#╰––– » 「 ☾ 」 𝗶𝗰. ┊ leah's more of a wolverine

[sherunsfaster]

@wastheheart continued from here

leah wasn't sure what carried her inside the cullen residence. her relationship with her mom was still strained, between her insistence on keeping the peace between leah and emily and the fact that her mother seemed completely fine with moving on with charlie so quickly. the complete fracture between the two packs may have been healed over some since renesmee was born, but thankfully jake had decided to keep the two packs separate.

entering the threshold of the cullen home, she is thankful it seems that esme is the only one home. the offer of food and a place to stay makes her feel a bit bashful. despite how long leah had let the species divide dictate her demeanor toward the cullens, esme never once got discouraged by leah ignoring the food brought to them outside or refusing to wear the clothing brought to her. those few weeks, leah lived in her wolf form far more than she had since she'd gotten it.

a slight upturn of her lips that counted as a smile these days accompanied the shake of her head at the offer for food. ❝ i'm not hungry, but -- thanks. ❞ being home was reminding her of everything she still had to lose. especially if they couldn't convince the volturi that renesmee wasn't dangerous. ❝ are you feeling hopeful? from what i've overheard -- the volturi don't seem too reasonable. ❞

[sherunsfaster]

a small amused smirk as jamie clearly felt just as awkward after openly commenting on her scent. a hint of relief washed over her too because it couldn't really be that creepy if they both had noticed how the other smelled. it was a sense after all. no different than commenting on his bright blue eyes or how his brow furrowed when he was hesitating to tell her something. at least, that was what she was going to tell herself. ❝ far from the underside of a buffalo, and points for a unique comparison. ❞

confusion was written all over her face at his comment about his sister. ❝ might work for witchy sisters. worth a shot. when's the last time you saw her? ❞ there's a bit of a flare of anger at the thought of his sister trying to force herself into his life, but she suppressed it, apart from narrowed eyes and an almost imperceptible downturn of her lips. after everything she had been forced to go through, she was a big advocate for people getting the choice of who they wanted to be, which included where they wanted to be. there's still a lot of mystery with jamie, the pair had shared almost nothing of their pasts with each other, but had grown accustomed to having someone in their present.... someone to pass the time with and talk about the stupid day to day problems with.

then jamie was talking again and she quietly listened, her eyes trained on him even when he wasn't fully looking at her. body language was a big part of communication and she was interested to see if his gave anything away... though his confession was tragic enough. she wanted to ask what his biggest regret was, but she didn't feel entitled to that information. even a spill your guts over the campfire of the vampire flesh that had just nearly killed you had to have its limits. leah wanted him to feel supported, but not pushed and she knew herself how delicate that line was. she didn't want to disappoint him. he had opened up to her and he could just as easily shut back down and pull away if she said the wrong thing. ❝ you aren't the worst thing you've done, jamie. your family should know that. we all fuck up. ❞

and those fuck-ups varied in significance and the outcomes of them could be drastic. but she had a hard time believing that the jamie she knew would do something heinous -- and if he had -- his teenage brain could partially be to blame. ❝ you deserved to be saved. i would do it again in a heartbeat. you're not a piece of shit. i know you. and you know me, right? i would never waste my time palling around with an asshole. ❞ the shapeshifter felt immense relief when she had seen that jamie was still alive. his scent in the area had pushed her to get to the area faster.

the idea that there were wolves even bigger made jamie a bit on edge, what if one of them had found him instead of leah... would they have even known though? did she have some sort of special tracking skills- was he supposed to ask more questions or just let things settle in silence between them? his racing thoughts were sidetracked when leah mentioned he smelled good... suddenly his face filtered through three different shades of red and he scratched at the back of his neck nervously. he wanted to ask- he wanted to ask her so badly what he smelled like, but his defense mechanism when nervous was to goof off and joke. "so not the underside of a buffalo, that's a relief I was worried...

you smell nice too, i mean, even with my regular human nose, you smell nice- in a not weird way, i mean i don't.. i don't sniff you- ok well.. .i feel weird now." it was always easy to tell when jamie was nervous or embarrassed because he always ended up laughing in a way that made him blush. Leah was the first person to not treat him like a completely brainless moron with no idea of what he was doing other than breathing. that was part of what seemed to draw him to her so much, her patience and understanding- her kindness and there was so much beneath the surface that he kept locked away, but pent up and he could at times sense the same with her, but there never seemed to be a good time to ask... not until then. she'd literally transformed into a wolf-- traumatic secrets didn't seem like the worst thing to share anymore.

