#「 v. 」 it's time for the resistance to rise ( au | star wars. )

[jwirecs]

Recommended BTS Social Media Au’s of June 2021📱

Just a small (maybe not so small) compilations of some of my favorite SMAU’s that I have read so far and would absolutely love to recommend to others!

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅ completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Privacy || @burningupp💕✅💯

↳ the members of bts have created private twitter accounts to try to vent their feelings in a new way. namjoon interacts with you when you need help with a crossword, and suddenly, the two of you are friends.(honestly this is so cute, like lowkey want that to happen to me cause like i need friends..but at the same time, stranger danger. but thats okay.)

Spilled Milk || @adorajoon💕✅💯💯

↳ an au in which you join an app that assigns you to groupchats randomly (the amount of crackhead energy that this au has is amazing. i honestly loved that energy.)

Star Crossed || @gukooky💕💔✅

↳ you’re an actress on the rise and for more recognition, your manager suggests getting into a Hollywood relationship. Driven by your work hard persona and strong desire for a break out, you agree. What your manager failed to tell you was who you were going to date: Hollywood’s favorite playboy, Kim Taehyung, most notably known as V.

Organic || @ppersonna 🔞💕💔✅

↳ You agree to do your childhood best friend, Namjoon, a favor by working as his boss’s gardener.  However, Namjoon fails to tell you just how much of a rich ass Kim Seokjin really is. You hate him, and he hates you, so why does it bother you when his ex makes her way back into his life?

The Sea Without You || @sopebubbles🔞💕💔✅

↳ When rapper Agust D mysteriously disappears, he leaves behind his rap group, his fiancé and his unborn child. Even if they get him back, will it ever be the same? Can they make it right?

Always || @yonkimint💕💔✅💯

↳ Five years after Kim Taehyung broke her heart and left her for her ex best friend, Park Jimin, y/n gets roped back into their messy lives when they ask her to be in the wedding. The temptation to sabotage the impending nuptials and win Tae back is too hard to resist. Will the others go along with these shenanigans? Will y/n hurt herself all over again? And what if Hobi has a confession to make that might just change everything?

Loser Baby || @dejayoonw🔞💕💔✅

↳ Schola Veneficas, a college for witches where everyone seems to know who you are which is weird considering you don’t really know much about your family history. When the cute fifth year takes pity on you it makes the unexpected hostility a little more bareable, at least for a little while.

3005 [An Atlas Heart Remix] || @hxseok-honee🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ they’re already together. she’s in love with someone else. in a whirlwind of circumstances predetermined by the war they never asked for, 8 friends manage to keep their innocence and cause chaos along the way ((with the help of 4 very familiar troublemakers)). but if it’s not hard to fathom werewolves, illegal animagi, and absolute mayhem, why is it so hard for her to accept that love doesn’t play by the rules? (a lil ol spin off to Atlas Heart. love it)

Neighborhood || @selfcontrol-idkher🔞💕💔✅

↳ Having a neighbor who has a stamina of a rabbit is horrible, especially when the walls are paper thin. But you know what’s worse? Catching feelings for the said neighbor.

Live & Love || @lysjeon💕💔✅💯💯

↳ namjoon always liked you but for some reason he never thought you would be interested in him. and you are too scared to tell him you like him too. (this is so cute stop.)

R U Still There? || @seokstrivia💕💔✅

↳ All he wanted to do was live his life to the fullest (its a short one but its a good one. for real.)

Do check out all of the other BTS SMAU’s that I have reblogged on my blog as well!!!

** if there’s any fic that you guys could recommend me to read, i would love to get some recommendations! im slowly running out of smau’s to read. **

[affcgato-archived]

Star Wars // fandom verse.

compliant with multi-generational canon from the star wars prequels to the sequel trilogy, with heavy influences from Thrawn Ascendancy. verse is an extension of Brock's canon variant verse for captain marvel.

verse: → brock rumlow // cost paid in power or position (v.) verse status: fandom verse, open for interaction note: verse built off of canon-variant verse; captain marvel (see; I got some moves on canon/au verse tab)

backstory from variant verse;

Called in to assist with the joint SHIELD/US Air Force project pegasus, Brock was exposed to the energy of the Tesseract alongside Carol Danvers via the destruction of the Light-Speed Engine, & obtained cosmic powers. They were both made into a Kree-human hybrid via the blood transfusion from Yon-Rogg after being taken back to Hala & having their old memories removed so that they could become the Kree's weapons & members of Starforce.

