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theonewiththefanfics · 6 years

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Once Upon A December (one-shot)

Synopsys: Bucky Barnes used to think he was the only Winter Soldier that escaped the programme and stayed alive. That is until he finds the Reader- the person who is the reason he is still alive. The only problem is she has no recollection of anything.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: angst/ fluff

Warnings: SMUT; mentions of torture, abuse and non-consensual sex

Word count: 7854

Italics are flashbacks

“God, it reeks here,” Tony said as the pungent smell of the damp basement, mould and something rotten made its way even through the suit's air filters. Bucky snorted, a rifle pressed tightly against his shoulders as he scanned their surroundings. “Better than Sam’s cologne.” “Shut your mouth, Frozone,” the men’s comms were filled with the sounds of a very agitated Falcon accompanied by gunshots. “Were at the lowest level, Cap,” Tony informed the teammate. “Everything looks clear here.” Bucky could hear the grunts of his best friend as he fought off HYDRA agents. “They’re getting reinforcements and Nat is barely into the system. If nothing’s down there we could use some help.” “Got it,” Stark replied and nodded, even though Steve couldn’t see it. “Barnes and I are moving up.” But something didn’t feel right to the ex-Winter Soldier. At first, he wrote it off to him being in a HYDRA base, a place that had brought so much suffering, pain and heartache, but now, it had morphed into an uneasy feeling. Something stomach twisting and hair-raising. Especially since this was supposed to be an abandoned place. “Barnes,” Tony called for him, ready to blast off and lift him out of there as well. “Just… give me a second.” With tentative steps, Bucky moved forward the dead-end. He couldn’t explain it. It was like an invisible string was pulling him to come closer, to discover something hidden. “Hey, Manchurian Candidate, there is nothing here, F.R.I.D.A.Y. has scanned every crook and crevice. Your boyfriend needs rescue.” A faint ‘piss off, Tony’ from Steve could be heard, but Bucky’s attention was completely focused on the brick wall. “Well, then she did a pretty shit job.” He retracted his metal fist and slammed down onto the rocks. They trembled and shattered underneath the force only to bring the man to another dead-end. Only this time it was a metal door. Immediately Tony was by his side. “She did an amazing job, don’t listen to him sweetie,” the genius soothed his A.I. “It’s a hydraulic door. And it was sealed off by a brick wall.” The look Tony gave Bucky made him feel a bit queasy. “Makes you wonder what they are trying to keep from getting out.” “Or who they are trying to keep from getting in,” but that comment was heard by none as Tony’s arc reactor glowed white and the chest repulsor shot the beam out, melting the metal. It took them a little while, but once the hole was big enough, the two Avengers stepped inside- Bucky’s rifle raised and ready to shoot as were Tony’s Iron Man’s suits palms, but the soldier’s breath hitched, making him stop dead in his tracks. For it wasn’t a secret hiding place of the deadliest weapon on planet Earth. It was a cryo pod. With a person in it. The one person Bucky never thought he’d see again. His knees buckled and they hit the ground, a single tear rolling down his face. “Y/N,” he breathed out.

***

It was December, that much Bucky knew. There had been a calendar stuck to the concrete wall right as he was woken from his cryo-sleep. “We have a mission for you, Soldier,” it was a man clad in a black tactical suit speaking. The Winter Soldier complied without a question, that was his job, but a shadow drew his attention. He didn’t say nor do anything to notify that there was someone watching, for an almost alien feeling took over the man, something he hadn’t felt in a long time- safety, comfort. He was handed a black duffle bag, extra clothes as well as some more ammunition, though this was supposed to be only an intel gathering operation. The guns and knives were just in case things went south. “You will be joined by Miss Y/L/N. She’ll be your back up and distraction, if things don’t go as planned.” Bucky was just about to ask who was this person when the shadow moved. From the darkness a woman stepped out, her hair a Y/H/C shade with blazing Y/E/C eyes that almost took his breath away. Almost. For he knew that any sign of recognition or emotion would certainly have painful repercussions. With a small nod and an uninterested gaze, he put on his own tactical gear and together they made way to a black SUV that would take them to a hangar where a HYDRA jet would get them to Italy. She didn’t say anything, her eyes never even flitted to him, but there was a tug in Bucky’s chest, that screamed he knew her, he needed to protect her. He kept looking at her throughout the nine-hour plane ride. He traced her profile, gaze lingering on her lips. A small voice in the back of his head whispered to lean in, to kiss her, that he had done it before, but they weren’t safe, he couldn’t ask any of the questions that pressed on his chest. Not yet. Two more hours spent in a car and they were at the hotel. It was fancy, far more prestigious than anything either had stayed in, but since they needed to observe what one of the richest men in the world was doing, they had to appear as if they belonged. Upon entering the suite Bucky immediately surveyed every window and door, noting the possible escape routes or where the enemy could hide. “You take the bed, I’ll take the couch,” it was the first time she had spoken. The voice enthralled Bucky. He felt it caress his skin and gently seep into his pores with promises of love and affection. “Why do you have to take the couch?” his own words came out rough, so he cleared his throat, not liking how their tones didn’t match. She snorted. “Because there is only one bed and you are bigger than me. I doubt you’d even fit one leg of yours on this thing,” she motioned to a suede sofa that was more accessory than furniture. “Can’t we both fit on the bed?” The smirk she threw Bucky made his heart beat faster. “Ask me on a date first, Soldier. I ain’t that kind of a girl.” And to his own surprise, his lips tugged up at the corners.

