#“are you okay--” NO I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL OVER A PAIR OF FICTIONAL TEENAGERS

[number1villainstan]

Is Everybody Going Crazy? by Nothing But Thieves is what saionji/wakaba could have been if Ohtori Bullshit(TM) didn't get to them first

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

I've seen your posts (and other bloggers posts) about antis, and although i don't agree that anyone has the right to dictate what media people are allowed to enjoy i never actually believed that they could be that bad (since I'd never had any interactions with them) and thought their unhinged behaviour was exaggerated. Until I posted a fic with a controversial pairing and OH. MY. GOD.

I have never received this much abuse (and of such a vicious sort) in my entire life. I guess this serves me right for doubting other creators' claims of how awful antis can be. I could just never believe anyone could be this... this... diabolical. But now I'm experiencing it first and it is wild.

Like I'm receiving actual death threats? Because of a 2,000 oneshot? I'm being told that me and my whole family deserve to die slow and painful deaths because of the characters I shipped?? They're calling me a pedophile and an animal abuser because one of the characters I wrote about is a teenager and the other is a human-animal hybrid??? What?

Like, are these people ok? Are they mentally unwell? This is just... I'm in shock honestly that people actually think and behave like this. Holy hell. It's been a hug eye opener and not a necessarily nice one.

Sorry if this message was unwelcome, I just couldn't think of anyone else to share this with. I hope you're having a nice day/evening ❤

Hi hi anon,

Yeah, this is what it's sadly like, and in the most extreme pockets of anti-communities are people who have literally tried to murder other people over fictional characters.

It's truly unhinged.

You have people who just don't like what other people are shipping, which is fine and normal, we all have notps and things we don't like, and then you have the people who genuinely think it's okay to torment, harass, abuse, and bully another person based over something fictional, and those people need to be blocked.

These people coming after you anon, if they're on AO3, report every single one because it might take a while, but those people get banned from AO3. If they're on Tumblr, block but also consider reporting, because death threats get people banned and all anonymous IP addresses are logged on Tumblr's side. If it's on Twitter, block on sight. Don't tolerate them, don't give them the air to breathe, and make sure you get offline sometimes or go to online safe spaces and spend time with the people who love you for who you are, it's the best weapon against antis who have no idea who you are and feel like you're a great figure to bully and abuse.

Ultimately, at the very base of what an anti is, is someone who believes their emotion of 'don't like that' justifies them bullying and torturing other people over fictional characters. It is at its foundation completely delusional, and even people who get 'logical' about it are still going 'my emotions are real enough to justify hurting you over something that is a figment of our collective imaginations.'

Some of those folks are very young, and will grow out of it, and have just drunk the collective Koolaid, some of them are older and always wanted an excuse to bully others but feel 'righteous' and 'pure' for doing it. Some really believe they're doing the right thing, others know they're hypocrities but can be all the more vicious for it. There are many recovering antis, but they're often silent about the things they've done, or the ways they've tried to hurt people.

I'm glad you posted that story anon, but not glad about the response you're getting. Consider moderating comments if it's on AO3, just to choke out the antis for a while. And yeah, practice self-care, because abusers want to hurt and harm others, and if you feel hurt and harmed, the more you can act to look after yourself, the more you thwart their goal/s and give them the big proverbial 'fuck you' that they so desperately deserve.

They do, usually, die down after a while, especially the more they get starved out. They'll often hunt for more vulnerable people. But in the meantime you also might want to inform folks you trust irl that you're dealing with this right now, because antis are unhinged, and online abuse is serious. Take care of you!! <33333 I'm sorry you had to learn about this pocket of 'society' in such a horrific way.

Antis are the worst.

[readingrobin]

Ooof this was probably my roughest month when it came to reading, Didn't really get a lot read since my schedule was jam packed and I didn't get as much reading in as I thought I would during vacation. To top it all off, the things I did manage to read mostly fell on the meh side of things, so I can't even say it was worth it for a few good reads. Oh well. I think I'll have better luck in November.

Total Books Read: 5

Total Pages Read: 1,713

Books Read:

Nightshade by Andrea Cremer (2.5/5) -

This book has been collecting dust on my bookshelves since the great vampire/werewolf YA fiction boom of the early 2010s. Really the only thing that's been keeping me from reading it has been circumstance and a deluge of other things I'd rather be reading. Big note to self, if the synopsis describes one of the teenage lead characters as "sexy," there's a good chance that I, an almost thirty year old adult, will get one of those ick feelings along my spine. It's one thing if it's coming through the perspective of a teenaged character, and another when you know it's more than likely coming from some middle-aged editor in a publishing office cubicle.

