#“Oh but i disregarded him cause i didn't think he had potential”

[chewysgummies]

Weird to think that I almost scrapped Silent Gaze until I thought about him again and how much I genuinely think he's underappreciated.

[cantwritethetword]

(2024) TickleTober Day 1: Harvest - Going against the Grain

Fic Descript - Bruce agrees to help out on the Kent farm and, after an off-handed comment from Clark, he decides to see how ticklish superman actually is.

~A/N  - Welcome to ticklecrowber2024!!!! (forgive the corny title hehehehehe)

We're starting off this month with a super cute superbat fic requested by an anon. While writing it I'm realising this is gonna be a pre-relationship romantic fic, so hopefully that floats your boat.

Like I mentioned on a post ages ago, I'm not aiming to write full fics for all the prompts this year to hopefully avoid burnout so I'm going into this aiming for a few hundred words - we'll see how that goes.

Hope you like it!

- Enoy! ~

Tag List: @fullsongphilosopher

Masterpost Link 

TickleTober Masterpost

One of the (few) things Bruce hated about being in love with someone was the way it made him do things.

And not in a suggestive or psychological way, literally he felt compelled to gain some sort of relationship 'brownie points' to subtly prove his worth as a potential partner.

Which was how he had ended up here, about to knock on the door of Clark's farm home.

When superman mentioned needing to do some hard labour around the fields up in Kansas, Bruce found himself offering to help before he could even blink. It wasn't until Clark enthusiastically accepted that the batman fully realised what he had gotten himself into.

Mixing their work and personal lives? At Clark's house no less? Doing something that probably was effortless for Clark, but would be a significant physical strain for Bruce? What was he thinking?! He'll look like a fool...

But, as much as his brain loved to insist on how much of a bad idea this was, Bruce had resisted the temptation to cancel.

And so, he now found himself raising his fist and tapping the wooden door-frame.

"Bruce!" Clark grinned, opening the door fully.

The man was dressed so stereotypically farm-y, Bruce thought to himself. Brown leather boots half-covered by a pair of old denim jeans, topped with a plain white tee and - god he looked good in that red flannel...

"-are you... did you want to come in?" Clark chuckled.

Shit, had Clark invited him in already? Was he that distracted by the superhero in front of him that he fully disregarded any input other than the sight- wait it's happening again-

"Yes!" Bruce blurted out, interrupting his own thoughts. "Sorry, yes. Thanks."

Ugh love made him a mess.

As Clark narrated and explained his way through his humble abode, Bruce couldn't help but get stuck in his own head - again. He barely registered that they had left the house and were now walking through the wheat fields. He knew Clark was giving some really important information as to what exactly they needed to do and where they would need to do it, but it was almost as if his brain was more focused on the sound of Clark's voice than what it was actually saying.

Until Clark giggled.

Like a gunshot, Bruce locked onto the sound with unbridled curiosity. What had caused it? Would it happen again? Whatever it was clearly didn't phase Clark, as he was back to talking about whatever farmyard jargon that was interrupted earlier.

A few more moments passed, and Bruce had never been more focused on Clark's surroundings. What could possibly have made superman laugh like that? And how common of an occurrence was it if Clark didn't even acknowledged it?

Thankfully, it happened again - with Bruce watching the whole thing.

As Clark walked, a few stray spikes of wheat brushed against his bare lower forearms (where he had rolled up the aforementioned flannel). His hand twitched reflexively, and he once again let out a soft giggle at the sensation.

And, once again. Bruce's mouth moved before his brain could catch up.

"What was that?"

Clark half-turned his torso to face Bruce. "Oh, it just tickles."

Bruce flushed at the casualness of Clark's response.

"It's actually one of my favourite parts of walking through here..." Clark continued with a genuine smile. "Something so small being so intense, makes me feel soft.... alive... human..."

Only Clark could make getting tickled by a plant sound so endearing, it was almost enough to make Bruce forget the huge tidbit of Clark lore that had just been revealed to him.

Superman's ticklish??

He didn't have much time to feel the full shock of that information, as Clark was already several paces ahead of him. Bruce half-skipped to catch up, and as he did, something in his mind convinced him to snap off a piece of wheat from beside him.

As they continued their walk towards the edge of the field where they were about to begin work, and Clark continued yapping, Bruce ran his fingers over the wheat piece in his hand. Was he seriously about to try to tickle superman? Would Clark be alright with it? Would he find it weird and repulsive and never speak to Bruce again cause how could he possibly think that was a normal thing to-

stop - Bruce interrupted himself.

no overthinking

Bruce took a breath, slightly sped up his footsteps to bring himself right behind Clark, and ran the wheat stalk along the side of Clark's neck.

Clark folded with a shriek and a giggle, his smile never fading as he gave Bruce a quizzical look.

That smile was all the invitation Batman needed.

With a smirk, Bruce tackled Clark into the wheat next to them and climbed on top of his chest before frantically twiddling the wheat stem against any potentially ticklish bare skin he could find. Clark's neck, ears, collarbones - even the small patch on his tummy that was exposed from his shirt riding up as they fell - nothing was safe.

And Clark's laughter was like birdsong - it was the most free, happy, genuine giggling Bruce had ever heard. So much so, the billionaire opted to snatch another piece of wheat to use in his free hand against Clark's forearms - which were currently doing fuck-all to fight against the tickly attacks (aside from clinging to and breaking some nearby wheat stems, but Bruce theorised that was mostly for Clark to resist fighting back... cute).

After a sufficient tickling, Bruce paused - mentally checking for any signs of annoyance on Clark's face and letting the man calm down for a few moments.

"Why'd you stop?" Clark asked breathily without missing a beat, and now looking slightly disappointed.

Once again caught aback by Clark's openness, Bruce stuttered and floundered for an answer. "I... I was just... I wanted to... make sure... you..."

Clark laughed. "No need to panic, it was just a question."

Bruce chuckled, still a little embarrassed.

"You always worry so much." Superman smiled, poking Bruce's neck with one of the wheat stalks he had snatched during the tickle-attack to emphasise his point.

Bruce squeaked (though he would later insist this wasn't true), his face flushing a deep red.

"Oh?" Clark grinned menacingly, rolling himself and Bruce over to flip their positions with clearly little-to-no effort. "The dark, scary batman is ticklish too?"

oh god

And, after being thoroughly tickled, Bruce spent the entire time they worked on the farm trying to convince himself the look on his own face before Clark tickled him definitely wasn't nervous excitement, and that he definitely wouldn't give anything do it all again.

Definitely not.

[oletus-manors-log]

⚰️ ah !! i noticed it says we're still allowed to send you letters , still . if not then disregard this with my apologies ! if it is alright , could i request a norton campbell x reader ? i was thinking of something akin to taking care of each other after a match . it can be a small drabble or short story preferably , if that is alright . your writing is something i only recently stumbled upon , and i think it is incredible ! you are very talented , and i am wishing you the best !! thank you for reading , take care , observer !

OBSERVER'S NOTE:

" Hello, and yes, I'm still open to receiving letters (requests). Don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong (unless you were one of my mutuals, in case... I do apologize for the potential hurt I end up causing /lh).