During their Kree-Skrull War, Danvers & Rumlow returned to Earth & began recalling their past, with help from Nick Fury & Maria Rambeau. Danvers had then also discovered that Yon-Rogg & the Kree Empire had been manipulating them for years, learning from Talos that the Skrulls were merely seeking to find a new home.

With this information, the both of them were able to unlock their true powers & defeated the Kree invasion onto Earth that was being led by Ronan the Accuser. After defeating the attempted invasion, the two of them would go their separate ways.

the verse;

Brock elected to stay on earth to study the effects of the energy of the tesseract via light-speed engine having bonded with him on a molecular level after parting ways with Danvers. During one of the tests conducted at a highly secured SHIELD facility, designated the lighthouse, an equipment failure triggered a meltdown event & an unstable portal was opened right under Brock's feet shortly before further equipment failure triggered an explosion.

When he woke up in the aftermath, he was no longer on earth. Worse, he was no longer in any quadrant of his own known galaxy. Picked up by a ship deep in the Unknown Regions, Brock would spend the bulk of his recovery in the depths of the Chiss Ascendancy.

His recovery was slow & curious, but he adapted quickly. Once it was determined his energy signatured had indeed originated from outside of the known galaxy, he was approached by members of various ruling families. Two families in particular, the Mitth & the Irizi family were especially aggressive in recruiting him in a process he would come to be familiar with called merit adoption.

It wasn't until he met with a senior member of a Chiss ruling family, & another former merit adoptive that Brock accepted the invitation & officially joined the Mitth family, taking the name Mitthan'drea'safis with the core name Andreas after his birth name back on earth.

Over the next ten years, Brock would study alongside the others at Taharim Academy, learning skills that would become useful to him when he began his service in the Chiss Expansionary Defense Fleet, as well as learning the trade languages his family insisted were necessary. During this time, he was elevated to trial born status after undertaking the Trials, an act he shouldered during his time with the fleet.

When Thrawn, another member of the Mitth family, went missing, it was Brock who left the Ascendancy with the help of the Ascendancy & Aristocra to hunt him down. It was during this time his travels took him to the Core Worlds, & eventually he would cross paths with one Senator Leia Organa. Moved by her dedication but also by her concerns of the imminent rise of the First Order in the ashes of the Empire, Brock would elect to stay with her & followed her to the Resistance.

For now, he bides his time while keeping an eye on the horizon. There's a lot of questions he needs answered, but that will have to wait. There's a war coming, & once again, he's been called to arms.

verse-specific notes

in this verse, Brock retains his abilities from his captain marvel verse

Brock is fluent in Cheunh & Galatic Basic, as well as the trade languages of the Chaos such as Taarja & Minnisiat.

While he has a formal name following Chiss naming conventions, it uses his birth name as a core name - Mitthan'drea'safis, producing the core name Andreas. He'll answer to this name when addressing with his new-found homeworld, but outside of the ascendancy, he prefers to default to Brock.

Brock has an extended lifespan thanks to the Kree blood given to him during his time on Hala. among other factors, it's slowed down his aging to allow him to appear no more than mid to late forties when he meets with members of the Resistance in 34 ABY, despite being well over 70.

He holds the family ranking of ranking distant within the Mitth family.

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2019 | Pt III

I can’t fucking edit my post because this website is crap, so we get a part three even though there’s only two more months to 2019. But whatever, I’m not bitter or anything.

Reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read one hundred books this year (finished!), finish five video games (finished!), write something novel-length (not so much, does it count if I wrote a novel’s worth of short stories in October?) and write something original (technically done? don’t know if I want to count a snippet that didn’t even hit 1k). These last two goals CAN be combined (I might try NaNo this year, so we will see).

