#⤷ elizabeth / characterization.

[hearts401]

A Shitty Brother Kinda Christmas

(7,441 words)

Evan invites Michael over for Christmas after not speaking to him for over two years now. Shenanigans ensue

Michael was cold.

He was also annoyed and bored and excited and the slightest bit nervous.

But right now, he was just cold.

He was sitting out in the middle of nowhere waiting for a bus that had either already come or was nearly a half an hour late.

He was praying it was the latter.

It didn’t help that he’d had literally no time to prepare. Evan had called him at six in the morning and he’d had to rush to find a gift and means for transportation and it didn’t help that everything was closed for Christmas. So he’d thrown on the only coat he had and went for the first bus he could catch. Now he was stuck out in the snow waiting for a bus that might not even arrive.

But some things were worth getting hypothermia for.

Unfortunately for Michael, this was not feeling like one of those things. But it was a second chance, and he’s fucked up too much to give up on a second chance. Frankly, when Evan had asked for his number, he’d already expected not to hear from him ever again, and he’d made peace with that. As much peace as he could at least. It wasn’t something he thought about a lot, and he doubted Evan thought about it much either.

But today his head’s been full of it, as unpleasant as that is.

When the bus finally pulled up, the driver assured him that the snow was what caused the delay, and apologized profusely. Michael didn’t care, he was just glad it came at all.

The bus was almost entirely empty, which made his life a lot easier. He clicked on his phone, not that there was anything to look at. It was Christmas, after all.

When Evan had invited him, he’d known it would be disappointing to Jeremy; He always looked forward to Christmas, but he promised they’d have their own little Christmas when he got back, but this was the first time he’d spoken to Evan in… Forever. His little brother had a house for god’s sake! A house! And he lived with his friend! That friend who’d punched Michael, the friend who always let Evan stay over his house, the friend he’d totally definitely not gotten into a fist fight with more than once all because of his own stubborn attitude.

So yeah, Michael was a jerk. But in his defense, Gregory was stubborn too.

His phone pinged and he picked it up. It was Evan again. Geez, why did he keep calling? Michael had already agreed, he didn’t want to talk to him right now, not yet.

But he can’t keep putting it off, and he doesn’t wanna seem like he’s avoiding Evan. (Even though he is, technically.)

“Hello? Hello, hello?” He said, “What’s up?”

“It’s me.” Evan said, “Just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay? I’m really sorry it’s such short notice.”

“It’s whatever.” Michael replied, “The bus was late though.”

“It’s Christmas, that’s expected.” Evan replied.

This was weird. Not a bad weird, but not a good weird either.

“Yeah.” Is all he said, “Uhm, is there anything else you need? The service here is ass.”

“Uh, no, I was calling to tell you if the bus hadn’t come to just forget it because I didn’t want you to keep waiting. It’s cold outside.”

“No shit.” He said with a dry laugh, “I’m gonna go now. Bad service, you know how it is.”

“Oh? O-Okay, yeah, bye.” Evan said.

“Bye.” Michael said before hanging up and sitting back against the seat.

“Shitty service?” He mumbled to himself, “Idiot.”

“Well, that sucked.” Elizabeth said. She was hanging decorations she’d brought since their house wasn’t “Christmas ready” in her words.

“He’s probably just tired.” Charlie said, “I’m sure he’s happy you invited him.”

“Well maybe the invitation isn’t what’s got him in the dumps and maybe it’s more the timing?” Elizabeth said.

Evan shrunk back, “I really didn’t notice how close it was getting to Christmas, I just… I couldn’t decide if I wanted to invite him…”

Elizabeth shrugged, “Fair, I guess. I usually invite him over but he spends his Christmas with his friends a lot.”

“His friends?” Charlie asked, “Jeremy?”

“And those other kids from middle school.”

Evan scrunched up his nose, “He still hangs out with those guys?”

“Yeah?” Elizabeth climbs down the small step ladder she was on, “They’re his friends.”

Evan huffs, “Yeah, I know.” He mutters.

Charlie offers a small smile at him, nudging him, “He’s not bringing any of them, it’s just him, Ev.” She says, “I’m sure everything will be okay.”

He nods slowly, “Yeah, yeah I guess.”

“Hey, Evan?” Gregory calls from the other room where he’s helping Sammy set up for dinner.

“O-oh, yeah?”

“Why does Michael do that weird ‘hello? Hello, hello?’ thing?”

Evan blinked, “I… I don’t know, actually.”

“Oh my god he does that all the time I don’t think he even realizes it!” Elizabeth said, “It drives me insane!”

Charlie laughed, “Yeah, Sammy says he does it every time he calls him.”

“He does!” Sammy said, “Every time. I asked him about it once and he was just as confused as me! He just does it. It’s like an instinct.”

Gregory laughed too, “That is funny as hell I’m never letting him live that down.”

“Oh, speaking of living things down,” Evan hopped off his bed and headed to the kitchen, “You’re gonna be on your best behavior. If you and him fight, I’m sticking you both outside.”

“If you put me outside with him I’ll bury him alive in the snow.” Gregory said.

“I’m serious.” Evan said, “I don’t want you fighting with him.”

It’s not that Evan didn’t appreciate Gregory standing up for him, but it was stressful. He didn’t want his friend hurt for him, and he certainly didn’t want to spend Christmas breaking up his brother and his best friend.

Gregory looked over at Evan, “Yeah, of course.” He said, “No fighting.”

“And that means no punching, kicking, swearing, snapping, pushing, shoving-”

“Okay, okay, okay, no fighting.” Gregory said, “But he needs to back off sometimes, I’m gonna let him know.”

“I can let him know.” Evan said, “We’re going to have a nice Christmas like a family!”

They all turned to look at him.

“We’re going to have a nice Christmas like a… decent dysfunctional patchwork family…” He rephrased, “I-I guess.”

Gregory laughed at that, “It’ll be fun, I’m sure.”

“I wish you could’ve invited Nessa,” Evan said, “I’m sure she’d have loved to meet Mike.”

When Michael finally arrived, he was met with the entire house laughing at him. Even Evan couldn’t hide his amusement at seeing his brother pull up to his house soaking wet and shaking like a leaf.

“You look great.” Sammy said.

“Piss off.” Michael muttered.

“Come inside, you look like you’re gonna freeze to death.” Charlie said.

“I feel like it too.” Michael muttered.

They brought him inside and Evan found himself suddenly regretting every decision that led up to this.

He felt sick, and he realized with a shock that there was a reason he had avoided Michael. He didn’t know what to say to him, what to do with him, or what to talk about. What do you say to your big brother who you ghosted for nearly two years after getting his number? What do you say to the person who ruined your life? What do you say to the person who treated you like shit and almost killed you and only formally apologized a couple years ago?

Gregory must have noticed because he discreetly led Evan back to his room and sat down with him.

“Not ready?” He asked.

“Not at all.” He said, flopping onto his back.

“What is it?” Gregory asked, laying down beside him.

“I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to him in forever and I was cool with that but then we did talk again and then we split up again and I just… How can I never speak to him again after that? How can I not give him at least a chance to be better? But at the same time… I don’t want to talk about The Thing, and I don’t want to bring it up but I can’t move on if I don’t and I feel sick thinking about it because what if it goes wrong? What if I fuck it up? What if he fucks it up? What if all this bullshit was for nothing this whole time and I’m just gonna end up hating him more than I already do?”

Gregory listens intently, staring at Evan, “You know, I told you not to invite him.”

“I know but-”

He continues speaking, interrupting Evan, “But! You insisted. Why?”

“Because I want to give him another shot.” Evan said.

“And he came because…” Gregory raises his eyebrows expectantly.

“Because he wants to take that shot.” Evan said, slowly understanding.

“So, you want to give him a chance? You don’t have you, you don’t owe anything to him, especially forgiveness. Do you wanna cut this short? Nobody would blame you if you did. I sure as hell wouldn’t.”

Evan sits up, “I guess.”

Gregory smiles, “Why don’t you take some time, dinner’s not done yet. Nobody’s rushing you, and I’m sure Michael is just as nervous. The only difference is that he deserves it.”

Evan laughs a bit at that, “Be nice.” He said.

“No promises!” Gregory called as he walked out of the room.

Frankly, Gregory was right. Michael was just as nervous. In fact, he wanted to curl up in a ball and sink into a hole and die right about now. He didn’t know where to sit so he ended up standing awkwardly off to the side.

