#《He is the last true mouthpiece》❝ visage ❞

[vizhi0n]

Sawney - Part 39

Chapter Masterlist

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Warnings: Smuttt and some language.

No treaty ended the war. No negotiations. The bloodshed came to a standstill, and even Desa wasn’t sure whether or not Rick and his people had it out for them. At this point, it was the least of her concerns — her own deteriorating mental health deserve more attention.

At least I’m self aware.

Drake and Regina would get no graves. Simon’s body had been burned. All three losses felt like a dagger through her heart, the wound deep and spewing. She masked her pain with a stone-cold visage.

“You’re still my right hand,” Negan murmured, kissing Desa on the cheek as they basked in the afterglow of lovemaking. “Now, more than fucking ever.”

Desa sighed, lips brushing against his temple as she rolled atop him, fingers dipping down to grasp his hardened cock. His breath was warm against her skin, hitching when she swept her thumb over the tip. Letting out a grunt, Negan sat up and flipped Desa so she lay, settled, on her back beneath him.

“Yes,” Desa hissed. She hooked her legs around his hips as he pushed in, slowly. He was watching each and every muscle in her face twitch, his lips responding to her lust-blown expression with a small smile, before latching onto her neck. The faster he thrust, the louder Desa became, until she was begging, senses overwhelmed by his mouth and his fingers and his cock-

Negan could barely form words, mouth open as he rolled his hips, slowing his movements when Desa clenched around him. In a low voice, he murmured, “That’s it. That’s fucking it. Come on, let the fuck go for me. Let go for me.”

It was more of a demand than a request. Desa obeyed, soaking his dick in her release before falling limp, tugging him against his as he, too, came with a groan of pleasure and contentment. Desa clawed at his back, desperately needing to just feel his skin beneath her fingers as stars danced behind her closed eyelids. The thought of letting him go was unbearable at this point. 

Negan rolled to his side, still keeping Desa in a vice grip. It was as if he were afraid to release her.

“I’m not going anywhere. Stay for a minute,” Desa chuckled, lightly running her knuckles across his cheek. “I know you have redirect duty later today.”

“Shit. Yeah,” Negan rubbed his eyes. “Usually Simon would be on it, but...”

Desa winced, but nodded in understanding. “I see.”

“We lost some good soldiers,” Negan murmured. “Hopefully we’ll be able to sort all this shit out. Get shit back to the way it was...maybe. I’m not fucking sure anymore. I’m not sure about anything anymore.”

“I don’t think that anybody does. I sure as hell don’t,” Desa sighed. “Maybe ignorance is bliss. Maybe that’s really true.”

“We’re fucked, if that’s the case,” Negan leaned over and kissed her, before rolling out of bed. Desa took the time to admire his very fine, very bare backside as he searched for his clothes while she remained under the covers, comfortable as can be. 

She noticed him staring rather long at Lucille, brows furrowed. Desa hummed, reaching for him. She said, “One day, you’re going to get rid of that bat.”

Negan froze. His eyebrows rose, his face contorting — though not in anger. He said, “You know what she means to me—”

“You have to heal, Negan. You have to let go—”

“You’re the only woman in my life right now. You,” Negan said, quickly putting on his clothes. As he buckled his belt, he added, “But this is all I have left of her. And I’m not fucking ready. Not yet.”

As he bypassed the bed, Desa reached out to grasp his wrist. She brought his palm to her lips, pressing a kiss against the skin. “Just…be careful out there.”

“I will. I fucking love you,” Negan winked, and Desa let him go. 

“Love you, too.”

An hour later, she decided to get up. Pulling on her clothes, she entered the vacant parlor. It felt different without his wives. She knew that he had no intention of taking them back, and part of her way grateful. Once again, things felt domestic, and not hectic. Normal.

The doors opened. Sherry walked in and stopped, mouth open in surprise when she saw Desa. Sheepishly, she said, “I’m just grabbing a few things that I left behind—”

“I’m not mad at you, Sherry,” Desa shook her head, and the woman’s shoulders sagged with relief. “I have to much on my mind to be angry.”

Desa sat on one of the couches, patting the cushion next to her. Sherry sat, dark hair framing her face as she ducked her head. “I’m glad things are getting back on track.”

“I’m surprised you’re still here,” Desa said. “I imagined you’d go with Dwight — I’d have vouched for you—”

“Dwight and I aren’t together. It was never going to work.”

“Even…before?”

Sherry shrugged. She let out a breath, leaning back and saying, “Dwight and I found Negan. We let him in to our group of stragglers. I think…the moment I saw him was when it hit me. I went to him, first, not vice versa. Way before the Sanctuary. Before the Saviors. I felt less bad about becoming a wife because I’d already been with him before—”

Desa made a low noise in the back of her throat. She wanted to be angry — but she couldn’t.

