#◆ Right out the gate I'm super confident. But I'm also an idiot. | headcanon

[creatureshrieks]

The family angst on the dash keeps snowballing. I won’t stop it. Steve is bisexual. He’s closeted and, currently, uncertain about his sexuality ( I haven’t roleplayed enough to make dynamics / bonds with people to flesh out Steve and his history so I tend to keep everything ‘fresh’. If you roleplay with me and we talk about histories between our muses and their relationship, this may change the ‘blog canon’ ). But post s4... yeah. Steve’s more aware of the fact he might like guys. He definitely struggles with it, trying to slot the fact he thinks guys are cute and he’s wondering what kissing a few of them around him would be like into his previously thought straight sexuality, but. Steve has to be closeted from his parents so long as he’s living with them. His father is incredibly homophobic. Very much a rich, conservative, white guy. The idea that Steve not only is a failure in his career path and overall life, but also might date guys? He’d throw him out within a heartbeat and cut him off entirely.

[creatureshrieks]

Steve Harrington post every single season is a mess of trauma and is the type of guy that goes home after everyone and is the last to fall asleep at night. He needs to make sure everyone gets home okay and is definitely the type to make sure everyone’s taking care of themselves. Makes sure they’re eating, sleeping. Makes sure they feel safe. Totally type of guy that would stay up all night with you, just to make sure you’re okay. He’ll try to brush off the fact he might ‘care’, cover it over with jokes or brush it off, but. He cares. And he cares a lot. How much does he care? Reminder that in Season 3 Steve grabbed Erica’s hand when they were running in the mall so she wouldn’t get left behind/separated<3

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Steve’s never had a pet, his parents said the fur would ruin the furniture and make a mess of the house. Steve used to want a dog. He used to really like the idea of having a dog, a puppy he could play fetch with and would sleep in his bed and bark at all the monsters. Now, however, dogs make him think of Dart. And the Upside Down.

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You’re bullshit // Steve’s self-esteem

Headcanons regarding the affects of parental neglect, loss of friends, and messy breakups. Also bonus mentions of Steve’s languages of love.

It would be a lie to say that even with Steve’s last few years dedicated to fighting the Upside Down, his attempts to cling to a normal life, and the destruction of his rich boy, golden boy, untouchable ego that Steve hasn’t been left spiraling and confused on what to make of himself. On what to be. Steve Harrington has always been someone who knows how powerful reputation can be: From a young age his parents instilled this very idea into him. Stand up tall, sit up straight. Say please, say thank you. Look good. Do better. Be better. You have the Harrington name, don’t you? You need to carry it on your shoulders, carry the weight on your back. Brand yourself with the bloodline.