Part I: January-July Part II: August-October

MOVIES

November

The King

(V For Vendetta)

(Avengers: Endgame)

(Beauty and the Beast: Enchanted Christmas)

Frozen 2

(Winnie the Pooh)

Journey to the Sun

December

Klaus

(Aladdin: Return of Jafar)

Hotel Artemis

(The Santa Claus)

(Star Wars: A New Hope)

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

(Love Actually)

BOOKS

November

The Gilded Wolves | Roshani Chokshi [Fin]

Words of Radiance | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

Oathbringer | Brandon Sanderson

The Hating Game | Sally Thorne [Fin]

Again, But Better | Christine Riccio [Fin]

The Queen of Nothing | Holly Black [Fin]

North and South | Elizabeth Gaskell

December

Oathbringer | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

Snow, Glass, Apples | Neil Gaiman, Colleen Doran [Fin]

North and South | Elizabeth Gaskell [Fin]

The Starless Sea | Erin Morgenstern [Fin]

There There | Tommy Orange [Fin]

The Secret Commonwealth | Philip Pullman

The Library of the Unwritten | A.J. Hackwith [Fin]

PODCASTS

November

The Penumbra Podcast s3, Eps 2-3

The Magnus Archives Eps 160

King Falls AM Eps 11-30

Adventure Zone Moonlighting Pt 1

(Zero Hours: When the Beat Drops)

December

The Magnus Archives Q&A

Outliers s1, ep 1

King Falls AM Eps 31-34

TV SHOWS

November

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, s6

His Dark Materials, s1

She-Ra, s4

(Gargoyles, s1)

South Park

Rick & Morty, s4

Star vs the Forces of Evil s1, s2

The Flash, s4

The Dragon Prince, s4

The Mandalorian

Star Wars: Rebels, s1

December

His Dark Materials, s1

The Mandalorian

The Dragon Prince, s4

The Untamed

The Good Place, s3

The Witcher, s1***

The Great British Bake Off, s7

VIDEO GAMES

November

Assassin’s Creed: Origins (10 hours)

Death Stranding (10 hours)

Pokemon: Shield (20 hours)

December

Pokemon: Shield (20 hours)

Red Dead Redemption 2 (2 hours)

DELIGHTFUL FIC

November

The Sun Dog by ambiguously | Star Wars | Finn/Ren/Rey | 5k | Finn and Rey, with their semi-prisoner Kylo Ren, attempt to meet up with the Resistance on a planet that has been taken over by monsters.

Seeing Ghosts by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4.5k | Ryan blames the entire thing on temporary insanity.

silver in our lungs by taywen | Spinning Silver | Miryem/The Staryk Lord | 3.6k | The marks had been with Miryem for as long as she could remember. 

sing all your questions to sleep by Wildehack (tyleet) | The Magnus Archives | Martin/Jon | 1.5k | Jon, Martin, and Basira take a breath.

as ordinary things often do by lymricks | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 4k | Max is yelling out the window, “She means like, two weeks--” before they’re turning around the corner and--And Steve is standing on the front steps of Billy Hargrove’s house, keys jingling in his palm, thinking what the fuck?

on hairpins by Lirazel | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Gen | 3k | When the citizens of Attolia complain that the Thief of Eddis is a terrible influence on their queen, they have no way of knowing the truth of their own words.

the umbrella by Wildehack (tyleet) | The Magnus Archives | Martin/Jon | 4.6k | "And to think—all of Jonah Magnus’ carefully laid plans, the centuries of scheming, the murders, the sacrifices, all of that work could have been completely undone if Martin Blackwood had gone back for an umbrella"

you got me begging, begging, i'm on my knees by plalligator | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 5k | (or, that struggle when you're a guard who's in love with your rulers and it turns out you would kind of like it if they bossed you around a little)

rumour has it by plalligator | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 1.5k | “Costis, what in the name of the gods happened? I have heard from five separate people that you have a secret sweetheart who you went to meet on your day off.”

Home Was A Dream by impertinence | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 3k | Lunch, a mysterious fruit, revelations, and sex. In that order.

Well Loved by SerenadeStrong (ninja_orange) | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 3.5k | Gen finally convinces Costis to sleep with his wife.

and so begins by romanoff | Marvel | Steve/Tony | 8k | After Tony's death, Steve is adrift. He carries Tony's body, and thinks: I never said thank you.

something more alive than silence by pageleaf | The Queen’s Thief | Costis/Attolia/Eugenides | 21k | It was a good thing that six months after the king had promised to halve the guard, he still hadn’t done it, because since then, there had been two attempts on the king’s life.