Sensing her discomfort, Sherry said, “I didn’t love him. Never have, never will. That’s the difference. You’ve made him a better man.”

“I’ve made him a damaged man,” Desa murmured. “I led him to the Estate. I led him to Father. If I’d have just…kept walking when I spotted this place—”

“I say that everyday. What if I’d said no? What if I’d been faithful to Dwight? But it’s done, and I can’t go back. Neither can you. You don’t have to move on all alone.”

“Thank you, Sherry.”

Sherry wrapped an arm around Desa and squeezed. The two women sat, basking in the emptiness of the parlor.

“Did Negan approve of this?”

“I’ll be back before he gets back. It won’t take too long,” Desa peered over at Laura, sliding into the truck. She rolled her eyes, quirking her lips before patting the side of the truck.

“You really don’t like following orders, do you?”

“I was never good at it. I never liked being cooped up in one place, anyway,” Desa smirked. “You’re in charge until I get back.”

“Get back. Don’t disappear on us like last time,” Laura joked, and Desa chuckled. She signaled the guards and they hastily opened the gates. She left the Sanctuary, headed towards Alexandria — in the passengers seat lay a basked filled with toys and books she’d scavenged.

Are you doing this for her, or for yourself?

Both.

From her knowledge, Alexandria was in the stages of rebuilding. While Rick’s home had been spared, the others had suffered, some destroyed, some burned. The townhouses were some of the only structures left standing, along with a few houses near the gate that had escaped the explosive assault.

She parked the car on the grass, just outside the gate, before hopping out and taking the basket with her. To her relief, Carl greeted her.

“Desa?”

“I brought some things for your sister. I know we took a lot,” Desa shrugged as Carl slid open the gate. “I’m not staying long — I just wanted to drop this off.”

Carl took the box, smiling. Mirth danced in his eyes and he said, “She said her first word the other day.”

“I’m assuming it was my name?”

Carl laughed, shaking his head. Desa smiled as he said, “She still has the keychain you gave her.”

“Well, it’s hers. And so are those. I’m not sure when she’ll start reading, some of them are kind of advanced—”

“What are you doing here?”

Rick approached, walking rather fast. It occurred to Desa that, of course, Carl was probably the only Alexandrian who had an inkling of trust towards her. The rest had every reason to be hostile, and here she was, encroaching on their territory. Again.

In a low voice, she said, “Hello, Rick.”

“She brought toys for Judith,” Carl glanced at his father. Rick visibly relaxed, and Carl added, “I’m going to go show them to Michonne. Thank you, Desa.”

“My pleasure.”

She was left alone with Rick. He still didn’t look pleased, but she could see in his eyes that he was making an attempt to come to terms with the situation. He looked around before changing his posture, saying, “Is Negan with you?”

“No. Just me. But anything you say to me will go right back to him.”

“That’s what I want. We need to talk. You’re his mouthpiece — that’s good enough for me.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

I was hoping to avoid this.

Desa sighed, following Rick. She was aware of the stares — the woman who’d attempted to take Negan’s life stood on one of the porches, glaring daggers in Desa’s direction. She was glad to get out of the spotlight and into Rick’s home, where he closed the door and gestured for her to sit at the dining room table.

Michonne joined Rick adjacent to Desa. Now she felt outnumbered — the unexpected meeting was putting her on edge, making her wary.

That’s exactly what they want.

They’ve learned.

“We want to negotiate sharing our resources,” Michonne began. “Start over, and then start off right. Can you get Negan to agree to that?”

“I’m surprised you’re not asking me to kill him.”

“Carl vouched for you,” Rick said. “He told me how you protected him from those Whisperers. You aren’t Negan. I’m willing to take a chance with you, not him.”

“Can you do it?” Michonne pressed.

“By sharing resources, you mean...?”

“Trade,” Rick said. “Between Alexandria, the Hilltop, the Sanctuary and the Kingdom. It’s not a done deal — the goal in the end is to have everyone sitting down together.”

“Including Negan?”

Rick closed his eyes and sighed. Michonne just stared blankly, something akin to ire twinkling behind her dark eyes.

“Yes,” Rick said reluctantly. “Even Negan.”

“Then I’m in. I’ll talk to him. Making plans for the future is something we need to do,” Desa laced her fingers together. “Will Maggie agree to this?”

“We’ll see,” Rick said. “We also want assistance rebuilding Alexandria. Reparations.”

“Reparations?” Desa reeled back. “From what I remember, you struck first. You slaughtered my people while they slept.”

“What would have happened,” Michonne said, “Had we not? Would Negan have been merciful?”

Desa ground her teeth, looking away. She had a point. Someone would have died, regardless. Negan would have asserted his dominance regardless of whether or not bullets and been exchanged.

“We’ll never know,” Desa quipped. “It’s something we have to move on from. But we don’t have to do it alone.”