Now if I had read this over a decade ago, odds are I would have loved it. Awesome werewolf mythology that seemed very unique, a badass lead character that's not here for your girly dresses or makeup, sarcasm galore, oh yeah teen me would've eaten it up. While I can still appreciate the lore aspect, there are some qualities of the book that just tire me out.

Love triangles are always going to be some dodgy ground, particularly when you don't care for them or either of the love interests. Shay seemed so irresponsible and okay with constantly putting Calla in danger, even if it had the intention of trying to get her to see the truth behind the Keepers. Rey, though slightly better, made some comments here and there that set my teeth grinding, but at least it felt like he actually respected Calla at times. Pretty sure with how the story is going that Shay is ultimately going to win out in the end, which doesn't really encourage me to read any of the sequels.

At least pour one out for the gay werewolf representation in a time where queer characters, even queer side characters, were in short supply.

While I really liked the werewolf lore, the book also reinforces my least favorite werewolf trope, which is reinforcing incorrect "facts" about actual wolf pack dynamics to explain the weird sexism of the werewolf packs. I know it's all to make the term "alpha wolf" look cool and intimidating, but they literally do not exist. Wolf packs are made up of a mated pair and their kids/extended family. There's very little dominance involved. I know bringing actual reality to this werewolf book means absolutely nothing, but they did it first.

There's also an absurd amount of sexism, misogyny, and slut-shaming going on here and yes, I know it's all for us to realize that werewolf society is corrupt and has this weird propaganda thing going on to keeps the wolves in line, but god it's overbearing at times. It's really just a me thing, but I had to visibly cringe when one of the adults told Calla to "keep her legs shut." I don't know, maybe it was too much just because all the characters are like 15-17 years old and I'm entering my "old person yells at YA for being YA" era. God help me.

So yeah, lots of emotions with this one and I'm not sure if I want to continue the series just to get closure or not.

Don't Turn Out the Lights: A Tribute to Alan Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark edited by Jonathan Maberry (3/5) -

Seeing as I was a giant scaredy cat as a kid, I didn't really grow up with Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. I tried once, but Stephen Gammell's haunting illustrations proved to be too much for little me who already had an overactive imagination. Now that I have a little more stamina when it comes to horror and spooky pictures, I figured to give this collection a try to find some worthwhile middle grade horror. There are definitely strong contenders in this collection, some that'll even unnerve some adults. Others, well, they're there to give a little variety when it comes to the type and tone of the stories.

My favorites would have to be:

"The Carved Bear" "The Golden Peacock" "The Neighbor" "The Bottle Tree" "The Tall Ones"

I don't know if the collection decently balanced between the light spooky stories that were more humorous and the more traumatizing tales. There are two that sort of stick out like sore thumbs, those being R.L. Stine's and Sherrilyn Kenyon's contributions. Stine is known for his off the wall twists, but this one being a little bit more silly, yet typical for his kind of work, doesn't really make it mesh well with the majority of other stories that want to leave you with a shiver down your spine. Kenyon's poem has the same effect, having more of an innocent, playful tone that sets it apart from the other stories, but not in a memorable way. I think if the collection offered a few more stories like these it wouldn't be so noticeable. Each are completely fine on their own, but not when integrated into a collection that aims to leave lasting scares.

Also, it's REALLY noticeable that some of the writers are writing stories centered around certain cultures that aren't their own or that they have done very little research on. I may be as white as winter snow, but even I know that the Devil has nothing to do with Dia de los Muertos. 

The Ravenmaster: My Life with the Ravens at the Tower of London by Christopher Skaife (3/5) -

I have such a great fondness for corvids, be they crows, ravens, magpies, or even blue jays, so I figured this book would be right up my alley. Skaife delves into the history behind the ravens' presence at the Towers, which I was surprised but maybe not too much that it holds a legend that may not be as old and revered as once thought.

I've been to the Tower of London, which helped me visualize some of his stories. The ravens there are definitely a quirky bunch. I remember one that graciously allowed a seagull to peck a bit at their raw chicken lunch, only to shoo them off a few seconds after. This cycle would actually repeat itself a bit, a little nibble and then a shoo, it almost seemed like a sort of game. Anyway, they are very amusing birds and Skaife really does make their personalities shine in this book.

There were moments where the book lost a little steam or included something that seemed a bit superfluous. The chapter on ghosts around the grounds seemed a little out of place in a book about the Tower ravens and the stories get a little repetitive once you edge closer to the end. But if you have an interest in the Tower and its inhabitants, I recommend picking it up.