Covenant by liesmyth | Stormlight Archive | Kaladin/Adolin | 9k | Adolin had never imagined he’d meet his match like this, on the dusty streets of Sadeas’s warcamp - or that it would be a bridgeman of all people, defiance clear in his dark brown eyes.

How Do You Catch a Storm and Pull It Down? by liadan14 | Stormlight Archive | Kaladin/Adolin/Shallan | 4k | It takes Shallan approximately two months after the wedding to realize that she is an idiot.

Keep It In Your Sights Now by LuckyDiceKirby | Shades of Magic | 9k | Holland travels with Lila and Kell. Somewhere along the way, they reach an equilibrium.

waiting for the sunlight by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | 18k | Sara had always known, growing up as both an only child and a princess, that she would likely not marry for love. 

Fifty Shades of Gold by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 21k | That’s his official position: he’s over Ricky Goldsworth.Shane’s unofficial position, regrettably, is that he’d rather be under Ricky Goldsworth.

(these things take time by sonhoedesrazao | Les Mis | Enjolras/Grantaire | 63k | He’s always wary of making assumptions; even more so when Grantaire is concerned. He knows he’s not the easiest person to deal with. People either like him or can’t stand him, and it’s easy to respond to those reactions, but Grantaire—Grantaire is hostile and mocking, Grantaire scorns his beliefs, and Grantaire stays.)

December

Begin the Begin, Over and Over by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 33k | Shane only agrees to be handcuffed to Ryan for a video because he can put up with anything for twenty-four hours. That’s the funny thing about time loops, though—they don’t always adhere to the parameters set by clickbait videos.

When I Fall to Rise by lc2l | Thor | Loki/Thor | 41k | Loki wakes up to ship alarms blaring, the air full of ash and Valkyrie saying she brought him back because she needs his help. She's captaining a small emergency vessel containing the last handful of Asgardians desperately looking for a place to call home. And she's having to do it sober.

From Orbit by astolat | Star Wars | Leia/Han/Luke | 4k | “You’ve got to quit doing this,” Han said.

Charioteer by petrichoral | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 14k | Captured in battle and stuck in the Mede capital, Costis has given up all hope of seeing his country again. But Eugenides has a habit of turning up where he's least expected.

ready if it happens with you by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4k | It’s not a thing. Ryan’s just a little… touch-starved. Intimacy-starved.

I fancied you’d return the way you said by ambiguously | Star Wars | Reylo | 3k | No one else can see him. Rey is used to that.

i kill giants by diasterisms | Star Wars | Reylo | WIP | 7k | "Rey Skywalker?" There's a vaguely sardonic twist to the corner of his mouth. "Does that make you my cousin now?"

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

November

MARVEL/DC - Runnin

THE WITCHER | MAIN TRAILER | NETFLIX

(GoT) Daenerys Targaryen | Meant To Fall

Game of Thrones | Never Wanted to Leave

young god.. (multifandom)

Poison & Wine | Ben and Rey

Multifandom ][ Glitter & Gold

rules of nature [multifandom amv]

December

what's up danger [Death Stranding]

Kylo Ren || Destiny

star wars || blue monday

K[L]AUS | High Enough

2019 Movie Trailer Mashup

Reylo | My Love Will Never Die [tros spoilers] Rey & Ben

Reylo | Dusk Till Dawn [+TROS Spoilers]

REYLO || SOMEBODY TO DIE FOR (+tros)

Multifandom Mashup 2019

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

November

Frozen 2 Soundtrack

Les Mis Soundtrack

December

Spotify Unwrapped 2019

Reylo Playlist

POSTED FIC

November

open the walls, play with your dolls | Coraline | Coraline/Wybie | 2,886 words | Halloween at the Pink Palace is a lot like any other time of year.

December

yule gift #2 - 4,639 words [fin]

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

November

December

yule gift #1 - 1,267 words [unfinished]

yule gift #2 - 4,639 words [fin]

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

November

Havoc

December

Somebody to Die For - a Reylo playlist

[kahliethefangirl]

Young God

Pairing: Ivar x OC (Modern AU) Rating: E Warnings: Contains sexual content, MCD, depression and anxiety, triggers. Note: I got the VIP seat on the angst train right now and I’m heading straight to that wall over there. I will regret this when waking up tomorrow. Got insipred af by Halsey’s Young God and my own depression. Guess it’s good for something. And the greatest hug I can muster to all you out there fighting with that same crippling depression as I. I love you all (yeah this is the worst way showing it but I suck) You are the strongest people I know of ,breathing every day. You are strong! __ He was the dark side of the moon. She was the brightest day of sun.

