#“look at me.” and the way alex's head immediately shoots up & whips around or the way aleksa studies alex's face so closely.......

[rpfisfine]

they played an actual guessing game to try & tell if the other has masturbated and ended up confessing to having sex with each other

[water-loos]

Bad Idea, Right ?

“I know we’re done, I know we’re through, but, God, when I look at you…”

player!mean!steve harrington x fem!reader

series masterlist ; next chapter

cw: college au, MILD EMETOPHOBIA WARNING (mentions of gagging/pretending to vomit), vulgar language smut (p in v, creampie, unprotected sex), hate sex, arguing

wc: 5k

a/n: guys please be nice this is my first time writing full on smut

It was easy to change the code for your apartment building. It was easier to sit closer to the front of the class and start participating more as sort of a Steve repellent. Even deleting his number was a piece of cake after a couple of weeks.

What wasn’t easy, was going out.

Despite it being summer when all of the college kids normally went home to their hometowns, your group of friends that lived in your building chose to move to the city permanently and stay for the summer, all in the name of partying and being drunk in public. It had seemed fun at first, and you had been excited at one point.

Then, your friend Eddie said something in a casual conversation that ruined your entire summer.

“Yeah, by the way, Steve’s still holed up at his place. His roommate works 24/7 and doesn’t really do much, so he’s kind of been stuck. I think we should invite him to come out with us tomorrow,” He had suggested innocently, the situation between the two of you was kept so well under wraps that everyone but Alexandra had been kept in the dark. “What d’ya think?”

Well, Alexandra and her girlfriend, Robin. Who was Steve’s best friend. And had apparently been giving him hell about the way he treated you.

Eddie still sat beside you on the couch, sweet and clueless. You gulped before answering. “That’s fine. The more the merrier, right?”

“See! That’s what I told him, but he was all like “Well I don’t know you’d have to ask, you can’t just invite me to someone else’s plans”, which I think is a stupid mindset,” He gave a dramatic and frankly spot-on impression of Steve that almost made you laugh. “I’ll just tell him he should come.”

“Did you tell him who’s coming? Or just that it’s mystery plans?” Robin chirped in from the kitchen, shooting you a knowing look from over the back of Eddie’s head. “You know how he is with knowing everyone who’s at a function.”

“I did not, actually,” Eddie realized and whipped out his phone, flipping it open and clicking through his contacts to find his message thread with Steve. “I’ll text him right now. I don’t think he’s doing anything.”

You watched the screen diligently from where you were sitting, pixelated text bubbles popping up.

—

i just talked to everybody and they said you’re good to come out with us saturday

Who’s going?

rob, alex, nance, sean, jared, and alex’s roommate

—

You bit your thumbnail as you watched a typing bubble pop up, disappear, and then reappear for the next minute.

“He’s taking forever.”

“He always takes forever!” Robin called from the kitchen as Alex walked out from her room.

“What’s all the shouting for?” She grumbled, clinging onto Robin.

“I’m trying to get Steve to tell me if he’s coming out with us on Saturday,” Eddie explains and sends a few question marks in the message thread. “He keeps typing, and stopping, and typing again.”

Alex whips around and shoots you a wide-eyed glance. Eddie’s too enthralled in his phone to see you shoot one back.

—

I just realized I have a work thing that night.

Sorry.

—

“He says he has a work thing. He’s no fun,” Eddie sighs, shuts his phone, and tosses it onto the coffee table.

Your stomach churns and guilt fills your veins. When you cut Steve off, you didn’t want it to stop him from hanging out with everyone else. You’d rather not go and let him have fun instead.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket, indicating you had received a text. Your blood ran cold at the possibility that Steve could be the one texting you, and you immediately handed Eddie the remote that was in your lap in favor of scrambling to open your messages.

You couldn’t help but deflate a little when you saw it was just Robin, asking you if you were alright.

—

u ok?

yeah, i’m fine rob, but can you do me a favor?

sure

what’s up

can you text steve and ask him if he’d consider going out with you guys if i don’t go

what

no i’m not doing that

u don’t have to do that

he’ll be fine

can you just do it? please? i don’t even want to go that badly

i’ll buy you food

please?

fine

but i don’t think U should have to not go out with UR friends bc he’s uncomfy

—

You clicked your phone closed and settled into your seat on the couch, trying to focus on whatever horror movie Eddie had put on. Your phone buzzed not even five minutes after you had closed it, prompting you to open it again.

This time, it was an unknown number.

Your heart just about stopped.

—

Why do you want me to go out with everyone on Saturday so badly?

because i feel bad for being the reason you won’t go

so i’ll not go so you can, eddie really wants you to go

What if I just don’t want to go at all?

i want to make my friends happy, steve

robin and eddie and alex love you, and everyone else will love you

i want them to have a good time and they will if you go

please just go, for their sake

I have a better idea.

Don’t go out with them, and come here.

—

You pause and consider it. It couldn’t be that bad if you did go over. You could bring the six-pack that was in the back of your fridge that you hadn’t had the heart to toss yet, and you two could watch a movie like before. As much as it was easy to separate yourself from him, from everything, you still laid in bed and cried almost every night because your comforter still held the smell of his cologne no matter how many times you washed it. You still had one of his zip-ups, and you kept it right on your bedside table. The Altoids tin with his last cigarette still rattled in your purse.

Your phone buzzed twice in your hand.

—

DONT DO IT. DO NOT. ISWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

don’t listen to him

—

You lifted your head to see Robin and Alex standing behind you, glaring. Alex made a motion of slicing her neck.

That was enough to make you snap your phone closed and go back to pretending to watch the movie.

But it couldn’t be that bad.

Right?

———————

Saturday rolled around, and you had pulled out all of the stops. You blew out your hair, shaved your entire body, and even picked out your favorite pair of jeans that hugged your body just right.

Everything was perfect.

Your friends stood in your apartment, bottles of liquor covered your island, and music was bumping. It was a good pregame, and the energy was high.

“Alright! Let’s get this show on the road people!” Eddie cheered, a shooter between his pointer finger and thumb. “One last shot and then we leave.”

Jared, who had been standing ahead of where you sat on the couch, turned to help you up. The smile that was on his lips faded quickly, and his face fell into a concerned expression in the blink of an eye. “Are you good?”

Step one was complete.

You shook your head slowly and opened your eyes, trying to look as helpless as you could. “I’m really dizzy. I don’t think I should have smoked that cigarette.”

“Oh, shit, Alex?” Jared turned and called for your roommate, who rushed over quickly. The chains that hung from her shorts jingled as she rounded the couch and bent before you. “I think they’re gonna be sick.”

“Babe, I told you not to smoke with Eddie,” She tutted, lips between her teeth.

Before she could say anything else, you jumped up from the couch and rushed to the bathroom with your hand over your mouth, slamming the door behind you.

Step two.

You sat down on the floor next to the toilet and pretended to gag, doing your best to have the sounds you were making reverberate and sound realistic.

You kept it up for a couple of minutes before groaning loudly and flushing, which Alex took as an okay to knock on the door.

“You okay?”

“No. Just go without me.”

“Are you sure? We can just do a night in—“

“It’s fine, Alex,” You croaked. “I’ll be fine. You guys go out and tell me all about it tomorrow. I just want to chill out for a while.”

“Okay, babe. Call me if you need anything,” She agreed quicker than you thought she would, and you could hear her walk away from the door.

Step three.

You waited the ten minutes it took for everyone to get out the door, listening diligently for the faint sounds of their overly loud drunken voices to disappear. You left the bathroom as soon as you heard the door close, and you watched from the crack in your curtains as they pranced down the street and around the corner.

That’s when you grabbed your bag, Steve’s zip-up, his six-pack of beer, sprayed one last drop of perfume and left your apartment.

———————

One tumultuous twenty-minute drive later, you stood in front of his apartment, tossing your hair with your free hand as you debated on knocking.

This was such a bad idea.

But it was fine because you were just returning the last of his things. You were going to give him his things and maybe one more piece of your mind, and then you’d leave and cry in bed. It was a foolproof plan.

So you decide to knock, two raps of the knocker. You adjusted your posture one more time and crossed your arms. It would be fine. It’s a quick trip.

Step four.

Then, the door opened. Steve Harrington stood there, smiling at you with a look that could send someone to their knees. His shoulder leaned against the doorframe, and he matched your posture. It made your heart ache.

“There you are, pretty,” He quipped, letting his eyes drag slowly over your frame. You hadn’t changed, and the strong A/C that escaped the open door rose goosebumps over the sliver of stomach that showed above your jeans and the swell of your tits that was exposed over your favorite going-out top. “Almost thought you wouldn’t come.”

You tried your best to roll your eyes and pushed past him into his apartment, arms still crossed. “I’m just here to drop off your shit. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“You dressed up just to bring over my things?” He shut the door behind you and followed you into the kitchen, where you set down all of his stuff. “Sure.”

“Did it ever occur to you that I might have plans after this? I don’t sit alone in my apartment like you do.”

“Oh, is that why Eddie called me?” He rounded the counter to stand in front of you, hands bracing either side of the counter outside of your hips. “Rambling about how I should ditch the work thing and come party because his favorite friend got sick after one cigarette?”

Shit.

He stepped closer once he saw your expression drop, one of his knees wedging between yours.

“I think we both know why you’re here, sweetheart.”

“You’re the one who texted me. Don’t act like this is my idea,” You said, voice wavering so slightly that you weren’t sure that he’d catch on.

“Oh, baby,” He tutted, reaching up to tuck your hair behind your ear and letting his hand trail down your neck. “I’m just feeling like the luckiest guy in the world, getting to be the one you get all prettied up for.”

You folded the second he pulled you closer, connecting your lips. It was like you were putty in his hands, and you were molded just for him. His hand almost gripped the back of your neck as your hands landed on the sides of his waist, anchoring him to you. The kiss was hot and hard like you were taking your first drink of water after walking through a desert. his other hand was quick to grasp your ass, pulling on it slightly as he groaned into the kiss.

“Wearing my favorite goddamn jeans,” He murmured into your lips, letting his hand smack your left ass cheek a little bit. “Just f’me.”

“Not for you,” You grumbled back but grabbed the front of his shirt and let your leg hook around his hip as he pressed you into the edge of the island. “Never for you.”

He chuckled and took one quick movement to set you atop the counter, letting you look down at him as his hands smoothed up your thighs. “I don’t think telling yourself that makes it any more true.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Aren’t you going to do that for me?”

You knocked his hip with your leg moderately hard, catching his attention. “I’ll walk out right now. This is the last time I’m ever dealing with your shit. I’m serious.”

He just blinked at you, eyes glazed over. But not with a realization that this was the end of you two. That’d be too easy.

That stupid smirk that haunted your dreams popped up on his lips seconds later.

“You’re so fucking hot when you hate me.”

He let his hand slip into the crease of your hips and thighs and all but smashed his lips into yours, groaning a little when your hands reached up to tug at his grown-out strands of hair. He was quick to pull you closer then, your legs wrapping around his hips as he leaned you across the counter. His lips started a burning and sloppy descent down your neck, his hands greedily grabbing at what he could of your ass. He nudged you further and further off the counter as you pulled him closer with both of your legs, and he was practically holding you soundly around his waist.

“You’re not fucking me on top of a counter, Harrington,” You breathed, a little less weight behind your words. “My back still hurts from your stupid car.”

“She’s not stupid,” He huffs against your neck and steps away from the counter, hosting you higher on his hips. “But have it your way.”

You scoff as he references his car as a ‘she’, but the annoyance doesn’t last long as he quickly turns the corner after the kitchen, goes into the first door on the right, and all but tosses you onto his bed. It’s huge and the comforter almost puffs out around you as he closes the door and locks it quietly. He wheeled around at light speed after that, as you positioned yourself, knees up and posed, the chunky heels of your boots digging into his navy sheets. You pulled in your shoulders and pushed out your chest, arms locked behind you.

The second you cocked your head at him, he froze, and you swore that he short-circuited.

“You just going to stand there and gawk at me?” You raised an eyebrow and watched his cheeks grow pink in the dim light of his bedside lamp. “Commit me to memory while you can.”

He was quick to step forward then, a surprisingly gentle hand reaching for your ankle. You watched silently as he slowly pulled down the zipper of one boot, slid it off, and placed it quietly on the shag rug beside the bed. He did the same for the other boot before kissing up the length of your calf and knee over your jeans, alternating legs. You let your arms drop to your elbows, entranced as he lowered your knees and made his way up your thighs, surprisingly tender as he almost worshipped your legs. The nature of it all made your chest tight, those feelings you swore to keep at bay swelling to the surface.

Once he reached your navel, he didn’t waste time letting his fingers grasp the edge of your top, pushing it up as he pressed gentle pecks all over the expanse of your stomach. His head didn’t rise as you carefully lifted your shirt over your head and let it drop to the floor. His pace quickened then as his kisses turned to love bites, his teeth sharp and his lips soothing. Your breath hitched as his hand skirted around your back and unclipped your bra with nimble fingers. He pushed the straps down your shoulders as you slipped them off one by one, the lace material dropping beside your top.

He left larger hickeys on the swell of your breasts and sternum as he trailed back down, fingers already popping the button of your jeans and skirting along the seam between your legs. You preened in response and lifted your hips, urging him to push the tight jeans over your plush hips already. This needed to be quick before the facade you’d built in the last twenty-four hours started to crack.

“Please.”

You whispered the word so softly that you almost didn’t know if he’d hear it, but it was like a switch flipped the second it left your lips. Your jeans were flying off your legs, white lace panties dragged with them. You were next, his hands moving to your calves and pulling you toward the edge of the bed, your legs dangling off the edge. The boy did nothing but drag a hand down the side of your now naked frame, smirk, and slowly lower to his knees between your legs. The sight alone made your core gush, clenching around air.

You were quick to scramble to your elbows, watching him retrace his earlier steps across the expanse of your legs, leaving tender kisses and gentle nips across your skin as he inched closer and closer to the apex of your thighs. He slowed even more, then, simply looking at your cunt, unmoving.

“Stop teasing me,” You huffed, leaning your head back for a moment. “You’ve seen me a million goddamn times.”

“You said to commit you to memory,” He replied nonchalantly. A finger came out of nowhere and circled your clit as he rested his head on the plush of your thigh. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

You whined softly, heartbeat quickening. “Do it faster, then.”

“You that eager to get in and out of here?” He scoffed, adjusting so that his thumb kept a slow, torturous pace on your clit, while the middle finger of his other hand began to circle your entrance, teasing delicately. You whined in response, more pissed off than anything.

“What do you think?” You huffed, attempting to shift your hips closer to him and urge his finger inside of you, but Steve simply moved his arm to bracket across your hips and hold you in place. “I didn’t come here to spend the night. Now, could you please just fucking touch me?”

You saw a flash of something in his eyes, something you’d never seen before, before his mouth was on you. His arms moved to loop around your thighs as he buried himself in your pussy, tongue running figure eights from your clit to your weeping entrance so harshly that you almost shouted. You moaned softly over and over as he almost ravished you, lewd wet noises ringing through his echoey bedroom. You had almost forgotten how good he was in bed, and how he was obsessed with eating you out. It was always his favorite part of your nightly routine. It might be yours too.

Your heart ached the second you thought about how you had missed him, and you squeezed your eyes shut to wave those thoughts away. You tried to focus on the pleasure building up as an orgasm crept up on you, your moans turning into soft gasps.

“Fuck,” Your elbows ached behind you as you let yourself fall back onto the bed, hands twisting into the sheets below you. His arms kept your hips locked in place as you tried to squirm and give yourself a little more friction against his tongue. His pace had turned slow, but not any less passionate as he took his sweet time switching between sucking on your clit and dipping his tongue around and into your entrance. “Don’t stop, if you stop I’ll lose my shit—“

All of a sudden, two fingers were slipping into you and curling against your g-spot, making you squeak and writhe in place as the feeling of your orgasm slammed your senses. Your breathing turned erratic as he lapped up your cum and helped you ride out the high, your head elbows falling out from underneath you.

“That’s one way to get you to shut up,” He snorted, standing from his kneeling position. His hair wasn’t as wild as it normally was after he spent time between your thighs— the sight of him looking like he’d got ready two minutes ago made your heart ache. But, you were somehow glad you managed to keep your hands off of him. It meant you still had your self-control.

“You’re such a dick,” You scoff, chest heaving as you pushed yourself up onto your hands. You watched his eyes follow the way your tits jiggled as you did so, and rolled yours. “You planning on fucking me, or are we done here? I could still make it to the bar if I catch a cab.”

His face stayed stagnant and slightly flushed, but his eyes managed to widen ever so slightly. “You weren’t kidding.”

Jackpot.

“What made you think I was kidding?” You laughed slightly, even though you felt sick. You sat up fully then, closing your legs and crossing your arms with as much confidence as you could muster. “Look, Steve. I came here for two things: to drop off the last of your stuff, and to get off. It’s not that deep. If you want to jack off on your own time that’s perfectly—“

He was flinging his shirt off and rushing to unbuckle his belt in the middle of your sentence, and was on top of you before you could say “Fine”. He pushed your back onto the bed and his lips latched onto yours in a bruising kiss, one hand manhandling your chin as the other held him up beside your head. His hips pressed your legs apart once more, the rough fabric of his jeans giving your still-sensitive clit some much-needed friction as he rocked with the kiss.

“You think I’m going to choose not to fuck you when you’re sitting right in front of me?” He mumbled against your lips and rocked his hips again. “With a pussy like yours? Not a fucking chance.”

Your hand slipped down to palm over his bulge and gripped him through his pants suddenly, a small gasp falling from his lips as he pulled away from the kiss. “I liked this so much better when you didn’t open your fucking mouth.”

Before he could bite back, your deft fingers made quick work of popping the button of his jeans, then pulling down the zipper in record time. His other arm came down beside your head to hold him up as he watched you between your bodies, your ring-clad fingers pushing his jeans and boxers down enough for his dick to spring free. You tried your best to not openly moan at the familiar sight of him after so long and gave him a couple strokes as your other hand continued to push his jeans and boxers down further.

“You still on the pill?” He huffed, pupils blown wide as he looked up at you. That confident man that had just made you cum in two minutes flat was long gone, and you were left with a puddle of a boy, ready to do whatever you asked. “Please say yes. Need to feel you.”

You gulped at the sight and continued to feed into this confident facade you were putting on. “I have no reason to not be on it.”

He blinked, his eyes flashing with that emotion you couldn’t place again before he kissed you deeply once more. You took the opportunity to shift your hips and guide his tip toward your entrance, tapping his side to signal he could push in. He did so as slowly as possible, his cheeks pink as he pulled away and looked between your bodies, watching you stretch around his length. “Fuck. I’ve missed this.”

Your throat grew tight as he bottomed out, your hands landing on the bed, just outside of where he braced himself on his forearms. You adjusted quickly to his size, which you had forgotten about, but then, all of those emotions you had been trying to desperately push aside started to arise. Your eyes pricked with tears, and you tried your best to close your eyes and pretend you weren’t about to cry during this.

“Move, please,” You whispered, trying your best to keep your voice even. “C’mon, Steve. Do what you do best.”

He didn’t react to the jab and rolled his hips, barely pulling out. Just how you liked him— grinding inside of you like you were one. It made your tears come on faster, your eyes squeezed shut as you willed yourself to get it together. Your moans grew watery and quiet, your throat thick with emotion as he rutted into you, his hair finally flopping down toward your face. He stayed like that for a brief moment before reaching for your legs and urging them higher on his hips, giving him more space to pull out and ram back into you.

The pleasure you were feeling was almost blinding, but no matter how much you willed yourself not to let your tears fall, you could feel droplets leaking from the outer corners of your eyes with every harsh thrush and whine that fell from your lips. Your chest hurt with your feelings as you felt another orgasm rapidly approaching, your fingers twisting again in Steve’s bedsheets once more.

Then he stopped. He stopped at the end of a particularly hard thrust, his tip pressing against your g-spot, making you squirm and finally open your eyes to look at him in surprise.

“Are you crying? What’s wrong?” His voice was soft, eyes searching your face with concern. “D’you need me to stop?”

“I’m fine, keep going,” You huffed, squeezing your eyes shut again. “Don’t worry about me, just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Am I hurting you? What’s going on—“

“Please, god, just keep going, Steve!” You exclaimed, voice breaking. “Come on. Please.”

“You promise you’re okay?” He asked again, voice almost a whisper. One of his hands came up to brush your wild hair away from your face. “Promise me and I’ll keep going.”

“I promise,” You squirmed, letting out a whimper as you did so. “Please, Steve.”

With your promise, he was pulling out and quickening his pace, his hips all but slamming in and out of you as you moaned beneath him, eyes closed once more as you willed your orgasm to come any faster. With one sharp thrust, and one more press against your g-spot, you were cumming so suddenly that you swore your saw stars, and Steve followed seconds later. Your moans mingled as his body weight came down on top of you, a grounding weight as you both recovered from your climaxes.

Your tears only got worse when you felt him try to wrap his arms around you and roll the two of you over, but you kept your back on his bed and gently pushed away his arm with a shake of your head. The look in his eyes, that emotion you had seen in his eyes returning, made you feel sick as you sat up in bed. It took you a moment to gain the strength to swing your legs over the side of the bed and rise to your feet.

You ignored his piercing gaze as you wiped the tears from your face, collected your clothes from around the room, and let yourself into his en-suite bathroom. You tried to ignore the sound of him rising from bed as you cleaned his cum from between your legs and redressed yourself, trying your best to keep your composure until you at the very least got to your car.

He knocked on the door just as you finished fixing your hair, your hands gripping on the edge of his marble countertop.

“Can we talk? Please?” He asked at the door. “You can’t just leave after that. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

With one last deep breath, you opened the door and pushed past him. “That’s exactly what I’ll be doing. I have no reason to stay.”

“But you never left after before,” He huffed, blocking the doorway momentarily.

“That’s because I wanted to be around you, Steve,” You bit back.

“Obviously you wanted to be around me ten minutes ago when you were in my bed,” A scoff left his lips as you pushed past again into the hallway of his apartment. You bristled at his words, wheeling around on your heel.

“I came here to fuck, Steve. I didn’t come here to be around you,” You said evenly, your eyes boring into his. “You gave me an opportunity, and I took it. That’s all this is. That’s all it ever was, right?”

“It’s not like that—“

“You don’t get to be butthurt when you get a taste of your own medicine. I’m leaving, and you can go fuck yourself from now on,” You turned back around and reached for your thumb, where the last piece of Steve in your life laid. A gold signet ring with his initials carved into it in ornate cursive, perfectly sized for his ring finger, and your thumb. You pulled it off with ease, tossed it onto the counter, grabbed your keys that had fallen out of your pocket earlier, and headed for the door.

“So this is it?” He asked from the far side of the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest. “This is the last time I’m seeing you.”

“Whatever this is was over months ago, Steve,” You snorted and opened the door, soaring one last glance over your shoulder at his shirtless frame. “You need to get over it.”

———————

[cozycompositions]

Hello Lovelies! Sorry about this one, my hand slipped. This one WILL be having another chapter quite soon!

TW// strangulation, character death

Alexander had to fight back the bile that rose in his throat when his comrade fell. Alexander’s arms were still raised, finger still pressing on the trigger and gun still smoking.

“Now look what you’ve done, Hamilton,” a chilling voice startled the boy. Alexander blinked back stinging tears as he whipped his head to the side. Right where he was just shooting at, right where the man was supposed to be before at the entrance to the barn.

Right where John had been instead.

“Oh, well,” their - his - captor continued, “Less work for me. I suppose I should be thanking you, boy.”

When the man lunged at Alexander, he wasn’t ready. He had Hamilton pinned on the floor with ease, already bringing harsh fists down on the boy’s body. Tears began falling freely as the weight of the situation hit him. Alexander’s arms came up in a half-hearted attempt to protect himself, as his head lulled to the side to gaze upon John’s prone form - his body.

Alexander’s world was fading around him. He no longer processed the blows landing on his body that should have been weakening him. His vision was tunneling and any and all movement was blurring together into white nothingness.

Only John was in front of him. Only John existed.

Except he didn’t anymore.

John’s body had been thrown back by the bullet - he was dead before he had even hit the ground. Alexander couldn’t even imagine the fear and surprise the older man must have felt for that split second before the bullet pierced skillfully through his chest.

The man much his senior on top of him all of a sudden had a strong grip on both of his wrists and was holding them above his head. Alexander’s attention snapped back to reality and the present situation.

“It’ll be much more fun to watch the life drain from your eyes if you’re paying attention,” the man snarled, somehow with a terrifying grin planted firmly on his face.

With a shift, one hand was wrapped around Alexander’s throat with the other holding both of his wrists. Alexander squirmed and tried to kick, but with the man straddling his legs it was near impossible. His lunged burned and he could feel his movements becoming sloppy and weaker by the second.

This is where I die, he thought.

Suddenly the weight on top of him was lifted up, and the sounds of a struggle registered in Alexander’s ears. He turned over onto his side, bruised hand coming up to meet his burning throat as he coughed and gulped in large heaves of precious air.

And then there were hands on his shoulders, arms, his face, and lips speaking rapidly in front of him. He could barely make out the words due to his bought of oxygen deprivation, but he immediately recognized the heavy French accent accompanying the frantic, concerned words.

Lafayette.

Over his dear friend’s shoulder Alexander’s gaze fell back onto John. A bright red puddle was growing underneath his twisted body, though it wasn’t nearly as pressing as it would be if he was alive. It didn’t matter that the blood was spreading, the heart to spread it had already stopped beating.

“Alexandre!”

With a gasp and a cry, Alexander was facing Lafayette whose face was crumpled with many different emotions. Tears that matched his own were decorating his face.

“We have to get out of here, now!” Another voice from the left shouted. Alexander looked over and for the first time noticed Hercules Mulligan, now standing over the unconscious body of this captor.

Lafayette was pulling Alexander into standing, almost ignoring the way the boy’s knees shook under his weight. Without another glance back the three were rushing out of the barn, right past John’s body.

“Wait!” Alexander cried, twisting out of Lafayette’s protective grip and rushing towards his John.

“Alex, we have to go!” Hercules hissed, rushing forward and seizing Alexander by the forearms.

“No!” Alexander screeched, “No! We can’t leave him!”

The tears were rushing faster down his red face as he thrashed.

“There’s nothing we can do for him! We have to go, man!”

With an awful lot of physical altercation, Lafayette and Mulligan managed to drag young Alexander all the way to the waiting horses who were tied at the tree line outside the property of horrors. Alexander had sobbed and screamed the entire way despite his friends desperate attempts to quiet him, lest they be caught.

Once they were on the horses and on their way, the questions started.

What was done to you?

Did you tell them anything?

What happened to John?

“Alexandre?” Gilbert questioned at the uncharacteristic silence of his friend. “What happened to John?”

A soft whisper from the boy had Lafayette turning with a raised brow.

A safe distance from their enemy, they slowed the horses to a stop. Hercules craned forward to be able to see Alexander’s face from where he was seated behind him in the saddle.

“What was that?”

“It was me.”

[mountainofgoats]

Back in the Saddle

Midvale, a few weeks post-Phantom Zone. In an attempt to remaster the powers Kara spent months without, she and her two most important people make a road trip home to test her flight.

Or, I just want Kara to be able to fly for the joy of it the way Clark did in Man of Steel.

Read with “Flight” by Hans Zimmer playing. You won’t regret it.

/////

Lena knows the moment Kara emerges from the house up on the ridge. Alex’s eyes flick up, back down, then up again in quick succession. An entirely smug grin alights her face before she pointedly looks back down at her tablet.

“We’re going to have to have a talk about your affinity for making my sister new suits at some point, Luthor,” she says.

Lena feels her face heat up. “No idea what you mean.”

“Sure you don’t.”

Lena scoffs. “She needed a new one,” she hisses at the smirking elder Danvers. “The one she had was wrecked and there was no fixing it.”

“Agreed,” Alex allows, smile growing. “But this is what? The fourth one you’ve made for her?”

“One other! With upgrades!”

“Mmhmm.” Alex types a few more things into the tablet. Pulls out a USB and plugs it into the side. “Sure.”

Lena feels her face go hot. “What are you insinuating, Alex?”

Alex shrugs. “Not insinuating anything,” she says. She glances back up and smiles some more. “Just thinking you’re making a habit of making suits for Kara and I kind of appreciate it.”

At Lena’s questioning look, Alex elaborates. “Winn made her first one,” she says. “And yeah, it did the job, but it was-“ she waves her hand in a so-so gesture, wincing- “not the best. Prone to wardrobe malfunctions.”

Lena snorts. “Patriarchy.”

“Fuck ‘em,” Alex agrees with a playful two finger salute.

After a shared grin with Lena, her eyes travel back to where Kara must have made it down to the beach. “They’ve all protected her, the suits you’ve made,” Alex says. Her voice has gone quiet. Gone is the light teasing. She holds Lena’s eyes for a moment. “And I... can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

Lena’s eyes suddenly mist over, and her throat works against the lump that forms there.

Alex looks pointedly back down at her tablet, where she pulls up a video feed from one of the comm pieces resting on the boulder she’s made her impromptu HQ desk. She clears her throat. “I’ve never made sure you knew that. So. Now I’m telling you.”

Lena absolutely refuses to cry, but fuck if it doesn’t take a Herculean effort. She wrestles with the hot gratitude and affection boiling in her chest as Alex fiddles with the settings on the camera feed.

Alex glances up again, and her smile turns warm in a way Lena knows is reserved only for her sister. “Looking good, sis,” she calls. “Little weird without the cape, though.”

“Thanks! Lena made it!” Kara chirps from behind Lena. “Even has pockets! And yeah, I was going to ask you about that. Is there no cape, Lena?”

She barely dares to turn, but Alex is giving her one hell of a challenging look, and she’s still a Luthor.

And Luthors never back down from a challenge.

She turns her face just enough to look over her shoulder and immediately curses that particular Luthor trait.

Sure, she made the suit. But that in no way prepares her for what it looks like when it’s wrapped around Kara. The dark blue, almost black throws her golden hair, shimmering in the late sun, in sharp relief. The smooth material sweeps over the dips and curves of her shoulders and biceps, the dip in the high collar exposing slightly below the hollow of her throat. She approaches silently on the sand, the soft and supple deep maroon boots smooth and soundless. Lena had left the pants a little loose, a little more comfortable, but that did nothing to hide the muscle that bunches and releases rhythmically as Kara walks across the sand.

And she’s looking quizzically at Lena. Head slightly titled, blue eyes somehow even bluer against the darkness of her suit, the blue and red accents, and the reddish tint of the setting sun.

Lena rips her eyes away from the subtle dips in Kara’s abs and desperately wracks her brain to remember what question was asked of her.

“Cape, Lena?” Alex prompts with a shit eating grin.

“Right,” Lena coughs. She turns fully to meet Kara, hand already pointing to the belt slung diagonally across Kara’s chest. “I figured, since you’re not wanting to be in the limelight just yet, I should make it a bit more understated,” Lena explains. “Did you see the crest on your left shoulder?”

“Yeah,” Kara nods. “I like that it’s so small.”

“Press it.”

Kara’s eyes dance with curiosity, not leaving Lena’s, as she reaches up to press on the tiny S affixed to the dark brown leather.

At the press of Kara’s fingers, the nanites immediately begin to crawl across the suit, gathering and extending down her back and around her chest in a long, deep maroon cloak. Kara lets out a startled sound of delight, swishing the thick material and stroking at it with near reverence.

“More nanites?” Alex smirks.

Lena shrugs, tossing the elder Danvers a smirk of her own. “I mean, I do have an MO at this point. No sense in ditching it.”

“It’s great!” Kara exclaims. She swishes the cloak again, grinning happily. “I can put it away if I want! This would have saved me so many headaches years ago!”

She bounces over to Lena and wraps her up in a warm hug. “Thank you,” she says quietly. Only for Lena. “I love it.”

Lena squeezes her around the back, hands fisting in the material of the cloak, feeling herself flush with happiness. “I’m glad,” she whispers.

“That’s actually a pretty good idea, Lena,” Alex says as they break apart. She’s back at the tablet, tapping and looking over some sort of read out. “She was always complaining how the cape got in the way.”

Lena arches an eyebrow at Kara. “What about your cape tricks?”

Kara grimaces. “Much less useful than I was led to believe.”

Alex snorts. “Understatement of the century,” she mutters. “Okay,” she strides over to a Kara and gently fits a comm around her ear. “That has a GPS and camera built in. We’ll be able to see what you see, know where you are, monitor vitals-“

Kara makes a face. “Wait, if you can track me, couldn’t someone else?”

Lena shakes her head. “The crest has signals built in to interfere with radar. Any signal that’s not Alex’s will get scrambled to cloak you.”

Kara surges forward for another hug, and over her shoulder Lena sees Alex smile with an exasperated shake of her head.

“Always protecting,” she mutters.

“What, Alex?” Kara asks as she lets Lena go and takes a step back.

“Nothing,” Alex says. She inputs a few more commands on the tablet, then looks up at Kara. “So. You ready?”

Lena glances over to Kara for what she thinks will be a quick confirmation.

But in those brief seconds, Kara’s easy smile and eager brightness had darkened.

In the red glow of the sun, she stands with her face tilted upward. She gazes at the sky with unfiltered longing, but her hands are trembling. Her whole being quivers, wound tight like a spring, as if she wants nothing more than to hurl herself up to the clouds. But there’s a tightness in her eyes, something there that just... won’t let her. She just stands there, shaking, looking up with haunted eyes.

Alex reaches out, rests a hand on Kara’s forearm. “Hey,” she murmurs. “You don’t have to do anything crazy. Whatever you’re ready for is all you have to do. The rest will follow.”

Kara nods, but still she hesitates. “But what if- what happens if I can’t- I mean-“

“I caught you floating in your sleep two nights ago,” Lena says gently and Kara’s eyes - desperate, scared eyes - whip to hers. “You can do this. But only if you’re ready to. Okay?”

The near manic desperation in Kara’s eyes cools as they hold each other’s gaze. She squeezes Alex’s hand, takes a breath, and nods resolutely.

“Yeah, yeah,” she mutters, giving her shoulders a shake. “I’m good. I’m okay.”

Alex squeezes her arm, then lets go. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Kara has her eyes on the sky again, gives her shoulders one more fortifying shake. She flexes her hands, rubs them on her pants once. She glances over at Lena and seems to brighten at the reassuring smile Lena gives her.

“Okay,” she breathes. “Here goes nothing.”

She stills, closes her eyes. Breathes in deep, then lets it out slow.

She breathes once more, the tense lines of her face relaxing.

Silently, her feet leave the sand.

Alex reaches over for Lena’s arm and grasps it tightly.

Eyes still closed, Kara rises higher in the air, straight up. She turns in gentle circles as she ascends, up and above the ridge.

Alex is looking over the read-outs on the tablet, eyes darting back and forth with near frantic energy. “Looking good so far, Kara,” she says distractedly. “Vitals are good. You’re at a hundred feet now.”

“Feels good,” comes Kara’s voice through the comms. “I’m not even trying.”

Alex’s smile is so proud Lena wants to cry. “That’s good, kid. That’s so good. Two hundred feet now.”

Alex is still gripping Lena’s arm painfully tight, but she’s rocking up on her toes happily, shooting Lena fervent looks of pure joy.

“Knew you could do it, Kara,” Lena says into her own comms, taking Alex’s hand away from her arm but keeping ahold of it. She squeezes as tight as her own bubbling pride allows.

Kara’s finally in the air. She’s flying. It’s one more step closer to conquering the giant mountain they’ve been climbing since she got back.

“How high now, Alex? I’m not looking.”

Alex glances at the screen, then up towards where Kara is becoming a dark dot among the clouds. “A thousand feet. Still feeling good?”

“Yeah. Really good, actually.”

“Have you opened your eyes yet?” Alex’s voice is teasing.

“No. What if I’m suddenly afraid of heights?” Her voice is childishly whiny, drawing a chuckle out of Alex and Lena.

Lena glances down at the video feed from Kara’s earpiece and has to stop herself from gasping.

“Kara, I think you should open your eyes,” she says slightly breathlessly.

“I’m gonna fall if I do,” comes Kara’s tight reply.

Alex is also staring at the camera feed, watching as the view of the water recedes farther toward the bottom of the screen as Kara rises higher and higher. “Kara, you want to see it,” she says. “Trust us.”

Lena knows the exact moment Kara opens her eyes. There’s a tiny gasp through the comms, and the camera arrests in place. Locked on to the brilliance of the shimmering water, the watercolor of the clouds in the light of the setting sun.

For a moment, Kara hangs motionless in the air.

Alex is anxiously tightening and loosening her grip on Lena’s hand. Looking up to where Kara is barely a speck in the sky, back to the camera, then back up again.

“Kara?” she says, a small break in her voice. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” comes Kara’s breathless voice. “Yeah, no, I’m good.”

There’s another moment of silence, then “It’s breathtaking. I... I’d almost forgotten-“ her voice cracks, and she clears her throat -“How beautiful this planet is.”

Alex squeezes Lena’s hand so tight it hurts, and Lena brings her free hand to grip at Alex’s forearm.

