#“Well you're all better now so the conservative treatment worked so you don't need it”

[thateclecticbitch]

Dear united Healthcare please stop denying my request for left knee MRI pretty pretty please

[tirfpikachu]

it's 100% okay to regret your transition, especially physical transition.

it's okay to acknowledge you did something you regret.

it's okay to finally accept that transitioning socially, being on hrt and/or getting surgeries made things worse, not better, or was just you repressing your authentic self. it's okay to admit it didn't improve your life, and instead made it harder. it's okay to say it wasn't the right treatment for you. it's okay to say it was the wrong life for you.

you are NOT a bigot. you are not a failure. you aren't. you were failed by the healthcare system, and the lgbt community over-praised you. it all needs reform to prevent things like this from happening, to prevent suffering from reverse dysphoria and years lost living in the wrong lifestyle, living an inauthentic life. it was the wrong road for you, personally. and we can all learn from your story. you are not a lesser woman or man for what you went through. your body can look like whatever, you're STILL just as much of a woman or man as anyone else. you still belong among your sisters or brothers. you still belong in the lgbt community, or the gnc community, or the world in general. you're not broken. you're NOT broken. you're not ugly, you're not lesser, you're not a mistake. it was a mistake, but YOU are not a mistake. you went on a wild journey, a difficult journey, and you were sick with dysphoria, and you did what you thought was best to cure it. it did not work. it made things worse. and that's okay, i promise.

you don't need to identify with gender now either. you can be post-gender without being trans or nonbinary. you can say fuck you to gender and still be cis, still be non-trans. no one gets to tell you who you are. you should still have a voice on dysphoria-related issues. you are not some kind of bigoted monster. you existing is no threat to the trans community, or to anyone. you do not deserve to be weaponized by conservatives either, you are so much more than a political pawn.

you are still YOU. the real you. the authentic you.

we are like salamanders, you and i. and though our bodies can't be reverted as easily as theirs, though some tails won't grow back, we're still the same beings we were before it all. we took the wrong road for us, and it was painful, but we learned from it. like lesbians dating men for years, like patients trying different meds and getting screwed over by undereducated doctors. it's not an insult to anyone. anyone feeling insulted is selfish and self-centered. we as a society should care about ALL dysphoric people, including reverse dysphoric people, and including healed dysphoric people as well. dysphoria is a highly complex thing, especially if you're female/ofab, especially if you're gay/bi, and especially if you have comorbid disorders. as with sexualities, it can be hard to figure out who and what you really are and want to be. people being over-eager to affirm you in your identity can lock you into a box you may not belong in. identities are personal. disorders are also very personal, dysphoria included. and being gnc can be complex too. it can be hard to figure out what's best for you.

the way the lgbt community is handling things is wrong.

the way the healthcare industry is handling dysphoria is wrong.

gnc people and dysphoric people are not getting all the information they deserve both within the healthcare system and within their lgbt/gnc communities. we as gnc and dysphoric people deserved better. and your story matters. my story matters too. we matter.

[birlwrites]

(Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw anon) Well, now I am definitely intrigued about Hufflepuff. If you would be willing to do a spoiler post, I'd be interested.

wow look at me tackling my askbox

i got this question from a few people so here y'all go!! (and here's the original ask)

as always, if you DO NOT want spoilers about atfhv and have not yet filtered the #atfhv spoilers tag, do that now!!

much of my thinking about hufflepuff in this universe is that, like...... hufflepuff is SO underutilized. jkr's personal beliefs about valuable traits really bleed through in how she a) defines and b) treats the different houses, and i find canon hufflepuff to be such a bland treatment of what it means to actually take a bunch of people whose main character trait, as defined by jkr, is not being unafraid of a hell of a lot of hard work, and putting them in a room together and saying 'okay, your house was founded on the principle that nobody should be denied an education based on an outsider's opinion of their merit. the other three houses at this school take pride in their Qualities and think of you as kind of the catch-all house for people who don't fit anywhere else. now what are you going to do about it'

i also think of hufflepuff as being a house that does value tradition - they're the counterbalance to ravenclaw, and eminently practical, in a 'this works, so i'm going to buckle down and get it done while you're busy fantasizing about a better way to do it' way. they've never cared much for sweeping changes being imposed on them by others, especially when those changes don't seem particularly useful, or when they seem like fruitless (or actively impedimental) lip service to an agenda

and, perhaps most importantly, they are realistic. they firmly believe that you have to accept what reality is (in the sense of not being in denial about The Real State Of Things, not in the sense of *approving* of it), and then you can actually get things done. if you're in denial, pretending things aren't the way they are, you're going to waste time and effort on not getting anywhere at all.