The request with Norton is so cute though- the idea of the prospector and his s/o taking care of each other after a match and especially against a hard one where the two won? Oh, it's so cute. I do hope this lives up to your expectation, even if it took me ages to get to this (also I kept this for too long because your words made my weeks because it's been stressful).

Again, I hope you enjoy this drabble! I enjoyed writing this a little too much, haha. "

Wounded Afterthought

It was a rare sight to see Norton be with someone like this, and especially with the mere thought of him being worried about another person after a tough match. People had assumed that he would simply ignore them, just like what he did to everyone else.

However, the same cannot be said for those that knew him well.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly as he patched them up, his eyes focused onto the scabs and scratches they got. They went up against Polun (from what he heard), so he knew that it had went rough. He could hardly believe that they had a tie with how difficult the triplets were in their streak.

... The only saving grace, however, was that it had been Arms Factory and there were more competent survivors that made sure to keep the team together.

Feeling a gloved hand on his shoulder, he turned his head to you, who simply shook your head. Ah. He must've looked terrifying, hm?

"I'm fine, Norton," he heard you answer, the feeling of the weight of your hand leaving as you placed it on your lap. Your attire had been torn, but it was better than last time.

Good, you aren't too heavily injured, he mused, sighing. "Quartz, you know that I'm doing this out of worry. Polun is a hard one to deal with, let alone escape against with the team you were with."

There goes an endearing nickname he called you— Quartz. He calls you something else, however, but that was the most frequent he'd choose. Unknowingly, of course.

"I know that. However, everyone wasn't as terrible against him, Norton," you reasoned, raising your left hand to gently cup his. Your gloved thumb traced over his cheek, and although he didn't want to show he liked it, you two could see him lean over involuntarily.

"After all, if they were, I wouldn't be here in your arms now, would I?"

Norton couldn't find an answer to that.

It was, unfortunately, true. If you had been hurt, he wouldn't have you in his grasp— he would've had you under Emily's care. And yet here you are, bandaged up, clothes torn, but still alive.

He couldn't help but sigh and bury his head on the crook of your neck, closing his eyes right after. He let go of you to simply adjust the position of his arms, wrapping it around your body to keep you close to him.

He wouldn't admit it, of course, but you can be quite stubborn for a priest. Not that he particularly cares— to him, what mattered was your safety, not your occupation.

... That, and unlike that Priestess, you rely on your own wits and snap decision to save you from being chaired.

Perhaps it's why he is so protective of you, and yet he simply backs off when you prove him wrong. After all, how could he when you both knew that you were right?

"... Maybe not. But I'd still like to make sure you're not in danger, if I can help it," he admitted, making you laugh at his own concern. He would normally grunt when someone else does it, but he didn't have the heart to do it to you.

You, a priest, who have left your past beliefs to find faith in a different God.

"Dear, with you on my side, I'll never be in danger. I can promise you that."

And for a mere moment, Norton knew those words rang true than the ones written in scripture.

© ᴏʟᴇᴛᴜs-ᴍᴀɴᴏʀs-ʟᴏɢ | 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟹 ✧ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛs ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀʀᴇ | ᴀʀᴛ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢs ᴛᴏ ʀɪɢʜᴛғᴜʟ ᴏᴡɴᴇʀs

[yanderecandystore]

I was reading about Azir and MC who either given up or not playing his games. With Azir being controlling, I thought about something. What if there is something that Azir can't control, like death? Because what if he made one scenario with MC who has given up that causes them great harm or worse death. Either MC is still young and doing shit, or maybe they are old that inevitability of death is near.

Stress is sometimes good, but too much is bad and may cause some.... Unfortunate accident. :)

Be mild, Azir

In today's episode of Choco not knowing how to goddamn read: Another request where I fixate on only ONE aspect of a request! Hwrqefjegjq I'm so sorry boo ;-;

I just realized something… he isn't a player… he is a craftsman 💀 he spends too much time taking pieces of different planets and realms to make into snow globes… I don't know why I named him a player lmao

I decided to be mean and make Azir's life worse by shoving another person to take care of you.

TW/Tags: mentions of reincarnation; death; complete obviousness/disregard for human life // the depiction of the afterlife is vague and based on nothing that I'm aware of(?); Subconsciously, it could be based on something that I don't remember // Multiple reader deaths (someone keeps killing you)

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Guardian Angel [Yandere!Eldritch!OC x GN!Reader - Headcanon]:

Oh Azir, how I missed playing with you just like how you miss playing with your darling-

I think he never really bothered with getting humans back from the dead, especially since they just tend to be born again. They always go back to Earth, of course, so he never bothered searching for specific people to put back in his little games.

But an essential character like you can't be easily replaced and you have too much potential to be forgotten by the universe like that- So, he would absolutely violate your natural born right to have a peaceful eternal rest.

What? It's not unheard of for entities to simply revive their favorites, although his brethren aren't really allowed to do that, he simply wishes to continue the plot you were previously following.

Which one? Well, all of them. All of them in their right times. Think of it as resetting a game and starting all over, but the mechanics slightly shift through every playthrough.

You're the same you as you always will be, maybe with a different appearance, a different mentality molded by the variety of environments and backgrounds he can put you on- Oh, but you're just his favorite actor in each of them! How is he NOT expected to bring your soul back regardless of the trials and errors?

The first time you died was the only time he slightly felt, well, worried? It wasn't exactly guilt nor grief, but it was something like a sense of emptiness especially if it was his fault… Making you overly stressed, be it at a young reckless age or at your last moments standing- He probably wouldn't feel your loss in the same way mortals do.

His favorite toy broke, his game feels incomplete without it, and although reanimating your body was quite easy… hm… pretending to be you was fun at first but it lacked the spark of something natural and random.

He liked to be in control of everything, yes, sometimes watching but most of the time finding ways to implement himself in the lives of others- He didn't want to pretend to be you forever though, nor did he like the idea of using your inactive body as a skin puppet, the flesh was a fun but not so intriguing part of the mortal experience.

He needed to find your soul, wherever it was. Searching the different realms for it was easy, and quite boring actually, but getting you to come back was something else.

He wasn't really allowed here. None of his kind was, they were powerful and followed no "rules" but had some limitations when it came to the simple task of bringing someone back from the dead. It's not like they couldn't do it, it's that they shouldn't.

Would he really taint the afterlife forever and snatch you away just to keep himself entertained for longer? Yeah, yeah he would.

In the mix of different voices, a colorful sea of different souls collectively sleeping and awaiting their return, one of them screamed while being forcefully dragged back to their already rotting corpse.

Ah dear… A rotting corpse isn't suited for souls to stay in, although you looked adorable as a living-dead variant of yourself, you didn't seem to be cooperating with the vision he originally had in mind.

His first experiment to bring you back was a failure, as your body was no longer suited for a soul- But with just a few adjustments he got to bring you back with your same appearance and memories intact! Your body was healthy again, aren't you glad to be back?

… Ugh… Why can't you stop complaining to him about your death? People die all the time, shouldn't you be glad he brought you back from that boring afterlife?

Sleeping peacefully for eternity sounds absolutely tedious, he can't imagine why anyone would consider it a good choice to spend their time.