"darn..." he replied softly watching the flames when she explained how the movies had it wrong and to give up his buffy aspirations. "I was hoping to use the stake through the heart on my vampire of a sister so she'd stop trying to track me down and drag me home." he tested the waters slightly, but still felt the pull to clam up and stop. leah's sudden shift was easily caught though and his own facial expressions did a number on trying to decipher where in her thoughts she'd gone to. he wanted to ask, he wanted to pry- but he didn't want her to snap... he didn't want to anger her or ruin what they had. but he wanted to know more- maybe he didn't need to know, but he wanted to.

"when i was seventeen um... I..I messed up really bad, it's uh..my life's biggest regret and there's nothing i can do to fix it or change it- it's kinda solidified me as um...if you hadn't found me out here today- it would've been something my family probably would've celebrated." he glanced sideways towards leah as the fire crackled around the limbs. "I'm.. i'm not a good guy- i'm actually... i'm kinda a fucking piece of shit- i'm not saying my sister's really a vampire but my mistake costed her everything and i probably didn't really deserve to be saved today." he exhaled quietly. "so, thanks for giving me a second chance even though i didn't listen the first time."

[sherunsfaster]

@wastheheart continued from here

the shifter had softened to the cullen matriarch in her time in jake's pack. maybe she hadn't admitted that out loud, but there was the potential for edward to squeal on her. though, he would more than likely want to tune out leah's thoughts as much as leah tended to tune out the thoughts of all of the guys when she was phased.

however, the fact that she cared was evident all over her face when esme came back to the house clearly injured. the scent of whoever had done this to her was burning leah's nose and being committed to memory.

❝ or i can go get jake and we can kill it. ❞ tension's been high and she wouldn't mind getting another chance at taking down a tic that had no problems hurting others -- even other vampires. while it hadn't crossed onto the reservation, that isn't really their jurisdiction anymore. and jake would want to protect the people outside of the rez too -- and the vampires living inside the house they were guarding for the sake of bella.

❝ you think it's a nomad? or a newborn? ❞ hopefully there weren't any more scorned vampires out there raising up armies, but leah wouldn't put it past the luck of their generation's pack. or the fact that the freaky vampire counsel now knew of the shifter's existence.

[sherunsfaster]

"I know it won't be the same, but I'm not abandoning you... I just -- need a break from this place. There's too much pain here for me." Being in Jake's pack and away from their childhood home for some time had given her a little bit of peace but it hadn't been enough. At the end of the day, La Push was her home and she couldn't imagine leaving forever, but she needed a breather to let herself heal from everything that had happened.

"She'll let you come up. Maybe not every weekend, but some. And I'll come home. I'll call you every day or multiple times a day if you want. I'm going to miss you so much, but I -- need to do this for me."

"It's not the same..." Now he would be alone here; alone to deal with everyone and everything that happened here now. Everyone else in their pack had already imprinted it seemed and were busy dealing with those relationships. Even his own mother had moved on, and while Seth was much more accepting of Sue's relationship with Charlie than his sister was, it didn't mean that he didn't still feel like he was losing his best friend.

"You really think mom's gonna let me just come up there whenever I want? She's already going to be down one child, I doubt she'll let me out of her sight, even on weekends..."

[sherunsfaster]

she visibly tenses when the nickname nearly slips out. it shouldn't be a surprise because it wasn't that long ago that he had sent jared of all people to fetch her from jake's pack, the only place she had found any sense of peace probably since before sam had been missing for those two weeks. everything had been so much worse instead of better when she found out the truth about everything. while sam tried to keep pda to a minimum around her, it still happened. she still had had to sit in a kitchen that should have been hers and pretend that she didn't want to tear her eyeballs out at any hint of closeness between him and emily or the talk about the wedding. a few arguments with her mom ultimately led her to agree to be a bridesmaid in the wedding and maybe she was hoping this move would give her an easy out. surely she could be easily replaced. what she wants to say is that he can't keep doing this to her, but the emotional vulnerability there was something she wanted to avoid. even after all this time, the fact that he wants her close makes a part of her heart hope that the imprint isn't as strong as the legends say... that a part of him still loved her, more than he should. and what is she but a hypocrite if she's hoping for the demise of happiness that he and emily had. ❝ our precious little parasite family is moving on, back to alaska. and jake's going with them. the pack doesn't need to be so big anymore. and i just -- i need a change. every corner of the rez reminds me of my dad. ❞ or emily, or him. ❝ --and i still want to barf every time i see charlie swan kiss my mother. ❞

