#“that scares me 'cause I'm not gonna help you” wonderful. very constructive. thanks so much
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little-bit-of-mystery · 1 year ago
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astro-rain · 4 years ago
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delicate; b. barnes
chapter five - “fight or flight”
delicate masterlist
word count: 1.7k
synopsis: bucky and (Y/N) have their first official therapy session.
pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader
[A/N]: this story is available my wattpad as an OC @/ typicaldaze :))
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She stood in front of her bed, ringing out her hands. Her gaze trailed off to nowhere specific, feet planted firmly on the floor of her room, body rigid and straight. She was nervous. This was no foreign feeling, but unpleasant all the same. Today was the first ever therapy session with Bucky.
She hadn't realized how strange it felt until she really thought about her position here. She never worked as an official therapist. She studied neuroscience and psychology, and the relationship between neurobiology and behavior. Don't get her wrong, she knew psychology, she knew trauma and how it interacted with the brain. In fact, sometimes her knowledge seemed like the only thing she could rely on, a consistent comfort and constant truth to keep her feet on the ground.
She shook the thought with a shake of her head, cracked her knuckles, and went for the door. She would have to get used to the Wakandan royal-guest living quarters. It looked like a five star hotel. No, a six star hotel; there is no such thing as a six star hotel, but Wakanda made it happen. That's what Y/N thought, anyway.
Briefly, she wondered what Bucky thought of it. Was he staying in the same area? He could be across the lake for all she knew. The castle was huge and had extensions everywhere. She wondered if he felt lonely here. She wondered if he felt scared, or relaxed, or if he didn't care at all. She thought this was all a little intimidating. She was wary of getting lost as she followed the directions Shuri gave her yesterday.
Her hands found themselves fidgeting again as she continued walking. Before, she was standing by, assisting Shuri and Bucky when needed. Now, she was going to be sitting in a room alone with Bucky. One on one. This would be more personal. (Y/N) was again intimidated. Not by Bucky, but by the nature of their relationship. She just wanted to do well. She just wanted to do right by him.
-
Alone in a room, tips of fingers tapped restlessly on the arm of a chair. Simultaneously, while walking down the hall, tips of fingers tapped nervously on the side of a thigh.
(Y/N) stood up as a Wakandan royal-aid escorted Bucky into the room. Immediately, she noticed his eyes scanning over the room, undoubtedly and probably unconsciously surveying for exits, possible threats, etc.
A brain that never rests, she thought.
The two of them thanked the aid and bid him farewell before standing in an awkward silence.
"It's nice to see you again, Bucky. I trust you're doing well," (Y/N) cut the tension.
The eloquent politeness was a weird taste on her tongue. She put up with it.
Bucky offered a smile. "Yes, thank you."
It took her a second to realize they were still both standing.
"Oh! Please sit. We can get started."
There were two couches across from each other. One a deep green, the other a pale blue. They were a nice contrast again the walls, which were clad in beautiful Wakandan designs of various shades of orange, yellow, and red. Except for one. On the far end of the room was a huge glass window, taking up the entire span of the wall. There were two end tables on each couch, and a small desk in the one corner with a warm golden lamp. The room was calm and welcoming.
"So, today isn't gonna be huge," (Y/N) started. "It is our first session, so we'll just talk, ya know, settle in."
Bucky nodded.
"So, how have you been? Adjusting well? Hating it? Absolutely no opinion?"
There was then a slight lightheartedness in her professionalism. It helped to put him at ease.
Bucky looked at his hands. "I'm doing alright. This place still needs a little gettin' used to, but that's expected."
"That's good to hear." She smiled slightly. "Wakanda is... a lot for an outsider. I don't think it matters if you're from another century or not."
Bucky chuckled.
"To be honest, I don't even know what therapy really is. They didn't have much of it in the forties."
"Well, it can be pretty hard sometimes, so here's a fair warning. Especially seeing the stuff you went through, just be prepared for difficulty."
As soon as she mentioned this, his demeanor changed.
"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess difficulty is to be expected... with me."
That last part was so quiet she almost didn't hear it.
"Hey," (Y/N) said softly, "difficult is fine. It just means a little extra work.
Bucky looked up at her.
His eyes are very blue.
"A little extra work," he repeated, thoughtfully. "I think can do that."
"Do you get escorted everywhere like you did earlier?"
"Pretty much, yeah. Security measure, I guess," Bucky shrugged.
