#⭐ } Jan's Guardians

[thexam-union]

The fun facts so far have been very island-centric, haven’t they? Well, let’s do a bit of a deep dive into whatever the hell Alphard’s up to on a regular basis, because it definitely isn’t the job they’re meant to do. While we’re at it, let’s also take a look at their partner in shenanigans, Kalis!

So for one thing, they absolutely ignore all of the whole “ninjas vs whoever” conflict. Not because they don’t care - that’s true but not the main reason - but more because them being involved is a very bad sign for everyone involved. They’re seen as the local panic button, after all. Doesn’t mean they never get called in, but it does mean that being out of the picture means that they can work on problems in very subtle ways. Not to claim credit for the everything - first off, they do not want it - but sometimes the snake crews just need a little push to get in the right direction.

Speaking of the snake crews, they’re actually very close to Kalis. Does that sometimes cause problems, sure. But they both do not like being anywhere near the “frat boys” on a regular basis. However, getting doused in the dark matter a while ago means they can just leave. Hit the bricks. Being a Keeper can be something that is so weird, health-wise. Dofida finds it interesting, at the very least, and used to call them in for health checks while they were simmering down.

Apparently they’ve been a lot more out of it but considering the fact that they A - haven’t aged in all that time and B - are just more vocal about Problems, it’s not really a change. Plus, whatever they’re up to off the clock isn’t anyone else’s business. Certainly not the “frat boys”. “Oh look at them they’re so evil” no, they just have one (1) friend that doesn’t make them want to bash their head in with a brick.

They tend to embody this dasharez0ne image:

And on that point, Kalis does tend to come with them because the other snakes don’t want to listen to them despite having good advice, but they’re completely okay with this. You know, because devouring the world means that there won’t be a world to live on anymore? And they kind of like having a place to live thank you for asking?

But that means no one misses them when they’re not at work, so they’d take it every single time. Besides, not being hurt on the job is also a very nice not-job perk, especially when dossing off with a friend has all the benefits, including exploring and going to other Sectors. Hell yeah! Also, if they’re just feeling like taking a nap when Alphard’s out delivering packages at Aquila, they just like resting in one of the snake perches in the trees and vibing with Lesath.

But yeah, here’s Kalis and Alphard!! <3

Do not separate them!!!