Considering no normal person would feel good about being brought back to life by their killer (directly or not) especially knowing this person has the power to keep you bound to them forever, it is understandable that you would be quite pissed about it.

So maybe keeping your memories wasn't a good idea, but he knew a quick way to fix it.

As long as you belong to his simulations, living inside them you're not going to go anywhere else, dead or alive… He "could" try to take a piece of the afterlife and shove it in a snowglobe, but truly, that's something that he doesn't have any control over.

It was too tricky to try to trap it there, whenever he would come back the globe would be empty. It doesn't matter what arcane dark magic he uses, he can't ever keep that "terrain" fixated in one location.

But, he could maybe make his own..? Oh, wouldn't that be lovely? Instead of having to constantly take you back by force, he can just make a self-sufficient system of afterlife and reincarnation, he could make it so there was no other choice than to keep the cycle going as much as he could!

Or he could make something special for you for once, how would you like a smaller snow globe just for you? Every fantasy your heart desired could be real if you just behave a little more.

Ah but there was also one small thing he didn't really consider… So, remember how he isn't welcome in the afterlife? Yeah, he is also not "allowed" to take a soul and force it back to the realm of the living, especially not a soul that is screaming and begging to be left alone already.

Someone is responsible to keep these souls intact, perhaps there are multiples like this entity- But only he came to fix the job.

Think of it this way, you have a being that is almost like a guardian angel, with a grim reaper mentality that keeps chasing your soul to bring you back to the afterlife (the correct version of it). And on the other hand you have Azir, a being that keeps bringing you back and who although "lacks authority" over your little "angel", won't ever back down about doing what he wants whenever he wants.

And then there's you, being brought back for a certain period of time, perhaps decades in your lifetime before having to die again and again by a safekeeper of souls. One wants to play with you like a toy and the other sees you as some sort of sheep that got lost from the herd.

If there's Hell, I would bet you it's more pleasant than this existence. Hah, wouldn't it be hilarious if you got them both to fall for you? Hah, as if that would happen.

I like to imagine your little "guardian angel" and Azir have to be passive aggressive when interacting- As any small fight could lead to a war between realms and let's be honest, the ones getting the short end of the stick here would be you and all of the mortals of every other planet and realm.

Everyone is fucked except the ones that can withstand the existence after existence itself has imploded, and no one really wants to see the age of nothingness and darkness return, life as fragile as it is, brings light to those that don't understand it's real value- But miss it dearly when it's gone.

What I mean is that congratulations, I'm giving you another mythical boyfriend who will try to restore order to your peaceful afterlife while the other one keeps bringing you back out of spite at this point.

It's not just about you, it's also because he is well aware that shiny looking asshole is probably spending time with you in that calm, "wonderful" place that only hosts exclusively mortal souls.

Well… But now that I think about it, technically this whole process of reincarnation is technically working inside the laws of the universe. You are born, you live, you die, you get sent to the other side and then get reborn again. It is also sort of very beneficial for both parties despite their mutual hatred towards one another.

You really need to find a cosmic lawyer or something like that though, this work practice is really unethical since you're very much aware of why and who keeps you inside this vicious cycle, it's hard to live a life you're constantly getting reminded of your previous one.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

I just wanted to draw the three bois in human disguise, Diph being angry at Azir for being reckless and getting unwanted attention from an "angel" (and also for letting the human die like that, like bro, you have so much power yet you did nothing?).

And then reader have to deal with this bs.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[imadethisaccountforaheadcannon]

I know my hate of TSAMS earth is mostly irrational at this point but

So was everyone's hate towards moon

She was probably made by moons and probably bloodmoons suffering somehow and her ""security protocol"" would have involved her beating up old moon or worst keeping him imprisoned and self righteously lecture him on anti violence

so sun can keep doing his emotionally abusive shit to him if he was stile alive.

Worst he would stile think he deserved it even through sun would be harrassing him beforehand.

She has taken the places in the plot that should have gorn to moon twice that I know of

one where she dated monty the other where sun and her were telling off eclipse when later on she was ""scared of imposing"" when lunar came back oh so it's on not to impose with lunar but not with moon.

The Monty dating one is wrong cause of how they are dragging down monty for someone who's so judgemental and aroace people can date and Monty's reaction makes more sense with how hard it would be to get moon to date him.

And the telling off eclipse thing is wrong cause they like to pander to the sun worshippers and pretend that moon didn't get potentially the equivalent of SAied for a robot by him. Yet these two earth who he didn't do shit to and sun who's unintentional suffering is overshadowed by how much shit he got away with gets to demand an apology.

Worst eclipses predatory behaviour towards moon gets justified by a sad back story literally labelled that and moon saying his last self wasn't a bad person is treated like a yeah right and pigs fly moment.

Worst I heard that he went back to dissing his last self even through suns the one who even now stile takes advantage of him and literally everybody's turned against him. Like this dude should have got some closure earth took that from him.

Annoyingly most people disregard it happening to moon just cause it didn't involve private parts cause they oh so like minimising everything bad that happened to moon.

I am certain earth's a sociopathic narcissist cause sun constantly getting away with his lack of empathy towards his brother and the lack of rep damaging consequences would seem like an advantage to the creator. The being good at childcare nice to kids thing doesn't discount this cause being good at house things makes a person admired.

And with all these things to me earth is shown to be hanging around new moon being a omen and I see them being labelled as ""cutesy"" hard to see them as cute knowing that the only reason she's not hurting him is that moon suffered memory loss

BTW I heard KC didn't give a crap about sun killing eclipse and it's certainly not cause eclipse may have raped moon.

I suspect he might have some damage from the seperation. If I hear shit about moon being entitled just cause he's pissed over all the horrible things that happened to him i'll be so pissed as well. I'm allready pissed about him game canonically getting tortured and possibly killed by sun enough allready.

Okay it only occured to me after a bit how disrespectful it was to earth to correct lunars spelling when he literally just came back to life.

Actually I wonder if he had robot brain damage as well.

[more-than-a-princess]

"Well, we do not exactly have amusement parks in my country," Sonia explained, though no matter the context it appeared to be rather ludicrous to her new friend. Just about as strange as having Manjiro Sano as her new friend: yes, it was common for those in crime families to be acquainted with street gang members for potential inductees, but it was the circumstances that he'd declared their friendship. Frankly, she wouldn't have been surprised if he'd declared a vendetta, or however the Japanese enacted a long-term revenge. "There is a carousel in the capital's largest park, but that is about it. It is not a large place."

That also helped with controlling the makeshift 'leadership.' It was whispered knowledge how much the country's leaders and law enforcement resided in the Borghese Family's back pocket: Novoselic couldn't be as militarized as they were without arms assistance from the mafia. There was too much guilt, she knew, in her family's line of work: at least from how she felt day in and day out. Her mother, in contrast, held no such scruples: she'd battled her way to the top, to create the first entirely female-run organization and she intended to keep it that way. Anyone who got in her path was an obstacle to be exterminated, with her only getting her hands dirty unless she needed to. An example she'd set for her daughter, though even Sonia's hands weren't clean. "I think you only fail the ones who have left you if you stop trying, Sano-san," She replied, waiting for him to rev the engine and really send her trailing security into a panic. "If you stop trying to cultivate and caring for your family, your Toman family. You will only have failed them if you turn your back on everyone. So do not do it: you will not be able to live with the consequences, I imagine."

