#“what a coincidence i just so happen to be a virgin if you wanna uh 👁👁🤲”

[lubdubsworld]

Falling for you ( Falling from grace) Jungkook xOC

Read Chapter 1 here

Read Chapter 2 here

Read Chapter 3 here

Read Chapter 4 here 

Rated : 18 +

Warning : . Fuck buddies? Or rather enemies that have sex. They just really hate each other but also can’t keep their hands off each other. Fair warning this has no plot. its just them being idiots .

Chapter warning : things get a bit more angsty....I know this is supposed to be mostly porn but there's a little plot too hope you guys don’t mind. 

Chapter 5

I woke up to my alarm blaring right near my face , and I blinked bleary eyes . I was staring at an altogether unfamiliar wall and It took me a second to realize that the wall belonged to Jungkook’s bedroom. 

It was like being doused with cold water. 

 Oh fuck fuck fuck... 

Did I really sleep over? Why on earth had I done that. 

Not surprisingly, I was naked and I searched around frantically for my panties before remembering they were torn and stuffed in my jacket pocket. The jacket itself was crushe4d beyond redemption, tossed over the small ottoman in the corner. My pants were just as messy , wrapped around the table leg in the corner. 

I stared at the time on my phone. 

I had fifteen minutes to get to my workplace. 

“You up?” Jungkook’s voice came from the door and I screamed, spooked at the sudden sound and I grabbed the comforter pulling it up to my shoulder to shield my body from his view and just stared at him. He looked fresh out of the shower, dressed in a plain white t shirt and blue jeans that looked like they’d been painted on. 

He glanced at me in surprise, tilting his head in confusion.

“Uh...bit too late to play the blushing virgin, Areum..., don’t you think?” 

“Why the fuck did you let me sleep here? I need to get to work. “ I hissed, scrambling off the bed, still holding the comforter because like hell i was going to be naked, with him fully dressed.

He hummed.

“I did try to get you to take a cab.....but you were already snoring . Bad sex etiquette that by the way...I’ve never had a girl fall asleep while riding my face before...” 

I glared at him. 

“Three fucking times... You made me cum thrice and you wouldn’t let me get off....I did not fall asleep, I passed out...you ...you fucking pervert!!!” 

He grinned , entirely unrepentant. 

“I know right.... you’re one lucky bitch aren’t you, angel?” 

I wanted to retort but I had places to be. I found my bra underneath the bed and sat on the bed, dropping the sheet and moving to put it on. Jungkook made his way over reaching out to paw at my breasts and I elbowed him in the stomach.

“No... Stop. I’m already running late....” I said sharply but he wasn’t listening, reaching for my waist and lifting me up off the bed. I yelped when he moved to the head board, sitting back and pulling me into his lap. He lost no time, slipping two fingers inside me before I could fully process what he was doing. 

“ Come on, I’m really fucking horny...” He whined, fumbling with his zipper, slipping a hand and yanking himself out easily. I stared at him , helpless as he spat into his palm, getting his hand wet before stroking the wetness on to his cock. Defeated, I lifted myself up and scooted forward till I could feel the head pressing up against me. 

“Five minutes. You have five minutes. I’m leaving afterwards, whether you cum or not.” I warned and he frowned. His eyes moved to the black tie lying discarded in the bedstead , looking thoughtful and I punched his shoulder.

“Don’t even think of it  you depraved fuck.,” I growled. 

He responded, by thrusting his hips straight up, driving right up into me in a single motion. I felt the wind get knocked right out of me, instinct making me buck away from the sudden intrusion, but he gripped my waist and held me in place. My insides shifted to accommodate him and I gripped his shoulders hard, trying to swallow the sudden dryness in my threat. 

A garbled, ‘ fuck ‘ came out of my mouth, more of a whimper than anything. 

“Don’t worry about me baby, question is , can I make  you  cum in five minutes.... “ He whispered softly, keeping up the steady , almost shallow thrusts into me , groaning as I got wetter and wetter with each stroke. 

“M really tired... I really don’t need another orgasm...” I whispered, honestly, flinging my arms around his shoulder and burying my face in the crook of his neck. He hummed, running strong, smooth hands up and down my bare back, pressing down across my shoulder blades and lightly gripping my sides .

“Okay, how about I just make you feel good “ He whispered against my cheeks, pressing a soft kiss there, “ and if you just happen to have an orgasm in the process, we’ll call it a happy coincidence, okay?”

I grinned into his shoulders. It was impossible to talk to this guy. 

I let my eyes fall shut surprised at how easy it was to let him take control. I hadn’t been lying. I really was exhausted. And although it was frighteningly new, letting my guard down around Jungkook like this, not being on edge, or trying to stay a step ahead, it was also liberating . I felt like a huge knot in my spine had come undone and I exhaled, going limp in his arms. 

He must’ve felt me relax completely, his arms tightening around my waist and I shuddered when he started moving again, gentle rolling motions of his hips without pulling out of me at all, his cock lodged firmly inside me as he grinded into me  , barely offering any sort of friction but keeping me filled .

And it was a different sort of pleasure from the usual feeling of being fucked into, a pleasure that didn’t come in rhythms repetitions of him fucking into me but rather a pleasure that just stayed and yet somehow swelled , that seemed to radiate from where he was inside me, to every part of me, till I could feel the jittery sparks of his movement in the tips of my fingers and the edges of my scalp. 

I threaded my fingers through his hair and instead of gripping hard, the way I usually did, I found myself stroking the skin there, feeling the soft, slightly damp strands as they fell between my fingers and I felt him inhale shakily and I kept stroking his hair. 

“Tell me this isn’t heaven....” He whispered, voice raspy against my ear as he pulled the lobe between his teeth and I shuddered.

“Certainly feels like it...” I whispered, feeling a sudden sting of tears . He was ruining me....ruining me for every other man and there was nothing I could do but cling on, like a shipwreck victim caught in the waves. 

His fingers fluttered down to between my legs and he pressed a thumb against my clit, gently stroking the hardened nub and sparks of pleasure shot up to my spine, made my toes curl and I gripped his shoulders harder, biting my lips not to sob.

“I’m close..” I choked out, “ Please don’t stop...” 

He chuckled.

“Wouldn’t dream of it angel... come on, come for me...wanna see you.... wanna see you come undone in my arms, show me how good I make you feel, yeah?” 

I clenched around him, my orgasm washing over me in gentle waves , rising to a crescendo of excruciating pleasure before ebbing into a gentle sort of satisfaction, tinged with hints of overwhelming affection for this man under me and I couldn’t stop the tears that spilled over my lashes and onto his shirt. I stayed still, riding it out and keeping my eyes on the wall as Jungkook stroked my back, soothing me through it. 

“Baby, you okay?”  He sounded just as wrecked as I felt and I nodded, slowly climbing off him and moving down to kneel between his legs, before bending low and taking the hard length of him into my mouth. 

Jungkook swore, fingers gripping the hair at the back of my head and hips lifting a teeny bit to thrust into my mouth and I hummed, knowing the vibrations would transfer to the sensitive veins on his cock. I gripped the base of his cock , keeping my grip a little loose, looking straight up at him and meeting his gaze before spitting on the cockhead.

His dick twitched in my hand and his eyes darkened. 

“My dirty little slut....” He whispered and the tone was so rife with fondness, so arousing in contrast to the words. 

“Yours.” I breathed against the glistening head, dipping the tip of my tongue into the slit, tasting that tangy bitter taste of precum and swirling my tongue, wrapping my lips around the length and bobbing down to take him into my mouth. I pressed the flat of my tongue against the underside , using the tip to trace the thick veins that ran up and down his length, before sucking the sensitive head, licking at the thick skin of his frenulum , swirling my tongue into the ridges till his hips lifted off the bed.

“Oh, fuck...Baby, that feels so fucking food...” He choked out and I smiled, pulling back to look at him.

“You wanna fuck my mouth, now?” I asked softly and he groaned.

“Fuck yeah. Go on baby...on your knees....on the floor. Now.” 

I moved quickly, kneeling on the floor right next to the bed , watching him slip our of his jeans before crawling over the edge of the bed. He threw his legs over the side, moving to sit on the edge for spreading his  legs  and curling his fingers to beckon me forward. 

I winked, grabbing his knees to steady myself before scooting forward on my knees, running my hands up and down his thigh before bending over and taking him into my mouth again. Jungkook’s hand came to the back of my head and unlike me, he had no qualms about gripping my hair hard. 

I sat back on the balls of my heels, letting my lips part fully and he fucked into my mouth with practiced abandon and I closed my eyes. concentrating only on the feel of his cock in my mouth, the long length of it as it hit the back of my throat , my breath coming through my nose in timed intervals so I could deep throat him fully. It still took an effort although I’d been doing it long enough. Suppressing my gag reflex, I inhaled carefully just as he pushed in , swallowing lightly around the tip of his throat as he pressed in deep, exhaling as he pulled out. 

My eyes fluttered open as I got used to the motion and I felt my insides clench when I saw Jungkook, head thrown back in sheer unadulterated ecstacy , eyes shut and lips red and slick , parted and gasping as he gripped the edge of the bed, the veins in his forearm bulging from how tight he was gripping the sheets. I felt the taut muscles of his thighs , the way they flexed and strained as he fucked into my mouth and I felt a surge of power rushing through me. 

 Me.  I thought , furiously,  I did this to him. 

 I sucked harder, bobbing back and forth on his length, getting it wet and sloppy just the way he liked it , letting him hit the deepest part of my throat with every thrust and I used on hand to grip the base of his dick, feeling him stiffen under me. 

I pulled back for a second...

“Where?” I croaked out, voice hoarse and breaking and he stared me down like the predator he was. 

“Half inside...half on your face...” He growled out, reaching both hands out to grip my face , thumb and forefinger pressing into my jaw, forcing me to open my mouth and it was such a turn on, how despite how much I offered freely of myself , Jungkook still wanted to  take. 

Deciding to indulge him, I sat back and let him push his thumb into my mouth, hooking his fingers keep my mouth open before pushing in with his hard cock. The fingers returned to my hair and so did that bruising grip that made my scalp ting. 

I kept my eyes open this time, staring right at him as he fucked into my mouth. 

“Look at you, so fucking hungry for me... for what I give you...” He muttered, eyes unblinking as he stared right back, shameless and open. 

I shuddered when the first spurt of his cum hit the back of my throat and it wasn’t good, far from it but it was  him.....and that was enough. Enough for me to swallow greedily , to take it in with relish. He pulled back when he was still cumming and I stuck my tongue out , tilting my face till he could cover every inch of it with his release .

Once he finished, he pulled back, but kept his hands on my face tilting it up so he could get a good look at the mess he had made. 

“I know I spend hours painting , but baby....this.... you wearing my cum on that pretty face.....this is fucking art....fuck...” He groaned out.

 I felt my body thrum at what was surely, the most lavish and lustful compliment I’d ever gotten.

“I missed work. You’re gonna pay me for it.” I said impishly, sticking my tongue out to gather the bit of cum on my lips, licking it up.

Jungkook grinned and tossed a pillow at my head. 

“Not happening. Go get dressed and get your ass to work. “

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You look pretty happy for someone who turned up three hours late wearing borrowed clothes from a one night stand. “ Hoseok commented mildly, while I stood by his desk, waiting for him to finish signing the previous week’s reports. 

I managed a weak grin. I was dressed in my slacks and jacket but I’d been forced to borrow one of Jungkook’s black shirts which looked ridiculous on me. 

“Hey hyung, what about these files?” A rough voice said right behind me and I stumbled a little . The guy gripped my elbow to steady me, lips quirking in surprise .