Unfortunately for him, Sammy was quick to act like he owned the place. Gregory and him were like siblings, to be fair.

“Come on Mike, sit down.” Sammy said, “What’s wrong, are you nervous?”

“No. Not at all.” He muttered, “I just prefer standing.”

“Yeah, well, you look out of place with the Christmas decorations and I need to take photos so unless you wanna be my santa clause, I suggest you move.” Elizabeth said.

“You're as blunt as ever.” He muttered.

“Thanks, I try my best.” She replied with a grin.

He sat down next to Sammy, pulling out his phone, only to have Charlie grab it away from him, ignoring the indignant noise he made.

“Aw, Jeremy? Are you guys dating yet?” She teased.

“Wha- no! Give that back!” He lunged, reaching for it, but she snatched it away too quickly.

“Come on, Mike, you’ve gotta have something interesting in your life, how’s my dad?”

“Uncle Henry’s doing fine.” He answered as he continued to chase her around, “Give it back Charlie!”

“What pictures do you have? Aw, is that your dog?” Charlie pulled up a picture.

“No, it’s Jeremy’s! Now give it back!”

“What’s its name?” She asked.

Michael looked over at Elizabeth and exaggeratedly gestured at Charlie, but she just laughed at him.

“She missed messing with you, this is your own fault.” She said.

“She’s right, messing with Evan isn’t as fun. He doesn’t get mad like you do.” Charlie said.

Michael scowled at her, but he couldn’t deny that it made him feel a lot better though. 

When Gregory and Evan returned, Michael offered a smile and a small wave at Evan, that his brother slowly returned.

Evan was pale, but Michael didn’t mention it; He probably was too. Although that could just be from sitting out in the snow for half an hour.

He was still a bit upset about that.

Elizabeth invited him to sit beside her, which ended up sticking him right beside Evan, who had Gregory on his other side, who had Sammy next to him, and then Charlie beside him, and then it came full circle back to Elizabeth.

Great, cool, cool cool cool cool cool. This could go one of two ways:

One, it goes horrible and awful and everything that could go wrong does go wrong.

Or two, it goes fine and Michael’s overreacting.

But he could tell Evan was uncomfortable, and the tension was uncomfortable for him as well.

He took a breath before standing abruptly, “Actually, I ate at home and I could totally just grab a hotel or something so I’m gonna-”

“You’re not leaving.” Evan said.

Michael turned to him, “I’m sorry what?”

Evan shrunk back, “I-I just mean- you can stay here. Uhm… Unless you really don’t want to which is fine but you know you should stay here with us because it’ll make it easier and honestly who sleeps in a hotel on Christmas Eve I mean-”

“Okay! Okay. That- we can do that, that’s fine.” Michael said. He sat back down slowly, staring hard at his plate.

“And I can tell you didn’t eat at home.” Evan said, “I don’t like that you’re lying to me.”

Michael doesn’t reply to that, shrugging.

Evan’s eyebrows furrow, but he doesn’t say anything else. Gregory leans in next to him and whispers something, though.

So it went bad. Not awful, but bad. Michael didn’t eat much, but the food was good. Henry knew how to cook, and it seemed like he’d taught the twins how to cook as well.

Elizabeth leans back in her chair, “So, now that we’ve invited Michael, who wants to send a call to dear old dad? I have his number.”

Evan groans, “Not again with this…”

“Please, please Evan it would be so funny please.” Gregory shot up in his chair, “Please you didn’t let me do it to Michael let me do it to your dad.”

“Do what to Michael?” Michael asked.

“They wanted me to prank call you guys and send you random shit. Gregory, my dad will find and kill us all. I hope you know that.”

Prank call his dad? Prank call the William Afton?

“No wait I like this idea, Ev, we should do it one hundred percent.” Michael said.

“See? He agrees.” Elizabeth said.

Evan rolled his eyes, “You guys are the worst.”

“We’re the best actually.” Charlie said, “And it’s uhhhh… five against one.”

Evan sighed, “Do what you want. I need to set up our room anyway.”

Charlie cheered.

“I actually think I’m still in his contacts.” Michael said, “He keeps texting me, I don’t read 'em though.” He didn’t tell them that he repeatedly hesitated and refused to block his dad for a reason he himself couldn’t fathom. But to be fair, Lizzie hadn’t blocked him either. In fact, she still messaged him back sometimes. Even if the conversations weren’t friendly, he couldn’t imagine talking to his dad ever again, he didn’t know how she did it. 

“And we don’t wanna start today, let’s use Charlie’s phone.” Sammy said.

They spent the night sending random images to William until he blocked them, and then they went on to relentlessly call Jeremy, who had apparently been asleep, before they went on to call Gregory, and stayed on call with him while he and Evan set up.

It was weird how normal this was. It was weird how quickly it had become just spending Christmas together instead of unloading 15 years of bullying and 21 years of loathing.

But then again, they were the Afton family, pretending to be normal was their whole thing. They did it for the first eighteen years of Michael’s life.

But he could sit back and enjoy this before the incredibly uncomfortable conversation that was inevitable. If him and Evan would quit avoiding it.

Gregory then came in to let them know the room was ready.

Sitting down in Evan’s house was one thing. Sleeping in it was a whole other thing. He felt like a teen again, when his dad was in the hospital for one of his springlock accidents and Michael had to stay with Henry while he was gone. That had sucked. His dad hadn’t wanted to bring him over Henry’s house, so he hardly knew Charlie and Sammy, and because of that he’d felt so out of place in their house. Not to mention his siblings were there, and by then he was sick to death of them.

Thinking back on it, he did have a lot of issues as a kid. Maybe he still had them. Who was he to dwell on it, though.

Michael Afton has issues, like that’s news.

This time he made a point to sit beside Elizabeth. She wasn’t the best choice, but she was the only one who still messaged him. Despite how she acted, she always wanted a family. But she got the Aftons, which is more like a classification than a family.

She gave him a disappointed look, but he ignored it.

The decorations in the room were really cool. They had lights strung up on the walls and they’d put up blankets to hang over them, as well as covering up the window. The floor was layered with blankets and pillows, and Michael noticed it looked like a nest.

He had taught Evan how to make nest-like pillow forts when he was only four. Michael had been seven, and hadn’t even been good at teaching, but Evan had really enjoyed it. Michael hadn’t enjoyed teaching him, but it kept the kid quiet and that’s all he’d needed. But this fort was obviously not a product of his teaching, since it was unlikely Evan remembered that.

Weird that he’d remember that. It felt like a karmic “fuck you” from the universe.

Evan was really enjoying this. He didn’t feel as anxious anymore, and it felt almost normal. He had been preoccupied with everything else to think about The Thing and it made him feel a lot better about it. He was also proud of the pillow fort, which Gregory had helped with a lot. They’d had it planned for a while, and he was glad it turned out so well.

Good food, good bed, good friends, and so far no issues with Michael. None that he wanted to talk about yet, at least.

This was a good day! A great day! And hopefully a great Christmas day would follow!

He was quick to pull his friends into it and talk to them about it. He loved how cozy it looked. Like a shiny little nest. It was awesome and he loved it so much.

“Wait. Wait! I need my camera!” He went out to the kitchen, “Gregory? Do you know where I put my camera?”

“I put it in the end table drawer! The bottom one, next to the couch!” Gregory called back.

“Awesome. Thank you!” He grabbed it and ran back into the room, “Mike get in the back you’re the tallest, Gregory and Charlie, I need you guys up front. Elizabeth, get closer to Mike, come on. Sammy, you’re perfect there don’t move. It’s on a ten second timer so hold that for a moment!”

He ran over to them, positioning himself beside Michael and behind Gregory.

He went to grab his camera when it was done, smiling at the picture, “It looks awesome, I can’t wait to print it.” He said.

The others crowded over to see.

“You’re pretty good at sitting still and looking pretty.” Charlie teased Michael, “It’s your one redeeming quality.”

Michael shoved her face away with his hand, “Oh piss off.”

“He said the thing again!” Sammy cheered, “He said it earlier too. I feel like I’m in England every time I talk to him.”

“Did I tell you guys about that time Evan screamed ‘you cunt’ at the top of his lungs?” Gregory said.

“No! No! You promised you wouldn’t tell them about that!” Evan wails, grabbing Gregory’s arm.

“He was playing a racing game or something and he just lost big time. Huge time. Horribly. Awful. It was embarrassing.”

“Gregory!”

“And he just shouted at the top of his lungs. In the most British I’ve ever heard him, it was insane.” Gregory continues, “He had to apologize to our neighbors. It was hilarious.”