"I can understand that. You don't look scary though."
He then looked very confused.
"Th...thank you?"
"I'm just saying-I feel like it would probably be fine to let you walk here by yourself. It's only a problem when you hear the trigger words, right?"
"I think so, but I can't be sure. Neither can they. It's best to just keep everyone safe."
"Safe from..."
"Me."
"Well, you look perfectly gentle to me. I think it's the Winter Soldier they want to keep at bay."
That threw him for a loop. Gentle. Never in Bucky's life has he been described as gentle. At least... he didn't think so. He wasn't overly trusting of his memory.
"Kinda the same thing, don't ya think?"
"No."
Simple and head first into the point. Bucky once looked confused at her sureness.
"No?"
"No. You and the Winter Soldier are separate. It's not like you decided to go down that road. You weren't given a choice."
"Yeah, I guess."
She didn't seem the least bit convinced of his answer, but she decided to leave it alone.
(Y/N) uncrossed and re-crossed her legs, changing the subject and the mood.
"So, tell me about Steve!"
"Steve?"
"Yeah, I mean he rebelled against like a hundred countries to help you. I assumed you guys were close."
"Well," he started, leaning back in his seat, "he's my oldest friend, and my only friend now, I suppose. Stubborn ass, isn't he?"
"Maybe," (Y/N) smiled. "Sometimes stubborn is good, though. I can admire that. He isn't easily pushed around, that I can tell."
Bucky nearly snorted. "You should've seen him back when we were kids. Pushed around was part of his daily routine."
She almost giggled. "Oh, man. Poor Steve. He was lucky to have you, I take it?"
"We were lucky to have each other. But an argument can be made in Steve's favor 'cause he always made me look good. Not even because he was small or whatever, but because he was always puttin' me in situations where I'd act like a hero. Ya know, savin' his ass in the back of an alley or somethin'."
He seemed to get more comfortable as he talked about things that made him happy. Familiarity and goodness opened him up like a blooming flower. (Y/N) wasn't sure how to describe the sight, but the word that came to mind was golden.
"Sounds like you guys had a lot of fun."
"Yeah..." Bucky trailed off with a smile, thoughts tinted by memories of the past. Memories of an easier time.
"Oh, I've been meaning to ask. What did you think of all the exams we did with Shuri? How was it for you?"
"There's so much... stuff, and I have no idea what any of it is or does. I mean, it's been fine so far, but I can't help feeling constantly... confused. And unaware."
"Is that uncomfortable? Being unaware?"
"Well it's not a pleasure, that's for sure," Bucky said with a slight chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck.
He seemed nervous.
"Does this place make you nervous, Bucky?"
"Nervous? I don't know if I'd say nervous, but it is a lot to take in."
"That is true. Is that why you looked around the room for exits when you first came in? And why you're sitting facing the door instead of having your back to it?"
Bucky straightened his back.
"Didn't realize you caught that," he shrugged. "Just a habit."
And the flower began to wilt.
"Do you do that in rooms that you feel comfortable in?"
"I-uh... I'm not sure."
"That's alright. It's called hyper-vigilance. You're on high alert at all times. It's a common symptom in PTSD."
"In what?"
Bucky began to wipe his hands on his knees.
"PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but we can get into all that in a later session."
"Do I... do I have that?"
"I think so," she answered calmly and surely, "but I'd wait 'til I got to know you before I formally made that diagnosis."
He glanced at the clock. A few dense moments of silence pass.
"Bucky?"
He cleared his throat. "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
The blue in his eyes looked like ice. They were frozen. Most people think that in stressful situations the body activates the fight or flight response, but there aren't only two options. There's fight, flight, and there's freeze. Bucky was freezing.
The irony, (Y/N) thought.
He snapped out of whatever trance he was in and stood up abruptly. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just-"
His head shot to the door and he wrung out his hands as his feet shifted in place. Mind undoubtedly going haywire trying to decide what to do.
"I think I need to go," Bucky said so fast he didn't realize he even said it.
He made a beeline for the door, restlessness all but pouring out of him.
"Buck-"
She couldn't get through the rest of his name before the door had open and shut, leaving her sitting alone on the couch.
Now she could check off freeze and flight...
-
PLS feel free to leave some feedback/constructive criticism, i’d really like to know what i can do to make this story better!