SHE’S   RIGHT,      OF   COURSE.         but   then   again,      leah   was   usually   always   right.         he   learnt   that   when   they   were   together,      her   presence   often   𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐   him   in   a   way   nobody   else   had   before   her.         it’s   selfish   of   sam   to   ask   her   to   stay   here   when   he   offers   so   little   in   return,      but   knowing   that      &      having   the   strength   to   𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗   are   two   different   things.         right   now,      he’s   weak;         focused   solely   on   the   𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠   𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭   that   often   bears   down   on   his   shoulders   whenever   she   isn’t   around.         how   much   worse   that   ache   will   be   when   she’s   as   far   as   seattle.         it’s   cowardly.            —            so   far   from   the   strong,      mature   leader   people   EXPECT   him   to   be.         his   whole   life,      others   have   turned   to   him   as   a   guide   as   he   filled   the   role   of   absent   father   turned   𝚊𝚕𝚙𝚑𝚊   and   that’s   trained   him   to   be   able   to   make   the   tough   decisions,      as   long   as   they   were   the   right   ones.         not   tonight   though.         apparently   tonight,      𝘩𝘦’𝘴   𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨   𝘵𝘩𝘦   𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴,      a   rare   honesty   breaking   through   the   usual   stoic   barriers   he   keeps   up   to   avoid   the   wolves   hearing   too   much.               ＂         lee         .   .   .         ＂               fond   nickname   almost   slips   out,      catching   it   just   in   time   to   break   mid   sentence   while   taking   another   step   closer.               ＂         i   don’t   protect   you   because   you   want   or   ask   for   it.         i   protect   you   because   i         .   .   .         because   you   belong   here,      with   us.         the   pack.         ＂

[sherunsfaster]

damn this woman. how does every visit to her restaurant always leave leah in a better mood than she came in with? what if she needed an excuse to be her brooding self after dealing with another shithead hunter stumbling onto her case. ❝ afraid not, miller. gotta protect the masses from the spectacle of me being nice. this is an invite only presentation. ❞ 

She's trying to keep a straight face- she's trying so fucking hard, but she isn't straight so she fails miserably. "Can I record the speech or is that pushing a good thing too far?"

[sherunsfaster]

she huffs out a laugh at his response to her quip about him stealing the blanket. an upturn of leah clearwater's lips should be considered a successful interaction with her at any rate, especially a first interaction. the last thing she would be concerned about is losing the blanket in question. there's only one blanket in her home that she has an emotional attachment to and it is always spread out across her bed. that quilt and a few shirts are what she keeps close to her to remember her dad. if she is to believe that jamie isn't responsible for his father's death, like her gut is telling her, they are on opposing sides of a coin. her father's death was triggered by her first transformation and everyone insists it isn't her fault... and everyone blames jamie for his father's death that had originally been rumored to be a suicide.

it's hard to figure out how to toe the line with a man desperately on the run, even if she'd just saved his life. all she manages to do while she's contemplating how to extend a hand to him is roll her eyes at his attempt at a joke. she's not interested in getting the police involved. even if he is the person that the media and his half-sister claim him to be -- her cabin is almost twenty minutes out of the nearest town that actually has a police department. seems like the murder of the governor of montana is not her problem. plus, if she changes her mind, it won't take much effort for her to restrain him or knock him out and call the police. she's got the upper hand and he has no idea. she can tell he's starting to spin out before his words start spilling out, by the increased respirations and heart rate. it's unnerving to pick up on vital signs and changes in scent that should be imperceptible to her. while she appreciates it in a bind on her hunting excursions, it feels like a violation of privacy otherwise. ❝ you didn't have a phone on you, so i think it would be pretty hard for them to track you here. unless i dropped it in the snow lugging your ass here. please -- take a breath and put on my brother's clothes. ❞ she slowly stands then, grabbing her brother's clothes from the coffee table and holding them out with unwavering hands. a pair of jeans and a flannel, they were nothing special, but her insistence on not showing him where his clothes are is a desperate attempt to give her more time to address the elephant in the room.

realizing that she's never been someone for having much tact, she decides to simply be direct. there really can't be a way to soften the blow of him realizing she knows he's not some enthusiastic snow hiker that got lost in the blizzard. currently, she's situated between him and the only door within his view out of here, so maybe that will stop him from immediately bolting ❝ listen. when i got you back here and your face wasn't nearly blue and covered in snow and ice -- i recognized you immediately. the media's made sure that anyone that's scrolled on their phone or turned the news on would. most would assume that you running is a clear sign of guilt. but you have an intimate understanding of the justice system and it's failures so i don't think that's true. ❞ she pauses, realizing that she's rambling herself, but he's already been insistent on distancing himself that she's worried that he won't let her hear him out. ❝ plus, i think a man that has connections to an almost undetectable hitman wouldn't fall asleep in a blizzard after successfully crossing multiple state lines in their escape. ❞ maybe it's the stuff of movies, but she imagines someone that knew they would have to run would at least be out of the country by now.