Evan covered his face, “It was awful, I felt so bad.” He groaned.

Michael chuckled, “That’s funny, Lizzie was always the one who used British slang. She got it from our father.”

Elizabeth shoved him playfully, “Okay Mr. I-Say-Bloody-Hell-And-Piss-Off-Every-Five-Seconds.”

“Pi- leave me alone!” Michael said indignantly.

“He almost said it again!” Charlie said, laughing.

“Jeez, you people are impossible.” He said.

At that moment, his phone rang. “Oh, shit, it’s Jeremy. I’ll be right back!”

Evan watched Michael leave, his head tilted slightly to the side.

Gregory nudged him, “Feel better?”

“A bit… Thanks.” He answered.

Gregory smiled, “I told you it’d be okay.”

Evan nodded, “I’m stressing out a bit still but I do feel better. Maybe I was just overreacting.”

“Mike is being super weird though.” Elizabeth said, “He’s not usually like this with his friends.”

“Well duh,” Charlie said, “he’s overthinking just as much as Evan is. He’s just shit at hiding it because he’s not a ball of fear and sadness the way Evan is.”

Evan frowned, “Well I wish he’d just act normal. I don’t like that he keeps lying to me. He makes everything harder than it has to be.”

Charlie hummed, “He’s just scared. Like a little animal in the woods.”

Evan couldn’t stop his sudden and loud laughter at that.

But he did feel angry. He wasn’t going to say it, he wasn’t sure he was ready to say it, but he felt it. Michael wasn’t even trying.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom real quick.” He told Gregory.

Michael knew the call wasn’t Jeremy. He also knew it would end long before he wanted it to. It’d been one of his friends from middle school, and they had hung up several minutes ago. But he liked the silence while it lasted.

“So, you’re avoiding me?” Evan asked from directly beside him. 

Michael jumped with a shout, nearly falling off the couch.

“Jesus Christ, Evan!” He gasped, “Don’t do that!”

Evan didn’t react, “Whatcha doin’?”

“Sitting�� on the couch?”

Evan’s eyebrows furrowed. He looked like Dad when he did that.

“No, actually,” he said, “you’re being a bum. Alone on Christmas? Come on, we’re heading to bed now.”

Michael nodded, “Yeah, okay.”

They spent the night doing random things. Charlie told some scary stories, they watched a movie, Michael showed them his playing card collection and Evan beat Gregory at war at least ten times, and Elizabeth got a whole console out and they played a few different games.

Of course, the tension did not leave. Everytime he accidentally bumped into Evan or one of them said something a little too… Iffy… it only got thicker.

When he looked over at his little brother, he noticed he was asleep. Him and everyone else.

Well, except for one.

“Can’t sleep?” Gregory asked.

Michael shrugged, “Who can sleep on Christmas Eve?”

Gregory eyed the others, “Them, apparently.”

Michael chuckled, “Yeah, I guess so.” He said.

They fell silent, and Michael laid down on his back, staring at the blankets hung above him.

“You know I don’t want you here, right?”

“Yeah. I know.”

“But he does. Don’t ruin that for him. Or Elizabeth. She said she’s been trying to get you to come over for Christmas.”

Michael stares at him, “I don’t talk to her a lot, I thought she was just being nice.”

“She was.” Gregory said, “I don’t doubt she was. But she still likes talking to you. I don’t know, don’t you think maybe she actually cared if she asked every year?”

Michael scoffed, “I told her every year that I spend my Christmas with Jeremy. Or Henry.”

“Speaking of Henry, what’s he doing for Christmas if Charlie and Sammy aren’t there?”

Gregory sat up, “Charlie said He remarried or something.”

“Really?” Michael said, “That’s… He didn’t tell me that…”

“I might be wrong but that’s what I heard.”

 “Hm.”

Gregory looked over at him, “You’re kind of a loser, you know that?”

Michael stared at him for a moment before he burst out laughing.

Gregory shushed him, “You’re gonna wake them up, shut your mouth!” He hissed.

Michael flopped over on his back, still laughing, though he tried to keep quiet, “You are incredibly blunt.”

“Well, to be fair, I don’t particularly like you very much,” Gregory said.

“I can tell.”

When Gregory heard him go quiet, he glanced over his shoulder.

“Lightweight.”

Evan woke up with a pillow being chucked at his face the moment he sat up.

So he stayed down.

But he could hear Charlie and Michael laughing.

Michael sounded like he’d been doing this for a while, and Charlie kept squealing. The noise was quickly giving him a headache, but it made him feel better about the day, and that’s all he needed anyways.

The day?

Holy shit it’s Christmas.

Evan bolted upright, “It’s Christmas.”

Gregory laughed, “Yeah, it is.”

Elizabeth threw herself on Evan and pulled him into a hug, “Morning sleepyhead!” She said, “You’re the last one to wake up.”

“We’ve been waiting forever.” Sammy groaned, “So I started chucking pillows at you and seeing if you’d wake up.”

“I told him not to.” Gregory said.

Evan smiled, “You guys are amusing. Has anyone made breakfast?”

Charlie points at Michael, “I told him to.”

Michael pushes her finger away from his face, “And I told her that I have not cooked something edible since I was 15.”

Elizabeth shuddered, “That lasagna was not edible.”

“Har har har.” Michael muttered, “at least I tried.”

Charlie sat up, “Me and Sammy made dinner, it’s someone else’s turn.”

“I vote Greg does it.” Sammy said.

“What? Why me?” Gregory whined, “I always do it!”

“I’ll make it.” Evan said.

“I’ll come help.” Elizabeth jumped to her feet.

She grabbed Michael’s arm, “I’ll show you what edible actually means.”

Charlie waved Michael goodbye with a smirk on her face as he scowled.

Evan took out the stupid cinnamon rolls in the weird circle can thingy? He didn’t know anything about them but they were good so who cares.

Michael frowned, “This is breakfast?”

“You look like you live off ramen noodles, shut up and enjoy Christmas dinner as it should be.” Evan said.

Michael blinked a few times.

“… You don’t… You don’t actually live off noodles, do you?”

“…”

So Evan learned several unpleasant things about Michael’s eating habits.

But so far, so good. He’d only felt soul crushing anxiety twice since Michael got here!

So… Good?

He wasn’t sure but it wasn’t bad so that had to mean something.

Despite joking around, Evan was a bit irritated. Michael was still being weird and it didn’t help that Elizabeth clearly didn’t understand the tension.

“You two are too quiet, come on, it’s Christmas.” She said, “Loosen up!”

“I’m just tired, Liz.” Evan said.

She flicked his forehead, earning a yelp from Evan.

“Well, don’t be, it’s Christmas!”

He didn’t like how much this reminded him of home. He didn’t like that this reminded him of his sister avoiding and ignoring his problems or his brother never listening to him.

They were all so different, but some things never change.

Unpleasantly, his mind drifted to his dad. But he pushed those thoughts away. He didn’t know why he always thought of his dad when he talked to his siblings.

“Evan, it’s done.” Elizabeth said, “Do you wanna frost it?”

Evan nodded, “While they’re still hot.”

She smiled at him, “Then we can open gifts? You’re gonna love what I got you, I promise.”

No, his siblings were nothing like his dad. No doubt they have pieces of him in them—No doubt Evan did too—But they were not him.

Maybe he could learn to live with those pieces. He’d done it with Elizabeth.

But it was just so much harder with Michael. Even now, when they were laughing and pretending to be okay, he felt dissatisfied. He wanted more than this, he wanted reassurance that his brother actually wanted to change and didn’t just feel bad. What if Michael was doing this for himself? To make himself feel less guilty? Less at fault?

As cruel as it sounded in his head, he found himself regretting giving Michael this chance. He didn’t deserve closure, not when it had taken Evan over a decade to get his own closure. He knew Michael was trying, but why did he get to decide when this change of heart came along? Why did he get to decide when this ended?

He settled in his seat beside Gregory, who was talking to Charlie and Sammy. Elizabeth was quietly talking to Michael, and Evan stayed quiet. He had things to think over. A lot.

When they finished, Charlie and Elizabeth practically dragged him to the tree.

Michael hung back, and Evan felt a twinge of… Something. Sadness? Anger? He didn’t know. But it was something.

Elizabeth insisted he opened hers first, so he did. It was a camera. Except it was yellow and had little bear ears and…

“It’s Fredbear!” He exclaimed, “It’s so cute! Oh my god, Lizzie, this must have taken forever!”