Just because she'd taken a life before didn't mean she'd come to terms with it, or if she'd ever will. But from what she knew of street gangs, she doubted Sano's friends had done so, or would be prepared to do it if the time ever came. Their lives, she supposed, were mostly innocent mischief with a side of fistfights, an errant knife or two here and there. An assigned kill delivered by someone more powerful than they could imagine, with more influence on every aspect of their world...that was something different. And while Sonia didn't know any of them, she felt compelled not to make them endure any of it. To let them be teenagers for as long as possible, not having to grow up too early, too soon. Not like her own adolescence. "I do not think I deserve all of the credit for stopping you," She replied as they came to a stoplight, giving her car time to catch up with them, one of her guards halfway leaning out the window to shout at them. "Do not disregard the strength of your own conscience. It is there, even if you do not listen to it-OH!"

He hadn't given her much warning, but Sonia gripped him tighter as he sped up, everything going by faster and faster. Her heartbeat too, pumping adrenaline through her veins even before she stepped foot on the first roller coaster. "Whoo! Yes, this is excellent!" She cried as he weaved them around cars, crossing far more lanes of traffic than was safe. She laughed when he took sharp turns, causing the bike to lean closer towards the ground, so close to causing traumatic injuries. Close, but not quite.

"Apologize? Whatever for?" She chuckled as he finally slowed down, certain they'd left her security several stops further back on the highway. "That was such fun! I would ask to do it again, but we have plans we must keep, do we not? Though I shall not mention you kidnapped me: I fear that might bring you and Toman unwanted attention, and I would rather not present the opportunity."

The central area of Tokyo was soon behind them, making way for the quieter Chiba Prefecture. Far more suburban than the rest of the city and ideal for families, less ideal for street gangs. As Sonia looked around, Sano's motorcycle was now the only one in the vicinity, with onlookers noticing his embroidered Toman jacket and whispering amongst themselves. From what she could gather each time they stopped, it was something along the lines of hoping the delinquent wouldn't cause trouble for them. She sighed: as if a piece of clothing would assure chaos. "Disney?" She piped up, hoping to distract him so he wouldn't overhear the gossip. "I have heard of their theme parks! Yes, with the parades and all: they apparently have a haunted mansion too! I would very much like to see that, I am sure it is most beautiful and macabre. But why won't you wear the ears?"

From what she'd seen on television, ears were an essential part of a Disney visit: every visitor, young and old, donned a pair of animal ears in order to explore the park. Surely that included leaders of street gangs. Sonia waited for him to get off the parked motorcycle first before holding onto the seat, needing to balance herself as she slid off the bike and back onto the pavement, high heels and all. He had a point about the disguise: it was likely useless, and he was the one making a helpful contribution to their anonymity that day by storing his Toman coat with the motorcycle. Sonia frowned in thought: even without his coat, they stuck out together. From her expensive clothing to Italian designer handbag to her high heels, she looked entirely overdressed for a theme park and towered over him. Sano was already shorter than her, she suspected, even in her flat feet, but in her shoes there was probably 20 centimeters height difference between them, leaving his eyes in line with somewhere, if he chose to be respectful, he shouldn't be looking. She needed a better disguise and fast, her gaze darting around the parking lot to the opposite end, away from the theme park: a shopping mall, Ikspiari.

"Tell you what," She grinned mischievously, nodding her head towards the mall. "Give me twenty minutes to turn myself into someone neither Toman nor the Borghese Family would be looking for. It will be fun!"

She was true to her word, once inside disappearing into a brightly-lit shop targeted at young people and emerging seventeen minutes later. All of her luxury attire had been cast aside in favor of a pale blue nondescript school uniform, complete with a plaid pleated skirt, pale blue blazer, neck bow, a hair bow slid beside the blonde braid arranged over the top of her head, white thigh high socks, and a more practical pair of loafers. She'd even bought a traditional faux leather school bag with a Sanrio and a Mickey Mouse charm hanging from the side. Plenty of space to add more charms, as normal school girls did.

"Thank you for waiting," She beamed, twirling once before him looking far more like an ordinary exchange student, rather than the heir to one of the world's most dangerous crime families. "Is this not a good and fitting disguise? I asked for the most appropriately feminine outfit, something a normal girl would wear! The shop associates insisted on the blue, for it matches my eyes. But now that we are appropriately hidden in plain sight, shall we be off?"

Mikey tried to adjust the hat on her head a few times more, but finally gave up on it being a tad lopsided. He was sure his head was larger than hers anyway. He took a step back, ebony hues scanning her "disguise", before nodding his head in approval. His amused expression darkened for a brief moment as she brought up her family's hand in Satori's death, but he shrugged it off. "It wasn't your fault, and you took care of it like you said you would. Life is all about doing what you want to do. It's shorter than you'd think. Besides... I'm surprised you've never been to am amusement park before."

He glanced over at her frantic subordinates that had seemingly(and annoyingly) followed them. "Well... guess the disguise is basically useless. You coming or not?" The blonde asked, already mounting his bike. A moment later he felt her wrap her arms around his waist once more and he grinned. Some might say he was being a bad influence, but he thought he was doing good. It was obvious that Sonia wasn't given many opportunities to have fun, and he could tell that her family was overbearing.

He didn't miss the way she spoke about killing someone, the words implying that she herself, had taken a life. He never thought a girl would be capable of such a thing, but he believed her just then. "I can imagine... Just the fact that I failed to save Baji and Satori. Somedays it feels like I killed them myself. My gang was formed to protect my friends, yet I failed them." The rev of the engine managed to drown his words out some, and he half hoped that she hadn't even heard them. He shouldn't be showing this girl his weaknesses like this.

Yet, she insisted he'd been strong. "Only 'cause you stopped me. I would have killed her otherwise. And enough with this near stranger thing. We're friends now, all right?" Manjiro was finding that she reminded him a lot of Emma. Not just because of her foreign name and her blonde hair, but she had a similar inner strength to her. Of course, his sister would never be involved in the mafia, and he didn't think she'd ever be able to take a life. Yet, the energy they shared made Sonia seem more familiar than he should have been with her. "Thank you for that. I believe you'll see it true."

As Mikey winded down the road, he noticed her entourage was attempting to follow them. He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "These guys sure don't give up. Hang on princess. They'll learn they can't tail me so easily." He revved his bike and sped up, flipping the car off that was treading on their heels. He passed the cars going highway speed, and then suddenly shot for the exit, crossing all the lanes of traffic. Sonia's men couldn't make the exit in time, and they were forced to travel on. He finally slowed back to a normal speed. "Sorry about that. We don't need a damn escort to ride a roller coaster. If you get in trouble, just say I kidnapped you." He flashed her a carefree grin, before turning his attention back to the road.

There were quite a few theme parks in the area, but since it was her first time going to one, he wanted to take her to the best of the best. "Thought we'd go to Tokyo Disneyland. They've got it all... Ears, not that I'd wear them. Roller coasters. Of course, the food stands." He found her description of food stands quite entertaining. "They even have petting zoos, parades sometimes, and all the Disney characters walking around." He could feel the cool wind hitting him, as he drove towards the Tokyo Tower in the distance.