He was the crippled mess messing around even more to the point it pained him to the core.

She was the good girl always making her bed when she woke up each morning to give her mother the daily kiss on her rosy cheek.

He drank his coffee black with a cigarette from the corner of his mouth and she was the one drinking green tea and running an hour before bed.

He was dark, she was light. He was bad, she was good.

He was determined to ruin her completely and she kept telling her heart she didn't need it so badly.

"This is a bad idea." Line grunts when he grins over his broad shoulder; head covered by the grey hood of his shirt.

"My middle name, baby girl." He limps onward until they find themselves in the backyard of the old abandoned house; the empty pool full of debris and the blue paint chipped.

"Why here?" She looks around like someone would care and he purrs like a cat stretching in that specific spot of warm sun at her being so insecure.

"Why not?" He throw the crutches away after sitting down on the stair leading down to the bottom of the pool.

One step at the time he heaved himself and with arms crossed she is watching him with arms stretched over his head when finally at the bottom amongst the leaves, empty bottles and memories left for the wind.

She was always around him whenever he asked it of her and he always did. She needed his ruining touch as much as he needed her mending kindness.

There was this silent, constant little war of who would win. Would she help him out of his misery laced with the weed and the alcohol or would he drag her down with him to the bottom of that dry pool without water to drown her in his own thirst for redemption?

"Why can't we go see a movie like normal people or cook, or whatever?" She squirms on her spot looking down at him.

She never did however: not once did she ever look down on him.

Throughout his depressions deepest pits, when crawling over her lawn drunk as ever or when he could barely keep his hands off of her. Never did she ever blame him.

"Because we are not normal people." He grins and she loves it, how it makes her feel.

He's so sure of himself outwardly. He always tells her stories about how they will be the greatest and how one day people will no longer laugh at them.

He's been to heaven he says, the first time she allowed him to kiss her. She thinks it's cute but stupid. Her kiss is nothing like heaven although Ivar says so. Ivar talks a lot however.

"Come on pet, just a little wine and then we can watch the stars all night or whatever is your perfect picture of a date." He teases and she rolls her honey eyes at him before finally descending to his level; at least a bit.

"Don't be scared, the water is amazing!" He pretends to play around in the nonexistent water and draws laughter from her. A sound he is most fond of. It reminds him of being happy, not constantly feeling the need to suffocate his pain with stupid and reckless shit in all honesty just making it worse.

She loves his laugh because she knows he can feel a bit of it when he allows it. She desperately hopes he will find it one day. The light.

The cork of the wine jumps away and he puts the green bottle to his rich lips and she stares. Oh he knows how she stares at him when she thinks he can't see.

He stares too but he doesn't care if she sees it or not. Never have she allowed him to touch her underneath those proper clothes so he's in his full right staring.

"Now you." He offers her the bottle, the sweet scent of red wine reminding her of the first and only time he got her drunk. "I bought a good one this time, try." His lips indeed tastes of the wine and her heart rate is going of charts like it always does.

She secretly wishes for him to have her break so she can give herself fully to him.. but the silver ring on her finger reminds her of the promise she made; not to ever touch a man before married.

God or Ivar? It was a choice harder than he could wrap his head around.

He swore to her God that they would make him look small and pointless if she just let him show her the realm of young Gods. Or reckless youths as Line always called them.

When his lips leave hers she takes a swig of the wine but it would never taste as good as when from his own mouth.

Her entire being already wanted him to be as close to her as humanly possible and knowing the wine would make it harder to resist she simply decline having more.

With a grunt and a shrug he drinks by himself, not minding. That is what he does.

Ivar drinks, Ivar smokes, Ivar is hurting himself in any way possible in futile hope it would sooner or later release him from the real pain inside of him.

Line didn't know what depression and anxiety was like. She has been sad about small things in comparison and so angry at times she thought it impossible for it to be worse. Then she had met Ivar.

Three years and she had held him so many times whilst screaming and praying for death to come just so he wouldn't have to feel himself die anymore.

