#“what would you do if you meet your younger self” -feat sakura

[wisteriashouse]

a little too much.

pairing: rengoku kyoujurou x reader

genre: fluff, fluff, more fluff

word count: 4414

remarks: request by @redgokus​!! i hope you like it, although i’m afraid i messed up the request a little 😅

Sometimes, you find yourself really regretting your life decisions.

Why, you ask yourself over and over, as Mitsuri hums happily behind you, running a comb through your hair. Why on earth did you agree to go to a festival in the middle of town, when you could just be home where it was peaceful and quiet, eating wagashi and sipping sake on the engawa? Why would you agree, out of your own free will, to do this?

Demons have their Blood Demon Arts, allowing them to perform supernatural feats and possess inhumane strength. They can slice rock with a swipe of the hand, regrow cut limbs in the blink of an eye. All sorts of spells and magic, defying reality and pushing the boundaries of one’s imagination. 

If you were ever a demon, you think, all you want is the ability to turn down Rengoku Kyoujurou for just once in your life.

“I’m so glad that you’re coming with us today!” Mitsuri - the Love Pillar - says in a sing-song voice, sweet and bubbly. Her hands are gentle as they tug lightly at your hair, pulling it into a simple but fashionable up-do from what you can see in the looking glass in front of you. Your reflection’s lips are pressed together in a neutral expression, but only you can see the panic reflected in your own eyes. A Pillar is doing your hair. A Pillar! “Rengoku-san always talks about you, but I’ve rarely seen you around! I’m really excited to get to spend the festival with you!”

You nod awkwardly at her words, actions stilted in your attempt not to ruin her hard work. Damn you, Kyoujurou.

“It’s a good thing you don’t see me much.” You manage to say, fingers playing with the hem of your kimono to settle your nerves. Your throat is dry. “That means you don’t get injured often.”

Mitsuri laughs brightly at your words, and you stare at your lap. Was what you said... amusing, somehow? You were being serious... “Because you’re a healer at the Butterfly Mansion?” She tugs your hair into a knot, securing it in place with a small arsenal of silver pins. “I rarely see you around! I do wonder how you and Rengoku-san met!”

Of course she would rarely see you about. Even if Mitsuri did visit the Butterfly Mansion once in a while, it’s unlikely that she would catch a glimpse of you. Interaction with the patients is something you leave to the other girls, such as Aoi. You, on the other hand, prefer staying behind the scenes, mixing salves, mending clothes, doing the washing and such.

It’s only Kyoujurou. Only Kyoujurou somehow managed to notice you slipping in and out of his room to change his sheets and bring him his daily medication during his occasional stay at the Butterfly Mansion, prompting him to seek you out one day to thank you for your hard work - much to your shock.

Since Kyoujurou rarely likes staying at the Butterfly Mansion when he’s injured (he much prefers recuperating in the Rengoku Estate where he can spend his time with his younger brother, Senjurou), you often have to travel there to deliver his medicine and change his bandages for him, leading to the formation of a somewhat strange friendship. Over time, you find that the Flame Pillar has somehow buried himself deep into your heart, his kindness and passion only nurturing the quietly blooming affections that you have for him into fruition. 

And now, well, here you are. 

“Well... it’s a long story.” You wave it off hesitantly. It’s not very interesting, but it is precious to you, and a story that you hold close to your heart. You catch Mitsuri’s pout in the looking glass. 

“That’s too bad, I was quite interested!” Mitsuri chimes brightly, slipping a hairpin into the up-do. Tiny jeweled butterflies dangle down the side, tinkling like silver bells and wind chimes. “All done! You look absolutely breathtaking. I’m sure the rest will be excited to meet you too!”

You take a deep breath, trying to remain positive. “Ah, right... the others.”

You see, Kyoujurou hadn’t mentioned any others when he’d invited you to the festival. The thought of heading to a festival with Kyoujurou had already made you unbearably nervous - you were far more used to quiet nights cleaning his wounds with casual chatter, wrapping dumplings with Senjurou or even stargazing on the rooftops. It was only today that you’d found out it wouldn’t just be the two of you, but all of the Pillars of the Demon Slayer Corps heading out to enjoy the festival. Your nerves had only grown tenfold, from a sweet fluttery feeling in your chest to something approaching dread.

Once again, with all of your heart, damn you, Kyoujurou.