his eyes stayed locked on hers till he picked up on her amusement and a sudden swell of defensiveness had him wrapping the blanket around himself tighter and trying to convince his body to return back to its natural state of being rather than the shade of fire hydrant red it remained. his embarrassment ate him up on full display. almost to the point he didn’t seem to notice how absolutely calm she was or how him being completely exposed didn’t faze her in the least. he glanced to the window to observe the white out beyond them and loosened his death drip on the blanket just barely. “oh… i, i, well, i…” her smooth confidence had him tripping over the simplest sentences. “i’d give it back, i wouldn’t steal it.” jamie insisted; feeling childish for even saying it, as if wandering naked in a blizzard was much better, far more intelligent.

he swallowed down his nerves but they lodged their way in his throat regardless. his dream was still painfully fresh in his mind and the tender ache became a warm sting at the corners of his eyes not long after, but he blinked it away and swallowed down another breath. her home was warm, but more than that it felt safe; it felt nostalgic in a way that made him yearn for the comforting embrace of a family he no longer belonged to- or rather, never did. jamie attempted to meet the comfort of leah’s warm brown eyes, instead he drowned in the same shame that prevented him from looking his sister in the cold, beady, and calculating daggers she called eyes. he remembered sitting down in the trees and the snow drifting over him.. there hadn’t been a cabin for miles and no matter how this woman found him or even dragged him back- he couldn’t stay. he couldn’t put her in harms way. “oh.” he repeated, smacking his palm to his forehead. he was a lawyer- not just that, attorney general- and the best he could muster was “oh”? how fucking embarrassing. “are you going to call them now? and tell them…” he didn’t want to give himself up so easily, maybe she didn’t know who he was, in fact maybe he could pass himself off as some local idiot who got lost hiking. his tone slipped into a borderline feisty and sarcastic one. ��there’s some naked guy you found out in the trees and he stole your blanket and you want it back?—the blanket, not the guy.” he didn’t mean it as a joke even if it came across as humorous.

his shoulders rose and fell harder and faster. he felt the swirling pang of grief rise to the surface again; the weight of knowing his father was dead- killed and everyone believed it was him. his eyes blurred without his permission and he knew if he blinked tears would fall so he tried to stay completely still. but he shook his head vehemently and a few splashed down over his cheeks. “thanks but…” his voice cracked with emotion and he swallowed again. “i can’t stay here, i’m… i just can’t stay here. i can put my clothes on and go if you tell me where your dryer is. i won’t take long, it’s not a good thing if i stay here i’m really sorry, i’m… you’re going to wind up in monumental fucking shit if I stay here and… and i can’t tell you why because.” jamie looked down at his cold feet and shrugged; conflicted by how much he just wanted to split open like some deep sea chasm and tell her everything terrible rotten thing buried in his soul. “because it’ll just get you in trouble if you knew who i was or why i’m out here.” he couldn’t brush the stray tears away or it would give away that it wasn’t sweat from the fire- fuck. he almost wished she would be mean to him, threaten him, it would make it so much easier to run that way, he shivered slightly feeling the cold even under his arms, between his legs and knees, even between the spaces of his fingers and toes. “i know how to check for frostbite, you don’t have to.” a hint of stubborn peeked at her. “i think i’ll just get dressed and go.”

[sherunsfaster]

the genuine smile as she watches him cycle through a few shades of red as he stumbles through his words a bit more than she did is starting to burn her cheeks. those muscles definitely don't get much practice. she's sure her mom's told her more than once that she needs to worry about her frown lines. not that leah's lived life completely devoid of joy. she's healed over from her complicated young adulthood as much as possible, but she's chosen a life for herself where she sees a lot of heinous shit. but she didn't want to change that. almost felt like she couldn't. saving people is what she's made for, after all. even if the shapeshifter gene is what messed her whole life up in the first place. except now it led her to jamie. and that's definitely her thinking like a delusional romance novelist. she doesn't even know the guy.

but it doesn't bother her. she wants to know everything there is to know about him and she's certain there's nothing he could say that would turn her away. whatever imprinting really means, she's can admit that it knows how to match people. she's certain of that as she looks into his striking blue eyes. she takes some solace in the fact that he can't hear her racing heart from the simple act of eye contact with him. ❝ usually can't go wrong with diner food. i think a burger would definitely be more filling than a bag of mediocre jerky. ❞ she's already racking her brain to figure out who she should text for advice on breaking the news to their imprint... and none of them seem like great options. if only her brother had imprinted -- though, he's infuriatingly likable and his advice wouldn't carry over.