Alex sniffles, swipes her eyes against her shoulder. “It has its moments,” she rasps.

For a few long moments, they three stay silent. Lena and Alex on the ground, clutching at hands and arms in barely restrained joy with the waves lapping nearby.

And Kara, so high they can’t even see her, hanging in midair. Silent save for her gentle, easy breathing and the wind whistling around her.

And then, so suddenly both Lena and Alex flinch, she huffs a breath.

“Wanna see how fast I can get around the world?”

Alex barks a laugh, exchanging a fond and relieved look with Lena. “Your record is what? Thirty four seconds?”

“I can beat that,” comes the cocky reply.

And god, she sounds so happy.

Alex scoffs. “If you say so.”

Lena pulls out her phone and sets up a stopwatch. “On my mark, then?” she says.

“Don’t break anything, Kara,” Alex warns, though there’s no bite in her voice.

“And don’t break that suit,” Lena chimes in.

Kara’s voice has a tiny edge of Supergirl - the first since the Phantom Zone - when she replies. “Nothing’s getting broken here except the sound barrier.”

A shiver shoots down Lena’s spine. She does her best to ignore why.

“In three, two, one-“ she taps her phone- “Go.”

BOOM!

The noise vibrates through Lena’s chest. High above, the sky seems to part for Kara as she rockets towards the sun, leaving a trail in her wake.

Lena and Alex crowd the screen, watching wide-eyed as the ocean zips by far below, clouds whipping past, the camera quivering with the breakneck speed.

“Oh my god,” Lena murmurs almost by accident.

On the screen, a dark line of land rapidly approaches on the horizon as Kara hurtles toward it.

“That’ll be Japan,” Alex mumbles. She checks the read-outs and nods to herself. “Vitals are still good. Heart rate’s a little elevated, but considering-“ she gestures to the screen with a wry smile.

Lena nods, barely holding back happy tears.

On screen, Kara slows just enough for the sound to come back. Air whistles through the comms, her breathing slightly labored, and she ducks her head to watch the cities blink far below.

She won’t break her record by slowing like this, but Lena doesn’t mention that. And neither does Alex. They just watch as Kara picks up speed again, camera angling strangely as she dives.

She shoots west, weaving in huge slalom turns. The camera angles and tilts as she looks across the water, across the trees and grasslands and mountains as she passes them. Cities and towns flash past like street lights on a highway.

On the screen, her GPS tracks her through the rest of Asia, across India and into Africa. It’s a far cry from the speed she’d shot off at, but she doesn’t seem to mind as she dips and rolls through the clouds, hand outstretched as if to catch the swirling vapors.

Once she reaches the distant coast, Kara dips so low her hand reaches out to skim the water. She sails over the waves, fingers dragging, until she finds a pod of dolphins playing in the white water. For a moment, she flies just above the waves with them as they leap and dance.

The camera jerks toward the sky, and Kara gives a loud, delighted whoop as she shoots upwards. Spinning and spinning so fast the camera is blurring with the speed.

And through it all, Kara is laughing. Huge, joyous belly laughs, arms outstretched and head thrown back as she sails back into the clouds.

At 40,000 feet, she slows her ascent. Like a ball tossed in the air, she hovers at a stop for a split second before she starts to plummet. She turns, belly down and arms outstretched as the ocean rushes to meet her.

Still laughing with outrageous joy.

“God I missed that,” Alex murmurs. Her voice quivers and breaks.

Lena doesn’t take her eyes away from the screen. She doesn’t want to miss a single moment of this. But she does give Alex’s hand a squeeze in agreement.

Because hearing that laugh, being here and watching as Kara rolls and dives through the air, is healing pieces of Lena’s heart that she didn’t think would ever even scab over.

Kara’s joy is infectious, like it had always been. And Lena finds that she’s soaking it in like a woman parched.

On screen, Kara shoots off with another mighty BOOM. Her GPS shows her hurtling across the US at breakneck speed.

“Not even close to her record,” Alex laughs wetly. “Guess we’ll have to try again later.”

Lena swipes her hand under her eyes with a chuckle, catching tears that neither of them really acknowledge.

And seconds later, Kara lands with a muffled thump. Sand flies under her feet, and the ground trembles.

But her face is flushed, smile radiant, eyes glistening with tears.

Alex takes a step toward her, but pauses. “You okay?”

Kara gives a sobbing laugh, gestures helplessly with her hands. But her smile is wondrous.

Alex surges forward and wraps her in a tight hug. Kara clutches back, hands buried in her sister’s jacket and face pressed against her shoulder.

After a moment, one hand reaches out, fingers wiggling invitingly.

Lena takes that hand in both of hers and holds on tight. Over Alex’s shoulder, Kara’s eyes crinkle with her smile, sparkling and overwhelmed. She squeezes Lena’s hand, then tucks her eyes against her sister’s shoulder with a huge breath.

In a way, Lena feels as if they’re all breathing that same breath of relief.

“I wanna go again.” Kara’s voice is muffled adorably against Alex’s jacket.

Alex chuckles and rocks Kara back and forth happily. “We can stay out here as long as you want.”

Kara nods. “’Kay,” she says. But she holds on to Alex tighter, fingers digging into her jacket. “But in a minute, okay?”

Alex nods. Presses a kiss to the side of Kara’s head. “In a minute.”

And that seems to suit all three of them just fine. No one’s quite ready to let go yet.

/////

I'm a sucker for the angst just as much as the next nerd but I needed them to just... be happy and together. Just for a moment.

[talesofstyles]

Stitches and Pucks

i swear i tried writing the whole fic from the 3rd and 2nd pov in the beginning but hockey harry is so dang loud he’s like hang on honey this is MY story so let me tell this one ☠️ so here we are. i had loads of fun getting inside his head though, i hope you like it!

massive thank you to my biggest cheerleader @smokeinherperfume 🥺💛 and ken i’m so sorry for making you read an LA Kings fic 😂 @emotionally-imbruised

warning: smut. there’s no actual bow chicka wow wow stuff though but there’s some thigh riding 👀

[17k]

Harry

I swear I’m gonna kill Zayn.

That fucker just slammed my face into the boards, and as I’m trying to push back while flexing my jaw because that’s the right thing to do when you’ve got your face smashed into the boards, he tries to push me back again. Well, not a fucking chance. I give a particularly hard push back to get him off my back and I’m able to free my stick from the boards and put the blade to ice.

Because we’re playing on home ice here at Staples Center and I know its speed and consistency like the back of my hand, it takes nothing but a short tap on the puck and it shoots back between both of our legs. We scrabble, throwing elbows and shoulders and even kicking at it with our skates to expel it out. It’s a hard-fought battle, probably not lasting more than a few seconds, but it’s starting to wind me up because fuck if I’m gonna let them score. We’re up 4-2 against The Sharks, and with only under six minutes left to play in the game, I’d like to keep it that way.

I really don’t see it coming. And as much as we hate each other’s guts, it probably wasn’t even intentional, but it still hurts like a mother when Zayn’s stick pops upward, the end catching me just above my left eyebrow. I don’t feel any pain at first, but red, blurred vision definitely lets me know I’ve got blood streaming down my face. The ref blows the whistle and the play stops as the penalty is called.

The pain hits me next, and I bend over at the waist, my clear eye watching as a stream of blood hits the ice and freezes. In just about a few seconds, I feel a towel covering the cut and I hear the new team doctor say, “alright… let’s get you off the ice.”

Her hand stays steady at my back as I lift up straight, taking the towel in my own hand to hold it in place. The doctor walks alongside me while I skate to the bench, which has an exit door on one end that will lead back to the locker room. A few of my teammates slap me on the shoulder as I walk past. Harvey, who plays the same position as me but on the second-line yells out, “get stitched up so you can come back out and kick his pansy ass.”

I can’t help but chuckle, because that’s exactly what I plan to do.

“Up on the table,” the doctor says briskly and I watch with my one good eye as she quickly starts preparing the necessary supplies. I hop up onto the table, and in just under four minutes, my very own Doctor McSteamy has my injury evaluated, lidocaine injected, and is now closing the cut with stitches.

Good grief, she’s a fucking vision. Has a slammin’ body too, which no doubt would feel fucking fantastic underneath me. She probably doesn’t even realise it, but she’s got her little tongue sticking out the side of her mouth and I bet that’s something she does when she’s trying to concentrate on what she’s doing. I can feel my dick starting to twitch, so I close my eyes and get my mind out of the gutter before I get a hard-on. Fucking embarrassing.

When I’m sure I’ve got my downstairs head situation under control, I open my eyes again. She’s placing what I’m guessing the last suture on the cut and I make sure I put on my most dazzling smile as I look at her because I can be devastatingly charming when I want to be.

“Hey Doc,” I lean a bit closer to her when she’s done and murmur, “you should let me cook you dinner at my place tonight. You know, as a thank you.”

“No, thank you,” she replies without even looking towards me, preferring to busy herself with putting away the supplies that she used to tend to my cut. “I was just doing my job.”

“Alright then, no dinner at my place tonight,” I say with a sly smile. “But how about giving me your number so I can take you out sometime?”

She snorts in reply. “I’m not one of your puck bunnies.”

“No, you’re not,” I smirk at her. My tone is matter-of-fact when I add, “you’re one hot doctor.”

Not sure what I’m expecting, but this is definitely not it. Most women would blush and drop their knickers in an instant when I give them the tiniest bit of my attention, let alone a compliment, and let’s just say that’s why my bed is rarely empty. But it seems like my charms don’t work on this doctor since all I get is a fucking eye-roll.

“Are you always this forward?” She asks, still not looking at me.

“I’m a simple man, Doc,” I tell her with a shrug. “I see something I like, I go and get it.”

“Good for you,” she says dismissively, but I don’t miss the hint of amusement in her tone.

“Does that mean I get your number?”

She lets out a chuckle and finally turns to look at me. “That means I like your way of thinking.”

“So, no number?” I pout like a damn child, and apparently, the sight is hilarious to her. She throws her head back and laughs, and when she looks back to me, I get a wink.

“Sorry sunshine,” she smirks at me and I can’t help but ogle at her lips.

Perfect fucking lips.

“I don’t shit where I eat,” she adds.

Now, this is funny, so this time I’m the one tipping my head back laughing before I bring my gaze back to her. “You know our General Manager, Sloane Knightley?”

“Of course,” she replies, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“She’s with Alex, right-winger,” I tell her with a grin. “Now, Brynne Adams, have you met her yet?”

“The Athletic Trainer?”

“That’s the one, and she’s dating Matt, left-winger.”

“What?” Her jaw drops and it’s the cutest fucking sight. I’ve always thought of myself as a tits-man, but apparently now I’m a jaws-man too.

“Oh I’m not done yet,” I smirk at her. “Sarah Jones, Head of Equipment Manager, do you know her?”

She nods. “I’ve met her twice.”

“She’s with Mitch, right defenseman. Now, you probably haven’t met this one yet, but our goalie, Adam, is the only one married between us first-line players. His wife, Rachel, is the head of our in-house legal team. So look around Doc, everyone’s bloody shitting and eating around here,” I finish with a grin.

“Yeah, that doesn’t change a thing,” she insists. “That won’t be me.”

I give her one last glance as I hop off the table before I walk towards the door, pretty sure my eyes glitter with mischief as I say, “yeah, we’ll see, sunshine.”

—

The Owner’s Box is a local sports bar in El Segundo. Located only a stone’s throw away from the team’s practice facility at Toyota Sports Center, it has become the go-to hangout for a lot of the players ever since the facility opened in 2000. I like this place because it carries 140 types of beer and I like beer, and honestly the food is great as well.

As much as we like to mix and mingle with the fans, which is super fucking cool in my opinion, the manager always ropes off an area on the second floor for the players so we can drink and chill out without fans swamping us. Usually when we arrive, we’ll hang around the first-floor bar area for a bit to give the fans an opportunity to take pictures and ask for autographs before we head upstairs.

It’s always crowded after the game because everyone knows they can find us here, but it always gets extra busy whenever we win. Tonight, there’s an actual line of people waiting to get inside.

I nod at a bouncer and enter, and it takes me a good half an hour to make it to the second floor where I find several of my teammates sitting at some of the tables or standing around talking.

Winding around tables, teammates, and hot women since several puck bunnies have been allowed to go up the second floor and are doing their best to get noticed by the players wearing outfits that fit them like a second skin, I make my way over to Alex and Matt who are already sitting at one of the tables nursing their beers. Those two are my best friends since we’re linemates, but normally I’d go stand over with the single guys and start my selection process for whatever woman who’d warm my bed for the night.

Not tonight though. Never thought this day would come but I’m not here for a hookup tonight.

Alex gives me a knowing grin as I sit down since I told him in the locker room after the game about my exchange with the hot doctor earlier when she tended to my cut and how she turned me down. Well, he and several other of my teammates since there were a few there in the locker room with us and they had ears to listen. I’m pretty sure I could even hear Mitch chuckle, which is honestly one of the world’s seven wonders since the guy barely talks let alone laughs.

“How’s that cut feeling?” Matt asks as I take a seat in front of him.

“Feels like a butterfly kissed me there,” I tell him, which gets a deep belly laugh from both him and Alex. We hockey players would never admit to being hurt in a fight. Ever.

The voices in the second floor immediately go silent and I see all eyes swing towards the stairs, and when I look there I see our General Manager walks in alongside Coach Higgins, followed by some staff of the team. Cheers start ringing as she walks towards our table, no doubt to sit next to her man, and then I hear a low chant, “Sloane! Sloane! Sloane! Sloane!”

Matt and I do the same since not only Sloane is more of a close friend rather than a boss who signs our paycheck once she steps outside of the GM office, but as the only female GM in the league, she managed to turn our team into champions. We won the Stanley Cup last season and no doubt she’s going to push us to victory again this season. Alex has a shit-eating grin plastered across his face as his gaze focuses on his girl, looking so damn proud of her. Man, my best friend is fucking whipped.

Sloane blushes, slides a grin to Alex, and when the sound dissipates and the guys all start sitting back down, she says, “shut up you big jerks, do you want me to cry?”

We all bark in laughter.

I stand up to give her access to the booth so she can sit between Alex and I, and Alex immediately wraps his arm around her shoulders when she’s within his reach to pull her closer to him and proceeds to give her a searing kiss. I whip my head at Matt and we both make a fake gagging noise.

“God, I think I’m going to be sick,” Matt says and Alex flips him off, still giving his woman a hell of a kiss and without even looking at us.

“I know, right? Not used to you being so fucking mushy mate,” I add. “Gives me the willies.”

Sloane laughs as she breaks the kiss. She leans over and playfully punches me in the arm. “You’ll have a good woman one day, Harry.”

“Yeah,” I drawl, then I give a faux shudder to make sure they understand I like being single. “No thanks.”

“You sure?” Matt cocks an eyebrow, but before I can reply, something behind me catches his attention. “Ooh, isn’t that the new doctor?”

I whip around so fast I fucking knock a bottle of ketchup off the table and it goes flying across the floor. Matt is laughing so damn hard he almost falls off from the booth, Alex is leaning over as he laughs, pressing one palm down on the sofa with the other to his ribs as if they hurt from laughing and Sloane is dabbing at her eyes as she laughs hysterically.

But yes, holy shit, that’s the doctor stepping off the stairs and onto the second floor with Brynne and Sarah. Now, I know Brynne will most definitely walk towards our table since Matt is here, but Sarah will most definitely walk towards the bar where Mitch is talking with some other guys.

Come here. Come here. Come here.

Fuck, she goes with Sarah to the bar.

“Oh no,” Alex says low and in warning. “I know that look.”

I don’t bother to give him my attention, keeping my eyes pinned on my girl. But I do ask him, “what look?”

“Your gaze just became predatory,” he says with a laugh.

“God, you have it bad for her,” Sloane teases but I ignore her as I stand up. Brynne gives me a wink when I walk past her and now I have a suspicion that my teammates blabbed to their women about what happened earlier tonight and now they’re trying to set me and the hot doctor up. Otherwise, why would she even be here? Fucking crazy, I know, but they’re all nuts.

“Go get her, tiger!” Matt quips as I walk towards the bar without looking back at their table.

The doctor has ditched the white lab coat that she wore earlier tonight at the arena, and I’m glad she has her back to me since I don’t make a secret of my ogling. My eyes are pinned to her ass in those skinny jeans and fucks sake I need to get a grip.

“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine,” I say with a smile as I stand next to her, trying to get her attention. That was lame, I know, and I feel like I want to punch myself for not being cool.

She laughs and fuck if that’s not the best sound in the world. It’s warm, rich, and husky, which warms my blood and speaks to my dick for some reason. Not sure if she’s laughing because she genuinely thinks I’m funny or is that just a pity laugh, but honestly I could listen to her laughing all day. Wouldn’t be opposed to hearing her moan one day, preferably with her underneath me, but if her laugh is all I can get at this moment then I’ll take it.

“Can I get you a drink?” I ask her and I mentally prepare myself for her to decline since she turned me down earlier in the arena, so it totally takes me by surprise when she only shrugs and says, “eh, why not.”

I’m sure my smile is ten times wider and she sees it. “What’s your poison?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

“What if I want the hard stuff?” I raise a single brow. “Sure you want that?”

“What?” She smirks at me and my inner caveman is screaming for me at the sight to just throw her over my shoulder and take her home right this instant. But obviously I won’t do that, since I’m pretty sure that’s called kidnapping and I know I won’t look good in prison stripes. “You don’t think I can take it?”

“Oh honey, I know you can take it,” I laugh as I lift my finger to the bartender. “I’m only wondering how you’ll handle it.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to wait and see.”

—

It’s three hours and many beers later, well for her anyway since I limit myself at two because I’m driving, and we’re stumbling out of the bar, laughing our asses off.

She’s telling me about the funniest thing that happened at the hospital a few months ago. At the beginning they thought they had a domestic situation because the couple came separately; one via ambulance and one via police car. But when they finally got the whole story, it turned out to be an anniversary celebration gone wrong since the wife had a seizure when she was going down on her husband and bit down on him.

“Are you joking?!” I stare at her, mouth gaping in astonishment before I burst out laughing hysterically.

She shakes her head and laughs with me. “I wish.”

“Did you manage to save his manhood?” I ask with a half-grin and half grimace.

“My colleague did,” she replies. “I was busy with the wife, she had rather extensive head trauma.”

“From the seizure?”

“Well, in panic and pain, her husband didn’t think much and just grabbed the closest thing he could find to try to get her to loosen her bite, which sadly was an old rotary style telephone and hit her in the head with it. She was okay in the end, though.”

“That’s one hell of an anniversary to remember for sure,” I chuckle, and the giggle she emits pretty much confirms she’s bladdered. Well, not the kind of drunk where she wouldn’t remember tonight I’m sure, but I bet she’ll wake up with a massive headache.

“I sure hope you’re not driving,” I say as I steady her by the elbow when she wobbles as we step down the stairs.

“Sarah, Brynne and I took an Uber here from the arena earlier,” she mutters as she pulls out her phone from her handbag.

“Let me drive you home,” I quickly say before she gets the chance to order a ride. Not sure why I did that because I certainly have never offered women a ride home without the promise of getting in their knickers, and I can assure you that I won’t be getting anywhere near hers tonight, but maybe I just don’t want this night to end yet.

We’ve been glued at the hip from the moment I bought her first drink, and three hours purely just talking with the same woman? That’s a record in my book. While I’m not ashamed to admit that I also like looking at her, honestly, to me that’s just an added bonus. I think it’s safe to say that I have never met anyone like her before. Granted, with most women usually there wasn’t much talking, but from what I learnt in just the span of three hours is that this doctor of mine is a hell of a lot of fun.

I swear she’s just a pure fucking joy to be around. Conversation with her is like a never-ending merry-go-round and she makes me laugh a lot. She’s bright and witty and she’s one of those people that knows no strangers. She can easily talk about anything from politics to sports even to crude jokes, and add on to that, she’s just so kind and inclusive that several times tonight I actually had to drag her away to one of the back tables so we could have a proper chat without the crowd around us.

“You don’t have to,” she gives me a hesitantly sweet smile.

“But I want to,” I gallantly insist as I turn and offer my arm to her. “Come on, I just want to make sure you get home safe.”

“Well, alright then,” she smirks, her hand easily slides into the crook of my elbow. “I could save a few bucks.”

I roll my eyes and tease her, “didn’t take you to be such a skinflint.”

“Hey!” She playfully slaps my arm with her other hand as she laughs and I’m glad I amuse her.

No, seriously... I like her laugh.

There’s no doubt that she wants me, just as there’s no doubt that I totally want her. We’ve got this really heavy flirting going on all night, and plenty of innuendo, but I won’t be surprised nor disappointed if she doesn’t invite me inside when we get to her home and nothing happens tonight.

We’ll get there, I’m sure.

Until then, I’m completely fine drinking beer, being her personal chauffeur, and getting to know her a little better.

—

We always finish team practice with battle drills. From the end zone face-off spot to either the left or right of the goalie, we pair up and battle for a goal. One on offense, the other on defense, we shoulder, bump, and juke our way across the short distance to the net. It’s a four to five second drill that will make us sweat, and then it’s over. We skate to the end of the line, where we wait to do it again.

“Saw you left with the new doctor last night,” says Matt, my battle partner today, with a shit-eating grin as he taps his stick against my leg. “How was she?”

I ignore his question not only because I don’t have the answer that he’s looking for because nothing really happened after I dropped her in front of her house, but also because this feels different. She is different. Had it been just another one night stand, I wouldn’t think twice before I blab all about the dirty details with my teammates. Great lays, lousy lays, I honestly have no filter and I tell them all.

But this is YN, and fuck if I know why and what this really means. All I know for sure is that I want more than to just tap that. The thing is, my teammates will probably not understand because they can’t really see past the fact that the new doctor is a gorgeous woman who I’ve been lusting after for about a week.

“Dude,” Matt says to get a reaction from me, smacking me a little bit harder with his stick. “How many times did you score her last night?”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” I growl.

“Whoa, dude,” he apologises and I swear his grin gets even wider. “Sorry. I guess you’re serious about her?”

“Serious about what?” Alex pipes up from in front of us. He’s paired with Adam, our goalie. There are four pairs of skaters in front of Matt and me, but there’s an equal number on the other side. We’re alternating.

“None of your fucking business,” I mutter, willing the line we’re in to go faster so I can escape from my nosy teammates and head to the doctor’s office.

Alex and Adam take off, Alex with the puck. They ram their shoulders into each other, legs braced and skates digging hard all the way to the net.

“Did you at least kiss her?” Matt nudges me with a sly grin, still trying. Man, he’s not a quitter.

“No,” I answer shortly, hoping that will satisfy him. “Just dropped her at her house and left after I made sure she got inside safely.”

“No. Fucking. Way,” he quips dramatically. “Who are you and what have you done to my teammate?”

Play continues, the next set of skaters in our line taking off and I ignore Matt but apparently he’s not done poking his nose in my business. “Oh, we’re not done yet buddy. Let’s go out tonight so we can squeeze some more gos out of you. Just you, Alex and I, how does that sound? Brynne said the girls are going to have a girls night out so I know he’ll be game.”

The girls means my teammates’ better halves, and honestly, hanging out with just my bros does sound good. Don’t get me wrong, those girls are cool—yes, my boss, Sloane, included—and they’re fun to hang out with. My teammates sure hit the jackpots with their women. But before Sloane and Brynne came along, the three of us were thick as thieves. There was a time where we went out almost every night and that’s why we’re more like brothers than teammates. Sometimes I miss that since we don’t get the chance to do it as often now that they act like old married couples, so yes, this does sound nice.

However, as tempting as it sounds, I want to hang out with my hot doctor more than my mates. That is if she’ll have me though.

“I can’t,” I say, clearing my throat. I lean in towards him and whisper, “I want to take YN out to dinner tonight.”

“Seriously,” he drawls dramatically. “Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?”

Again, I ignore his comment.

“Alright, I guess that’s a definite no to dinner with me and Alex then, huh?” Matt says in an exaggeratedly glum tone.

“The doctor is way prettier than you,” I reply blandly.

“Fine, go on your date,” he says with a slap on my back. “But I want to book some time with my best friend in the near future if it’s not too much trouble.”

“We’re going on a four day road trip in two weeks,” I mutter as I roll my eyes at him. “I’ll snuggle you then.”

Matt sidles up to me, lays his head on my shoulder, and bats his eyelashes. “Oooh, I can’t wait.”

I shove him off with a chuckle. That bastard.

—

“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope,” I say after two knocks on her office door. I can hear her chuckle as she tells me to come in.

God, I have turned into such a dork. But I like hearing her laugh and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to hear that sound again and again.

“Hey,” she smiles at me as she looks up from her computer. “What’s wrong?”

“Knee’s a little sore,” I tell her, not feeling the slightest bit of guilt for my lie just so I can have a few moments to talk to her. “Thought you could take a look at it.”

Her brows draw inward with concern and she motions towards a table. “Did something happen?”

“Nah,” I shake my head as I hop onto the table with my legs hanging over the edge and kick off my slides. “Just came off the ice and noticed it.”

“Alright, go ahead and lie back,” she says as she turns to the sink and washes her hands. “I’m going to do some range-of-motion tests.”

I stay silent as she maneuvers my leg, trying not to focus too much on the feel of her soft hands against me or the smell of her perfume. Fuck, she smells good. Fruity and flowery. Like berries and the heart of rose and bitter wormwood, and the scent is fucking delicious.

“Do you feel any pain when I do this?” She asks with one hand on my calf, the other on my thigh as she rotates my knee.

“Not really,” I shake my head. What happens here today will go in my chart and I don’t want to call any attention to my knee.

“How about this?” She asks, rotating the opposite way.

I shake my head again. “Nope.”

The hand on my calf slides down, grasping the bottom of my foot firmly. With the other hand still holding onto my thigh, she pushes hard into my foot. “This cause any pain?”

“Nope,” I say quickly, and then add, “I think it’s nothing more than my muscles getting back in shape. But I figure some ice can’t hurt, right?”

She slowly lowers my leg and gives me a sweet smile. “Well, I don’t think anything’s loose or torn, but if you’re worried about it, I can schedule an appointment with Dr Green.”

She is the team’s orthopaedic surgeon, and hell I’m not about to do that. Talk about an unnecessary red flag. “I think it’s just a lack of conditioning. Got lazy this summer.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” I nod firmly. “I just need some ice and I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Well, alright then,” she says as she turns back to wash her hands again at the sink. “I’ll let Brynne know and have her prepare you an ice bath.”

“Oh hell no,” I quickly shake my head and grimace. “That bloody thing is pure torture and my balls will go into hibernation until next summer. Just an ice pack will do, Doc.”

She laughs again. “Okay, just an ice pack. I’ll be right back.”

She turns and heads through the door to the treatment room and I take a moment to admire her gracefulness as she moves. She looks delectable today in her scrubs, which are the typical light blue you see in the hospitals, and they hang on her tiny frame loosely. I’d actually never seen her in them before since she usually just wears normal clothes underneath her white lab coat in the arena, but I swear this might possibly be the sexiest outfit I’ve ever seen her in. I’m sure that has to do with the fact that I respect her so much as a doctor that it just heightens my attraction to her, and I can’t help but wonder if she’ll play dress-up games with me in the bedroom when the time comes. Because, well… I certainly wouldn’t mind getting a thorough exam from her.

“Here you go,” she says when she comes back. “Scoot back on the table and stretch your leg out. Keep this on for twenty minutes, then you can go.”

She places a towel over my knee, then lays the bag of ice on top.

“Thanks, Doc,” I tell her.

“Just doing my job,” she quips, and then walks back over to the box of supplies she had been unloading.

“Well, you’re very good at it,” I add and I can hear her chuckle. But I got nothing in response, so I add, “speaking about good things… I had a good time last night.”

“Did you?” She quips, still not looking at me but I can hear from her tone that she’s smiling.

“Well, yeah,” I say with a confident nod. “Didn’t you?”

“Eh, it was alright,” she smirks at me over her shoulder as she walks towards her desk.

“I want to do that again,” I tell her nonchalantly before I ask with a lopsided grin that I hope she finds charming, “will you let me take you to dinner tonight?”

“I can’t,” she shakes her head as she turns to look at me.

“Why? Got a hot date already?”

“Nah,” she chuckles. “Sarah invited me to a girls night at her place. I wasn’t gonna go because they seem like a tight-knit group and I don’t want to intrude, but Sloane came by here earlier to ask me again and she’s bribing me with tacos and margaritas, and well… I can’t say no to both.”

“Fair enough,” I laugh. “But have fun then. They’re all really nice, you’ll fit right in.”

“Thanks,” she gives me an easy smile, and I hope it’s subtle enough that she doesn’t realise this, but my breath actually hitch a little while I stare at her lips.

“How about tomorrow night then?”

“Well-” she begins, but she’s cut short when she hears her pager beeping. “Oh shit, I need to go back to the hospital. You think you’re okay there? Go to Brynne if you need something else.”

“Okay, don’t worry,” I tell her with an encouraging smile. “You go and save some lives, Doc.”

—

The arena is packed, the fans are at a fever pitch, and we’re in the midst of a fierce battle with the Anaheim Ducks. We’d taken them on in the first round of the playoffs last season, and while we swept them, they’re still a formidable opponent. Not to mention there’s a long-standing rivalry between the two teams, and add on to that, we’re in the regular season now so every win counts. The pressure is on.

As a center, I’m a shooter, not a fighter. That means I’m relied on to score, not to play defense or get tough with other players. My body is too valuable to mess it up in a slugfest, so I’m rarely enticed into a fight. Sometimes it takes everything in me to keep my cool, but I know I’ve got to trust Mitch and Marcel, our defensemen.

Just like right now. We’re late in the second period tonight, and one of the Ducks players, Jeff Azoff, is being a dick. He cross-checked me in the back, not strong enough to slam me into the boards, but it was enough to alert Mitch who’s skating right behind us.

“Do that again and I’m going to kick your ass,” I hear Mitch tell him. That guy doesn’t really talk, but he wouldn’t think twice before beating the hell out of someone if they mess with our team. He takes his job as a defenseman seriously. When he’s on the ice, nobody dares to touch his guys.

The fucker did it again, still not forceful enough for a penalty to be called, but Mitch was quick to drop his gloves and took on that Azoff guy. He kicked his ass good.

Man, I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side. Mitch is a badass. Unfortunately though, the fucker did land a lucky hit to his temple and his skin split just to the side of his eyebrow. Knowing Mitch, that will be nothing but a ten-minute trip to the treatment room where YN will stitch him up. I’m sure as hell he wouldn’t let her give him anaesthetic so he can get back on the ice as soon as possible. As I watch him skate towards the exit, I make a mental note in my head to buy him a beer tonight as a thank you.

The play resumed, and there are about forty seconds left on the clock before intermission. The Ducks are down 3-0, and they pull their goalie once they gain possession of the puck since they have nothing to lose. Luckily our stamina is stellar, so our legs are still fresh as we defend.

They pass the puck back and forth, looking for the long shot or a quick dump inside for a goal. My back is to Adam, our goalie, as I keep myself facing the action, letting my stick play loose.

The crowd’s screams escalate in tune to the clock ticking closer to zero. With a sharp flick of the wrist, the puck makes it past Alex, our right-winger, to the inside. Players crash the net, Marcel poke checks, and the biscuit shoots out towards me.

It’s a full-on breakaway as I shoot down the ice, one on one against the goalie.

Tap, tap, tap… back and forth… puck to blade of stick.

I close in on the goalie and juke left.

He goes left and I juke right.

He keeps going left, so I keep going right and flip the puck up and over his shoulder into the back of the net. The red light burns bright behind the net and the fans go wild. That was my third goal tonight, and it’s the perfect timing for intermission since there’s no way we can play with all the hats being thrown onto the ice.

It takes merely a second before I’ve got my teammates surrounding me. Alex, Matt, Marcel, Adam and Niall, one of the defensemen from the second line who’s filling in for Mitch. Pats of their gloved hands on my helmet, stick blades gently against my calves.

We skate to the gate that would lead us to our locker room. We all trudge there, taking up spots around the open space as we wait for Coach Higgins to address us. It’s what he does at the end of every period. If we play poorly, we get our asses handed to us. If we play stellar though, like tonight, he’d be effusive in his praise.

But as much as I’d love to hear nice things from the Coach, there’s nobody I want to see more than my very own Doctor McSteamy. And yes, just to put it out here since I’ve been calling the hot doctor by that nickname, I’ve got to admit that I did watch too much Grey’s Anatomy in the summer because there’s not much I could do during the off-season. My sister didn’t let me watch past season 10 though, because she said it’s not worth it.

“Need to get my knee taped,” I tell Alex on my right as I stand up. We have 17 minutes before we start the third period and I figure that should be enough time to see the Doctor and secure a date in the near future. “I’ll be right back.”

“Bullshit,” he grins and there’s a clear amusement in his eyes. “You want to see your girlfriend.”

“Shut up,” I growl.

“What’s this?” Matt asks curiously as he takes a seat next to Alex.

“Our buddy here wants to see his girlfriend,” Alex’s grin doesn’t lessen as he tilts his head at me. “Needs to get his knee taped, he said.”

“Conjugal visit in-between periods? Classy,” Matt says with a salacious grin and I glare at him. When his laughter dies down, he points out, “okay, jokes aside, that’s a shit excuse. If you really need your knee taped, you’d see Brynne and not YN.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got nothing else here,” I grumble like a stroppy child. “Can’t hit my own head just to get a cut, can I?”

“That would be outright dumb,” Alex laughs. “But come on, I’ll go to Brynne and make up something so at least you can tell the doctor that she’s busy.”

The treatment room is just down the hall from the locker, and when I get there, I notice the door is half open. I see her sitting on the little desk with her computer, so I knock lightly on the door to get her attention.

“Hey, you got a minute?” Her head swings up when she hears my voice and it takes everything in me not to just march there and kiss the fuck out of her when she offers me the sweetest smile. Crazy how much effect this woman has on me. “I need my knee taped but Brynne’s busy.”

“Sure, I was just reading the players’ medical chart,” she replies. “You were on fire out there by the way.”

“Thanks, Doc,” I smile at her.

“Skates, socks, shin pads and pants off,” she says as she walks towards the supply cabinet.

“Jock strap too?” I can’t help but smirk.

“No,” she rolls her eyes playfully as she grabs a towel and hands it to me. “Put this over your lap.”

“Do I have to?”

“Well, yeah, unless you want me to get a peek of your dick.”

“You know I wouldn’t be averse to that, Doc,” I say with a waggle of my eyebrows.

She gives me a school teacher, disapproving-type look but the slight twitch of amusement in the corner of her mouth is hard to miss. “You’re so bad.”

“You have no idea,” I grin, but she doesn’t see it because she has her back to me. She’s pulling another cabinet open to get adhesive, gauze and tape before knocking it close with her shoulder.

This is ridiculous but I’m actually a bit self-conscious of getting practically half naked in front of the hot doctor. I have absolutely no clue why and this had certainly never happened before.

I shed my gear from the waist down and she keeps her back to me until I get on the therapy table and the towel is covering my lap. She lays out her supplies on the table beside us, her slender fingers using a pair of scissors to open a new package of tape.

I take a moment to admire her as she cuts off uniform lengths of tape and attaches them to the table. She’s not in the scrubs I saw her in last week, but if you think I’d be disappointed, even just slightly, then you’d be wrong because you could put her in a burlap sack and to me she would still absolutely look edible.

Tonight, she’s rocking a mustard-yellow trouser suit with wide legs and a cross-over pleated blouse underneath her white lab coat. The crisscross swath of silk that wraps around her upper body does lovely things to her tits, and I realise I’m quite the pig to be thinking about her this way.

“Left knee?” She asks. “I’ve just finished reading your medical chart when you came in. Arthroscopic medical meniscus repair two years ago.”

“Yeah,” I nod. “Sometimes it feels a little loose. A good taping is all it needs.”

“Any soreness?” She asks as she steps up in between my legs that dangle over the table.

I shake my head and say, “nope.”

“Clicking or popping?”

“Nope.”

“Locking?” She inquires as she lifts her face up to mine.

She’s fucking close enough I can smell her minty breath. I could easily kiss her, but I’d probably get kneed in the nuts, so I just shake my head and say, “nah, just feels a little loose.”

“Okay,” she says, laying a soft pat on my thigh. It’s nothing but a move of reassurance, but fuck if I don’t feel it all the way through my gut.

She grabs her supplies and I can’t keep my eyes off her as she gets to work taping my knee. It takes merely a few minutes, and then she finishes the wrap, holding the end while taping it with the precut pieces. “There you go,” she says, stepping back.

“I’ve got something to confess. My knee was absolutely fine,” I blurt out, the words popping out of my mouth so suddenly, I’ve got no clue where they came from. Clearly my subconscious decided to overtake my sensibility and make itself known. “I came here because I wanted to see you. Thought I’d try to get your phone number and a date one last time before I give up.”

She gives a tinkling laugh. “You’re not a quitter, are you?”

“Well, no,” I reply with a grin. “So, tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up at seven. How does that sound?”