***

The party was filled with champagne, diamond chandeliers and jovial talking. Y/N, he had learned the name of who was his partner, was by the piano, her fingers making soft notes flutter through the air. Her back was straight, form slightly leaning over the keys as she pressed down onto the next one and the next one, allowing the music to reverberate through the room in harmony. “Careful, Soldier,” she said through the comms they both had hidden in their ears. “You should be paying attention to Mister Kovalev, not me.” Bucky chuckled, taking a sip of the alcohol and focusing his hearing on what their target was saying. He was two barstools down, so it didn’t take him much effort, allowing small banter with Y/N to be held. “How did you know I was watching?” “You haven’t stopped since we walked in here.” Bucky looked over his shoulder and saw her rouge lips in a small smile. “And you are not the only spy with training in this room. Give me some credit.” He looked down to the countertop and noticed that a grin of his own adorned his face. It was so different- being around Y/N- because ever since the first second she walked into his life he wasn’t filled with numbness or fear. Instead, a warmth had started to spread through his chest and Bucky was fairly certain that if he mentioned anything about it if he even showed the smallest emotion, she would be ripped away from him. “He’s leaving, Soldier,” Y/N pulled him out of his thoughts and that made Bucky take a look to his right where Kovalev had stood up, gave the woman he had been with a kiss on the cheek and sauntered out of the room. “I guess that means day one is done,” he said, downing the last of the drink and turning his stance fully to observe Y/N. “I guess it is,” she replied standing up from the piano. The grand hall erupted in applause as the woman took a bow and allowed the next person to sit down by the instrument, taking up her place. Y/N wore a golden dress that sparkled with every little movement she made. It clung to her body in every right way accentuating what needed attention and hiding any scar that might be suspicious. Her hair had been styled in a bun, cinched with a metallic clasp that hid a thin, needle-sharp screw in between as a precaution if someone found out who they were. She stood next to Bucky, leaning on her elbow as the bartender handed Y/N a whiskey. “Enjoying yourself there, Soldier?” “Surprised to say that this isn’t half bad.” She hummed, taking a big sip of the drink. Her lipstick left a clear mark on the glass and he watched her throat bob up and down as the liquid was swallowed which drew his attention to the necklace she was wearing. It was small, intricate with a tiny gold ‘J’ snugly resting in the hollow of her neck. “That’s a beautiful necklace,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Must be from someone important.” “It is.” She didn’t explain further, but the man felt a weird need to press on. “Who is ‘J’?” Y/N sighed, eyes looking down into her glass, lashes casting shadows on her cheekbones. “He’s the only man I’ve ever loved. Who I know loved me.” “Loved? As in past tense?” “I still do. But in this job… let’s just say feelings only come as a distraction.” He saw her whole body go rigid, jaw tightening as she drowned her whiskey to the last drop and turned to him with a sad smile. “I’ll see you in the room.”