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calumcest · 5 years ago
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first of all it's so nice to see that you're back & i hope you're feeling better? :) i really get that your friend wanted to leave, hamburg is just the worst and dresden is really such a beautiful city i understand your love for it well :) do you have any plans about going back to dresden? & berlin too since you said you want to? (i'm gonna assume corona kind of cancelled any eventual plans but still) & may i ask where in england you live? i love england/the uk a lot so i was wondering 🙈 (pt1)
(pt3) for example i personally love hearing about good parts of the east bc it's always shown like hell on earth when it wasn't all bad really? and i don't think i ever noticed anything about our landscape but that might just be bc i didn't pay attention 😅 is there sth specific that stuck out to you? and off the top of my head the first difference that comes to my mind is how there is still a pay gap between east and west which is mindblowing to me, and then the general behaviour?
(pt4) like my english teacher was from baden-württemberg and he had really big problems adjusting to our general tone? like apparently people in the west are more open and easier to approach which i found really fascinating. and i mean we are pretty divided by language though that's not exactly a west/east conflict i mean sachsen and berlin have such different dialects too. oh & i meant west germany until 90 - that just feels like the history of a different country to me.
(pt5) & i definitely associate myself more w berlin than with germany which also feels so weird? oh that's so niice!! i love these pics :) i was so afraid you'd say that 😅 it's always been pfannkuchen to me, berliner just sounds fucking wrong (i do get your points about it i just can't accept it bc it feels so so wrong) i don't have a strong opinion about nutella tbh except for it's clearly not der nutella. you're so right about that. like it literally makes me cringe to hear 'der nutella'.
(pt6) that's so valid articles cause a lot of distress since they just don't make sense sometimes. and if you're infiltrating duden already please remove kaktusse as a plural of kaktus i would really appreciate it bc the fact that they put that in literally makes me want to claw my skin off. hope you can find it for free! and you should definitely rewatch hsm! i did that at the beginning of lockdown and it was amazing
(pt7) ooh that sounds amazing!! and so funny just from the description i can't wait for more holyverse :) also quickly wanted to mention that thanks to all your atl promo i'm now listening to nothing but them 😂 -spoiler twin 
thank you!! i am feeling a little better gradually getting there taking a big ol social media break really helped! also yes i’m DESPERATE to move back to dresden the issue is i dont know wtf i’d be able to do there? because of the way the education system is set up in germany like i studied (man had to change that to past tense cant believe i’m DONE) history and german here and in germany that would be part of lehramt but here its like? i can just do what i like? (w further qualifications) i can go and become a lawyer, i can work in government, i can literally do anything and in germany its so restricted that i dont know whether i could actually go over unless i’d already established myself in a career path? so i don’t know :( i really really want to move back but i’ll have to find a career that lets me do that first! and if i do move back (which i pray i can) i think i’ll probably live in dresden first because i miss it so much but i’ve always wanted to live in berlin since i was a teenager and fell in love w it the first time i visited so i would love to live there at some point too but dresden is my priority i’m just so besotted sjdfnjsdf also i live in london! best place on the planet not that i’m biased or antyhing 
omg honestly i MISS kika might just fuck around and watch sending mit der maus tomorrow for fun i wonder if christoph is still there he was my childhood icon sjkdnfksjdf also me too!! i find it so interesting on like a day to day level? like obviously there was the overarching political regime but i’m more interested in how that affected the everyday lives of citizens of both states? my masters thesis is (hopefully) gonna be about how hiv/aids was constructed in the public sphere through language in the east and west i.e. how the government, intellectuals, media, church etc used language to create an idea of hiv/aids and people with hiv/aids its kind of building on my bachelorarbeit but its super interesting to me! 
omg literally same i find it so reductive when people are like ossi bad haha like? yeah lets not act like hohenschönhausen was a cushy hotel but there was much more stability in some areas e.g. housing/jobs? honestly i think the attitudes towards foreigners and the right wing sympathy was the main thing that stood out to me but that was probably just dresden/saxony LMAO 
that’s so interesting? i didn’t know that! honestly all of you lot scare me because the stereotype about how direct the germans are is like...so true especially as a brit i cannot lie to you my FIRST day at work i was in a meeting and they were discussing ideas about how to teach a particular lesson and one teacher put forward an idea and another teacher straight up went ‘no that’s a bad idea that won’t work. we should think about something else’ i was literally like ?!?!??!?! thinking a fight was about to break out cos in the uk if someone offers an idea and someone thinks its bad theyll be like ‘thats an interesting idea! maybe we can incorporate some elements of that’ which means its shit dont mention it again and i went home and i told my mum (shes my german parent) and she said when she first came to the uk her boss came out to his secretary and said would you mind doing this? and she went home to my dad and was like WOW my boss is so polite he said ‘would you mind’ and my dad was like babes...that means ‘do this or else’ LMAO like we just have such different communication styles? also it was the first place that i’ve ever been met with confusion when someone bumps into me or steps on my foot and i apologise like in the uk thats just a given but people would bump into me and i’d be like schuldigung and they’d be like why are you sorry i bumped into you not the other way round? 