“You don’t mind, do you? Oyakata-sama said it would be a good idea for the Pillars to bond by going to the festival together, but I already have plans with you. If you mind, of course, I could go alone with you instead.” Kyoujurou had told you apologetically this morning, right after his Pillar meeting ended. The man had run all the way to the Butterfly Mansion just to inform you in person instead of sending a kasugai crow over, and you found your heart wavering when you looked at his flushed cheeks, the apologetic expression on his face. “I’m truly sorry about this! I was looking forward to spending time with you.”

“No, no, of course it’s alright!” You’d found yourself saying, while your mind screamed otherwise. “I’d love to meet the other Pillars as well!”

What in the name of Kami were you saying?

Too late to back out now, you’re left with no choice but to fiddle with the pin in your hair, swallowing the nerves rising in your chest. “Just one festival.” You mutter to yourself under your breath. “Shinobu-san will be there too, so it can’t be too bad.”

At least, you hope it won’t be.

>>>

The festival is... loud, to put it lightly.

It is also crowded, noisy, packed with people, full of bright lights and colours, and while you can appreciate it from a distance, you’ve never really seen the appeal in attending without the other girls from the Butterfly Mansion. It’s not that the festival is awful, or that you hate it - it can just be a little overwhelming without your usual friends. Nervous, you fidget with the sleeves of the yukata that Mitsuri had lent you for the festival as you wait for the other Pillars to arrive. 

It’s a little more elaborate than the nurse’s shift you’re used to wearing over your clothes. You chew your bottom lip, wondering what Kyoujurou will say when he sees you. Now that you think about it, he’s never really seen you dressed up before-

“I’m sure Rengoku-san will think that you look great!”

A little surprised, you glance to the side, where Mitsuri is beaming at you. Dressed in a festive kimono with sakura motifs that matches her pink hair, she looks absolutely radiant in the light of the lanterns hanging overhead from the cherry trees. “That shy look on your face you have when you’re thinking about Rengoku-san is so adorable! I absolutely love it!”

 You panic in an instant, staring at her with wide eyes. “What do you mean, shy? And how would you know what I’m thinking about?”

Mitsuri giggles. “So, you were thinking about him?”

Before you can run straight back to the Butterfly Mansion in embarrassment, the Love Pillar reaches over to grab your hand, squeezing it lightly. “There’s no need to be so nervous.” Her voice is incredibly soothing to listen to, sweet and airy as cotton candy. “From how Rengoku-san talks about you, he’s incredibly fond of you. And besides,” she gestures at you with a bright smile on her face, “you look great!”

Is that so? Ignoring the slight burn at your cheeks from her compliments, you look down into a puddle that the afternoon rain had left behind, eyes fixed on your own reflection. 

“Thanks, Mitsuri-san.” You say softly, a tiny smile fighting its way onto your lips. The Love Pillar beams at you cheerfully, and you think, for just a moment, that maybe tonight won’t be so bad-

“Oh, there you are!”

At the sound of Kyoujurou’s jovial voice, you turn around to greet him, your heart pounding in your chest from excitement, before you catch sight of the entire group he’s brought with him. Your words die in your throat.

Ahh... you forgot that there were nine Pillars.

One of your feet shifts back in an instinctive flight response, but before you can retreat, Kyoujurou is already approaching you, a huge grin on his face as he calls your name.

“You’re here!” He beams at you, and your breath catches in your throat at just how handsome he looks. Instead of his usual half up-do, he’s put it in a short, loose braid that falls over his left shoulder, tied off with a red ribbon, and the crimson yukata that he’s wearing is vibrant enough to catch the eye of passers by as they walk past. “You look absolutely amazing!”

You touch the hairpin self-consciously. “Says the one who’s turning heads left and right just by walking by.” You mumble under your breath, but you can’t help the heat tinting your cheeks. At your words, Kyoujurou grins brightly - so radiant that it puts the lights of the festival to shame.

“Thank you!” Is that a hint of red you see on his own cheeks? Before you can look more carefully, however, he grabs your hand and tugs you excitedly towards the rest of the group. “Come, come! I want you to meet the rest!”

Your heart kicks into overdrive in an instant. You’re not mentally prepared for this! “Kyo, wait, wait, wait-”

Before you can so much as get another word out, you find yourself standing in the middle - the middle! - of a circle of Pillars. Heart rapidly thumping in your chest, you clutch onto Kyoujurou’s sleeve in a panic, completely missing the way Mitsuri’s eyes sparkle in delight at the sight. 