***

When Bucky got back it was a little bit past one in the morning. His mind had been veering and he had needed a little bit of time to process what was going on. Walking into the hotel apartment he was greeted by silence, but it wasn’t eerie or suspicious. This time it was comforting. He discarded the dress shoes and removed the glove that had covered his metal palm. The next came the tuxedo jacket and the vest, leaving him in black pants with the white button up. The black bowtie made Bucky feel like he was being strangled so as quickly as possible he tried to take it off only to be stopped dead in his tracks when the bathroom doors clicked open and a towel-clad Y/N exited. Her body glistened in the dim lights as steam encased her from the back. She looked like an angel or the closest thing to one. Wet hair clung to her neck and shoulders as she combed through with her fingers, trying to untangle it to the best of her abilities. “You okay there, Soldier? Need a little help?” Bucky was in a trace. “Uh, what?” “The bowtie?” she pointed at it. “Need some help?” “N-no,” he stuttered out, finally managing to take the little piece of fabric off and throwing it on the bed. Bucky raked a hand through his shoulder length hair that had been slicked back but now flew freely. She sat down onto the bed, Y/E/C eyes curiously watching every move the man made and noted every emotion that washed over his face “I think I’m going crazy,” he said putting both hands on his hips. “Is that so?” there was a playful smirk etched on Y/N’s face as she combed through her damp locks, legs crossed over one another, the towel covering her body not allowing the bedsheets to become wet. “Because I think we’ve met before.” That took Y/N’s whole attention, eyes widening and back straightening up. “What do you mean?” Bucky recognised that she was carefully picking how her emotions showed and against his better judgment, he let the woman see all of his cards. “When I was woken up, I instantly knew that someone was in the corner of that room. It turned out to be you. But instead of numbness and confusion, I felt… safe,” he looked deep into Y/N’s eyes. “The whole ride here I tried to figure out what was it about you that makes me feel so content, so carefree around you and I can’t.” Bucky sank down onto his knees in front of the girl and cupped her cheeks. “Please, help me. Tell me who you are. Who we are to one another” “I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I was born in Manhattan, New York. We work for HYDRA. You and I are partners right now.” His brows furrowed in annoyance with how reluctant the woman was being, but then something dawned on him. She was afraid. “Y/N, please. I’m begging you. I fell like I’m losing my mind.” A beat passed before she replied. “You’re James Buchanan Barnes also known as Bucky, born and raised in Brooklyn, New York.” Y/N was barely whispering but it was loud enough that Bucky heard it. “Your best friend was Steve Rogers also know in history as Captain America. You were the commander of Howling Commandoes and gave your life protecting your country during the Second World War. Or so everybody thought.” “I- I died?” Y/N shook her head, a finger picking at a white thread that had fluffed off the towel. “No. You fell off a train. People thought you died, but miraculously you didn’t,” she took a deep sigh before continuing on with what she was about to say. “HYDRA found you. They gave you a new arm to the one you lost. And then they tortured you and brainwashed you and gave you a serum that replicated what Captain America had. They turned you into their weapon. Their perfect little puppet.” It was all too much. He had known Y/N was special since the second he had woken up and felt her presence. Now Bucky knew why- she was the only person who would tell him the truth. But one thing she still hadn’t mentioned and it made the man’s heart beat wildly in his chest. “Am I ‘J’?” Bucky’s voice trembled with fear. But not because her answer could confirm that he was the man her heart belonged to, but because she could say he wasn’t. The soft, but confident ‘yes’ was all he needed to crash his lips against hers, pulling a moan out of the girl. He used it as an opportunity to let his tongue slip past her parted mouth and entwine with hers. Bucky could still feel the faint taste of whiskey even though it was overpowered by minty toothpaste. Her towel fell away almost instantly but Y/N didn’t stop the kiss or push him away. Instead, her fingers gripped onto the nape of Bucky’s neck and pulled him onto the bed with her, the man hovering above. She was completely naked, vulnerable, exposed to him, but never had he felt more vulnerable himself. With tentative and unsure movements, he let his hands trace Y/N’s curves. How her hip jutted out and become the round soft flesh of her backside to the tender skin of her breasts and already hardened nipples. “Please,” the whimper made his head snap up to look at the girl. “Please, James.” She was like a mirage, an illusion, the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Only Y/N was tangible, real and there with him. Bucky pressed a bruising kiss to her lips before making’s way down to her neck. His tongue and mouth traced her jawline, gently nipping in some spots. He was on a search for that one place that made her toes curl and when he stumbled upon it, Bucky made sure that Y/N felt every single thing. Her whole body was already shaking, nails leaving scratch marks on his still clothed back. The man was about to make his way down to Y/N’s collarbones and ravish her further when with one swift movement she had pushed him away and the white buttons of the dress shirt went flying. It took less than a second for his chest to be just as exposed as the woman’s and pressed against her skin once more. Bucky continued on his path of exploration, mentally checking every spot that elicited whimpers and moans from Y/N. He soothed every scar with a kiss and where his hands gripped onto her a bit tighter, he was sure to smooth the sore flesh over. The man left open-mouthed kisses as he slid through the valley of her breasts but he didn’t linger there long. There was another spot where he needed to be, what