“Careful.” He said casually and then his fingers fluttered down to my waist, stroking me through my jacket and I jumped, frowning.

“Sorry?” I snapped, watching the way his eyes went straight to my chest, tongue licking his lips as he stared and I felt chilled.

“Oh, Junho, this is Areum...she's my assistant. Areum, this is Yang Junho . He’s taking over as the HOD of the HR department now that Mr. Lee is retiring.” 

I bowed politely stepping back a few steps, feeling an instinctive sense of foreboding. The guy wasn’t old, probably the same age as me but he looked so sleazy that it made my stomach churn. 

“Ah, beautiful.” He said casually, still staring at me unblinkingly and I felt my anger rise.

“Junho’s dad is one of the investors in our new Beach Resort project . Mr. Jeon thinks he’ll be a good fit here , he can learn the ropes before going back to his dad’s company.” Hoseok said casually and I nodded quickly. I moved closer to Hoseok reached out to grab the files Junho had got. 

“Anything else Jun?” He said casually and the other man merely shook his head. 

“Can I borrow your secretary for a minute, hyung?”

I stared at him.

Hoseok frowned.

“Uh...what for? “

Junho shrugged.

“My assistants having a bit of trouble filing the stuff in my office right... She just looks so.... capable.” He was openly leering now. 

Hoseok looked hesitant but then he nodded . 

“Sure... Areum, why don’t you go see what’s up...?”

I clenched my fists, every instinct telling me to run but there was nothing I could do, my mind shutting down because this guy was clearly pretty high up in the food chain and I couldn’t afford to antagonize him without cause. 

I followed him out of the office, jumping when he tried to wrap a hand around my waist .

“Please...stop...touching me . I’m not comfortable with it.” I blurted out and he didn’t even blink, merely raising an eyebrow. 

“You’re not comfortable being touched. That impressive hickey on your neck would suggest otherwise. Tell me Ms Areum, are you married?” He said casually.

I bit my lips.

“No.” 

“Boyfriend than.,,,” 

I stayed quiet.

“Some guy in a club huh? Did you drop to your knees when he bought you a drink?” 

I felt my jaw drop and I whirled around to stare at him .

He sneered.

“Don’t worry....I don’t mind. The easier a girl is, the faster I can get laid ....so...”

We were right out side his office and I just knew that if I went in there it would be the biggest regret of my life. 

“Find someone else...” I snapped, moving to get away but his hand shot out, gripping my shoulder hard and pulling me back till I slammed into his chest.

“Is that any way to speak to your fucking boss, Ms. Areum.?” He leered, gripping both my wrists and yanking me forward , even as my heart leapt to my throat .

“Let go of me...” I shouted, stunned out of my mind and he actually let go.

I felt my knees give out, dropping to floor and crawling back till my back hit the wall.

“I’m gonna ask them to make you my secretary .... I think you’ll fit in really well with me...” He sneered again and I forced myself to stand , running out of the hallway as fast as I could. I rounded the corner, panting and nearly out my mind with panic when I crashed into a very familiar broad chest.

“Hey...what?” Jungkook’s voice came out a little winded and relief flooded my system like a wave. I gripped his arms, hugging him tight, burrowing my face into his chest as I tried to catch my breath. 

“Angel....Areuym...what are you doing? We’re in the office babe...people can see...” He pulled me away from his chest pushing me back to arms length, confused and surprised. 

I swallowed, staring at him , feeling my pulse pound.

“Ah Jungkookie!!! There’s my favorite man in the whole wide world!” The voice made my hair stand on end and I watched as Junho waved from the end of the corridor. 

But it was Jungkook’s reaction that stunned me further.

“Oh my fucking God, Yang Junho ...in the flesh... “ He was pushing away from me and I watched , mind going blank as the two of them met in the middle of the corridor, hugging each other hard. 

I clenched my fists in disbelief.

“Jeon Jungkookie looking as good as ever....can’t believe you convinced your old man to give me this job, man...” Junho was saying. 

Jungkook laughed then, honest and happy. 

“It’s been forever...Dad told me you were coming back to Korea and I told him he had to hire you...If I have to stay stuck in this shithole,. I  better have my best buddy with me at least... You should be thankful to me , you son of a bitch...” Jungkook was saying and I swallowed. 

Best buddies?

 Jungkook turned around then to stare at me.

“Ms Areum, you can leave now...” He said casually, looking bright and happy and I felt like I was going to be sick. 

“Ms. Areum....I’m gonna have a word with Hoseok... you can report directly to me tomorrow morning. “ Junho said casually. 

Jungkook gave me a grin.

“Getting promoted , are we? Congratulations, Areum...Take good care of my buddy, huh? He’s like a brother to me...” He turned back to Junho and the nausea was unbearable. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Can’t I refuse?” I whispered, fingers shaking as I gathered the things at my desk. 

Hoseok rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t see why you would...It’s an obvious promotion You’ll get paid more... “

I was battling the urge to tell Hoseok what had happened but I also knew exactly how sexual harassment claims were handled. It was innocent until proven guilty and not the other way around. 

I had no proof.

Nothing. 

Junho on the other hand was one of Jungkook’s closest friends,. his father was an investor...he was rich and he had power. In what world would anyone believe me over him? 

I couldn’t lose this job. 

Maybe yesterday was a one off thing, I told myself. There’s no way he’s going to try something else. He has a cabin yes but there were cctvs everywhere. 

As I made my way to the cabin , I stared up at the CCTVs put up all over the corridors. All of them had green blinking lights. As I reached the door to his office, I noticed the CCTV right over his door. 

No light. 

I had suspected it but it still hit me in the gut. The man wasn’t just a sleaze bag. He was a fucking predator. And I wondered how many other women he had done this to. Not even bothering to take a step inside, I called the maintenance dept. 

“The CCTVs around Mr. Yang’s office seem to be not working.” I said calmly. 

It took a few minutes but they told me someone had disabled the servers remotely, and that they had it up and running now. I watched the green light turn on again and took a deep breath before stepping in.

The office had two rooms.

One bigger glass walled room on the inside, with Junho’s desk and cabinets and the outer room was smaller, with a desk for me. i noticed the CCTV right opposite my desk. It was on as well. 

I sat down behind the desk , quickly going through the day’s to do list left by the previous assistant, a guy called Jinki. 

“Good morning, beautiful.” Junho had walked into the room. His voice felt like nail on a chalkboard and I willed myself not to glare.

“Good morning, sir.” I said softly. 

“Hmm....sir...I like that. Sounds hot.” He leaned over the table to loom over me. 

“Let’s have dinner tonight, you and me. I have a condo near the Han.” 

I stared at him.

“You’re not bringing  your dick anywhere near me.... I will castrate you if you try.” I smiled softly. 

It took a few seconds for the words to register and he straightened, stunned.

And then his eyes narrowed. 

“What the fuck did you just say?” 

“You heard me. Now either let me do my job or you’re gonna lose yours.” I snapped. 

He lunged for me without warning and I screamed, stunned. Before I could process what he was doing he was grabbing my hair, bodily dragging me over the desk and onto the floor. 

I fell so hard that my bones rattled , shoulder stinging from hitting hard oak table. 

I opened my mouth to scream again when he slapped me. Hard.

The force of it left me reeling .

“Stupid, slutty bitch....You think you can say not to me? To me? do you know who the fuck I am? I’m your boss, I fucking own you.....” His eyes were completely unhinged, mouth frothing a bit and I couldn’t fight back even a little. 

He was grabbing my blouse, yanking hard and the fabric gave away, ripping right down my chest, I whimpered, fumbling for the desk, almost sobbing in relief when my hands closed over the heavy ceramic tray that held allk my pens. I grabbed the thing, bringing it down hard over his head, watching it shatter over him. 

The shock made him let go and I stumbled to my feet, running out the door as fast I could.

I ran straight to Hoseok, because he was the only friend I had . People were staring, some of them shouting my name but I was running on adrenaline , mind only chanting i should get to Hoseok.

When I saw him, the panic hit in full force and I sobbed out, reaching for him with both arms.

Hoseok pulled me into his arms, looked terrified.

“Areum...what the fuck?” And then his eyes took in the torn blouse, the bruise blooming on my face and the blood trickling down the side of my mouth.

“That son of a bitch....!!” He whispered and then his eyes snapped up.

I clutched him harder when I realized that Junho had followed me.

“She’s lying...” He looked wild and unstable as he glared at me. “ She was like that when I came into the office, she’s trying to frame me because i wouldn’t sleep with her.....”

“The cctv.... “ I choked out. “ He...He disabled them....but I turned them back on.... He’s.... It caught everything....he...”

Junho’s eyes widened at that and it was almost ridiculous, how he tried to make a break for it. But there was a dozen men right behind him and two of them came forward to grab his arms.

“Call the fucking cops.” Hoseok said through clenched teeth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook turned up, just as the cops arrived . The first thing they did was take Junho into custody and I found myself sitting in Hobi’s office, clutching a blanket around my body as I tried to narrate what had happened to the cop in front of me. 

“What's going on hyung? I saw the ambulance and the cops....is someone hurt?” His voice carried through the corridor and I felt my lips wobble in part relief, part shame. I hated feeling weak. 

I couldn’t hear what Hobi said but a second later the door to his office slammed open, hitting the opposite wall and Jungkook stood framed in the doorway, looking absolutely wild. 

“Areum?” He whispered, and the sob got wrenched out of me. 

“Jungkook, he....” I couldn’t get the words out and it turned out I didn't have to. Jungkook was moving quickly, kneeling in front of me and gathering me into his arms . 

The cop gave me a small smile before getting up and moving away..

“I’m gonna be back in a while...Let me give you and your boyfriend some privacy...” She whispered and I was too tired to correct her. 

“What happened....Baby...what the fuck did he do?” He whispered, pressing kisses to my hair and I clutched him harder.

“Nothing...I... he hit me... a couple of times....nothing else....”

Jungkook pulled back...

“And yesterday? He did something yesterday didn’t he? That’s why you looked so upset when I saw you...Areum what the fuck... why didn’t you tell me?” He looked completely stricken and I bit my lips.

“I wanted to... I was going to but...he...you were talking to each other you called each other best buddies and it was my word against his and-”

He made a noise of impatience .

“And what, you thought I’d believe him over you? Why on earth would I do that Areum?”

“Because he’s like your best friend and I’m just...”  nobody. I’m nobody. 

Jungkook almost whimpered, hands impossibly gentle as he pressed them against my cheeks, holding me gently, leaning forward till our foreheads touched. His fingers stroked my cheeks, soothing the bruise and I sobbed when he kissed me gently.

 A soft peck before pulling back to stare at me. He took a deep breath. 

“I know we fight and irritate the fuck out of each other Areum but I care for you , okay?” He wiped the perspiration on his face, “  I care so fucking much for you and it fucking  kills me that you got hurt in  my  company on  my watch ..... That some fucker managed to get his fucking hands on you and he’s till out there breathing when I should have put him six feet under the fucking ground for even looking at you.....” 

I blinked back tears.

“Okay... Okay...” I nodded , not even sure what I was agreeing to. 

“You trust me right?” He asked, voice breaking, “  I would believe you over anyone else.. your word is my truth okay....you trust me right?” He was staring at me and I saw the wetness in his eyes and felt my heart break.

“I trust you....” I whispered, pulling him close and letting his left his head on my chest. I stroked his hair before kissing the top of his head. “ I trust you.” 

 I love you. 

 And though I didn’t say it out loud, I felt it, all over my body and in my heart. 

AUTHOR’S NOTE : PAIN. 