“Charlie helped with it,” She said.

He looked it over, “And it’s brand new… Smile!” He pointed it at Elizabeth and Charlie, snapping a photo quickly, “Oh my god, I love it, Liz.”

She grinned, “I knew you would.”

Gregory smiled at Evan, pushing a small box closer to him.

Evan unwrapped it slowly, before slamming it down and giving Gregory a playfully harsh look, “You did not.”

Gregory laughed, “I really did.”

He held up the sweater, “This is so dumb I’m gonna wear it for the rest of my life.”

The sweater was black with a skull on it, but it was sporadically decorated with random Christmas things. It looked so strange and out of place and he loved it.

Of course he got Gregory an equally ugly sweater, one with flowers on it, but the middle of the flower was replaced with Glamrock Freddy, one of the characters made for Fazbear Entertainment after his father had sold it off in response to the horror rumors about it.

Evan knew they weren’t true, but they still made his skin crawl sometimes.

Sammy bought him a crochet kit, with a bunch of colors for him and Gregory to mess with. He must have remembered Evan mentioning that he wanted to pick it up as a hobby.

They continued exchanging gifts, and Michael was quiet for the most part, as if he was dreading something, which Evan found amusing; of course he was nervous, he’d had one day to find thoughtful gifts for people he hardly spoke to.

Suddenly, just as Evan was going to stand, Michael tossed something to him, and he jumped in surprise.

“I didn’t know what to get you, to be honest. I, uhm, I hope this isn’t a shitty gift…” Michael said, “I also hope it doesn’t like… ruin your day… it’s a hit or miss, so I’m taking a shot.”

Evan blinks a few times, “Alright…”

He carefully unwraps the gift, gasping softly when he sees it fully.

The fur is worn, and the stitches are messy—the handiwork of his uncle, no doubt—and one of the ears has a hole in it, but there’s no mistaking it.

It was Fredbear.

The original plushie.

The one he hadn’t seen since he moved out of his dad’s house.

He’d had another, one that Gregory’s dad had made for him, but it’d never been quite the same. It also didn’t talk to him.

… Well maybe that was a good thing.

He didn’t take his eyes off it as he spoke softly, “Where… did you get this?” 

“Dad sent it to me since he didn’t have contact with you. He didn’t give me a chance to say I didn’t either. Henry patched it up and it’s just been collecting dust for the past few months.”

He stared at it. It reminded him of a lot of things. The animatronics on stage that terrified him, being bullied, his nightmares, his dad, The Thing, meeting Gregory, that day he broke his ankle, that time Mike almost hit him with his car his first time driving it, when he spent that first night with Gregory, and so many other things.

“Huh…” He said.

“Is it… a good gift…?”

“Yeah, yeah I missed him.” He said, “Thank you.”

Michael smiled.

Elizabeth stood up, “Well, that was sweet,” she said, “let’s get this picked up now.”

They all groaned, and Lizzie clicked her tongue, “Come on, guys, this isn’t our house, we can’t trash it and leave.”

So they picked up. It wasn’t hard, but at some point Charlie bumped into Elizabeth, who playfully pushed her away, and then that ended with the two of them wrestling each other to the ground. Sammy jumped in and for a moment Evan thought Gregory would too, but he didn’t.

So the two of them just continued cleaning while Charlie squealed. And he glanced over at Michael.

He was picking up alongside them, and Evan couldn’t stop himself from laughing a bit.

Michael frowned, “What? What am I doing?”

“Nothing, nothing, it’s just funny that you’re cleaning. We were lucky if Dad got you to pick up a sock, much less your room, much less Henry’s house.”

Michael scoffed, but didn’t say anything.

Thanks for participating in the conversation, I’m glad we’re talking. Evan thought sarcastically.

Gregory looked like he wanted to say something, but he bit his tongue when Evan gave him a look.

“No fighting, I know,” He muttered.

God this sucked a lot.

Michael didn’t know what to say. And he was annoyed that Evan would bring that up. He got so much shit from his dad for not picking up his room, but he could never bring himself to care. He’d hated that house, he’d hated his dad, he’d hated his siblings, and god he’d hated his little brother.

Not that he knew exactly why, though.

His thoughts were interrupted by Elizabeth grabbing his arm, “It snowed last night, do you guys still get snow over in Utah?”

“What? Of course we do!” He said, “Why wouldn’t we?”

“I don’t know, you seem so grumpy I thought you must have never experienced a good thing in your life.” She said.

Evan winced and Michael frowned, “I’m not grumpy.” He said.

“Sure, as if you haven’t been moping around. You know, if you were just going to sulk this whole time you shouldn’t have come,” Elizabeth crossed her arms, “Nobody forced you to come, but you’re acting like this is the worst place to be right now.”

“I’m just… nervous…” He said slowly.

“Nervous? About what? You came because you wanted to see us, didn’t you?” She challenged, “You’re just being dodgy today, I don’t know. You just nudged gifts to us and mumbled ‘thank you’ and hung back, why aren’t you at least trying to participate?”

“I am trying! I’m just not feeling it, okay? Why do you even care, you’re not the one who invited me!”

Elizabeth scoffed, “I invite you every year and every year you shut me down, but not Evan? Is this even about him? Because it feels like it’s about you!”

Michael stared at her, “I’m trying my best!”

“Avoiding us is your best!?”

He fell silent. One look at Evan and Gregory told him they had been thinking the same things.

Goddammit.

He really had been neglecting his sister, hadn’t he? It’s not that he meant to, it’s just that he didn’t know how to talk to her. Her life fell apart pretty quickly once their father’s parenting… declined… but even then she still reached out to their father. Whether she actually thought he could change or if she was just doing it for herself, though, he had no idea.

He was trying to settle these things one at a time! why did he have to fuck up with both his siblings?

“She’s not wrong.” Gregory said, “You’ve been weird lately, and it’d be much easier for everyone if you just… I don’t know… talked? You’re not getting anywhere sneaking around like a dog.”

Michael felt his anger spark at that, “I’m not sneaking around! And don’t call me a dog!”

Elizabeth clenched her fists, “Well if you were really here to make amends, you’d put some effort in, but instead this feels more like a shitty way of getting closure and making yourself feel better-”

Evan stepped forward then, “Okay, that’s enough!”

“-And maybe if you hadn’t almost killed Evan he wouldn’t hate you so much!”

The whole room fell silent.

Evan stared at her, “Elizabeth…”

“It’s true!” She said, “It’s true! He’s always done this! You just avoid us, you shut us out, like that will help, and then you come crawling back for forgiveness so you don’t feel like shit about it!”

“Elizabeth!” Evan shouted.

She turned to look at Evan, and they locked eyes for a moment. She sighed, “I’m going… To go to the gas station for a bit. Call me if you need me.”

Michael watched her go, silent. His gut was twisting and he felt sick.

He was a shitty brother all around, wasn’t he?

He couldn’t even get his sister to like him. Not that he’d tried very hard. Elizabeth made herself feel untouchable. She avoided her brothers because she didn’t want to be caught in the middle of whatever they were doing. She hadn’t been talking about Evan, not entirely. She was probably lonely, he realized.

He looked at Evan, “I didn’t… I’m… I’m sorry…”

Evan stared at him, “Do you want to talk about It? Now?”

Michael laughed, but it was dry and humorless, “No, but I’m willing to, if you want to.”

“We’ll leave you guys alone.” Charlie said, grabbing Gregory and Sammy and pulling them away.

“Liz is right, you’re not really proving anything other than the fact that you feel bad. Which is… It’s annoying.” Evan said, “I know you feel bad, I’ve known that since I got out of the hospital when I was ten, Mike. I don’t need to know you feel bad, I need to know you care and want to make an effort to change.”

“Well, I am trying I just-”

“Don’t know how?”

Michael looked up at him.

“...Yeah.” He said softly, “I don’t know what to do, I hardly know you guys anymore.”

Evan sat down beside him, “None of us do, it took Elizabeth years to even look at me, and even longer for us to finally start actually talking. There’s a lot of things we can’t fix. Elizabeth will always be blunt, that will never change. It’s something she got from Dad. She can’t help that, but she can make it better.” He looked up at Michael, “And I think you can, too. If you just talk to me, but you won’t. And that’s making it hard. I don’t want to push you or bother you but I really really need to just… understand this.”

“So… About The Thing…”

“Yeah, The Thing. Me almost dying, you putting my head into heavy machinery? That Thing?”