he needed to taste. Bucky left his palms on the soft mounds as he moved down her stomach and then lower so his shoulders settled between her legs. With one last squeeze, he let go of her breasts and grabbed onto the woman’s hips, pinning them down to the bed. Bucky gave Y/N a small grin before kissing her knee and moving towards the centre. He sucked and bit at the inside of her soft thigh leaving purplish marks. When Bucky opened his eyes to look at the artwork a flash of memory pulled him out of the moment. They were in a rundown motel room, Y/N’s body covered in bruises as he gently tended to them and all the little scratch marks she’d received during the mission. “James?” he felt her hand weave through his hair, bringing the man back to the present. Glancing upwards her chest shone in the moonlight, skin covered in a thin layer of sweat but above all- concern and love was evident in her Y/E/C orbs. “I’m so sorry, doll,” he pressed another kiss to her thigh. “For what they’ve made you do.” Bucky didn’t even give her a second to protest or interfere when his tongue swiped a long stripe up her entrance flattening out when it found her clit. A pornographic moan escaped Y/N, her legs closing around Bucky’s head on instinct. But to him, the motion wasn’t unwelcome. Because when her skin encased him instead of the feeling of cold metal that usually pressed down onto his face painfully hard, shooting shockwaves of pure and utter agony, wiping away every sense of who he was and the world around him, Y/N’s soft tugs at his hair made nothing but pleasure ripple down his whole being, straight into his core. The moan that came from her mouth was the most delicious thing Bucky had ever heard. It made him painfully hard, so much so he had to reach down and unzip his pants, pulling them with his boxers right below his ass. With every second and minute, he spent bringing Y/N closer to the edge of falling apart he noted how she was dripping down onto the sheets. That only spurred Bucky on, the thought of being the reason behind her immense pleasure made the man himself almost cum. “James,” she whined out when he inserted two fingers into her entrance. With slow movements he pushed them in and out, curling the tips in a come-hither motion. Y/N gasped and Bucky instantly knew he’d found the spot. He didn’t close his eyes, didn’t allow his gaze to look at nothing else but the woman whose chest was rapidly moving up and down, one hand clutching onto the white silken sheets, body glowing under the soft light of the moon. She came with a choke of his name, Bucky’s grip on her hips tightening as she ground her core against his mouth. He helped her through the waves of bliss that shook her body, not once faltering in his motions. Only when her eyes opened, mouth taking big gulps of air as the muscles in her thighs quivered, did Bucky unlatch his lips and move over to press them together again. Her hands moved over his back and down to his own legs, pushing the remaining piece of clothing off. Now they were completely the same. “Are you sure?” Bucky managed to get out the question through his lust colluded mind. “Yes, please, James. I need you.” He reached down between their bare bodies and positioned himself right at her centre, coating his members head in Y/N’s slick before pushing just the tip in, feeling her walls immediately hug him. Bucky sunk into Y/N, his mouth hanging open just like hers. The man was sure that if he wasn’t supporting his weight on his elbows, he would’ve crushed her. Hell, he was almost a hundred percent sure even the metal arm trembled from how much he was straining to remain composed. “Is it always like this?” a breathless laugh escaped him. “I don’t know how it is for you with me or how it’s been with other women, but for me, it’s always like this,” she gave him a blissful smile. That made him look deep into those beautiful Y/E/C eyes that were so filled with lust he couldn’t see anything but giant black pupils. “I’ve been with others?” Y/N gently tucked a piece of hair behind him and leaned up to peck his lips. “Sometimes missions make you do things you don’t want to.” “I-I’m sorry,” Bucky felt shame and disgust flow through his veins at the thought of HYDRA making him sleep with people he had no desire to. “It wasn’t you.” Confusion swept over his features as he was met with a loving smile. “Those people were with the Winter Soldier. James Buchanan Barnes has only been with me.” And it was all the reassurance Bucky needed to pull out and thrust back into her. Y/N’s back arched off of the bed, his metal palm instinctively going to the small of her back to keep the woman’s body pressed against his. “Say my name, doll,” he grunted out nipping at her collarbone, “please darling, say my name.” Y/N’s eyes rolled to the back of her head as she moaned out ‘James’. The way it was covered in a layer of love and adoration only spurred on Bucky’s movements. A memory of Y/N in the same position, writhing underneath him went through his head. How her nails dug into his back in an attempt to pull Bucky closer, heels digging into his ass with every thrust and pull. Her palms had settled on both his butt cheeks, adding pressure to every snap of his hips, like she needed him to go deeper, to be closer even though Bucky was fairly certain both in a physical and mental aspect he couldn’t be more entwined with someone than he was with her. It didn’t take her long to feel that coil start to tighten in her lower belly again and Bucky knew Y/N was teetering on the edge so he pressed a kiss to her lips before bringing his metal arm down in between them to find that little bundle of nerves that set every atom in her body ablaze. A cold thumb pressed against her clit, which made a high-pitched whine echo through the room, Bucky eagerly swallowing the sound of pleasure. “Cum, doll. I’ve got you. You can let go.” And with a scream of his name she did, falling apart, every molecule disintegrating and then being brought back together. She squeezed around him, making Bucky’s pace falter and with a few more thrusts he spilled inside of the girl. His whole body shook, as he pressed his forehead to hers, just relishing in the aftermath if only for a moment.