 Guys, be sure to leave some feedback because I have zero motivation to write these days and its only when I read your asks that I can bring myself to write :-* 

[seasonofthegeek]

It’s About Time

This drabble is a ko-fi request from the outstanding @astrangetypeofchemistry featuring Marinette and Nino with the fanfic mash-up tropes: time travel and accidental virgin. :D

___

Nino blinked and he was suddenly watching Ms. Bustier as she explained an upcoming group project. Either he was having a very realistic dream of his past self or something had gone very, very wrong. He glanced to the side and Adrien’s smile shifted from pleasant to concerned. 

“You didn’t hear anything I just said, did you?”

“Huh?”

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m...not sure.” He stared at his best friend who was at least a decade and a half younger than he’d been when Nino saw him at dinner only a few hours ago. He turned enough to look back at Marinette in the hopes that she knew what was happening but seeing his wife as her fifteen year old self was too jarring to comprehend in the moment. He turned back and stared down at his desk, ignoring Adrien’s worried glances.

This wasn’t right. This was the past. He shouldn’t be here, not like this. 

Alix. This was her fault. He was going to kill her.

He glared back at her but she was just as young as everyone else in the class and seemed completely oblivious to his staring.

“Okay, so maybe not,” he muttered.

He looked down at his wrist and the Turtle Miraculous was missing from the grouping of bracelets he hadn’t worn in years. He swallowed hard. The scars he’d grown accustomed to seeing on his hands were no longer there and the pink glittery nail polish his daughter had sloppily applied before bed was missing from his middle and ring finger. He wasn’t just seeing the past, he was his past self. 

He thrust his hand into the air. “I need a hall pass please!”

There were chuckles from around the room but Ms. Bustier nodded, though he could see the confusion flit through her eyes. Younger Nino would’ve never interrupted her like that but he was too freaked out to play pretend at the moment. He grabbed the pass and escaped the classroom as quickly as he could.

___

In another time...

Nino groaned at the incessant beeping of an alarm. It couldn’t be time for school already; he was too tired. He felt like he’d only just fallen asleep. He reached out to where his his phone should’ve been on his nightstand and his knuckles bumped something that clattered to the floor with the wail of an electronic siren. Nino bolted upright, heart pounding, and saw a toy firetruck laying upside down on the floor in front of the nightstand, lights flashing.

Had Chris snuck that into his bedroom at some point? He didn’t remember seeing it before he went to sleep.

“I thought you were kidding about making me wake up this early too,” a voice mumbled from the other side of him. “I don’t wanna go to the gym. ‘m a sleepy bug.”

As if in a horror movie, Nino felt like he was turning in slow motion towards the voice. In the dim morning light coming in through the curtained windows, he could make out a mop of dark hair and the rest of the person was hidden under a pile of blankets. He jolted away and fell out of the bed. He yelped as he landed on the firetruck and the sirens started all over again. A plastic pony and a toy cat tumbled from the nightstand as it shook from his fall and landed in Nino’s lap. The alarm on his phone finally snoozed and he struggled to catch his breath.

“What in the world?!” The blankets rustled and a familiar face was looking down at him with wide eyes. “Are you okay?”

Nino felt what little air he’d gotten back in his lungs rush out again when he recognized who was on the bed, though she didn’t look quite right somehow. “Marinette?!” His voice cracked and he scrambled backwards, belatedly realizing he was only wearing a pair of boxer briefs. He tried to cover himself awkwardly as she reached over to turn on the lamp on the nightstand. 

“What just happened? You’re going to wake up Violet.” She rubbed her eyes and Nino took in the shorter hair. The mussed ends were tipped in red just above her shoulders. When had she changed it and why was she in his bed?! 

She stretched and Nino felt his face heat up when he realized she was wearing a very small, very thin tank top and little else. This is not how these dreams usually went. That thought reminded him that he’d had a certain type of dream about Marinette, many dreams in fact, and it made his skin flush hot and he tried to look anywhere but her and ignore the way his body was reacting. The familiar feeling of guilt edged in to dampen his teenage hormones and he latched onto it as he tried to find his bearings.

“What...you can’t...why are you here?” He looked around the room wildly and didn’t see anything recognizable. “Where am I?”

Marinette eyed him worriedly before turning her head towards the closed bedroom door. “Wayzz, Tikki, I think we need you!”

“Wayzz? How do you know about Wayzz?” Nino looked down at his wrist to see the Miraculous in place where he wore it whenever Ladybug called on him. He’d never gotten to take it home though. Nothing made sense in this dream. He stood up shakily and spotted a robe draped over an armchair in the corner. He grabbed it and pulled it on, realizing belatedly it must belong to this Marinette who wasn’t quite the Marinette he knew. The pink ruffles tickled his neck and he pushed them away and felt a scruffy beard along his jaw. What the hell was going on?

The kwamis appeared through the door and Wayzz immediately circled Nino.  “Oh, this isn’t right at all,” he murmured. 

“Little dude, you have to help me. I don’t know how I got here but this isn’t me,” Nino pleaded. He cast a sideways glance at Marinette and felt his skin run hot all over again at the thought that they’d been in bed together with very little on.

Wayzz frowned. “There’s something surrounding him that...hmm, perhaps? But no, that would be unwise; however, not impossible. Nino, how old do you think you are?”

“I’m fifteen.”

“Oh.” Marinette’s eyes went round with surprise. “Oh! No wonder he’s so freaked out. I’m going to kill Alix.” She pulled the blankets up around her shoulders self-consciously. “I thought she was joking about being able to do this!”

Tikki fluttered over to Nino but quickly went back to Marinette when he flinched. “Oh no, is Fluff up to her tricks again?”

“When we were at dinner last night, Nino and I were joking about wishing we knew how we felt back when we were younger since we wasted so much time not being together. She said she could fix that with one little portal and we all laughed but...” Marinette scrunched her face. “This doesn’t make sense though. Why send younger Nino here? Does that mean...” She trailed off as realization set in. “Oh no...”

____

In the past...

Now that he’d had time to freak out, Nino was feeling better. He couldn’t be stuck here. His Marinette wouldn’t let that happen. He just needed to get somewhere that might help with everything.

He decided to skip going back to class and went to the park so he could still watch when everyone left school. He needed to catch Marinette and talk to her. Maybe they could go to Master Fu and figure out how to get him sent back to his time. He wasn’t enjoying being fifteen again, though it was nice not to have a constantly aching lower back. 

Maybe he shouldn’t tell younger Marinette at all. It would probably freak her out. He couldn’t believe they’d just been talking about this at dinner with everyone. It seemed too much of a coincidence and he would definitely be having words with Alix and Fluff when he returned to his proper self. They were punks, the both of them.

He started off towards Fu’s and was surprised to hear Marinette calling his name. He turned back to her and the smile he’d forced into place became genuine as he watched her stumble over her own feet trying to catch up to him. She managed to find her balance before she fell and made it to him with a self-deprecating laugh. 

“You didn’t happen to see that, did you?”

It wasn’t that he’d forgotten how cute she was when they were this age, but things had been so different between them then. She’d seemed off-limits, even after he and Alya parted on amicable terms. Alya... 

He strained to try to remember if they were still together right now. They might be. He’d need to be careful. He didn’t want to risk changing anything for the worse if he could help it.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he winked. “Graceful as always.”

Marinette blushed and ducked her head with another laugh. “Sure, sure. Are you okay? You didn’t come back to class. Adrien was really worried.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” He adjusted his hat on reflex and had forgotten about the nervous gesture of his youth. “I just need to go see someone about a problem I’m having.”

“I don’t want to keep you then. I’m actually on my way to see someone too.”

“Master Fu?” Nino regretted the words as soon as they came out when he saw Marinette’s reaction. “He’s who I’m going to see too,” he winced. 

“Are you getting a massage or something?” Her voice had risen an octave and there was a strained edge to her smile.

“Not exactly. I, uh...” He looked around to make sure they were relatively alone. So much for not changing anything. “I think something happened with the Miraculous because I’m not supposed to be here. I’m Nino from the future.” He looked down at his bright blue shirt. “Well, at least in my head I am, my body, not so much.”

Marinette took a step back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve chosen me to be Carapace at this point, haven’t you? I’m not exactly sure when I am but I know it has to be close. This feels about right.”

She blinked. “You’re serious.”

“Of course I am.”

“Who else is from the future? Alya?”

Nino shook his head and did a quick glance around again. “I haven’t talked to her, but I think it’s just me.”

“You were just talking to her before class started.”

Nino frowned. “I think whatever happened was during the lecture. I was suddenly just in my younger body and in the class.”

“This is so weird.” She covered her face and groaned and then dropped her hands. “Okay, let’s go see what Master Fu has to say.” She set off in the right direction and Nino quickly fell into step beside her.

“So you believe me?”

“I’m finding it hard to, but you wouldn’t joke about something like this. I’ve seen some really weird stuff at this point and I don’t think I should question it too much. And the Nino I know definitely doesn’t know I’m the one who gave him a Miraculous.”

“Someday you’ll even let me keep it,” Nino grinned.

“Really?”

“Mmhmm, but I probably shouldn’t say too much else. I don’t know what could change.”

They made it to Fu’s building and started up the steps when Marinette made a thoughtful noise. “Do you think you’re in your past or a past dimension? Those could exist, right? I started looking into it with all the time-hopping stuff with Bunnix. You do know about Bunnix, don’t you?”

“I’m pretty sure Alix has something to do with why I’m here actually,” Nino scowled. “As for that though, I’m not sure. This feels like my life was. Wouldn’t another dimension be different?”

“Not necessarily but it wouldn’t be exactly the same, I guess.” She perked up. “Of course, now it isn’t your past if you don’t remember this happening to you, right?.”

“I didn’t think about that. That’s...worrisome.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

They stopped in front of Fu’s door and Nino was suddenly reluctant to go inside. “I have a really great life,” he said. “I wouldn’t want anything to change that. I married an amazing woman and we have a beautiful daughter and we’re still heroes. It’s kind of great.”

Marinette clasped her hands together with a happy squeak. “You and Alya get married and have a baby?!”

“What? No.” He caught her shocked expression and grimaced. “I mean...I shouldn’t have said anything, I guess. I just don’t want any of that to go away.”

He turned away from her and knocked on the door but could still feel the weight of her gaze on his back.

___

In the future...

“Are you going to keep staring at me like that? Do I really look that different?” Marinette tugged on the ends of her hair. “I mean, this is new, but to be fair, it’s new here too. Kagami talked me into it when she was getting hers bleached. Do you like it?”

Nino wrapped both hands around the warm mug of coffee she’d given him as if it were a security blanket. “It’s, uh, it’s really pretty.”

She flashed him a bright smile. “Thanks. Are you hungry? I can make something for breakfast while we try to figure this out.”

“I’m not sure I could keep anything down at this point,” he admitted.

“That’s fair.” She faced him and hugged herself. She’d thrown on a large hoodie and Nino couldn’t decide if he was disappointed or relieved. “I’m really sorry this is happening to you. Just know that you’re safe here with me, I promise.”

Nino felt a better than he had since he’d woken up in the strange place. “I know, Marinette. Thanks.”

“Daddy! Daddy!” There was a commotion of banging and the sounds of claws tapping against the hardwood floor and a small girl with wild hair accompanied by a large gray dog rushed into the kitchen. The girl jumped up and Nino caught her out of reflex from his younger brother doing the same thing so many times.

“We’re going to the park today!” she announced and smashed his cheeks with her tiny hands. “And the zoo too!” The dog bounced around them happily.

“Sweetheart, we may have to wait to do that. Daddy isn’t feeling well today.” Marinette sent Nino an apologetic look as she gathered the little girl from his arms. 

Nino stared at the small child with dark hair and big golden eyes. She stuck her bottom lip out and it took on a slight tremor. 