“This is the friend I was telling all of you about!” Kyoujurou says, voice loud and clear as he squeezes your hand lightly. You’re not sure if you want to die from his touch or die from embarrassment. “Here, [name], this is-”

“I know the Pillars. Everyone in the Corps does.” You squeak out awkwardly with a bow, glancing up at the human mountain that is Himejima Gyomei. The Stone Pillar currently towers over you - he looks like he could crush you with his bare hands. He somehow seems to realise that you’re looking at him, and gives you a slight inclination of the head even though his eyes do not look at you. 

“It is nice... to meet one of Rengoku’s... friends...” 

“Not very flamboyant, are you?” You glance up at the man on your right. The second you catch sight of the jeweled headband, you immediately know who he is - Uzui Tengen, Sound Pillar. “I expected more from one of Kyoujurou’s buddies!”

You pause, unsure how to respond. “I’m sorry for the... disappointment?”

“Now, now, don’t say that, Tengen!” Kyoujurou laughs boisterously, pulling you closer to his side. You can feel the warmth coming off his body, like the heat of a burning brazier. “This is one of my precious friends, I won’t have you speaking like that! Well then, shall we go?”

Bowing to the rest of the Pillars present, you catch Shinobu’s eye and she gives you a little smile of her own, the sight comforting you enough to calm your nerves. 

“Why the fuck am I here with the lot of you? I should be spending this time training.” The scarred, white haired man (Wind Pillar, Shinazugawa Sanemi, your mind supplies you) snaps. There’s a fierce scowl on his face that is frankly quite intimidating. “I’m heading back-”

“You promised Oyakata-sama you would at least spend the festival with us.” Himejima cuts in calmly, and Shinazugawa’s eyes narrow, displeased. After a moment, he grunts and stalks over to the nearest stall where they’re selling tiny glass bottles of brightly coloured konpeito. “Let’s just get this done and over with.”

The second the Wind Pillar moves, the rest of the group follows after him in a manner not unlike a small flock of sheep. Before you can lose your nerves completely, you feel Kyoujurou squeeze your hand once more and glance up at him in surprise. The grin that he gives you can’t be good for your heart. 

“Hey, don’t listen to what Tengen said.” Kyoujurou says, lightly bopping you on the nose. Warmth spreads down your cheeks, a pleasant buzz dancing along your skin when you meet his gaze, filled to the brim with affection. “You’re perfect the way you are. There’s nothing about you that you need to change.”

You blink at him for a moment, before a tiny smile tugs at your lips. “Okay.”

With that, the two of you follow the rest of them to the konpeito stall, his sleeve still tightly held in your hand.

>>>

The Pillars are rather... loud, to put them lightly, too.

Or rather, Uzui and Kyoujurou are loud. Boisterous and chaotic, you can tell that they’re easily the life and noise of the group. At the side, Himejima’s prayer beads are wrapped around Tokitou’s wrist to prevent the absentminded Mist Pillar from simply wandering off in a daze. The Snake Pillar is browsing a small stall with trinkets together with Mitsuri, who’s giggling lightly at everything he says - now that has you blinking a little in surprise.

The Snake and Love Pillar? You would never have thought, yet it makes sense... somehow.

“I don’t want your stupid ohagi!”

You turn around in surprise to see Shinazugawa yelling at the Water Pillar, who’s holding a box of ohagi in his hands and wearing a blank expression on his face. “Uhm...”

“Ignore the two of them.” An amused hum sounds next to your ear, and you turn around in surprise to see Shinobu watching the sight before her with amusement. “Rather funny, aren’t they? Tomioka-san always tries his best, but it’s not his fault that he has the personality of public latrine.”

“Shinobu-san,” you begin to chide, but Shinobu simply laughs, falling in step next to you as her butterfly haori flutters with the wind.  “So, Rengoku-san dragged you out on this one? I never would have thought I’d see you stepping out of your comfort zone like this.”

You raise your hands to cover your cheeks in an attempt to hide your flush, but you’re sure that the Insect Pillar can see straight through you. “It’s not my fault I can’t turn him down.” You say quietly, glancing over at where he’s chatting animatedly with the Sound Pillar at the head of the group, his arms stuffed to the brim with candy and snacks. “I just wanted to spend a little more time with him. That’s all.”

Shinobu’s hand rests lightly on your head. “You look a little exhausted though.” She says with a smile, her purple eyes shining like gems in the dim light. A little hesitant, you nod your head. “Well, it’s just a bit draining being around so many people.” You gesture behind you, where Kyoujurou is now holding Shinazugawa back from throwing hands with Tomioka. The box of ohagi is flattened on the ground. “You get what I mean.”