But, of course, Steve could never live up to the ever-lofty expectations have his parents. He’s always been too stupid for his father. Too lazy. A wild child that liked his parties more than his education. He didn’t like math, he didn’t like English. He could never remember history, mixing up dates and names in vain attempts. It was too boring, too hard to learn. He didn’t like sitting still, listening to his teachers drone on and on, verbatim from a textbook. Nothing kept his interest. Nothing except for sports. Steve, of course, had to keep up a decent enough grade to play on two teams, but he was no overachiever unless it came to physical activities. He loved to run, to swim. He loved playing basketball and though his team never made it to the end... he thought he was good at it. He was good at it. Star of the basketball team, co-captain of the swim team. He won trophies for his talents, trophies his parents proudly displayed on the mantle for all their guests to see. Polished, dusted, left to shine and prove to the world that their son wasn’t just a fuck up. But that is all Steve was told he was good at. All his parents thought he was good at. And they didn’t ever hesitate to remind him that he couldn’t live his life focused only on sports. He couldn’t make a name for himself with his basketball team. Sure, he was good, but he’d never be scouted. Didn’t play enough for a full ride. There was always someone better. Why couldn’t he just put the same energy into school? Why couldn’t he just do it? Why couldn’t he just do anything right? It’s hard to bear the pressure. It’s hard to never do anything right. To look into the crowd that gathers for your basketball games and see the swarm of parents cheering. To find only strangers staring back. It’s hard to come back to an empty house, take care of what your parents left behind. Because that’s what you were. Left behind. Same as the the house. Same as the pool. Same as everything your parents couldn’t care enough to take with them. It’s hard to crave attention and to think you’re not worth it. To know you’re not worth it. Because if you were, then clearly your parents would love you. Clearly you must be doing something wrong if they can’t love you. Maybe you are stupid. Maybe you are lazy. Maybe you do deserve to be left behind. And then, of course, you have his friends. Now, Steve was an asshole. He chose to stick with his friends, chose to do whatever he needed to keep them by his side. He’d bully. He’d harass. All to be the King, of course. Steve knew what reputation could do. He saw it himself: When he’d walk into school and he’d rule the halls. He knew what the name Harrington could do in the right circles, new what image it showed. Rich people, rich enough to afford a massive house with a poo, rich enough to scurry away from that shit hole of a town on countless vacations. No parents, empty house. Party central. Booze and weed and music, all pool side. And god did Steve love it. Loved the attention, loved the way people looked up at him, looked at the way people wanted to be him. He heard their whispers in their halls, envious, jealous. Shy compliments giggled between friends. And god, did he love the way girls loved him. The way they’d come to him, flirtatious and curious. Loved the way he was seen and wanted. But he was just a stupid high school boy, coasting his way through his high school years and living off the high of being King. He drank in all the attention his peers gave him, good and bad. And then Steve fell in love. It wasn’t planned, but most good romances are. It was a stumble, then a fall. Then a plummet. He craved the intimacy he got with Nancy. Craved the way she’d look at him. Smile at him. Craved her laugh, her smile, her touch. No one else’s eyes mattered, if only he could at least have hers. He fell in love with someone so vastly different from who he was, someone brave and honest. And so Steve had to change. Tearing down his facade of royalty and plunging head first into whatever fucked up world Nancy had found herself in, if only because he finally began to care about someone else more than himself. And it felt nice to be in love. To feel loved. Not to just be envied. Not to just be seen as a trophy, a medal to wear around your neck. A pin in your sex life. It felt good to be seen in a way he never had before. And choosing Nancy required cutting ties with his asshole past. Abandoning his friends in a heated exchange, much as they abandoned you. Tempers soared, but no one took that first step forward. And no one wanted to. And then your crown begins to crack as a new kid comes into town. Hot enough that the school notices him. Hot enough that their parents do too. Cool enough that your old friends follow after him, joining in on the ridicule you’ve avoid for years. But it’s okay, because you can still leave that shithole of PE class and find a silver lining. You might have lost your friends, but they were assholes. They were rude and they were mean, mean enough to where you, yourself, had to tell them to knock it off. You didn’t want to be mean anymore. You wanted to be someone worthy of love. Wanted to be someone that earned the love you were given. And then after everything, it was just bullshit. He was bullshit. Their love was bullshit. It was all bullshit. And maybe she never loved him to begin with. Maybe Nancy couldn’t find the right way to sort through her feelings until she was stumbling drunk. Maybe she never loved him at all. Or maybe she did, and somewhere along the line he fucked it up. Like he always did. He always fucked things up. Because if Nancy stopped loving him, then clearly he did something wrong, right? Clearly he was at fault here. So he’d try to apologize, try to work his way through it. Through the hurt and the guilt and the confusion. But it didn’t matter. Because Nancy didn’t love him. And she probably hadn’t for awhile. And to Steve? That was okay. At least after a few days of a sore heart. It was okay if she didn’t love him. Because Steve still loved her. And he wasn’t the asshole he used to be. Or maybe he was, maybe Nancy still saw more flaws that even he couldn’t see, but at least in this regard he wouldn’t be an asshole again. He had let his friends hurt her. Took complacent, had as much to do with her slut shaming as the rest of them. And he wouldn’t hurt her like that again. So if she couldn’t love him, that was okay. That was fine. But it’s hard to get over a break-up like that. Hard to sort yourself through years of neglect and abuse. Hard to find the right way to get your feelings out because if the way you loved was bullshit, then you have to be doing something wrong. You have to be screwing up. You have to be the mistake here. Because everyone leaves you. Everyone has always left you. And you know it’s always the same. People leave you. Because you screw up. You always screw something up. And you’re so scared of the day when people realize how big of a fuck up you are. Scared of the day they’ll all see you for who you are. A loser with no prospects in life, doomed to work under his dad until one of them dies first. And that’s why Steve is so protective of the people he loves. That’s why, despite it all, he still loves so viciously. Because Steve knows what it’s like to be unloved. Unwanted. He knows what it’s like to wander through empty rooms and wonder when the last time your parents visited that side of the house. Steve loves others more than himself. And craves approval, craves attention. He craves people to love him. But it’s so hard to feel worthy of that. To find yourself at home between friend because there’s always that nagging thought in the back of your mind that one of these days, they’ll see you. They’ll really see you. And they’ll leave you.

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Steve struggles with his self-esteem in regards to his relationships. Steve knows he looks good. He knows he’s attractive. He knows he can be charismatic, enough to drown himself in date after date just like he did in high school. He knows he looks good and he takes pride in that aspect. Takes pride in look nice, takes pride in his hair. Takes pride in smell nice and sounding nice. But Steve also knows he’s stupid. He’s got the good looks, sure, but it’s so... shallow. Only to see him for his looks. Steve knows he’s not as smart as his friends. Knows most of what he can do is just throw his life on the line to keep them safe. And so Steve doesn’t like to be called stupid or dumb. Even as a joke, even from friends. He might not complain, but it still hurts him. It hurts him to be insulted like that. He hates being made to look like an idiot. And being called King? It can hurt him. You can use it to dredge up the past. Throw it back in his face. He was an asshole. He knows he was. You can call him King Steve to insult him, to remind him he was just a party-crazed stupid jock. Ever since Nancy, Steve struggles with saying I love you. Because Nancy was the first person he ever said that to. First person he ever felt love for. So Steve’s showcase of love is through actions. Through service. It doesn’t matter what you need, Steve will be there if you need it bad enough. Doesn’t matter the time or the place. Call him drunk, call him at 3 am. Call him on a Monday, call him on a Friday. If Steve can help you then he can show you that he cares about you. And if he has nothing to offer you, he worries about your friendship. Worries that if he can’t be something for you, do something for you, then eventually you’ll realize he might not be worthy of the love you gave him.