“How about you and Daisy go turn on some cartoons and I’ll bring you waffles?” Marinette suggested brightly. “Then we can talk about the park and the zoo.”

The little girl considered it, looking between her parents and her dog, and then her pouting lip was replaced with a smile. “With chocolate chips,” she instructed and then turned on her heel and patted her dog’s head. The dog faithfully followed after her, tail wagging.

“Sorry. I thought we’d have a little more time before she woke up.” Marinette moved around the kitchen, getting the things she needed to make waffles.

Nino stared after the girl and then looked back at Marinette dumbly. “Is she...”

“Yours?” There was an amused glint in her eyes. “Did you see her? It doesn’t even look like I had anything to do with her and I’m the one who had to carry her for nine months. Unfair if you ask me.” She faltered when she saw his expression. “Goodness, sorry again. It’s...we joke about it a good bit. I wasn’t thinking.”

He nodded and looked down at his hand. There was a titanium wedding band on his ring finger, along with sparkly pink nail polish haphazardly painted on two of the fingernails. “We’re married,” he said slowly.

“Yes.” Marinette kept her back to him as she worked.

“And that’s our daughter.”

“Violet,” she offered.

“Violet.”

“Yes.”

“How?”

She did turn back to him then and a delicate eyebrow rose as a smug smirk played along her lips. “How?” she echoed. “Did you want a play by play of the night it happened?”

Nino knew he was dark red from the tips of his ears to the tips of his toes as he sputtered in response. His virgin mind was all too happy to immediately come up with possibilities. “That’s not...I didn’t mean...I’m with Alya!”

“Right.” She took in a deep breath. “Look, don’t worry about it. For all we know, you’re a Nino from a different dimension. You and Alya could have a really beautiful future together. I just want to get my Nino back and I’m trying not to freak out about it.”

An awkward silence settled over them, punctuated by the sounds of Marinette preparing breakfast. 

“What’s he like...or I’m like?” Nino scrunched his nose. “I’m not sure what I’m trying to ask really.”

“My Nino is my best friend.” Marinette poured a handful of chocolate chips into the batter she’d just started. “We’ve been friends since we were young and apparently both had feelings for each other on and off and then, I don’t know, one day it just clicked for us.”

“Did he date Alya too?”

She pursed her lips. “Why do you want to know?”

“Just curious.”

“He did and they had a really great relationship. We’re all still close. She married a web guru so they pretty much rule the world together. They’re ridiculously in love.”

“Oh.” He absently scratched at the nail polish. “What about Adrien?”

Marinette smiled then. “Adrien’s a stay-at-home dad to five kids and he’s trying to convince his husband that they can adopt more.”

Nino matched her smile. “So he’s happy too then?”

“Very.”

“That’s good to know.”

There was a pause and Marinette set the mixing bowl on the counter to give him her full attention. “You know you shouldn’t tell anyone about all this when you get back, right? It could really mess up people’s lives. I’m hoping that somehow you won’t remember it but I’m not sure what’s going to happen.”

“It’s kinda just making my head hurt right now.”

“That’s understandable.” She returned to her task and gave him her back so she could start working at the stove. “We can talk about whatever you want if it makes you feel better though. It’s still pretty early but I’ve sent texts to everyone so hopefully we can all put our minds to it and figure things out.”

Marinette jumped when two strong arms wound around her middle. “Aww, babe, you called the calvary for me.”

She pulled away enough to study him. “Are you you?”

Nino laughed. “I’m guessing younger me had a very interesting trip then?”

“Oh!” Marinette turned so she could fully pull him into a hug. “I was so nervous something bad was going on. What happened?” She only released him enough so that she could look up at him and Nino fondly moved some of her hair behind her ear.

“I have no idea. I went to bed with you and then suddenly I’m sitting in Ms. Bustier’s classroom in mid-conversation with Adrien when he had that floppy hair and wore those awful orange shoes.”

“What in the world?”

“Not sure, but I’ll be asking our local time-hopping rabbit first.”

“Mmm. So how’d you get back?”

Nino gently pulled himself from her grasp and grabbed a handful of chocolate chips. “I honestly don’t know. I’d convinced younger you that I was from the future and we’d just gotten to Fu’s and then I was sitting here watching you make waffles.” He popped the chips in his mouth with a hum. “I’m starving.”

“You talked to me?! Why’d you do that? Things could be all different now!”

“I don’t feel different. Do you feel different? Oh man, how did younger me survive after waking up beside you?”

Marinette frowned. “Well, I--”

“Dadddddddddy!” Violet called as she entered the kitchen. “Daisy and I were talking and if you’re sick, we can just stay here today. That’s okay.”

Nino raised his eyebrows and Marinette gave him a helpless shrug. He moved forward so he could scoop his little girl up as she giggled. “Well, lucky for you, Miss Vi, I’m feeling all better now and I can’t think of anything more fun than going to the park today.”

“And the zoo!” Violet added with a laugh.

“And the zoo!” Nino agreed. “Why don’t you go get ready while Mommy finishes making breakfast?”

Violet let out a triumphant whoop of joy and ran down the hall as soon as her father set her back down. 

Marinette hugged herself. “What do you think our past selves are doing now? Doesn’t this kind of mess things up?”

Nino closed the distance between them and kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know. I think this might’ve done them a favor. And as for us, I might love you even more than before.”

“But you don’t feel any different?” she fretted.

“Not even a little. Do you?”

She considered that. “No, I don’t think I do.”

“Then let’s go get ready and have a nice day at the park with our daughter and just accept that our past selves are fine because we’re fine.”

“You know I’m going to be worried about this for weeks,” she warned him.

He laughed and pulled her into a kiss. “Yes, dear, I’m very familiar with you,” he teased.

Buy me a cherry coke?

[neshabeingchildish]

Hello Stranger.

A few different things went into the creation of this fic. One was a request: “A story 10 years in the future. Henry has not seen or communicated with Charlotte in years. His best friend, Jasper sets him up on a blind date with an old friend.” Another was a chat with the fandom bestie about various ideas we both have the mind for but not necessarily the time for. But, what really made me definitely go for it/make the time for this one was me rewatching Moonlight and remembering the classic goodie that is Hello Stranger by Barbara Lewis. It’s not very long and I don’t have the time to make it longer, so hopefully, it’s enjoyable.

Hello Stranger.

Jasper knocked on Henry’s door and wondered, “Are you cancelling the date?” 

Henry was literally in his boxers with a bowl of Frittles and about to turn on the Dog Judge marathon on the classics channel. “Ohhh… Yeah… I guess, I am!” He reached for his phone to text Jasper’s friend, but Jasper snatched the phone and texted instead, So sorry! Running late. Will definitely be there. “There! She’s expecting you to be a little late. Let’s get you dressed, now!” He took the bowl, much to Henry’s dismay and pulled him up by the wrists.

“Dude, just because you just got engaged doesn’t mean I need to go on a date!”

“No, it doesn’t. But, you’re certainly not gonna cancel a surprise date that I worked my butt off to arrange for you to sit in your underwear eating chips!”

“Some people would kill to have that option…” Henry complained. Jasper was hearing none of it. This was probably the best date that Henry would ever have. He had been sinking more and more into his work and becoming numb in every other area of his life. He barely noticed when Jasper stopped coming home, when Jasper fell in love, and when Jasper got around to being so involved with his partner that he was now engaged and getting ready to plan the rest of his life. He hardly even seemed to care when Jasper told him. He’d simply said, “Okay, well, I can move into the gift shop. That office in the back has room for a little bed.”

No! Jasper didn’t want to see his best friend die, a sad, lonely old man, or worse… Be a soulless manbaby like Ray Manchester. He wanted to see him happy and in love, or at least among a friend or two. It couldn’t be Jasper, right now. He would do what he could, but planning a wedding, contemplating children, and selecting a family dog were all his top priorities for now… If only he could get his worries off of Henry’s lack of a social life. So, he set him up on a blind date with an old friend and wanted it to be a surprise to the both of them.

His plan - to get them there to meet up and then voila! Seeing each other should do the rest. But, he didn’t want too much anticipation, so he just referred to them as “A friend that I think you’d like,” and gave them contact numbers and got them to text what they would be wearing. Now, Henry was so disinterested in this date that he forgot it was even happening; nevermind what she was supposed to be wearing! But, Jasper searched the text and found Henry’s outfit to fit the description… But it was “like a flannel shirt or plaid or something and jeans and boots.” Jasper rolled his eyes. 

But her response had been, “Okay. Sounds casual. Then, I’ll have maybe a floral blouse and khaki shorts. I’ll throw a flower in my hair in case the place is riddled with cutiepies in khaki.”

Jasper wiped his face, “It’s like neither of them even want to do this.”

.

Charlotte was already at the bar, with a virgin drink in a coconut. If Jasper’s little friend was gonna be all casual and stuff, she decided on a pretty casual place, but one with great ambience that wasn’t too far from her house, in case he was a loser. He was friends with Jasper, so… She chuckled and shook her head. That wasn’t nice. Besides, you dated him! But, that was ages ago. She and Jasper. And, it was honestly unexpected and probably just a move of convenience. They’d just gotten so close being in the background of all of Kid Danger’s things… She smiled to herself. Kid Danger. Henry Hart… Now, what the heck was HE up to?

She wondered if he’d kept in touch with Jasper. He certainly hadn’t kept in touch with her. She hadn’t seen or spoken to Henry in 10 years, despite all of those “friends always” declarations they’d made over the years as friends. It was surprising to her, but she got it. The guy was a superhero. Keeping in touch couldn’t be easy. She wasn’t even a hero and even keeping in touch with Jasper had been difficult for her, especially in the past few years. Engaged??? That was bonkers to her. He was probably still a great guy and all, but that somebody was ready to marry him forever… That was… Incredible. 

“Charlotte Page?” She heard a voice say and she turned and SPEAK of the Devil!

“Henry Hart?” her face brightened and she smiled and said, “Wow! HI! Good to see you!” She reached for a hug. “What are you doing here?” She asked. Then, she winced a little. It’s a bar and grill. He’s probably here for dinner, ya gunch!

Well, he didn’t want to say that he was meeting a date. In fact… Now, he didn’t want to meet his date! In fact… He had to cancel that date and Jasper would just have to be mad at him later. Charlotte obviously noticed his hesitation and filled in the space with her own plans, “I’m uh… I’m meeting someone for dinner, but I think he’s running late, if you wanna try to catch up for a bit?”

“Yeah. I do. I’d love that. I’ve just gotta run to the bathroom and wash my hands, then I’ll be right back to see what the ever-beautiful Charlotte Page is up to these days.” Henry rushed off and she smiled at his retreating back, noticing that he was in plaid and jeans. Wait… She took her phone out to check the text, because that was pretty much what her Jasper date was supposed to be wearing, and that would be quite the coincidence if… Hey. It’s Jasper’s friend. So sorry. Something really important came up and I can’t make it. Hopefully you have a great night though. She looked suspicious. More and more, this was looking like… She saw Henry returning, and tossed her phone into her bag and tried not to drool over him. 

He looked good. Like really good. And… his plaid was gone. Why was his shit gone? He just had on a t-shirt now. “Spilled water on myself, like an idiot and had to ditch my shirt,” he said. 

She laughed at that. “How do you spill water on yourself washing your hands?”

“I actually remembered that I had to wash my face too and also brush my teeth…”

“How and why would you even leave your home without doing that?” She asked, pretty disgusted.

“Enough about me! What’s up with you? You look good. You said that you’re meeting somebody?”