“Listen,” she smiles at me sweetly as she begins, but I don’t like the sound of it. Nothing good ever comes after ‘listen’. “You’re a nice guy-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I cut her as I hold my hands up. “Don’t go with the ‘nice guy’ brush off. Clearly I’m not if you won’t give me the time of day.”

“I just don’t think we’re looking for the same thing-”

“What?” I ask incredulously.

“Look, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem more like the bang ‘em and leave ‘em type to me.”

“Is that really how people see me?” I ask her curiously, without an ounce of defense in my voice because there’s no point in denying that. I really don’t care what people think, but I’d like to hear her opinion.

“You’re a player, Harry,” she says with a chuckle. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re young and in your prime. You should totally be sowing all your wild oats. It’s just… I’m at the point in my life where I realise that meaningless sex without something deeper isn’t very fulfilling. I don’t want that anymore.”

I feel a metaphorical light bulb goes off in my head.

I know she doesn’t mean to, but fuck, she hits me right where it hurts. She’s called that exactly right. This is something that I’ve actually realised and known for a while, especially after seeing my best mates being the happiest they’ve ever been after they found their women. There’s not an ounce of regret in what I did though, because just like my girl right here said, there’s nothing wrong with that. There was a time when burning my way through all the hot women in LA and having them take turns warming my bed had its appeal, but not anymore.

Maybe this is why I’ve been feeling unfulfilled lately. I know I’ve got a great career, more money than I could ever need in a lifetime and endless selection of gorgeous women to warm my bed every night. What more could a man possibly ask for, right? But at the end of the day, it’s just me in a monstrosity of a house that I call home.

Maybe deep down I know I don’t want it to be just me anymore.

“I think I’ve actually known that for a while, but the way you point that out, I think it’s drilled home now,” I admit as I face her.

“What do you mean?”

“That casual, meaningless sex without something deeper isn’t very fulfilling,” I say with a smile. “I mean, yes what I did was fun, but then I look at my best mates and see how happy they are with their women. Of course I rib them good because hey, that’s my job as their best mate…”

She laughs.

“...but that doesn’t mean I never look at them and think, fuck, I want that one day. Maybe the idea didn’t really appeal to me because I had never found the right person, who knows. But I swear I don’t want just sex with you. I want more. Do I know what I’m doing? Fuck, no. I haven’t even been on a proper date in years. But I do know that I genuinely want to get to know you better, Doc, that is if you give me the chance.”

She gives me a dopey smile when she asks, “you mean all that?”

“I really do,” I nod solemnly. “Now let me prove it to you. Go on a date with me.”

“Tell you what,” she begins, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “If you go back on the ice and win the game, we can go to The Owner’s Box when you’re done to celebrate just like the other night. And if you behave, I’ll give you my number this time.”

“Want me to behave, huh?” I say teasingly with a waggle of my eyebrows. “Don’t fancy a bad boy?”

“Oh I actually have it bad for bad boys,” she smirks. “My favourite character in Harry Potter is Draco Malfoy.”

“Okay, I’ve got a counter offer,” I say as my laughter dies down. “If I get MVP tonight, which I’m pretty sure I will since you said it yourself that I’m on fire tonight, you give me your number straight away after the game and let me take you out to dinner. I’m thinking seven tomorrow night.”

Another roll of those gorgeous eyes that twinkle slightly at me. “Pushy, aren’t ya?”

“Only when I want something,” I tell her with a grin. “And I want you.”

“So do you want me or do you want to go out with me?” She asks slyly, tilting her head to the side.

“You gonna kick my balls if I say both?”

“I admire honesty,” she murmurs softly in that sexy, husky voice that seems to flow through my body and straight down to my dick.

“Hey boyfriend and girlfriend,” I hear Matt chirps from the doorway and my spine stiffens involuntarily. His shit-eating grin doesn’t lessen a bit even when I give him a glare. “Hate to steal your man, Doc, but the game is starting again soon and we kinda need our favourite asshole right here.”

“You two break a leg,” she chuckles. And then as an afterthought, she adds, “just so we’re clear, I don’t mean that literally.”

—

Manhattan Beach’s high-end strip of boutiques and restaurants are hugged by the beach on one side and some of California’s most expensive real estate on the other. It’s southern end blends seamlessly into smaller Hermosa Beach, which is similarly quiet but has a tight concentration of bars and restaurants near the town’s pier that attract bar-hoppers at night and sun-bleached dropouts during the day.

The Kings players’ houses are scattered evenly across the two towns. Some of us are clustered within a block or two of several teammates; others sprinkled little more than a mile or two away. All but one of the first-line players live in Manhattan Beach though, and we can easily walk or ride a beach cruiser to everyone else’s house.

YN lives in Silver Lake, and the drive to pick her up takes me about forty minutes. I know she must make a pretty good bank being an ER doctor, not to mention that she works at two places, but her house doesn’t scream that. It’s rather tiny, I’m betting not more than seven or eight hundred square feet max, and there’s not much of a porch but on the outer edge is a hanging basket of flowers.

There’s no doorbell so I rap my knuckles on the door. Flecks of peeling paint get knocked loose and fall to the concrete porch.

“Coming,” I hear her yell from inside and I can imagine her plopping in an earring, grabbing her handbag, and wondering if she turned the curling iron off. She sounds frazzled and rushed and I can’t wait to fucking see what she looks like when she opens the door.

And there she is.

She has a black dress on, and it’s not little but it’s spectacular. The neckline of the dress skims just below her collarbone so no skin or cleavage is exposed, but it doesn’t matter because the narrow waist and flared hips, all cocooned in black is sexy as shit. The hem of her dress comes down below her knees and the dress is so well fitted that I know there has to be a slit up the back so she can walk.

“Good grief you’re a sight for sore eyes,” I mutter as I let my eyes roam down and then back up again to find her smirking at me.

She’s got an off-white clutch bag tucked under an arm, and her head is leaning to the side so she can put her last earring in, exactly as I’d imagined.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” she says, still smirking at me. I’d worn my best suit tonight in black with black shirt underneath and no tie. Glad she likes what she sees.

I step back so she can lock her door, and she turns to me as she tosses her keys in her clutch. I hold my arm out to her and ask, “ready?”

She nods and smiles as she curls her fingers in just below my biceps, then I escort her to my car.

I’m taking her to this new restaurant that both Alex and Matt recommended when I asked them last night for the finest restaurant in LA. It had been so long since the last time I took a woman out for a proper date, so I knew I needed to ask my mates and that they would have the answer. They both swore by this place called Apron, but then told me it took at least two weeks to get a reservation. Luckily though Alex had booked a table for him and Sloane tonight, and they gladly gave me the reservation. Sure I had to take a good deal of ribbing from my teammates and their women last night at the bar where we celebrated our win, but I knew it would be worth it.

The drive to the restaurant is short, only about ten minutes. And we lapse into the same easy conversation right away, just like we did the other night at The Owner’s Box. Today was my day off and I did absolutely nothing so I’ve got nothing interesting to tell, but she had plenty of exciting cases at the emergency room today, which included a toddler swallowing a penny.

“Holy shit, how did you get the coin out?” I ask her.

She laughs. “You don’t take it out. You’ve got to let the kid pass it naturally.”

“He can do that?”

“Well,” she begins. “I did take an X-ray first to make sure that it was small and could pass safely.”

“Okay, okay, okay… what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had to remove from a patient?” I ask her with childish curiosity.

“Honestly, I think I’ve removed everything on the surface of the earth,” she snickers. “Coke bottle, tapeworms, coins, candles, but the strangest has got to be a stuffed animal. It was a Curious George doll, and… let’s just say that he’s no longer curious.”

“You’re joking right?” I bark in laughter as I park my car. We’ve arrived and I swear that was the shortest ten minutes of my life. “I mean… who does that?!”

“I wish,” she says with a wrinkle of her nose. “You’d be surprised if you know how many weirdos out there.”

I’m still chuckling as I exit my car, then I walk over to the passenger side to get her. I hold my arm out to her, and her hand so very easily slides into the crook of my elbow.

“You don’t think I’m one of them, right?”

She gives me a playful shrug. “Well, I don’t know, you might be a weirdo... I mean, I don’t know you well enough yet.”

I give her a smart-ass smirk. “Let’s remedy that then.”

—

“How’s that one?” I ask her as I finish a mouthful of this chocolate thingy. It was a chocolate ball concoction the waiter had poured more hot chocolate over, which then melted the ball to reveal a raspberry chocolate torte inside. She had a bite, but it was too rich for her. I agree though, it was a lot of damn chocolate.

“You’ve got to try this,” she says, spearing the lemon meringue pie with her fork, top it with a little bit of pine nut ice cream and holding it over the table to me.

It’s a completely intimate move and one that I didn’t expect from her tonight. I mean, she was reluctant to go out with me in the beginning and needed some convincing, so I expected her to be reserved and cautious. But hell I’m not complaining.

I lean in and let her feed me the dessert. The flavours explode on my tongue and I think that’s the best we’ve had tonight.

I don’t normally indulge in dessert, but they all sound good so I told her we should order all the ones we like the sound of. Which was most of them except that cucumber mousse and pickle ice cream because those sound like disasters on a plate.

“Good, huh?” She asks with a smile.

“Really good,” I tell her. “I think I like that one best.”

“Finish it then,” she says as she pushes the plate towards me. “I can’t possibly take another bite. I’m stuffed to the brim.”

“Alright,” I say with a chuckle as I pull the plate closer to me. “So, when are you free again so I can take you out to another date?”

She chuckles. “We’re not even finished with this one.”

I roll my eyes at her, then I ask, “are you having a good time?”

Her smile turns dopey and I know she’s just as smitten with me as I am with her. “This is definitely the best first date I’ve ever been on.”

“If we were finished, considering how things have gone, would you go out with me again?”

“I would.”

“Good,” I say with an emphatic nod. “So, weekend or weekdays? When will it work best for you?”

—

I slow the speed on the treadmill, taking me down from a brisk run to a slow walk so I can cool down. Normally I like to run outside in the morning, but I woke up late this morning and we had a team skate scheduled at ten, so I figured I’d just do my workout afterwards at the arena.

Only a few of us actually have a gym membership outside. Most of us prefer to work out at the arena because not only is the equipment better, but we also have an abundance of teammates to work out with and that’s always nice.

I walk for about five minutes to cool down, then I turn the machine off and wipe my face with a towel. I grab my phone and water bottle and turn for the barbells, as today I’m working my chest and shoulders. Mitch and Marcel are already lifting, both defensemen who tend to focus on brute strength versus speed and stamina, so I’m not surprised they didn’t go for the treadmill. I also see Matt there, and I bet Alex will join us too after he’s done cooling down.

“Have a nice run, princess?” Marcel asks dryly as I set my stuff down near the bench press.

“I’m not the one who has to prove my manhood by how much weight I can lift,” I return with a sly grin.

“Yeah, well, your manhood is in a dry spell,” he says as he loads some weight onto the bar. Pre the hot doctor, both Marcel and I were the only single guys in the first line. He’s just as much as a player—on and off the ice—as I was, but now I gladly pass the title to him.

“Not true,” Matt quips with a grin. “He went on a date last night.”

“No shit,” Marcel turns to me in astonishment. “With who?”

Before I can even answer Alex throws a quick glance at us, flashes a shit-eating grin, and yells from the treadmill, “the new doctor.”

“But I saw you two got pretty cosy at The Owner’s Box last week,” Marcel says, as if he’s still confused as hell.

“Well yeah, she was cool, so I took her out again,” I say firmly.

“Dude, what’s wrong with you?” He blinks at me. Eyes all round and not comprehending. “You never look at the same woman twice.”

“So?” I ask, playing dumb.

“Ooh, I get it,” he says with a smirk. “Pussy that good, huh?”

“Hey,” I cut in with a warning. “I’m not there yet.”

They all suddenly stop whatever they’re doing and turn to me with raised eyebrows. Yes, Mitch included, which I’m actually quite surprised.

“Whoa, hang on,” Marcel says. “You haven’t tapped that yet?”

“You’re serious?” Matt looks at me in disbelief. “Not even last night?”

“Dude, I gave you that reservation last night to give you the opportunity,” Alex says as he walks towards us. “I was genuinely worried about your balls.”

They’re still looking at me confused, but Adam howls with laughter. “Don’t listen to these pigs. Rachel and I took it real slow at the beginning of our relationship too, and I got to tell you, the anticipation was half the fun.”

It’s true. I’m in no rush with YN because I know we’ll get there sooner or later. I can be patient when I want to be, and right now I honestly want to. I want to prove to her that when I said I wanted to get to know her, I meant her as a person and not just carnally.

I could tell that I confused her last night when I dropped her off at her doorstep after our date. I gave her nothing but a soft, brief kiss to her cheek, then told her to get inside, lock up and get some rest. Sure, she was confused for a few seconds, but the smile that I got after she realised that I really did want to take things slow was so much more than worth it.

“So you think this thing with the hot doctor is going to go the distance?” Matt asks me.

“I do,” I say confidently. I’m not dumb enough not to realise that she hasn’t fully let her guard down yet for whatever reason. Maybe she’d been badly hurt in the past, maybe it’s my past that causes her to be a little bit sceptical, I mean... let’s be honest, I was a player through and through. But that doesn’t scare me though, because I know I’m in it for the long haul. So yes, I can say it with confidence that this thing between us is going to go the distance.

“Well, if you fuck it up, I’ve got the first crack at her,” Marcel says with a salacious grin. I don’t think twice before I grab my wet towel and throw it at him. It hits him right in the face, and my teammates howl with laughter.

All this talk about her makes me want to see her again. I’ve secured a second date last night for next Wednesday since that’s when both of us will be free, but that’s still four days away and I can’t wait that long. So I pull up my phone and type out a quick text to her.

Hey, what are you doing today?

I grab my water bottle and take a slug. Before I put my water bottle down, I already got a response. I need to go and get a new bed frame. Really can’t stand this old thing anymore.

I can’t help but chuckle. She did tell me last night about her bedroom set which was apparently really old, but she couldn’t get rid of it since it’d been in the family for a few generations and her grandmother gave it to her when she bought her house.

Want some company? I quickly type.

She’s just as fast in her response. You want to go with me buy a bed frame?

Well, yeah. I’ve finished the team skate this morning and will be done with my workout soon. I’ve got nothing to do after and I want to see you. I reply.

Alright then. She texts me back within a minute. But I’m on-call though so I can be called to the hospital any time.

Doesn’t matter, I still want to see you. I text her back. When can I pick you up?

Give me half an hour.

Perfect.

—

I’ve bought three houses in my twenty-seven years of life; the one I currently live in, one in Toronto when I was still with the Leafs before I got traded to the Kings and one for my mum back in London. And yet not once have I ever gone on a furniture shopping.

Until today.

That was something I never in a million years would have dreamed to do, simply because I hated shopping with a burning passion. Hell, I didn’t even buy things for my own house because I paid the previous owner to leave everything behind. That kind of thing was honestly just something that I would have never taken the time for.

And yet, in shuffling through my memories, I really can’t remember having such a great time before. All I know is that I don’t want the day to end, and I also know that it has everything to do with the company.

I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, and technically we’ve only been on one date even though we saw each other quite often at the arena. But there was nothing odd when my hand would find its way to her thigh, or when she’d drape her arm across my shoulders so her fingers could play with my hair as we cruised along from one furniture shop to another. I love that we’re at ease with each other as if we’d known each other forever, not to mention that she’s also one of the easiest women I’ve had the pleasure of talking to in a long time.

Sadly though, it had to end when she was called to the hospital. Luckily, it was just in time after she chose a particular bed frame that she liked. It’s a classic canopy bed in live-edge oakwood with a brushed brass iron base, and I felt like a pig because even as we were still at the shop, I was already thinking about which ties from my collection would work best.

They offered same-day delivery since they had it in the storage, and since she was needed at the hospital, I offered to wait for the delivery at her home for her. She agreed, so she gave me her key after I dropped her at the hospital.

And here I am. Sitting on her bedroom floor trying to build this bloody nightmare because apparently they didn’t offer assembly service. I’ve been at it for an hour and a half now. Okay, no, more like an hour and ten minutes because I spent about twenty minutes fixing the sink in her en suite. I noticed the faucet was leaking, and I needed to step away from that bloody bed for a little anyway.

Now I don’t have another excuse, so I’m back on hammering one of the bazillion nails into the wood. I’m so focused on the task that I didn’t realise YN is home until I hear her chuckling as she walks into her bedroom and say, “you know, that is the kind of pounding that’s supposed to happen after you’re in the bed.”

I can’t help it. I fucking throw my head back and bust out laughing. “Sod off.”

“You don’t have to do it, that looks complicated. I’ll just hire someone to put it together tomorrow,” she says with a sweet smile. “Just get up and go sit on the couch. I just need to go to the bathroom real quick and then I’ll join you.”

“Yeah, that won’t do, Doc,” I say firmly. “I’ll still finish this bloody thing even if it kills me.”

“Stubborn,” she quips affectionately with a roll of her eyes as she heads towards her en suite.

“Smart-ass,” I reply with my eyes pinned to one of the million pieces of her bed frame, also with affection.  

“Harry?” She calls out from her en suite.

“Yeah?” I answer, when I look up, she’s leaning against the doorframe and looking at me confused.

“Am I crazy or did you actually fix my sink?” She asks with an arched eyebrow. “Because I swear the faucet still leaks a little this morning.”

“Yeah, I did,” I say with a wave of my hand. “I needed to walk away from this for a minute and when I went to your en suite, I noticed it leaked. Not a big deal though, took me only about fifteen minutes.”

“Well, good to know that if you ever quit your day job, you have a career in plumbing,” she snickers. “But seriously, you didn’t have to do that, and you certainly don’t have to finish that.”

“It’s what any boyfriend would do, Doc,” I say with a nonchalant shrug.

“You’re not my boyfriend.”

“Yes I am,” I roll my eyes. “I took you on a date last night and I’m taking you out again on Wednesday. I’m not seeing anyone else, so that means we’re dating. And technically that makes me your boyfriend.”

“That’s ridiculous,” she sputters but I can see the amusement twinkling in her eyes. “Besides… I might be seeing someone else.”

“You’re not,” I say with relative certainty.

“How did you change just like that is beyond me,” she murmurs, the appreciation in her voice evident.

I let out a chuckle. “Just get your butt in there and go chill on the couch after. I’m pretty sure I’ll be done in about half an hour, then we can order something for dinner.”

“Yes sir,” she says with a mock salute, which makes me snort.

—

An hour later, her bed is finally built and as I walk into her kitchen I see her putting the plates on the table. It smells phenomenal here, and I’m surprised when I look at the table because how the hell did she manage to cook all that in an hour?

I take advantage of her back facing me by putting my hands at her hips and pressing my chest onto her back. I nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck and it takes everything in me not to kiss her there. The combination of her perfume and the faint smell of antiseptic is sexy to me. So I can’t help but hum and mumble, “smells delicious.”

“The chicken?” She murmurs.

“Among other things,” I reply softly.

She chuckles. “Come on, let’s dig in while it’s still hot.”

I take a seat in front of her before I select a drumstick from a plate of fried, spicy goodness and put it on my plate. There’s something about the fact that YN made it that makes me believe it will be the best chicken I’ve ever had. Today will no doubt go down as one of the best days ever, which I seem to think a lot when I’m around this woman.

As she dishes me some salad, I honestly can’t wait anymore and take a bite of the chicken. Her eyes snap to me when I let out a groan.

“Good?” She asks with a grin.

I can’t help but let out another groan of approval as I take another bite. “Damn, Colonel, you never told me you make a mean fried chicken.”

“I’m not just a pretty face,” she shrugs smugly.

“Or a fine ass,” I tease. “If you want to quit your day job you can totally open up a fast food chain. Your fried chicken puts KFC to shame.”

She laughs as she cuts some cornbread and puts it on my plate. “Now try this, I make a mean cornbread too.”

“Mmm,” I say in pleasure as I take the first bite.

“Okay, you need to stop with the sexy moaning,” she grumbles with a tiny smirk before she turns back to her dinner. “You’re so bad. I think you’re trying to take advantage of me.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” I laugh. “And besides, you’re just as bad.”

“True,” she replies with a sly smile. “I can be bad too.”

“But just how bad are we talking here?” I ask with a smirk.

“Not bad enough to sleep with you tonight,” she says before she takes a sip of water. After she swallows, she adds, “but totally bad enough I might get frisky with you.”

I give her a mock groan and look up to the ceiling. “A tease. I’ve saddled myself with a tease tonight.”

She laughs.

We talk about what she did at the hospital today as we eat, and her job in general, and it never fails to thrill me the things that she can do. She’s a jack of all trades when it comes to medicine, needing to be able to diagnose and stabilise, often in pressure-filled situations where time is of the essence. I can’t even imagine having the responsibility of someone’s life in my hands like that, and yet she seems to be able to leave it all behind. She talks openly and often with humour about her work, but she also admits that sometimes she can’t help but bear the burden of death too when her skills just don’t make a difference.

I admire her so fucking much. Never admired a woman before, but in fairness… I never looked too deeply at them.

I’m seeing YN through unfiltered eyes and I like everything that I’m seeing.

—

Something is squirming in my arms and it wakes me up.

I tighten my arm around it in response to the movement and pull it back slightly against my body.

Wait? What?

Sleep.

Couch.

We fell asleep on her couch while watching a film.

It all comes back in a rush. Our totally awesome conversation over equally awesome food she cooked that I couldn’t stop raving about all night. I had three pieces of chicken by the way. We talked more about our backgrounds, me growing up in Cheshire and her childhood in South Carolina. We had a few beers, and when she asked me if I wanted to stay a bit and watch a film or something, of course I said hell yes.

The fact that she asked made me smile, because it meant that she was having a good time too with me. So we ended up on her couch watching Jaws, and I liked that she didn’t even hesitate when I lay down on her couch, pressed my back against the cushions and patted the area in front of my hips. I’m pretty sure she can see the devilish gleam in my eyes when I said, “come on… let’s cuddle.”

“Wow… Harry Styles, big bad hockey player, shameless flirt, total panty dropper. Didn’t peg you as a cuddler.”

“I’m a big teddy bear, honey,” I said with a grin and open arms.

She fell asleep first, and I know I should’ve left but the slightest movement from me would definitely wake her up. I know she must be tired so I decided against it and closed my eyes instead.

“Morning,” she says in a husky, raspy, ‘I just woke up’ voice and it’s sexy as fuck.

“Morning,” I reply, my own voice is still rough with sleep. I wonder if she thinks that’s sexy too. “You slept good?”

“Mhmm,” she hums softly, but then immediately groans as she glances at the clock above the telly. “Ugh, I have to be in the hospital in about an hour.”

She then tries to extricate herself from my arms, but I pull her back in close and nuzzle her neck as I point out, “you work a lot.”

“Ha, tell me about it,” she says with a dry laugh. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my job. It’s just I wish I could sleep for three days straight sometimes.”

“Do you even have a day off in the week?” I ask curiously.

“I do,” she answers with a nod. “It was actually my day off yesterday, but I was filling in for a colleague.”

I loosen my hold and let her sit up in front of me. “Go get in the shower, I’ll make us both a quick breakfast.”

“You can cook?”

“Well, if I give you food poisoning you’re heading to the hospital anyway,” I chuckle.

In the kitchen, I grab some eggs and a pack of English muffins from her fridge. A quick breakfast sandwich sounds good, and portable just in case she needs to eat on her way to the hospital. I crack open a couple of eggs, scramble them with a fork and add salt and pepper while my skillet heats up. I put a bit of olive oil in the pan before I toss the English muffins into her toaster to crisp, then set coffee to brew in her Keurig. I’m moving around her kitchen as if I was born here.

By the time I pour the eggs into the pan, she walks out of her bedroom in her scrubs. I smile and nod at the Keurig as I say, “coffee’s ready.”

“And damn, you’re hot in those scrubs,” I add with a grin, giving the eggs a last scramble before pulling them off the heat.

“You’re joking right?” She says, wrinkling her nose as she grabs the milk from the fridge and turns my way, letting the door swing shut on its own.

“I’m serious, Doc,” I say with a smirk. “I wouldn’t mind getting a thorough exam from you. Preferably in your new canopy bed though so I can tie you up after for a payback.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s eight in the morning,” she laughs and I snort in return.

She then pours some milk in her coffee, pulls the cup to her mouth, and blows across the steaming surface. Her eyes meet mine over the edge of the cup as she takes a tentative sip. “Are we still on for Wednesday?”

“Of course,” I say with a confident smile.

“What have you got planned?”

“Well, you’ll have to wait and see,” I tease her. “Just to warn you though, I may or may not gonna put my hands all over you.”

I don’t tell her that by putting my hands all over her, I mean on the ice to keep her from falling since I plan to take her ice-skating on the team’s practice rink. I don’t want to spoil the surprise, and besides, I’d be lying if I said I never thought of other ways too. The way she’s looking at me right now assures me that she does too, and well, that’s good.

We can compare notes on that later when we get there.

—

Blinking at me with a sleepy smile on her face, YN stands up from my couch. I walk up to her and she pushes me down into her seat, and then crawls onto my lap.

This is nice.

Our date on Wednesday was amazing, and as we walked inside, she turned to me and asked, “so this was your big plan to put your hands on me?”

I just laughed in response, and I did have to put my hands on her quite a lot in the end since she didn’t know how to ice-skate. Fuck if I’m complaining though.

Now we’re snuggled up on the couch at my house with full bellies. Last weekend she cooked me amazing food, so today, I wanted to impress her by cooking a roast dinner and introduced her to Yorkshire pudding. Sure, I was on the phone with my mum the entire time so she could give me directions, but I only almost burnt down my kitchen once so I’d call that a success.

I lean forward, which pushes her slightly to the edge of the couch, then I reach an arm over her and grab a packet of KitKat from the coffee table. I’m glad when I learnt that it is actually her favourite chocolate too, because KitKat is elite and it’s good to know we’re on the same page.

“Want another?” I ask her.

“No,” she groans. “I’m so full.”

I chuckle and awkwardly unwrap the chocolate. Awkward because I have to open it in front of her face since I have my arms around her, and once I got it opened, I hold the naked little chocolate bars in front of her mouth and tease, “want a bite?”

She shakes her head.

I wave it under her nose and I guess the smell of the chocolate changes her mind because then she says, “okay, a little bite.”

I break the bars and feed one of it to her, letting her take a bite and then chucks the rest in my mouth. We chew silently as we watch Marlin looking for Nemo, and I sigh in contentment when she tucks her face into my neck and drapes one arm across my chest.

It takes no more than ten minutes before I notice her breathing has slowed down and she’s fallen asleep. I rest my cheek on the top of her head and continue watching these fishies. I’m a little drowsy from all the food, but I resist the urge to fall under. For now, I just want to savour my existence at this moment because as Dory says to Marlin, “I look at you and I’m home”, I truly realise that’s how she makes me feel.

I’m sitting in my house, but for once, it doesn’t feel empty anymore. I just had a wonderful meal where we talked and joked and flirted, and now I have a gorgeous woman who I’m crazy about curled up on my lap.

There is absolutely no other place I’d rather be right now.

—

“Dude, you’re so fucking whipped,” Alex says as he punches me on the shoulder. I jerk slightly and reluctantly take my gaze off YN to look his way.

“What do you mean?” I ask as I take a swig of my beer and promptly look back at my girl. She’s standing just ten feet away, sipping on her own beer and talking animatedly with Sloane and Brynne. We’re at The Owner’s Box tonight having our first triple date, and I’m having a brilliant time. The only thing better would be if YN would quit chatting with the girls and get her sweet ass over here to sit next to me.

“Fucking hopeless,” Matt mutters and Alex snickers.

I blink and turn to look at them. “What? Why am I hopeless?”

“Because you can’t fucking take your eyes off of your girl for more than two seconds,” Alex jeers at me. Then he leans in towards me and murmurs with a mocking sneer, “pussy.”

“Bollocks that,” I say haughtily. “I can take my eyes off of her longer than that.”

“Good,” Matt says, handing me an empty beer bottle. “Go get us some more beer.”

“Assholes,” I say with good nature and head towards the bar. Stopping beside my girl, I kiss her on the temple. “You girls want anything else to drink?”

Sloane and Brynne shake their heads, smiling coyly at me as they watch my uncharacteristic display of affection. I’m immensely pleased when YN smiles at me and rests her hand on my chest. “I’m good, but thank you.”

“Be right back,” I tell the girls, and then I set out to prove Alex and Matt wrong.

I swivel my gaze back to Matt and Alex, and I give a sheepish grin when Matt mouths the word pussy at me. I flip him off and head towards the bar, intent on not looking back at my girl for at least the next few minutes it takes me to get the beers.

“Excuse me,” I hear and feel a tap on my shoulder. “Harry, can we get an autograph and a picture?”

As I turn around with a warm smile in my place, the word sure is out of my mouth before I even see who’s asking. I’m met by a vision of holy hotness as two women stand there with tight-as-hell t-shirts cut obscenely low and with plenty of silicone boobs pouring out.

Just a mere month ago, I would have whispered a prayer of thanks to the big man upstairs for sending these two my way, knowing well that I’d be banging the hell out of one of them before the night was finished. Instead, my stomach tightens and I glance past them to see YN still deep in conversation with Sloane and Brynne.

I bring my gaze back to the women… a brunette and a blonde, both looking at me with promise in their eyes.

“Do you mind taking your picture with us?” The blonde asks with a bat of her eyelashes.

I give her a quick smile and say, “sure, no problem.”

She steps up to me as she hands her phone to the brunette. I lift my arm to sling it companionably around her shoulders, but she uses that opportunity to press intimately into my side, bringing both arms around my waist and mashing her breasts against my ribs.

“Thanks so much,” the blonde says in a seductive voice. “Can we buy you a drink?”

“No, thanks,” I decline with a smile. “I’ve got some friends waiting for me.”

“An autograph, then?” She asks.

“Sure.”

The blonde digs in her handbag and pulls out a sharpie. She then hands it to me and says, “can you make mine out to Kourtney with a K?”

“You got it,” I say, eager to get this over with because it feels awkward to me to have this woman coming onto me with my girl standing just a few feet away.

“Just sign here,” she says and my jaw drops as she pulls the edge of her t-shirt down her chest, practically exposing her entire right breast to me.

“Uh, you got a piece of paper instead?” I ask her. “I don’t think my girlfriend would like that.”

“You bet your ass she won’t,” I hear my girl quips from behind me and I’m trying my best not to laugh. I like that she immediately snuggles into my side so those women now would have no doubt that I’m totally hers, “wanna go play some pool, baby? Loser buys the drinks.”

“You’re on,” I tell her, Kourtney with a K and her friend are long forgotten. “But just to warn you, I’m really good.”

“Honey, I was practically born on one of these tables with a beer in my hand,” she says smugly, “you’re going down.”

—

“Do you want to come in?” YN asks as she pulls out her keys from her handbag. We’ve just got back from The Owner’s Box and as usual, I walk her to the door.

My tone is low, soft, and barely audible when I say, “Doc, if I come inside tonight, I don’t think I can promise you to keep my hands to myself.”

“I don’t want you to promise me anything,” she replies firmly. “Whatever happens, happens. Now, let’s not dawdle on my porch and get inside. Want some more beers?”

“Whoa, don’t hand me ammunition,” I joke and she laughs. “I’ll take some water though.”

“There’s some water bottles in the fridge,” she says, pointing to the tiny kitchen that sits at the rear of the house, past the living room. “I’ll be right back.”

I get two bottles of water out of the fridge and head back into her living room. I take a seat on the couch and pull out my phone, scrolling mindlessly as I wait for my girl.

When she reappears, she’s wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a white t-shirt. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail and her makeup has been washed off. Her in a t-shirt and tiny shorts is a hundred times sexier than her in literally anything else—yes, including her scrubs—and there’s no stopping my downstairs head from waking up.

“Come here.”

Her eyebrows rise, but I don’t miss the clear interest in her eyes. “Come there?”

I tap my thigh, “right here.”

Her cheeks flush and a little puff of breath blows out of her. With absolutely no hesitation, she crawls onto my lap. Our gazes are locked tight and her eyes darken with intensity. When her chest comes level with mine, and her knees are pressed into the cushion just inches from my crotch, she asks me softly, “you going to finally kiss me?”

“I’m thinking about it,” I tease her as my hands come around her lower back, pressing her onto me.

Fuck, she feels good against me. Just her soft curves and warmth and I’m already starting to get hard before I even lay my mouth on hers.

She looks at me with sizzling eyes as we stare at each other, knowing that once we take this step, our relationship is going to another level.

Leaving one hand on her lower back, I slide the other up and over the shoulder, letting my palm glide up her neck so my fingers can tangle in her hair. She shivers when my thumb strokes her jaw before I cup my hand around the back of her head.

Her hands reach out and circle behind my neck. Then she whispers as she licks her lower lip, “so this is it?”

“This is it,” I tell her, and because I absolutely cannot wait one second longer, I put pressure on the back of her head to lock our mouths together. The first touch of her lips against mine causes pleasure to punch straight through my groin, and the world just absolutely melts away.

There’s nothing else but her.

Lips so fucking soft, tongue tentative and sweet. Her hair silky to the touch and her skin warm as my hand snakes up just under the edge of her t-shirt.

She tilts her head, opens her mouth more and kisses me deeper. I groan and pull her tighter to me. My hand fists tighter into her hair, hampered by the hair tie somewhat but not giving a fuck. Her hips start to rotate slightly, rubbing herself along the top of my thigh. My dick gets achingly hard as she starts to make tiny sounds of need in the back of her throat.

My other hand slips down her back and palms her backside, then I give a tentative squeeze. I think she likes that, because her hips shift forward and she starts to grind her crotch on my leg. I press against her ass, encouraging her to keep moving against me. She does it again and shudders in my arms, so I know it’s hitting her in the right spot.

Pulling on her hair, I break the kiss just enough so I can growl at her, “get yourself off, darling. Right here. On my leg.”

Her eyes fly open and they’re full of fire and sexual need as they stare back at me. Her lips curve up in a wicked smile of acquiescence and I pull her back down to my mouth for a hard kiss.

She rotates her hips in circles, then alternates flexing back and forth. I clench my thigh muscle, wanting to give her as hard a surface as possible to stimulate herself. I slip my hand down the back of her shorts, finding bare skin. I squeeze and push her down on me, helping her to move faster on my leg.

She pants and moans softly as she works herself up. I have to force myself not to push my hand down further between her legs. I’m bound and determined not to go there yet, and besides, this is hot as fuck and completely satisfying to me.

She moves faster and faster, making tiny cries of yearning into my mouth as we kiss. Then she punches her pelvis down hard onto my thigh, going still for a moment before her entire body starts quaking in silent orgasm. I hear nothing but a soft sigh of pleasure escape her lips and slither over my tongue.

Her body goes limp in my arms. She lifts her head, our lips parting, and looks down at me with glazed eyes. I press my lips to her briefly just once more, before I pull my hand out of the back of her shorts and roll her body off me. As I stand up and hover over her for a minute, I see her cheeks flushed rosy and her nipples pebbled hard, even through her t-shirt.

Placing a hand on the couch cushion, I lower myself to her and brush my lips across her forehead. “Get a good night’s sleep.”

“Wait- you’re leaving?” She asks, confusion coating her expression.

“Yes,” is all I say.

“But-”

“I’ll take a cold shower when I get home, no worries,” I assure her with a smile. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“I had a great time tonight, Harry,” she tells me, still looking like a wet noodle on the couch so I don’t think she’ll be getting up anytime soon.

“I did too,” I smile at her over my shoulder as I reach for her door.

It’s in this moment that I’m pretty sure I’m a goner for her.

—

I see the hottest, sexiest, most adorable doctor walking across the darkened parking lot towards me. Well, towards her car. Her head is tucked down and she looks tired. When she finally looks up and locks her eyes on me, the exhaustion melts away and I’m rewarded with a happy, welcoming smile from her.

“You really have to stop stalking me in parking lots,” she quips as she walks closer.

Then closer still until the tips of her shoes touch the tips of mine and she’s offering her mouth to me for a kiss. Obviously, I take it, because who wouldn’t? Her lips are perfect. She tastes like mint gum and smells faintly of antiseptic, and that right there is my favourite combo.

When she pulls back, she tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear and asks, “seriously, what are you doing here?”

“I wanna take you somewhere,” I tell her as I grab her hand and take her towards my car that’s parked the next row over.

“Where?”

“Just get in the car, Doc.”

“You’re being vague,” she says with an arched eyebrow. “Is this where you kidnap me, take my kidney and sell it on eBay?”

“This is where I’ll find a way to occupy that beautiful mouth of yours if you keep asking questions and ruin the surprise,” I tell her and she gives a tinkling laugh.

“Promises, promises,” she singsongs and I just roll my eyes.

It only takes about fifteen minutes from Cedars-Sinai Hospital where she works to the closest beach where I plan to take her for an impromptu picnic date night. We only had to stop by to get some pizza because I already have a cooler with a six-pack of beers loaded in the back of my car. It’s a little too late for sunset, but the purplish black of twilight is lush.

“The beach, huh,” she deadpans. “You brought me out here to seduce me?”

“You naughty girl,” I clutch a hand to my chest and make an exaggerated gasp of disbelief. “That’s indecent exposure that is.”

