking in on me."

You watched as Jason walked away, his lone figure disappearing into the shadows as disappointment washed over you.

Your shoulders slumped as you found yourself alone on the rooftop. It seemed like no matter how many times you tried to reach out to him, he would always push you away.

You felt trapped, bored and restless, like a bird in a cage. You had once found contentment in this situation, but now it felt suffocating. Was it appropriate to feel frustrated? Were you allowed to cry?

Time passed, and you found yourself growing increasingly distracted. Missions mandated team-ups sometimes, but you were consistently prohibited from missions involving Jason. You couldn't help but feel frustrated by the constant monitoring and restrictions.

Despite your best efforts to focus on other aspects of your life, you couldn't shake the persistent thought of Jason. You found yourself wondering what it would be like if he were still by your side, if he still cared for you.

You sat alone on the roof again, your head buried in your hands. The failure of the previous mission weighed heavily on your mind, and you couldn't shake off the feeling of disappointment in yourself.

Your friends, the rest of Bat-family, observed your repeated mistakes. They pointed out that you were distracted, unable to focus on your missions due to your preoccupation with Jason. They were correct; your fixation on him led to failures and lapses in performance.

The weight of their words and the restrictions that came with it all felt overwhelmingly suffocating. You yearned for freedom, to act on your own accord, without the watchful eyes and constant scrutiny from the Bat-family.

You tensed up as you heard heavy footsteps approaching. Before you even turned around, you recognised the distinct gait and knew exactly who it was.

"Still moping, I see." Jason's tone was nonchalant yet slightly mocking, his presence felt like a sudden weight in the air.

You took a deep breath and slowly looked up at him, trying to keep your emotions in check. "I'm not moping," you retorted, your voice defensive. "I'm just thinking."

Your gaze shifted back to Jason as you noticed that he had removed his helmet, revealing his familiar face. The intensity of those sky blue eyes met yours, and involuntarily, you found yourself staring into them.

You sighed as you removed your own mask. “If your helmet is off, then I’m going to guess you wanted to talk.”

Jason leaned against the railing beside you, the night air rustling silently around you both. "You're not wrong," he admitted, his voice slightly gruff. "I came up here for a reason."

Curious, you turned to face him fully, the city lights casting a glow on his face. "And what would that reason be?" you asked.

Jason paused, his expression serious as he studied you for a moment. "I've been watching you," he said, his voice quiet but firm. "Your performance on missions lately has been... lacking."

You couldn't help but let out a frustrated groan as Jason brought up the subject. "Don't start," you protested, your voice filled with resignation. "I don't want to talk about this."

Jason's eyebrow raised slightly at your response. "Why not?" he questioned, his gaze boring into you. "It's pretty obvious something's weighing on you."

You fidgeted under his intense stare, knowing deep down that he was right. "It's complicated," you answered, looking away. You raised your brow “Shouldn’t you be glad that I’m failing them anyway?”

Jason huffed, the corner of his lip curling slightly. "Fair point," he conceded, "I should be, but I’m not. I don't want you to be failing missions. I don't want you putting yourself in danger because you're too distracted."

You were taken aback by his unexpected response. "Why do you care?" you asked, “You're not exactly known for worrying about anyone else's welfare, let alone a vigilante like me."

Jason's expression remained stoic, but his eyes betrayed a hint of vulnerability. "It's not that I care," he said gruffly, looking away. "And you're not just any vigilante. You're..." He trailed off.

You scoffed, “I’m what? Your best friend?” Jason's gaze snapped back towards you.

"What if you are?" he shot back, his tone defiant. "We have a history, whether you like it or not. You still mean something to me, and I don't like seeing you in danger because of some distraction."

You held his gaze as you shook your head, “But, do you not feel betrayed? After what happened to you? Surely, you’re angry at me as well.”

"I do feel betrayed," He admitted, his voice low and bitter. "I'm angry, hurt, and... disappointed. You know exactly what I went through, what they did to me. But in some strange way, I can't bring myself to hate you."

You looked into the city in front of you, getting lost by the hundreds of lights being lit up. “I’d understand why you became like this, but still caring about me is something I don’t understand.”