[creatureshrieks]

Some NSFW headcanons about Steve. Some get kind of sappy;

1. Steve is bisexual but he’s never been with a guy. He’s only sort of recently started to come to terms with this and, due to it being the 80s, it being Hawkins, and his family... he’s pretty closeted. Regardless, man is. Well. Never been with a guy. Kind of awkward the first time unless his partner knows what they’re doing, but man will he be eager to try. 2. Steve has always been highly sexually active. He likes sex and enjoys it - And when he’s with a partner he loves and a partner he’s not just using to get off, he’s genuinely very intimate and attentive. He uses sex as one of the ways to show that he loves someone and that he loves every inch of them. He likes to leave hickies and bite marks, if his partner is cool with it. Likes to receive them too. 3. Steve has a jockstrap. He is. Or was. A jock. They’re useful for sports, especially since he did basketball. Do with that what you will. 4. Steve is very good at kissing and very good at oral. 5. Steve’s a switch, for the most part. Primarily took more of a top role in his previous relationships, however. Wouldn’t be opposed to bottoming given the chance and given that he’s spoken about it with his partner. 6. Steve won’t fuck in his car<3 That is HIS baby and he’s not about to get cum stains on her precious seats. If he’s not about to marry you then you’re not getting anything in his car outside of a make-out session. 7. Steve can be a little bit of a menace and will absolutely tease his partner, whether before, during, or after. Dirty talk, edging, etc. This definitely depends on his partner, however, and is not something he’d do with everyone. 8. Steve still has his scoops uniform. Do with that what you will.

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Steve & Nancy || Post Season 2 Relationship

I will begin by saying that, despite their breakup, Steve cares very deeply for Nancy. He does credit her for being the driving force behind him becoming a better person, or at least credits her with giving him that push to take his first steps, and he truly does consider her a friend, but since the Snow Ball Dance showcased in Season 2, Steve Harrington no longer has any romantic feelings towards Nancy. Though he tried to originally apologize for his behavior and ‘his’ decision to break things off and tried to restate their relationship, Steve instead attempted to convince himself that the relationship was over and that she no longer had feelings for him. However, Steve had never had a relationship like this before nor had he gone through a breakup as painful as this. Steve Harrington struggled with his breakup with Nancy, believing her to be one of if not his very first true serious relationship in which he actually loved his partner. She was vastly different from what he would involve himself in before and truly thought he had found “the one” for him. He truly did envision a future with her and one he wanted to work towards, though all those dreams were brought to a crashing halt after their breakup. It was painful, genuinely. After struggling with finding another relationship even similar to what he had with Nancy, his unresolved feelings towards her, himself, and his family, his general confusion, and the interference of others ( Dustin and even Eddie pushing him towards her ), have resulted in Steve developing an unhealthy attachment to the idea of him and Nancy. He believes this is what he should work towards and believes their relationship is the “normal” future he should strive towards, much akin to the life his parents have tried to force him into. He does not love her, but he believes he should love her and should be with her. Talking about Nancy in a romantic setting with Steve is a touchy subject for him. He won’t immediately lash out, but due to the mess of feelings he has regarding her + a lot of other connected issues ( family & his uncertainty of the future ) his mood tends to begin to sour. Pushing the issue may genuinely begin to irritate or upset him. Steve does not have a positive relationship with his family and does not want to repeat their mistakes. Steve want to be ‘alone’. He genuinely craves a romantic relationship, a serious relationship. He wants a relationship that might make the future seem more stable.

[creatureshrieks]

Steve likes to take long showers when he’s stressed. It feels nice to just stand under the hot water, focusing on the feel of it against his skin instead of whatever bullshit’s running around in his head.

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I rolled a sheet for Steve Harrington’s D&D character ;

As a Level 2 Human Fighter / Barbarian

Strength 17( +3 ) Dexterity 15 ( +2 ) Constitution 16 ( +3 ) Intelligence 12 ( +1 ) Wisdom 13 ( +1 ) Charisma 16 ( +3 )

Proficiency +2 Initiative + 2

Walking Speed 30ft. He has ‘soldier’ for a background but Steve has never been one for drama or acting. Or roleplaying, for that matter, so he wouldn’t be very good at being ‘in character’. He’d also just try to name his character ‘Steve’ unless everyone else bullied him into a different name but he wouldn’t know what to pick and would just offer movie character/actor names unless someone picked for him.