It didn't take them long to get there, and he was lucky enough to find a good parking space, although he'd forgotten how expensive the place was, frowning at the bill just for the parking. The last time he'd come here, he'd been a kid, and he'd gone with Shinichiro(Who had paid for everything.) The memory was bittersweet. "You wanna keep your disguise or leave it here? Guess your family knows you went off either way." Mikey had worn his Tomen uniform since he'd been on official business, but he took the jacket off at least, leaving it in the storage compartment. He didn't want to gain any gang related attention while they were just trying to have a fun day.

[pretty-little-pink]

Author hummed in assent as he heard Host quietly relay the questions he wanted asked. Alright. He smirked a little bit at the rude remark against the guards and stroked his hair back with his chin. He was still unbelievably proud of Host. "Host wishes to say that he is not pleased to have been locked away like a prisoner. To be treated as if he was nothing, and to be told that he did not matter." Not quite an exaggeration, as it was close to how the original conversation had gone. His facial fins grew hot with anger as he spoke the next part in a venom laced tone. "And that he does not appreciate how the guards treated both him and myself, and how they belittled us both." He adjusted Host so he could show off his still bleeding hand. He hadn't noticed it at the moment but there was a small signature. A guard. They had carved it into his fin while he was distracted, the bastards. He growled and contemplated biting off the entire section but decided against. Host didn't need that much blood in the water. "They insisted that you had ordered that I be heavily restrained and with an armed escort. One of them had a muzzle, and the other a leash. He wishes to know your stance on these things." - The king watched as Author was openly affectionate with Host, and how pride radiated off of him. Host himself looked completely exhausted and it nearly was enough to pull him off his throne to check on him but Author's words made him still. Well, it wasn't the first time that the elder had been his brother's mouthpiece. "I will say that I certainly did not give orders for either of you to be locked away or restrained. You both were to have two guards each, as to keep away any potential enemies, but they were to stay silent and send a servant to complete orders. Not lock you away and... belittle you." He spoke carefully, watching each expression on Author's face. He knew better than most how his rage would build, slowly, silently, until it exploded in a deadly fire that decimated kingdoms. His 'eyebrows' -really bits of dye that he found interesting- knitted together when he saw the blood wafting. He focused his gaze on it but it was ripped away when Author pulled his own hand back, and cursed. He hadn't seen anything from his throne but Author must have. At the mention of the muzzle and leash his gaze darkened and he 'stood' up. He swam down to Author and gazed at him, then down to Host. King Aerlian stroked down his youngest's arm with a light touch then sighed. His gins flared out widely. "I did give the order for an armed escort, and there were to be restraints. Not for you, or you, Host, but for any enemies apprehended. You two... I don't want you hurt. I did not realize those most eager to hurt you were the ones supposed to protect." /Hi! I'm sorry it has been so long. It's been a hectic week. This dumbass got into a car accident and broke their leg. So painkillers have been ~fun~. I'm home now, but with the storms going on and my own lack of consciousness cause of the pills, I'm scattered. /How have you been?

/ ahh!!! hi!!! I hope you're doing a little better now!! Don't force yourself to be here if you can't! I understand!! It's good to know you still exist though I've been. Lonely, bored. The usual when no one is here tbh ^^; But pretty much good otherwise!!

Host listened quietly to Author speak, nuzzling against him when he could feel him getting angry. He wasn't happy that he was hurt, but he didn't think he could do anything about that. Hopefully Author would be alright, though he knew he would be. He always turned out alright, in the end.

He wasn't surprised that the guards had acted upon their own wishes, disregarding whatever the king had wanted. Oh, he would have a trip going through all of the guards and what they've done -and don't do. He shifted slightly when their father came close, offering a little smile up at him. He was glad that their father cared for them, and that he trusted Host with his judgement about Author. Host knew Author would be safe, would take care of him.

"Most of the guards are very very bad people.", Host spoke softly. "I've... never told you. I was scared of them.", he still was, but it was easier with Author here -and knowing he could, indeed, control if he needed to, also helped ease his fear a little. "Most all think badly of me. Many are verbal about it. Many are physical about it too.", he mumbled. The guards were always careful not to hurt him too much, so there would never be questions asked -and if there were, he had to lie, in fear of worse.

"Loen is one of the worst...", he murmured. Not many were as bad as that one, thankfully, though that didn't make it much better.

[kingofthewebxxx]

Oh she was a tricky one! He liked that, he liked that a lot. Whether this was good or bad could only be answered in time. Although he was disappointed in her tone, such intelligence yet she had to ruin it all with her little mannerisms, he would teach her about that in time but he had no intention to do so now, after all he saw no reason not to laugh at any potential mistakes she made that he could take advantage of. “You have started to assume things about me already, how quaint; how very quaint of you. We both know you dropped yourself into that one, if what you claim is true then you too would truly be deveststed not to be able to play the game with someone of my skill. I can always send my lackeys if you would prefer that instead? What makes you so different from all of them, I've played with those who claim to be on my level or more and in the end broke them like the little toys they are!”

He would watch her facial expression ever so carefully for the answer he sought, the other people in the background were meaningless. Her remark didn't change his resolve at all, he wondered if she was truly naive enough to think it would, he decided to play along to it a little bit, he always liked playing games within games. Whatever this creature was, she was interesting sure, but in the end, he had no reason to believe nothing more than the usual would happen, yes she could kill him oh so easily but how dull was that? No creativity, if someone was that boring he would rather be dead than have to live through the boredom, he smirked at her, trying to come to a calculated bet on whether she would bore him. There would either be a deal or lots and lots of blood spilt, as much as it was what he was expecting he wanted there to be a third option to brighten the whole affair up a bit; add some spice to it. “Such a wild and beautiful creature, shame it goes to waste, crawling around in the mud, the mud being this dreadfully boring plain of existence, don't you agree?” he teased with a quick wink, of course, this was part of a test, it all was.

She was deflecting, releasing a heavy sigh and rolling his eyes he replied “oh come now, don't ruin it now! Just make something up! I won't know any different, I mean of course I will eventually and I will destroy everything until I find my answer but still, there is no need for you to be so defensive. Maybe I just want to see if your capable of telling the truth darling, there is no harm in that is there? I'm afraid you aren't going to be able to play me like a violin as I'm sure you do with that very talented mouth of yours but please continue, I like seeing it in action.” It was half disregard and other half compliment, he wasn't going to explain himself why should he? “Do me a favour and get rid of your guards next time, their teeth chattering is going to cause the whole street to catch a cold and we don't what that, not yet anyway. I'm not done with some of them yet, but never mind that, what will you offer me for the return of the artefact, do use that scheming brain of yours to its full capacity, don't be boring” he warned with a cold grin, he wasnt particularly interested in what she could offer in material value or anything of meaning, more of how creative she could be if she could impress him.