She laughs as she opens the door of the car and hops out. I do the same, then I open the back door to pull out the pizza, blanket and the cooler with beers inside before letting her help by taking the blanket.

Somehow we have the beach to ourselves tonight, and she points out a nice spot for us to sit. I agree, so I let her spread out the blanket. After both of us have our butts firmly planted, side by side, facing the ocean, I take two beers out and hand one to her.

“Ooh, we’re going fancy tonight,” she says when she sees that I brought microbrews instead of cheap beer.

I chuckle as I open the pizza box and grab a slice of the cheesy goodness that will probably clog my artery, then we talk about our day as we eat. I tell her the funny things that happened at practice today, including a joke that Marcel told us in the locker room which most would probably find insulting, but I know my girl is used to locker room talk and would find it hilarious, and she tells me what she did in the hospital. Apparently, they were so busy today that her lunch break lasted less than ten minutes.

“You never cease to amaze me, Doc,” I tell her honestly. “It’s so cool what you do for a living. Impressive as hell.”

“Thanks, Harry,” she says softly. “That means a lot.”

It’s completely dark by the time we finish our pizza, but the view is still lush since the moon is bright, causing the water to look like it’s covered in floating, crushed diamonds.

We’re silent as we sip our beers, and I love that we can sit in comfortable silence as well as talk for hours. It’s crazy to think that it’s only been a few weeks that we’ve known each other yet I just feel such a strong connection with her. I love that we’re so in tune with each other that sometimes we say the same things and steal lines from one another. We have a similar sense of humour and we can even exchange an inside joke with just a glance.

I loosen my hold of her when she pulls away from my side embrace. Her head swivels to me, and I can see the moon glittering in her eyes. “I owe you an apology.”

“What?” I look at her in confusion.

“I misjudged you, Harry,” she says with a tender smile. “When you asked me out, I outright told you that you’re a player without even giving you a chance to explain yourself. I made an assumption, and that was wrong of me. I’m sorry.”

“And your assumption was right,” I tell her honestly with a light chuckle. “There is nothing to apologise for. It was common knowledge, I was a manwhore.”

She snorts. “Shut up, I’m serious.”

“Me too,” I squeeze her hand. “You didn’t misjudge me, Doc, you knew exactly the type of guy I used to be.”

She has a dreamy smile on her face when she says, “kiss me.”

“No, you come here and kiss me,” I say, and I’m pretty sure she can see my eyes sparkling with mischief.

She rolls her eyes and mutters “fine” under her breath as she plants her knees on the sides of my legs, but I don’t miss the light in her eyes which tells me that she likes the idea.

Closing her eyes, she dips her mouth to mine and now I’m wondering if the two years of jail time and a fine for indecent exposure is worth it if I were to take her right here right now.

—

We’re in New York for two away games in a row, tonight against the Rangers which we won 3-1, and tomorrow night against the Devils. I’m chuffed not only because we won and I played great, but I also had a great day today before the game with my girl. We didn’t do much since she wanted me to save my energy for the game tonight, but we did walk around our hotel and ended up napping on the couch in the room that I share with Marcel.

We all ride on the team bus that takes us from the hotel to the arena and back to the hotel after we finish the game. I wanted her to sit next to me, but for both trips, to the arena and back, she gave me a slight shake of her head and sat with the girls along with the rest of the staff in the front.

When I hop off the bus though, I see her waiting for me with a grin on her face. I kiss the fuck out of her, not caring about my teammates who whistle and yell, “get a room.”

“Which floor are you on again?” I ask her as we enter the lift. I want to walk her to her room just to spend a few minutes more with her.

Yeah, laugh all you want. I know I’m fucking whipped.

“Tenth,” she says, pulling her room key out of her handbag and hands it to me so I can scan it then tap the button on number ten.

“Wanna catch an early breakfast with me tomorrow?” I ask her as we approach her room that she shares with the team’s orthopaedic surgeon, Callie.

“Sure. What time?”

“We’re leaving for light skate practice at 9:30, so we should have plenty of time if we meet down there at 8:30.”

“Sounds good,” she nods as we reach her door.

There’s a handwritten note stuck in between the door and the jamb. She puts her key in the card slot, opens the door slightly, and snag the piece of paper. She opens it up and I look over her shoulder at the note as we read it silently together.

YN,

Marcel and Joslynn are hooking up and they’re in his room which means Harry has been kicked out. I’m going to sleep with Macy instead, so you and Harry can have this room. Unless you want Harry to go sleep with Macy?

No? Didn’t think so.

Have fun you two.

Callie

“This is Alex, Matt and Marcel’s doing,” I tell her with absolute certainty as she twists her neck to look at me. “I’ll just get an extra room for tonight.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she chuckles. “You can sleep here. We’ve spent the night together before.”

“Yeah, but that was different. We fell asleep on the couch, it wasn’t intentional,” I point out. “I don’t trust myself sleeping in the same bed with you, Doc. I’m not going to be able to help myself.”

“Well, good,” she says, smiling mischievously. “Cause I’m done wait-”

That’s as far as she gets before I push her through the door, backing her into the room. My mouth hits her only moments before her legs hit the edge of the bed and we both go tumbling onto it.

This is when we realise there’s a huge box of condoms with 144 packs inside it in the middle of the bed. On the top, there’s another note and I recognise Matt’s handwriting on it.

You’re welcome by the way

“I freaking love your teammates,” she says with a laugh.

I guess I owe those fuckers some beers.

[whythinktoomuch]

stranded in memory

It’s not clear how Lex has managed to pull it off, but he did; he got into Supergirl’s head, and he did it quite literally so as to achieve it quite figuratively, and now Kara Danvers might be lost forever. 

It’s after the second attack—the second time Supergirl storms into the DEO to demand, where are you keeping them?—when they first notice the ugly scar at the base of her neck. 

Red and angry, poorly healed despite living on Kryptonian skin. 

No one manages to get close enough to examine it though, what with Supergirl tearing through metal walls and burning down entire facilities to conduct her frenzied search. 

But whatever it is, the mechanism embedded in her skull has somehow made it so that Supergirl can look Alex Danvers right in the eye and strike her down with heat vision for masquerading as her sister. 

The resulting burns forcibly put Alex on bed rest despite extensive, swear-riddled protest. 

“It appears that Kara’s retained all her memories, but none of ties to reality that would allow her to recognize you,” Brainy concludes to the comfort of absolutely no one. 

“Well, is she even Kara anymore then? Shouldn’t we approach this like we would any other threat?” asks one lone agent, subjecting himself to Alex’s absolute unmitigated fury in the process. 

Lena keeps her distance at first. She’s seen the damage:  

her penthouse somehow upended, 

countless conference rooms and offices at L-Corp torn apart, 

the entirety of National City scrambling for cover as Supergirl makes reckless use of all her superpowers. 

And she knows that Supergirl must be looking for her too. Lex wouldn’t have done any of it, without the guarantee that Lena would end up coerced into direct involvement. It wouldn’t be worth it otherwise. 

And so, she locks herself away in an underground, lead-lined panic room, built for such an occasion. 

Because... well, if it’s true that Supergirl almost killed her own sister, how could Lena ever hope to survive the encounter? She wasn’t even on good terms with the Supergirl that would remember her in the first place.  

But then, things grow darker and even more dire. No one’s died yet, by some unbelievable stroke of luck, but there have been many close calls. So many that the city has started losing faith in their own Girl of Steel. 

And Supergirl has been winding down, slowly but surely, her physical condition unable to keep pace with her inner drive. It won’t be long before some branch of the government or another successfully shoots her down, but there’s only one that will never go for the kill shot. 

So, Lena finally resurfaces and joins forces with what’s left of the DEO, and gets to work on a kryptonite-powered snare. It almost works. 

Supergirl flies right into the trap, immediately twined by thick cords of sickly bright green wrapping around her body. She starts thrashing against her bonds, growling out warnings in a dead language whenever anyone tries to get close. 

"Okay, this isn’t working, guys,” Dreamer says, after her third attempt and subsequent failure to grab hold of the wrists tied behind Supergirl’s back. “She’s still too strong.” 

But at the sound of Dreamer’s voice, the red disappears from Supergirl’s eyes. She sits up, startled, and calls out, “Nia?” 

They’re all overwhelmed with relief then—Supergirl, and maybe even Kara, included—because at last, Lex’s device seems to have worn off.

But when Supergirl turns around to greet Dreamer, finally face to smiling face, a darkness sweeps back over her features. “You,” she says, her tone strangled with bitterness. “Who the hell are you, and what did you do with Nia?” 

Dreamer frowns, utterly baffled. “Kara, what are you talking about? It’s me... Nia.” But she takes a step too close, and Supergirl headbutts her into the ground. 

A brawl ensues, and Supergirl manages to throw everyone off her and escape by way of ungainly, lumbering flight, still bundled in kryptonite laced restraints against all impossibility. 

They find the mangled contraption some miles away in pieces. 

Nia’s head is very bruised and somewhat concussed, but she thankfully emerges from the medical bay relatively unscathed. 

Ultimately, Lena’s the one who figures it out, by repeatedly asking for the play-by-play of the failed capture and then reviewing the body cam footage for further research. There’s no way to know for sure, of course, but time is definitely running out, with Supergirl now facing an entire fleet of military aircraft armed with kryptonite. So, Lena takes her findings and rushes onto the scene. 

Supergirl is making her last stand, forced into a final corner with her back against the wall, eyes still blazing with heat vision. Until she hears a familiar voice crackling in her ear, the DEO comms whirring back to life. 

“Kara?” calls the voice, and Supergirl becomes a statue, breath stuttering, almost unwilling to believe her own ears. “Kara, can you hear me...?” 

“Lena...” Supergirl says her name like a prayer, a slight tremor starting up in her legs and traveling all over. “You’re okay? Oh god, you’re okay...” 

Everyone starts yelling then—Alex and Brainy and Nia, nameless stiff-lipped military men trying to secure a clear shot at the fallen hero—but Lena heeds none of it as she walks onto the battlefield. Supergirl whips her head around, regarding her approach with suspicion. 

“It’s still me,” Lena says through the earpiece. “Right now, I’m just in the lexo-suit for my own safety.” 

“I... I can’t see your face...” 

“I know, Kara. I know.” 

Lena, now firmly in the way of anyone who plans on taking aim at Supergirl, stops just a few short steps away from her. “Okay, I need you to trust me now, Kara.” 

And Kara, the Girl of Steel now fallen to dust, starts to cry. “Something’s wrong, Lena,” she says. “Something is so terribly wrong with me, and I don’t know what to do...” 

“I know, and it’s going to be okay,” Lena says, her own emotions sealed away behind purpose. “But right now, I just need you to trust me. Do you trust me, Kara?” 

Kara nods right away, one hand roughly swiping at her eyes. 

“Close your eyes.”

Kara draws back, shoulders stiffening, a bright red gathering in her gaze. 

“Kara, it’s still me,” Lena tells her gently. “I can come to you, but you just need to close your eyes first.” 

“Why?” Kara demands. 

“Do you trust me?” 

Kara’s eyes run all over the sleek design of the lexo-suit, swallowing hard when her x-ray vision can’t breach the surface. “It’s you?” 

“It’s me, I promise.” 

Kara shuts her eyes, disappearing the threat of heat vision along with the darkened blue of her sunken gaze. Warnings come flooding through Lena’s earpiece from well-meaning almost friends, but she gets out of the suit anyway. The tell-tale hydraulic hiss of the lexo-suit opening brings a low rumble to Kara’s chest, but her eyes still remain shut tight.   

“All right, Kara. I’m right here, okay?” Lena says, and Kara struggles to keep her eyes closed at the sound of her voice, now unfettered by technology or static. “No, you’re okay, Kara. Everything’s going to be okay. I’m right here.” 

Lena repeats the sentiment a few times as she approaches Kara in a careful stride. The closer she gets, the harder Kara breathes, teeth gritted and grinding in frustration. 

“Hey, I’m here,” Lena says once within reach, and Kara’s hand shoots out, catching Lena around the wrist. It’s a painful grasp, but Lena grimaces her way through it. “It’s me. You can tell... right?” 

“... Yes,” comes the trembling, grateful answer. 

“Your mind’s playing tricks on you,” Lena explains to her, still soft, still gentle. “Lex did something to your brain, and... you’re just having some trouble trusting what you see right now. But we’re going to fix it, okay?” 

“Okay.” Kara squeezes her eyes shut even harder, and finally lets her hand slip off Lena’s tender, bruised wrist. 

As Lena starts unwinding the scarf from her neck, she lets her eyes roam all over Kara’s face; she’s never been quite this close before. It looks a little different at the moment, somewhat worse for the wear. Deep creases in her strong brow, lips worried and worn, ash and blood of innocent bystanders smudged across one cheek, and her eyes... fluttering, but firmly shut. 

All it would take is one blink, Lena realizes. One look, and she could very well lose her life in Kara’s arms. 

Kara’s breath hiccoughs when she feels soft cotton wrapping around her head, smelling of Lena’s sweat and perfume, and covering her eyes. And all at once, she’s surrounded by the people she loves. 

Alex embracing her and tugging her to safety, whispering words of regret and forgiveness into her hair. 

Brainy and Nia patting at her shoulders, squeezing her hands, as they offer all sorts of affirmations. 

But Kara reaches out, blindly and yet somehow all too aware, and manages to snag the hem of Lena’s shirt. She gently, desperately tugs Lena closer. “You’ll stay with me?” 

A warm hand carefully undoes Kara’s grip on the shirt, inviting it instead in a tangled grasp, both firm and comforting. 

“Always,” Lena says. 

(next part here)

[whaleofatjme1920]

The Ends of Hallways (Proxies X F!Reader)

The Ends of Hallways

[Proxies X F!Reader]

[Warnings: slight language]

[AN: Y'all are just gonna have to thank Eris for always sending me the best requests. I don't have favorites,,, but Reader, I have favorites. Also no Kate sorry :( ]

Your face was practically squished against the glass of the car Hoodie had stolen as the four of you pull into the parking lot of woods that brim with the Operator’s energy. You’ve never seen these woods in person - only in dreams. You’ve never even really seen your master in person, once again, like these woods, he too has been confined to your dreams. But you hear him, and often. His voice falls down on your ears like gentle rains that fall from the heavens. He is everything and more. That is why it is so exciting for you to finally be here, so close to him, and to his presence.

“You excited?” You hear your group leader ask.

You nod and press harder up against the glass. “Are we going now?” You’re ready to bounce out of the car and everyone can see that.

He chuckles in response. “What do you think Hood? Time to go?”

The hazel eyed man behind him shoots the driver a look. “Masky, just look at her, she’s gonna break the window if we don’t.” There’s a slight playfulness in his tone that tells you the right hand really isn’t annoyed with you.

“Fair enough,” Masky smiles. He then reaches behind his seat, hand slapping at who used to be the runt’s knee. “Tobes? Tob-Tobes, get up.”

Toby’s eyes shoot open as he lurches forward. “I’m u-u-up, I-I’m u-up,” he yawns as his hands rub tiredly at his eyes. “Are w-w-we here a-alaready?” He asks, the exhaustion still clear in his tone.

Both of the men in the front seats nod. “C’mon, let’s get going,” Hoodie says as he pulls up the lock on his car door before sliding out.

You wait impatiently for Masky to unlock the car then zip out like a bat from hell. You’re immediately at the edge of one of the forest’s many trails and taking in the sights and sounds of your boss’s woods. They’re beautiful, really. The autumn colors bathe the woods in fiery oranges and passionate reds with threads of gold to interlock it all together. The sky is just the slightest shade of blue as clouds cover the sun. There weren’t any people here either - not under the little structures, not exploring, not anyone but you and your comrades.

“Wrong one,” Hoodie says as he closes the trunk to the car before tossing a backpack to Toby, who catches it like second nature.

You whip your head around to see that Masky, Hoodie and Toby are smiling at how excited you are before silently asking you to follow them. “Where are we going?” You ask, eyes wide as you jog up to them.

“Across the field. There’s this cool tunnel of trees we think you’ll appreciate,” Masky replies as he leads his group across the grass. It crunches slightly as the four of you move, like it hasn’t been watered in a long time.

“R-Really?” Toby hums as he puts his hands in his pockets. “You s-s-sure we’re n-not gonna be l-late?” The young proxy gives a slight look to his group leader, eyebrow raised as if he’s sure the Operator is okay with them possibly being tardy.

Masky shakes his head before tapping his temple with his free hand, “he told me it’s okay.”

“He did?” You ask as stars cloud your eyes. The Operator, as you’ve heard so far, is to be feared and respected. He’s like a father you can look at but never touch. He seems so out of your range, like he’s not even visible - not even if you squint your eyes. You wonder what makes you so… interesting… in his eyes. You really don’t think you’re worth all the fuss. Clearly he does.

Masky chuckles before ruffling your hair with his hand, “yeah. I think he finds your enthusiasm endearing.” Masky’s not entirely incorrect. When they first got Toby, the Operator was strangely favorable towards the young proxy as well - maybe because he was hand plucked, special, and therefore deemed worthy of his time. You were similar to Toby, albeit, you accidentally got involved with the Operator. He liked you, chose you, then kept you.

Hoodie whistles slightly as the four of you step into the trees, his gloved hand reaching up to tear off a branch from one of the low hanging trees then swing it aimlessly as his side. “Seems pretty obvious in my opinion,” he whacks Toby lightly with the stick making said proxy laugh. “Looks like Toby isn’t the only golden child anymore.”

“P-Probably not,” Toby hums, a slight melancholy coming into his tone. “Think I-I’ve been losing f-f-favor with h-hin for a w-while.” He glances over his shoulder and smiles at you.

You frown slightly and place your hand on his shoulder, “I don’t think so,” you say. “Just means he has two golden child-s now.”

Toby beams.

You do too.

The group continues to move through the trees, mostly silent save for Masky and Hoodie pointing out little memories from time to time. Things such as some guy named ‘Alex’ chasing them through here, Masky’s waking up with no memory, Hoodie’s nature shots, and everything in between. You learn a lot about the hands of your group from when they were just scared film students to the things they’ve done as proxies here. It’s kind of nice as you’ve never really spoken to them this way before.

When you first came into this life and were placed in this group, the hazing process kicked in like wildfire. Almost every day was a mentally or physically, sometimes both, a draining task and a bonding agent. Authority was not to be questioned and they made that more than clear. Eventually, the hazing grew lighter and lighter until it just… didn’t exist. That was how it went - you were no longer considered naive and starry eyed. Still, authority was not to be questioned, and it’s why you and your comrades have never really talked on this specific level before.

It’s why it’s such a treat that you get to talk to them like this now.

Eventually, the four of you make it to an odd stretch of trees. They tunnel over each other, a lot like a thorny funnel, but they frame the sky so well.

“If the sun was setting,” Masky starts. “It would look like a cradle.”

You take a step back and observe the tunnel of trees, trying to imagine the setting sun. The mental image is pretty. “Will we ever be back here to see it?”

“Oh definitely,” Masky continues. “But uh, the business we’re here for today? Don’t know if that’s meant for anyone but me and maybe Hoodie.”

You look on instinct to Hoodie who nods. “Is that normal?”

“Sure is,” Hoodie says as he takes in the scent of the cooling autumn woods. He knows the group is almost to the limits of the Operator’s realm. “Tell me what you feel right now, Reader,” he says in passing as he flicks the stick somewhere off the given trail.

With a glance around at your surroundings, you attempt to get a feel for the area you’re in. It’s cold, much colder, but the atmosphere still feels a little thick. The further you go into the woods (and by extension the Operator’s bounds to which you don’t even know exist yet), you get that odd feeling in your legs that feels like they’ve fallen asleep. It’s like the physical sensation of static. You try to explain it in words, but they fail. Instead, you allow Hoodie into your thoughts.

“Nice,” he smiles. “Alright, try to ask for permission in.”

“I need to ask for permission?”

“E-Everytime,” Toby begins as he and the others pause. They’re right on the edge of the bubble and can feel it so much stronger than you can. “It’s t-to ensure n-normal humans c-can’t come in,” Toby begins to explain as you gaze around your surroundings, wondering how you’ll even begin to ask. “T-Though, their f-feelings sometimes k-kick into o-overdrive and they e-end up p-piercing through the v-veil on a-a-accident.” He chuckles softly and you know exactly what he’s referring to - you’ve heard tales of the people who get stuck wandering where they shouldn’t: always ends in someone strung up in the pines. “W-We’ve all learned t-to ask p-permission like b-breathing.”

You shoot your comrade a confused glance, wondering what that will mean for you. “I just ask?”

“Kind o-of,” Toby says. “Just l-let your f-f-feelings guide you. She’ll t-t-tell you whether you’re a-a-allowed in or not.”

You close your eyes and begin to hone in on whatever your heart is telling you. It’s a cold feeling, mostly like vines that slip up and down your limbs as they grow upwards and then inwards towards your heart. It’s an odd feeling. Once the static vines pierce through your heart, you physically see a fog roll into the forest around you. It consumes you and your comrades before you remember Toby mentioned ‘she.’ The fog thickens. “Wait, she?” You say as the static begins to leave your system. It feels like you’re tearing through roots as you walk forward.

“He didn’t mean it,” Masky quickly replies as he begins to pull you through the fog. “Good job on asking though. Strong response,” he says as gestures to the fog, his hand swimming through the billowy clouds. “Wives’ tale is the stronger the fog, the more genuine you were in response.”

You wade your fingers through the thick fog as you and the others walk forward, deeper and deeper into the darkness where there was none. “Must’ve had a really genuine response, huh?” You mumble to yourself. The fog doesn’t even feel like normal fog - it feels thick and heavy and leaves slight dew on your clothing as you walk. How interesting.

‘Head talk from here on out,’ Hoodie says as the four of you reach a stretch of woods that feels slightly dangerous.

‘Did you feel it too?’ Toby asks, his hand at his hatchet.

Hoodie nods slightly, his eyes narrowing as he slows his pace so he’s guarding the back. He gives you a slightly concerned look as the fog evens out. Everyone but you knows that they’re in perhaps one of the most dangerous parts of the veil. The Operator’s mere presence is usually enough to deter the things like the Rake from his grounds, but that often means they get trapped here - in the in-between - and lash out on the first thing they sense. The sooner the four of you get out of this dangerous spot, the better.

‘What do you sense?’ You ask, cutting mentally through the rough silence, your own hand moving to your blade.

Hoodie looks like he’s about to answer you before he holds his fist up and the other three of you duck down instantly, dipping below the fog. Just then, some deer begin walking past.

‘Deer?’ You say in a questioning tone.

‘Not just any deer,’ Hoodie begins as the deer slowly nibbles on the leaves and other things. ‘Take a good look at their bodies. They look normal to you?’

You narrow your eyes slightly and get used to peering through the fog as the deer pass. Eventually, you’re able to look at their coats. There’s something off about them, something wrong. Something you can’t quite place. The longer you watch them as they move in front of you, the stronger that off feeling gets. They have every physical part of the deer down but it’s just not right. It’s like their joints don’t fit well beneath their skin. And their eyes… Their eyes are completely hollow.

‘You see it?’ Masky asks as the last of the deer passes by. He glances over his shoulder briefly to see you nod. ‘We’re lucky they didn’t change this time,’ he mumbles, slowly inching forward while crouched against the earth.

‘What would’ve happened if they changed?’ You inquire, moving quietly alongside your comrades.

‘Nightmare fuel,’ Toby finally pipes in. ‘Nothing about them looks right. Big mouths full of sharp teeth, black eyes, too many limbs, like a messed up centipede,’ he finishes, a slight shudder coming into his mental tone.

You notice the other two of your group members nodding in agreement before finally deeming it safe enough to stand up and finally exit the in-between of the veil.

You’re greeted to the sight of a beautiful, rustic looking Germanic mansion surrounded by iron gates that hold honeycomb patterns that trail skywards only to end on sharp peaks that you’re almost certain your boss has spiked people on plenty of times. There’s also flowers of every kind in the front gardens that catch your eyes the moment you step through the grand gates. There’s fountains and topiaires, statues and benches that tell you the Operator drips with style and elegance.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Masky smiles.

You nod, “it’s gorgeous.” The air smells slightly expensive, but mostly sweet. How is it that a place like this can even possibly exist? Around the mansion are autumnal trees, mostly maple, some sycamore and other birch. Scattered on the front lawn are other proxies and some independents, mostly catching up and talking before leaving through the same gates you entered from. Some of them smile and wave as they pass you, others grunt and turn their nose up at you upon realizing you’re the youngest. This place sings with the Operator’s overwhelming presence.

Your comrades continue to watch your amused expression as they lead you to the front doors of the mansion. They’re large and stained glass, slightly gothic in woodwork and tower over you.

“Go ahead,” Hoodie chuckles as he nods for you to open the doors.

You glance back to him, then at the large doors before tentatively placing your hands on their surface. With a small breath, you push them open and find yourself greeted to the most exquisite foyer you’ve ever seen. Large chandeliers hang from the ceiling, sapphires and rubies drip from the fixtures and shine the light beautifully across the marble floors. Gold leaf adorns almost everything that juts out while the huge staircase in front of you beckons you forward.

“Doesn’t seem like he needs us yet,” Masky says as he checks his watch. “Got here earlier than expected, huh?” He lightly ribs Hoodie who rolls his eyes in response. “C’mon, let’s go to the sun room. Don’t wanna wait around in here.” He nods for the three of you to follow.

Toby clears his throat slightly as if to remind the two in charge that you’re still very much here and new.

“Oh, right,” Masky says. “Reader, this is super important, so listen up,” your group leader begins as he turns on his heels to eventually rest his hands on your shoulders.

You raise a brow at his sudden contact. Masky normally didn’t touch you unless what he had to say was important - which really, really didn’t happen often.

“This mansion likes to play off your thoughts, feelings, and logic,” he says, his hand gesturing to the staircase that’s slowly moving directions. You didn’t even hear it begin to shift. “The Operator usually keeps things in line for when he summons you, it’s almost a guaranteed path you’ll make it to him, but,” his eyes go serious. “If it’s just you and you’re moving around, you need to have a place in mind or it’ll accidentally spit you out somewhere totally random. We’ve had people get lost in here because the mansion is slightly playful and weirdly baneful depending on the individual walking around.”

“The Operator has a playful side?”

Masky stifles a laugh before shaking you lightly. “I legitimately mean it, you need to have a place in mind or you’re gonna get lost and the Operator isn’t gonna be happy. By extension, I won’t be happy because I need to come get you.”

“Mhm,” Hoodie nods in agreement. “And you can’t have the thought in passing either, it’s gotta be on your mind until it’s in sight.” After Hoodie’s words leave his mouth, Masky lets you go.

You take all the information in and wonder just what makes the place run. It’s like it has its own personality - it’s playful and baneful? You have to ask it permission to even enter its grounds and it deems whether you’re worthy or not? What kind of power does the Operator even have and why on earth would he even care about that kind of stuff? If he truly wanted his proxies to access him, he’d do it with no hesitation. The humans that would wander into his rooms would just end up tasting someone’s blade.

“Sun room?” Hoodie reminds Masky.

Your entire walk to the sun room you try to conjure a mental image in your head. They say it’s doubtful you’ll get lost so long as you’re with them, but you consider it good practice. When you finally make it to the sun room, you’re pleased to see it’s relatively empty save for a few groups interspersed in the large, window adorned room overlooking a silver lake. There’s a few independents walking around with carts holding different tea time finger-foods and waiting tea sets on every table. Maasky leads you over to one of the tables nearest to the view of the lake.

“So, what business exactly are we here for today?” You ask as you waste no time in pouring yourself some tea.

Masky shrugs, “no idea. He said he just wanted us to come.”

“T-Think he r-really only n-needs an audience w-with them though,” Toby adds before silently thanking you for pouring him some tea as well. “L-Leaves us some t-t-time to chat. Y’know, t-the thing H-Hood hates us d-doing,” he lightly jokes.

Hoodie scoffs and feigns being annoyed, “I only hate you two chatting when we’re in the middle of tearing out some guy’s entrails.”

“Y-Yeah, which is a-all the time,” Toby giggles.

You laugh as well.

The four of you are in a heated argument about something relatively stupid when static overtakes Masky and Hoodie’s hearing. They visibly pause, as if they’re trying to key into something you can’t understand when it suddenly stops.

“Have t-to go?” Toby inquires before taking a strawberry tart and popping it into his mouth.

Both Masky and Hoodie nod.

“Yeah. Keep an eye on Reader, please? We won’t be too long,” Masky replies with a small, tired smile.

Toby flashes the two a thumbs up before the both of you watch them leave, a clear destination on their minds.

It’s not long until Toby gets distracted by some other independents that stroll into the mansion. You recognize the two of them as relatively minor legends - well, maybe not the one with the smile. His name is Jeff.

“So, this is your fresh meat, huh?” Jeff chuckles as he lightly pushes Toby’s shoulder. “She looks a little scrawny. Are you feeding her right?”

Toby laughs and nods, “Masky w-w-would lose his m-mind if you s-s-said that.”

Jeff’s chest rumbles as he laughs. “I’m joking,” he holds his hand up as a sign of truce. “Hope you know you’re running with one of the only decent groups out there, Reader,” he says before picking up his tea cup. It looks slightly comical as he brings it to his lips.

You offer him a smile and nod, “yeah, I know.”

The man to Jeff’s left nods in agreement, “Masky’s really good at what he does. Got one of the best.”

Toby immediately fights the notion (playfully) and the three engage in conversation that’s lively and vibrant all the same. You listen to the three verbally duke it out before you find yourself bored. You can’t just leave though, but you want to move at the same time.

“Toby?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I excuse myself?”

“W-Where to?”

“Washroom,” you reply.

“Do y-you need m-me to a-accompany y-y-you?”

Both Eyeless Jack and Jeff scoff.

“She’s a big girl, let her go,” Jeff says as he nods his own approval for you to go. “You told her about the mindset thing?”

Toby nods.

“Yeah, then she’s good to go,” Eyeless Jack agrees.

You flash the men at your table a smile before getting up. You push in your chair and then make it to the entrance of the sunroom, leading into the halls. You don’t have a set destination in mind. The moment you step out of the sunroom, you feel the air change. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s different. On instinct, you turn your gaze over your shoulder to see the sunroom is gone. It’s just hall and lining the hall are doors upon doors.

Alright, you can work with that! A small smile comes to your face as you begin to walk forwards, allowing your curiosity to bloom. The first door you decide to open is one that’s honestly not that exciting. It was just a storage unit. Another was a study. Then it was someone’s room. Another room. And another. How many residence rooms are there?

You close yet another door and then feel a thought come into your head, taking a seat on your train of thought like a butterfly sunbathes on a flower. She - Toby had mentioned it. And you wondered. You let the thought stay. Before you know it, you’re walking through the halls guided by forces you don’t quite understand, and the further you get into the mansion, the stranger the atmosphere becomes. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s not a normal feeling either. You watch as the light fixtures change from something relatively modern and regress into something more vintage. The dust begins to kick up. Irish lace begins to pepper the ceiling. You notice how the doors change style as well. How strange.

Eventually, you reach a dead end stretch of hall. At the very end of this hall is a singular door that looks weathered, as if it was sunbleached and painted over in oils. There’s an elegance to it you can’t quite place, and like a siren song, you find yourself being beckoned to it. Your proxy instincts kick in like second nature the closer you draw to it. You feel your breathing lighten, your steps as well, and you move towards it with a silence that is unmatched - as if you’re floating on air. You draw closer and closer to the door. It’s so magnetic, and you can’t quite explain why/ But closer still you must be to it.

Your hand tenderly grasps the doorknob - it feels like ice - and you twist it open. You wonder if you should be doing this. A part of you feels like you shouldn’t be doing this, but another part of you says this is what you were meant to see. You push the door open ever so slightly, just enough to be able to see inside, but the door is heavy, almost as if it doesn’t want you to. Like it’s trying to protect you from something further. You wonder if it just wishes to keep its secrets.

It’s gorgeous, it truly is. It puts the rest of the mansion to shame. It looks old - perhaps from 16th century Germany and fit for royalty. Plants of all kinds line the walls. They look like emeralds as light shines through their leaves. The sunlight kisses the flowers that sprout from the stalks. Beautiful woodwork surrounds the windows that are covered in fairytale-esque stained glass pieces. The scent is of something much, much sweeter and warmer than the rest of the mansion. Your eyes then draw to the center of the room, where an ornate table sits. There’s gold leaf decorating its legs followed by symbols you can’t really pin down. A tablecloth that looks like it was weaved from the stars above is the only thing that separates a delicate tea set from the precious mahogany table. The tea smells heavenly from where you stand.

Before you can press into the room, you pause upon seeing slender, pale hands take hold of the tea pot. Your eyes follow upwards to the owner of the hands only to see a woman so much more beautiful than the moon in twilight and the sun in the morning. Falling from her shoulders was golden hair that looked like a sea of amber as it cascaded down near the floor. Flowers were woven into it - mostly snowdrops, baby’s breath and queen Anne’s lace. She’s dressed in something from medieval Europe, and never once does her sleeve touch the table. She begins to pour herself some tea, a honey like hum coming from her being as she pours the sweet liquid. Her eyes flick upwards for but a moment when she hears a bird chirping outside. Her eyes are so dark, there exists no white sclera. They’re so dark, like black holes that hide in the depths of space, but you feel as if she holds the universe inside of them. She’s so beautiful, you’re not sure she’s real. A cat has jumped up onto the table, purring at her. When she smiles, your heart sings.

You want to say hello to her and spend time in her presence when you attempt to open the door some more. It creaks slightly. The hinges are ancient. Before you can say anything, the door is slammed shut, sending you flying backwards. You let out a sound of shock before seeing Toby reaching down to get you.

“What t-the hell a-a-are you thinking?” He hisses as he picks you up, grabbing your bicep and beginning to drag you away from the door that still holds your attention. “You r-really just w-wandered off l-like that?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, attempting to get free of his grasp as he continues to pull you along. No matter how hard you smack at him, he doesn’t let go.

“M-Masky said it’s not s-safe for y-y-you to wander o-off. A-And without m-me? D-D-Did you have a-any cognitive t-t-thought when you w-went out on a l-limb like t-that?” He sounds so heated.

You find he’s bringing you back to the sunroom, undoubtedly going to tell Masky and Hoodie about your misbehavior. “Why are you being so weird?” You retort as you attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. “It’s just a room!” You cry out in an exasperated tone.

Toby only reprimands you louder. It’s a losing game.

You eventually find yourself back in the sunroom. Only, instead of Eyeless Jack and Jeff, you see the deeply concerned and slightly pissed off faces of Masky and Hoodie. They’re not happy to see you, and you’re not exactly thrilled to see you either.

“Take a s-s-seat,” Toby says in a harsh tone as he thrusts you back into your seat.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Masky asks, not even attempting to mask his voice because that’s the privilege of being a proxy. You’re able to reprimand your proxies without anyone giving a care.

“You can’t just go off like that,” Hoodie continues as he furrows his brows. “You could’ve gotten-”

“Hurt? This is the Operator’s mansion, what the fuck is gonna hurt me in here other than himself or you two?”

“That’s it,” Masky points out. “He can seriously hurt you if you snoop where you shouldn’t!” His hands grips at your wrist, tightening to a point of pain.

When you feel tears prick your eyes, Hoodie sighs and puts his hand on Masky’s shoulder, “stop it.”

Masky hesitantly lets you go.

“What did you see?” Hoodie asks with a deep sigh, his posture tensing. He’s really hoping you didn’t see the Operator’s trophy room.

You give your comrades a concerned look, not sure whether you should answer or not when Hoodie raises a slight brow. Damn it. You’re emotionally compromised. He’s seeing what he needs to without your permission.

“That’s… Odd…” He says.

Masky glances to Hoodie. “No.”

“Unfortunately, I think yeah,” Hoodie says with a growing frown. He glances to Toby for confirmation, and upon seeing Toby’s nod, says “yeah,” again.

Masky groans and puts his face into his hands, finding comfort in being buried into himself.

You hold your wrist in your hand and lean back in your chair. “Just… What is it you guys aren’t telling me?” You question, hoping they’d just bite the bullet and tell you.

The group shares a look, debating whether they should even say it or not. When no one says anything, you press them again.

“Come on,” you sigh. “It can’t be that bad.”

“It really could be,” Masky says as he finally releases his face from his hands. “No one knows what seeing it does.”

Your eyes widen before you bark a laugh. “What?”

“No, he’s serious,” Hoodie picks up. “Seeing that door is rare, like, rainbow pikachu rare. Proxies think it’s an omen or a bad luck thing. To see it means a group’s eventual demise.”

You briefly scoff at the thought of proxies being superstitious before you remember some of you can actually cast portals. It’s really not that out of pocket.

“N-No one has e-e-ever found o-out though,” Toby shrugs. “W-We just know t-that the g-groups that h-h-have n-normally e-end in death.” He looks a little uncomfortable as he says the words, like there’s a legitimate truth to what he’s saying even though he’d rather it be utter BS.

“To be fair, we thought it was a rumor prior to you sneaking off,” Hoodie says as he tries to calm down his group.