So many shirts had been smeared with snot, tears and saliva and sometimes even blood.

She knew there was scars on his prominent hipbones causing the tempting V of his abdomen to look even sharper.

She knew there were records in the hospital of numerous times they had to empty his stomach of pills.

She knew she wasn't one of those Gods he always talked of them being but still she was there, constantly trying to save him just one more day.

"You know-" he whispers when darkness slowly crawled up the sky; letting it slowly shift in different colors until they could finally spot the first stars as he had promised her.

"-sometimes I think you're the most pretty thing on earth." He muses, his face blank where they lay on their backs in the pool.

His one arm is under her neck and resting her head on his chest she tilts it up to look at him.

"Sometimes?" She giggles and she can see a shy smile tugging at his lips.

He should smile more, for so many reasons. He should smile more because he would feel better she'd think but mostly because there was nothing so astonishing as his blue eyes radiating nothing but light and joy when he did.

"Sure. Because sometimes you are the most pretty thing in the entire universe." He adds, as if she was stupid for not getting that from the start.

Her heart swells in that specific way only Ivar can cause it to swell and the heat inside her chest is so intense he must truly feel it.

He was good giving her compliments so covered in sugar even the smallest child would scream in horror of the exaggerated amount.

But it was his way; always too much or nothing at all. Black or white, good or bad.

"You haven't seen everyone in the universe, not even earth." She points out, painting lazy figures on his slowly heaving chest when he sighs.

"Why would I want to when you're right here?" She giggles and smiles in his absolute favorite way.

He rolls them over, his upper body held up by his one arm beside her head.

He never fully understood why she wanted him so bad. He could be exiting and fun for her sure, being so damned proper all the time.

But three years? Three years of knowing what he truly is?

"I will always be right here, Ivar." She whispers, running her fingers through his dark hair and she can feel the fine hairs on his neck rise in their wake.

"Don't promise things you can't keep." He frowns, his face pained and she attempts a comforting smile.

Outwardly Ivar is secure, sure of himself and the fucking king of the world; nothing could bring him down.. nothing but himself and now Line.

"I'll be the judge of that, not you with your crappy judgement. I wouldn't lend you my bike and feel safe." She teases and she earns a airy laugh before he leans down to kiss the tip of her nose; small freckles to be found when the sun had kissed her long enough.

"You don't have a bike." He whispers, planting soft and delicate open mouth kisses along her one cheekbone, down over her ear and back along her jaw.

"Because you broke it." She points out in a hushed moan; something that causes his entire body to stiffen.

His hands eager but skilled in holding himself at bay, roams her chest and the way he cups her small breasts through her shirt is making her heart pound its way out of her chest right into his. Where it truly belongs.

Once he'd told her his heart was broken and in a sheepish moment she told him he could have hers; because hers would break if his didn't heal.

He'd cried for two hours. He'd screamed and shouted in a fit of such pain it had scared the shit out of her.

Causing her pain was the only thing he feared more than his own.

"Ivar." She holds his hand back and the heavy sigh fanning her face cause her to roll her eyes; faking that she's so strong and can resist him without maximum effort.

"You and your stupid ring." He groans and she swats the back of his head playfully. "Do I really need to put another ring on that finger to touch you?" He looks puzzled as he always did when he actually stopped and thought about that she so strongly held onto her beliefs.

"I'm afraid so." If he only knew how close he was each time having her break that promise seemingly stupid even to her when his hands so curiously tried to discover her mysterious body.

"Fine then." His one hand disappears in the pocket of his jeans and brings back a circular bubblegum box of blue plastic. It looks old and the sticker on it is chipped and the colors faded.

"What is that?" Her brows knit together when she stares at the little box between his fingers and he shakes it; something creating a sound from inside.

"Apparently my ticket to touch you, silly girl." He smirks, nodding for her to take the box and hesitantly she does.

Inside there's a ring. Simple, probably too big for her fingers and covered in the sweet and sticky scent of bubblegum although the box is old.

"I will go back to work soon and then I'll buy you a nicer one." Now he looks worried when she lay on her back underneath him with the ring in front of her eyes. She studies it as if it was an alien item unknown to her.