@malumxsubest

uncurling her hands from her abdomen, amelia placed her arms against the wooden armrests on either side of her. the pads of her fingers moving methodically in sync to an unheard tune while her eyes remained intensely unwavering. her broad grin settled to a faint smile in amusement. her brows furrowed in faux remorse as her lips pouted, " shall i apologize for assuming you to be like every man? " she placed a lithe hand over where her heart was and inclined her head a polite bow. " sincerest apologies, love. oh, i love a good game. however, that's where you wrong, darling. i wouldn't be sad if i don't see you again. no, no, no, ― " amelia wagged her index finger at him, clicking her tongue at him as if he was a child. " you would've been sad. i saw your little grin. you're having as much fun as i am. it seems we both loathe handling ordinary people. surely, you do not want to go back, now would you? "

his coldness may had frightened others, but she could feel herself grinning once again. the edges of her eyes crinkling as the smile reached up her eyes whereas her own bodyguards that were left standing shuffled in place; nervous with the whole ordeal. " smart and sexy. what an ideal package, " she replied with a purr, leaning forward in her seat as if she desired to sink her fangs into his neck. amelia went to tuck her hair behind her right ear that cascaded over her shoulders from her slight movement, completely relaxed despite the slight tension within the warehouse. eugh, her guards were on edge and it was beginning to grate her nerves. why did she bother hiring such incompetent, weak men? " you are correct on a few things. but i'll let you stew within that brain of yours as to what they were. however, i would love to hear of your methods. i'm not one to shy away to learn some thing new. " she responded with ease as she leaned against her seat once more.

" hm, i will hunt them later regardless. perhaps i shall indulge. but not right now. i cannot believe how considerate you are. a man after my own heart, keeping my expectations in mind. come on darling, if you keep saying the right things, i'll take you for dinner. " amelia bantered with ease, a tittering of a laugh resonating from the confines of her slender throat. but it was cut short with a whine, a playful frown tugging at the edges of her lips. " oh dear, now i'm disappointed in you. why would you interested in my past if they were chatty, hm? you're just fishing for information, which i don't mind. i respect it even. but i'm the wrong ocean for that, darling. try again. what else would you like to know? "

[katerinaaqu]

Awww girl 🫂🫂❤️ I am so happy you liked it! You are so sweet as always! It's okay I was partially expecting that it wouldn't get much attention. It still hurt a bit of course but it's okay. I ain't writing very positively about the musical and all so yeah and not even one of the famous creators anyways hehe no problem 😊 aww ✨️ thanks dear!

Hehe yeah poor guy! 😅 I remembered how you brilliantly said he would start with a very nasty hangover hahaha 😆 I just had to add that! The guy practically consumed a crater of wine by himself hahaha he should be having a nasty wake up call! Hahaha yeah the walls strike again. Oh my you are right or a prison!

Yeah because in Greece drunkenness was severely discouraged so yeah feeling guilty that he got drunk in front of these women plus yeah the opening up. Oh yeah and even if he can grasp it he tries to make excuses in his head because she was his savior and all. Oh yeah for sure Odysseus is too clever even under his fear or spells he would still think that it was very convenient they had a cure for hangover ready.

Oh my your imagination puts me to shame dear! 🫠 originally I wondered whether it would simply be a different medication that just works on stomach but man it could be so that they can handle him more! Oh gosh yeah even if he suspects her flirting he has no clue yet how BADLY she wants to be sleeping with him now!

Hahahaha she is a reverse Dilla isn't she? Hahaha Dilla has medicine ready to help Caleb but Calypso first causes the problem and then she brings the solution hahaha 😆 😂 oh yeah even if it was just his fear for Gods speaking louder it could also be her spell making him more susceptible but he definitely catches up more and more and even if his instict tingles on her motivations he still does not want to put two and two together. Hahahahahaha it is perfect isn't it? 😂😂😂

Yeah I was inspired by many abuse victims who make up excuses on the behavior of their abuser whether the abuser didn't know or that they themselves deserve it. In his case is a bit the first. She saved him and helped him so she shouldn't wish him bad right? But yeah just excuses indeed plus his fear jndeed that he has insulted enough gods already. Oh man for sure Calypso uses that to her advantage as she did the night prior. And yeah Circe was a powerful goddess who could crush him but she seemed more considering plus he had his men back then. Now he is alone and Calypso seems to be raising red flag after red flag in his head now.

Hahahaha always! Oh man you are so amazing in your analysis! Indeed she might as well wish to manipulate him into believing he is in a safe place but man yeah Odysseus gets more and more suspicious of this being all a stage or too set up. But yes she is his savior so he tries to indeed convince himself that his worries are misplaced that he is just being paranoid.

Hahahahahaha oh gosh maybe? 🤣 like the poor guy lying down and not getting up hahaha oh man girl! Maybe indeed how they rush to his assistance can be potentially how he loses his freedom of movement and his autonomy! Oh man she is getting all the more creepy isn't she? Hahaha oh gosh then I am succeeding hahaha my plan was to give an explanation as to why she does what she does and maybe give her the human dimension but she is still obviously a manipulator and abuser.

Yup. Some of the worse abuses come from genuine emotions. Which is basically what happens here. She loves and desires him but she disregards his choices and she is not willing to let him go. Hahahaha the "simpleton" part was also in homeric poems hahaha basically he described Odysseus as someone who seems like having no idea what is happening like having an aloof look but then he starts speaking and eveeyone can tell his true intelligence. 😆 but yeah she basically gets too charmed but she disregards him and doesn't respect his choices. And yeah although someone can sympathize with the unrequited love her methods are definitely unacceptable especially indeed as she starts caring less and less about his consent

Hahaha yeah. Not jumping on him was a good idea not because it would be a clear violation but because he would remember and resent her!

Oh man "opening the shell by force" is so accurate! Hahaha creeps rising

Yeah at this point is where Odysseus thinks she tries a bit TOO MUCH to show him that she cares to the point of being suffocating. Yeah in her mind is the necessary evil so that he would get things off his chest but yes to Odysseus is a clear violation to his free will.. oh man yeah Odysseus tensing again and yes her lust speaking again.

Yes I thought it would fit. In a way that is one of the "decent" conversations she has. In a way returns the favor of him opening up with her opening up in return but yes at this point she might as well also use it to drive the conversation to the emotional manipulation of her wanting him to stay with her. In a way bringing him to the point of feeling sorry that she is lonely so that he would be coersed to stay. But you are absolutely right. She is surrounded by yes men (women) and people who grant her all her wishes. That is not proper company for sure and there is a tragedy to that which I wanted to portray here. However yes it also made her feel that she is not entitled to someone saying no to her and that no is unacceptable to her now. In a way Odysseus is a gift sent to her someone she loved and someone beyond her control but yes her actions are definitely inexcusable. I am so glad you feel so!

Oh man I couldn't have said it better! 😶 oh yeah for a few seconds it almost felt like her emotional trick would work but yes Odysseus becomes all the more aware and these games confuse him. Yeah I fathomed all gods have this kind of arrogance here since they are immortal and all.

Absolutely. He has this gorgeous woman (an immortal goddess no less) that could have anyone she wanted showing such an interest in him. Who wouldn't be flattered? Especially indeed as Odysseus is no longer young and all but yes all the more now especially now that he is back in full health he realizes more and more that he has to leave.