like, here's an example: if you're taking ALL the students who aren't deemed 'worthy' of the other houses, you're going to have to teach them. anything else is a violation of your house's founding principle. and you can't teach every student exactly the same way and expect them all to succeed. you have to accept that different students learn differently and struggle with different things, and some of them will need more help than others, and some of them are going to struggle a lot in a traditional academic setting, and it would be really, really difficult to change the way hogwarts teaches when you'd be likely to get resistance from the (very conservative-minded) board of trustees, the ministry, people who are worried about standardized test scores, etc.

you have to accept that reality before you can go 'okay, so, how do we make sure these students succeed anyway?' otherwise, you're just wasting your time on something futile and not getting any results.

what does all of that mean?

it means hufflepuff has a thriving tradition of studying dark arts, and bringing new people into their group, that has lasted as long as slytherin's has. like, why would they throw that out the window just because the ministry told them to? this shit is powerful magic. it's useful, too. they're not just going to stop because it scares the muggles - they're always going to scare the muggles, it's part of having magic. might as well just accept reality and get on with your life

'but wait!' you say. 'why doesn't regulus know about this, if this tradition has really been going on for so long?'

to which i say: because hufflepuffs are great at accepting reality. the slytherin dark arts study group is an open secret. they don't face consequences because people either dismiss it as superstition or know that there's no way they'd be able to make anything stick, what with slytherin's very deep ties to the wizengamot (and the government in general). hufflepuff does not have the advantage of a dark, creepy aesthetic and an immediate connotation of shitloads of money and political power. plenty of people think that lots of hufflepuffs probably aren't very bright since they got put into the Everyone Else house. even their slytherin counterparts might be skeptical about hufflepuff's ability to keep this a secret - after all, they weren't put in the cunning house, were they?

so hufflepuff uses the slytherin group as cover - or rather, the rumors about the slytherin group. who on earth would look at *hufflepuff* for evidence of dark arts, especially when slytherin is right next to them being all cunning and ambitious?

and, unfortunately, this means that they have to keep the existence of their study group VERY much on the DL. the stakes of people suspecting them are a lot higher, since they don't have the same smokescreen that slytherin does. they can use slytherin as a shield, but there's a limit to how useful that shield will be

the hufflepuff study group tends to be smaller than the slytherin study group. they are also more likely to bring in people who weren't raised in the dark network, because continuity is important to them and they want to keep this group going, even though hufflepuff tends to get fewer dark scions than slytherin does. that being said, the love of tradition and pressing need for secrecy is a double-edged sword - there are blood purists in hufflepuff, they're just polite about it. and a lot of those purists can be found in the dark arts study group, politely Not discussing politics with each other since arnold macmillan is like, right there, and he's a *macmillan*, and all of that

blood purity in hufflepuff is less about magical capability and more about safety from muggles, which is why it flies under the radar in comparison to slytherin

but they're often not big voldemort fans. bc like, wtf is he doing.

and, similar to ravenclaw, there's a range of opinions re: dumbledore, generally highly correlated with their ties to the dark network or lack thereof

and this will all become important very, VERY soon.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

ok but now you're obligated to write about single dad finding a lady it's the law and I will call the police if you don't

This is an old old ask that I never quite liked, but I’m just posting to clear it out

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Alison was at a crossroads in her life. She was 25, a college graduate, that was a waitress at Hooters. She’d always said she only worked there, to get through school, but here she was more than two years done with school, still putting on those dumb orange shorts.

She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to do next, but she knew that she didn’t want to work Around a bunch of drunk idiots any more. She just didn’t have the capacity or tolerance for their antics anymore.

She decided to take a look online on various job seeking sites, seeing if anything caught her eye. She had a degree in psychology and her dream was to ultimately have her own space to bring people into, that wanted to balance their life, without relying on prescription drugs. Alternative treatments like Equine Therapy, Expressive Arts, Play therapy etc for individuals or families that set goals. Genuinely helping people was the ultimate goal, but she wasn’t quite ready for that yet, so she needed something new. An add for a live-in nanny caught her eye:

Single Professional Parent of two children under five years old seeking live in Nanny with no criminal record, drugs, or smoking. There will be a background check, driving record, and hair follicle drug test run on all serious applicants, to be completed and passed BEFORE meeting children. Email me for more information and I can discuss living arrangements, pay, benefits, children or any other details. I look forward to hearing from you!