“Yeah. Well, not anymore. My schedule has freed, so - you wanna be my date tonight?” As soon as it came forth from her lips, she regretted it and tried to correct herself, “Not like date, but you know, like a date, an old friend date or whatever… Not… It doesn’t have to be a date, but…”

“I’d love to be your date,” he said, cutting her off and beckoning the bartender over. “What are you drinking? Something girly?”

“Something fruity and alcohol free.”

“No drinking for Ms. Page?”

“Not while I’m on a date. It hinders the decision making portion of the brain.”

“You won’t be obnoxious about it if I order a drink, will you?”

“Absolutely not. I do find it harder to trust people’s words and actions when they’ve hindered the decision making portion of their brain, but a great deal of my business happens because of those types of mistakes.”

“Morbid. What kind of doctor are you?”

She laughed, “What makes you think that I’m a doctor?”

“Well, I remember that you were going to go into engineering or medicine. I just haven’t talked to you enough to know which direction you went in.”

“Well, I was an engineering major, but I changed halfway through college. Never EVER bring that up to my parents, because they are both still pissed at me, to this day! I had gone through a bad breakup and my ex was top of our class and in the same field. I wanted both some distance and a change, so I let her have that world and I dove head first into political science.”

“Her? Your ex was a her?” Henry asked smiling.

“Grow up, Henry. People should connect at soul.”

“No, I agree. I just didn’t know. I knew you and Jasper dated in college. I thought that was pretty funny.”

“I don’t know if I like the word funny to describe that. It was definitely not perfect, but Jasper will always have a special place in my heart. He’s a good friend and he was a good boyfriend. He just wasn’t one for a long journey.”

“One for a long journey?” The bartender came and Henry said, “Yeah, I just need a licorice soda with a lime.” She grimaced at that order. That sounded disgusting. But, he went back to the conversation, “What is one for a long journey?”

Charlotte smiled and said, “Well… I don’t believe in eternity. I don’t believe in soul mates. I don’t believe in ‘the one.’”

“Great date topic.”

“Don’t interrupt. What I do believe is that individuals evolve and develop and the people that we interact with add to and take away from our lives, in order for us to become our best selves. We have to use every connection that we have as a means to grow. People are there so that we can take a journey together that nobody else is equipped to take with us. Sometimes the journey is short. Mine and Jasper’s was because we were friends stepping out into a bright new world and scared shitless. We needed support and wanted romantic connection in the meantime. It was great for what we both needed at the time. He helped me to relax when I was stressed and I helped him to take things seriously. It flowed until neither of us were getting what we wanted or needed and both of us knew that the journey had ended. But, then I met someone who… if I did believe in soul mates, she could have been that… But, a couple of years later, I realized that even though it was a longer journey than Jasper’s, it wasn’t an endless journey. I also realized that my journey needed a detour.”

“All of that is so over my head. Basically what I heard is that you love being in love but it's being committed that you’re unsure of.”

“You heard a different monologue than I gave, I assure you,” she laughed. “I am very committed, as a friend, a lover, or a business associate. My trustworthy reputation is how I keep clients.”

“You never told me what you do! You went into political science… Wait! Are you a lawyer?”

She smiled and said, “I thought about it, but I wound up working as a political analyst after becoming popularized by my commentary on social media and ran out of the time and energy for law school. I did eventually take the bar exam in a state that lets you do that without finishing law school, but I only did that to say that I did it.” She laughed.

“Same overachieving Char. So, you built an online rep and wound up doing well.”

“Yep. I went into crisis management a couple of years ago and recently started my own firm.”

“Crisis management…”

“Like what Olivia Pope does, but not as sensational… or as dangerous. Though, I have definitely gotten death threats…”

Henry suddenly looked alarmed and went into protective mode, “From who? They ever find them?”

She laughed and said, “Calm down, Hero. No need to blow a bubble tonight… Is that still how you do it?” She wondered. He raised an eyebrow and finally got his soda. “You know what? After 10 years, it's totally inappropriate of me to wonder about that part of your life. I’m sorry I asked.”

“No. It’s alright. I mean… I always presumed that you knew I was still working.”

“I am definitely a Captain Danger fangirl,” she said and blushed slightly.

“He’s alright.”

“Not according to my research. He’s expanded outside of Swellview, Bordertown, Neighborville, Rivalton, and I heard that he might be looking to expand even as far as Metroburg.”

“Jasper’s not supposed to be telling people stuff, Man.”

“He’s really bad at secrets when it comes to me, but he did good this time. I had no idea that he was setting this up.”

“Setting what up?”

“...This date. Didn’t Jasper send you here to meet up with a friend of his tonight?”

“Yeah… Wait… That was you???”

“Yeah. You totally ditched me tonight to go on a date with a more charming, hotter woman.”

Henry was bright red in the face. “I am so sorry! Why didn’t he just say that he wanted us to meet up? He knows I hate blind dates.”

“Maybe he didn’t think you’d want to see me. Last time we talked, it was pretty… uncertain how things would go. Then, we never talked again. Whenever we were dating, he would always ask, ‘Have you and Henry still not talked?’ and I’d tell him that you never call.”

“You never called, either.”

“I didn’t think it should be up to me. You were the one who was angry. I gave you space. I guess Jasper decided it was too much space.”

“Jasper decided that he didn’t want to see me move onto a cot in office of the florist and gift shop that I opened a floor above Junk n’ Stuff, because that’s what I intend to do since my roommate is getting married and it’d be a dick move to try to get him to move out of our apartment.”

“Jasper and Donovan are not moving into that apartment. They’ve got a house.”

“Jasper and Donovan have a house?”

“Donovan has a house and they’ll expect Jasper to move in, I’m sure…” She squinted her eyes and reminded him, “You know that Donovan’s pronouns are they, their, them?”

“Right. I do know that. Because, I was definitely told that. And I definitely can’t determine outside of that who Donovan might be.”

“You are borderline being transphobic. Donovan is nonbinary and they look androgynous, but anything beyond that is quite frankly none of our business.”

“I wasn’t being phobic. I just never really got a chance to be around this person much and now Jasper is marrying them? Like… Where did the time go? Where did my friends go?” He blinked a little and Charlotte reached out and held his hand. He looked at their hands, then into her eyes.

“Whoever you need on your journey will definitely be in your path whenever you do need them.” She smiled and squeezed his hand, “It feels good to be back…. You want to order something to eat?” His thumb caressed her skin and he nodded. She grabbed the menu that had been sitting in front of her this entire time and said, “I heard this place had a rockin’ jackfruit menu.”

“Jackfruit? They have a tomahawk steak called the Hunk o’ Cow… It’s like… It’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“I’m not eating a hunk of cow. Oooh, I see the jackfruit menu. This jackfruit poke bowl sounds good.”

“It absolutely does not!” 

.

After dinner, Henry walked Charlotte to her car and she was unsure if they should hug it out, kiss, if she should invite him to her place, ask to come to his… “Hey… I had a really great time. If this was a date with anyone else, I might wonder if they would like a nightcap. Me and you… There’s just so much history in the air. But, if you’re fine with us taking a different journey than we initially had before, my place isn’t far.”

Henry wrapped his hands around Charlotte’s waist and pulled her to himself for a hug. He felt her shiver in his touch and as much as he enjoyed that, she was right. There was a lot of history there and in his opinion, not nearly as much catching up as he needed in order to let his guard down with her yet. “That sounds amazing, but maybe another time? I definitely want some kind of journey with you. Just… Maybe a slow one, if that’s okay?” 

She smiled and nodded. “Of course it is.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and got into her car. “You have my number now. Call me. Don’t wait ten years.” 

“You kidding. You might be stuck on a very long journey with me, now.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” she said and winked. “It was really good to see you, Hen.” She started her car and this song began to play on the satellite station she had on. She heard the words and wondered if that was some kind of sign as she drove home. 

[24stiles920]

Fireflies

Teen Wolf Rewrite

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Warnings: Ages 16+, swearing, blood, dead bodies, brain matter

Words: 2626

A/N: I don’t know what to say about this, so—enjoy! 😊

Season 3A Masterlist

I sighed as mine and Lydia’s screams died down. I held my head, my headache coming back in full force. Lydia sat up and grabbed the aspirin bottle off her side table to get some more medicine, but the bottle was empty. I had taken the last of the pills without noticing.

“Wanna go to Walgreens?” I offered. “I’ll drive.”

Lydia nodded and got out of her bed, pulling her dress down from where it rose up. I copied her movements, fixing my own clothing. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my purse, waiting for Lydia to do the same.

“Mom, I’m going to the store!” Lydia called as we walked out of her room. “Mom, do you hear me?”

There was silence while Lydia’s voice echoed through her house.

“Of course, you didn’t,” Lydia sighed. “If you did, you would have heard us screaming like lunatics in here.”

We left the house and I looked up at the sky, remembering that it was still the night of the full moon. Speaking of lunatics…

“Lunatics.” Lydia sighed, shaking her head, as she stared up at the sky as well.

We got in my jeep and I started driving to Walgreens, which was open all night. We listened to Twenty-One Pilots while I drove, singing along to the meaningful lyrics. I texted Noah as I parked the car and we got out, not looking at my surroundings.

“Uh, Y/N?” Lydia said, her voice shaking. “Why are we here?”

I looked up to see that I was at the public pool. I crinkled my eyes in confusion as I looked back at my car and then back at the pool.

“I-I don’t know.” I stammered, “Why didn’t you tell me that I wasn’t going the right way to the store?”

“I didn’t notice!” Lydia threw her hands in the air, frustrated.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a shadow in pool and stepped closer, gasping when I saw a body.

“Oh, God.” I muttered, horrified. “Oh, my God, please don’t be dead.”

Lydia made a noise of agreement as I walked closer to the pool, hoping that the person wasn’t dead. “Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”

I kneeled down next to the edge of the pool and reached forward, grabbing the shoulder of the person and flipping them over. Lydia and I sighed in relief when we saw that the body was actually a swimming dummy.

“Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?” Lydia exhaled loudly.

I folded my hands together, feeling something sticky all over my fingers. I gasped as I looked at my hands and saw blood coating my hands. I panted in fright as I looked to my left to see a huge puddle of blood, dripping down from the lifeguard stand.

I glanced at the seat on the top on the stand. My eyes widened in horror as I took in the dead body sitting there, with his head bowed and his glassy eyes open in terror.

I screamed and backed away, falling on my ass as I cried. Lydia, sat next to me, holding my hand as I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed nine-one-one, crying into the phone as the operator answered. I told them what happened before hanging up and calling Stiles.

“This is crazy.” Lydia’s voice trembled as we waited for someone to get here. “How didn’t we notice that you drove here?”

“I don’t know.” I said mutely.

I heard the tell-tale sound of the jeep’s engine pull up and a door slam.

“Y/N?” Stiles called. “Lydia?”

“We’re over here.” Lydia waved her hand at Stiles.

Stiles ran to me and helped me up, giving me a tight hug and a kiss on my forehead.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Stiles asked, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“I’m okay.” I assured him shakily before pointing over at the lifeguard. “That, over there… Not okay.”

Stiles’ gaze followed in the direction from where my finger pointed, his eyes widening as he took in the bloody body.

“Yeah, all right.” Stiles said, taking his phone out of his pocket. “I’m gonna call my dad.”

“I already called nine-one-one.” I informed him.

“You called the police before you called me?” Stiles asked incredulously.

“I’m supposed to call you first when I find a dead body?”

“Yes!” Stiles yelled, making me flinch back. “Sorry, baby, I’m just worried.”

“It’s fine.” I whispered.

“When did Lydia get here?” Stiles asked, giving Lydia a curious glance.

“We came together.” I told him. “We didn’t notice where we were going.”

“Oh,” Stiles mumbled, looking surprised. “I-I’m gonna go call Scott.”