Hahahahaha yeah 🤣 hypocrisy 101 here hahaha 😆. Yup basically she says the reason he has to return is pitiful and unimportant and to put it on top she reminds him in a way that he was disliked by many and uses his friends and comrades who betrayed him as the sole proof of that.

Oh man yeah here it is! 😶 Calypso begins full attack now banging him relentlessly with things that she knows happened to him but she brings them before him to make him see her point of view. And yes she wants to show their betrayal as simply evil act while indeed it was much more complicated than that. Oh man she does seem like she kept that information just in case she needed to use it doesn't it? And yeah she knows but she treats it as the last solution to make him "see the truth" while in reality it is far from it. 😢

Oh man thanks dear 🙏 and man so true! And yeah Odysseus can understand because he had suffered with them. He also had no food on the island and he also started to fear for their safety. He was part of it. Ans man for real the cows being there was absolutely brutal for their psychology!

Yeah again I used the idea that Polites was his best friend so he would still defend him and wishing to see things from his perspective as much as possible even if he too has some doubts. Yeah anyone can be unfair in rage and frustration and yes to be fair Eurylochus had more than just his share of experiences but yes he doesn't bear the same responsibility as Odysseus and he cannot fully comprehend the depth of his weight but still he does suffer that's for sure. Oh my the very least indeed! And man that's also true. Is one thing hearing the future and afraid and try to prevent it but the past he can do nothing about and the loss is still recent too and yes he knows the terrible things that happen next...

Aww thank you so much dear! 💓 that's indeed what I tried to portray here! And yes he also feels the injustice to what he had to suffer as a result but yes coming back to blaming himself as well and man it is a battle isn't it? But yes he also recognizes the trauma of his comrades because quite frankly he had been through it too.

Gosh thanks dear! That moment in the Odyssey was insane indeed so I wanted to do it justice so yeah man so many emotions of tension there because only Odysseus knew what was coming...no one else. Oh yeah that moment was insane indeed how the men were looking at charybdis but they had no idea!

Man right?! 😨 and man yeah he hoped till the last moment he wouldn't hear the sound of the beast waking but alas...and man for real Polites speaking of it just stabs him in the heart and yeah that was why I made him remember his own trauma; astyanax who died so violently and man yeah he tried even the last second to warn everyone to get down but yeah too late!

Aww that means a lot coming from a horror film fan dear! And as we discussed I imagined the mouths opening sideways instead but it was a momentary inspiration hehehe 😉 man the description in the Odyssey was just the most brutal stuff indeed! 😨 and man yeah imagine seeing or hearing that...

Man yeah the tension and silence you could cut it with a knife and of course Odysseus knew he had made the decision to sacrifice them for the sakes of the majority but man...judging by how he describes that moment when he tells his story I imagine indeed that it was something that scarred him but yeah I imagined Eurylochus being beyond himself at that moment and yeah I imagined he would be totally resentful and thanks 😊 you are so sweet! Indeed on one hand Odysseus hid it from them so they are furious but then again what could he say indeed? How could he say "6 of us are going to die"? Make them look around and hope it wouldn't be them to die?

Oh man who wouldn't indeed? Oh man you are so right! Now he feels as if his death is always close and that indeed pushes him to the "ill be damned if I die here" mode! Oh man it was the absolutely wrong thing to say wasn't it? But yup you got it! I WAS referencing to my other story "Guilt" in a way reflecting also the emotion of guilt he feels here and yes he puts the Visage of the harsh leader indeed because if he can no longer make his authority be heard he must indeed impose it to bring them all home so they will not be divided but yes it breaks him inside much more now that he lost them all! 😢

Awww right?! Breaking down completely 😭😭 and man yeah she feels like she achieved her purpose to make him resent them...and man so true it is indeed a parallel again isn't it? But man so true that is the difference indeed

Yeah I imagined she would bring it up at least one more time so I imagined that would be the first time and aww thanks! I mean Odysseus now literally KNOWS the horrors of the underworld! He has seen it! Which makes his decision to refuse Calypso even more admirable in my mind! Oh man right? He got his eyes back to his goal!

Hahahaha thanks 🤣👌 and man so true now he uses that very same eagerness he has to go back home against him! And yes I thought to add here the Agamemnon perspective too!

Yeah and yes it is it is freaking long especially indeed for duties of royals but man! Yeah she just says "literally no one waits so long" which as it was proven was not true and man so true again!

Man once again so right girl! ✅️ and man yeah that moment where she says not even he would wait is probably one of the first bells ringing in his brain how she will imply what she wants of him as well and yeah the special bed that is literally rooted in his homeland man that is too much to bear indeed but his mind is now haunted by doubt indeed! What Calypso said is perfectly logical...and yet it kills him! He doesn't want to accept it!

Oh man yeah his fighting spirit is back and even in the worst case scenario he is ready for his "just do it" attitude and that drives her crazy. Oh man true hahaha Assara material indeed! Oh boy! 😶

Yup and to be fair from a God perspective much more a helplessly in love one that is absolutely frustrating! Yeah I wanted to signify how she stopped using flirting or indirect ways and now she is ready for the next stage! How indeed she is ready to act according to her feelings in a demanding way.

Oh man once more on spot! He is alert awake and with his guard up but he still believes that if she helped him once she would again! 😢 and man so true now she is like a little girl that denies him stuff because indeed she doesn't want to "return the toy"

Man yeah I thought she would twist the laws of hospitality because indeed he didn't seek her hospitality originally but was washed out at her home beaten up and half-dead. She decided to help and now she holds it against him because indeed she knows he has nothing. And man yeah the guy didn't have even time to comprehend! And yeah now the true depth is seen before him! And now he can only panic because he knows he is trapped!

Oh man exactly like "you did it before so what's your problem now?" And man thinking of it is indeed so unfair and frustrating and even more tragically in theory he wouldn't be doing something out of the ordinary if he had lovers since it was frequent back then but for him who is in love with his wife man that strikes so deep!

Man for real bacause even in the Odyssey with him crying every day Calypso was like "aww you gods are jealous of our love!" Like...dude... ans Odysseus just suffers...

Man I should imagine he would indeed! Man! And the begging ritual is another sacred move how a person falls down and hugs the knees of the benefactor and the benefactor generally is not allowed to refuse anything. Odysseus did that with Circe among others. Even gods do it when Thetis begged Zeus to grant her son's wish among others. Man she reminds him of the hubris committed that brought him there and yes she uses the last thing he has; his faith against him! Hehehe bingo I used several phrases that nowadays are more associated with this musical hehe like "I'm just a man" or "monster" etc because I feel they would so fit for this context! I am a bit petty myself but man poor guy indeed! He is just mentally exhausted! And yes how many times he felt his own will or honor were disregarded!

Yeah I think that would strike deeper than anything! And now indeed he breaks completely feeling that trust is basically something nonexistent. He was distrustful before but now he just doesn't trust his own shadow anymore.

Yeah it is here! 😢 oh man thanks dear that was exactly what i wanted here! Their total contrast! She is in anticipation but he is practically dying there...he doesn't want to feel...