“Yeah.”

“I… I still have the scar, you know? It healed over pretty well though, head wounds do that. But I still dream of it, you know. Do you have nightmares?”

“Of seeing my little brother’s head get crushed like a grape? Yeah,” He took a deep breath, “Hard to forget that when I spent at least five minutes staring at it.”

Evan stares at the floor, “... I don’t even remember when it happened. I didn’t feel it at all. Not until I woke up, at least.”

He takes a deep breath, “I… Can I just ask you why?”

“What?”

“Why did you do all that? Why did you treat me like that?”

Michael fell silent. He never talked about the why. It’s not that he didn’t know. He knew. He had known since he started, since he watched his brother’s skull get crunched in front of him.

“I thought it was funny,” He said, “I didn’t like that Dad did all that shit to me. He obviously enjoyed it, and I enjoyed doing it to you. Some kind of fucked up stress relief, I guess.”

Evan stares at him, looking hurt, “That’s brutally honest.”

“You said you didn’t want me to lie to you.”

Evan nodded, “Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a bit, before Evan spoke.

“I don’t know if I want to forgive you or not,” He said, “It’s not that… It’s not that I don’t think you’ve changed but… I still have nightmares. I still remember these things that happened to me and they… they suck. But sometimes I feel like a jerk because I know you’re trying and I know you don’t get why this is so hard for me but… But I really hate you. I hate that you are here for closure, I hate that you are here at all. But I invited you.”

“I think I do get it.” Michael said.

“Hm?”

“I… I haven’t blocked Dad yet, did you know that?”

“Really? I blocked him the day I moved out.” Evan said.

“I keep not wanting to. I keep thinking, ‘what if something happens? What if I need to talk to him?’ even though I know that’ll probably never happen.”

“So I guess I can get where you’re coming from. In a weird twisted way, you know? I don’t know how to cut him off, but I don’t know how to talk to him. It’s like there’s a door open in front of me and I’m too scared to walk through it but what if I close it and it locks? What if there was something good in there?”

Evan doesn’t take his eyes off Michael, before he says, “Give me your phone.”

Michael blinks at him, tilting his head, but he slowly hands Evan his phone, “What’re you doing?”

“Blocking Dad.”

“What!? Did you not hear anything I just said?” He reached for his phone, but Evan was quicker and pulled away from him.

“There’s nothing behind that door, Michael.” He says, startling Michael with his intensity, “Nothing that you want or need. You left that room forever ago and you deserve to stay out of it for the rest of your life. You and Liz.”

Michael watched him and his hand dropped back to his side.

Maybe Evan was right. Maybe there was nothing behind that door. Maybe he was just wishing there had been something in that room. It’s like he was closing and opening it in hopes for something new.

“...Thanks.”

“Always available for cutting off shitty family members. I’m incredibly good at it.”

Michael laughed, “... Yeah… you are.”

Evan stood up, “I think that’s enough for now, I don’t know if I forgive you, honestly.”

Michael shrugs, “Eh, that’s not the most of my worries,” He says, “I guess this was something of a test run?”

“If it was, I think it turned out okay.”

When Elizabeth got back, Michael took her aside to talk to her. Evan didn’t listen in, but he knew what they were talking about, and he did indeed see them hug tightly. It wasn’t Evan’s business. He left it alone.

So things weren’t fixed. But they were better. They had wrapped old wounds. Nothing was healed, but they weren’t bleeding anymore, and that was good.

The rest of the day was fun. Elizabeth insisted Michael stayed, but he had to go home eventually, and there was a mutual understanding that he needed some time alone after all that. It was overwhelming, and Evan was definitely done with seeing his family for a bit. They weren’t friends, but it was something.

He watched Michael walk outside, where Jeremy had come to pick him up.

“Hey, Mike?” He called.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for coming.”

Michael smiled at him, “Thanks for letting me.”

Not forgiveness, and in the end he would always prefer the family he’d made for himself, but otherwise this went well.

That being said, he was never inviting that many people over for Christmas again. He should’ve gotten them together for Thanksgiving instead.

Gregory pulled Evan back inside, ��Dude, it’s freezing, come inside.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Gregory looked inside, “This place is a mess. What happened to ‘we can’t make a mess and leave it’?”

Evan laughed.

[horizon-verizon]

Aegon III and Jaehaera “healing together” would be like:

Jaehaera: I miss my father.

Aegon III, having a PTSD trigger: Well, I miss my mother! AND YOU KNOW WHO GRUESOMELY KILLED MY MOTHER WHILE I WAS WATCHING ?!

Jaehaera: And I miss my twin brother! AND YOU KNOW WHO SEND THE MEN WHO BEHEADED HIM IN FRONT OF ME & MY MOM ?!

Aegon III: Nothing would have happened if your grandmother didn’t usurped my mother and your uncle didn’t ruthlessly murdered my brother.

Their marriage would have been SOOO INCREDIBLY UGLY, BITTER, MISERABLE AND HOPELESS. That union never stood a chance. Aegon III spent about 3 years married to her and never made any attempt to befriend her and had more interactions with Unwin Peake’s daughter than her. They wouldn’t have any children, he’d abdicate in favor of Viserys if he didn’t marry Daenaera and then locked himself in a tower.

Yeah, I agree. I understand that the real English War of the Roses that war/sub-battles ended with a happier and successful marriage between the two warring houses of York and Lancaster so it seems that Aegon III and Jaehaera could have also had a great marriage--or at least a civil one with a lot of kids/heirs. However, though yes we had the structure of "one child of the two warring families marry for peace" of the War of Roses, the Dance was modeled and takes inspiration from the Anarchy, where Empress Matilda fought against her male cousin, Stephen of Blois, for the English throne. Where the conflict was strictly about who deserves the throne: the female declared heir or the eldest male relative? And who will obtain it, who fights for them, who suffers, etc.

Plus Henry VII of the Plantagenet branch of Tudor (through Jon of Gaunt) & Elizabeth of the house of York--the people who married each other while from the opposing houses after the Battle of Bosworth Field--were both relatively healthy adults AND Henry actually won the throne through his own leadership in battle after killing Richard II (her paternal uncle). The same uncle whose mainly held responsible for Elizabeth's younger brothers' disappearances. So Henry & Elizabeth had a way better beginning than Aegon III & Jaehaera.

Even with the Anarchy, GRRM doesn't transfer all of the events or major ones/results into his fiction. The conclusion of the anarchy was still a woman being passed over: Stephen won and got to rule but Empress Matilda's son--Henry Plantagenet-- was designated as the next to rule in the Treaty of Wallingford. But she wasn't brutally murdered in front of said son like Rhaenyra; yet despite Stephen's efforts his own sons never sat the throne like Aegon; yet the war ravaged England as the Dance did Westeros enough that in both the lords/barons sought peace above all AND Matilda lost the throne.

GRRM seemed to want to capture the sense of futility of the war's destruction (not its cause though, not absolutely) with how it should have never happened to begin with from a place of usurping a woman. There was no happy-dappy marriage or even an attempt at one in the real thing.

Jaehaera was made totally disadvantaged for a reason:

a) making her and Aegon both children in the aftermath of the war, controlled by ambitious adults still who do not have their best interests at heart makes to highlight theie vulnerability and the cause being misogyny and classism leading those in power to declare such wars

b) their parents fighting and destroying each other to the bitter end instead of what occurred in the actual Anarchy

c) the greens pushed for war under the principle of "men only" at the cost of its female members' mental and physical health or putting those in danger (mainly Helaena and Jaehaera) for the sake of power. Jaehaera could have grown up happier and for longer if her own father hadn't decided to calm down and not try to go after several of Rhaenyra's supporters in the way that he was planning to, nor should he have usurped his older sister. He shouldn't have celebrated Lucerys' murder at the feast he threw that was almost certainly part of the inspiration for Blood & Cheese whereby his oldest male heir was killed. His other male heir was put into danger when he, again, usurped Rhaenyra and led armies against her when she had been already declared and ACCEPTED as Viserys heir for years. All he had left was his daughter, but bc the whole point of his claim was "males only" AND he was himself an asshole, he decided to marry again to get another male heir. It was also Alicent who tried to intimidate or persuade her granddaughter to kill Aegon as if the child wasn't already scarred from war and mentally fragile from her disabilities so that she, Alicent, could get revenge against the already dead Rhaenyra. The greens, not the blacks or Rhaenyra, are the main ones at fault for Jaehaera's demise--her death is on their hands since every which way, they chose power over her.