The Oddmire: Changeling by William Ritter (2.5/5) -

I'm not sure if this is a case of me reading this book at the wrong time or I'm just getting more picky with my middle grade fantasy, but I never really felt very invested in this one. It's a great setup for a story, two brothers venture into a dark magical forest to learn which one of them is human and which is a changeling left by a goblin one long ago night. They meet various friends and threats across the way, culminating in a wonderful depiction of family bonds and loyalty. I appreciated how involved their mother was in the story, who had absolutely no qualms about going into the dangerous forest to save her kids. I love seeing more competent parents in fiction, if only just to show kids that some grownups are capable of being helpful at times.

But, other than that, I didn't really get much out of the story. The brothers seemed very interchangeable, not really having distinguishable personalities so that ultimately it doesn't really matter who is human and who is the changeling. They both have the same worries and fears, the same goals, so there's nothing really to set them apart.

The writing style didn't really pull me in either, to the point where by the last couple of chapters I was doing more skimming than actual reading.

I will say that it is a decent fantasy for younger readers looking for a bit of adventure and magic. It twists some fairy tale conventions just enough to feel fresh while holding onto a few just for good measure. I've probably just read too many at this point to really appreciate it.

Watership Down: The Graphic Novel by Richard Adams, adapated by James Sturm, illustrated by Joe Sutphin (5/5) -

I stumbled upon Watership Down a little later in life, knowing full well of its status as one of those "Top 10 Films that Scarred You As A Child." At some point, I had seen the glorious intro to the film, where Frith bestows various gifts to the animals and El-Ahrairah displays his tricks and cunning, and that immediately sent me to the novel. It's a beautiful story, with lush descriptions of the downs and adventure that, while coming from so humble a place, keeps you interested from beginning to end. By some magic, James Sturm and Joe Sutphin managed to capture everything about this story that has delighted readers for decades.

Sutphin goes for a more naturalistic style, keeping the rabbits and other various animals expressive, but not too cartoony. It mostly keeps to a certain realm of reality, with colors that are more muted, but never do any sort of disservice to the setting. While I am a fan of styles that bush boundaries, this style is perfect for Watership Down that, while seemingly fantastical at times, is a very down to earth tale. There's a certain charm to it that comes from the simplicity of its setup, that is a group of animals just trying to survive.

Of course, not every plot point and character makes it through the process of adaptation. I am thankful that Sturm was able to include some of the folk tales of the rabbits, which was one of my favorite elements of the story. Naturally, to keep this story to a single volume and maintain a sense of flow, things would have to be reworked and shifted.

In my opinion, this graphic novel is an exemplary transfiguration on the original story that will please fans and hopefully entice new readers to the book.

Rating Average 3.2

[iridescentnuances]

5 Movies I'd Show You

Thank you @psalacanthea for always tagging me in games even though I'm not very good at it lol

Okay so with this list, it's going to become pretty obvious that I am a huge weeb. I spent some time thinking about what non-Asian movies I could include. I almost came up with none because weeb foggy brain is foggy. But worst of all, it's really shameful that me, a Spaniard, couldn't come up with a single Spanish recommendation! I will duely reflect upon this tragedy.

So here we go, in no particular order:

One of my favourite musical films of all time, a gut-wrenching tragicomedy about a woman who desperately looks for true love in abusive men. Great acting, great comedic scenes, and when it's time to cry, oh boy does it make me cry. Used to hit too close to home. Can't wait to watch it again after some years.

Okay, when talking Wong Kar-wai, everyone always says how good In the Mood for Love is. I get it. But its sequel hit all the right buttons for me. A man obssessed with the past leaves a trail of emotional corpses. The past never was, as one would think, any better than the present. All that's left is picking up the pieces to try and make something out of the treacherous nostalgia of an unfulfilled romance.

From when I decided to watch each and every Cillian Murphy movie ever. If you liked Girl Interrupted or But I'm a Cheerleader, y'know, any movie about teenagers being committed somewhere, you'll probably like this one. Romance, memorable lines, great soundtrack and honestly, a worthwhile cute ending to dig oneself out of depression.

Hear me out. This movie, this fucking movie. It gets a bad rep for allegedly being too misogynistic and/or too feminist. I wrote my bachelor's thesis about this movie. Twenty-seven pages worth of paper just going on and on about it. I could talk for hours about the book, the adaptation, the authors, the script, eeeeeverything. If you haven't seen it yet in your life, you just have to. If you've already seen it, watch it again and open your mind to it. I won't say anything about it except GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING. A very controversial academic opinion, I was told.

The nightmare version of a teenage flick. This one might be my favourite out of Gregg Araki's "Apocalypse Trilogy". If I'm not mistaken, it features all of Araki's tropes: reptilian aliens, problematic bisexuals, at least two pairs of twins, impending doom, and homoerotic longing. It's funny, it's queer, it's horny, it's violent, it's a total freak-out.