You take in this information with a small frown. How could something that beautiful be that evil or a harbinger of doom? The thought of it left you perplexed as your comrades continued to lecture you on not wandering off until Masky and Hoodie were called away.

“I don’t know if I feel comfortable leaving Reader here with-”

Toby rolls his eyes, “you c-cant just s-say you want m-me to come with i-instead. N-Not need to insult m-my competence a-a-as a babysitter,” he mumbles before glancing down to his hatchets.

Masky sighs and nods for Toby to follow him out. Looks like it’s just you and Hoodie.

“So,” you awkwardly begin, not really sure what to do or what to say.

“So,” Hoodie hums back. “Anywhere you wanted to go?” When he sees the glint in your eyes, he shakes his head. “Like, a normal place. We’re gonna be here for a while while those two are out,” he chuckles, watching as you visibly deflate.

You allow the question to bang around in your head until you nod with a thought in mind. “The library. I’d like to go to the library.”

Hoodie smiles at that suggestion and finishes the rest of his tea before standing up. He stretches for a moment, then leads you to the hallway your original snooping began. You noticed as his thoughts immediately became clouded with the word and vision of ‘library’ as the two of you trekked the halls. As you walked, you barely recognized any of the doors you passed. They weren’t on your radar, which was odd in your opinion as you had opened a lot of door you probably shouldn’t have.

Eventually, you reach two large oak doors. Hoodie pushes them open and you’re greeted to the sight of a beautiful library. It’s impossibly huge - how could such a place exist in the mansion? You’re well aware it’s a huge place, but the fact that all of this is here… It’s bigger than a downtown city library you visited when passing through Chicago a few months ago. The Operator’s influence is beautiful, isn’t it?

“I’m gonna be in the sci-fi section,” Hoodie says as he nods over to the right wing of the library. “It’s on the second floor.” You notice the spiral staircase that leads to what appears to be a balcony - it must stretch backwards forever. “Check in with me in about 15 minutes. Don’t do anything stupid.” It’s surprising how relaxed he’s being with you. You would have expected someone like Hoodie to be a lot angerier and more observational.

Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, you nod and flash him a thumb’s up before bounding over to the left wing of the library. Nothing is properly labeled, but you get a strong bout of intuition where everything is. Right now, you’re on the hunt for history.

The aisle that holds the history books looks just as old as you would have expected it to. The books here aren’t any you’ve ever seen in stores either - they’re largely from the time period they’re to be representing. Some are more modern, but you get the feeling that they don’t exist anywhere else but under the Operator’s influence. You find a few books that talk about the early history of proxies, some on independents, but nothing to inform you on what you had found.

It’s honestly a little maddening. You check in with Hoodie when you have to - he asks you to list the spines of the books you’re currently looking at - and then you’re back to your fruitless search. You run up and down the halls of the history section looking for anything when you hear static begin to buzz in your heads. The feeling travels upwards like the vines you felt earlier from your heels to your chest. When they claw deep into your heart, you feel a pull. And once again, like a sailor beckoned to the rocks due to a siren’s song, you follow it.

It twists and turns you through the shelves, making you zip past the few proxies and independents that are currently visiting this wing of the library before you’re drawn to a rotunda. You look backwards and see in the distance the front doors of the library. When did this place get a middle wing? It was just straight shelves and a wall with large windows overlooking the rolling hills of the woods. You turn your attention upwards to the ceiling of the rotunda. There’s a large skylight that allows sunlight to cascade down. Around that are gems you don’t even know the name of that weave a mosaic of something positively divine. You allow your gaze to follow the shaft of warm sunlight down, and there, sitting at a table with a book in hand (it looks like a journal) is the Operator himself.

“S-Sir!” You manage to squeak out as you find yourself startled to be in his presence, Heat rises to your cheeks when he looks up from his book to turn his attention to you.

“How did you get here?” He asks, confusion etching his body as he curiously tilts his head.

Your breath hitches. “I’m so sorry,” you apologize, bowing your head almost immediately. “I don’t know how I got here. It just felt like a pull and suddenly I was here? I was in the left wing and looking over history books and I-” you continue to rattle off until the Operator holds up his hand, silently signaling you to stop. You do so as soon as he asks.

“I-. It’s no matter,” he waves off. “Come, sit down beside me.” An inky black tendril sprouts from his back as he pulls the chair in front of him out, allowing you to sit in his presence.

You will your stone-like legs forward and attempt to gracefully take a seat in front of him. It’s a slightly awkward silence before he speaks again.

“How have you been, Miss Reader?”

“I’m alright,” you reply, voice no higher than a whisper.

The Operator hums. “Good.”

Another pregnant pause.

“Child, where is your book?”

“I uh, didn’t grab one?” You answer softly. You can tell the Operator is looking at you with what he can convey to his fullest as confusion. “When I was pulled here I just.. Followed,” you attempt to explain. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

“And what have you done today?” He asks, giving his passing attention to you like a father would.

You bite your lip before steering the conversation towards the room you saw. “I think I met someone.”

“You did, did you?”There’s a passing interest as if he’s saying ‘that’s nice, honey.’

You nod. “She was in a tea room-”

He pauses.

“I found her by accident-”

He makes sure he’s hearing you correctly.

“Her hair was golden-”

He looks up.

“She had plants-”

He’s sitting upright now.

“She had a cat-”

He leans forward.

“Her smile rivaled the stars-”

He’s focusing so intently on you now.

“Her voice was like honey-”

He entirely focused on you.

“She was beautiful.”

The Operator’s ichor pauses for just a moment as he takes in the description of the woman you described. It makes a part of him sing and another part of him sob. He hasn’t heard of her in so, so long.

When you look up, you see the Operator practically leaned halfway over the table and entirely focused on you. It makes you jump. “I’m sorry,” you apologize sheepishly, thinking you saw something you shouldn’t have. “I wasn’t thinking and I uh, think the mansion led me to her?”

The Operator wordlessly nods. “Was she pouring tea?” He asked, voice so much gentler than anything you could ever expect him to conjure up.

You slowly nod. “She was.”

The Operator suddenly slumps down, making you jolt. You rise on instinct to help him when he waves you back down. “Do you realize who you’ve come into contact with?” He asks.

You shake your head. “I’m afraid not, Sir,” you say with slight remorse.

The Operator chuckles deeply - it rumbles his chest and in your head. “You found her.” He could smile, you were sure it would be from ear to ear if he had the correct facial features. “All these years later and you found her.” He emphasizes you like a bittersweet affirmation.

“Who is she?” You ask softly.

Your boss sits back up again. “Someone who loves me,” his tendril sprouts once again from his back and moves towards you. “Someone who loves you,” it taps your nose. “Someone who loves us.” The tendril makes a grand, sweeping gesture.

You take in the words and nod, still not knowing what they mean. Upon seeing your confusion, he decides to elaborate.

“A long, long time ago, in a realm you could not begin to fathom, there was light and there was dark,” he begins, his voice slipping into something akin to someone saying a bedtime story. “I was the light, and that cur we call Zalgo was the dark.”

You scrunch your nose at the sound of his name.

“The dark and the light were born from nothing, and she was beautiful.” His audible smile is actually endearing to hear. “Throughout the years, the light and the dark fought, constantly at each other's throats. It was woven in the threads of history, it had been our birthright. When we came to this place, this planet after being cast from our home - a palace amongst all palaces, a kingdom that rose far above any other, the nothingness came with us. She called herself Liebevolle Frau. She loved her children.” By this point in the story, the Operator has taken the liquids from the coffee cup he drinks from and animated them into the characters for this story.

You watch with stars in your eyes.

“But no guardian is without its favorites, and I happened to be hers.” Liebevolle Frau’s figure was shown sheltering the Operator’s much smaller one. “And this caused a rift that could not be mended through the light and dark. Eventually, the dark waged war on the light.”

It’s a war you’re still fighting to this day.

“In the 1500s, long after this mansion had been built and my power continued to grow, Zalgo had almost wiped us off the face of the earth to splatter out remains across all the five realms. Liebevolle Frau, thought caught off guard,” that would explain the tea, “sheltered me and protected this place and all who resided in it. At the time,” the Operator looks at you. “Independents and proxies had lived here much more commonly than they do now.”

You smile softly.

“Liebevolle Frau’s power had been pushed to its limit in holding back her first born son, and mind, as well as her heart, broke because of it. In her remaining moments of lucidity, she imbued herself, her soul,” the liquids take the form of something fluttering and soft, like a bird, “her everything, and became the place I hold jurisdiction over today.”

Your eyes widen as you think back to the odd feelings you’ve had coming here for today - and Toby’s slip-up.

“I have not been able to find her since the late 1500s,” The Operator explains as the liquids dance back into the coffee mug, the figure of Liebevolle Frau taking a hair longer than the rest. “She lives in everything.”

You’re honestly speechless over everything the Operator has said because it’s so… It’s strangely heartfelt. You’ve never even spoken face to face with your boss and when you do, it’s because some force is guiding you to do so. But if that force felt so alive, it must have meant she wanted you to know.

“Her physical form,” you finally manage to wisp out. “She wanted to be at peace, didn’t she?”

The Operator chuckles deeply. “I would assume so.”

Before you can respond to anything or even come up with another response, you hear both Masky AND Hoodie yelling for you in your head. The jarring difference between your boss’s gentle voice and Masky and Hoodie crying out for blood is enough to make you jump (once again).

Upon seeing your sudden switch in atmosphere, the Operator hushes the voices in your head and calls them to his side.

Toby is the first to show up though, and quickly trailing after him is Masky and Hoodie. They both look ready to reprimand you but upon seeing you sitting with the Operator, nothing but reverence crosses their minds and bodies.

“Good evening, Sir,” Masky says as he bows his head. “Are you well?”

“Thoughtful, aren't you, Timothy?” There’s no animosity or anger in the Operator’s tone, but it makes Masky blush all the same.

A pregnant pause passes.

“I was just speaking with your newest member, Miss Reader,” a pale hand gestures to you. “Come, join us. I could use the company.”

You watch as confused glances get shared between your three comrades before they take a seat beside you.

A pleasant silence passes through the air before a gentle humming that’s sweeter than honey overtakes it like a passing breeze.

[from-a-reckless-writer]

part i 

She comes to with a pounding in her head and the feeling of something being lifted off her chest. 

Literally. 

In seconds, her whole body feels lighter. The next thing she registers is a hand in hers. When she stirs, the hand around her tightens and she hears Brainy’s voice, “Director—”

The moment she opens her eyes, she is met with Alex Danvers; a stethoscope slung around her neck and a small flashlight on hand. In her periphery she confirms that it was indeed Brainy, holding her hand. 

“Lena, Lena, look at me. You’re at the DEO, you’re safe, you-”

“Alex, I know the drill, this is—  what? My 91st time now?” She says dryly as her hand slowly slips out of Brainy’s and her fingers massage her temples; eyes clenched shut. Alex visibly relaxes in relief, “Good. Thank fuck your sarcasm’s still intact,” she says, “But I still have to check you, alright?”

Lena nods and she guesses Kara most likely had harassed her sister just to get her hooked in. If Alex mumbling “-so damn stubborn all the damn time…” under her breath was any indication. 

She’s well aware of the other person in the bed next to hers. The one, that is now also starting to stir into consciousness. Lena had just noticed that J’onn and Nia are in the room as well, near Kara’s bedside. 

She wants to ask how she got here, how Kara found her, how the fuck did a Black Mercy get her? But everything is spinning and her coherence is slowly devolving to exhaustion. Her brain was pushed to its limits with that illusion. 

Which makes panic flare in the back of her head thinking about how Kara had seen her ideal world. 

A world, that her mind had fucking decided should center around her ex. Her ex who just happens to be a superhero. A superhero that pulled her out of her own delusions. 

Oh God, Lena thinks she’s going to throw-up. Alex takes one look at her face and immediately shoves an empty sterile container to her. She dry-heaves unto the bucket as Brainy rubs her back and holds her hair. 

“Fuck,” she whispers as Alex hands her a tissue to wipe her face. “Your vitals are fine. Your brain activity spiked for a few seconds there. But you got out at just the last minute-”

“What the fuck happened, Alex?”

She asks as she tries to sort out all her feelings long enough for Alex to give her a full explanation. 

But it isn’t Alex who answers her. 

“I found you.”

The three words are bullets flying across the room directly shot at Lena.

“Unconscious. On the floor. Black Mercy attached to your chest. That’s what fucking happened.”

Kara sounds like shit.

Was her first thought when she heard Kara speak. She guesses she looks like shit as well, but Lena can’t be certain. Her back was to her as Nia removes the wiring still wrapped around her. Her voice was firm, but Lena knew better. She knows Kara; knows she never really swears; knows when and where Kara uses the Supergirl voice. When she’s scared and she doesn’t want anybody to know. 

“Your pulse was so weak. I- I could barely hear it.”

This second statement is in contrast to Supergirl’s venom. This time words catch in her throat and Lena is fucking thankful that Kara’s back was to her. Because she knows she can’t handle those eyes. But before she could answer, Alex starts to speak, eyes briefly darting to Kara.

Lena doesn’t know whether she should be thankful for the interruption or not. 

“Which is why,” Alex cuts in and making sure to stress her next words, checking that Lena is listening, “I need you to stay here till we find out who did this. And as your doctor I’m saying you need at least 12 hours of rest.”

“What? No, somebody give me my phone. I need to call Jess,” she protests and Alex looks like she’s about to give Lena a piece of her mi—

“Are you kidding me right now? I found you on the floor, thinking you were dead, pulled you out of a parasitic trap and you want to go back to L-Corp? To what? Get killed again?”

This time, Kara’s two steps away from her bed and fuming. It makes Lena...feel...things.

“I have to call Jess—”

“Do you not get it? I spend my days trying so hard not to listen,” She grits out, “ To not to check in on you every single second of every day and then the one time—” Kara’s conviction crumbles, voice breaking, eyes shining.

 “And then,” she falters, voice heavy with emotion and tries to control herself.

“The one time, the one fucking time I decide to break my own rule, what do I hear? I hear nothing, Lena.”

The last part is a whisper. She’s shaking and all eyes are on them now.

“Do you know why? Because your heart-rate was so slow that I couldn’t pick up on it.”

Kara looks like she’s two inches away from imploding. Lena’s heart is pounding and the room falls silent and it feels like it’s just the two of them in the room having a staredown. 

“I— I’m sorry. I—”

I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to care. I’m sorry. 

“Thank you for saving me,” she voices out instead in that calm methodical way she uses when talking in the lab. Amazed at how she sounded because she herself is also less than two inches away from a complete meltdown. 

Kara’s shoulders visibly sag as she holds back tears. Lena knows she should probably say more but... she doesn’t really know what to say. 

She was still processing everything. 

It was so vivid that Lena was half-expecting to see a ring on her finger once she looks down, a stubborn part of her brain insisting that there’s a matching one in a chain around Kara’s neck.

Before Kara can say another emotional heavy statement, Lena turns to Alex instead, “Fine,” she says, agreeing to Alex’s previous order. 

“But I can’t stay here for 12 hours. And also, I need my phone, my tablet and my assistant. I’m helping in the investigation,” she says leaving no room for argument.

Alex looks like she might agree but Kara speaks up again.

“No, no. No, you’re not going near that investigation and you’re staying the 12 hours here,” Kara grunts out, jaw-clenched as Lena looks at her with sharp eyes. 

“You have no right to decide that for me—”

“Not to mention we have to tal— “

They both spit at each other at the same time.

“We have nothing to talk about,” Lena objects and she knows how much of a lie that is, but Kara just won’t fucking back down. 

“Nothing?! You’re calling this nothing?! You’re calling the fact that your ideal world was us married, nothing? You’re telling me—” she trails off and scoffs, pinches the bridge of her nose in disbelief, “You’re unbelievable-”

That was what she meant when she said Kara was two inches away from imploding.

“Supergirl.”

J’onn’s voice seem to bring the both of them back to reality and Lena notices how heavy the air in the room has become, how Nia is standing stiffly at the side, how Alex’s eyes keep flicking between the both of them

“That’s quite enough from the both of you,” J’onn says and Kara whips around to face him, Lena was scared that she was going to deck J’onn for interrupting but Alex also intervenes. 

“J’onn’s right.” She puts a hand on her sister’s shoulder turning her away from J’onn. Looks like she had the same train of thought as Lena. 

“My patient needs her rest. So, all of you get out,” At which Nia nods at her with a sympathetic smile and then Brainy is hugging her whispering, “I’m glad you’re okay.” before leaving the room as well. 

“And that means you too,” Alex emphasizes at Kara, who looks like she’s going to shoot lasers out of her eyes at her sister for suggesting such an incredulous notion. 

But Kara takes a breath, gives Alex a hard look to which Alex merely raises a brow in challenge before taking a step back and speeding out of the room, not sparing Lena another glance. 

Once everyone is gone, Lena collapses back on the bed, letting out a heavy sigh. 

“She changed the timeline, you know. And reality too, I guess. Or at least she tried to.”

“What?”

“Before you two became a thing, before beating Leviathan,” Alex recounts,  “She tried to change the timeline to save your friendship.”

“I’m sorry- What?”

She’s sure she looks pretty absurd with the look on her face right now. Kara did what? Kara did that? How did she not know that? How did she not know Kara literally teared apart at space and time just for her? 

“She struck a bargain with a Fifth-Dimensional imp so she can fix everything. Said she’d rather change reality than face the possibility of having to fight you.”

For a moment she feels she’s going to throw-up again. But then again, after what the both of them just went through, Lena’s not surprised. God knows the lengths she would go through for Kara.  

It feels even more visceral now, not to mention it was Alex who told her. 

“I don’t know what the hell happened between the two of you, but God, Lena she hasn’t been the same since. And I don’t really want to know what kind of bullshit the Black Mercy put you through, but I think both of you could really use their best friend right now.”

Alex sits at the side of her bed, putting a hand atop hers for a moment.

“Just think about it, while you rest,” Alex tells her, squeezes her hand and gets up again. 

“You can’t just tell me those kinds of things and expect me to rest,” Lena retorts, making Alex turn her head back to her. 

She’s glad that Alex doesn’t seem to pick sides. When the break-up happened she was expecting the DEO Director to turn up at her front step with a taser and point canons for breaking her sister’s heart. But Lena was surprised when Kelly turned up instead, telling her that Alex is with Kara, so she’s getting Kelly for the night.

The couple didn’t get anything from Kara or Lena that night, despite their various attempts at coaxing the truth out. The night was sobbed away or in Lena’s case, drank the night away; chugged enough wine that Kelly had forcefully pried the bottle from her hands. 

“Look, Lena, The two of you are really overdue for a talk.”

Alex's words bring her back to reality. She pulls a tablet out and Lena’s work phone is retrieved from her pocket. 

“So, talk,” Alex enunciates as she hands over the devices. 

“Because I am locking you here. No going to L-Corp, no trying to escape with Jess and no overworking till midnight. You get to call your assistant, tell her what happened and then you rest. That’s an order, got it?”

“Got it,” Lena grits out rolling her eyes, hiding the fact that she’s beyond warmed by the gesture. Alex merely shakes her head at her before stepping out. The door slides close behind her and Lena is finally left alone with her thoughts.

Alex has a point. Alex has a great point, her mind screams.

But...not ready, is an understatement. She is not ready to talk to Kara about the break-up, much less about why her Black Mercy induced dream is an overtly domestic version of their love story. 

She decides to file it under ‘Things For Later’ which is probably a bad idea. Her therapist would most likely tell her that. Then again, she doesn’t really think she’d be seeing her therapist any time soon. 

How does one unpack a whole alien parasite attack on your psyche in one session, anyway?

***

Alex finds her stood before ruined slabs of concrete. 

“Any updates?”

“We’re skip-tracing all employees from L-Corp between the graveyard shift and the morning shift.”

“Good, I have a feeling it was an inside job.”

Alex lets out an audible sigh. 

“Something you wanna say?” She says as cement crumbles under her fists and dust particles rain over her red boots. 

“Talk to her. “

Kara snorts. 

“You say that as if I haven’t tried talking.”

Alex puts a hand on her shoulder stopping her from launching another punch. 

“Really talk to her this time,” her sister stresses the words in that classic Alex Danvers’ ‘I’m-serious-so-you-better-fucking-listen’ way. 

She lets the words sit in the forefront of her mind, shoulders dropping, fists and arms following suit. 

“We were married,” She whispers and it takes two seconds for it to register to Alex before she steps closer, an ‘Oh, Kara.’ slipping past her lips. 

“We were married and happy. So happy. It felt so real, Alex, it felt so re—” 

Sobs choke her and Alex closes the gap and she lets herself be tugged in a tight, tight hug. Alex rubs comforting circles on her back as Kara’s chest heaves and tears pour. 

The thing about it was, she didn’t even spend more than one minute in that fantasy world, yet her brain acts as if she’s lived that life. As if she didn’t drop smack right in the middle of a stranger’s bedroom and the first thing she saw was a doppelganger of herself and her ex. In bed. Together. 

It was as if everything came to her in one terrifying moment of clarity. Boots in the corner. Cape haphazardly slung. Lena’s work laptop. Chew toys for dogs. Scattered Science books, then— 

Golden rings, on a finger, in a chain.

Mating bands around wrists.

Wedding portrait. Weddin— 

It all hits her at once faster than a whiplash and harder than a superpowered punch; knocking the  wind out of her lungs, until she realizes she was gasping. 

“Lena, we have to go, please. Please believe me, this isnt-” 

“Real. I know-”

“What’s your surname?”

“Luthor.”

Just like you promised. Promised. Promised. 

Always. 

Alex squeezes tighter and Kara is pulled back from the depths. 

Her sister lets her go and steps back a bit to cup her face in her hands; snotty nose, sniffles and all. 

“Hey, look at me. That wasn’t real. And I know how bad you want it to be real. But Kara, nothing will happen if the both of you keep pulling away from each other. Someone needs to take the plunge.”

“She doesn’t want me, Alex. She ended things.”

Alex takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, shakes her head and then lets it all out in one go. 

“Kara. I don’t really wanna say this to your face while you’re sobbing over me. But,” Alex lets out an exasperated sigh with a shake of her head and then lets out,  “Good fuck, that is the most stupid thing to come out of your mouth. I don’t know how to stress this enough but...her IDEAL world is the two of you playing house. What more do you need? She wants you.”

“But she-” 

Alex holds a finger up to stop her from talking. 

“Nope. No. Listen to me, you are being an idiot. Well, Lena is too. But we’re talking about you right now, so… again, you are being an idiot. Just— Talk to her, Kara. How many times do I have to say that?”

Kara goes from sobbing to shocked to skeptical in the few seconds that Alex was speaking. 

“I- I don’t know, Alex.”

“Kara, she wants you. She’s just scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“You won’t find out if you don’t talk to her.”

Well, that was a great response. 

Alex is hoping that it’s great enough of a response to convince her sister.

***

There’s a blue lump on the side of her bed. 

A blue lump with blonde hair?

Lena rubs the sleepiness off and slowly sits.

Kara, it was Kara. 

Kara was asleep, back hunched, head pillowed on folded arms on the side of her bed.

Lena immediately realizes the uncomfortable position she is in, not to mention the cape that is now roughly bundled at the back of the plastic chair. 

She carefully lays a hand on Kara’s shoulder and shakes her softly. 

“Hey, Kara, wake up, hey,” Lena mutters quietly. 

“Wha- Lena?” Kara startles awake and shoots up from her position.

“I- you looked like you were gonna have a back ache so I-uh,” Lena was grasping for words in that usual way she does when Kara’s around. 

“Here.” She pats the space next to her, “Come on, sit here, climb in. We uh- you’re right, we should talk, might as well do it while we’re both comfy, right?”

She attempts at lighthearted conversation, she already knows the next few minutes are going to be the most emotionally draining moments of her— their life. 

Kara hesitates a bit, before nodding and wordlessly hoisting herself on the bed. 

“So, do uh- do you wanna start or should I?”

Again, she was grasping for words. 

“Go ahead,” Kara says barely above a whisper, Lena was kind of hoping Kara would go first but well, here goes nothing. 

“Thank you for coming to get me, I wasn’t expecting you to come,” Lena confesses, she really was surprised when Kara—the real Kara— showed up to rescue her. 

“I’ll always save you, you know that,” Kara butts in, as if what Lena had said was the most ridiculous thing ever. She guesses it is, to Kara’s ears. She did promise always after all. 

“Yeah, I know I just— for a moment there I just thought...well, never mind what I thought honestly-”

“You thought what? That I don’t care about you anymore? That I won’t fly off the moment I sensed you were in danger?”

Well, she’s on fire today. 

“It’s not like that, you know that,” Lena protests but Kara interrupts again.

“It is like that. You thought just because we’re over I don’t give a shit about you anymore. You of all people, know I can’t—” Kara cuts herself off as if in pain, “I’ll always save you, Lena. Together or not. I care about you,” Kara utters, turning her head to meet Lena’s eyes before facing in front again. 

Lena feels like care is a placeholder for something both of them aren’t capable of saying at present. 

She doesn’t dwell on it too much because Kara is saying something again. 

“I think…” She begins with a voice full of an emotion Lena can’t name [read: don’t want to name.]

“I care about you a little too much and that...”

Lena holds in a breath. 

“And that scares you doesn’t it?” Kara finishes and she looks at her again but this time  around Lena’s cheeks are wet. 

Kara puts a hand atop hers and squeezes and the gesture pulls words from Lena’s throat. 

“You wanted everything so fast, Kara,” she whispers, not really trusting to increase the volume of her voice lest it shakes. 

“You were telling me all these grand plans of settling down and staying together and I was still having a hard time telling you ‘I love you’ and-” her voice breaks, “And even though, you kept saying it was okay, that you were just thinking out loud, I saw how hurt you were whenever I hesitated.”

Lena’s mind briefly flashes to all those nights spent with Kara, beside her and just feeling this massive fucking pressure of living up to what Kara wants. Shy I love you’s and fear, just so much fucking fear...and insecurities screaming at her that she isn’t what’s good for Kara. 

“I- I couldn’t give you what you wanted and I just kept thinking was it me you really wanted? Or was it this domestic bliss that you’ve conjured in your head? Something you can have with somebody else. And it just kept spiraling from there. Thinking somebody better can give you what you want, somebody who’s not tainted, somebody who you can be proud of, somebody who won’t feel so fucking scared of saying ‘I love you’.”

She was aware she was one breath away from sobbing and when Kara moved closer and softly said, “Oh Lena,”

The dam burst. 

“Oh, baby, come here, I’m sorry. Rao, I’m so sorry, I- I didn’t know I made you feel that way, I’m sorry,” Kara murmurs to her as she cups Lena’s cheek and uses her thumb to wipe tears. 

Lena’s eyes were so green at the moment and Kara has to remind herself that they still have a long way to go for tonight. 

“Look at me, I’m sorry I didn’t know, I’m sorry you felt pressured but Lena, there is nobody else I want. You are the one I want, hell I’m pretty sure every me out there in the multiverse is looking for their own Lena right now. You are the best I could ever have.”

The words hit Lena and it just makes her sob harder. Kara fully turns her body to the side to gather Lena in her arms and lets her sob into her neck. 

“I- I left because I thought I couldn’t be enough, I didn’t want to. But everything was happening so fast and you wanted so many things and I couldn’t give it to you and I felt like such a fucking failure,” Lena sobs out, words slightly muffled with how hard Kara is pressing into her. 

“Lena you are not a failure oh, come here. Listen to me, you’re not a failure, you’re not supposed to build your world around me okay? You do it for yourself. You are brilliant. You are not a failure and I am so so sorry that I made you feel that way.”

Kara rubs circles on her back and squeezes around her every so often. It feels like forever that they stayed that way. Kara whispering, “Shh, breathe, breathe with me,” and Lena sniffling into Kara and Kara just wrapping all around her and calming her. When Lena’s sobs start to subside and she feels confident enough in her ability to speak she slowly breaks away from Kara. 

“I’ve been going to therapy,” she begins, “It helped...a lot. Helped clear out a lot of things f-for me. And I think,” She pauses, “Kara, I- I also think you need it more than I do.”

At that Kara’s face scrunches up in confusion. 

“How so?”

“Remember when I told you you wanted so much so fast?”

Kara gives her a nod. 

“I think you were trying to run, darling.”

She knew she should be focusing on what Lena was trying to tell her but she can’t help the little flutter of her heart at the pet name. 

“Run? Run from what?”

“Kara,” Lena starts, unsure about how she should really go about all this.

“You went through hell and back trying to fix the universe, you watched another home of yours get erased from existence. And not to mention that before and during all of that, the two of us were fighting. And then to make things worse at the end of it all, you get ejected into a universe you barely know with my brother as its savior.”

Lena lays out all the facts methodically, slowly, carefully but just blunt enough to make Kara realize that all that trauma should not just be brushed aside.

“You went through a lot.”

A lot, doesn’t even begin to describe the enormity of everything the both of them went through. But Lena supposes they can unpack that another time. There’s a pause and Lena watches Kara take a breath.

“Kara, I think you jumped into a relationship with me because it made you feel good. It made you forget about all the recent hardships you just went through. And I guess maybe I did too, you know? We both just wanted to feel some crumb of peace, but God, did we go about it the wrong way.”

Lena watches her words sink in, how Kara stops, blinks slowly only to take a sudden breath as tears slowly track down her face. 

“I- No. I didn’t. No, you’re wro- Lena, I-” Kara fails to tie together a sentence as tears start to fall down. It’s easy when everything else is in your head, when you can replay memories and cover them in filters made by your own brain, but when someone else puts it on the screen for you? That’s a different matter altogether. Nobody had shown Kara the severity of her trauma before and now it’s taking its toll.

“Oh, Kara. Come here, come here,” Lena coos, this time it was her pulling Kara in. Kara melts into her and Lena feels the telltale signs of heavy sobs come through. 

“I don’t know- I-”

“Shh, it’s okay, Kara, it’s okay.” 

She lets Kara fall apart in front of her. She knows those tears are oceans of their own, those drops carry the memory of a fallen planet, an entire culture, stories, people, loved ones. Every drop is a person Supergirl had failed to save, another universe, another home. Every drop is every lie she ever told Lena and all of the pain there was when she was gone. 

“I’m sorry, Lena, I’m sorry.”

She can’t beg forgiveness from an extinct race or a wiped out universe but Lena? She could still have Lena. 

***

Alex finds them curled tightly together in the Med Bay come morning. She kind of wants to cry in relief at the sight. 

Finally, fucking finally. 

She doesn’t have the heart to bother them so she grabs them an extra blanket and tucks both in, exiting with a small smile to her lips. 

***

They both wake up to the sound of laughter, the perpetrators— a couple of low-rank agents— stop in the tracks at the sight of a disheveled Supergirl, scowling madly at them with one Lena Luthor tucked in her arms. 

“Uh- sorry, we’ll just uh-” 

The agents bolt out of the room immediately, letting Kara slump back into the pillow. 

“Hi,” Lena croaks out with a rough voice, eyes puffy from last night. 

Snippets from last night immediately flashing in Kara’s brain. 

Kara holding Lena. 

Lena holding Kara

Teary apologies

Catching-up on each other.

Talking till yawns interrupted their words. 

Kissing. 

More kissing. 

More kiss-

You get the picture. 

“Good morning,” Kara replies with a shy smile. 

“Is scaring agents one of Supergirl’s many talents?” Lena teases, as Kara scoffs fully turning unto her side to face Lena, hand casually brushing a stray strand of her on Lena’s face

“Serves them right for just walking in-” Kara stops mid-sentence, fingers freezing and her eyes turn hesitant, “Sorry, is this okay?”

Because even though last night had happened even though they’ve talked until words could no longer name the depth of their feelings and they turned to silence instead, Kara is still unsure. Hesitant. Wary of giving too much too soon or asking for too much too soon.

But the most difficult part is over and they both realize this as the sun from outside filter through the many wide windows of the DEO, as Lena’s next words ring about in the warmth of the morning.

“Kara, it’s okay,” Lena answers her, catching Kara’s frozen hand and leaning into the touch, pressing closer to Kara’s face, noses touching, lips a breath apart. 

“In fact, it’s very much okay.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

The first tell was the lack of a body next to her. The second was the freezing cold. Her bed was almost never cold these days. She’s grown used to sharing her bed with a Kryptonian heater, and so, to wake up from a nightmare alone in bed was now an unusual occurrence. Unusual nough to make her panic. 

She sits up, disoriented from her nightmare. Lena groggily registers a low melodic humming crackling from the baby monitor on her nightstand. 

“Kara,” she whispers into the quiet of the room, “Please come back to me.” 

The humming from the monitor begins to sound distant as it gets louder to Lena’s ears; drifting nearer and nearer to the bedroom. 

The door opens and Kara strolls in, messy bun, sleepy voice and all. In her arms a squirming, kicking, sniffling, very much awake bundle fits.

“She doesn’t want to sleep, I tried everythi-” Kara whines and then stops as she takes in Lena’s racing heartbeat, shaking lips and shining eyes. 

“Oh no, did you have a nightmare? I’m sorry, I-”

“It’s okay, Kara. Just— Come here? Please?”

Kara shuffles quickly towards the bed; Lena lifts the comforter, making room, the bed dipping as her wife climbs in.

“You okay?” she asks, once she’s settled down next to Lena. She continues rocking her arms as an attempt to get their daughter to sleep for the nth time tonight. Her wife doesn’t still doesn’t answer her, although she doesn’t miss how Lena slightly calms at her presence.

“Lena, hey, you with me?”

“Kara?”

“I’m here, I’m here.”

“Thi- this is real, right?”

Because sometimes, there are nights where dreams feel all too real and pain comes rearing at you as if it all happened yesterday. Because after all these years, Lena still carries fear inside of her; fear that none of this is real, fhat Kara doesn’t really love her, that she’ll never be good enough, that she’ll be abandoned again. Fear that all of this is just a figment of her imagination. 

“Oh, Lena. Come here, I’m going to pass her unto you alright?” 

Lena’s eyes snap up to hers for a minute in hesitation but she finds herself slowly nodding. Kara wouldn’t give their daughter over if she isn’t sure Lena could handle it. She slowly transfers their child to Lena’s arms. 

“Do you feel her warmth?” 

“Mm-hmm.”

“Do you feel her weight?”

“She’s real, Lena. I’m real,” Kara says as she wraps her arms around them, cradling her wife and child close. 

“She’s getting heavy.”

“Yeah, yeah that she is. This is real, Lena.”

“Here,” she gently puts a pillow beneath Lena’s arms for support as she slowly grabs one hand and puts it right over her heart. 

“Feel this? Can you feel it?” 

Lena does, Lena can and she nods and it’s real and Kara’s heartbeats are steady under her palm; each beat an echo of Lena’s name. She’s certain of that, because she’s pretty sure her heartbeats are all echoes of Kara’s name again and again and again.

“This is real.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

[whatisthiswritingthing]

I’m Batman - USWNT x Reader

Prompt: if you have the time, muse, energy - would there be a chance you MAYBE could write something in the line of r being the baby of the team and getting surgery, like wisdom teeth out and in her high as a kite state afterwards calls the team by cute pet names and refuse to believe they have actual names...?

Apparently you guys need to send me more prompts before I go for a run; I wrote this in my head while I ran. 

Hey, how’s she doing?” Christen asked softly as she walked into the hotel room.

“Ask her yourself,” Lindsey smirked.

Y/N had gotten her wisdom teeth out the day before camp was set to start in Portland. It was an odd circumstance, normally players wouldn’t be at camp immediately after surgery, but since Y/N lived alone no one would be able to take care of her, she would be in the hotel with everyone else.

Christen gave Lindsey a weird look when she saw the suspect grin on her face. “How you doing Y/N?”  she asked softly, reaching out to sooth a stray hair down.

“I’m batman,” Y/N lowered the tone of her voice, doing a terrible batman impression, the gauze in her mouth muffling the sound. She scrunched her face, attempting to glower at Christen.

“Oh,” Christen pulled her hand back, looking to Lindsey and Tobin on the other bed, “you get your wisdom teeth out and you become batman?”

“Justice League was playing while she had surgery, we are slowly working through them all; right now its batman, after surgery it was Wonder Woman. The Wonder Woman accent was hilarious with the swelling and gauze,” Tobin offered, large grin covering her face. “Hey Batman, how is your mouth feeling?”

Y/N flopped her to look toward Tobin, eyebrows squinting, scowling at the brunette, “Good, batman feels no pain.”

The three laughed, the younger woman’s scowl deepening.

“Hey Y/N, how are you doing?” Alex pushed the door open.

“I’m batman,” Y/N rolled her head toward the forward walking in.

Alex paused mid step, looking to the rest of the women in the room, mouth forming an ‘O’, eyebrows shooting up. “What?”

“You heard her, she’s batman,” Lindsey laughed, pointing to the medicated soccer player.

“Someone is on the good drugs I see.”

“Nah, Y/N just doesn’t handle painkillers well.”

“I’m batman!” Y/N raised her voice, interrupting the conversation.

“Tobin don’t insult batman like that,” Lindsey gave Tobin a sly grin.

“Thank you, Horan,” Y/N kept her low and gravelly, “you are a good friend.”

“Anytime Batman, I got you,” Lindsey winked at her.