He dialed Scott’s number and put him on speaker so that Lydia and I could listen.

“What’s up?” Scott answered, sounding out of breath.

“What’s up? What’s up, is that Y/N and Lydia found a dead body.” Stiles told Scott. “The guy’s totally massacred.”

“Are you sure?” Scott asked.

“Yep.” Stiles nodded even though Scott couldn’t see him. “Throat ripped out, blood everywhere. It’s like the fuckin’ Shining over here. If two twin girls come out of the woods and start asking me to play with them forever and ever, I’m not gonna be surprised.”

“Can you get a little closer to make sure it was them?” Scott requested.

“Make sure it was them?” Stiles repeated. “Scott, who else is going around ripping throats out?”

“Please just do it.” Scott pleaded.

Stiles sighed and hung up on Scott, edging closer to the dead body. His eyes were level to the guy’s hand. He huffed as he looked up at the body before backing away as sirens began to ring as cop cars came to the scene.

“He was a virgin.” Stiles muttered to me.

“What?” I raised an eyebrow. “How do you know?”

“He has a purity ring.”

Noah walked up to me and placed a comforting hand on my arm.

“You okay, kiddo?” He asked. I nodded, giving him a small smile.

“Okay, I need to ask you some questions.” Noah warned me. “How did you find the body?”

“Lydia and I had headaches, so I offered to drive us to the store. I was driving to Walgreens, and w-we ended up here. I don’t know how.” I stammered. “I saw the dummy in the pool and then I saw the body in the lifeguard stand.”

Noah wrote in his notebook and asked me a few more questions before giving me a police escort home. While Lydia was given a ride home by a deputy, I got in my car and drove home, noticing a certain blue jeep following me.

I got out of my car and walked up the sidewalk to the house. Stiles ran up to me and held my hand, giving me a quick smile as I opened the front door. We walked together up the stairs and into my room.  

“You didn’t have to follow me home, babe.” I said, sitting down on the end of my bed. “I know you were busy.”

“I just wanted to make sure you got in okay.” Stiles shrugged, taking a seat next to me.

“I had a police escort.” I told him.

“I know the inner working of that force, okay? They’re not nearly as reliable as people think.” Stiles proclaimed.

“You didn’t have to follow me into my room.” I pointed out. “If you think you’re getting lucky tonight—”

“No, I’m good.” Stiles laughed once. “I can leave if you want me to.”

“Are you really gonna go without asking me the question that you’ve been dying to ask me?” I asked, raising my eyebrows at him.

“Well, I’m not—I haven’t been dying to ask anything. I—no questions here for Stiles. Nope. Nothing.” Stiles stammered.

“I can see it on your face.”

“Maybe my face just has, like, a naturally interrogatory exp-expression.” Stiles quipped.

“Stiles, I know your face. You only have that expression when you want to know something.” I gave him a pointed look. “The answer is, I have no clue how Lydia and I ended up finding that body. I didn’t even know where we were until we got out of the car.”

“Yeah, but the last time something like this happened…”

“I know. Derek’s uncle.”

“Peter.” Stiles nodded.

Stiles’ phone rang then, and he answered it. After a quick conversation he hung up the phone and turned to me.

“Get up.” He commanded. “We’re going to the hospital.”

-

Stiles and I held hands as we walked into the hospital. Melissa was at the front desk looking at paperwork while she waited for us.

“Hey.” Melissa greeted with a quick smile.

“Hey.” Stiles and I said in unison.

Melissa closed the file she was looking over and nodded her head to the left. “Over here. And if you tell anyone that I showed you this, I swear to God, I will kill both of you painfully and slowly.”

She grabbed our arms and led us down the hallway.

“Why do you want to show us a body we’ve already seen?” Stiles asked.

“Because you haven’t see everything.” Melissa said, opening the door to the Morgue. There were two bodies on separate tables, one was the guy I found at the pool and the other was covered up with a sheet. Melissa pulled us over to the guy I found and held the body’s head.

“See this around his neck?” Melissa asked, pointing to an angry, red line around the neck. “That’s a ligature mark. That means that he was strangled with something, like cord, rope—”

“Ah, okay, wait a second.” Stiles interrupted with a thoughtful face. “What kind of werewolf strangles someone? You know, that’s not very werewolf-y.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Melissa nodded, giving Stiles an approving look. She walked to the top of the bed and grabbed his head. “And then there’s this.”

“Holy God, what is that?” Stiles gagged as a mushy substance dripped out of the guy’s skull. “Is that brain matter? Yeah, it’s brain matter, of course.”

“See the indentation?” Melissa asked. “He was hit in the back of the head, hard enough to kill him. In fact, any one of these things could have killed him. I mean, someone seriously wanted this poor kid dead.”

“So then this couldn’t have been Boyd or Cora, you know?” I spoke up. “They wouldn’t have done all that. So maybe this is just one murder. I mean, maybe it’s just a random coincidence.”

“I don’t think it was just one.” Melissa said.

“How come?”

“Because that girl over there, she’s got the exact same injuries.” Melissa nodded to the other body.

We walked cautiously over to the table and Melissa uncovered the body. Stiles let out a gasp as we saw who it was, and I grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. Heather’s body was on the table and she was in bad shape. Tears gathered in my eyes and I couldn’t believe I was mad at Heather for some trivial things. It seemed pointless now.

“The Medical Examiner said this one wasn’t just strangled.” Melissa informed us. “Whoever did it used a garrote, which is a stick that you put through the rope and you just kind of keep twisting, and—”

Stiles let out the faintest whimper, but both Melissa and I heard it.

“Stiles?” Melissa asked, looking at us only to see tears in both of our eyes. “Y/N? Oh, my God, did you guys know her?”

Stiles nodded.

“I’m so sorry.” Melissa apologized, pulling the sheet back over Heather’s body. “I didn’t even think.”

“We were—“ I spoke up, as Stiles looked so sad. “We were at her party. It was her birthday. Her name is Heather.”

Stiles wiped the tears off his face.

“Okay, we need to call your father, Stiles, ‘cause you’re both witnesses.”

Stiles nodded but froze on the way to grab his phone. Looking at Heather’s body in thought.

“Babe?” I asked gently. “Stiles?”

Stiles looked up at Melissa, an urgent tone in his voice. “Has anyone else been through here tonight? Any—any other bodies, or even anybody missing?”

Melissa and I shared confused glances, but slowly, Melissa answered.

“Uh, no, no bodies.” Melissa shook her head. “But, um—”

“What?”

“Two girls. They brought the first one in, Caitlin, for a tox screen, and then I overheard that her girlfriend, Emily, just disappeared.” Melissa informed us. “I mean, they were out in the woods and—”

“Nobody’s found her yet?” Stiles cut her off.

“I don’t know.” Melissa shrugged.

“Okay, first one.”

“Caitlin.” Melissa supplied.

“Okay.” Stiles nodded. “Is she here? Is she here right now?”

“I think so.”

“Okay, where?” Stiles asked, moving to leave the room, only to be stopped by Melissa.

“Okay, okay, wait.” Melissa said. “Just wait a minute.”

“I have to talk to her.” Stiles demanded.

“Why?” Melissa wondered.

“Because I think I know what’s happening.” Stiles announced. Turning to me, he explained. “I didn’t tell you this, but Heather told Scott she wanted to lose her virginity that night.”

“Okay, but—”

“And the guy at the pool had on a purity ring.” Stiles added. “And remember that research we came across that one time? Where the victims were bashed in the head, throat’s slashed, and strangled?”

“Three-fold death.” I realized with wide eyes. “You think they’re sacrifices?”

“That’s exactly what I think.” Stiles nodded, turning to Melissa. “We need to talk to Caitlin.”

Melissa led us to Caitlin’s room, where the girl, not that much older than us, was willing to talk to us.

“We weren’t doing anything that bad.” Caitlin told us. “I mean, I’ve camped out there plenty of times.”

“Right, but why tonight?” Stiles asked.

“We wanted to be alone for one night.” Caitlin sighed. “Emily lives with her mom, and I have three roommates. Not exactly romantic settings, you know?”

“How long have you two been together?” I asked, giving her a small smile.

“Three months.” Caitlin said, looking at her hands with a smile at the thought of her girlfriend.

“And you wanted to make it romantic.” Stiles assumed.

“Yeah, you know, because…” She trailed off, looking away sadly.

“Because it was her first time.” I finished.

Caitlin nodded, a tear running down her cheek.

“They’re gonna find her, right?” Caitlin asked Stiles. Stiles and I looked at her sadly, realizing that Emily probably awaited the same fate that Heather and the pool guy had. “Aren’t they?”

“We hope so, Caitlin.” I took her hand, giving her a soothing smile. “We hope so.”

-

Scott looked at Heather’s body with an interested, yet sad look. Stiles and I had just explained what happened and that Boyd and Cora, who was Derek’s long-lost sister, come to find out, hadn’t killed anyone.

“So, Boyd and Cora might not have killed anyone?” Scott asked, leaning against a stainless steel table.

“You’re gonna wish they did.” Stiles muttered.

“Why?” Scott furrowed his eyebrows.

“We’re not exactly sure yet.” I started. “The other girl who was out in the woods, Emily?”

“Eventually, they’re gonna find her.” Stiles went on. “She’s one of them. Emily, Heather…That guy Y/N and Lydia found at the pool. All three were virgins…And they’re all gonna have the same three injuries—strangled, throat slashed, head bashed in.”

Scott looked confused, so I tried to clear it up for him. “It’s called the threefold death.”

“So, if these aren’t random killings, then what are they?” Scott wondered.

“Sacrifices.” Stiles sighed. “Human sacrifices.”

Tag list

@julzdec @karamelcoveredolicity @thegirlalmighty01 @avadakedabitch @belleknows @supernaturallover2002  @dontstopxx @feelingsareharddd @brien-odylan  @shewritesshedraws @dylnobrien1911 @kaleyana @mad-hatter-021 @nikcentric @addietagglikesbands @seninjakitey @shayke-and-bake @southsiderepresent @screamxqueenx94 @lostinwonderland314 @multifandomtrash67

[anarchiceris]

All of the questions thingy!

http://undertale-cat.tumblr.com/post/168783713850/70-horrible-questions-fuck-it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? - Well yeah kind of. Despite of differences we manage to get along quite nicely.  02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? - My boyfriend lmao 03: Do you regret anything?

- We all regret some stuff and some just accept it... mine would be eating a whole tub of ice cream

04: Are you insecure?

- Yeah I am. Appearance? Yes, My personality? Yes.  05: What is your relationship status? - Taken away~ 06: How do you want to die? - Fabulous or Dramatically 07: What did you last eat? - Giant dumpling and katsudon N O REGRETS! 08: Played any sports? - Swimming, Track team one time, badminton, volley ball one time, bowling, i dunno if sudoku is one but yeah as well as chess 09: Do you bite your nails? - Nope not really. I have some bubblegum with me for that 10: When was your last physical fight? - Dont really remember 11: Do you like someone? :’3c well yes 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? - couldnt even last a day without sleep so no 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? - Not much of a hater too much work =_= 14: Do you miss someone? - my auntie and godfather 15: Have any pets? - got 10 dogs, 7 cats (strays), and 2 birds 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? - content! 17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

- Boi! I never get kissed before :”D

18: Are you scared of spiders?

- No but like a normal person I’d stay away from them 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

- After watching Doctor who or back to the future, NOPE! 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

- NEVER KISSED SOMEONE :D 21: What are your plans for this weekend?

