#╰┈➤ ɪꜰ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ꒰ inbox. ꒱

[impishsensei]

She'd be an easy fuck too. Wouldn't you agree, Gojo-san? A woman in her late thirties, with no man by her side. Betcha she's desperate for some... [makes crude gesture.]

"well, no. you sound delusional."

"she's only 31. and don't worry about it. i'm handling it. also, if you talk about my soon-to-be-future-wife like that again i will tear your limbs off. slowly."

[impishsensei]

Gojo. If Nanami is engaged to Utahime, doesn't this mean they're already fucking? They are adults, it's speed stages.

"HAHAHA! great joke, grayface-chan. have you met either utahime or nanami? they're both prudes waiting for marriage."

"besides, i know utahime doesn't desire him. she won't lay back and take it from him until she absolutely has to.... which is never gonna happen, by the way, 'cause she's totally gonna dump him for me. anymore ridiculous conspiracy theories?"

[impishsensei]

Gojo, I've got some spicy pics of Utahime. How much are you willing to pay?

"where the hell did you get these supposed pictures?" it's impossible. he knows it. such images don't exist, because she would never.

[impishsensei]

Utahime's pretty mid for a Jujutsu Sorcerer.

@songcurse

[impishsensei]

My feet are cold, warm them up for me?

- GETO

"i am not going to touch your feet."

[impishsensei]

if you can make geto laugh and giggle, you can make his ass clap and jiggle

"excellent point, grayface-chan!"

"hey suguru ( @cvrseduser ) come home the kids miss you."

[impishsensei]

𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐇   𝐎𝐑   𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐒 . An anonymous sorcerer asks him this question about Utahime Iori. The men were discussing the jujutsu sorcerer women.

꒰ smash or pass┆ accepting ꒱ || @songcurse

❝ is  this  some  sort  of  joke?  smash,  obviously.  multiple  times,  even.  in  one  night!  ❞ he's  a  little  too  eager  about  this.  he  was  going  to  go  into  heavier  detail,  but  he'll  spare  the  masses.

[impishsensei]

[ joker ] ― tell one random headcanon that wouldn't fit anywhere else on the list. [songcurse]

from an old headcanon ask meme that i'm too lazy to dig for

hmm well canon doesn't exactly specify what satoru's relation is to megumi and tsumiki, so in my personal iteration i portray satoru as having been their legal guardian. was he the best and most present? well no, absolutely not lmao, but he did make sure they were housed and fed very well, spoiled them rotten, and spent loads of time with them when he wasn't busy with work. i like to think that they all lived together, or he at least had them living very close to him. in his will, they are the ones he'd pass all his stuff on to in the event of his death, assuming he doesn't get married or have kids.

[impishsensei]

“   well ,   we’ve had our share of drama lately .   ” from shoko!

꒰ 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝟑𝟓𝟖/𝟐 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 ( 𝟏.𝟓 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐗 )   (   𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟑   )    [   𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂    ]┆ accepting ꒱

satoru considers shoko's words, crossing his arms over his chest while he contemplates them. he's deep in thought, brows furrowed beneath his blindfold as he tries to think of all the drama, and, well, he's drawing blanks trying to discern what shoko's talking about.

"uhh... have we? i think it's the same as usual. did you get into a bar fight without me knowing, shoko? need me to hide a body? i can just use purple to get rid of the evidence."

[impishsensei]

@rikaspurelove asked: "Put the blindfold back on, slut." ꒰ unprompted asks┆ always accepting ꒱

"how rude! do you kiss yuta with that mouth? i'm his cousin, you know?!? he's not gonna be happy you're calling his sensei-cousin a slut!"

[impishsensei]

@songcurse asked: She reaches up to cup his cheeks and briefly rests her hand on his face. She takes a step towards him before slowly lifting up his blindfold. ꒰ unprompted asks┆ always accepting ꒱

satoru's pleasantly surprised by the tenderness in utahime's touch. it's the first sensation, gentle, and it reminds him how shockingly delicate she can be. is she stubborn? yeah, as a damn bull, but that makes moments like this all the more a treasure to him. light enters his vision with his blindfold pulled up, and his smile widens.

so lovely.

"you're being extra sweet with me today. did you miss me that much? i was only gone for two weeks," he doesn't hesitate to curl an arm around her, his palm resting at the small of her back to hold her close to him. he tilts his head a little to the side, gazing fondly down at her. "i think utahime got even prettier while i was away. how do you always do that?" he's not trying to crank the charm up to the highest setting — he's being honest. he thinks helen of troy and aphrodite would be envious of her beauty.

[impishsensei]

"Why are you like this?" [songcurse]

꒰ unprompted asks┆ always accepting ꒱ || @songcurse

"like what? i have no idea what you're talking about, utahime." he knows exactly what she means. he likes to cause problems on purpose. he thinks it's funny.

[impishsensei]

“   i’m gonna be away for a while ,   starting tomorrow .   ”

꒰ 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝟑𝟓𝟖/𝟐 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 ( 𝟏.𝟓 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐗 )   (   𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟑   )    [   𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂    ]┆ accepting ꒱

"Uh huh. You barely found this out?" satoru's expression is rather mild. there's no quirk of his brow or turn of his lips. his blindfold conceals his eyes, too. needless to say, his face doesn't technically betray his feelings, although anyone that knows him would realize that a silent and not smirking satoru is one that's upset. it's hypocritical. he knows that. he'd never deny his hypocrisy. it's just different, because satoru is satoru. that's why he's hoping she only just found out, or else he'd be incredibly upset that she didn't tell him sooner.

"where are you going? how long is 'a while'? is it a mission or something else?" because if it's jujutsu-related, he'll be warping right on over to the higher ups to tell them to fuck right off if they want to keep their limbs.

[impishsensei]

Mr. Gojo. In your superior opinion, what is the perfect areola size on a woman?

꒰ unprompted asks┆ always accepting ꒱

satoru furrows his brows, taking the question from the mysterious gray-face far too seriously. he cups his chin between his thumb and forefinger, clearly deep in thought as he considers what the perfect areola size is. obviously, there's only one answer.

"as a connoisseur of the celestial gift that is a woman's body, i think i speak as an expert when i say that only a fool would think any areola, or breast for that matter, is less than perfect. regardless of size, i would lavish them with my affection and enjoy every second of it."

[impishsensei]

"I hate you." [songcurse]

꒰ unprompted asks┆ always accepting ꒱ || @songcurse

"is that so? you know, they say there is a very thin line between love and hate. are you confessing something? unfortunately for you, senpai, i like women with a little more — ," satoru pauses then, rounding out his hands above his chest and doing a little sly squeezing motion. it's a lie, of course, meant to piss her off. he thinks it's hilarious.

"better luck next time~!"

[impishsensei]

A  VALENTINE’S  APPLICATION.  your  name: moon jangmi your age: 26 your perfect date: dinner, a movie, a cafe, karaoke, and cuddling and/or sex, in that order! make out in private or in public?: either or, depending on how the mood strikes do you like to cuddle?: yes, definitely tell me something about you: i'm the cutest girl you know ;) why do you want to be my valentine?: because i love you

꒰ valentine's application ┆ accepting ꒱

❝  you  know  you  don't  even  need  to  ask!  but  i  do  think  it's  very  cute  you  took  the  time  to  fill  this  out...  sounds  very  fun,  yup!  i  think  we  can  add  a  little  more  to  that  ideal  date,  too.  i  accept,  of  course!.  ❞