Jason leaned against the railing, mirroring your gaze and looking out at the cityscape below. "Honestly," he spoke, his voice laced with a mix of bitterness and resignation, "I don't understand it either. It's a messed-up thing, you know? Caring about someone who was partially responsible for your downfall."

You remained silent, the truth of his words hanging in the air like a bitter potion. It was a contradiction neither of you could explain, but it existed nonetheless. In a strange way, despite the anger and bitterness he felt, Jason still cared about you.

You shifted your gaze towards him, studying his profile in the soft glow of the city lights. "I never wanted any of this to happen," you said softly, a hint of remorse in your voice. "If I could go back and change things, I would… in a heartbeat."

Jason's words hovered in midair as your phone rudely cut in. You glanced at the screen, seeing Dick's name. You let out a frustrated sigh, knowing what that meant. "I need to go.” you told him.

Jason's shoulders slumped slightly, his expression unreadable. "Right," he said curtly, "Go, then. Can't have Nightwing coming after me for keeping you here too long."

As time continued to pass by, the yearning you shared with Jason remained unchanged. Although neither of you spoke about it, the unspoken connection between you was palpable.

The uncertainty and confusion of your dreams left you questioning yourself further. Were you going mad, or was there some profound wisdom hidden within these visions? Each night brought more unanswered questions, more tangled thoughts, and a growing sense of unease within you.

Your thoughts continued to be haunted by visions and memories of what was never. You yearned for the passionate embrace and messy kisses that remained just out of reach. The guilt of wanting more without ever truly having him weighed heavily on your heart. It felt like a sin, to long for something that could never be true.

On a rational level, you knew that mere thoughts and desires were not inherently bad. It was true that only actions had consequences. As long as you refrained from acting on your feelings and touched him, you were not doing anything wrong.

Your mind was consumed by the fiery desire that seared through you, the intensity building like towering waves, crashing over the boundaries of your control. The sheets of your bed felt ablaze as you yearned for the touch of his skin, the taste of his lips, and the overwhelming heat of his embrace.

One week had passed without encountering him, and you thought it was for the best. You found yourself sitting in your apartment, going about your business, when to your surprise, you noticed a familiar silhouette in the fire escape outside your window.

“….”

“…”

“Drat.” Jason mumbled.

You couldn’t believe your eyes as you saw Jason standing on the fire escape outside your window. “Jason?” you called his name softly,. “What are you… what are you doing here?”

“Was just in the neighborhood, y’know,” he said simply. “And I saw you through the window. Thought I’d drop by." Jason groaned and got straight to the point, “I wanted to see you,” he said bluntly.

A part of you was happy to see him, to hear him say that he missed you. But another part of you was wary, knowing that your presence together was a very risky endeavor.

“Jason…” you began, torn between your feelings and the consequences of indulging in this situation. “I don’t think this is a good idea. Dick- the others they could find out.” Jason rolled his eyes, “Since when do we care about what they think?” he retorted. “Besides, I’m more than capable of slipping in and out unnoticed.” You crossed your arms “What do you need anyway?”

Jason’s gaze flicked up and down your figure, “I just wanted to see you,” he said, his voice a little softer this time.

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, “Is it so wrong to want to check on my… friend?” he sighs, getting straight to the point. “I don’t need anything specific. Just… wanted to see you. Make sure you are okay, I guess.”

“You can come in,” you said, as you stepped back to give him

Jason acknowledged your invitation with a small nod, and silently climbed through the window. He entered your apartment. “Nice place you got here,” he said, his gaze taking in his surroundings. “Very… cozy.”

You led him in your living room and turned to him, “So how long have you been spying me exactly?”

“Long enough to know you like to read in your spare time,” he quipped, gesturing towards the stack of books on your coffee table. “But to answer your question, I just got here. I wasn’t stalking you or anything,” he added. You scoffed, “What a jerk.”

“Rude much?” he grumbled under his breath, feigning offence. “I’m just concerned about you, can’t a guy worry about his friend?”