***

Her fingers traced invisible love confessions onto the jagged scar that ran along his left shoulder. “When did this happen the first time?” Bucky’s voice was tired, but content. “What? Sex?” “Just… everything. How did we get to a point like this?” Y/N huffed, placing her head more comfortably in the crook of his neck. “Three years ago we started an affair, is what you could call it. Out on a mission, people get lonely… but then it became more than that. You started to remember, started to feel things, you were kind to me. You treated me like I was a human being not just a pawn in someone else’s chess game. And I fell for you. Turns out, you kinda liked me as well,” the smirk she threw Bucky made his heart skip a beat. “Obviously, we couldn’t say nor do anything that would even allude HYDRA to what was happening between us. But then you were pushed in cryo, wiped and I had to stay their little obedient pet. I almost killed myself when they made you revert into the Winter Soldier mode.” Bucky felt a tear splash onto his chest and with a gentle finger, he wiped the trail from Y/N’s cheek. “I couldn’t stand it anymore- being on their side, someone complicit in your torture only because I was scared myself. But we got sent out on a reconnaissance mission the next day and it was like you were the same. You were my James.” Y/N’s thumb caressed Bucky’s jawline which she pressed a quick kiss to. “You got me the necklace that same week. Said that no matter how many times they wipe you and use you, you’d always be mine.” “I am,” without a second thought, he replied, the conviction in his tone being the most evident thing. “I know,” Y/N’s smile was sad yet beautiful at the same time, which Bucky couldn’t wrap his head around how it was possible. “And I want you to know I am yours. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. No matter what the world throws at us.” And with those words spoken, both drifted off to sleep where no one could hurt or rip the lovers apart.

***

A loud explosion woke up the two naked people from their peaceful slumber. It took Bucky a good couple of second to rid his mind from the haze and thoughts of what they had done in the night, but by that time Y/N was already dressed, packed and ready to go. “Bucky, we have to leave,” her look was frantic, eyes assessing everything in the room. “What’s going on?” he asked, still confused by this morning intrusion. “I-“ she looked down into his duffle bag, putting her own gun in there and then zipping it up, dropping the heavy sack by his feet. “I’m giving you a way out.” “What do you mean?” Her warm palms cupped his cheeks as Y/N looked deep into his eyes. “The world is at a tipping point. So I’m going to use this chaos for one good thing- saving you.” Bucky was dressed in less than a minute and the pair was out the door in the next second. The hotel was full of life, residents and guests making their way towards the stairs as the police had arrived to evacuate everybody. Streets were flooded by cars and people, allowing Y/N and Bucky to blend in perfectly. “Y/N, what did you do?” he muttered into her hair. If they both weren’t HYDRA agents, from the outside they’d look like two lovers concerned for one another. “I tipped off our target. And then gave some more information about how best to dispose of us. Well, mostly you.” “So you faked our deaths?” “With a little help from the enemy but yes. Basically. Nobody got hurt, I made sure the car they blew up was abandoned but left enough pieces that when HYDRA comes lurking they can make their own assumptions. And now you have to go. You have to run and never look back.” She turned to leave, but the man was not going to let everything go that easily. Not after last night. “Why are you doing this?” Bucky’s grip on Y/N’s wrist was almost painful, but not even a muscle flinched in her face. “Because you are the only one of us who deserves a chance, a life. Now go.” “Not without you.” Her gaze was desperate, as Y/E/C eyes looked deep into his. “I love you, James,” she whispered, pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. “You’re the only one I’ve ever loved. And I know you loved me. Still do. So please do as I say and go. I’ll be fine. I’ll find a way out.” “I-“ tears slipped down his cheeks. “I can’t lose you.” Y/N’s palms caressed his cheeks before she whipped away the salty pearls. “You never will. I’m yours, Buck. Always and forever.” She took a hold of his hand and squeezed it before turning away and running into the streets as fast as she could. Bucky looked down, feeling his heart break, but when he saw the small golden ‘J’, the same pendant he had given her, it shattered in a million pieces.