- Doing more art I guess? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? - 2 is enough but pets? 10 <3 23: Do you have piercings? How many? - Not really sure but I have ear cuffs and people thinks I do have piercings :”D 

although only my ears are pierced 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

- psychology, college algebra? and physics 25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

- AUNTIE AND GODFATHER 26: What are you craving right now?

- SOmething savory =-= 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

- No not really? 28: Have you ever been cheated on?

- According to what others told me... yes? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

- Sweet sweet happy tears :”3c with cute sniffles 30: What’s irritating you right now?

- my skin cuz its itchy at the moment :”D 31: Does somebody love you?

- Family loves me, teachers love me, friends love me and my boyfriend loves me 32: What is your favourite color?

- Red! Its cool looking 33: Do you have trust issues?

- Pfft I cant even trust myself sometimes so ya :”D except those I trust 34: Who/what was your last dream about?

- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!  35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

- Cat :”D 36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Not really unless they deserve it 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

- Well not really 38: Is this year the best year of your life?

- Have my ups and downs but its kinda okay? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

- MASMGLKDFMBSKLDSDG IM STILL A LIP VIRGIN! 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

- when i was a baby yes? 51: Favourite food?

- DEAR LORD! UM UH.... KATSUDON WITH FRIED RICE? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

- Kinda? sometimes so suddenly or a coincidence 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

- saying goodnight to my bf 54: Is cheating ever okay?

- cheating on exam? No

-Cheating on games? For fun? Maybe - cheating on relationship? If you want to suffer the depths of hell its up to you e_e SO NO 55: Are you mean?

- Im mean when I need to 56: How many people have you fist fought?

- Dont really remember :”D 57: Do you believe in true love?

- in food? yes. in relationship? Boi howdy ya 58: Favourite weather?

- Rainy its very calming to hear 59: Do you like the snow?

NEVER HAD SNOW HERE 60: Do you wanna get married?

- Pfft its my destiny to get married 

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

- Its cute when Cat said it :”D 62: What makes you happy?

- animals.... - memes - Fam - Cat -Friends 63: Would you change your name?

Nah Im good :”D 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

- I NEVER GOT KISSED BEFORE 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

- Platonic? Eh then I’ll allow it Romantic or Sexual? I’ll politely tell them that im taken :D 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

-Yes 2 actually 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

- Cat 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Cat again 69: Do you believe in soulmates?

... Do you see how me and Cat act :”D 

or you want us to do that undertale thing and pull out our souls 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

I almost died for a kitten once :”D so my fam, friends and loved ones I guess but its best to stay alive

[tamsclapper-blog]

The Artificial Clam that Ruined Christmas

Dave and Broth knew it wasn’t real. How could it be? Real clams weren’t limp and dry to the touch. A real clam had gumption. Yet there they were, packing it into a box with brightly colored tissue paper.

            They told their grandmother, 10 years past, that they joined the Navy. They even sent pictures of themselves dressed in real Navy suits they found in the dumpster behind the Taco Bell. She believed every photo, and now believed her grandsons lived in an ocean view condo in North Carolina. If she knew they really lived in Arkansas, a simple state known only for harboring the man who invented ziploc bags, she woulda busted a nut.

            Truth was, Broth was more frightened of the ocean than a baby is of fingernail clippers. And Dave, well Dave was ashamed of his brother and feared that he too might be afraid of the ocean. It was this ‘what if’ mentality that kept him several coat throws away from ever visiting the shore to find out what was or what wasn’t.

So when Broth got a call from their grandmother requesting they come for Christmas, he was feeling mighty pleased with himself for keeping a bushel of oceanfront pictures under his bed all ziploced and ready to go, but then she said something that made him wish he was holding a ziploc bag to breathe deeply into: “Bring something from the ocean.”

*

Broth sat in the passenger seat with the small box between his legs. He gazed out the window, avoiding eye contact with his brother. Dave held the wheel firmly and gritted his teeth. “I can’t believe there isn’t a single crustacean in this god-fucking bag-loving state.”

            Broth said nothing.

            “Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like without you. I imagine it could be pleasant and simple. After all, I’m not the one who’s afraid of the ocean.”

            “You sure about that?” Broth shot.

            Dave’s eyes flickered but he was quick to regain composure. They rode in silence until they crossed the state line and said in unison, “Panty horse”. It was a state line crossing tradition in their family.

             That night they stopped at a motel that was as famous for reuniting folk as it was for people untucking the covers, plunging in, and sleeping the whole night through. When they arrived the woman at the front desk could tell they were brothers and had been fighting. Dave arranged for two separate rooms with an adjoining door but the woman, pointing to a poster with their ‘Never Go To Bed Angry’ slogan, said she only felt comfortable giving them a single room with one, rather puny, bed.

            So there they were. Two faithful brothers kneeled down on opposite sides of the bed, hands folded hamburger style as they prayed. Broth prayed for a safe trip, a steadfast grandma, and for the ziploc enterprise to come out with a bag that could dry a bathing suit. Dave prayed for salt in the complimentary breakfast and that he wouldn’t have to sleep with his ass cheeks all pressed up against his brothers; a prayer not well received.

             In the morning they ate breakfast on the patio among the lilies and wire chairs. Dave was delicately brushing butter on his muffin when a man, who looked like he wouldn’t know the difference between John Kennedy and Clark Gable if you paid him, blocked out the sunlight with his lingering torso.

            “You boys on the road?” for a rough and tougher he had a surprisingly high-pitched voice.

            “We’re men,” Dave said, not looking up from his food.

            Broth said, “Headed west to see our grandma!”

            “West, alright. Okay. You can take my sister along with you, at least as far as Santa Fe,” the man supposed.

            Dave said, “Now why in the hell would we do that?”

            Broth’s hand shook like a thespian’s broomstick, “Dave, Don’t loose your temper,” he was in a deep seated eye lock with the standing man, “We better take her, Dave. We better do what he says.”

            “That’s right, there, Davey. Better do what I say. Ha.”

            Furiously, Dave launched from his seat, but when his eyes met the mans he handed over his watch quicker than a half-baked choir boy can say ‘no loose change.’

            Broth’s shaking was so anti-miniscule that a muffin shot out of his hand and landed in the shirt pocket of a young girl, about 12, who came to stand by the mysterious man. Patting her brim filled pocket, she flashed her metal braced teeth.

            “This here’s my sister, Olbright, take her with you wherever you want,” he turned to Dave who was gripping the table for support, “Just don’t let me catch any you three in this town again. You hear?”

            Broth tipped his hat and stood to bow, “We hear everything. I can hear better than a cocker spaniel.”

            “Uh, huh,” the man said skepticly.

            Olbright pulled up a chair and the sun returned as the man disappeared, unless you had been paying attention and saw him walk away in a normal fashion. Dave tried to shake his heavy daze. He had that sick feeling you get in your gut when you trade one good gemstone for one mediocre at best gemstone at a convention – and nobody could hear his cry.

            “You guys got any bees?” Olbright asked impatiently.

            “No,” Broth replied. “The bees have been disappearing. No one really knows what’s happened to them.”

            Olbright crossed her arms and kicked the leg of the table.

            “I’ll go pay the bill,” Dave said.

*

The only two things the car ride after the hotel had in common with the car ride before the hotel were that Dave and Broth weren’t doing much talking and the road was long and arduous. The difference was that now they had Olbright and she simply wouldn’t shut up. She talked for hours about catholic school and how she had never gone there. Then she talked about catalog models and how their faces change over time. What ticked the two brothers off the most was how oblivious she was that they had both gotten haircuts during the last pit stop. She just kept chipping away at their souls with talk of crowded city corners and pinto beans. Broth was just about ready to settle his head between his knees for a nap when the chatterbox from hell yelled, “What is this thing?!” with disgust from the backseat.

            “Jesus! That’s a clam for our grandma. Wrap that back up!”

            “A Whaaat?”

            “A clam from the ocean.”             “Um. Is your grandnanny blind?”

            “Um, No!”

            “This is not from the ocean. Even I know that and I’ve never even been there.”

            “Oh yeah,” Dave chimed in, “Well how come you never been to the ocean. You scared or something.”

            “Noooo, I don’t think so.”

            Broth reached back and grabbed the artificial clam and its box wrappings. “Why don’t you take it easy back there. Just go to sleep or something.”

            “I can’t. It’s day.”

            “Then let’s play the silent game. For the next hour I want it so quiet I can hear my teeth chatter.”

            “But what about the engine. Are you going to turn off the engine just to play a game? That’s really irresponsible.”

            “Enough!” Dave shouted and slammed on the brakes.

            Then, and only then, that artificial clam ever so gingerly flew from Broth’s flimsy grasp, broke through the front windshield and bounced off the hood.

            “Holy. Mother. Of. CHRIST!”

            “The Virgin Mary?” Olbright asked.

            “Yes,” Broth whispered, bowing his head in defeat, “Or so I’ve been told.”

            Slamming the car door behind him, Dave started down the gravel road. Broth scurried to his beloved clam. The shell wasn’t chipped, but the half- chalk like half-caulk like ‘clam’ broke off. Stuffing the pieces in his pocket with an iron fist, he ran after Dave, screaming his name on high. Catching up with his brother, who was paused in the road, and an eerie feeling came over Broth. He felt afraid to speak.

            “I can’t stop thinking about what happened at that hotel.” Dave said gravely.

            “What do you mean?”

            “Come off it.” The wind picked up and a wave of dust washed over their blue suede shoes.

            “I – I dunno.” Broth muttered, “That man made me feel like I was hiding in a kitchen with all pots and no pans. I hate feeling that way.”

            “So do I. I felt weak. And now look what were dealing with,” They looked over at Olbright who was kicking at a car tire. “We can’t keep living this way. Fear is ruining us. Maybe we should just go to the ocean and –“

            “NO! No, Dave anybody would have given a man like that their watch and looked all dumb faced and eagle eyed. That wasn’t fear, just common sense.”

            “Hey!” Olbright called out, “You guys wanna see your dumb old granny or ya’ wanna squat in the dusty road all day?”

            “Granny.”

*

When they arrived at grandma’s, everyone was feeling pharmaceutical. Broth had super glued a piece of ziploc to the shell and another to the artificial clam so that it locked neatly into place.            Dave lifted Olbright into an open window and she went around and unlocked the door. The weary eyed travelers sat by grandma’s feet as she napped in her ottoman. There was nothing to do but wait.

            When she woke, she opened one eye at a time and then her mouth. This is what came out of it, “When I was a little girl my father’s father took me to the sea. I loved the sea and the way the sand was like tiny pebbles, only different. I had waited with cold breath all winter for grandfather to see me in my swimsuit, and now there we were. He whipped off his shirt and ran for the water. “Come on, Virginia! Take off your top, the waters fine!” But to my surprise, I couldn’t do it. The sea had made me shy. I never went back after that day. And that’s why I’m so proud that you boys, my grandsons, live in peace along the seaside.”

            Broth presented the gift, feeling he might faint. Dave gulped. ‘She’ll know, she’ll know,’ he thought.

            Just then the telephone rang. Broth rolled over and rubbed his eyes. A dream, it had all been a dream! “Thank. God,” he expressed, grabbing the receiver.

            “Talk to me.”

            “Broth?”

            “Grandma? What a coincidence, I was just having the strangest dream about you.”

            “Really? What was the dream?”

            “Uh…you were drinking cherry cola in an igloo,” he lied.

            “Oh, dear! That’s wonderful. You know, I haven’t had cherry cola in years. That is a coincidence! Listen dear, I know it’s short notice, Christmas being only eight and a half days away and you boys living way out by out ocean, but I really would love a visit.”

            “We’d love to come see you, grandma.”

            “Good! Good it’s settled. Can’t wait to see you! Oh, and bring some cherry cola.”

            “Okay, Gram.”