as they get to the section of the store that has the licorice, she grabs a strawberry one similar to the one that he had and holds it out to him. definitely not necessary, but she'll let him get it for her. and she'll insist on paying for lunch at this diner. maybe he will be too stunned to speak after she breaks the news to him. but she's probably being negative. the electricity has to be mutual between them and he agreed easily to having lunch with the woman that had nearly plowed him over to get into the store. ❝ you don't have to make anything up to me. who knows, maybe this is one of those moments that was meant to happen. ❞

her slender fingers brushed his palm just barely when the change was deposited, but jamie swore- he swore he could see literally sparks fly. fuck. how was he supposed to explain the suddenness with which he felt like a teenage boy in the wake of girl giving him the actual time of day? he felt like he couldn't stop smiling; she had a magnetic personality and it was a bit like his center of gravity had shifted to hinge more on... her? was that normal or was the licorice lasso some sort of edible he didn't check the label for before starting to consume. if it was the stuff was potent if he already felt it this strongly.

"oh a neighbor two states away... when you're there- not that i live in montana anymore...i mean i do, just not right now-- i've been traveling." he stumbled throughout his entire attempt to share similarities with her and the way his face transitioned three different shades of red in ten seconds had to be a record somewhere. he could only hope she didn't pick up on how completely terrified he was. jamie wasn't usually one to go out of his way to talk to anyone, certainly not the women in convenient stores just passing through. it was like being an innocent field mouse caught in one of those glue traps except he had no desire to be set free.

when leah accepted his offer of the candy though he felt that warm admiration bubble back up in his lungs- almost foaming at the mouth with excitement when she asked him to lunch. his fist squeezed the packaging so hard his knuckles nearly turned white and his eyes- if reality allowed could've started radiating literal heart emoji's straight out into the air around them. "y'know what, yeah, yeah I'd like that. lunch at a diner sounds a lot more fulfilling than a bag of jerky for sure. 's'gotta be better than this giant rope of licorice too." he smiled again, swimming in the warmth of her eyes. "sorry, outta luck on the local thing here too... but the guy at the counter said the diner with the big blinking 'eat here' arrow over it was the place to go, or maybe he just said to... eat there." he exhaled nervousness again. "if you're willing to risk it then i am too." he still had the intention of getting her the gas station snacks regardless though. "come on, i'll... get your snack too to- make up for running into you- and in case the diner sucks." he laughed that time.

[sherunsfaster]

he's only inciting more concerns in her mind about his past, but she covers up her curiosity. maybe one day she would let him know that it was okay for him to be open with her about anything, but for now she would let it go. she wasn't entitled to his past and can only hope that he has found some peace separating himself from it. leah had started to heal from the toxicity pack life had been and the haunting guilt of her father's death just from joining jake's pack. despite playing guard dog to the leeches with the knowledge that sam's pack would kill them too if they had to, she had some happy moments for the first time in almost two years at that point. ❝ well i'm still here, even after you decided to wander into the forest after i told you not to. so i guess you'll have to up your dumb stuff game. ❞ it's meant as a joke, a hope to lighten the mood a bit and give him an easy out to stop reflecting on the past if he wants it.

a small wave of relief encompasses her to see him talk animatedly about his childhood. at least jamie did have some memories that he held fondly. ❝ look at us, finding more similarities between us buried in our cagey pasts. maybe if you're lucky i'll invite you over next time i make my dad's fish fry. everyone on the rez was itching for an invite to harry clearwater cookouts on those rare sunny saturdays. ❞ her smile reaches her eyes, already craving the food herself, though that's an easy feat for her metabolism.

❝ not boring. ❞ she laughs along, with a shake of her head. ❝ guess i'll have to see the cliffs for myself before i question your sanity though. the ones at home can be pretty tall and the water pretty choppy. ❞ the wolf pack definitely only added to the rumor mill when the guys had made jumping off the cliffs regardless of the weather their favorite way to pass the time.

“oh.” jamie laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck to calm himself down when she explained that not every mistake had to be punished. that was definitely news to him. in a hollow attempt to sound like he didn’t grow up under the iron fist of an abuse father or sister he tagged on an, “right— i mean, i know that… just, you know the dumb stuff i did before i knew it was dumb, that stuff.” he only made it sound worse, but he convinced himself it sounded like knowledge rather than him suffering for merely existing in a home that was never welcome to him.

the mention of fishing drew his attention and an excited smile formed on his expressions, lighting up his eyes once more. “i used to fish with my brothers all the time growing up, we’d camp out down by the river and spend the days chasing the currents and everything swimming in them.” jamie smiled at leah again, wanting more and more to ask her more about herself. she was growing on him quickly like moss on rocks. everything she shared made him feel even closer to understanding their bond and the fact she didn’t view him as some evil creature who only focused on himself— it was new to him, to not have someone want to hang around without wanting something in return. she was becoming more important to him than he knew then.

he tossed his head back with a laugh and shrugged. “I have a healthy respect for the water just not for myself.” he joked. “what do you mean, are you calling me boring— don’t i give off a desperation for adrenaline and adventure?” he asked with another laugh.