Anyone who sees this and wants to do it, consider yourselves tagged!

[silver-spider-art]

Also! Also! Why the heck to ppl end these unhealthy bingqius with set ups that leave them just utterly isolated? They've alienated all the rest of the Sect, LBH chases everyone else away from jealousy, but it's okay cuz SQQ is sooooo happy with his new life as a spoiled husband. T-T do ppl even realize how horrible that sort of life would really be? Like again, write it if it makes you happy, buy don't tag it happy ending. It's can be an unreliable narrator but if those are actually good the narration at some point will disagree with the character's POV. Will somehow state that the author doesn't believe what the character does. If the narration says this is great and everyone is happy, and the characters go yes we're happy, but the actual story depicted is one where one person sacrifices for another while the other just takes and further isolates them.... Yeah... Look I'm not a purity person. I'm not trying to yuck your yum. I just think you should be truthful about how you look at your ships. When you lust after fictional serial killers or genocidal tyrants in your fiction, please just, grain of salt. Don't act like it's goals or happy endings. T-T don't tag it happy ending when a character ends in an abusive manipulative relationship. If someone writes these messed up dynamics and actually acknowledges them as messed up and unhealthy i actually have ended up *enjoying* them. There is nothing wrong with messed up stories.

It's just, ugh, it's the bane of the Internet, because what I want is nuisance. It's the difference between (I wish I could come up with a perfect example rn but I can't) like Lolita vs any of the many stories with teenages love interests paired with adult men. Lolita is from the perspective of the groomer but it begins with a blurb telling the reader that he's on trial for crimes and trying to defend himself. The author made sure the reader knows that this is unreliable narration. Or a serial killer show that makes sure you understand that the killer is messed up and wrong while also letting you get invested in them vs one that excuses and justifies their behavior through the narration to the point people sympathize more with the killer than the victims. It's that sort of shit. I read a fic where after countless murders and tortures and destruction, including torturing SY himself, LBH was utterly forgiven and SY married him. Treated as oh, it's just water under the bridge, all that horror (worse torture and more deaths that SVSSS canon). Like could SY forgive it? He's a very unhealthy man, he actually might. My problem was all the other characters and the narration treating his choice as not just correct but overdue or expected. That any character that did decent was just doing it out of jealousy cuz they didn't get to fuck SQQ. That's the difference! When a character has complete justification to complain about the POV character's choices, the story should treat those complaints seriously even if the POV character doesn't. If for instance LQG or YQY complain about LBH but SQQ ignores it and then the story just goes on and everything is just fine and the complaints are forgotten about by the story, then the author is reinforcing that SQQ was correct to ignore them. That their complaints were worthless.

I just. Ugh. SVSSS is a master class of unreliable narrator. I like that about it though I wish even the story itself actually did more to reveal just how unreliable SY was. He was always lying to himself and us about everything. His emotions, his feels, his desires. Everything he did was through such a lense. It's actually rather fun, peeling back the layers, trying to see the truth under it, and asking what it would take to actually make a man like that be truthful to himself. You only get a few glimpses of that at the end of the story and even then SY is still pulling the wool over his eyes even when SQH is trying to make him face things.

Yet so many authors just want to lie SY told about himself to be real. The uncomplicated man who's just so kind and oblivious and just a little bun to be protected. I want the messy man with horrible flaws and self destructive tendencies who is too in his own head to realize the consequences of his actions. Who is both thoughtlessly passive and manipulatively kind. So caught up in the story that he died obsessing over that he still refuses to live his life.

I’m trying really hard not to be Peerless Cucumber so I’m ranting here rather than in the comments of the fic. But sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who hates SY being a overly kind suicidally self sacrificing idiot. Like everyone forgets he only nearly killed himself when it was faking his death or because he feared fates worse than death. That his obsession with LBH’s happiness above all was a sign of a deeply mentally disturbed man and not relationship goals. Like you can write unhealthy BingQiu. Knock yourself out, but please, for the love of god, don’t treat that behavior like its a happy ending or healthy. What the narration treats as good vs what the characters treat as good matter. It just annoys me so much. Part of what I like about SY is how much of a two faced mess of a hypocrite he is. He’s cruelly kind. Not some precious disney princess with only a sassy mouth. He had no regard for himself, living vicariously through his fav character, like many a chronically online youth. Its messed up and messy. A good ending for him is LQG and learning how to be a proper teach and take care of himself. That doesn’t mean I don’t like BingQiu, it can be so fun, but the canon end for them is messy and so many fan fics just make it worse. T-T I take comfort in the few who’ve done deep dives on SY vs SJ and where they are similar and different. Cuz they aren’t polar opposites.