            “Oh, and Broth? Bring something from the ocean too. Ta ta.”

 *

 Broth spent the afternoon preparing a rather suggestive meal for his brother.

            “Baby back ribs, baby carrots, and baby snap peas. Notice any theme here?”

            “No,” Dave spat as he tucked his napkin into his turtle necked sweater.

            “Well, you should, cause were going to grandma’s, baby!”

            Broth had the whole dream carefully written out, just as you’ve read above. I, Broth wrote that, just as I’m writing this, and I read it to Dave, stuttering and shaking like a bitch on pay roll. When I finished he fled the room and came back with a sketching of the mysterious standing man and a map pointing to where grandma probably lived in the dream. This is how I knew he understood what we had to do.

            We filed into the car, closing the smooth metal doors like true gentleman. We sailed past grandma’s house, who in real life lived right down the street, a secret us brothers guarded in the evening, morning, and early noon.

            This journey called for far more courage than a simple romp to grandma’s, and I figure you’re not too dim witted to know we were headed to the very thing we disowned decades ago; the mad sea. What you probably are too stupid to know is that the strange man in the dream represented our grandmother’s neighbor, Armen Kelley, who was always looming about, especially around the holidays, bragging about his best selling novel; ‘The Ocean and All the Things that are Really from it and All the Things that Aren’t.’ If we brought something artificial to Christmas this man would be our downfall, believe you me.

             Dave and I rode together in perfect unison down a road that was so malleable, you could slip a penny in it if it were a pair of loafers, and said, “Panty horse” when crossing our first state line.

After two days of travel we finally found a motel we could agree on called Absolute Fascination, and it was there that I caught my first glimpse of hell. Toes huddled together, I hid behind my knees on the cold bathroom tile.

            Dave knocked on the door, “Are you thinking about Jed Maco in there?”

            “No,” I lied. Jed Maco was a lad I went to school with who’s parents wrapped his lunch in tin foil instead of ziploc bags. My hatred for the Maco’s helped steer my mind off something of a vastly blue persuasion.

            Dave flattened himself, slid under the crack of the door and reformulated. I didn’t even know he was behind me until he tugged on my ponytail. I wheeled around and we were nose to nose – two brothers – just as it should be, would be, and was.

            “Have you ever heard the expression ‘the world is your oyster’?”

            I nodded.

            “Well, what if it really could be.”

            “Don’t like oysters,” I said after thinking it over.

            “But what if you did like them, Broth. What if we could lay out sunbathing, go parasailing!”

            “Take it easy.”

            “If nothing was holding us back, we could-“

            “I don’t want to hear your ‘we coulds’! I do just fine without those things. Maybe I don’t want to be here at all, did you think of that? Maybe I was fine as doing before that female doctor before her time reached into the utero and pulled me out by the hind legs!”

            Needless to say we both got like 50 emails that night. They were prank emails.

*

“David B. Cylinderthrob, clearly you are under much stress. Your hair follicles have been startled by something. What did you do to them? Well, anyway, that’s why you’re bald now,” the doctor spouted, tactlessly.

            We had arrived at the seaside earlier that day, where the mystery of whether Dave was or wasn’t scared of the ocean receded as quickly as the strands of dead skin cells that used to round his face, drawing attention from his ‘maybe its maybelline’ cheekbones. And we hadn’t even left the car.

            “But doctor,” Dave pleaded, “Without my hair, how will anyone be able to tell I’m albino?”

            “Oh, its still very obvious, Mr. Cylinderthrob.” The doctor bent down on one knee and held Dave’s chin affectionately,             “You’ll always have those beady little eyes.”

            Dave blushed.

            “Say, doc,” I interrupted, “Who’s thong strap do I have to snap to get some cheese curls or chili around here.”

            “Just go to the end of the hall and take a right. There will be four elevators, use the middle-left one and wait until the doors close before you press the round ‘four’. The button will light up when you do this, but don’t be frightened. When you step out, take a smart right and pass the first set of stairs. When you reach the second, descend. If we have cheese curls or chili that’s where they’d be, in the cafeteria.”

There were rows of them, nestled sweetly in a shallow tin platter, each shell raised at half mast exposing the steamed bodies of a certain sea urchin my brother and I had been clamoring for. They were the size of a wax turtle figurine if the turtle were the size of a rock that’s the circumference of a zookeepers fist, and I had a feeling Grandma was going to ‘go ape shit’ when she saw. I ordered one in a to-go box and a double helping of noodle casserole; I was eating for two since Dave’s appetite went out the window, barreling towards the tides with his luscious locks.

            I went up to find Dave seated in a wheel chair with one sad balloon tied to the handle, pathetically grazing the cruel tile floor. This was a man voted ‘Best Hair for an Albino’ in his senior year booklet, and now he looked like a tried and true grape, ready to combust.

            “Well, at least one good thing came out of this.” I announced.

            Dave grunted.

            I opened the to-go box, waving the morsel under his nose. His eyes glimmered for a moment, then he pushed it away. “Let’s get this honkey tonk Christmas road show on the road where it belongs.”

            I could tell he was going to be a real prick the whole way home.

 *

 I loved Christmas as a kid. It was the only day of the year my parents would let me use the bathroom before Dave at times when we had to go at the same time. It was also when my father and I would enter in an annual competition, just me and him, testing our fate in The Father and Second Favorite Son Snowmobile Race for Non -New Yorkers and Ex- Policemen. We even almost won one year. I remember that day like it was corn water in a vase. But it wasn’t, it was Christmas.

            Papa-runie had resurrected an old snowmobile from the dead, and this thing was mad. It was a three speeder but I swear it rocked like twenty-seven speeds. Mama usually didn’t let us wear helmets cause she said it made our heads look too big for our bodies, but when she got a load of what we’d be riding that year she said, “God has no head mercy for the foolish.”

            She wrapped our baby sister, Juniper, up in some old cloth, stuffed her in a French horn, and slung it over her shoulder. I remember at the starting line how mom’s brass horn reflected off my fathers wrist watch forming a powerful beam that flashed square in my eye, nearly cataracting me. They were so in love.

            “On your marks?” The mayor inquired.

            I looked to the father and son team to our right; a baseball card collector named Ted Bundy and his father, an ex-cop turned con. We were going to pulverize them, I thought mischievously.

            “Go!”

            Everything went silent. We were traveling so fast, sound couldn’t catch up. A voice verbatimed in my head, “Unbuckle your helmet.” It seemed a familiar voice, though too angelic to be my mothers. “Unbuckle and remove your helmet, Broth. It’s time to let go.” My hands reached up as if it weren’t even me moving them and unleashed my neck from its itchy strapped hell, throwing the blasted thing behind us. And then, it felt like a million knives stabbed into me. It was a pain like nothing I’d ever experienced. We had ridden over ice and it broke. I swam as fast as any boy wearing thirteen pairs of long johns could, and my mother was waiting at the ponds edge to lift me out. My father sunk immediately. It was the helmet, it was just too heavy. Devastated, I watched as the victors crossed the finish line. The boy pulled down his pants to taunt me with the fleshy keister and his old man flipped me a bird or two.

            The next day my mother and sister perished in a fire. Since then its been just me and Dave; Dave taking care of me, me taking care of Dave, and our Grandma making peroshkis and buying us the latest trouser trend. Now, with clam in hand, I finally felt man enough to repay that woman.

 *

 Armen Kelly. Was he beast or was he man? All I knew for sure was he was on our Grandma’s porch patting us down, “Saw it in an old cops and robbers film,” he offered aimlessly as Dave pushed his way through the hinged openers that could only properly be described as doors.

            When I saw her my heart stopped for half a second, beat, and then repeat itself just as it always does. At first she didn’t notice us because she was ravenously licking envelopes but then, in one maddening arm swoop, all the letters flittered to the ground and she motioned us to sit on her coffee table. I tried my weight and it teetered but with a bit of fidgeting Dave and I sat simultaneously on opposite ends to even things out, and Armen handed over a piggy bank to make up for the five pounds Dave had on me. Grandma didn’t make a peep except to give some balongie excuse for her favorite team, The Nicks, and to coin a new term. I took out my ziploc bag full of beach photos and passed them around.

            “You bring these same photos every year,” Armen spouted, “Why don’t you take a new shot or two?”

            Dave came to my rescue, “Actually, Mr. Kelly, Broth takes a picture of our beloved ocean front every morning, but he likes those few shots so much that he keeps taking them again and again. It takes a true artist to copy an image so exact.”

            Armen muttered under his breath.

            “Yes, and the morning before we left, I scooped from the shore a morsel so succulent that I couldn’t help but wrap it in Garfield franchise paper, dab a bow on top, and bring it to the only women I know who enjoys playing Scattagories with a spinner instead of a dice,” I said smoothly, taking the gift out my pocket like a boss. Grandma unwrapped the clam and bounced it on her knee, giggling like a school girl, when old ‘Shoulda Beena Stillborn’ put on his reading glasses and got his nose all up in the shell, sniffing.

            “My dear Virginia. I hate to say it, but I’m afraid this here clam is an artificial.”

            “A WHAT?” I shouted.

            “That’s from the Atlantic, you man fetus,” Dave chirped.

            “As is noted in my book, ‘The Ocean and All the Things that are Really from it and All the Things that Aren’t’, or TOAATTTARFIAATTTA, as we call is down at the publishers station, a real bivalve molluscs, which one would have to go to the ocean to find, has two valves which are connected by both a hinge joint and a ligament. This clam here? No ligament.”

            “Armen,” Grandma sighed, “Everyone knows how much help you had writing that gruesome sea urchin book. Really, I don’t think you’d know a real clam if it crawled into bed with you and took off your socks.”

            “It’s a fake!” he shouted and stomped.

            “Sit down, Armen, you’re getting red in the face. It’s unbecoming.”

            “Your boys don’t live by the ocean!” He turned to face us, “I see you phonies at the grocery store every Sunday!”

            The room went silent except for Dave crunching on cheetos, then he looked up and lamely said, “No.”

            Armen paced like a hobby horse ready to leave the station.

            “Okay,” Grandma finally spoke, “Yes, I know the boys don’t live by the ocean.”

            My eyes widened.

            “You use so many ziploc bags. Only an Arkansinian zips and locks with such pride.”

            Dave bursted from his corner of the coffee table, toppling me to the ground, shouting,  “I told you so, I told you so, I toooold you to lay off the ziplocs!”

            “What the fuck, Dave! You never said that! Besides, you use ziploc bags all. the. time.”

            “Boy’s, stop! It’s my turn to talk and I’m going to talk for a long time, so curl up like cats on the floor!”

             I laid my head on a broken table leg and drifted in and out of consciousness as grandma spoke for many hours. At times it seemed like everything was in slow motion, like when Armen Kelly walked backwards to the front door and closed it oh so slowly behind him. I couldn’t possibly reiterate all that was said, but here’s what I did pick up on: grandma, as it turns out, doesn’t give two shakes of a lambs tail about the ocean, and never understood why we thought she did. She spoke in high regards of the inventor of ziploc bags, calling him the prince of plastic. She also rambled about D-Day in such a contradictory way that I was unable to assess whether she was for or against the tragic day. I woke to Grandma breaking smelling salts under my nose.

            She led us single file into the dining room where Dave and I’s gifts sat on the table. We opened them feverishly, revealing two thirty caliber machine guns. We pointed them to the ceiling, and with each bang specks of ceiling fell like little snowflakes, raining down on us, covering my face just as the snowfall did on the night my father died and I laid in the backyard feeling still an untouched pill. Through the silent cracks between bangs, I could faintly hear my Grandmother’s cries; “Stop! My house!” But that didn’t matter now.