Shinobu hums lightly, tapping a finger against her lips in contemplation before she takes you by the shoulders, steering you away from the din. “Here, how about you take a little break by the riverside first? You can rejoin us when you’re ready.” You glance over your shoulder at her, a little panicked. 

“Ahh, but Kyoujurou-”

“I’ll tell him where you’ve gone, no worries.” Shinobu reassures you, patting you on the back. You take one more glance at the ruckus behind you, before you bow to Shinobu, apologetic. “Sorry for the trouble.”

She just shoos you away, and you quietly sneak away from the din.

When you finally reach the river, a short distance from the festival, you sit yourself at the riverbank, letting out a small sigh of relief. Most of the noise from the festival that manages to make it here is muffled by the sound of running water, and after a moment of quick contemplation, you decide to slip off your sandals and dip your feet into the cool water.

Humming lightly to yourself, you let your thoughts wander. Although you hate being dragged out on surprise trips, it surprisingly isn’t so bad when Kyoujurou is there with you. On a side note, you do wonder if he knows how terrible you are with large groups, how quickly you tire in their constant presence. Kyoujurou is kind almost to a fault, surely he wouldn’t do something like this if he were aware - but as much as he is kind, he is also a little oblivious to some things around him.

You give a little snort at your own thoughts. Such as the affections you’ve had for him for a while now, you think.

“There you are!”

Startled, you give a little squeak and whirl around to see Kyoujurou jogging towards you, a big grin on his face. As a result of your hasty motion, you slip a little on the wet rocks and wobble dangerously, heart dropping into your chest with a gasp.

“No worries, I’ve got you!” Kyoujurou chuckles, grabbing and steadying you before you can fall into the river. You blink up at him in surprise as he seats himself next to you, tossing his own sandals to the side. He puts his own feet in the water before he yanks them out in an instant, a shiver running up his body. “Cold!”

You cover your mouth to stifle your laughter. “What are you doing here, Kyoujurou?”

The man beams at you. “Looking for you, of course! Kochou told me that you were here.” Returning his attention to the river, Kyoujurou carefully dips his toes into the water before submerging his feet completely. You look at your bare feet, side by side with his larger ones. The sight makes you smile, for some reason. “Did you... perhaps not enjoy today?”

“Eh?” You look up in surprise to see Kyoujurou gazing at you seriously, brows furrowed. “No, not at all! Tonight was very fun!”

He tilts his head as he looks at you, those burning golden eyes searching you for an answer. “But you left.” He says simply, and suddenly you feel a warm hand encasing yours, thumb stroking over your knuckles. You look down to see his fingers wrapped around your hand, his hand practically engulfs yours. “You know that I would treasure your honesty greatly, [name].”

How are you to refuse him when he asks you like that? Unfair, really...

“It’s not that I didn’t enjoy today. I really liked meeting Mitsuri-san and the others.” You tell him quietly, squeezing his hand back. He listens attentively, leaning close to hear you more clearly. “It was just... a bit too much for me, all at once.”

“Too much?”

You nod at the puzzled expression on Kyoujurou’s face. It’s endearing, you think. He looks like a puppy, eager to please and understand. “A bit too many new people, a bit too much noise, too many things happening.” Your explanation is crude at best, but Kyoujurou nods slowly in understanding. 

“Ahh, I get it. Senjurou is similar to you in this way as well, I think.” He hums for a moment, rubbing his chin in thought, and you turn back to the river, a little nervous. You know that he isn’t that sort of person, but what if he thinks that you’re boring now? Not a fun person to hang out with? While you’re mulling over this, pensive, you suddenly feel a weight rest on your shoulder.

“K-Kyoujurou?” 

The wilder, untamed strands of his hair that have escaped the braid tickle your cheek, his hot breath fanning gently over your collarbone. “I apologise for today. Let’s stay like this until the festival is over.” He says, and your heart skips a beat as you look at the peaceful smile on his face, his eyes shut and chest rising evenly with each breath. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” You try to protest. “But the festival-”

“My original intention was to spend time with you, in the first place.” You glance down at him contentedly splashing the river water with his toes. Warmth fills your chest, airy and light. “It does not matter what we are doing, as long as I have your company. There’s no need to worry about the rest of them, I’m sure Kochou will handle everything. Instead,” his eyes suddenly flicker open to hold your gaze, your noses barely inches apart. “I would like that you would speak honestly with me. Your likes and dislikes, your hobbies and the things you love to do, I wish to know all about them. More about you.”