[mikimeiko]

My Lady Jane | Season 1 (2024), Gemma Burgess

[anghraine]

firawren replied to this post:

I mean I basically did vote most annoying crossed with most prevalent. But I also always argue that misreading Darcy's character hurts Elizabeth's character just as much, because while she is very wrong about him, she's not "needlessly mean to a poor little shy/autistic man" wrong.

I'm just going to be very straightforward with this one. I didn't reply because a) I had an important project due and had only slept for three hours, and relatedly, b) I wanted to make sure this response seemed as insulting on nine hours of sleep as it had on three.

I've now gotten a full night's sleep and yes, this comment still strikes me as deeply offensive, both in itself and in the specific context of a conversation in which nobody was talking about autism anyway. I drafted a fairly long explanation of why I found it so offensive, but I suspect it's rather tedious, so here's a short version:

Shyness and autism can overlap, but are very different things that should not be conflated as you're doing here.

Telling an autistic person that headcanoning a character as autistic makes him into a "poor little man" is extremely gross.

The implication that, if Darcy were autistic, Elizabeth's overreactions to his very real faults would automatically become about him being autistic (indeed, a poor little autistic man!), as if autistic people definitionally cannot be moral agents capable of ethical missteps and cannot be criticized (fairly or unfairly) for other reasons than autism? Also really unpleasant.

The sleep was worth it, though, because it jogged my memory enough to make this also slightly funny. This all felt familiar and I remember now: you're the person who informed me on this post that "no one" was suggesting that Darcy having genuine social problems (from any origin) would prevent him from separately being flawed and arrogant.

The more things change, etc.

[crescentfool]

i've been doing a bunch of tartarus runs in reload lately, and it got me thinking about how i miss certain ways FES's clunky gameplay can characterize minato… (ramble about the great clock mechanic + leveling up party members in reload vs fes under the cut)

when i got to yabbashah block in tartarus (block 3), i remember commending the developers for adding the great clock mechanic. it's a much more convenient way to keep party members at the protagonist's level- so when you think about p3 from the perspective of trying to make it easier for people to play, the mechanic succeeds in this respect.

but now that i'm in adamah block, and that i've done lots of my once-a-month tartarus runs… i think that i got a little too dependent on it, and the way that i played through reload feels like a vastly different experience from how i played FES.

in reload, my party's levels are very lopsided. minato, yukari, akihiko, mitsuru, and fuuka are all level 90+, meanwhile junpei and aigis are at level 79, and then… poor ken and koromaru are at 71 and 64 respectively. (i never got to have a great clock for them…)

meanwhile, in FES, my party's levels were much more evenly distributed and were at least level 90. i did all of this manually for every monthly tartarus run because i enjoyed having options available for the taratarus guardians and monthly operations.

with how i perceive minato, i feel that the way i played FES feels more in-line with his character than me dawdling around waiting for the great clocks in reload.

FES's gameplay loop left me with the very strong impression that minato has to work twice as hard as everyone else in SEES does. it makes sense because, yeah, he's the leader, but something about having minato run through tartarus multiple times with different groups of people just to make sure that they are adequately prepared speaks volumes about his character, to me.

and while the tired mechanic is present in reload to some degree, most notably with allowing you to freely raise your courage stat when you visit edogawa after school… the tiredness system doesn't hit the same way that FES does, i think.

the way your party members in FES will call it quits when they return to the entrance floor at tartarus when they're tired, versus minato, in spite of all his tiredness and sickness, still pushes through tartarus because it's his responsibility…. idk!!! i miss that! i feel like this really hammers home the difference between minato and the rest of SEES, how minato doesn't really see himself as a human with needs worth respecting as long as he's useful to someone.

i don't think that tartarus being tedious (in FES especially) is not what most people would describe as fun, and i can respect people thinking it's a slog. but, regardless of how it feels to play, it doesn't change that FES's gameplay loop is a fundamental building block in how i perceive minato…

of course, i do recognize that you can just opt to NOT use the great clock in reload (and it's great when players are offered the choice to not partake in mechanics)! i definitely think that if someone really wanted to, they could manually level up party members, but i do feel that kind of playstyle isn't necessarily "incentivized" to the type of people who are into playing games for Having a Good Time. it's kind of like… "why would you do that when there's a much more convenient option available to you."

in any case! despite my woes, i do want to emphasize that i'm glad that reload has a much more smoother gameplay loop than the original P3 did, because it does make the game more accessible to people. having played both FES and reload, it feels very strongly apparent to me how the core gameplay formula of persona has really been refined in the past 18 years (to think og p3 was 2006 and reload is 2024.. time flies!). and reload has made revisiting a story that i love so dearly much, much easier because the gameplay just bops!

at the same time, due to my "i miss characterization informed by weird and dated FES gameplay quirks" woes, i still think that playing FES is worthwhile. (really, i feel this way about all iterations of p3! i think it's worthwhile to see what each version and side media has to say even if it doesn't Land™ for you.) but i also understand why people wouldn't want to play it, so i will keep writing posts about things i liked from FES's gameplay because i'm still very fond of FES (especially in respects to minato. these mechanics are so telling about him!!!) 💪

[raccoon-in-a-dumpster]

why do people hate elizabeth but like. love gregory.

gregory PURPOSEFULLY maimed SENTIENT BEINGS, people will be like "oh he's homeless and like. 12. 🥺" (which i get, i don't hate him either trust me)

but when Elizabeth ACCIDENTALLY scoops her brother's organs out and tries to make her FATHER proud by following in his footsteps, and barely being aware? cause she was locked in the fucking GROUND for WELLL over a decade? and her mind basically MELDED with the murder animatronic so she had NO IDEA WHAT WAS HAPPENING. AND SHE WAS LIKE. 6? ohhh people HATEEE HER.

i think that this is a point of hidden misogyny within the fandom (much like the Mabel outrage in Gravity Falls) and we really, REALLY need to talk about it more.

why does Gregory, a kid who is OLDER and has no outside pressure get a pass, but Elizabeth is condemned for less?

both are desperate children. in this essay i will-

[drinkinboilingcoffee]

Thinking again about the fact Elizabeth/CB’s eye color changed after she possessed her animatronic, but no one else did.

I like to think she replaced them herself. Like, they didn’t change, they were still blue when she took control of Circus Baby, but she stumbled upon a green pair in the storage room, and in a fit of longing, she ripped the blue pair out and tried to fit the new ones into the sockets.

Maybe it hurt. Maybe she couldn’t attach the new ones right at first, and she couldn’t even see through ‘her’ eyes until one of the technicians fixed them.

I wonder if it helped. When she finally saw her reflection through her own eyes, I wonder what she thought. Maybe it helped her hold onto herself through the days at the circus. Maybe it looked fake, and she was just disappointed.

Maybe she was horrified. Maybe all she saw were a part of her features plastered onto a body that wasn’t hers. Maybe she felt like a mockery of herself. Maybe she felt guilty for mutilating a body that wasn’t hers, that she still had memories from.

Maybe she tried to take them out again. This time they stopped her. She couldn’t take it back.

[wndaswife]

Ooh you're doing headcanons?? Earth 838 Wanda Maximoff please!

characterization headcanons: earth-838 wanda maximoff

allergies

not sure why but i feel like she's definitely allergic to shellfish and watermelon.

character flaws

has trouble saying no to anything, especially when her friends and coworkers pile a bunch of favours onto her; it’s always tommy and billy who remind her to value herself and her time more. 

cleaning habits

she’s a pretty lenient mother and isn’t one to force the twins to clean much, though granted they are a bit older now and are very responsible kids. she cleans pretty often on her own, but she’s not overly-fastidious about it at all.

cooking habits

i have a feeling she can make a really good stir fry… and that she loves adding potatoes and diced carrots to anything.

coping mechanisms

as a single mother to two kids, wanda puts an effort towards coping healthily and in turn being able to mother her children while also dealing with distressing situations. she bakes, goes for runs, and sees a therapist frequently to also talk through her experiences of her time with HYDRA, working with the avengers, and losing her brother and parents. 

dreams

often haunted by her experiences as HYDRA’s guinea pig, wanda sometimes has nightmares of the strucker experiments. she misses her brother dearly and although her life with HYDRA was nothing short of horrific, her dreams are always bittersweet as she always sees pietro’s face most vividly when she dreams of him. her dreams of her multiversal variants seem to her as lives she could have lived should she have remained an avenger, ranging from heroic to downright villainous as she also dreams of earth-616’s scarlet witch.