***

It had been the last time the man had seen her. Up until today, four years later. Tony had instantly helped Bucky take the woman out of the pod. After constant reassurance coming from the soldier, that without orders she wouldn’t do anything when she woke up, they took Y/N to the Avengers Tower in New York. The whole plane ride there, Bucky didn’t let go of her. Bruce had stuck a needle in her arm, allowing fluids and vitamins to flood her veins, but even then she didn’t wake. He cradled her, close to his chest, hoping that his body warmth would provide some help. Blue eyes couldn’t believe what they were seeing. His mind couldn’t wrap around the fact that Y/N was there, safely tucked underneath his chin and in his embrace. After all these years, she was with him once more. Steve had sat down next to his friend, his gaze curious but wary. “Who is she?” his tone had been soft, gentle as he asked the question. “She saved me. She’s the reason I’m free,” Bucky brushed a strand of matted down hair from her face. God, even her skin was as soft as he remembered. “She’s the only woman that I’ve ever loved and the only woman that loved me.” They had set her up in a special room. Or more so a prison cell. Bucky had argued against it, but even Steve had been with Tony on this one. “Buck,” he had tried to reason with the brunet soldier as he looked over two scientists hooking Y/N up to various systems through a bulletproof and even Hulk-proof glass. “You have to admit that the fact she was locked away so thoroughly, that she was completely alone in that room behind a metal door and a brick wall, it could mean she’s incredibly dangerous. So dangerous in fact HYDRA themselves couldn’t handle her anymore.” “Or it could mean they locked her up there like that for her to rot.” Bucky was angry and rightfully so in his own opinion. They were treating Y/N like she was a bomb ready to explode when the girl wasn’t even conscious. “They locked her up because they found out.” Steve had crossed his arms, but Bucky felt his whole stance shift once those words were out of his mouth. “Found out what?” And so with a deep sigh, the ex-Winter Soldier recounted their last mission in Italy. He obviously left out the part of their night spent together because that was only his and Y/N’s memory to share. “I didn’t know she was in the Winter Soldier programme,” Steve’s eyebrow raised at the statement but Bucky only shrugged. “They didn’t wipe her, not once. not with the way she always acted around me. And it’s the only way she could’ve stayed in cryo and survived,” he conceded. “They put her in that pod, locking her away from society and any chance of freedom. I mean for fuck’s sake- they abandoned the base with her there. No way in hell would they have left Y/N if she was being used as a Soldier. This was punishment. They somehow found her and did this. Because she decided to not comply.” It was as if those words triggered something in the woman and her eyes fluttered open. She couldn’t have heard what Bucky had said, the glass was way too thick for that. With a confused look on her face, Y/N rose up and rested on her elbows. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, call Tony and Bruce,” Steve immediately contacted the A.I., but the palm Bucky rested on his chest pushing him away from the door that lead inside the woman’s confinement was message enough. “Please let me do this,” Bucky looked his best friend in the eye. He could see Steve sway the decision in his head before he let out a huff of an agreement. “If she even thinks of doing something, we’re taking her down.” Bucky didn’t reply didn’t even properly hear what the blond had said as the bulletproof glass had closed behind him and sealed in both Y/N and the ex-winter Soldier. “Do you remember me?” his words were slow and calm. Y/N cocked her head to the side, observing the new person that stood in front of her before saying the three words Bucky knew too well, the words that confirmed his worst suspicions. “Я готова отвечать.” The man’s heart hurt seeing Y/N so lost, so devout of any emotion. Her head tilted to the side in confusion as she asked the same question he used to. “Какая моя миссия?” “No,” he shook his head, walking to sit down next to her on the bed, a tender palm latching onto hers. “No missions.” Y/N’s head tilted more to the side, eyes glancing down as lines appeared onto her forehead. “Кто моя миссия?” It was almost hopeful like she wanted to be right when asking. Bucky once again dismissed it. “No more missions.” She looked utterly lost and his heart clenched at the sight. “A… a как так?” Gently, carefully, as if she was a wild animal that could run away at any moment Bucky cupped her cheeks. “You are free. That’s how. No more missions, no more Hydra. No more pain and memory wipes. You can do whatever you want, doll. This is your life. And finally, you’ll be able to live it the way you’re always supposed to have- with a choice.” The words coming out of his mouth sounded completely crazy to Y/N. How can there be no more missions? How can she be no longer a part of HYDRA? “Do you know who you are?” the man’s gruff voice pulled her out of the whirlwind of thoughts. She didn’t even have to think twice when she said ‘Зимний Солдат’. Bucky sighed, pain rippling through his chest as the love of his life had