You wonder if he can hear your heart pounding in your chest like it is in your ears, but nod quietly in response. Warmth dances along your body, radiating outwards from where his breath touches your bare skin, wrapping you in it like a comforting blanket. “Alright.” Tentatively, you rest your cheek atop his head. His hair is so soft. “Everything you want to know, I’ll tell you with time.”

“That would make me the happiest man in the world.” Kyoujurou laughs, and you can feel his chest rumble with it. “I’ll hold you to it, then.”

>>>

You feel like you haven’t seen Kyoujurou for weeks.

Climbing up the final steps of the mountain, you pause for a moment to catch your breath, looking back at the path you’ve ascended. Trees dot the landscape, and fog blankets the scene before you.

Why Kyoujurou has suddenly asked you to meet him at the very top of this mountain after one of his missions, you have no idea, but you hope that he isn’t hurt in any way. Usually, he’d just head back to the Rengoku Estate to rest, but perhaps he’s injured and can’t make it back for treatment. It’s not like him not to mention how he’s doing in his letters, though...

Nervously, you adjust the bag slung over your shoulder, glancing at the wooden building in front of you.

There’s a familiar symbol painted on the sign, an oval with three wavy lines depicting steam. An onsen inn...?

Your vision suddenly goes black as a pair of calloused but gentle hands settle over your eyes, followed by a warm, familiar chuckle that washes away any fear or nerves. “Guess who?”

“Senjurou.” You say confidently and the man behind you laughs in amusement before releasing you. Turning around, you’re relieved to see Kyoujurou standing there with his usual bright grin on his face - his eyes are shining. 

“I cannot believe that you would mistake me for my brother.” Kyoujurou laughs, shaking his head and you find yourself smiling along. His happiness is infectious.

“It’s your fault for sneaking up on me like that. I couldn’t believe the mighty Flame Pillar would resort to such underhanded means.” You glance over him. “Are you hurt?” 

He’s dressed in a simple robe, likely provided by the inn, and you’re not sure you can handle how the top is hanging open like that, so casually displaying the strong lines of his chest and neck. It does give you a very clear view of his upper body, however, and you’re relieved to see that he looks relatively unhurt in any way aside from a few superficial injuries. 

“I am not.” With a smile, Kyoujurou steps closer, and you frown at him, confused. His hair is unbound, and a few strands fly with the wind, the ends fluttering against your cheek. Absentmindedly, you raise a hand to brush them behind his ear. “Why would you call me all the way here, then?”

“I took quite a few missions in a row, so I have a whole week off now. Tomioka will cover my patrol region for the time being.” Kyoujurou grins at you, looking pleased. So that was why he was so busy. “I’ve rented a couple of rooms here for a week.”

You nod along, glad that he’s finally getting a well deserved break. “That’s great, but surely you didn’t bring me here just to tell me that...” The words ‘a couple of rooms’ suddenly register in your mind, and you blink at him, realization setting in. “Wait, two rooms?”

The Flame Pillar beams at you, his eyes twinkling. He extends a hand to you. “Spend the week here with me? There’s no one else, just the two of us. You and me.” 

You stare at his outstretched hand. He’d really done this all for you, work overtime, take on extra missions, find this place - just to spend time alone with you. Three little words dance on the tip of your tongue, but you swallow them and look up at Kyoujurou with a grateful smile, so wide that your cheeks hurt.

With a small laugh of your own, you reach out to take it the hand he’s offering you. His hand is just as warm as you remember it to be. “Why would I turn down a free vacation?” You ask with a cheeky smile, and Kyoujurou laughs as he leads you up the stairs into the inn. All the way, your heart flutters in your chest.

“Can we soak in the hot springs together later?”

“Mmm, of course we can. Please wash my back for me, too. I can’t quite reach it on my own.”

Your laughter rings out over the quiet mountain air. “After that, can we play some shogi?”

“Yes, I’d like that very much.”

“Let’s watch the stars together, too.”

“The skies are clear. You can teach me all about them tonight.” His touch is gentle as he traces indiscernible shapes on the top of your hand. You smile, a soft, radiant thing, and tug at his hand lightly.

“Kyoujurou?” He turns to look at you, eyes gentle.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” You whisper, and kiss him on the cheek lightly. 

Kyoujurou smiles. His gaze is tender as he looks at you. 

“Anything for you.”