that’s interesting! would you call yourself a berliner before calling yourself a german or vice versa? i assume it would depend on who you’re talking to as well like to a foreigner maybe more likely to just say german? although everyone knows where berlin is
omg NO pfannkuchen is a prper pancake but i will accept it because you are from berlin so you have authority i genuinely never heard pfannkuchen mean anything other than what dresdeners call eierkuchen until i was in dresden THAT was a nasty surprise because i dont actually like berliner so i just had to politely eat this berliner when i was expecting crepes :’( 
oh god please the first thing i’md oing when i infiltrate duden is getting rid of cases and genders if english can make do without then so can german we do not need any of that nonsense i dont care whether its dative or accusative TERRIBLE whoever invented the german language should be fired also i’m FASCINATED that thats what you dont like what would you like the plural to be kakti? kakten? kaktüsse? i’m very intersted in this 
I’M LIVING!!!!! alex gaskarth give me a commission for this free promo please god i love atl i need to relisten i went on a binge a few weeks ago and havent really listened to much recently besides vegas for some reason 
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You have to watch the video in the end.
Look everyone's story is different. And I understand his.
But I want to explain something. Carpenters and Construction workers rule the world.
They're as important as a McDonald's Happy Meal.
I want to explain something else. Sometimes people don't dream of going to Harvard, they're forced to. Sometimes people at Harvard -- I got into Harvard and I got into Yale Law. I chose not to go to either. -- sometimes people at Harvard just want to work with their hands.
I got Into Harvard. And I got into Yale Law.
I went to the University of New Mexico after a dabble at Oklahoma State, TVI - now CNM.
After a long time.. High school, being accepted into Ivey League schools, marriage, divorce, a 7 year old, 6 colleges/universities, trying to decide on something other than a Speech Pathologist because i believe you can learn a child's dialect and they don't speak wrong but different -- I gave myself a stern taking to.
I wanted to be an Architect.
To be an Architect my most important people are Carpenters, Construction workers, electricians, plumbers. And more.
I would need carpenters for sure because I love Gothic, Roman, Greek, Colonial style homes/buildings.
Well I never made it as an Architect my local universities didn't offer it at a bachelor's level and I failed out via running out of money for Speech Pathology.
And it was fucking hard.
But I want to tell you something. Look at his post here you'll see him on scaffolding. In NYC there's scaffolding every where. One of my favorite things on a hot day was sit under there and listen to them work.
We did so much underground work, freeing slaves.
One day I just couldn't handle it anymore. And I sat under scaffolding and I leaned my back against the wall and I pulled my knees up to my face and began to very loudly cry. It was one of the loudest places in the city. I thought no one could hear me.
Then I felt someone touch me. And ask if I was Ok. I wondered how long I had been crying because it was silent and I thought all the workers went home.
So I wiped my face in my shirt and I nodded "mmm I'm ok. Sorry. It was just so loud I thought no one could hear"
"Well we all did"
And I looked up and half the construction crew was standing looking worried.
And it made me bust into tears again. And they asked if i had been beaten or raped or needed the police or any random thing.
And i said "no. I'm just a recent widow and my child died right after child birth and i return kidnapped victims and my job is just hard let me put it that way"
So he gave me a bottle of water and asked if i needed money and told me safe places to go where nice people worked that were nice to the homeless.
So one day the noise of the hammers... The rhythm... I just decided. Not going to work was better for me. I was just gonna do something nice for nice people ... May be for a day or two..
So i would go to Macy's and buy shirts and boots and extra personal supplies for the construction workers, the people they told me about that were kind to the homeless and giving.
After a week the CIA asked what i was doing and when i would return to work. I said they could do it and i didn't want to.
They told me i wasn't acting healthy. I needed yo be underground feeling desperate and worried that i couldn't get people home to their families when my family was killed in front of me.