"Are you serious?" Her hair is like a golden halo around her head and the dim lights still hanging on to the world drains it from light. She looks like the fallen angel she is to him.

"No I was only joking. I was thinking about giving it to the girl next door because you know, her boobs looks great and I'd bet she let me touch her-" he rants, taking the ring from between her fingers and attempts rolling off of her.

"No!" She laughs, catching his hand between hers and she pulls him back up. A soft kiss is placed on his knuckles and he knows what love is when she looks at him then.

"Yes, she does have nice boobs." He mocks and she rolls her eyes.

"If you're giving me a ring I don't like you to talk about other girls boobs." She pouts playfully and his smile is back.

"Well you haven't let me see yours properly so I can hardly talk about them." His whisper close to her ear sends a familiar shiver through her and it curls up like a hot little knot in her abdomen.

"Like you said, the ring changes that; doesn't it?" Her voice is almost useless when she can feel his hand move from her hip up her side, her shirt getting stuck on his wrist and follows his hand up.

His skin is warm on hers and when his thumb feathers over her nipple her back arches and she gasps.

"You have to tell your mother about the ring you know." He reminds her before taking her earlobe between his lips, sucking gently.

"I will have to tell a lot of people but I don't care." She turns her head, her lips finding his and they stop caring together for a second.

His hand moves down her thigh, squeezing it through her jeans before it dips down its inside and force it apart from the other.

"I know you deserve to be fucked properly." He groans to her neck when he palms her sex through her jeans; causing her to buck into his touch. "But I will do my best." He bites down her skin and she couldn't care less he would never be able to be inside of her.

She lift her hips when he unbutton her jeans and pull them down just enough for him to dip his fingers in under her panties.

She gasps hushed, holding onto him for dear life where his mouth feasts on her breasts and his one finger parts her folds to discover the secret wetness.

One finger didn't hurt because god knows she had done that herself thinking about him when she was alone. She had imagined his fingers curl inside and slowly pump her all the way to his stupid idea of heaven.

The second finger was pure bliss stretching her walls and when he moved his face to between her legs she was ready to explode of sensations right on his wicked tongue.

Her fingers tugged at his hair, sometimes pressing him even closer when his tongue dipped inside her warmth so that her eyes rolled back and she saw stars not of this world.

Her release was nothing like the one she had brought upon herself so many times, Ivar constantly in mind. The one he brought her she realizes she'd been waiting for, for three years.

She didn't care the entire neighborhood probably heard her scream his name and the vibration his moans sent though her sex was enough to have her blank for a second.

"I love you, do you remember that?" He mumbles almost asleep when her head is back on his chest and she's hiding inside his large hoodie. She can't stop thinking about that he must be cold in just his t-shirt but his skin so burning and soft against her through the fabric she can't find it in her to move.

"I do." She assures him, planting a tired kiss randomly on his chest. It's easy to say this would be her favorite memory of him but also the one that would cause her the most pain.

_____

The photo of him smiling so wide she could see his white teeth straight and glistening is her favorite.

He stands with his older brother and she had stolen it from his drawer the first year of dating.

She can't stop staring at it when sitting like a ball under the covers in her bed.

His mother had called her and the tears in her voice matched the ones running down her cheeks perfectly.

"He did it. Oh Line he did it my poor boy!" She had cried in the phone and after that she don't remember much more.

It had ended so quickly and she find herself thinking that she really thought she could've saved him.

Every smile, every time he called her just so he wouldn't have to be alone in his torment she thought he really wanted to make it.

But it had gotten too much, hadn't it? It must have because he's not here anymore.

The silent tears like soft rain makes her face red and puffy.

She hates him for leaving her and she hates him for giving up just like that, without a word.

He had told his mother about the ring and he promised her to hold her hand when she told her own. But they never got that far.. because he gave up.

It's hard for her to wrap her head around how he could do that to her. Give her that ring with his promise and then leave her.

Since the day they met he'd been so keen to have her around, to show her his world and she whines silently when she thinks of the way he promised her heaven like she never heard of it before. He'd promise her to be a god, to be loved and to be with him for the rest of her life.

But he went to be that young God without her. He's up there watching everyone he knew run around in sadness and grief.

He left her down here and not until know, when he's finally gone she starts to think that he actually succeeded bringing her down to his world. Becaus this pain, could one truly live with it?