They continued to talk while Y/N slept on the other bed.

“Did you guys see that?” Y/N sat up abruptly in the bed.

“See what?”

“Exactly,” Y/N did her best to smirk around the gauze, easing her way back on the bed. The gravelly voice gone from before.

Tobin mouthed the fuck.

Y/N looked left and right as quick as her delayed senses could, smirk still on her face, “vroom! There I go again.”

“Who is she now?” Alex whispered to the group.

“Umm no idea, let’s see,”

“Where’d you go?”  

“I’ll go again,” Y/N turned to the group, “and I’m back! You guys didn’t even see me,” she smirked, swollen cheeks puffing out more, her voice mumbled with the gauze.

The group all slowly nodded, still confused.

“So, batman,” Horan started tentatively, seeing how she will react on the name.

“Flash,” Y/N cut off, head lolling to the side to look at them again, “so fast,” she awkwardly thrust her arms in and out one at a time.

Sonnett and Kelley walked in the room, both tilting their heads to the side, faces full of confusion. “What’s with Y/N?” Kelley pointed to the bed, watching Y/N bring her arms in and out.

“Oh, she’s the Flash,” Alex said it like it was the most obvious thing.

“Oh yea, she’s the Flash,” Kelley replied sarcastically, “what a stupid question to ask.”

“Obviously we missed something,” Sonnett motioned to Y/N who was flopping her head back and forth, whispering so fast under her breath.

“She watched Justice League while she got her wisdom teeth out, now she’s baked as a cake and will only respond to the Justice League character she thinks she is for the minute,” Tobin filled in for the defenders.

“And right now, she is the Flash,” Sonnett nodded along.

“Yea, look at those hands, she’s so fast,” Lindsey mocked, everyone looked over to see Y/N still thrusting her arms in and out.

“Hey Flash, we need to change your gauze,” Christen said soothingly as she approached the bed with fresh gauze in her hand.

Y/N puffed her cheeks out, Christen sat on the bed next to the young soccer player, “watcha doing?”

Y/N then blew the air out of her cheeks, sticking her tongue out, attempting to push the gauze out of her mouth, dramatically making spluttering sounds.

Everyone in the room laughed as the bloody gauze tumbled out of her mouth, rolling down on to her chest, “aww,” Y/N looked at her chest.

Christen delicately picked the gauze up, tossing it into the garbage can Alex held up, “what’s wrong Flash?”

“My powers are gone, the dentist took my wisdom.” Y/N pouted.

Christen delicately placed more gauze in her mouth, “there you go Flash, more powers again.”

Y/N puffed her cheeks out again, creasing her eyebrow again.

“What’s going on?” Sonnett whispered to Lindsey.

“No idea, this is kind of how she’s been all day.”

Y/N let out all the air in her mouth, exhaling loudly, then inhaling again and puffing her cheeks out again.

“So do we just wait until we figure it or does she tell us?” Kelley asked, watching as Y/N repeated the action.

“She kind of just does stuff, then she snaps at us when we get it wrong,” Tobin shrugged.

“You better now that you have your powers back… flash?” Alex asked, pausing before she said Flash.

“We should go swimming!” Y/N shot up on the bed.

Christen gently pushed Y/N back down, “woah you, you should sit back down. Let’s save swimming for another day.”

Y/N puffed her cheeks back out, nodding along.

“Fish are friends, not food,” Y/N firmly nodded her head, a poor Australian accent lacing her words.

“She’s Bruce from Finding Nemo now?” Alex asked the group, confused.

“Dude, she’s high, not sure we can question the thought process.”

“Hey, umm Bruce?” Sonnett called out. Y/N rolled her head to the side to look toward the defender.

“Here’s Brucey!”

“You ready for soup Brucey?”

“I’m a nice shark, not some mindless eating machine.”

“So pudding?”

“Yes!” Y/N whipped an arm out, pointing aggressively at Sonnett.

“Why is she such a weird kid?” Kelley whispered.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Grant You a Universe | Luke Patterson

Requested: Yes/No

wait because here me out, Luke as a quarterback AU like— imagine that, yeah imma request that, a luke quarterback au pls 🥺BUT HES THE COCKY GET ALL THE GIRLS QUARTERBACK YEAH YEAH AND READER IS POPULAR BUT THEY DON’T DATE BUT EVERYONE WANTS THEM TO BE THE POPULAR COUPLE CLICHÉ OMG

A/N: This is the longest I ever worked on a fic, I think? I hope you like it! 

Pairing: 90′s!Luke x Reader

Song(s) used: None (WHAT?! Yeah, I know, shocking!)

Warnings: Cheating, implied abuse, party, drinking, someone is drunk, aggression

Words:  6,868

The first time he saw her was Freshman year during football tryouts. While he was on the field, trying to pay attention to whatever the coach was blabbing about, she was running around it. Her ponytail whipping around her head as her feet pounded against the red gravel of the race rink. She was a flash of pink and brown hair, but it was enough for Luke to become infatuated with her. He didn’t even care when he became the quarterback that year. All he cared about was her. He needed to know who she was and ask her on a date, even if it were the last thing he did.  

The first time he ever spoke to her was a few days later, after their first game in Freshman year. She was sitting in the bleachers, cheering on the team, and Luke couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter as this beautiful girl cheered him on with every touchdown he scored. 

After the game, she came down to say hi to Bobby, the team’s Running Back and the girl’s best friend. Luke knew this. He had seen the two of them together a lot during lunches and in the hallways, but never dared to ask the boy that became a friend of his too, what this girl’s name was or what her deal was. 

But the fact that she came to say hi to him, gave Luke an opportunity to talk to her, too. “Hey, Bobbers, nice touchdowns,” the girl teased her best friend, who hadn’t scored any today. He did assist on some of Luke’s touchdowns. 

“Oh, shut it, y/n,” Bobby muttered and shoved her in the shoulder. He turned when Luke patted him on the back as he joined the group. “Good game, Patterson,” he said to the floppy haired boy next to him. The boy who couldn’t keep his eyes off his best friend for one second. 

“You too, Bobbers,” he repeated y/n’s nickname for her best friend, earning an eyebrow raise from the girl he’s been crushing for a week straight now. Even her eyes were captivating. The dark brown reflected gold in the setting sun.    

“You making fun of my nicknames, Patterson?” she asked, one corner of her mouth tugging up into a smirk. The boy became a stuttering mess at the teasing tone in her voice. 

“No, I uhm… I-I…” he scratched the back of his neck at a loss for words. “I’m Luke, by the way.” Y/N giggle reached his ears like a sweet lullaby. She shook her head at the boy. 

“Oh, I know.” 

Her straightforward reply haunted his brain for years to follow. He never knew what it meant but it became the thing that started a blossoming friendship. A friendship that made them the infamous ‘it-couple-that-wasn’t-a-couple’ by junior year. A title neither of you wanted, being in the ‘popular’ clique was already too much. 

“Chicaaaas!” Luke called out as he and Bobby walked into the student lounge where y/n and Lydia, her best friend and captain of the cheerleading team, were having some tea and chatting about girl stuff -- as Luke himself liked to say. “Party tonight at Alexis Bryan’s place, are we going or?” he rubbed his hands together as if he’d just concocted the greatest scheme of all time. 

Y/N smiled up at both boys and said, “Lyds and I were actually talking about having a sleepover tonight and making a puzzle together.” The two boys groaned and rolled their eyes at her answer. “What?” she asked. 

“You sound like two grandmas!” Bobby exclaimed and ran his hand through his dark hair. 

“Hey! No hate against grandmas!” Lydia exclaimed with a scowl on her face. Bobby raised his hands in defense before everyone turned to Luke, who was looking down at y/n. 

“I don’t know, Luke… I really don’t feel like running into Matt tonight.” 

“Come on, y/n. I’m literally nothing with my party partner in crime!” His eyes begged and pleaded, which was something y/n hadn’t quite learned how to resist yet. She’d tried to. Many a time. But she always had to give in eventually. 

Even now. “Fine,” she said. “But you’re gonna have to promise to dance with me!” Luke rolled his eyes at the compromise, but couldn’t help the smile finding its way to his cheeks. No matter how hard it was for y/n to say no to Luke, it was twice as hard for him to say no to her. 

“Fine,” he grumbled. 

That night, as y/n took her scalding hot shower in preparation for the party, she reminisced over the past few years and how much her life changed since she started high school. Her mind wandered over the first day, when she clung to Bobby’s bicep because she was so scared of all the new things around her. She remembered how tiny and scared she felt, but all of that washed away when Bobby reassured her he wouldn’t leave her side. Only when he went to try out for football and she tried out for the running team. Then her mind jumped to the day she met Luke at the football game and how he immediately caught her attention. Ever since that day, her life had become this big-ass chaos. If it weren’t for Luke, she would probably just be part of the sprint relay team. But thanks to being so close to the quarterback, y/n was popular by association. Though, she wouldn’t change it for the world. What she would change was how all her dates had always been scared of Luke. All except for one. Matthew. He somehow managed to get through Luke’s and Bobby’s shield of brotherly protection -- as they called it. The two had been together for a few months until the whispers started. Whispers about Matthew cheating on y/n, or y/n cheating on Matthew with Luke. None of which was very healthy for the relationship, so they broke it off. 

It would’ve been friendly if she didn’t see Matthew the day after their break up kissing one of her teammates. That’s when she knew the whispers about him weren’t just rumors. Even up until this day, she wondered if her sister ever had a thing with him, like the whispers suggested. 

As her Ace of Base CD played on her stereo, she started to make a move-on with her outfit and makeup. She opted for a black body con dress with spaghetti straps that accentuated her curves in just the right places. For her makeup, she decided on a neutral look and swiped the light browny color across her eyelids. 

By the time she started applying her mascara, there was a light tapping on her window. She turned around to find Luke on the small balcony at your window. He was wearing his Screams from The Attic band tee with the sleeves cut off and his trusty black jeans, decorated with the infamous chains and blue rabbit’s foot. 

She opened the window door to let him in and turned to grab her shoes. “Hey, you re--wowza!” he cut himself off when his eyes took in every inch of the girl in front of him. A blush crept to y/n’ cheeks as she strapped the black heels on. “That’s a fly outfit, girl.” 

“Thanks, Patterson. Let’s bounce, yeah?” 

Luke climbed over the stone enclosure of the balcony and carefully let himself hang down from the bottom before letting go and landing gracefully on his feet. He whispered a ‘yes’ under his breath before looking up to find y/n climbing over as elegantly as she could. Though, with that dress on, she was about to flash someone and the lucky recipient of the little sneak peek was of course Luke. 

“Is today a special occasion?” he asked. Y/N turned her head to look down at Luke while hanging onto the balcony for dear life. “You only wear red lingerie on special occasions.” 

“Why are you looking down my dress, you creep?” The giggle that followed the words reassured Luke that she wasn’t offended by it. It was a typical thing to bicker about in their friendship. 

“You flashed your knickers at me, Peaches, don’t blame me.” He held his hands up in defense, shooting her a sheepish look. Y/N scoffed at that and rolled her eyes before dropping down to hang from the balcony the same way Luke had done. 

“You are so lucky I love you,” she mumbled and then screamed, “Patterson, think fast!” She let go, and hoped Luke would be fast enough to catch her since she wasn’t going to stick the landing on her heels quite as much as Luke did. Thankfully though, Luke’s fast reflexes made him move underneath her just in time to catch her, bridal style. 

Their eyes locked for a moment, both of them suddenly realizing how close they really were. A smile made its way to y/n’s features and she leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek before flicking her legs out of his grasp and patting his chest twice. 

“Thanks, buddy. That was like a crazy trust fall.” 

Leaving Luke behind to reflect on whatever just happened, y/n skipped towards Bobby’s car and got into the passenger’s seat. She planted a kiss on Bobby's cheek and then turned around as Luke got in the back, finding two other boys she knew all too well. 

 “‘sup homies?” she grinned cheesily at the blonde and brunette she knew as Alex and Reggie. The two other members of Sunset Curve, the band Bobby and Luke formed when they met in freshman year. 

The two boys smiled back at y/n while Luke gave her a glare, probably because she stole his seat in the front. However, y/n didn’t care or notice, for that matter. Her mind was wrapped up in something else instead. 

“So, Alex…” she started, capturing the blond guy’s attention. “How was your date with Driss?” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and it sent a scarlet color up to Alex’s cheeks. Even though his parents didn’t care for his sexual orientation, he was glad his friends supported him, even if that meant y/n’s curiosity in his dating life. 

“It was okay…” he replied humbly, but y/n wasn’t y/n if she let this slide. 

“Where did he take you? What did you do? What did you wear?” she gasped, “Did you kiss?” The boys collectively chuckled at y/n’s antics. All of them had endured her searching for cute date stories. 

“He took me to this really pretty lake where we had a picnic and we screamed into the dark,” he reminisced dreamily with a tender smile on his face. Y/N’s heart melted at the sight of Alex’s happiness. It was about time he got a happy ending too. 

“Did you kiss?” she repeated her question. 

Alex exhaled, a pout forming on his face as he said, “No… But! He did ask me for a second date tomorrow!” Y/N’s face lit up entirely as she clapped her hands giddily, making Alex laugh. 

“I am so happy for you, Alex.” She reached out her hand between the two front seats, and Alex grabbed it, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. 

The car abruptly came to a stop, causing y/n to lose her balance a little. “The hell, dude?” she asked Bobby, glaring at the driver. 

“We’re here, so unless you wanna continue this little tea party, get out of my car!” Y/N glanced at the other boys, who were equally as confused about the boy’s sudden behavior. 

“Someone needs to get laid tonight,” y/n muttered while she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of Bobby’s jeep, the boys following suit. She came to a halt in front of the house, looking up at the castle of a house. Music was thumping through the white brick walls and people were bustling about on the front lawn, smoking, drinking and talking. 

“You ready?” Reggie asked, placing a hand on y/n’s left shoulder while another hand grabbed her right one. Looking up, she found Alex smiling down at her with that reassuring smile of his. When she felt another hand on her right shoulder and a kiss to the back of her head, she knew she was good to go. She had all her best friends with her. She would be fine, even if she ran into the devil’s spawn. 

“If you wanna dip, just give us the sign and we’ll bounce,” Luke told her as he stood behind her. Slowly, but surely, y/n began to nod her head, mentally preparing herself for what’s about to come. 

She'd made up a million of scenes where she’d confront Matthew, coming up with the wittiest comebacks she could possibly think of. The perfect monologue that would forever be stuck in her head since she was too much of a shy girl to actually say those out loud. She might seem like a clever, obnoxious popular girl, but deep down, she was still the little geek from Middle School at heart. 

“Good to go,” she mumbled and started her way up to the house with Alex’s hand still in hers and the other boys safely surrounding her. 

As they walked into the house, they turned a few heads and with it began the rumor mill, like it always did. There was always something to spill about the group, it seemed. 

“Y/N!” a loud shriek brought y/n back out of her thoughts. When she looked up, she found Lydia walking up to them with arms wide open. As she hugged her best friend, y/n could smell the alcohol on her. 

“Hey, Lyds,” y/n chuckled, “Been here long?” She pushed the strawberry blonde hair off her and took in her presence. She was wearing her lucky red dress with the plunging neckline, which was enough information for y/n to know her best friend was drinking for some courage to get a boy into her bed. 

“About an hour,” she slurred, and then her eyes fell on the boys behind y/n. Another shriek deafened y/n as the girl stumbled into Reggie’s arms for a hug. The boy giggled, steadying the tipsy girl. Each on their turn, the boys handed the drunk girl off to the next, knowing she wouldn’t stop until she had hugged every single one of them. “So, what are we thinking, shots?” she asked as she leaned on Bobby’s shoulder for balance. 

“I think you need some soda,” Bobby replied before grumpily grabbing Lydia’s hand and leading her towards the kitchen. Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed as she watched the two walk off. Something wasn’t quite right with her best friend, she just couldn’t place a finger on what it was. 

“What’s gotten his panties in a twist?” she asked the others, who all simply shrugged. 

Within the first ten minutes, the group was split up. While y/n was talking to her running team, Alex was occupied with Driss, Reggie was playing beer pong with some people and Luke was, unsurprisingly flirting with some girl.   

Luke was notorious for his flirting with girls, so it didn’t surprise y/n too much when her eyes fell on the popular quarterback, surrounded by a bunch of cheerleaders. Though she had to admit, she loved it most when the flirting was directed at her instead of other girls. 

When their eyes locked, Luke shot her a wink with that overconfident smirk on his face that made y/n roll her eyes. After blowing him a kiss, y/n walked back into the kitchen for a refill of her beer. If she was going to survive this party, she was going to need some more party fuel. 

“Hey, y/n!” a familiar voice sounded from the other side of the kitchen. When she looked up, she found Astrid and Alexis Bryan, hostesses of tonight’s soiree. It was Astrid who’d called her name. Y/N raised her red cup at the girl as she made her way over to her, leaving her sister by herself. “How you doing?” 

“Pretty good. Nice party you got going on here,” she answered, nodding her head to the dancing students in her living room. Astrid chuckled and sipped from her own beer while leaning against the counter. 

“Yeah, it is pretty rad,” Astrid mumbled, “Though, we have to thank Alexis for that. Could never have done this myself, but she did, so…” A snicker left y/n’s body as she softly tapped her foot to the beat of the music and her eyes scanned the party. 

“Let’s go dance, hm?” Astrid held out her hand for y/n to take, which she gladly did, and let the girl lead her towards the dance floor while sipping her beer. 

It’s about time y/n let loose for once. She always used to get so worked up at parties, knowing Matthew was going to be there and she’d tell the boys she wanted to leave before it ever got any fun. But this time, she wasn’t going to let a boy ruin her fun. She was here now, she looked bomb and was having fun with some of the girls from her class. 

“Y/N!” Lydia’s voice shrieked once more as she joined y/n on the dance floor with a red cup in her hand while the other landed on the back of y/n’s neck, pulling her in to kiss her on the cheek. “You know I love you, right?” 

Y/N glanced over at Bobby, who was keeping an eye out for Lydia from a few feet away. 

“I tried to give her soda,” he shrugged. Y/N rolled her eyes as an amused smile made its way to her cheeks. “It’s your best friend,” he added with his hands raised in defense. 

Y/N reached out and grabbed Bobby’s wrist, pulling him into the group to dance. He was hesitant at first, but eventually gave in and sang along to the song at the top of his lungs while supporting Lydia in a dance. 

Soon, Reggie and Alex had joined the group too, and y/n just knew tonight would be amazing. All she ever needed were her friends, some good music and booze. 

“Having fun, sweetheart?” Y/N’s skin crawled upon hearing the voice and feeling the familiar hands on her waist. That amazing night did not include him. 

She stopped moving all together and stepped away from him, only for him to pull her closer. 

“Let go, Matt!” she yelled and tried to step away again. He twirled her around, leaving his hands firmly on her waist. His bright blue eyes looked down at her with that familiar smile of his playing at his lips. A smile that used to make her heart swell now felt like a violation. 

“Ah, you still remember the sound of my voice,” he cooed. One hand came up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’ve missed you, y/n. I know we broke up, but I realize now that it was a mistake. We’re perfect for each other…” 

Y/N almost melted as the words reached her ears until she was reminded by the past they shared. Until she was reminded of what he’d done to her and how much it  had hurt. All the pain and sadness suddenly came back to her. She was feeling all of it again. 

She took a step back, finally freeing herself from his claws. She said, “Don’t.” Her eyes were dark and angry, her face stoic. A whole new side of y/n Matthew had never seen before. As he muttered her name, he took a step closer, wanting to hold her in his arms again. “Don’t take another step in my direction,” she said, now a lot firmer than before. “Don’t ever think you can apologize your way back into my arms, Matt.” 

The commotion had grabbed everyone’s attention so much so that even the music had stopped abruptly. Luke got up from leaning against the wall with a girl pinned against it, when he heard y/n’s voice raise, while her other friends perked up too. 

“Please, y/n… You’re the only person I ever loved. You’re the only person I still love.” 

Y/N scoffed at this and shook her head in disbelief while kissing her teeth. “Do you think I’m naive, Matt?” Matt looked up at her, pleadingly. “You really think I’d fall for your lies? After everything we’ve been through? After everything you’ve done to me?” She didn’t care who was watching, she needed to get the monologue she’d thought of in the shower out of her system. It’s now or never. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, y/n… I thought we broke up as friends?” 

A collective gasp fell over the whole entire room, followed by the usual whispers. 

“Yeah, we did. Until I found out you already had your tongue down Sam’s throat the day after. The day after, Matt! I know you were seeing her and so many other girls while we were dating. I hear the whispers too, you know? And I thought, I really thought you were speaking the truth when you told me none of the whispers were true.” Her voice wavered, but she took a deep breath and bit back the tears. She had to stay strong. 

“Fine, the rumors were true, but so what, y/n?! The whispers about you were true, too!” The volume of his voice grows, his tone sharper, firmer. Back when they were dating, y/n got scared whenever the volume of his voice rose, but not this time.   

Y/N shook her head, her tongue gliding over her teeth. “You hear whispers from people around you, saying I slept with Luke when you know damn well that Luke’s like my brother and we don’t look at each other that way. When you hear whispers, you have to scream and you’re screaming at me for being disloyal when the only one who was ever loyal in our relationship was me. I know about whispers, Matt. I saw the way you looked at my sister. At Alexis. At Amber. At Sam. So don’t you dare say I was ever the only one you loved. Because you, Matthew, don’t love anyone or care about anyone but yourself.”

Luke jammed his hands into his pockets as he listened to y/n’s words. Even though they hurt, he couldn’t help but feel proud of her for standing up to her oppressor. He watched as y/n said her final words before running up the stairs, leaving everyone confused and in a humble of even more rumors and whispers. Shaking his head, he followed y/n upstairs, finding her on the balcony at the end of the hallway. 

“So, you finally did it, huh?” His voice made her jump slightly, but she calmed down straight away when realizing it was just him. “Your monologuing in the mirror paid off.” He went to stand next to her, leaning against the concrete enclosure. 

Y/N wiped the tears away with the back of her hand, chuckling. Of course Luke would know she’d been practicing in her mirror. This had been brewing for a while and now that it was finally out in the open, lingering in the air in that living room down there, she didn’t know if she should feel relieved or scared. 

“Hey,” Luke nudged her with his shoulder, shooting a small smile, “I’m proud of you.” 

Her lips curled up into a smile before she wrapped both arms around his bicep, her head resting against his shoulder as she took a deep breath. “I can’t believe I said all of that in there,” she chuckled. 

“Yeah, me neither,” said Luke and he pressed a kiss to her hair before laying his head down on hers. “Did you see Matt’s face though? He was genuinely scared of you just then.”

Y/N scoffed and let go of him, making her way to the small bench in the corner of the small terrace. “I doubt he was scared of me. What he was, was shocked because I never talked back to him whenever we fought.” 

Luke turned around, but kept leaning against the fence, crossing his arms. “I’m glad you finally did. That asshole needed to know that what he was doing wasn’t cool. He needed to know that that’s not how you treat a woman.” 

Y/N raised her eyebrow at him, leaning back on her hands. “And you know how to treat a woman.” Luke wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement, so he didn’t answer straight away. He mulled over a good answer as he walked up to her, taking a seat next to her on the bench, their shoulders touching. 

"You know how I’d treat a woman?” he asked. 

“Please, enlighten me,” she replied. 

Luke inhaled deeply before the words poured out of him like he’d been the one monologuing this in front of his mirror. “I would treat her like a goddess. I would build her temples out of words and love and affection. I would make sure she was happy and satisfied before my own needs were fulfilled. I’d write songs to her and she’d be my muse for my music. I would build empires of paragraphs, castles of melodies inspired by her. I would flood her senses with words and make sure she knew all of that was for her. I would build her a whole new world. I’d grant her a universe filled with words and music of love.”    

Y/N let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Woah, Patterson…” Luke shrugged and offered her a shy smile before looking out into the dark night in front of them. “Careful or you’ll make me fall in love with you.” 

“That’s the intention,” he muttered, but his words were overpowered by Lydia’s shrieking. 

“Here you are!” she yelled, then turned her head to someone inside. “Bobbers! I found our love birds!” She turned her head to the two on the bench and smiled. “Come on, you guys! There’s a party downstairs! We need to celebrate y/n’s greatest victory ever!” 

“We can dip if you don’t wanna go back out there,” Luke told her as she stood up. 

“I think I’ll be okay,” she smiled thankfully at him before reaching out her hand for him to take. “Come on, let’s get jiggy!” Luke smirked before gently placing his hand in hers and letting her pull him up to his feet. 

Together, the two of them followed Lydia and Bobby back downstairs to the party, their fingers laced together as they made their way through the crowd. As if on cue, the people started to whisper again as they passed, but y/n didn’t care. She had her best friends with her, she just stood up to her ex-boyfriend, and she found out her best friend was a feminist. There’s no better night than that. She was not going to let it get ruined by a few whispers. 

For the rest of the night, y/n danced and partied with her friends until the sun came up again and it was time to head home. Like every other party night, the six of them ended up in Bobby’s garage. Luke and y/n snuggled up on his couch, Bobby and Lydia in a sleeping bag together, and Reggie and Alex spooning on an air mattress. 

Can’t get more perfect than that.   

 New week, fresh start, people always said. Y/N used to think of it as bullshit, but this time around, she could actually feel it. She felt refreshed, as if a whole new world opened up to her. As if she’d started a new chapter, nay, a new book. One with a happy continuation. One without Matt. 

Monday also meant practice after school. For all of them. The football team had practice out on the field while the sprint relay team ran around it and the cheerleaders practiced on the sidelines. It was the one extracurricular they did together without actually doing it together. 

“Hey, y/n…” a voice she recognized as Sam’s made her look away from the boys on the football field. Her voice sounded ambivalent, which confused y/n as the girl would normally be chirpy and cheery. 

“Hey, Sam. ‘Sup?” y/n gathered her long hair in both hands and tied it up at the top of her head with a bright pink scrunchie. 

“I just--I wanted to apologize for what I did…” she mumbled, her eyes cast on her fidgeting finger. Y/N had never seen her teammate like this. The otherwise lively sport nut now sounded guilty and like the light had been snuffed out of her. “I knew you and Matt were together and I still let him…” she trailed off as though saying the words would make them true. 

Y/N flinched at the mention of the boy’s name. She had hoped it wouldn’t have been brought up and besides the occasional whisper she’d caught during lunch, the objective had been quite successful. Until now. 

“I really don’t wanna talk about him right now, Sam,” y/n muttered, and when she looked up at Sam, she knew she had to say something to ease the girl’s mind. “But this wasn’t your fault. Matt should’ve not tried anything with you. He was the disloyal one, he was the one that cheated on me, not you.” A teasing grin played at y/n’s lips when she continued, “You know, unless you’re gonna tell me now you doped yourself up for practice and are gonna make me lose.” 

Sam worriedly looked up, but when she noticed the grin on y/n’s face, she immediately calmed down and couldn’t help but laugh. 

She shook her head, “No, I’m no cheater.” 

Y/N’s lips curled up into a smile as she grabbed Sam’s hand and squeezed it, letting her know the two are on good terms. Nothing should ever break up the team, especially not a boy. 

“She's talking about you, y/n?” 

Speak of the devil… 

Y/N turned around to where the voice came from, finding a tense Matt in front of her. She should’ve known there was no way of avoiding him all day today. 

“I knew you were lying to me. I knew you and Patterson were a thing and you cheated on me with him.” His voice resounded across the entire area, attracting everyone’s attention with the sudden commotion. 

The football team stopped their exercise half-way, much to the coach’s dismay, and the cheerleaders broke up their human pyramid to find out what was going on. Luke, Bobby and Lydia were the only ones of each team to give incentive to the rest of the team to walk up to the ex-couple fighting. 

“And you just kept on guilting me because I was the only one to be disloyal,” Matt grunted, shaking his head in disbelief. “I heard the whispers, y/n. I heard what happened the other night!” 

Y/N’s eyebrows rose, unimpressed at his outburst. “What did you hear this time, Matthew?” 

“You and Patterson getting dirty on the balcony at Bryan’s party!” he spat, and drops of saliva actually found their way to y/n’s face. She kissed her teeth before wiping her cheek with one forceful finger. 

“Have you learned nothing, asshole?!” y/n shouted. She wasn’t going to keep her cool anymore. Ever since Friday, she learned that she was able to stand up to herself, no matter how scary Matt could get. 

She stepped forward, erasing the space between the two as they stood chest-to-chest. Seeing this, Luke halted and averted his eyes. He thought this situation would actually give him a hand at finally asking y/n out for real, but it seemed like the two were about to make up. 

“Didn’t you learn about whispers being just that, whispers? Nothing happened between Luke and me. Not when we were dating, not at Alexis’ party. And the fact that you even dare to insinuate I would be capable of cheating just shows once more that you don’t know me and you don’t care about me.” She pressed her index finger to his chest harshly. “You are a selfish, self-indulgent prick who doesn’t deserve all the wonderful women that have thrown themselves at you. You don’t deserve anything and--” y/n flinched as she watched his hand come up and two hands pulled her away from Matt. 

“Patterson, stay out of this,” Matt growled. Y/N opened her eyes at the mention of her best friend’s name, finding him between her and her ex now. As she turned her head, Bobby was standing behind her, his hands on her shoulder. 

Matt turned back to Y/N, the growl persistent on his face. “No,” Luke said, capturing Matt’s attention once more. 

“No?” His voice was abrasive, a tone y/n had gotten used to over the years. 

“No,” Luke repeated. He glanced back at y/n before jamming his hands into his trousers and looking at Matt again. Though Luke was a lot smaller than the broad, tall teenager in front of him, his confidence was twice the size of the other footballer. “Technically, you’re pinning me down as a home wrecker, so you pretty much pulled me into this yourself.” 

Y/N raised her eyebrows at the new-found confidence. Luke was cocky and flirty around girls, but he’d never been this overly confident version of himself towards his teammates. It was refreshing to see this entirely different side from her best friend. 

“Well, yeah, because she clearly did cheat on me with you. Why else would you guys be fooling around after her little outburst to me?” The overconfidence Matt normally carried had now washed away. He hadn’t seen this side of the quarterback yet either. 

Luke let out an airy laugh, and retorted, “Yeah, well, see, that’s where you’re wrong.” He tilted his head ever so slightly, his green eyes looking up at the big, burly footballer. “There’s this misconception about our relationship, you see? Y/N and I are the best of friends, and I get it we’d look super hot together as a couple, but the sad truth is -- well, sad for me -- that Y/N has always been too busy being loyal to an asshole like you to see that. So, despite popular belief, y/n and I are just the best of friends and she deserves the world, more even, she deserves a whole-ass new universe. Which is something you can’t give her.” 

Y/N stared at her best friend in awe. She had never seen this side of him but she couldn’t say she disliked it. In fact, there was this attractiveness about an overconfident Luke defending her against her ex-boyfriend. And reciting the words in her mind, she realized something she hadn’t seen before. Luke was in love with her and he’d tried to tell her so many times before, but she took it as harmless flirting. 

Moreover, y/n realized she was in love with her best friend too. 

“But you, Matthew McSomething,” y/n chuckled at Luke’s name dig at the Scottish boy, especially with the added bonus of an attempt at a Scottish accent, “You are too self-indulgent to even give her a fraction of a world. So, unless you can actually give her more than that, stay away from her…” 

“Or what?” Matt snarled. 

“I’ll put you on the bench for the rest of the season. And we all know you can only get the girls when you’re on the field, don’t we?” 

Matt’s eyes widened at Luke’s words as the panic set in. Matthew McGregor was nothing on the bench. Even worse, he was less than nothing. On the bench, he’d get associated with Bruce Frederickson, coach’s nephew who was just there because he was family and not because he was actually good at football. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Luke murmured and then turned to the coach, who, too, had joined in the drama. “I think we can hit the showers now, can’t we, coach?” The tall man nodded his head slowly, unsure about what had just happened to his star player. He’d only ever got this confident on the field, never off. Even the coach knew that. 

As all teams dispersed, y/n grabbed a hold of her favorite cheerleader’s arm, pulling her aside while Luke and Bobby walked away. They didn’t even notice y/n’s panicked rush. 

“Lyds, I think I’m in love with my best friend,” she whispered. Her eyes were wide, her tone hurried and filled with panic. The strawberry blonde’s lips curled up into a grin as she patted her best friend’s hair. 

“Oh, we know, sweetie…” she said, confusing y/n even more, “It’s about time you admitted it.” Y/N rolled her eyes and shook her head as she anxiously played around with the friendship bracelet around Lydia’s wrist. 

“I’ve been dreaming about my knight in shining armour since I was ten, Lyds. I never thought I would find it in my best friend. My best friend, Lydia!” The girl let out an endeared laugh as she tucked a flyaway behind the other girl’s ear. 

“I know, sweetie.” Her hand landed on y/n’s cheek and her thumb gently swiped across the skin. “Now, go! Tell him!” 

“Yeah! Right! Right!” she vigorously nodded her head, but she didn’t move a muscle. 

“Y/N… You’re gonna have to move if you wanna go and talk to him.” 

Y/N opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out, so she shut it again. “Right, yeah…” she swallowed a lump as the fear sank in. She had never had to tell her best friend she had feelings for him. All of this was new to her. How does one even confess that? 

“Sweetie, you can do this, okay? Just follow your gut.” Lydia’s tone was stern, but it was exactly what y/n needed to hear. “Like how you don’t calculate your moves on the track, but you just go! Like Gail Devers!” The mention of y/n’s absolute favorite athlete made her look up. 

“Gail Devers was actually very meticulous,” she corrected her best friend’s metaphor.

Lydia deadpanned, “Not the point, y/l/n.” She placed  her hands on y/n’s shoulders and turned her around, pushing her towards the field. “Now go! Shoo!” She waved her hands in a dismissive manner, and after one more hurried look, y/n sprinted across the field. “Atta girl!” she heard Lydia yell before making her way into the school, through corridors until she reached the boy’s locker room where Bobby had just walked out of.  

The boy glanced at her, and when he realized what she was there for, he nodded his head towards the closed door, giving her permission to go inside. He said, “He’s the last one in.” 

Y/N kissed Bobby on the cheek before opening the door. She was met with the stench of sweat and deodorant, but it didn’t phase her. Not today. The girl was on a mission. 

She weaved through the rows of lockers until she found him standing near a bench, zipping up his trusty black jeans, shirtless. Her eyes scanned his entire physique from head to to toe until she realized she was actually checking out her best friend in a way she hadn’t done before.

“Y/N?”  

For a second, she tried to calculate her next move, but then decided to throw it all overboard, and instead marched up to him. She grabbed his face with both hands and brought him down to meet her lips. His breath hitched in his throat before melting into the kiss and bringing his hands up to her waist, pulling her closer into him. 

“Give me that whole-ass universe,” she muttered as they pulled away to come up for air. Luke huffed, a relieved smile pulling at his lips. This was what he’d been dreaming of for so long; kissing her, holding her, cherishing her. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” he replied before kissing her again. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for ages,” he added, his words disappearing into her mouth.  

“Oh, I know.” 

With the same words their friendship started, started a whole new chapter in their lives and their relationship. Everything would change now, but neither of them cared. They were granted a whole new universe. 

*

*

*

JATP taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @rudysbay​ @thedarkqueenofavalon​​ @caitsymichelle13​​ @calamitykaty​ @wiselight​ @kcd15​​ @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​ @stars-soph​ @kinda-really-lost​ @notasofti​ 

Charlie/Luke taglist: @parkeret​​ @lukeys-giggle​ @gingerxarmy​ @lovesanimals​ @lolychu​ @perfectlywrongformend3s​ @luckylouiebug​ @camiladelrio98​ @myfriendscallmebeans​

Lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist! 

[dcbutinamrev]

"Who said I ever stopped?" for Lams?