Alison figured it was most likely a woman that had lost her old nanny or lost her significant other and needed someone to pick up the slack. She loved children, and she liked that she was adamant about all the tests and checks being completed before meeting the children. That was very refreshing. Her lease was up and she hadn’t signed a new one, so it actually was a great option. She typed out an introduction about herself, her relevant experience and qualifications and decided to just admit to being a waitress. She knew she’d have to include it in her background check, but she’d rather tell the woman in person, rather then be eliminated right away.

She sent it out, and figured she’d carry on with her day, when no more than twenty minutes went by and she had a reply from a Mark V. She was kind of surprised it was a man solely caring for two toddlers, but i guess deadbeat parents could be any sex. She wondered if the mother was possibly deceased. She opened the message:

Hello Alison!

You have no idea what a breath of fresh air your email was, after getting a bunch of crazy peoples’ replies. Let’s just dive right in, and I can tell you what I expect and if you can meet those needs.

I am the sole guardian of a 3 year old boy named Dakota, and an 18 month old little princess named Danielle. Neither one of their mothers is involved in their life which I worry about them, but with your degree, you probably know exactly how to approach that. I work Monday thru Friday 8am-6pm and very rarely a weekend, and would need you to care for the children, prepare their meals, and take them to their activities and classes throughout the week. I already have a cleaning lady, so as long as you’re not a slob, you’ll only need to do your laundry. You didn’t mention if you had a car or not, but I’d prefer you drove my Tesla anytime you have the children with you. I have a truck for myself, the Tesla is safest for kids. It pretty much drives for you and is very safe, so it gives me a false sense of security. Lol. What you do with your evenings and weekends is up to you. I ask that you only ever have very close friends and family over that are willing to get a background check. I pay for everything of course, I just don’t want a parade of unknown people around my kids. You’re room is a large bedroom, with your own bathroom, walk in closet and balcony. It’s not furnished, but I’d be willing to furnish it if you don’t have your own stuff. Pay is $750 per week, as well as full benefit package through my company Life/ dental/ medical/ vision etc at no out of pocket cost to you. You also will be issued a company credit card for any costs for activities you and the children venture out to do, and all the grocery and incidentals shopping. You can eat whatever you want, and I’d like you to feel comfortable. My children need a consistant female figure in their life and I need help. If this sounds fair to you, I’d like to meet you in person and give you the drug test lab forms and get your information to get your driving and background reports knocked out. If you don’t think you’ll pass any of these, please don’t waste my time. My office is at 111 s Main in that new glass office building. We are the entire twentieth floor. It’s 10am now, hoping you’re available at 1pm today. Let me know either way. Look forward to meeting you and hopefully hiring you. (Oh and just so it doesn’t seem like I’m moving too fast, I need a nanny like yesterday but won’t settle when it comes to my children) Although you’re a bit younger than I’d like; your degree, stable work and address history and willingness to take a hair follicle drug test are positive attributes in a person That will play a major role in my kids lives. Mark V. You can text me at 555-123-4567 as well!

Alison stared at the email a bit stunned. The pay, benefits, accommodations and credit card and car all sounded great but it’s a man. She was curious why both mothers skipped out on him or if he did this on purpose. Maybe they weren’t his kids and they were a friend or family member that died or something. Well what the hell. Anything was better than Hooters. She clicked reply

Hi Mark!

You sound too good to be true! I am totally ok with taking those tests, but i feel like I should inform you that I work at Hooters but want to leave. I have given notice that I’m seeking other employment so am free to leave that job. My lease is also up so this works out perfectly. Let me know if you’re ok with where I work and I can come meet you at 1. Hope to hear back! Oh and if I don’t, I’m just going to show up! Lol

Alison Clarke

She sent it and sat there nervously waiting to see a new email. There wasn’t really any problem with Hooters unless they were really conservative. Some of her very liberal feminist friends were very against the place too. She was just about to shut down when a new email arrived.

Thank you Alison!

I think this is going to work out great! I have no problem with chicken wings, and am not judgemental. See you at 1

Mark

‘What if he’s hot? No. I wonder how old he is. The kids are pretty young so he might not be very old. Girl! Forget it! You do not shit where you eat and no matter how hot your boss is, you don’t look at him as anything more than your paycheck.’

Alison jumped up to get ready, thrilled at the possibilities this job potentially presented. The more she thought about it, the more determined she became to see it through. With no bills, and $750 a week, she could save up for her own practice in no time.

‘What if he’s an unbearable asshole?’ She mused. ‘Fuck it. He can’t possibly be a bigger pain in the ass than the guys I deal with now.’

Famous last words.