“Well not when said guy is sneaking around her apartment.” you argued back “Fine you got me.” he rolls his eyes.

“Jason, what’s going to happen for the both of us?” you asked, your eyes darting on the floor. It was hard to look at him. “You can’t have me, and I can’t have you. So now what?” Jason crossed his arms, “You know I don’t have an answer for that.” His frustration was evident, “What do you want me to say?” he asked you. “It is what it is. We’re stuck in a messy, complicated situation, and there’s no easy way out.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say either so that’s why I’m asking you.” you argued back.

“Why do you think I’m here, huh? I’m just as confused and frustrated as you are! There’s no easy answer to this. I care about you, and you care about me.” he scowls, “So what are we supposed to do?” asked, almost repeating your question. “Ignore this? Pretend we don’t feel anything?”

You huffed, “Well, you just want to solve this because I’m your weak point.” you coldy said. Jason’s jaw tensed at your words. “You really think that’s all this is?” he snapped, hurt laced in his voice.

“You think I’ve been coming here all this time because you’re my ‘weak point’? You think it’s just some convenience?”

You felt guilty for saying something so impulsive, "Look, I don't mean.."

“No,” Jason cut you off, his eyes narrowing. “You know damn well what you said. You think I’m just using you because you’re my ‘weakness’? You think I’m that shallow?”

He clenched his fists, trying to control his rising anger. “I’ve been risking everything just to see you, to be near you, and that’s how you think of me? As someone who just sees you as an easy escape?”

“I-”

“Save it,” he interrupted you again, his voice icy. “If that’s what you really think of me, then maybe it’s better if I just leave.”mJason turned away from you, heading back towards the window, his movements stiff and filled with pent-up frustration.

You immediately grabbed his wrist, "Please wait." Jason froze at your touch, his arm tensing at your hold. He didn’t turn to face you, but he didn’t pull away either. "I'm sorry Jason.." you said "Don't leave, I cannot bear to lose you again," He turned back towards you slowly, “Why do you have to make this so difficult?”

You closed your eyes, your hand clutching his wrist as you silently waited for more things he had to say.

In a moment of impulse, he pulled you into a passionate kiss. His arms wrapped around your waist, his lips meeting yours with desire and desperation. Your eyes widened, not expecting the sudden gesture but kissed him back. The kiss deepened as Jason’s grip around you tightened, the dam of pent-up emotions finally breaking. He kissed you fiercely, his tongue seeking entrance into your mouth as he pulled you closer, pressing your body against his.

The kiss was desperate, a culmination of months of longing and unspoken desire. Jason's hands roamed over your body. He guided you backwards until you bumped against the wall, trapping you. He broke the kiss momentarily, his forehead resting against yours as he caught his breath. His eyes burned into yours, the intensity in his gaze almost overwhelming, “Damn you,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion, “I can’t keep pretending that I don’t want this.”

"I've been thinking so much about this." you huffed as you looked deep into his eyes "Please tell me you do too." you pleaded.

Jason’s gaze softened as he looked into your eyes, his hands cupping your face gently. “You think I can deny it at this point?” he said, a hint of a wry smile on his lips. “You think I’d be kissing you like this if I didn’t want it just as bad?” His thumbs traced over your cheeks, his touch gentle. “I dream about you,” he confessed, his voice low and rough. “All the time. I can’t get you out of my head, no matter how much I try to push you away.”

Jason lifted you off your feet, his strong arms effortlessly carrying you to your bedroom. His eyes never left yours, the heat of his gaze burning with desire. He kicked the door shut with his foot before laying you down carefully on the bed, his body hovering over you.

Clothes were scattered on the floor as the room was filled with nothing but ruffles of fabric and blissful moans. The two of you wore nothing but underwear. He lets out a low hum, a small smile playing on his lips as he stares down at you. "So pretty for me,”

He slowly leans down to press a kiss to your forehead, then the tip of your nose. Jason's eyes roam over your features as if he's trying to commit them to memory. He lets go of your hands to lean down even further, his lips now pressing sloppy kisses along your neck. He slowly starts to grind against you, letting you feel how excited he is.

