#ㅤ SHE'S TOXIC & DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DO ~feelings~ BUT SHE /TRIES/??? ( i'm crying )

[gynaiko]

❝ I want the truth. Am I a mistake to you? ❞

ㅤㅤㅤThe truth? Wha-?ㅤOctavia’s question strikes her like a landing blow, catching her in a stupor that is unheard for Stella. All she can do in that moment is stare at her daughter, teacup poised comically in the air by her delicate talons; emerald orbs widened, processing the weight of the unspoken implications… ones she has to clarifyㅤ[ a… mistake? How could she even think that Stella would— ]ㅤbut the tragedy in them stirs something defensive in her. But her observations, no matter how astute, aren’t always preciseㅤ( she’s a lot less smart than she’d like to be, a fact that she’d take to her deathbed )

ㅤㅤㅤHer exhale is a deliberate & delicate movement; a routine from start to finish, with Octavia’s soft & pleading gaze being the only thing that tempers her ( in anger? Annoyance? Incredulity? ) shock,ㅤ�� Dear, is that how you believe your mother thinks of you? ❜ㅤnot the most sugar-coated words, but Stella knows nothing of kindness or delicacy towards offspring; but where lacked in her youth, she tries a little more in that regard…ㅤ❛ No, Octavia; you’re not a mistake, ❜ㅤ( she swallows thickly, mourning for the comfort she never received; no, her daughter isn’t a mistake, not like Stella is )ㅤdespite her best efforts, her words are brutally precise; clinical & direct, for these are untreaded waters,

ㅤㅤㅤTo soften her gaze is to display weakness, & it’s not something Stella even knows how to do despite her best efforts; her expression remains guarded, but there’s something in the eyesㅤ( remember:ㅤthe eyes give it away, always )ㅤ❛ Hear me now: I may not always… I’m not—ㅤthe best at expressing in a way you’d like, ❜ㅤhow you need,ㅤ❛ But that doesn’t mean I think you’re a mistake; you’re my daughter, & you carry the family name. That alone makes you important, worthy, ❜ㅤFor Stella, to be wrong & not fit the mold of what your purpose—ㅤNo, her daughter is no such thing; she is perfect…ㅤ❛ Mistakes are… regrets, Octavia. While there are certainly things in my own life I’d rather have done differently, you, love, are not one of them. Do your best to remember that, ❜ㅤher voice sharpens slightly, almost as though daring her to challenge her sincerity…

ㅤㅤㅤShe pauses, taking the time to adjust her posture & smoothing down her feathers, before meeting Octavia’s gaze directly. Her expression is ice but… not devoid of maternal softness,ㅤ❛ Don’t ask foolish questions like that again; you’re stronger than that; don’t let anyone, even me, make you doubt your worth. Who put such nonsense in your head? Was it your father? I’m going to have a talk with him, ❜ㅤbah, no matter… Stella has better things to do than ponder that mess;ㅤStella’s fingers twitch, & for a moment it almost looks like she wants to reach out to physically comfort Octavia… but thinks better on it, turning her attention to drinking her tea,