Ask and you shall recieve! Maybe short, maybe long. Who knows. Let's see if I can write this in thirty minutes-

~~~

John Laurens sighs when he realizes what's missing at the aide-de-camp office table. He glances at the seat beside him, empty, cold. He huffs out a breath annoyingly, massaging the space between his brows with his forefinger and thumb, squeezing his eyes shut before letting his hand run through his honey colored hair.

He reaches across the table for the pitcher and with one hand gripping his coffee mug, pours himself another cup of joe, up to the brim. He sets the pitcher back down before grabbing the spoon and the smaller pitcher beside it. This one for the milk to add to it. He pours in two spoonfulls of milk before topping it off with a spoonful of sugar before stirring them together. He rests his jaw in his palm, his bright blue eyes--blue as the sky on an early spring's morning--ticks up behind him over his shoulder. He pinches his lips, furrowing his brows with slight annoyance.

Laurens has slept with an empty bed the previous night. His dear Alexander Hamilton had been writing drafts and corrospondences for His Excellency General George Washington endlessly. He's been restless constantly, twitchy. Laurens remembers waking up in the middle of the night to soft mumurs coming from nearby. Laurens had propped himself up on his elbow, his blonde hair flowing around him like a golden halo, a few bangs bouncing on his forehead before turning around to find, what do you know, Hamilton seated at his desk in their shared room. Hunched hover with tense shoulders and loose, disheveled and loose. His hand gripping the edge of his quill tightly.

Laurens remembers asking, "Alexander?"

He remembers clearly Hamilton breathing in sharply and his whole stature tenses. Hamilton lets out a shuddering breath before setting his quill down gently and with one arm draped the back of his chair and the other resting over the paper. Laurens tries to get a better look at the corrospondence, at the letter, whatever it is. But Hamilton seems to have noticed this and slides his arm up higher, his eyebrows high as well.

Laurens huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. Hamilton mirrors his position.

"You should be abed," Laurens says with a tight smile.

"You should too," Hamilton whispers, his voice steady.

Laurens sighs long and slow before swinging his legs around after flipping the bedsheets off of of him. "Alex..."

Hamilton sighs, running a hand through his unruly, loose, dark red hair before glancing back down at his unfinished letter before glancing up at the pile of unfinished and blank papers to be written and documents to be drafted and Lafayette's corrospondences to be edited. Laurens sees and feels the tiredness in his dear boy before pushing himself up from the edge of the bed and, with only wearing his white, linen nightshirt, makes his way across the floor. He stands behind Hamilton, his hand on his chairs before resting them on his shoulders. Laurens smiles softly with small triumph when he sees Hamilton relax almost instantly.

Before he realizes it, Laurens grabs hold of a small handful of Hamilton's hair and starts to comb it behind his ear. He shakes his head with awe. "I still wonder how you write like you're running out of time?"

Hamilton hums, a tight smile on his face as he leans into Laurens's touch. He tips his head back enough to meet Laurens's eyes and exhales longingly. Dreamily, almost.

"Well, my dear, if you've been working under His Excellency for more than a year rather than a few months--" Laurens rolls his eyes at this as he continues to detangle Hamilton's unkept auburn hair with his fingers. "--You'd get used to it."

"Hm," Laurens says in return. He arches an eyebrow with mere curiosity and bites his lower lip. "Won't your hand tire?"

Hamilton chuckles low before nodding, finally standing up from his wooden desk chair. Only standing up to Laurens's collarbone. "Oh, most certainly."

"Then why don't you stop, Alex?" Laurens says, tucking a loose hair behind his ear, out of those deep blue eyes that will occasionally make the impression of violet. "Take a break."

Hamilton's eyes searches back and forth, searching for something before finally leaning up to press a soft, quick kiss to Laurens's lips before returning to his seat, picking up his quill again.

"I can't," Hamilton says determinedly. "I can't, John. As much as I would like too, this army needs me..." He glances over his shoulder towards Laurens again. "Needs us. The Congressional Meeting begins in a few days time and I must finish these before hand so we ought to be prepared."

"Alexander," Laurens growls as he catches hold of Hamilton's wrist. Hamilton becomes still instantly. "Come back to sleep."

Hamilton flashes Laurens a small, reassuring smile. Though, in all actuality, Laurens doesn't find it reassuring at all. "John. I'll be there in a minute." He leans up to steal a quick kiss to his dear Laurens. "You need the rest."

Laurens opens his mouth to open to protest but clicks it shut when no arguments escaped. He only nods and obeys.

Now Laurens sits at the table the next morning, his coffee in his hands and a gloomy look upon his face while the others sound more cheerful. He eyes the stairs supciously, waiting for Hamilton to come down when fellow aide-de-camp Tench Tilghman asks, "Laurens? You alright?"

Laurens jolts in his seat, startled by the sudden voice breaking the silence in his head. He whips his head sharply over his shoulder to meet Tilghman's curious brown eyes. He clears his throat and nods. "Yes. Yes, my apologies, Tench. I'm fine, thank you."

"Are you sure?" he asks. Tilghman raises an eyebrow. "You looked like you saw a ghost or something."

Laurens shakes his head. "It's nothing...it's just...Alex...."

This catches Tilghman off guard. "Alexander?"

"Yes."

"What about him?"

Laurens puffs out a breath as he glances back towards the stairs to the second floor. "Nothing....it's just...his poor sleeping habits again."

"Ah, yes," Tilghman says, nodding with endorsement and confirmation. "Alexander the best writer out of all of us. Has he finally stopped?"

"Yes," Laurens groans. "I was finally able to convince him to go to bed around five in the morning."

"Who said I ever stopped?" A voice interrupts them.

Laurens turns to see Hamilton finally climbing down the stairs.

"Finally," Laurens huffs, shooting upright from the chair almost immediately. He guides Hamilton towards the kitchen, catching Hamilton off guard immediately. Laurens narrows his eyes at the shorter man, jabbing his finger at him and growls, "You and I are going to have a nice littel chat about your poor sleeping habits."

Hamilton laughs of all things, shaking his head, thinking, Oh, my dear Jack...you have a lot to learn...

[prouvaireafterdark]

Staring in the Blackness at Some Distant Star

I know it's been a while, but hopefully this direct follow up to Caught in the Moment from my Michael Sanders AU makes up for it! 💜

Also on AO3!

***

There are nights when Alex crawls into bed with bruises he’ll have to explain away to Michael in the morning already blooming on his skin.

On these nights, Alex draws his blankets close around himself and lives in the corner of his mind where things are different—where he’s older, stronger, and finally free from all the bullshit that comes with being Jesse Manes’ youngest, most disappointing son.

He pictures a future where he can walk down Main Street holding Michael’s hand and not give a single fuck who’s watching—or better yet, load up Michael’s pick up truck with their belongings and leave Roswell altogether.

And when he’s feeling particularly sorry for himself, he imagines what it would be like to have a family that accepts him as he is, that would even be interested in learning more about his life and the people in it that make him happy.

That kind of acceptance has felt like nothing but a pipe dream for so long that now, sitting at the kitchen table with Michael and his dad, Alex feels a little like he’s in the Twilight Zone.

Because after walking in on Alex sprawled on his living room floor and kissing his only son, Mr. Sanders didn’t yell or throw things or even kick Alex out of his house.

Because all Mr. Sanders has done is cook Alex dinner and ask him how his advanced guitar lessons are going.

Even just the fact that Michael’s dad cares enough to ask about his lessons—let alone remembers Alex mentioning them—defies logic. After years of his own father scoffing and rolling his eyes whenever he dares to talk about music, Alex has come to expect a certain level of apathy toward his interests from the adults in his life.

And yet here Mr. Sanders sits, listening attentively while Alex talks about the chord progressions he learned earlier this week.

It’s all a little hard to accept, if Alex is honest. So much so that, even as he lowers his guard, there’s a voice in his head warning him to be careful, preparing him for the possibility that this moment really is too good to be true.

But then Alex catches Michael smiling at him fondly across the table, and maybe it’s foolishly sentimental, but Alex trusts that smile more than anything. He knows it means he’s safe, that he’s loved, and it gives him hope that maybe this is real—that maybe Alex doesn’t have to stick to that familiar corner of his mind for a taste of the acceptance he’s spent his whole life wishing for.

But as with every other good thing in his life, Alex should have expected that his father would find some way to ruin it.

As dinner winds to a close, Alex’s phone vibrates in his pocket. He fishes it out and sees he has a new text from Flint. It’s a short message, but Alex’s blood runs cold the second he reads it.

15 minutes

“Hey,” Alex hears distantly, his attention grabbed more by the foot nudging his own under the table. He looks up from his phone to see concern on Michael’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I need to go home,” Alex stammers in response.

“Is everything okay?” Michael pries, the furrow in his brow growing deeper.

Alex swallows tensely, his stomach knotting up as he thinks of the fresh Hell he’s going to face if his dad gets home before he does.

“It will be if I get home in the next fifteen minutes,” Alex answers carefully.

He can feel Mr. Sanders’ questioning gaze on him as he offers, “I can drop you off now if you need.”

“No, I can do it,” Michael says immediately, already standing up and reaching for his keys on the kitchen counter.

“Not a chance, kid,” Mr. Sanders shuts him down.

Michael freezes where he stands, his head whipping abruptly in his father’s direction.

“What?” Michael asks, brow crinkling with confusion Alex can’t help but share. “Why not?”

“You’ll be too busy doing the dishes and cleaning your room,” Mr. Sanders tells him.

“Dad!” Michael starts to argue, but Mr. Sanders puts his foot down.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten you slacked on getting dinner started,” he says, before adding, “again.”

“That wasn’t even my fault,” Michael defends himself.

“Oh, so was it Alex’s fault then?” Mr. Sanders shoots back, raising one weathered eyebrow.

Alex flinches reflexively at the suggestion, his cheeks coloring, but Michael’s dramatic sigh steals his attention.

“Alright, fine,” Michael says, holding up his hands in surrender. “If you insist, old man.”

To anyone else’s ear, it would come across as a rude or petulant thing to say, but Michael somehow makes it sound like an endearment.

“Cute,” Mr. Sanders comments in a dry tone, and Alex can see his mouth turn up a little at the corners as he tries not to smile. “Now get started. Those dishes aren’t gonna wash themselves.”

Michael looks offended. “I’ve gotta say goodbye first.”

Alex’s heart jumps in his chest when Michael walks over to him and pulls him into his arms. It’s far from the most intimate hug they’ve shared, but Alex’s eyes still flick nervously over to where Mr. Sanders is patting himself down for his keys.

When he feels Michael’s lips brush against his cheek, Alex flushes and pulls back to look at him. Michael’s expression is soft, his eyes concerned and full of love as they track a path across Alex’s face.

God, Alex thinks, if Michael’s ever looked at me like this in front of his dad, no wonder he figured us out.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Michael whispers.

“Yeah,” Alex lies through a tight-lipped smile.

Michael frowns, clearly not buying it.

“Just don’t want to miss curfew,” Alex explains, hoping that will be enough. There’s a lot Michael doesn’t know about his dad and now isn’t really the best time to get into it.

This time, Michael sighs and nods in understanding.

“Call me when you get home?” he asks, and Alex’s heart melts a little at the need he hears in his voice.

Alex nods and reaches discreetly for Michael’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I will,” he assures him.

“You ready?” Mr. Sanders asks as he waits patiently by the door.

“Yeah,” Alex says, standing up a little straighter. “Let’s go.”

Inside the car, things are quiet—too quiet, even with the dad rock filtering into the cab of Mr. Sanders’ truck through the radio—and Alex is nervous again. His own ticking clock aside, he’s never been alone with Michael’s dad before and he can’t help but wonder if there’s an ulterior motive behind his offer for a ride. Alex tries to remind himself that Mr. Sanders has been nothing but nice to him all evening, but without Michael as a buffer that voice is back, reminding him that that doesn’t really mean shit.

Even his dad isn’t a bastard all the time.

The anticipation is unbearable and eventually Alex takes a breath and asks, “So is this the part where you give me the shovel talk?”

He’d been aiming for casual, but he doesn’t quite hit the mark. The corner of Mr. Sanders’ mouth ticks upward and Alex swallows tensely as he waits for a response.

“No,” Mr. Sanders answers lightly, eyes still on the road ahead.

“Oh,” Alex says, relaxing minutely. “Why not?”

“Don’t need to,” is all Mr. Sanders says.

Alex thinks about that, confused. “Why not?”

“Because I’ve been watching you, son,” Sanders explains, “and I think the idea of Michael hurting hurts you.”

Alex thinks back to all those afternoons he’s spent with Michael at his house or at the junkyard, remembering how hard he’d tried to not do or say anything that would give away his feelings whenever Mr. Sanders was around. He thought he’d been successful, but Michael must not be the only one who wears his heart on his sleeve.

“Am I wrong?” Mr. Sanders asks, and Alex realizes he’s been quiet too long.

“No,” Alex answers quickly. “No, you’re not.”

“Good,” Mr. Sanders nods.

He thinks that’s the end of it until Mr. Sanders asks him, “How we doin’ on time?” a minute later.

“Six minutes,” Alex says, double-checking his phone.

Mr. Sanders grunts in response and presses his foot on the gas pedal a little harder, familiar enough with Alex’s directions to know they’re cutting it close.

“Curfew’s awfully early for a boy your age, isn’t it?” Mr. Sanders comments as he turns down a nearby side street.

“I, uh, may have forgotten to tell my dad I was going out,” Alex admits, hoping the confession won’t bite him in the ass.

“Mm,” Mr. Sanders hums in understanding. “Well, at least you were just having dinner at my place. S’not like you were out doing something bad.”

Alex huffs a shallow, incredulous laugh. “I doubt he’ll see it that way, sir.”

“I can vouch for you if you need,” he offers, but Alex shakes his head. No good will come from his dad finding out he was spending time at Michael’s house, whether he knows they’re dating or not.

Mr. Sanders seems to turn that over in his mind for a moment before he asks, “Does your old man know?”

Alex doesn’t need to ask him what he means. He sighs and wraps his arms around himself a little defensively.

“Not about Michael,” he answers.

“I see.”

Mr. Sanders must take pity on him then because he lapses into silence once more. Alex fills the minutes by reflexively checking his phone until Mr. Sanders’ truck finally rolls to a stop outside his house.

Alex unbuckles his seatbelt quickly, but before he gets out of the car, Mr. Sanders says something that makes him pause, his hand still on the door handle.

“You’re a good kid, Alex,” he says, “and you’ve been good for Michael. As long as that stays true, you’re welcome to come over as often as you like.”

It takes a moment for Mr. Sanders’ words to fully sink in, and once they do, Alex’s eyes start to burn. After years of feeling unwelcome—hated, even—in his own home, there aren’t words for what that means to him.

He swallows roughly, choking down the emotion brewing inside him, and forces himself to smile.

“Thank you,” Alex says, and it doesn’t feel like nearly enough.

“Don’t mention it,” Mr. Sanders replies. “You should probably get going now. You’ve only got another two minutes.”

That lights a fire under Alex’s ass.

“Shit,” he says, slinging the strap of his messenger bag over his neck. “Thanks again, Mr. Sanders.”

Mr. Sanders’ lips twitch up in a small smile. “No problem, kid.”

Alex hears Mr. Sanders’ truck idle behind him as he books it to the front door. He fumbles for his keys and throws it open the second it’s unlocked.

“You can unclench,” he hears Flint call from the couch, his eyes not straying from the first person shooter he’s playing. “He’s not home yet.”

“Fuck you,” Alex grumbles as he closes the door behind him, but he releases a breath in relief all the same.

Alex climbs the stairs to his bedroom two at a time, shutting the door and letting his bag thud against the carpet once he’s inside. He collapses onto his bed and kicks his shoes haphazardly off his feet, mind reeling from the emotional rollercoaster he’s ridden tonight.

His phone buzzes in his hand a minute later, and Alex opens it to find a text from Michael.

Did you get home okay?

Shit, Alex thinks, dialing Michael immediately.

“Alex,” Michael says when he picks up on the second ring. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Alex says, taking care to keep his voice down so he isn’t overheard. “I just got home, so, crisis averted.”

“Okay, good,” Michael sighs, sounding relieved.

“Are you okay?” Alex asks a moment of silence later, rolling over onto his back so he can stare at the ceiling. “Doing the dishes can’t be that bad, can it?”

Alex can hear Michael laugh softly over the line.

“Sorry,” Michael says, and Alex can practically see him shaking his head at himself. “You just, um, kinda scared me when you left. You looked like you were, like, a minute away from having a panic attack. I was worried about you.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you,” Alex apologizes. “I just lost track of time, and, well—you know how my dad is,” he finishes vaguely, hoping Michael won’t probe deeper.

“It’s okay,” Michael assures him. ”I get it.”

There’s a lull where neither of them speaks, and Alex just lets the familiar sound of Michael’s breathing distract him from the tight feeling growing in his throat.

He blinks back to attention when he hears Michael ask, “So how was the drive with my dad? He didn’t do anything embarrassing, did he?”

“No,” Alex says quickly, thinking back to his conversation with Mr. Sanders. “No, he was… he was great, actually.”

“Yeah?” Michael asks, sounding a little surprised. “No awkward ‘If you hurt my son…’ talk?”

“No,” Alex says. “He said I didn’t need one, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yup. Apparently, I’m not exactly subtle about how in love with you I am.”

“You’re really not,” Michael laughs, sounding inordinately pleased. Alex closes his eyes to that happy sound, picturing Michael’s wide smile as it washes over him. “Did he say anything else?”

Alex recalls their final exchange before he left the car, the one that made him want to cry. It hits him all over again—the extraordinary validation and impossible kindness Michael’s father offered him as easily as he’d offered him a ride home—and Alex once again feels like he’s on the precipice of some big, undefined emotion.

“Yeah,” Alex replies, and he finds the words catching in his throat when he adds, “He, um, he said I was good for you and that I could come over any time.”

“Oh fuck yeah,” Michael says, ignorant of the emotions weighing down Alex’s heart and the tears gathering in his eyes. “I hope you know I plan to exploit the hell out of that ‘cause I literally always want you over.”

Alex’s answering laugh comes out a little wet, and it’s then that Michael notices something’s off.

“Alex?” he asks.

“Yeah?” Alex responds, his voice breaking just enough to betray him.

“Are you—Alex, are you crying?”

Alex tries to answer him, to say something, anything, but he just—can’t. Not without releasing the sob building up inside him. Instead, he rolls onto his side again and draws his limbs close to his chest, his phone still pressed tight to his ear.

“Alex,” Michael says his name again, soft as a whisper this time, and fuck, Alex wishes he was still with Michael, wishes he could just tuck himself against his chest and forget everything else. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Sorry,” Alex sniffles, feeling incredibly stupid. “Nothing’s wrong, I just—“ Alex breaks off to take a deep breath to collect himself, but the tears just keep falling down his cheeks. “Fuck, sorry, this is so dumb.”

“Hey, no, it’s not,” Michael tries to soothe him. “Just breathe. I’m right here.”

Alex closes his eyes and focuses on his breathing again, willing his tears away. It takes another minute, but eventually they stop.

“Sorry,” Alex apologizes again once his voice returns.

“You don’t need to apologize, Alex,” Michael says. “Can you just tell me what’s wrong? Is there anything I can do to help?”

“It’s stupid,” Alex says again.

“If you’re upset about it, it’s not stupid,” Michael argues. “Not to me.”

Alex lets out a sigh before he answers. “I just… I never thought I’d hear anyone say that to me, I guess.”

“Say what?”

“That I’m good for my boyfriend,” Alex explains. “That I’m... welcome, at his house, whenever—whenever I want to be there.”

“Oh, baby,” Michael sighs sympathetically. “That’s not stupid, that’s—really fucking sad, but it’s not stupid.”

Alex sniffs as he shrugs. He doesn’t need to explain the rest of his thoughts to Michael—that he’d convinced himself that Michael’s dad would throw him out or worse the second he found out about them. They’ve had that conversation already, months ago now, tucked away together in the bed of Michael’s truck with the desert sky a starry blanket overhead. He’d been so sure things would get harder for them, not easier, and the fact that his relentless cynicism turned out to be wrong, well—

His gratitude is a little overwhelming.

There’s a moment where neither of them speaks, both of them unsure what to say, until Michael huffs a sigh in frustration.

“Fuck, I just really want to hold you right now,” he says.

Alex buries his face in his pillow and makes a noise that says he agrees.

“Do you think you could sneak out tonight?”

“I doubt it,” Alex says. His dad will be jet-lagged when he gets back and that means he’ll probably be up all night.

“Hmm…” Michael hums in thought. “What do you say we cut gym tomorrow, then? We could come back to my place and make out while Buffy reruns play in the background.”

“You had me at ‘cut gym’,” Alex says, and Michael laughs, the sound warming Alex from the inside out.

“There’s my boy,” Michael says fondly, and hopeless affection rushes through Alex at Michael’s gentle possessiveness.

“I love you,” he says, wishing he could see the way Michael’s eyes light up when those words hit.

“I love you too,” Michael replies easily, and it would be a perfect moment if not for the daunting sound of his father’s SUV rolling into the driveway just outside Alex’s window.

“Shit, I gotta go,” Alex says, climbing out of bed. “Have fun cleaning your room.”

Michael whines a little at that. “I won’t, but thank you.”

“Well,” Alex says, picking up his shoes and placing them in his closet where they belong, “what if I said that if your room is clean when I get there tomorrow, we’ll do more than just make out?”

“I would say that I’m suddenly very motivated,” Michael answers.

“There’s my boy,” Alex says, and Michael laughs at the callback.

“You know me so well,” Michael says. “Anything specific I should plan for, or are you gonna surprise me?”

Before Alex can answer, he hears the front door slam on its hinges and nerves start to coil in his belly all over again.

“I’ll surprise you,” he says, reaching into his messenger bag and grabbing the book he’s reading for English.

“Can’t wait,” Michael replies, his voice dipping down seductively, but all Alex notices are the heavy footsteps on the stairs.

“Alright, I really gotta go now,” Alex says.

“If you insist,” Michael sighs. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Alex echoes and hangs up.

His bedroom door opens a moment later and when it does, Alex is sitting at his desk with his book, the picture of innocence.

“What are you doing?” Jesse Manes asks him, still in his uniform.

“Reading,” Alex says, waving the book so his father can see.

He steps further into Alex’s bedroom, his eyes doing a sweep for anything out of place. When he doesn’t find anything, Jesse comes up to Alex’s desk and plucks the book he’s reading right out of his grasp.

“Night by Elie Wiesel,” he reads the cover aloud, turning it over in his hands.

“It’s for English,” Alex explains as his father flips idly through the thin book. He tosses it unceremoniously on Alex’s desk when he’s done.

“Flint ordered a pizza,” he says. “Should be here in thirty.”

“Okay,” Alex nods, trying not to think about how he’s somehow going to have to eat a second dinner. “I’ll be down soon to set the table.”

“Good,” Jesse says, turning on his heel to head back the way he came. Alex watches him go, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding when the door closes behind him.

That is, until it opens again a second later and his father peeks his head back in.

“Oh, and Alex?” Jesse says, face hard and impassable as stone.

“Yeah?”

“You better have that black shit off your face when you come down.”

“Yes, sir,” Alex answers, ducking his head and silently cursing himself for forgetting to remove his makeup when he first got home.

Without another word, Jesse walks off down the hall, leaving Alex’s door ajar.

When his footsteps have completely receded down the stairs, Alex sinks into his desk chair with a heavy sigh, his head tipping back up toward the ceiling.

Tomorrow can’t come fast enough.

[kindness-bliss]

New Beginnings Ch. 8

Timothy Thatcher x OC

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: none

Maya got ready at her shoot as she looked at herself in the mirror and scrolled through her instagram feed to let time pass, searching Tim’s name in the search bar as she looked through as raised a brow at how many fans adored him and posted pictures with him and events   “Well damn, he’s wanted” she nodded impressed as she continued to read captions, not understanding most of them since they were in German, raising a brow as she saw heart emojis on captions “Too bad he’s mine”. She grinned as she saw more and more from men she assumed were his friends always talking about how respectful and hardworking he was in the business   She sat up startled from her lurking when she heard a familiar voice and sighed “Are you kidding me ? What the hell are you doing here ? This is a private shoot”    Marcel sighed as he stepped through and thanked the security guard “I saw you on the same company’s page who works hair and makeup for NXT, I put 2 and 2 together when I saw their stories and you happened to be tagged. I know, it’s very stalker of me”    “Extremely” she answered sternly as she covered herself in her robe “who does that ? This is my job you psycho. Once again, head empty no thoughts in that pretty big ass head of yours”    “I don’t even know what that means” He admitted quietly as he stood in shame in front of her “are-are you calling me stupid ?” Maya let out a breath as she shook her head “Kind of, now tell me why you’re here ?” she asked as she got touched up “and make it quick preferably, this is my work remember”     “What’s this I heard about Tim insulting you ? Why didn’t you tell me when it happened ? I’m gonna assume that’s why you were crying the other day at the store ?” he asked, giving a small nod when he saw her face look down at the floor “and yes, Walter told me everything so don’t worry you don’t need to go into details I just wanna know if you’re okay”   “I am fine, we’re all good” she nodded “I’m going to see him tomorrow, he has a match and he invited me”

  “What ?” he whispered as he looked up at her “y-you’re gonna go see him ? After what he did ?”. Marcel knew how much wrestling meant to him, how much he prided himself in his work. He knew Tim inviting Maya over was a big step for him in how he felt about her.

  “Absolutely I am, I wanna see him wrestle and how he is in that environment. I’m gonna assume you’re gonna be there too ?” Maya asked as they got her ready 

  “Yeah, we have a match too and well chances are Tim’s gonna introduce you to me so what are we gonna do ?”

She stiffened at his question and fixed her curls as she looked in the mirror as she slid off her robe revealing a one piece bathing suit with a deep plunge as she turned to look at him “If you think I’m gonna tell Tim that you and I had a 3 year long relationship then you’re dead wrong. No way I would ever tell him something like that at his workplace, so let’s get this straight alright ? Tomorrow you keep your mouth shut and you tell your little friends or whomever to not say a thing or I’ll have my other model friends put a word out that you guys like screwing around when you’re on the clock”

     Marcel widened his eyes at her look and tone as he clenched his jaw “Maya I-”

“Maya nothing” she snapped back “You really think I didn’t know ? You really think Walter also wouldn’t tell me that you tried to get Alex and Fabio or whatever the fuck his name is to tell Tim for you ? To do your...our dirty work ? He texted me everything just before I got here, how you wanted to tell Tim abruptly and then I’d have to deal with the rest. Alex ? Yeah did you forget I also helped his wife out with her bridesmaid dresses and got to know the both of them really well ? He sent me an instagram DM telling me everything too, basically apologizing for your shitty actions. You’re a spineless little coward Marcel, 3 years and you haven’t changed one damn bit”

  “I-I...it w-wasn’t like that” he stuttered out nervously stepping forward

“Bull shit !” she exclaimed as she slapped him across the face and breathed heavily

Marcel stood back as he rubbed his cheek and gave a frown as his blue eyes stared at hers “I’m sorry, I just….I still love you” he whispered as he left hastily

  Maya sighed as she rubbed the feeling back in her hand and let the makeup artist fix her eyes “Mickey, did you tell him I was here ?”

 “You try saying no to that piece of German goodness” Mickey shook his head “His accent came out and I melted, then he did the whole pleading puppy dog thing with his blue eyes and well, I was sold. I’m sorry Maya, I didn’t realize how big of an issue it would be. You really gave it to him good though, he walked away as if you stomped on his heart”  

“Yeah well I didn’t wanna do that exactly” she admitted “He’s just being sneaky and I hate it, it reminds me of what happened when we were in a bad spot”   

“Well I’ll tell you this girl, Timothy Thatcher is all man and would never do that shit to you” he giggled Maya raised a brow as she let out a chuckled “and how do you know I’m seeing Tim, what’s going on here that I’m not aware of ?”   Mickey smirked as he dabbed some gloss on her lips “Tim from what I’ve seen and heard is quiet but apparently he told some of the guys that you’re gonna go see him and he’s a little...giddy. Now I’ve been working hair and makeup there a while and I’ve been there since he got there and nothing has made that man do a complete 180 like you have”   She blushed as she listened and looked around the room “So you think he...likes me likes me ? Like he wants me to be his...you know ?”   “Girlfriend ?” he chuckled “oh yeah, I heard from Candice, who heard from her husband Johnny who heard from his friend Oney that Tim told him tomorrow was pivotal”  “Oh” she whispered softly as she walked with him “I’m not gonna expect anything though, especially after this whole fiasco. I’m gonna have a nice day with him tomorrow and focus on that. Now let’s get this thing done so I can call him”   “You’re just as whipped as he is” Mickey chuckled as he helped set her up ______________________________________________________________ “What’s with that face ?” Tim asked Oney “You’re red and you’ve been on your phone for like 5 minutes, Oney ?” he sighed as he walked over and took his phone and let out a tight cough “this-this from today ?”   “Yeah” Oney nodded as he took his phone back and put it in his pocket 

“Um all I can and want to say is….you are one very very lucky man Tim, very lucky”

  “I like her for other things besides her looks” Tim rolled his eyes as he grabbed his gym bag “she’s a good person, she’s understanding, she’s really smart and funny. She’s a great cook, she’s super funny” he chuckled “and she-what ? why are you looking at me like that ?”

  Oney grinned as he walked with him to the showers “You really like this girl, it’s not just a little rendezvous like you had thought it’d be. I’ve known you for a while and never have I seen you act this way towards a girl”

  “Don’t” Tim warned as he took off his shirt “It’s just that I like her and I feel she feels the same about me and you know that’s it”

  “So it’s okay if she dates other guys while talking to you ?”

“I never said that” he said almost immediately as he turned around “Why ? Is she ? Have you heard anything ?”

 “Chill out, I was just joking but point proven” Oney chuckled “I say you ask her out, officially like to be your girlfriend”

  Tim nodded as grabbed his things “I was thinking about that after tomorrow”

“I think you should” Oney nods as he looked around “oh look it’s Marcel, shit look at his face” he grimaced

  “What the hell happened to you ?” Tim asked concerned “Your cheek is red as can be, are you okay ?”

“We need to talk” Marcel said sternly “Alone, and it has to be now”

Tim nodded as he changed and followed him outside

   Maya arrived at her apartment as she exited her elevator and saw Tim standing against her door “hey” she grinned “what are you doing here ?”

  “So when were you gonna tell me you were engaged to one of my closest friends ? Or did you plan on keeping that a secret forever ?” he asked wasting no time as he crossed his arms trying his best to stay calm

  Her stomach turned as she blinked trying her best to catch her breath “I-I…. Tim listen, I wanted to tell you I did, I promise I did but things happened and then the Walter thing and I just couldn’t find the appropriate chance to do so but I promise I was. I promise, you have to believe me” Maya pleaded as she reached for his hand flinching when he yanked it back

  “I don’t believe a word you said, I don’t. I don’t even trust anything you’ve told me in the past, probably more lies from you. I’m not gonna insult you or demean you like I did last time because quite frankly...you’re not worth it” he said coldly as he stepped back “Have a nice life and don’t contact me again”    

 “Tim, please don’t do this” she whispered tearfully as she grabbed his arm lightly

“Don’t touch me” he responded quietly as he carefully lifted her hand and placed it by her side “Goodbye Maya”

  He left her apartment quickly, and didn't look back knowing if he saw her face he wouldn’t be able to leave. Once in his car, he wiped his eyes quickly as he turned on the radio and sped off back to his place where he knew he could release his emotions freely and privately

  “What did you do !” she practically screamed into her phone “You fucking told him !”

“It needed to be said” Marcel said quietly “I’m sorry, I am but we both know you were gonna wait it out too long and it would only make things worse. I did this for the both of us”

  “I fucking hate you” she spat out “and I will never ever speak to you again in my life, ever. You’re dead to me” she hung up

  Marcel rubbed his face as he threw his phone across his room and laid down in bed as he looked up at the ceiling and drifted to sleep, trying his hardest to forget about the chaos he selfishly created

  All eyes were on Tim as he entered the Capitol wrestling center the next morning, he heard and saw it all as he walked into the locker room. The looks of pity people gave him, the mumbles and whispers they gave each other as rumours about what had happened at the gym went around. None of it mattered, at least not to him. The damage had been done and if there was one thing that was hurting him other than his heart it was his pride. He knew deep down it had been kept for him for a reason, but the lying and deceiving still hurt.

  “Hey” Marcel said quietly as he opened his locker “Listen I won’t bother you but I just want to say I’m sorry about what happened and it's my fault entirely. Maya wanted to tell you after today” he finally admits “After your match, she wanted you to have a good match and then break it down to you on he own time and I selfishly told you because I still love her and in my stupid head I thought that once you knew and let her know she would somehow want me but instead she told me I’m dead to her”

   Tim nodded as he laced up his boots and didn’t bother to look at him “yeah well, that makes two of us. I don’t want her around me, I don’t wanna hear from her again or anything like that. It’s done and over with and we should just not speak of her again. She’s something of the past and well I’m not gonna hold your past against you”

  Marcel furrowed his brow “Y-you’re not going to attempt to talk to her ? She’s pretty sad Tim….”

“Nope” he shook his head “She’s the one who started this so it ends, I don’t like things like that and I can’t just let it slide by. Her choice was made to lie, so now we leave it at that please. I don’t care nor do I wish to hear about her again”

  “I understand” Marcel nodded as he put on his tracksuit and headed down seeing everyone glare at him as he sped down the hallway to catering sitting down by himself in a table and beckoning over Fabian and Alex “Over here guys”

    “No thanks” Alex muttered as he looked at him and turned around “I prefer not to deal with you unless it’s necessary for tv”

“Agreed” Fabian nodded

“I know it was a mistake okay, you can stop with the harsh punishment.I should have never tried to involve you two either and I’m sorry I did. I regretted this whole thing as soon as I opened my mouth and saw his face. I was selfish and it was wrong, can we just stop now ? Please” he pleaded “I hurt Tim, I hurt Maya, Walter isn’t answering any of my messages or calls. I get it now, I do” Marcel rambled “Please just sit with me, you don’t have to talk to me but just sit with me so I can at least have some company while everyone stares at me”

    “No” they both answered in unison as they shook their heads and left him alone

Marcel looked down as he played with his plate of food feeling all eyes on him as he tried his hardest to ignore the stares and whispers and took out his phone seeing still no messages or calls from Walter and sent one last message   “Hasst du mich jetzt ?” (do you hate me now ?) “Nein, nur sehr enttäuscht” (no, just very disappointed)

He sighed and put his phone away as he shook his head, upset at himself for what he had done but knowing deep down he didn’t regret it. Maya was his one true love, the one person who understood him and helped him cope with the loss of his father and deal with the emotions rather than ignore them and hold them in.

  “Are you gonna go after her ?” Tim asked nonchalantly as he sat with him “because you can, I don’t care”

  “What ?” Marcel asked his head shot up quickly

“Don’t act stupid Marcel, you still love her and I know you did this in a way to get me to be mad at her so I”d leave her alone and therefor you could go after her”

   He knew him so well, so well it truly fucked with him “Yeah” Marcel nodded “I let her go once and it ruined me and now she’s here and right now she wants nothing to do with me but I’ll give her that space and then I’ll fight, I’ll fight like I should’ve fought for her 3 years ago and this time, she’ll end with me” he looked in his older friends eyes “We’ll get that happy ending we both wanted”

  Tim simply give a short nod as he sipped his water “Then go ahead”

Marcel looked around as he got up and left back to the locker room, not wanting to cause anymore awkwardness between them and sat by himself as he listened to music

  “Well if it isn’t the life ruiner” Oney rolled his eyes as he stood in front of him “Are you happy with your actions ? With ruining the one thing giving Tim genuine happiness ?”

  “Oney, please” he rubbed his face “This is something you don’t understand, don’t get involved”

“You ruined the one thing my friend wanted, I’m sure as hell gonna get involved you traitor” he shoved him 

  Marcel sighed “Don’t do this, I don’t have the energy to-” he stumbled back as he held his eye and groaned

“You deserve that and way fucking more” Oney spat out as he left ______________________________________________________________    Maya wiped her eyes for what seemed like the 500th time as she once again got sent to voicemail and let out a frustrated cry getting up when she assumed her takeout was delivered “I said to just leave it at the door” she whined putting on her hoodie “stop knocking !” she finally yelled as she opened the door ready to rage “I clearly said-” her eyes widened at the scene in front of her “what the hell happened to you ?” she asked   

“Oney punched me” Marcel said quietly as he removed the ice bag he had and revealed a bruised and bloodied eye

  “Oney ? That’s Tim’s friend” she said as he remembered his face from the gym

“Yes him, he punched me in the locker room for….for what happened” he said quietly “I needed to get out of there and the only place I could think of was here. I know you hate me and wish I was better off dead but I just had to come. I’ll leave though if you want me to”

  Maya looked up at him as she opened her door and stepped aside “come in”

He stepped inside and sat down on her couch “I’m sorry, I am so so sorry” he whispered “I acted so selfishly”

    “What’s done is done” she whispered “You unfortunately can’t take it back, and truth be told you were right” she admitted “I would’ve just kept waiting and waiting to tell him and let time pass by, in a way what you did benefited me more than anyone Marcel, you did the hardest part and all I had to do was explain myself”

  He shrugged as he bit the inside of his cheek and looked up

“Don’t cry” Maya chuckled weakly “I’ve been crying since last night, and I’m positive I can cry for the both of us and this whole fiasco

  “I’m not” he blinked away tears quickly

“You’re doing the thing, the cheek thing and looking up. You really think I wouldn’t forget how you try to hide emotions after all this time ? she scooted over as she gently patted his hand “You’re the ugliest crier too” she joked trying her best to lighten him up

Marcel gave a light laugh as he sniffled “You’re really good that you know ?”

  Maya gave him a small grin as she dabbed his cheek with a tissue and got the alert of her food delivery “stay for dinner ?”

“Absolutely” he answered as he nodded. Sometimes life truly does work in weird weird ways.