[sherunsfaster]

she truly couldn't be more excited and was even more grateful that the pack mind link didn't work when they weren't phased. that sounded like straight hell. she had gotten okay at tuning it out and keeping her mind busy to not let her mind wander while phased, but she couldn't imagine dealing with it when all the time. ❝ probably only long enough for it to heal. maybe he'll at least run back to his imprint with his tail in between his legs. or whine to sam about it. could be risking supervised patrols with sam. ❞ at least that was a punishment leah was exempt from. when she was getting mouthy with the others usually sam kept her on with her brother.

"Hysterical," She snorted. "Right. Well, he'll get a taste of hysterics later, that's for fucking sure." Angel couldn't care less about what any of the boys, save for Jacob, thought of her or the way she handled her anger. As Leah pointed out, she bore the 'unfortunate' curse of being a woman first & a member of the pack later. That perception of them was never going to change in any significant way. Instead of changing to fit their conception of who she should be & how she should act, the young shifter would unapologetically be herself. "Gonna make every second count," She said.

"Maybe if I split up his lip enough, that'll teach him to keep fucking quiet."

[sherunsfaster]

❝ exactly. nobody knows they haven't been living life until they've had an afternoon with lively jamie. ❞ relationships where people appreciated her sarcasm and dry humor were always appreciated. the super mushy stuff made her uncomfortable. it had all been used up with sam and despite being over her teenage love story, the darkened memories of broken promises were impossible to separate from spoken proclamations of emotions and adoration. but she had always been a bit of a teasing person. her dad had been quite the jokester and passed some of that along to her.

❝ please, at least the kids with their vapes smell like cotton candy and watermelon. he could at least be polite with a vanilla cigar once in a while. ❞ she was actually looking forward to the beach. the sound of the waves always brought her back home, much like the sound of the rain pounding on the roof of her cabin when it downpoured. it was nice to be at a point in her life where the sights and sounds that reminded her of her childhood didn't also twist into reminding her of the terrible last two years of her teenhood. ❝ come in with you? hmm. maybe we should stop by my place quick. if you think you'll be able to brave the cold water. ❞ she wouldn't mind going in her underwear, but other beach-goers would definitely have something to say about that.

Jamie's face lit up at her sarcastic quip and he laughed with a shake of his head. "You know, I knew there was a reason I liked you, Leah... you really understand the the plight of humanity that hasn't been graced by my existence yet." he laughed again, his cheeks a warm shade of lively red. Her banter was the next best thing alongside her willingness to befriend him. He'd been so quiet and closed off when they'd first introduced themselves, it had just been one of those odd tip toeing around each other meetings and he didn't know where it changed. But he was more than happy it did, what it'd evolved to was something more than he had words for.

"Come on now, you can't tell me you don't love smelling that burnt.. shit scent he puffs out all night." Jamie teased again, sticking his hands into his pockets and rocking back and forth on his heels for a moment. "I brought blankets if it gets too cold and towels too if... you wanted to come in with me." his small smile was slightly devious like somehow he was just planning to drag her into the tide with him even if she screamed and refused.

[sherunsfaster]

❝ i'm happy you feel comfortable enough to share with me. and hey, i have a great memory. so rather than his presence being erased, you've spread it. now i know lee was your confidant, someone that liked to celebrate and live life. someone that may have never met him otherwise now knows about him. that's something. ❞ she had held onto the pictures of her dad and all of his clothes that still smelled like him with a death grip. it was hard when she noticed her father's scent disappearing from their home and his belongings. there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think about how much she would give up to change that moment of her life.