I couldn't. "Well quit buying stuff"
"Fine I'll buy less"
"Quit going to Macy's. What's wrong with the Bodega?"
"Oh sure where i shopped with my dead husband? No people need quality and quality is what they deserve! They work and they can afford their own clothes but they don't because it's too expensive for rent!! They can't afford clothes that don't rip or get holes in them every two weeks!!" I was yelling but i was mad. I wasn't letting people suffer and i wasn't letting myself suffer. No one had the right to tell me i was wrong. "Lower their rent so they have more than a few hundred bucks!! Look at them# bologna sandwiches that was all! They had no money to even eat! What am i doing wrong?! Good quality! Leave me be!!"
We always had long talks about quality. Because sometimes we found good at Bargain Basement and sometimes we didn't. So i knew Blue would approve.
"Yeah well you'll get fired"
"You wanna fire me?! Go ahead! And then when i want to go back to work you're not going to stop me! You'll thank me! So shove it!"
"You're causing a scene"
"No you are!!"
"You sit here for hours under the scaffolding that could fall on you and kill yoh while playing solitare in cards by yourself! You're not even Tarot. You could be making money on the street helping us but you aren't"
"That lady is a bitch. That lady ain't. That lady is sweet as the devil and that man is married to a cunt!!!! There are you happy now? Leave me be?" I was already exhausted and all the construction workers were down waiting for an explanation and to protect me.
They weren't very happy to find out I worked for the CIA. I guess they felt betrayed. I said "i help victims that get trapped under ground"
And so they thought like They fell into a pit of mud or something and needed help. Which is understandable.
I couldn't explain how i could feel abandoning those girls was my right. How i needed to. How helping them was destroying me. It was not explainable.
I didn't want to be encouraged to go back. I didn't want to be told i was wrong because it hurt my heart. I So damaged.
And I didn't want to volcano in anger. Not at anyone that didn't deserve it.
So I explained then... "*if someone is kidnapped and stuck or put under ground for human trafficking then they can't get out -- not on their own. They need me or the CIA and the CIA can cover for me while I am recovering to a better emotional state"
And one said "but you'll be fired"
"Well i run the CIA so i doubt that and i do check in with them every day down the street at least twice. That is why i was later today there was an issue with ome of the clubs and i had to sort it out. I just can't see the girls and work Like i used to. Promise to take them home. Make sure they see their families when my own was murdered in front of my face. Its just not something i can do"
They asked me for $500 and went to Macy's and in my place where i always sat and did solitare was a white paper Macy's bag. And it said "for the CIA GIRL named Sabrina"
And inside was a leopard fur coat. Of which they had got $250 from the CIA guy attempting to chew out my ass. And luckily it had been marked down. $657.32.
"Don't worry it was half off. And we split the leftover remaining for food. I hope you don't mind" i heard behind me.
I was crying so much I had snot bubbles.
So carpenters... They're like Gods. I've always looked up yo construction workers since that day.
Janitors at the elementary schools i attended they were always my heroes. If i didn't clean. I got beat. I tried to clean the whole cafeteria. Until I was told not to. I didn't have to. And ever since then it's been hard to just let them do their jobs and not help them.
They have been my heroes for s very long time. And not because I'm a germaphobe. Because they took pride in their work
Because like this man in this post always felt inferior. Bullied and picked on even.
Sometimes i would watch a janitor pick up trash next to the can a kid wouldn't pick up because he missed. And I would start crying and mess my make up up. And every one would ask me what was wrong. And i would bust into tears again "because the janitor had to clean!!".
I'm not talking just elementary school. I'm talking Jr high. I'm talking high school. Im talking i would skip school and smoke pot, smoke behind the principal's office or art building kinda old. And i would bust into tears because a janitors bad luck.
Ridiculous old. I would beat up bigger than me boys in school. Even beat the principal once for whipping my little brother. They still did paddling if there was a permission slip. My brothers wasn't signed. Mine and Nathaniel's had been and both said no paddling. So they called it even and let it go.
But i still cried cause the janitor who took pride in his work was bossed around like a bitch by the principal and the principal happened to be white and the janitor black.
So i stopped that shit by shoving the principal in his office and standing in front of it until he promised not to talk to the janitor. Every time he did with disrespect there i went. He took off running down the hall. Scared. Oh that pissed me off. Coward ass.