been stripped away of everything she was. “Revert to English,” Bucky hated the fact of how far they had weaselled their way into Y/N’s mind that she wouldn’t even talk to him in the same language, that she would only take orders. “What is the last thing you remember?” “I-“ she started before her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “A street,” the woman said after a while. “There were a lot of people.” “Any little detail?” the hope in Bucky’s chest had started to grow. Yes, the memory was incredibly generic, but it was something. His grip around her palm tightened, urging her on, encouraging her. “The air feels cold. I- I think it’s winter. There’s snow along the sidewalks. And then… noting. Everything’s black.” Something in his gut told him that it had to be Italy, it had to be when she had helped him escape and that just set white-hot anger to rush through his veins. Because it meant she had been turned into the soldier almost immediately after his leaving and been disposed of in the following year or so. He wasn’t even sure they’d made Y/N go on missions, she would’ve just been too much of a liability, so torture, wipes, reprogramming and then leaving her like trash felt more HYDRA style to him. “I’m sorry,” he opened his eyes to see panic written all over her face, “I can’t- there’s nothing-“ Bucky instantly shushed her, arms soothingly moving up and down her own. “It’s alright. You’re alright. I won’t hurt you. No one here will.” A spark went through her Y/E/C orbs as the girl looked into his blue ones. “Where is here?” the question was filled with fear and uncertainty, like asking such a simple thing would get her reprimanded. Then again, they used to be while in the clutches of the Nazi organisation. “Come with me, please.” He had stood up, a palm extended for her to grab. For a second there Bucky thought she would not, but then he felt Y/N slide her smaller hand into his. The familiar touch made the man’s knees almost buckle, but instead, he straightened out, giving her a reassuring smile and led her from the room. Steve was just about to protest, having watched the interaction from the other side of the cell, but one glance from Bucky and he stood down, though he did follow the two ex-assassins from a safe distance as his best friend led the girl through the tower and to the rooftop balcony. “Do you recognise this city?” Bucky looked over at Y/N as she soaked in what was New York’s skyline, warm summer air flowing through her hair. There was a colder breeze that encased them in some points, nature whispering that autumn was almost upon them. “It seems familiar. Have I had missions here before?” He sighed, saddens and anger flowing through his veins. “Yes. But most importantly you were born here. In Manhattan. This… this was your home.” “Home,” Bucky looked at how the word rolled off of Y/N’s tongue as if she could taste it. “And where is your home?” the question surprised him, thoughts being swept away by the air as he gazed over the woman. ‘You’re my home’ he wanted to answer, but against his own wishes, he only smiled looking down onto the ground. “New York, as well. Only Brooklyn,” leaning in closer Bucky’s palms settled on Y/N’s shoulders and gently he turned her towards where the area rose over the Hudson River. “There,” he pointed at the tall buildings. For a moment longer he allowed her scent fill his nose, but then he stepped away. “This belonged to you,” Bucky’s voice pulled back Y/N’s attention as he dangled a small golden necklace from his fingers before gently laying it into her open palm. Her curious gaze examined it, assessing every little detail and curve. “Who’s ‘J’?” she finally asked, making the man’s shoulders drop. He had hoped that maybe giving the little piece of memorabilia would jog her memory, but it would appear HYDRA had done a pretty thorough job. “He was someone very important to you. And you were someone very important to him.” “'Were'?” big Y/E/C eyes looked up into his blue ones. “As in the past tense?” Bucky wanted to laugh at how it had been the exact same conversation they had shared years before, only now the roles were reversed. “I’m fairly certain he still loves and cares for you.” Y/N didn’t reply, only kept her Y/E/C eyes trained on the little piece of jewellery. “What happens to me now? What are you going to do with me?” Bucky huffed, head hanging and hands clasped onto the balcony rails. “If it was up to me, you’d be able to do whatever you want. Go wherever you wish. Live your life. But unfortunately, there are some people here who still have some doubts. I don’t want to make you do anything, but I think it would be best if you stayed here at the tower for a while. I can arrange that you get a proper room, but it’d just be… safer. For everybody.” Y/N looked at New York again, watching as the setting sun bathed the never-sleeping city in pinks and yellows, adding some flaming oranges to the mix as well. “Alright,” came her soft response. “if you think that's for the best.” The relief that flooded through Bucky was immense and with a gentle tug at her hand, fingers interlocked with Y/N’s, he led them back to the bare cell. “I’ll come here as often as I can,” he promised before leaving and even though it was probably not the best of ideas, he leaned in a pressed a lingering kiss to Y/N’s forehead.