❝ if you ever need to -- talk about him. or you're having a hard day missing him... you can aways talk to me. everyone experiences loss differently, but i understand it. my dad -- i lost him when i was nineteen. ❞ he had a heart attack when he witnessed my first phase because i was the first female to do so in the history of the tribe. those words were left unsaid. she may have mostly come to peace with everything that had happened, was now on good terms with all the guys back home... but she only wanted to let jamie know that she could relate to him, not overshadow his moment with her trauma. trauma that -- apart from her father's death -- people may consider rather juvenile.

leah placed her warm hand on his shoulder and gently rubbed it a couple of times as he explained that he felt obligated to go to the party. ❝ don't apologize for sharing, i'm happy to listen... and you don't have to go just because you told them. you can say something came up, use me as an alibi. i had a flat tire an hour away. something like that. ❞ she finished the drink in front of her and flagged the bartender down to close out their tabs. either way, she didn't think they'd be sticking around much longer. ❝ or we can go, make an appearance, and the second you're ready to get out of there we'll leave. after i kick your butt in cornhole because i don't need your assist on that. ❞

"you’re the first person I ever told about … Lee." jamie said his name with reverence and deep rooted sadness. "I’ve uh… i've always been too scared or- paranoid to talk about him. i though that talking about him might, it might wear away the memories of him or erase him from this world even more.” He pinched the skin between his thumb and forefinger with his other hand, running circles with the pad of his thumb over the skin; trying to brace himself for what felt like a sudden tsunami of emotion hurling right towards him.

"and I don’t want him to fade away, I don’t… I miss him.” his eyes watered but he kept the tears at bay, not one to really show emotions or cry for that matter. repress and deny; that was his motto. courtesy of john dutton himself. "I miss him a lot. Him and I shared more secrets with one another than anything else; there was just, stuff that we couldn’t share with the rest of the family; not in a way they’d understand. and I miss that, and I wish it would stop hurting." he laughed to himself, but it was a broken noise that shook just as much as the rest of his voice.

he hadn't planned on telling leah anything, certainly not that much anyway, he didn't want to weigh her down- she meant too much to him and he didn't want to jeopardize their friendship if he got too real. "and i really don't wanna go to a party where people are gonna be happy and celebrating and getting drunk because all i'll think about is how lee liked parties and he liked celebrating and he liked... life and he didn't even get to live his." he finally looked at leah that time and rubbed the space of skin along his collarbone and shoulder. "sorry for the overshare." he glanced back to his knees. "but i told them i'd go so... if you want you can..be my plus one, I'll let you beat me in cornhole..." he said the last few words in a doofy sing song tone to try and mask any grief that was still lingering at the door.

[sherunsfaster]

leah almost smiles when bella agreed that the boys deserved it. it was nice to talk to someone with sense, rather than the imprintees that drooled over their imprinters as much as it happened the other way around. leah knows she didn't handle everything in the best way and has built up quite the reputation for herself. not to mention furrowed brows and narrowed eyes were almost a constant staple in her facial features -- especially when her mom was flirting with her dead dad's best friend aside from billy black mere feet away from her.

❝ i guess i do too, you're right. but seth is important to me and being away from home is -- harder than i expected. ❞ leah surprises herself with admitting that to bella of all people, but before now, her entire life has been on the rez in the same house. while she wasn't even a two hour run away in wolf form from home, she still worries that the guys would need her when the next vampire catastrophe happened and she wouldn't be able to get back in time.

❝ maybe if they wait a little bit longer before that stage out of respect for my dad i'll accept it. ❞ it's nice to see her mom smile and laugh again since it all happened, but when her tongue is thinking faster than her mind, leah almost catches herself asking if something was bubbling under the surface before harry's death with how seamlessly the pair seemed to start flirting.

bella can’t hear leah’s tone, but she can read her lips. she can see her shifting facial expressions, and she pays attention to her body language. she can tell the other girl is being sincere. as sincere as she could be, at least. bella relaxes a bit, and a half-smile tugs at the corner of her lips. “true, they do deserve it sometimes,” she agrees. her voice is soft compared to the lively background chatter, but from what jake’s told her, the shifters have really good hearing. she clears her throat at leah’s observation and shrugs her shoulders.

“i do have a lot on my plate,” bella admits. school, volunteering at the forks library, her babysitting gig for some extra money, maintaining the house … but being busy and having all these opportunities and goals and dreams fueled her. bella had never been happier. where she was in her life right now? she felt alive. “besides — everyone has their own stuff too, you know? i’d say you’re pretty busy yourself,” she points out. her face grows more relaxed at the comment about charlie and sue. she even jokes back.

“let them flirt. i like seeing charlie happy. who knows, maybe soon there will be wedding bells and then we’ll be sisters.”

[sherunsfaster]

guess the car keys are only a formality. a means to get her to somewhere to shift, though, liv's not going to be easy to track. the best she can do is start at the last place she knew she'd been and go from there. though she's guessing she'd be grasping at straws, leah tries liv's phone again, only to be met with the immediate sound of the voicemail robot.

frustration nearly breaks the screen of her phone, but she pulls it in just in time as she rounds the corner to her car. slender fingers feel for her phasing go bag with a change of clothes on the floor of the passenger seat of her car before she peels out toward the thick forestry at the edge of town. can't be too careful with the unfortunate side of hasty phasing.