I used to work st Mazzios in Okmulgee. They used to go in after 8pm on Friday. I always waited on him and his wife cause Jamie always wanted a break to do dishes then. And we needed to. It was a mess by then. Dishes would be sliding off the counter And shit.
He never tipped. I asked his wife once why. She said "ask him" while laughing.
"Well? She's directed me to ask you. Seems your wife is in command here"
"Well I would tip if I had a waitress that didn't give me a black eye!"
"Well served, keep your dollar"
"Well next time I'm gonna pay $3!!"
So I told Jamie, "I don't mind doing dishes and it will save your nails I don't do mine. This guy here is the Principal at Preston and said he will pay to tip any waitress but me 3 whole dollars"
"Do the dishes"
She went over "I'm sorry was there a problem with your server?"
"She gave me a black eye!!!" What a dunce.
"Well I'll make sure she works extra hard on the dishes while I'll be the waitress to only you unless someone comes in since she's dangerous and can't come from behind the counter"
He looked over the back of his red booth and grinned. I grinned back.
Then he looked troubled "don't forget the tip" I sang back in a nasty I'll punch you in the face again tone. And kicked and threw all the chairs into the tables if they weren't pushed in on my walk back.
She got $5.
Oh it was definitely a joke around the restaurant. Friday nights after 8 weren't boring anymore.
His wife loved it. She was so tired of his shit. She knew we worked every Friday night and he was so dumb we could work him over on anything m
... ...
So in NYC. Scaffolding takes over the city sidewalks. Sometimes we have to walk in the street to pass. Or cross the street then cross back.because concrete barriers.
So in NYC the scaffolding is the rulers of the sidewalk. Put there by workers like the man who feels inferior to Harvard students.
They are in command.
.....
I loved sitting under the scaffolding and hearing the hammers. The men above. Working for money. The men above free. Free in the sky. Free from the streets. As far as they could safely be from the underground.
They were like the bird Phoneix to me.
I couldn't see them but i could hear them. Banging and whistling to a song on the radio or in their head.
Up there they were free. Free to build and create. What they were doing would last for years. Decades.
What they were doing would be seen by all of New York City. Its visitors. Its home personnel. Its bodegas. The kidnapped. Every one.
The CIA was afraid i would be lonlier when they moved on. But i knew they were working. I could hear it. And one day the scaffolding I found safe Haven under would be missing.
And i would see the Grand Prize. Their work completed.
I could never finish a bunker they would always refill. I needed a Happy Ending. I needed Green Grass Roots on the side of the building the whole street they touched the lives of could see.
When they finished i took the girls. "You see that up there? The blue and green? That wasn't there before. My friends did that. I want you to know every thing you touch and every thing you see leaves a definition. Some may be wrong and some may be right. But my friends did that and saved me from my misery. And right now want to hug that building"
And we did.
So to this man in this post and all people that work and feel inferior...
Specifically to this man -- each and every student st Harvard looked at you the same way you looked st them "i can be something one day. I can be someone as important as him. I can help build a wall to stay up for years to come so students like me can keep coming to Harvard. If he can do it. And work in Harvard. I can at least graduate"
So never belittle yourself. You are important. You are worth more than money. You change the world every day.
You remember that. People we don't always say it.
But we think it. We find inspiration every where.
A girl screaming in the driveway. A dude feeling lost because all the world was shut down in a joke like but meaningful song video. My worries about people working too hard and not being home or happy.
Regular people others would think as trash. Or overlook as a fun silly video of the times.
P Diddy tripping as well as many others.
You all changed the world.
And you did it better than the President of the United States of America.
We The People.
Need our "lower class" financed people and our "lower classed: educated.
My cousin only finished 5th grade. You never could tell by looking at her. I never remember. I never think about it. Until she mentions it. And it SHOCKS me. It shocks the shit out of me. Because I didn't think about it and i couldn't tell. I look up to her and admire her.
So while I am PROUD this man made his dreams come true in secret -- why? -- because they were his dreams and his dreams alone and he didn't want no one meddling in his dreams -- I want to tell all of you.
You are not inferior because of your race or employment. Your pay grade or gender.
Here if you can pass a test or quiz or do a quick something every one gets $5.
Because you're all equal.
Love yourselves
And this man in the post is amazing i want to say again. Idk how old he is. He looks young. But he applied himself and focused and he tried. And he succeeded.
We're gonna be ok world. Its just gonna take some time
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