The sight of you like this, splayed out beneath him, is enough to nearly bring him to his knees. "You're so perfect," he praises.

He slowly slides his hands down from your hips to hook his fingers in the waistband of your panties. His fingers trail across your skin, teasing as he slides the fabric across your skin. "Can I take these off now, doll?" Your breath hitched as you nodded, “Yes.” His head was nestled in your legs as he looked at you with those beautiful eyes. He doesn’t speak any more, he just closes the distance. His tongue immediately flattens against your core, giving a slow, broad lick.

Your hands reach out to his hair, holding Jason in place. His lips close around your clit as he gives it a sharp suck and you moan. Jason groans, the sound coming from deep within his chest, and his hold on you tightens even more, holding you firmly in place.

“You’re so sweet, doll,” he murmurs, his mouth now shiny with spit. “Can’t wait to hear more of your pretty noises.” He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, his head dipping down again to continue his meal.

He lets his tongue explore your center, lapping up every bit of you he could. He alternates between slow, languid laps and quick flicks of his tongue, wanting to hear every noise that comes out of your mouth.

“Mnn- m’ close..” you groaned.

He keeps his pace, his tongue working against you as his mouth doesn’t stop moving. “Then come for me, darlin’. I want you to come undone.” he murmurs in your pussy.

You whined, “But I wanna save it for you..”

He lifts his head to look at you, a lazy smirk on his face. His lips are glistening and his chin is glistening, his expression one of pure hunger. “You’re so sweet.” he smirks. “Then be a good girl and wait,” he murmurs. His fingers dig into your thighs a little harder, keeping you in place on the bed.

“I’ll make it worth the wait, I promise.” he says, his eyes never leaving your own. “Just gotta hold on for a little longer. Can you do that for me, doll?” You nodded “Y-yeah.. I can wait.” His eyes flick up to yours while he’s working on you, a small hum in his throat as he feels your fingers tangling in his hair.

He lets out a small moan, his eyes fluttering shut momentarily at the feeling of your touch. His own excitement is building too, his hips now rutting against the bed for some kind of friction. “Jay- god.. please..” you whispered. He hums again, the vibration rumbling against your skin. “Please what, darling’? Use your words.” he rasps, his mouth not stopping its work.

“Please.. m’ want you..”

“That’s my good girl.” he mutters, letting out a small huff. He lets go of your thighs, finally freeing you from his grasp. His eyes still haven’t left yours, his expression hung and hungry. His face is so messy. You can see your cum coating his lips and chin. Your hand reaches out to his face, fixing his messy hair and dirty face. Jason slowly starts to crawl up the bed now, his arms on either side of you as he covers your body with his own.

He leans down to press a kiss to your mouth, the heat from his body radiating against you. “Gonna make you feel so good, doll.” he mumbles into the kiss.

He grinds against you a bit, letting you feel the effect that you have on him. “You’re making this so hard, doll,” he groans, burying his head in the crook of your neck. His hands grip your hips as he slowly starts to push forward, a low moan coming from his lips as he does. “Fuck, you’re amazing.”

“I-its big..” you whimpered. “I know, I know..” he murmurs, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your hips. His own head is starting to get fuzzy, his breaths coming out in pants “You’re doing so good for me, doll.” You moaned in bliss as he started to move. Jason doesn’t waste any time before thrusting in the sensitive walls of your core. “That’s my sweet girl, you’re so good f’ me. Taking me in so well.” he whispered in your ear.

“So perfect, so beautiful. I’m all yours baby, i’ll make ya feel so good..” his movements a combination of gentle and rough, as he showered you with kisses and touches.

There was no more need for words, no more need for confessions or explanations. The touch of his skin on yours, the sound of your soft gasps, the heat of your bodies interlocking -- that was all the evidence you both needed.

As the night drew to an end, you lay spent and laid in each other's arms. Jason's head rested on your chest, one arm draping over your waist as he listened to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat.He traced mindless patterns on your skin, his fingers mapping out the contours of your body. “You know this still doesn’t solve anything right?” he muttered eventually.

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