"that's what i've been trying to tell you! i don't know where i am! the gps won't settle on a location, and my magic-" liv's voice cut out as the line went dead, her phone along with it. won't work. her magic wouldn't work.

[sherunsfaster]

she's impressed by angel's resolve. at one time, leah and sam had their own plans of what getting off the rez meant. none of it seemed to matter now. the dreams of the two teenagers that should have been sleeping instead of sneaking out to look at the stars sounded kind of naive looking back. it hasn't even been that long, but neither of those teenagers exist anymore. sam's no longer the lost kid, desperate to a tie to the quileute community since his dad abandoned him. he's found purpose in being the alpha, especially when jake declined taking over when he joined. sam's family within the pack -- and when she steps back from her own mutilated feelings about the imprint, she doesn't want to take that from him.

and leah? well, there's been a lot of dark days. her mind did well at convincing herself that if she happened to not be around anymore it wouldn't matter to anyone. seth got through the loss of their dad, smiling all the while. her mom seems to be preoccupied with getting through her grief with charlie of all people and she's not positive if they're teetering toward betraying harry. the rest of the pack is downright caustic to her most of the time and she won't deny that she's not fed into it. at least they only bother to listen to her thoughts about sam and emily if she's biting enough to them in return. she doesn't want to hear anyone agree with her that her dad's death was indeed her fault.

then there's angel. the one saving grace, taking away the burden of the whispers about leah being the only female shifter in history. it seems their generation is cursed with firsts and bigger things than those in the past. she's furious with their ancestors for not taking the cullens out in the first place. then none of them would be in this mess.

despite leah finding comfort in angel's company and an ease of the multiple burdens she's been carrying since sam first phased, she is a little surprised at the somewhat timid invite. but then again, leah's not made life for anyone in the pack easy. everyone's found themselves on the wrong end of a lashing from leah at least once. whether it be verbal or through the mind link.

she tries to hide the surprise in her eyes, though. no sense in ruining a moment of unguarded honesty. ❝ that sounds nice. i mean, seeing the beautiful parts of the country that haven't been lost to the conquest of commercialism. and getting paid to help preserve it and yell at unruly teenagers? sounds like you do have it all figured out. -- and i wouldn't mind tagging along -- if you're serious about taking the doom squad on the road. ❞ the slightest upturn of her lips at her joke. clearly, leah's still having a hard time at being fully vulnerable herself.

"I'm going to California."

Angel is as sure of it as she is breathing. Leah isn't the only one yearning to find her place outside of the pack, let alone outside of La Push, but the young shifter is well aware of how badly she needs to. They both do. Plagued by an unrequited love and a family barely held together at the seams, either by death or divorce. Two brothers, one fraught with naivety and blind optimism, the other teeming with unbridled anger and hubris, verging on stupidity. In the middle, two lost souls just trying to make it day by day. It's like the two women are different sides of the same coin.

A rusted, worn-down coin in desperate need of a shine.

"Maybe Southern, maybe East. M'not sure yet." She gnawed on her bottom lip in thought. "Being a Park Ranger sounded cool. Somewhere like Yosemite or uh, fuckin'- what's it called- oh, Joshua Tree." Angel's chocolate brown eyes met Leah's in a rare moment of vulnerability. "You could..." She cleared her throat, the words nearly lost on the warm wind.

"You could come with me? If you want, or whatever."

[sherunsfaster]

it seemed that she struck a nerve, which was what leah was going for. one look at the blonde and it would be apparent to anyone that she was far from the barbie type. ❝ you know what they say... if the shoe fits. ❞ a stupid saying, in leah's opinion, but she was hoping not backing off would help her get the blondie to leave town.

❝ these vampires are dangerous. a lot of hunters don't seem to know there's more than one type. ❞ leah could tell off scent alone which ones she would need to burn and beheading them without the aid of phasing would be an absolute bitch. this was one of those times. she just hoped she wasn't about to run into any familiar faces. ❝ this is me letting you know you're in over your head here. ❞

Claire may have just walked away and let the stranger handle the vampires, after all she had no real personal reason to need to hunt them herself. But, she was no Barbie. She refused to be someone that would just be played with by others. "Barbie? That the best you could come up with?"

It wasn't often that Claire came across other hunters that she didn't know. The blonde crossed her arms, "Looks like we'll have to see who gets to those vampires first. I didn't come out here, just to be told that someone else called dibs on them." Even if Jody would probably be delighted for Claire to simply return home without going into a vampire nest.