*** It was nighttime, that much Y/N had realised because when all the lights went out, even the littlest of bulbs, she was clothed in darkness. In a matter of seconds, her vision adjusted to the new circumstances and she felt her heart start to beat a little bit faster. She stood, chest heaving up and down as an irrational sense of fear flooded her veins. But then the dark-haired man from before rushed in, sliding the doors open. “It’s okay, the city’s just experiencing a blackout. The tower has backup generators, so everything works, but Stark seems to be in the mood to leave us in the night.” Y/N sat back down onto the bed, giving him a small nod. She expected Bucky to leave but instead, he stepped inside, extending his palm for her to take. “Do you want to watch the stars with me?” “W-what?” “The stars. The roof has an amazing view and it’s the first time in forever you can actually see them in New York. Usually, everything is so light polluted nothing shines through. Would you like to come?” Someone asking Y/N something was so foreign to her she just had to make sure that her ears weren’t deceiving her, that he hadn't lied to her before. “You’re giving me a choice?” Instantly Bucky’s shoulders sagged as made his way further inside the room and crouched down in front of the girl. “Doll, anything you do from now on, anything you say or who you love and care for- it’s your choice. You’re free. You’re in charge of your own life. And if you don’t want to go tonight, I underst-“ “No,” she interrupted him mid-sentence, a small smile playing on her lips, “I want to. It sounds… nice.” The beaming grin Bucky gave Y/N could blind a person and something about seeing the man happy, about seeing his face split apart in what she could only assume was excitement- it stirred something inside of her. It was like a lion rousing from sleep, growing stronger and more aware with every passing moment. They took the same way up to the rooftop, but when Bucky opened up the doors, they were not alone. Eleven other people occupied the place as well, her eyes immediately assessed, but when a soft palm settled on the woman’s lower backside, she instantly felt the stress leave her body. “Let’s go here,” he led them to a more secluded corner, where a blanket had been laid out with some pillows. Once they had settled, gazes trained to the galaxy above, in a hushed tone Y/N asked him who were all those people. “So the ginger-haired woman sitting with the goatee man is Pepper and Tony. They own this place,” Y/N’s eyes went comically wide, but Bucky only snorted. “The tall blond guy talking to the black-haired one,” Bucky pointed at the pair, “they are Thor and Loki. They’re gods from Asgard.” “Asgard?” “It’s a different realm.” She looked at him like he was messing with her, not believing the words, but Bucky only shrugged continuing on. “The other blond standing near Pepper is Steve and that man next to him is Sam. He’s the annoying one,” he whispered in a conspiratory tone while pointing to another person. “And that’s Clint- he’s annoying as well. Two bird brains.” A giggle passed Y/N’s lips, which she instantly covered by putting a hand to her mouth, but Bucky’s brilliant smile put her at ease. “That woman sitting crisscross applesauce is Natasha and the other one is Wanda. That purple man, his name is Vision and the kid is Peter. They’re the Avengers. Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.” Y/N looked up at the sky right when a bright meteor slashed through the heavens, leaving them open for a split second. Gasps from the others and murmurs of awe flutter over to the two people further away. “Heroes…" she mused, "and what does that make you?” Bucky turned his head to glance at Y/N only to be met by her intense eyes. “I’m… just Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes. Nothing more.” Immediately he noticed a shift in her face. It froze up, mouth falling open and her chest stopped moving, indicating she wasn’t breathing. “Your name is James?” In an instant Bucky’s own heart started beating out of rhythm, mind screaming that she was remembering, though with a harsh push he shoved those thoughts away. “Yes. My real name is James. Bucky is a nickname.” He let the woman process the information, almost seeing how the cogs in her brain turned and clicked back into place. “Are you-“ she finally turned her head back to face him, “are you ‘J’?” Bucky’s throat was constricted by emotions, so he could only give a nod as his answer. “Yeah,” he choked out blinking away the tears. “I- I don’t know what to say,” Y/N’s voice trembled, “I don’t know what to…” She was struggling to find the right words, so Bucky, gently as if she was made from glass cupped the woman’s cheek, wiping away a glistening pearl that slid down. “You don’t have to say anything, you don’t have to do anything. I- I do love you. And I will love you until the day everything comes to an end and the world crashes and burns. If you don’t want this,” Bucky felt bile rise in his throat, but kept on going, “and when your memories start coming back, if even then you won’t want me, you’ll be free to go your own way. Just remember that whatever life puts you through,” he caressed her collarbone where, as if it was home, the little golden pendant sat in the hollow of her neck, “there will always be someone who misses you and hopes that you are doing good. You’re the only one I’ve ev-” “Ever loved. And I know you love me,” Y/N finished the sentence wide eyes looking into Bucky’s now even wider ones. “Doll?” Thud. Thud. Thud. Her mouth stretched into a grin, tears blurring her vision, but it was enough for Y/N to crash into his embrace and pull his lips against hers in a desperate kiss. “James,” she whispered, every puzzle piece finding its rightful place in her mind and her heart.

Я готова отвечать- I’m ready to comply

Какая моя миссия?- What’s my mission?

Кто моя миссия?- Who’s my mission?

A… a как так?- But... how so?

Зимний Солдат- Winter Soldier

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