myer-briggs personality type

i don’t want be boring and say infp like 616-wanda, but i think she probably is also an infp even if i try to imagine something else.

enneagram personality type

9w1, maybe? i’m trying to be very creative and not put 4w5 like 616-wanda! i think she’s a very easygoing person with a habit of being a bit of a pushover, with strong feelings of right and wrong that makes her a very kind and strong-willed mother. might be prone to being a bystander despite a confident internal moral compass and strong opinions that she represses around those she does not know. in getting to know her, she’s a very sensitive and generous person.

fears

she’s very easy to scare. she worries about the boys’ safety, the possible fragility of her domestic life with them, and sometimes fears her magic is not enough to protect them, especially because it's been years since the last time she fought any kind of adversaries as she left her life as a superhero long ago. her own experiences with losing her family has made her very concerned with maintaining a close eye over both tommy and billy while also ensuring she has a very present and permanent role in their life.

friends

friends with neighbours and is cordial with the parents of tommy and billy’s classmates, though she wouldn’t say she’s very close with anyone. to some extent she has a bit of a lonely social life. though i see her befriending another single mother who’s just moved into town at some point and finding herself becoming very close with her. 

hobbies

she’s a big gardener, and has definitely been super into pinterest lately wherein she finds a bunch of DIY projects for her garden.

insecurities

her experiences as an avenger makes her feel different from the other mothers. the experiences she’s had can never be changed, and sometimes that makes her feel incapable of being the mother that her kids need. but it’s never a largely lingering insecurity because she also has a very close relationship with the twins and knows how much they love and need her.

lazy day

on school days, wanda will likely take the living room for herself, watch a few classic movies, or read a book. even on lazy days when she’s able to have time to herself, she always feels happy to have the twins back home after school. they’re around eleven now and have adopted her laid-back personality, and the day is always spent best when she can cuddle together while watching a movie after dinner.

mornings

on weekdays, wanda prepares tommy and billy’s lunches and wakes them up if they don’t on their own. she spends the mornings ensuring they get to school on time and that they’re eating enough breakfast. on weekends, they eat together before going off to do their own things at home. sometimes on weekends, the twins wake wanda for breakfast they made for her on their own.

music taste

classic movie soundtracks, top-forty song charts, and sometimes 90s R&B.

pets

the twins have a pet turtle named sparky. she was opposed to it when they first asked, but after a long while of their begging, wanda gave in after imagining it would be good for them to learn how to care for a pet.

scars

a few from her time as an avenger that she tries not to let bother her, though on rare days she feels a bit down from being so different from the other mothers she knows. 

secrets

there’s a cake the twins made for her months ago that they literally cannot stop bringing up because they feel so much pride in how much their mother loved it, but wanda honestly struggled with keeping it down and ate a whole slice just to make them happy. but she just agrees with them and subtly lets them know to have her help them the next time they bake a cake. and… she has a concealed box of vibrators and dildos in the very far back corner of the highest shelf in her closet — you know i’m right.

talents

she has never lost a game of cup pong. and she’s pretty hard to lie to, which the twins are convinced has to be some kind of talent because she has never used her magic on them unless they’ve asked her to.

tattoos

a small tattoo under her left breast along her ribs of a flower that she got done in college. at some point she regretted it and considered having it removed, but eventually came to the conclusion that it doesn’t look all too bad.

vacations

visited russia with the twins one summer, during which she taught them much about how similar some of its culture was with sokovia as she wouldn’t bring them to her home country with how unstable it still was. ever since visiting for a month two years ago, tommy and billy have steadily been learning sokovian.

[outlawssweetheart]

I can easily see Vanessa and William having an Aegon and Alicent "Do you love me?" moment, he would absolutely respond like that. 😒

(Michael never would've even cared to ask; he already knew the true answer. Meanwhile, Elizabeth believed wholeheartedly in her father's love for her.)

[therighthandofvengeance]

Photo Analysis 1/?

a few things: 1. how have I never seen this photo before? 2. do I need context? not really. 3. do I want said context? very much so. 

I’m going to count this as prologue to the analysis of John and Delenn’s body language with one another, but first I want to establish a bit on the photo at large. there’s so much going on! in this essay I will... 

General 

Okay so let’s start with the bicycle itself. A bicycle is a means of transportation. It’s an impetus for movement. Moving, going, transition- transition is a huge motif throughout the show. Think of the titles of the episodes: Points of Departure (s02e02),Point of No Return (s03e09), Objects in Motion (s05e20), Objects at Rest (s05e21). Now is also a good time to mention that it’s a tandem bicycle, built to be used by multiple people at a time, just like a certain space station that unlike its predecessors, hasn’t been sabotaged or dragged through time.  A bicycle like this would work best when everyone pedals 1. in the same direction and 2. operating at the same speed, AKA being on the same wavelength, as if they were an army of light. Another note on this bike is the horns. One, they’re bike horns, so there’s an increased enthusiastic vibe from it- mature enough to save the galaxy and youthful enough to trust that faith manages. Then, there’s the positioning of the horns. Let’s go down the line, shall we? G’Kar’s horn is upward towards Londo, Londo’s faces the camera, Garibaldi’s is up and outwards yet angled towards Londo, Lochley’s is parallel to the ground and facing Garibaldi, and Sheridan’s upward-facing horn is rendered inaccessible by Delenn’s proximity to it.  So: G’Kar and Garibaldi give Londo their attention because he easily draws it, and can be very annoying- thus his own horn faces the camera. Lochley’s horn is backwards, facing Garibaldi, because her attention is in facing her past, which parallels the alcoholism Garibaldi relapses with in the fifth season. Sheridan’s horn faces upwards (*wink wink*; *nudge nudge*). Finally, in regards to the bicycle, it’s a great color for a children’s hospital. It’s a color of confidence and vitality, a color of blood and impulse- but most of all, it’s a color of love. Love, of course, being essential to endurance. And to quote one Susan Ivanova, “Babylon 5 endures.”

G’Kar

He’s the only one with both of his feet on the ground, a direct opposite to Delenn, a notion compounded by the fact that they’re the only two not smiling with their teeth in the photo, and the furthest from one another. This could be interpreted as G’Kar is enamored with the idea of the death of the enemy race in the same manner Delenn was when she was the newest member of the Grey Council- something she tries to put behind her as much as possible. It could also be a tie to being the most grounded and “down-to-earth” of the characters. He’s also not focused on the photographer as he’s staring at Delenn. There are multiple ways in which this could be interpreted, especially as everyone else’s attention is directed at the camera, but it keeps Delenn as the focal point of the picture.

Londo

Alright, here’s everyone’s favorite character endowed with a shrapnel of a moral compass outside of his attaché: Londo Mollari. He’s in the moment, enjoying himself, but is it because he has attention or because it’s a good photo-op for the Prime Minister of the Centauri Republic? There’s not much of a variation between his behavior and the average of the others, so I have less conclusions to draw, but given G’Kar’s expression, he’s genuinely having a good time. 

Garibaldi

Now, Garibaldi isn’t actually seated on the bike, unlike everyone else. He’s up higher, like one might do to survey their surroundings. He’s setting distance between himself and Londo, thereby lessening the regulated distance he has with Lochley. This mirrors the way that Garibaldi comes around to apologize to Lochley at the end of the fifth season, and how the distance between Garibaldi and Londo is increased as Garibaldi returns to Mars with Lise as his permanent companion, a contrast to Londo’s permanent companion, the Drakh Keeper. Lise keeps Garibaldi away from alcohol, Londo is dependent on it for his freedom.

Lochley

Lochley doesn’t have her feet on the pedals, she’s taking up less space. She’s not contributing to the maneuvering of the bike so much as she is its stability. She’s squatting, something one might do to gain easier access to a smaller space, or how one might attempt to approach someone / something that would otherwise find it intimidating. She’s the only one without her hands on the bars, too, it’s very “Look, no hands!”- the absence of the necessity for control is exactly why she has such control. Her hands are just in her lap, as if she just wants to start a dialogue- the approach she uses both with Bester and Garibaldi. She sit further back in her seat, towards Garibaldi and away from Sheridan. 

Sheridan

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: he’s in-between his ex-wife and his wife. He’s in-between his past and his future. His link is just barely visible, the last of his attachment to the station (as the station a military base, and as John a soldier) as it fades into the history books. He’s got neither of his feet on the peddles because he wants to live in the moment. His Wife Guy™ Face is diluted not because of the presence of his ex-wife, but because of Delenn’s possessiveness- the last time someone took away an important man in her life, she instigated a war. 