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Three

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven,

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 4.2k+

Warnings: Feels! I definitely got feels writing this!

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor (Eventual), Alex Danvers x Kelly OlsenIn 

This Part: It’s the Christmas concert!

As always B!D is named.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @thewitchandtheassassin , @natasha-danvers , @life-is-hella-unfair , @finleyfray​, @supergirl-writingz​

Emma Danvers paces back and forth backstage. Her blonde, wavy hair was down with loads of volume. Her long, glittery, white gold dress swishing against the floor as she paced. Emma was slightly worried about the very deep plunging neckline but her stylist managed to find material that matched her skin tone to accomplish the allusion. They understood why Emma didn’t want to show lots of skin, especially as kids were watching. But they believe that if you’ve got it, flaunt it. And Emma definitely had it.

Emma takes a deep breath as she can hear the audience beginning to enter the huge theatre and her nerves start shooting all over the place. The rehearsals have gone the best they could with only five days to practice. But, Emma still worries she could have done more.

“There you are!” Emma turns around and smiles at Karen, the choir leader and director. A grey haired, black woman, who was ready to put Emma in her place if she became a diva. But to her surprise, Emma Danvers is anything but. “Everyone is in the rehearsal room. Do you want to warm up with us?”

“I’d love to!” Emma says eagerly and follows Karen, placing a hand on her shoulder. “How is everyone feeling?”

“Nervous, excited, scared, joyful, wanting to throw up every minute!” Karen laughs loudly and Emma smiles as she hears the choir’s nervous chatter inside the rehearsal room.

“Basically how I’m feeling all in one!” Emma jokes as they stand outside the door.

“Ready?” Karen asks.

“You bet.” Emma nods and Karen opens the door to thunderous applause. Emma goes in after her and joins the cheering and foot stamping. After a few minutes of getting everyone pumped Karen holds up her hands and instantly everyone quietens down. They do fifteen of vocal and physical warm ups and Emma can’t help but feel a bit sad at knowing after the concert she won’t be working with the choir again. Not until her new album at least. Having already planned some songs she could do with the choir.

“Fifteen minutes everyone!” The stage manager calls from the door.

Nerves instantly flood Emma again and she bites the inside of her lip. She watches Karen hold up her hands and the excited chatter dies down.

‘She holds such power and authority!’ Emma thinks admiringly.

“I’m not going to say much. Just that I am very proud of each and every one of you. Your commitment over the past few days has been phenomenal-”

Emma nods and claps her hands lightly around the group. Many make eye contact with her and smile brightly.

“- and all I ask is that you enjoy yourselves out there tonight. Sing your hearts out and let’s show the world what Kingdom Choir can do!”

Everyone applauds and Karen looks to Emma, tilting her head asking if she wants to say something. Emma smiles and nods. Karen lifts her hands again and everyone stands to attention.

“I just wanted to say a huge, big, thank you to all of you. When I was told that the previous act had pulled out, you guys instantly came to my mind and I’m so glad Karen said yes!” Emma reaches out and places a hand on Karen’s shoulder. Who covers Emma’s hand with her own.

“Now, I know some of y’all were a bit sceptical when y’all heard y’all’d be singing with me.” Emma puts on an over the top country twang, causing a few giggles and agreements. She switches back to her normal voice. “But thank you for giving me the chance to show you what I can do. This has truly been a wonderful experience and I’m going to really treasure it as I move into the next part of this journey.” Emma smiles around at the group before continuing.

“The profits from the seats and those paying to view this online have gone way past the expectation. Meaning even more money towards the equipment needed for the children’s hospital and really that is the main reason we are here. To help those in need, to show compassion and to hold out a hand. So, as Karen has said, just sing your hearts out.” The group applaud loudly and stomp their feet, ready to go out onto the stage and give the performance of their lives.

Emma turns and leads the group out. She plays with her hands as she mentally prepares herself to become Emma the singer.

“Here you are!” A sound technician hands Emma her microphone. The curtain was still down and would be raised as the show begins.

“Thanks.” Emma waits by the wings and lets Karen and the choir go past her. She holds out her right hand and everyone high fives her as they get onto the stage.

The announcement comes over the speakers that the show is about to begin. The crowd cheers and Emma takes a deep breath as she steps onto the stage. She looks at the amazing decorations, a huge, decorated Christmas tree stands at the other end of the stage. Fairy lights are everywhere giving the huge stage a cosy and warm feel. She looks at the orchestra and the choir, giving them encouraging smiles. The countdown begins and the crowd joins in. Finally it reaches zero and the curtain slowly rises up.

‘Here we go!’ Emma thinks as ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ starts playing.

-- -- --

Kara can’t help but bounce up and down in excitement as the Superfriends wait for the concert to start. The atmosphere in the theatre is electric and buzzing. They are sitting near the front in the middle of the huge theatre.

“Kara!” Alex whispers to her sister. “Can you please stop bouncing?!”

Kara immediately stops and looks apologetically at the redhead. “Sorry Alex! I’m just so excited!”

“So am I! But you don’t see me bouncing up and down like a jack in the box!” Alex laughs and shakes her head.

“Kara?” Eliza says next to Lena, who is sitting next to Kara. Lena had offered to swap with Eliza so she could sit next to Kara, but Eliza refused. Stating she was happy where she is. Kara whips her head round to her adopted mother. “Have you remembered to put the dampers on?” Eliza says quietly, not wanting to be overhead. Kara nods and shows the light on the frame of her glasses. When it became clear Emma was going to be in a loud band, Eliza and Alex had worked on equipment for Kara to drown out a lot of the noise that would overwhelm her. That’s if Kara remembered to turn them on. At many gigs Alex would have to engage the device when she saw Kara flinching from over exposure.

Eliza smiles at her daughter and goes back to reading the programme. “I still can’t believe Emma managed to sort this out in so little time!” Eliza says to no one in particular. She wasn’t meant to be in National City for another few days but due to Emma performing she decided to change her plans and come a few days early.

Lena looks down at her own programme, the choice of songs showing a wide variety of hymns and modern songs. “Knowing Emma though, she can do anything she puts her mind to.”

“That is true.” Eliza smiles at the CEO. “Thank you for giving Emma this opportunity. She was so excited when she called about it.”

“I’m the one that should be thanking her!” Lena smiles brightly. “I still can’t believe the amount of people outside trying to buy tickets off us!”

“Yea!” Sam agrees next to Ruby, who is sat next to Eliza. “I had one guy offer me $10,000 for Ruby and my ticket!”

“$10,000?” Kara yells with wide eyes.

“Yea! Mom almost took it too!” Ruby grins as Sam playfully nudges her daughter. But before Sam can comment she’s interrupted by a voice over the speakers.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! The concert is about to start-” Kara cheers loudly along with most of the theatre. Lena claps and beams with her.

The twenty second countdown begins and all the Superfriends join in. Lena can practically feel herself vibrating with anticipation. As zero is displayed the curtain slowly ascends and Emma appears. Lena’s breath is immediately stolen as she takes her in. Her eyes roaming over the shiny, white gold ball gown.

“She looks so beautiful!” Kara whispers in Lena’s ear, who nods in agreement.

The song starts and Emma lifts the microphone to her lips.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas.

Whoops and cheers sound from the crowd as Emma’s strong, velvet voice sings out.

Pride fills the Superfriends immediately and Alex can’t help but tear up. Kara reaches down and takes a hold of her hand. They smile at each other and focus on their sister.

As the tempo picks up Emma and the choir start dancing. Everyone in the audience gets onto their feet clapping and dancing along.

Lena is blown away by Emma’s performance. How she seems to include everyone in the audience, from those right at the front to those in the balcony seats looking down.

Cause baby all I want for Christmas is You!

The crowd cheers when Emma hits the high note and continues to improvise with the choir.

-- -- --

All I want for Christmas.

As Emma finishes the last notes of the song the audience roars in applause. Emma bows her head for a moment in acknowledgement. Raising her head she puts the microphone to her lips.

“Thank you!” She says gratefully and the audience still cheers. “Thank you!” Emma can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the love she is receiving. She looks all around the theatre and to those in the ‘god seats’ high above her. “Thank you so much! Please take your seats.”

She walks to the grand piano and takes a sip of her water hidden from view. “Well, that went well.” Emma says into the microphone, causing the audience to laugh. “I must say you are all in fine voice tonight!” A few cheers call out. Emma swears she hears her sisters among them. “But, before we do any more songs, please put your hands together for Kingdom Choir and the wonderful National City orchestra!”

Emma turns to them and applauds. Careful not to whack her microphone. Not wanting to annoy the sound technician.

“Seriously these guys are superheroes. As you know, we haven’t had long to prepare this and the level of commitment and energy these guys have… It’s just been amazing.” Taking another sip of her water she places it back in its hiding spot and walks back to the centre of the stage.

“So, ready for another song?”

“YES!” The audience cheer loudly.

Emma nods at the conductor and the first notes of ‘O Holy Night’ start playing.

-- -- --

Lena is sure she is going to have goosebumps permanently on her skin for the rest of her life. The level of passion and power in Emma’s voice is breathtaking. Throughout the song it feels like a warmth Lena can’t describe fills the theatre. As if heaven had entered and the angels were singing along. Lena’s vision blurs and she blinks in surprise. Tears fall down her cheeks and she wipes them away with her finger. She sees Kara look over at her and they smile softly at each other. Kara wraps an arm around her best friend and they continue watching Emma.

As the song closes the applause is again deafening. Lena stands to her feet immediately, still wiping tears from her face.

“Thank you.” Emma’s voice is barely heard over the roar of the crowd. After a few minutes she motions with her hands for the audience to sit. Finally they do and Emma’s eyes lock with Lena’s for a moment and Lena gives her a tearful smile. Emma returns it, also focusing on her Mom, sisters and friends before looking around the theatre. “How about another fast one?”

-- -- --

The next few songs has everyone dancing on their feet and Emma dances along with them. Not wanting tonight to end.

“Wooo! Now that… That was fun!” Emma breathes out, trying to catch her breath. She laughs as the choir calls out in agreement. “Can you believe we are over halfway in our evening together?!”

“Noooo!!!” Emma laughs as she hears Kara yell loudly.

“But, if I may-” Emma takes another quick sip before putting the water down. “We all know why we are here tonight.” She walks slowly back to the centre of the stage. You could hear a pin drop. The theatre is so quiet as they watch her. “To support the utterly commendable work done at The Luthor Children’s Hospital. Now even though most of us haven’t used the service, and God forbid if you even need to. But, we all know the importance of our health and for our hospitals to have the best equipment and staff to continue serving our city.”

“I’ve gone to the hospital many times to visit the kids. Especially those who used their Make A Wish to meet me.” Emma smiles sadly, always remembering the little faces of joy as she’d enter the room. “And in the hospital, they have a wall, a special, in memoriam wall.” Taking a deep breath Emma swallows the emotion threatening to spill out. The amount of pictures she saw as she took the time to look over them. Such young children, taken far too soon.

“I’m reminded of the cold hard truth, that we don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring. That we lose those we love along the way.” Emma takes another deep breath and looks up at the ceiling above her. Remembering her Dad. The one she remembers before he was taken and changed. The one she grieves. “And yes, Christmas is a joyous time, to celebrate and remember. But, if I may, I’d like to pay tribute to those no longer with us.”

Softly the piano starts playing and Emma pulls herself together to sing the song. On the screen behind her photos of the departed, sent in by the public, is shown.

The fire is burning, the room's all aglow  Outside the December wind blows Away in the distance The carollers sing in the snow.

The audience stays quiet as Emma gently sings.

She can’t help but remember the last Christmas with her Dad. How they played in the snow with her sisters and sat around a roaring fire once they changed out of their wet clothes. The feeling of sitting on her Dad’s lap and have him wrap his big arms around her.

Everybody's laughing The world is celebrating And everyone's so happy Except for me tonight.

Emma uses more of her support to increase the volume in her voice for the chorus. She tries to keep her eyes off the monitors showing the pictures of peoples loved ones.

Because I miss you most at Christmas time And I can't get you, get you off my mind Every other season comes along and I'm all right But then I miss you, most at Christmas time.

She makes it through the next few verses and chorus but feels she’s starting to break near the bridge. Knowing the next set of photos are of Jeremiah and her family. She had asked her Mom and sisters if it would be okay and they readily agreed. But, now Emma isn’t sure if it was the best idea.

In the springtime those memories start to fade with the April rain

A picture of a child Emma on top of Jeremiah’s shoulders is shown when they went on a long hike. A young Alex and Kara are standing either side of Jeremiah, they are all smiling brightly at the camera.

Through the summer days till autumn's leaves are gone

Another photo comes on showing Emma and Jeremiah asleep on the sofa. Emma is resting against her Dad’s chest and he has his arms around her.

I get by without you till the snow begins to fall.

The last picture of Emma and Jeremiah flash up, showing the family's last Christmas together. One where they are all sat around the table having their Christmas meal.

Emma closes her eyes for a moment, remembering that last Christmas so clearly. How she always struggled with Christmases after that. They were never the same.

When she opens her eyes to sing the last chorus tears stream down her face. Her voice cracks but she pushes through.

And then I miss you most at Christmas time And I can't get you, no, no, no, get you off my mind Every other season comes along and I'm all right

Emotion overtake Emma and a sob escapes her lips. She lowers the microphone slightly and drops her head. The orchestra pauses. A few people in the crowd cheer in support of Emma. Who takes a shuddering breath and lifts her head and microphone. Eyes full of tears.

But then I miss you, most at Christmas time.

When the piano finishes the last chords, Karen and a few other choir members race up to Emma and hold her in a group hug. The audience raises the roof in their cheers and there isn’t a dry eye to be seen.

Alex, Kara, Lena and Eliza also get into a group hug. Lena tries not to feel awkward in how she’s imposing on this family moment. But she had no choice when both blonde’s beside her pulled her into it. She keeps her eyes on Emma who is trying to compose herself. She watches as Karen places Emma’s face in her hands and gently wipes the tears away. Obviously saying something encouraging to the blonde who nods and smiles sadly.

Soon Karen and the choir members get back into position and Emma takes a deep breath. “Who's ready for some more dancing?”

The audience cheers and gets to their feet as ‘Underneath The Tree’ begins.

-- -- --

When the final note of the upbeat version of ‘Joy To The World’ finishes Emma curtsies low at the applauding crowd. She can’t quite believe the concert is over as it all feels like a blur now. Confetti shoots into the air and the audience whoop. Emma rises and holds her hand out to the orchestra who keeps playing the upbeat melody. The audience cheers and the conductor bows. Emma next holds her hand out to the light and sound technicians at the back. Finally she holds her hand out to the choir behind her and the rush towards her. Gathering round her and dancing to the beat. They all wave when the curtain starts to descend, cheering and clapping with all their might.

When the curtain stops moving, separating the audience from the stage, Emma takes a deep breath.

“Well done Emma.” Karen pulls her into a tight hug. “That went better then we rehearsed!”

“Always the way!” Emma laughs and Karen nods in agreement. They pull apart but Karen keeps her face near Emma’s ear to talk to her. The choir still cheering and clapping with the orchestra.

“What are your plans? We are thinking of going to a local bar.”

“Ah I have plans with my sisters and friends.”

“No worries, it was a last minute thing anyway.” Karen smiles at her before turning to her group and dances with them.

Emma watches them for a moment before heading to her dressing room. Her whole body is buzzing with adrenaline, which she knows won’t last forever. And when she crashes she wants to be sat on a sofa with a pizza on her lap.

But it takes her a while to get to said dressing room as many people backstage congratulate her. She thanks them and breathes a sigh of relief when she can close the door behind her.

She grabs her phone and smiles at the many messages from the Superfriends. Mainly from Kara who sends a load of different emojis to express how she’s feeling. She sees the message from her Mom saying she will see her tomorrow as she’s heading back to the hotel to rest. Emma sends her a quick response of understanding before opening the Superfriend’s group chat.

Emma: Thanks everyone! I’ll see you at Kara’s soon! Please order the pizza as I’m starving!

Alex: Do you want us to wait for you?

Emma: No you go on ahead. I won’t be long.

Emma quickly changes into her skinny jeans, tank top and red leather jacket, not bothering to take her makeup off yet. She packs her bags and zips the beautiful dress in its cover. Emma places it on the clothes rail outside her dressing room. She passes the rehearsal room and pokes her head in saying bye to Karen and the choir.

Exiting through the stage door into the garage Emma is surprised to see someone stood by the bug. She quickly approaches and smiles when she sees who it is. “Lena?”

The raven haired beauty looks up from her phone and the smile she gives Emma makes the blonde go weak at the knees.

“Hi.” Lena says softly before pulling Emma into a hug. “You… Em… I don’t have any words for how amazing you were tonight.”

“Thanks Lee.” Emma says gently. She pulls back and places a kiss on Lena’s forehead. “Ready to go?” Emma asks as she unlocks the bug. Lena nods and makes her way over to the passenger side.

The drive to Kara’s was quick as most of the traffic from the theatre had already gone. A few fans were still hanging out on the street and cheered as Emma drove past. She waved at them and smiled while still paying attention to the road.

As they enter Kara’s building Emma can feel the adrenaline starting to wear off. “Why does Kara not have an elevator again?” Emma complains to herself as her movements noticeably slows.

Lena pokes her head around the corner having gone on ahead and heard Emma grumble. “Are you okay?”

“Yea, just starting to feel it.” Emma grabs onto either side of the railings and hurls her body up the stairs. Loud footsteps coming from above make her look up. Suddenly Kara and Alex are standing at the top of the flight of stairs. Lena smiles at them and continues past them, walking up to Kara’s floor.

“Need a hand?” Alex smiles down at her sister.

“No. I can-” Emma takes a step but falters. “Please.” Emma sighs out.

Both sisters race down to her and take an arm each.

“If you ever move can you please get a place with an elevator?” Emma breathes out as they walk together up the stairs.

“No promises little one!” Kara sings out and laughs as Emma huffs.

“Anyway, you are young, fit and healthy!” Alex teases, poking Emma in the side, causing the blonde to squeal and slap Alex’s hand away.

“Normally yes, but when you perform for almost two hours sometimes your body decides to do other things.” Emma grumbles.

Eventually they reach the top of the stairs, Alex lets go and heads to the apartment door.

Emma rests her head on Kara’s shoulder as they walk the short distance towards their eldest sister. Alex smiles at them and pushes the door open.

Applause greets Emma as she steps through and she feels her cheeks heating up in a blush. She smiles shyly and accepts the hugs from the Superfriends.

Finally Emma sits down on the sofa next to Lena and Sam. Pizza is laid out on the coffee table and Emma is given the honours of choosing first.

When everyone has chosen and has settled, Kara clears her throat. “As with tradition after one of Emma’s gigs.” Kara starts speaking and Emma stops chewing, frowning at what her sister is about to do. “Alex and I always talk about our favourite parts.” She smiles brightly at her sisters. “So, I will go first. My favourite bit was during ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’ and you added in the ‘Gloria’ part and the organ came in. Literally the hairs on my arms, well, all over my body, stood on end!” All the Superfriends nod. “Oh and when you had members of the choir throw chocolate and candy into the audience during ‘Joy To The World’.”

“Of course you would choose that Kara.” Alex says sat on the floor, rolling her eyes.

“Well, what's yours?” Kara laughs.

Sighing heavily Alex looks down at her pizza.

“Alex?” Emma tilts her head. Knowing what Alex must be thinking.

“My favourite bit was… when you sang for Dad.” Alex swallows and bites her lip. “It hurt but... it was such a wonderful tribute.” Tears fill Alex’s eyes and she looks away embarrassed.

Emma places her plate on the table and quickly makes her way over to her eldest sister. She kneels on the floor and engulfs Alex in a hug. The redhead sighs happily and buries her head into Emma’s neck.

When they pull apart Emma stays sitting beside Alex. She reaches out for her plate and rests her head on Alex’s shoulder as she continues to eat.

“That was one of my favourite moments too.” Sam speaks out. “The way you sang it was next level. I can’t explain it. Like you poured your very soul into it.”

“Thanks Sam.” Emma smiles at the brunette and continues to listen to the Superfriends feedback. Soon they move onto sharing their past Christmas memories. But Emma's eyes start to get more and more heavy and she can’t help but close them as she still leans against her older sister.

Feeling happy and content with how well the concert went she drifts off into a peaceful nap.

(Part Four)

[whythinktoomuch]

iv. to be as good as dead

(pt. i)  (pt. ii)  (pt. iii) 

tw: gore & death (but only of zombies :D)

Kara’s awareness gradually slips out of the syrupy depths of sleep, the low rumbles of Lena and Alex’s conversation casually filtering into her ears. She starts to stir, jerking fully awake only when she accidentally elbows Lena right in the ribs. 

“Oh, shoot, sorry,” Kara says hastily, as Lena clutches at her side with a wheeze. “Oops. I, yeah, sorry.” 

Kara inches over in a futile attempt to provide Lena with some more space, but her bed was never really meant to accommodate more than one person at a time.

“It’s fine,” Lena grumbles. “I actually prefer my lungs bruised.” 

“I’m sorry…” 

Alex just shakes her head as she approaches the bed, and Kara is already averting her eyes with an extended sigh. But Alex crouches down anyway, places a gentle hand atop Kara’s shoulder and squeezes. 

“I heard what happened,” she says softly. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

“I was leading the group, so of course it was my fault.” Kara directs her words more to her pillow than anyone else. “Like you’ve always said, if you’re the lead—”

“Forget what I said!” Alex snaps. “You’re alive, okay? And you brought everyone else back here, alive. Which means you did the right thing, and that’s all that matters.” 

Kara shrugs and just curls up into a smaller ball underneath the sheets. Alex sighs, giving Kara’s shoulder another comforting squeeze before slowly climbing to her feet. But on her way out, Alex takes one last pause by the door. She gestures aimlessly toward Kara’s bed. “So, what’s going on here? You two officially banging, or…?” 

“Oh, shut up, Alex, god! It’s not even like—”

“No, Kara was just having trouble falling asleep, so—”

“Mmhm, yeah, I bet,” Alex says, cutting off both their protests as she shuts the door behind her. 

“You’re such a fast reader,” Kara comments, as she watches Lena thumbing through her second trashy romance novel of the day. “You must really dig those, huh?” 

“I kinda hate them actually,” Lena says with a shrug. “But I’m also kinda into the fact that I hate them, so it all works out.” 

“Hm…” Kara nods thoughtfully to herself. Then, “Well, hang on, are they dirty?” 

Lena’s pale features are instantly awash in a very conspicuous shade of pink. “No,” she says several beats too late, and Kara practically pounces onto Lena’s side of the bed.  

“Oh no, no, wait!” Lena is laughing as she falls backwards, Kara scrambling on top as she grabs for the book. “No, Kara, stop, you’re not allowed to look!” 

Kara fumbles with the book, fingertips slipping off the glossy cover as Lena tosses it just out of reach behind her. But persistent as ever, Kara just climbs a bit higher, now practically straddling Lena’s stomach. Her next swipe overshoots by a tad though, and she ends up swatting at Lena’s rucksack instead. 

“No—!” Lena says in a sharp inhale, but Kara’s already caught the bag by one of the shoulder straps before it could hit the ground. 

Though considerably lighter now, the rucksack seems to still hold quite a few private things that give a distinct clink as Kara gently sets it back on the bed. 

They both stare at the bag in silence until Kara springs back into action, snatching up the romance novel with a triumphant Yoink! and jumping onto her own bed. She’s barely flipped through the first few pages when the book’s being ripped out of her hands, and Lena’s climbing into her lap and kissing her. 

All of Kara’s grunts of surprise are muffled against Lena’s soft yet sweetly insistent mouth. It’s been a while—much too long of a while, in fact—but Kara’s body eventually remembers what to do, and she’s seizing Lena by the hips and hauling her onto the bed. 

Kara’s breaths are ragged as she settles on top, her kisses near frenzied and desperate, and getting messier and messier by the second. But Lena doesn’t seem to be faring much better, with her eyes darkened, hips bucking up against Kara’s, and it’s honestly gratifying enough just to feel this wanted. 

But then Kara’s tugging at the hem of Lena’s shirt, dragging it up to expose soft skin, the paleness only marred by a slight blush of desire, when Lena stiffens underneath her. 

“Oh, is this… is this all right?” Kara asks, freezing in place. “Because we totally don’t have to.” 

Lena’s face screws up, hesitant. “Um.” 

The door swings opens, and Kara and Lena scramble off each other, in a hasty attempt to make it somehow seem like they weren’t doing exactly what they were just caught doing. 

“Wow,” says Alex, just so utterly bored. “Can’t wait to hear your excuse for this one.” 

A couple of weeks later, Kara and Lena are lazing around in the sun—Kara bouncing a tennis ball against a brick wall, Lena reading some two-dollar sci-fi thriller. They still have yet to talk about the kiss. 

It’s not that they are avoiding it, per se. It’s just been way easier to talk about all the other things worth discussing. 

Like, for example, 

“They’re gearing up for a supply run,” Lena says, eyeing the small group forming by the front gate. She watches as they pass out the guns, lace up their boots, and fix up their backpacks, and such. 

“Yeah.” Kara doesn’t look over. 

“You’re not going with them?” 

“No, Alex is gonna go this time,” Kara says shortly, already walking off toward the barracks before Lena could ask why, tennis ball left behind and forgotten. 

“Hey,” Lena says, when she eventually finds Kara lying in bed with her dusty boots still on. “Let’s get out of here.” 

“What?” 

“Let’s leave the camp for a while. Stretch our legs somewhere that’s not packed with all these people,” Lena insists. “Didn’t you say that there’s a lake nearby? Let’s go there.” 

 “… Why?” 

“Why not? It’s a free country.” 

Kara actually snorts. “There is no country anymore, Lena.” 

“Whatever, let’s just go get some privacy then,” Lena says with a shrug, and Kara perks right up. 

“Privacy?” Kara echoes. “With me.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah.” Kara nods a lot. “Yeah, okay.” 

It’s not very hard to sneak out the front gate, and the ease of their escape forces Kara to admit that maybe this is something that she’s done before. “But only like once or twice. And only when I was going absolutely stir-fucking-crazy, I swear.” 

The aforementioned lake is a trek of couple of miles, but inherent peace brought on by the very sight of it is well worth the journey. Kara stretches out beneath the shade of her favorite tree, heart and face relaxing as one as she watches Lena dip her toes in the water. 

Within minutes, Kara’s on her back with her eyes fluttering shut. And within a few more minutes, Lena is snuggled up to her, head cradled against Kara’s chest, and for a while, everything is good again. 

Kara’s just basking in the sun, taking a brief nap in between classes on a grassy hill, and Lena’s her girlfriend who adores her despite all her cheesy puns, and they’ll probably share a tub of ice cream at some point in the night before engaging in lots of sex and way too little sleep, and everything was just good. 

Almost good enough to be true

“KARA!” 

The panic in Lena’s voice has Kara’s eyes snapping open, and she feels a violent tug on her left foot. A growling zombie, lake water dripping off its disgusting, bloated body as it drags Kara closer to its snapping jaws. 

Kara immediately launches her other foot forward, smashing it into the zombie’s face as hard as she can. It gives her the leverage to slip out of her left boot and scramble to her feet. 

She shoots point blank right through the top of its head. 

But more and more zombies start emerging from the lake, all puffy and rotted, their swollen faces split open in near identical snarls. Kara shoots them down, one by one, but more just keep coming to take their place in an endless swarm. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Kara swears, her fingers clumsy as she tries to reload her gun. “Fuck it, run, Lena, run!” 

They take off sprinting, and actually manage to outrun most of the zombies that are thankfully still incapacitated by their bloated limbs, waterlogged and somewhat useless. 

When Kara throws a glance over her shoulder, just to make sure they’re still in the clear, she misses the dip in terrain, and the pothole sends her sprawling across the dirt. 

Kara turns around and a zombie is already almost upon her, its stagger increasing in speed, as if it could already taste the sweet victory of Kara’s flesh. She reaches for her gun, but it’s landed too far away, and the spare bullets even farther. By the time she faces forward again, she’s all out of options. 

A single gunshot rings out, and the zombie falls heavily on top of Kara, blood and bile spurting all over her face, mouth, and body. She coughs at the taste of decay and rotting water, clambering out from underneath the zombie, now motionless with a prominent hole through its right eye. 

Lena’s standing a couple feet away, Kara’s gun clutched in both hands. She gets the next two zombies between the eyes, then a third right through its cheek. 

The first two crumple instantly, but the last doesn’t slow one bit as it charges at Lena. 

But she doesn’t flinch, only whips out her hunting knife, leaping forward to meet the zombie head-on, and sticks the blade right through its protruding forehead with a shout. 

If Kara didn’t have an entire dollop of zombie goo still dripping from her mouth, she probably would have kissed Lena again right then and there. 

Kara’s not too sure on how or when she finds out, but by the time Alex is back from the scavenging mission, she’s stomping toward her and Lena like she already knows. 

“Listen, Alex,” Kara starts off right away, swiftly putting herself in front of Lena. “It’s not her fault. I wanted to go too, and, look, we’re fine now, and…” 

But Alex shoves right past her and yanks Lena into a violent bear hug that lifts her straight off the ground. “Thank you,” she sobs over and over again into Lena’s hair. “Thank you for keeping her safe.”

(next part here)

[wonder-kid-pugh]

The One - (Kelley O'Hara x reader)

Honestly guys it's been a long and shitty day right now and the fact that I have to go to school tomorrow isn't helping. I need some positivity right now so I hope you enjoy this. Many of you asked for a part 2 so here it is!

"I'm disappointed in you"

I narrow my eyes at my son, "Shut up Sonnett". Sonnett throws her arms up, "But you were supposed to be the ultimate frat daddy! You were supposed to be single forever. You were my role model!" I rub the palms of my hands into my eyes, "Go away Sonnett". She goes to retort again but is silenced by Alex, "Leave her alone Sonny". Sonnett sighs and slumps in her chair.

I start to play with my food pushing in around my plate when I spot Christen smirking at me, "What?" She just shrugs with a smile on her face, "Nothing. Just have never seen you so hung up on a girl before. Your completely whipped". "I am not whipped!" I shout at her but she grins, "So your saying that if she called, you wouldn't drop everything and go hang out with her?"

Before I could even answer my phone rings. I dig my phone out of my pocket mumbling but internally curse when I see who it is. Alex laughs, "Looks like we'll find out now won't we?" I glare at my best friend as I answer my phone, "Hey".

"Hey wanna meet up today?" She asks. I sigh rubbing my forehead who glaring at Christen who is smirking at me. "If your busy it's cool" she says. "No no it's okay. I'm free today. What do you wanna do?" I say while giving my teammates the finger as they giggle at me.

"Well I was thinking coffee but I'm easy" she answers. "Your anything but easy" I mutter. "What was that?" She asks and I can already imagine her raises her damn eyebrow at me.  "Nothing nevermind" I shrug, "yeah coffee sounds good". "Cool I'll see you in a bit" she answers. I sigh, "See you in a bit".

I lean back in my chair and narrow my eyes at my teammates who all look at me with shit eating grins, "Shut up".

---

"Are you sure your okay?" She asks me for around the fifth time that day. I nod slightly giving her a small smile, "Yeah I'm good". She squints her eyes at me, "You sure? You've been acting.....weird". I cough and sit up straighter, "Yeah I'm sure. Anyways how was your date?"

She immediately scoffs before taking a sip of her coffee, "Horrible. She was a bitch. Way too clingy as well". I have to hide my smile behind me cup as I go to take a drink. She shrugs, "The sex was good though". I choke, "You still slept with her?" She grins at me with a shrug, "She was hot. I mean like really hot Kels. Definitely wouldn't do it again with her though".

I bite the inside of my cheek and nod. "What about you? Have you been seeing anyone recently?" She asks. I shake my head as I drum my fingers on the table, "No been kinda busy lately I guess". She smirks at me, "Sure your just not going through a dry season?" I roll my eyes and kick her shin under the table, "Shut up and no. I've just been busy. Haven't really found the time".

She just smirks while drinking her coffee. I bite my lip, "Can I ask you something?" She just nods while I sigh and look at her, "Why don't you date?" The smile disappears from her face while she leans back into her seat, "Because Love's a trick. It's not real. Everyone talks about the fairytale love where they end up happily ever after but that's a lie. It just doesn't happen like in the movies".

I scrunch my eyebrows, "Well yeah obviously it's not going to be like in the movies or the books but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist".  "Then why do people cheat? Why do people get divorced?" She challenges. I shake my head, "It just means they haven't found the one for them". "What if they don't have The One for them?" She asks. "Everyone has someone for them" I say confidently. "Not me" she shakes her head.

I frown as I reach across the table and put my hand on hers, "Everyone has someone for them. Even me and most definitely you. You just have to give it time".

They may be closer than you think

She gives me a small smile but it doesn't reach her eyes, "I'll believe it when I see it". Deciding to be a bit bold I lace my fingers with her's but she doesn't pull away instead she just smiles and rubs her thumb over my knuckles letting a warm feeling wash over me.

What is she doing to me?

I clear my throat making her look up at me but doesn't move away our hands, "Uh I was wondering if you wanted to come to my match in a few days?" She just nods, "Yeah I would love too". "I thought you didn't believe in Love" I joke but all I earn is an eye roll.

"Shut it O'Hara"

---

"Stop staring Lover girl" Allie teases. "Shut it Worms" I whisper as I start walking towards her, "Hey Y/n". She looks up from her phone and smiles at me, "Hey Kels". I nod towards the field, "Wanna meet the team?" She shrugs, "Why not?" I help her down before we walk over to the team, "Guys this is Y/n. Y/n this is the team". Sonnett steps up right in front of Y/n before circling her looking her up and down. Her face is neutral until stops in front of her and looks at me, "Okay I understand".

Y/n looks at me weirdly while I shrug at her but when she turns around I glare at Sonnett who shrinks back. "So your the woman wormie keeps talking about" Allie grins. Y/n just turns on me and smirk, "Talking about me O'Hara?" Before I could defend myself Christen speaks up, "All the time". Y/n raises her eyebrow at Christen, "Your teammates are hot Kels". She sends a wink at Christen who flushes red but gets pulled back by Tobin who glares at Y/n. I roll my eyes, "Keep it in your pants L/n".  "That your first time saying it to someone else O'Hara?" She shoots back making the team laugh while Becky rubs her temples, "God there's two of them".

My eyes widen as her eyes lock on Becky and her mouth opens but I leap at her and cover her mouth with my hand, "No!" But I quickly pull it away and wipe it on my shorts, "Ew gross! You licked me!" She raises her eyebrows at me, "You didn't complain about it last time". Sonnett cackles behind me while there is a mix of amusement and disgust.

"WAIT!" We all turn to Sonnett who points at Y/n, "So Kelley is a bottom?" My eyes widen but I can't stop her before she's already talking, "Awe that's so cute! You think she tops?" I grab her wrist, "Okay that's enough". I drag her away from the team and towards the tunnel instantly regretting introducing her to the team, "I will never live that down".

I distract myself by looking at her and I can't help but grin, "You look good in my jersey". She smirks as she comes in extremely close making me back up against a wall, "Well we already knew I looked good in your clothes". She leans in so she's right next to my ear and places a small kiss right behind it, "But I think we both know you like me better without them".

I have to hold myself back from letting out a groan as I shiver, "Fuck". She grins brushing a stray strand of hair away from my face, "Maybe later". She sends me a wink before walking down the tunnel.

This girl is going to be the death of me

---

"Do you really believe that there's someone out there for everyone?" She asks as we while in bed later that day. (Fully clothed you pervs). I roll over onto my side and nod, "Yes". She turns and looks at me, "Even me?" I grab her by her waist and roll her over so we're face to face, "Especially you".

I look into her eyes, "Where is this coming from?" She sighs and closes her eyes briefly before opening them up again but they look dull. They don't have their usual spark of mischief that makes them twinkle and shine. "Growing up I had let's say a warped sense of love. Parents always fighting making each other miserable all the time. Dad was stepping out on my mom a lot. They were so busy fighting each other that they barely noticed I existed. Forcing me to grow up fast. Then the first real girlfriend I had fucked me up even more".

She sniffs as tears start to well up in her eyes, "She was abusive. Degraded me for anything and everything. And all the while she was making me feel shitty about myself, she was sleeping around with different people". A tear falls but I quickly wipe it away as she takes a shaky breath and tries to play it off with a small laugh, "Eventually I got my head out if my ass and finally left and never looked back". She looks me directly in the eyes, "After that I just stopped believing in love. Love is full of lies and deceit and only ends in pain so why bother. Don't get attached and you can't get hurt".

I frown and wipe her cheeks with the pad of my thumbs, "I'm sorry you didn't deserve any of that". She sniffs and wipes the tip of her nose off the back of her hand, "Nothing you can do about it. It happened". I take her face in my hands, "I'm sorry that happened to you. But that doesn't mean you can't find love. It just means they were idiots for not seeing how amazing you are".

I pause and lick my lips before throwing caution to the wind. "Fuck it" I think before I take a deep breath. "Let me show you what you deserve" I murmur. She scans my face before I slowly lean in and kiss her. I take the kiss slow and pour everything I have into it trying desperately to show how much I care for the girl in my arms.

Eventually we break apart both breathing heavy. "Give me 30 days" I breathe out, "Give me 30 days to show you what real love is like. If after 30 days I don't change your mind, I'll drop it and I'll never bring it up again". She looks at me hard, "Why are you doing this?" I let out a sigh and run my hand through my hair before looking back down at her.

"Because I think I love you"