Delenn

She’s everything, including the focal point of this photo- ironic, since a basic of photography is the Rule of Three. 

Alright now that I’ve gotten Some Thoughts™ out of my system: LET’S TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRICIATE HOW MUCH SHE’S LEANED INTO JOHN’S CHEST, OKAY? GIRLBOSS x MALEWIFE and I’m here for it. (That’s Delenn’s Atonement™ face, and we all know it.) She’s got her hand on John’s horn and she knows it.  Her legs are sticking out, a contrast to Lochley’s crouching.

Many, if not most bicycles, have triangular frames, since triangles are the strongest shape. Delenn is the frame of the Interstellar Alliance. She created it, she served as both vice president and president. She supports John, and therefore everyone around them, much like the bicycle is the support and the unifying force of everyone on it. (That’s not even touching her roles as Satai or Ambassador or Entil’Zha / Anla’Shok Na.) There’s still the part where a bicycle is a means of transportation, and therefore transition. She’s even wearing the dress she wears on the White Star- you know, where they’re going from point A to point B... in literal moments of transition? Delenn may be the biggest motif for transition in any form of media, especially a “cisgender” character (as the voice-altering technology wouldn’t allow for proper masculine characterization). 

Final Notes:

The dynamics are reflected so well in this photo, it’s amazing

There’s so much hot potato with the two collective brain cells in this photo

Sheridan and Delenn are literally holding hands in this photo and that's nothing additional for me to comment on as part of the analysis itself when everything is so obviously presented, but I love them very much and I needed to bring it up

[reelaround-deactivated05312024]

i appreciate when they show octavian as a little freak in movies plays etc the kind of little freak that isnt immediately obvious at first glance but when you turn around a sec you see at the corner of your eyes smth shifting in him in a deeply wrong way.

[horizon-verizon]

I thought that last comment you got about Elizabeth I and how she was never ashamed of her mother was really interesting because it reminded me of Aegon III and Rhaenyra.

People ask why Elizabeth I never attempted to rehabilitate the reputation of Anne Boleyn, why Aegon III never legitimize Rhaenyra’s reign... Both could do nothing practical, without stirring up a hornets’ nest of political controversy, divisions, and old wounds, Elizabeth I wisely kept her thoughts to herself and her mother’s memory in the form of a tiny portrait in a closed locket, found and seen by others only after her own death... Aegon III only wore black because he was mourning Rhaenyra for the rest of his life. They loved and cherished their mothers but were clever enough to know its better to leave things in the past. They may well have been too damaged to even think about revisiting that trauma after years had passed.

Anon's talking abt this post.

This is such good insight!

[howifeltabouthim]

And I think I might have been a good woman for the rest of my life, if fate would have allowed me to be so.

Mary Elizabeth Braddon, from Lady Audley’s Secret

[anghraine]

Not to way-overthink this or anything, but I feel like D&D alignment works best in terms of temperament rather than necessarily conduct. This is especially the case for the Lawful<-->Neutral<-->Chaotic axis.

It's interesting because I think this is generally accepted for the Evil alignments. It's really common to characterize Lawful Evil, say, with the example of a villain who may not care about specific regions' literal laws, but who generally adheres to a strict, clearly defined code of some kind that they're genuinely committed to and don't want to stray from.

Even if they end up in a situation where they have to choose between forwarding their evil plots or sticking to their code, and even if they reluctantly choose evil over the code, they're still essentially Lawful by disposition. It's wanting to follow The Rules (even if The Rules are self-imposed rather than societal structures) that aligns them with Law.

On the flip side, a Neutral Good character might end up following external rule systems because those particular rules don't get in the way of their moral purpose, or might sometimes even advance it, but not because they've actually internalized the rules or care all that much about them. It may be coincidental, or a matter of convenience. That doesn't make them Lawful. But if they're forced to choose between moral vision and personal or societal rules, they'd choose their morals without qualms—it's barely even a choice, really.

Even a Chaotic character doesn't morph into Lawful every time they happen to obey a law that isn't in their way. It's their temperament that is basically antagonistic towards Law, but that doesn't have to mean Chaotic Stupid in behavior.

Often, though, the idea that Lawful Evil can be evil with a strict personal code doesn't extend to Lawful Good having the capacity for good+a strict personal code, rather than outwards adherence to external laws and rules. But a Lawful Good character can do their damnedest to stick to a strict system of rules and order, even if nobody else agrees with them about it, and even if they consider specific external systems illegitimate. Not every revolutionary is Chaotic or even Neutral, and not every rule-abiding citizen of a corrupt government is truly Lawful.

I think there's also the idea that a Lawful Good character has to choose law (whether literal or a smaller-scale rule system) over morality when push comes to shove, or they're not truly Lawful, while this is typically not the case for Lawful Evil. But Lawful characters don't have to always pick the Lawful option when forced to choose, and aren't any more definitionally Lawful Stupid than Chaotic characters are Chaotic Stupid. A Lawful Good character is no less good than they are lawful.

In my last campaign, I got away with playing a Lawful Good warlock who refused to lie unless mind-controlled, but was willing to kill if she considered it just, or in the service of building a more just social order. At one point she calmly told her human bff's flawed love interest that if he did wrong by her friend again, justice would find him. He turned out to also be a Lawful Good warlock and actually respected her more for this, both because of her loyalty to her friend and her commitment to justice, and he ended up as a lifelong bro to my character ("lifelong" being 130 more years, so their relationship as surrogate siblings actually survived her bff/his wife by a very long time).

At another point, my character defended her friend's pursuit of vengeance against a colonizer as fundamentally just and likely a net good for the world, and therefore morally acceptable. The DM (rightly IMO, obviously) considered this consistent with her Lawful Good alignment and actually gave me inspiration for handling it in what he considered an interesting way. Lawful doesn't have to be this one size fits all characters box.

[crumbleclub]

another excerpt from the recently released chapter 4 of blips!

    Evan was crying.     Evan was always crying.     It was something that Michael didn't understand, at first. It wasn't like he had all that much to cry about. Father was way rougher with Michael, and he only really cried when things got bad enough to leave bruises. That would change later on.     One night, though, Father hit Evan a little too hard.     Michael understood after that.

my urge to show this one off is strong; there's so many little passages i want to post

[rosered2018]

1980s Nostalgia

First of all, I'd like to announce that I was an '80s kid.

That's right. I grew up in a time of big hair, bad fashion, evil businessmen, and highly questionable politicians.

That being said, I was, in the '80s, a fan of the Sweet Valley High books. I haven't read them in thirty years, but one of the things I remember from them was the running thing that Elizabeth was a writer.

As a writer myself, I call bullshit. My reason: her room was always clean and she always seemed to have herself together.

Where were the stacks of notebooks she'd bought that she couldn't live with herself if she didn't have them, but didn't write in them because she didn't have the perfect story idea to write in them?

Where were the drafts she'd scribbled all over while she was editing them?

Where were the half-written short stories? Where were the novels she crapped out on four chapters in?

Where was the pen and notebook that should have lived in whatever bag she carried?

Where were the scenes where she ended up laying facedown on her sister's bed saying she'll never write another word again in her life because she got stuck on one project?

Where were the scenes where she was trying to hash out a storyline or subplot with Jessica, while Jessica is smiling, nodding, and trying to figure out what the hell her sister is talking about?

Where were the scenes where she stays up way past her bedtime because she hit her groove and lost all track of time, only to end up in the kitchen at two in the morning looking for a snack and possibly caffiene?

Where were the little moments where she reads something and says, "Pfft. I can write better than that."?

Where were the scenes where she stops mid-conversation because she just realized where the story she's working on needs to go, or she's gotten a bright, new, shiny idea that she wants to work on to the exclusion of the other ten ideas shes got in the works?

Where were the scenes where she was wracked with guilt because she just killed a character for the first time?

Where are the scenes of Jessica being used to her sister's weirdness?

Where are the scenes of her friends and sister being her reluctant beta readers?

Where was the plotline where she actually got published and it went straight to her head?

Where are the plotlines where she uses her writing as therapy, because, Jesus Haploid Christ, that girl went through enough that she was probably going to still be dealing with it when she was forty?

All of this would have made her a much more interesting character than the uptight, condescending hypocrite she was. They could have mined that for so much humor and drama, but they didn't.