Yeah he doesn't even want to do it ans man for real but calypso doesn't allow him to breathe...and yes but now is infinitely worse because he feels it. And yeah he tries to avoid some parts but she won't let him and man yeah some acts of passion now became toxic and he tries to encourage himself to endure it 😭

Man for real! His own body reacting is probably the worst than anything and yeah he tries to stop himself from making any sound at all while yeah trying more and more to save himself from breaking

Oh man yeah or that indeed she js the best choice for him and all he needs is to see it while he is just dying inside...

Yeah in a way he had "consented" with Circe because he had to but here is just totally different and man yeah now the act that was supposed to be passionate and delightful is now distorted and the memories he made of her are being destroyed man I know right?! The pressure! I was inspired by that scene in the Tudors but yeah just twisted

Oh gosh for real! Finally is over but it is over means that his body again reacted to it and man I couldn't resist that phrase from her! She just refuses to acknowledge his pain.

Man exactly! And yeah Odysseus is just destroyed at that point! And man he held onto that hope till the last possible moment! Only go be crushed 😭😭😭 Nope she just doesn't listen. In her mind she is better option and for all she is concerned she is right and his family has moved on...and yeah she truly is sincere with it...and man such a great parallel! Oh man yeah mocking his honor which he feels he has just trampled is just too much...

Man I dunno why I just needed to add that there!and yeah seems so easy and yet so impossible! And man I just thought it would make sense! He tries to leave but he is prisoner now...no escape... yeah he is denied everything at this point...

Oh man it is isn't it? And exactly like ye is a disobedient child when he is literally in despair and yeah fearing for his home and family all day! And yeah the first out of countless times he cries in that beach and yeah he is just forgotten and abandoned there...no escape and no comfort! And remembering his mourning as well

Awww thank you so much dear! Yeah he lost them all...only Elpinor got a proper funeral for that matter... (hehe you know me i couldn't resist adding that hehe). Aww yeah thanks dear! Somehow I thought he would use just a sharp object he would find. Ans yes he can only form that tribute to them.

Yeah they just contrast each other ans man yeah imagine he comes in in that statw and she just thinks they will fix their rough start! Oh man you are so right 😭😭😭😭 it so fits here! For both of them! Oh man yeah the duty feeling just reached zenith!

Awww dear I am so happy you think so! And I hope I will do some tiny justice to those old stories! Man that music was so eerie I just had to use it! And aww I am so glad you think so! Poor guy!

Awww 🫂 you are so sweet but for real I wanted to show that! And man you are right! He is there already double the time and still not even close at finished! Man he absolutely is 😭😭😭 and man he is beiig abused constantly no wonder indeed! Gosh indeed she is no better than those monsters to him now! Yeah he is now feeling like shame plays no role in him anymore. He is just numb like a doll... man yeah many abusers accidentally cause injuries and apologize later but man indeed it doesn't change anything and they DO happen again as well! 😢 yup. Completely ignored.

Oh man in a way indeed 😢 and man like a pet indeed! Yes I wanted it to be yet another reason. Oh boy yeah at this point is no longer just a sweet desire it is something that eats him up day by day and exactly what he does to survive just doesn't seem to end anymore. Oh man for real! One can only imagine! Ans even just her behavior towards him makes him feel almost that "this is how it is with people" and that doubt is eating him up

Man and it makes sense that 15 years is enough to call anyone officially dead yet alone this! And man he surely lost so much...and so much more is to come! 😭😭😭 ans man I would assume it would! Poor guy just realizes more and more his fleeting youth. I bet he even fears he would die there of old age or longing...

Yeah....😢 yup exactly I wanted to connect that to Polyphemus as well as his experiences after as a beggar to Scheria and even his own palace in Ithaca. Oh man for real!

I know right?! The last thing he has, his faith is also now crumbling because he feels abandoned. And even unpleasant things like nightmares that at least were "his" are now taken from him and yeah him actually cursing Athena the goddess he adored most of all was just the switch to realize his own downfall! And trying desperately not to fall so much!

Man yeah he just wants to see this place burn! Ans aww exactly that's what I wanted to show! Man he is so ready for it! And yeah and he wasn't even the goodie guy to begin with but I wanted to show how he is now totally thirsting for blood and revenge...and yeah now he is like "I am screwed anyway. Just one more won't screw me worse!"

Oh man yeah it is totally a different league! 😭 man right?! That is so what I imagined on them! The absolute contrast! 💯

Yeah he just shuts down oh man "cold curtain close" girl you are a genius!

Oh gosh girl 🫂❤️✨️ you are so kind! 😍 and it is so sad that this is considered "controversal" since abuse is abuse no matter what the victim or the perpetrator but aww 😊✨️🫂 thanks you so much! Gosh 😭 it is always a delight to read your comments and reviews!

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️❤️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Survivor's Guilt and Survior's Duty (P3 + After Note)

Continuation from Part 2:

Swift fingers were moving constantly through golden thread, mixing the different shades perfectly. The hands were moving to and fro as the humming of the sweet song kept on interrupting the rhythmical sound of wood against wood as the tapestry was slowly gaining shape in the loom. It was the skillful fingers of an ancient being beautiful like spring and deadly like winter that was weaving this. Somewhere among the sea of gold and crimson there was a pair of threads that didn’t match in color or texture.

One jet black

And one silver white…

*

Odysseus slowly opened his bruised eyes and he wished he hadn’t. He barely opened them a tiny bit and he shut them closed once more as his sight was mercilessly attacked by the brightness of the white grotto. His stomach was turning and he felt like throwing up everything he ever had eaten in his life and his head was turning around as if someone was spinning him at a whirlpool. He moaned holding his head with both hands, slowly rolling to the side. The headache and dizziness were pounding him relentlessly.

“Gods…my head…” he thought hoping the nausea would leave him alone

The events of the night before were also present in his mind and the embarrassment didn’t help his condition at all. He had drunk himself to the point of oblivion that much he knew. Normally he should know his limitations but he was unable to refuse the goddess who was filling his cup. Once he dared to look around (and of course seeing everything moving around him) he spotted a goblet next to the bed containing a bubbling liquid. Odysseus eyed him more suspiciously than what he would originally have wished to.

“Well…that was awfully organized…” he thought again

Either way downing the drink seemed to help a lot with his unsettled stomach although not spectacularly with his dizziness. The first thing he noticed was that Calypso was not working in her usual spot. That’s odd, he thought, but then he fathomed she wouldn’t sit around and sleep or work by the side of a severely drunk human especially given the whatever the heck would turn out to look like the day after! He moaned once more as he forced himself, excruciatingly slowly to sit up on the bed and place his feet on the floor.

“Gods…never again…” he mumbled holding another gag back.

But it was true that Calypso’s potion was working wonders although he needed at least a couple of more minutes to stand up and start practically staggering until he reached a wall to support himself and walk out, possibly hoping some fresh air would do him good. As he walked down the grotto to his best abilities he surely was wondering how the hell he managed to get so drunk even with the goddess practically encouraging him. He should know better than that. Stopping at a sudden wave of dizziness he sighed and wiped some sweat off his face.

“Alright, Odysseus…no more wine for you…” he mumbled to himself, “…you clearly are not mature enough…”

Beneath his layers of self-sarcasm, though, he did feel like he had embarrassed himself before the goddess. Not only had he drunk himself to stupor; true it was Calypso the one to keep serving him but perhaps she didn’t know the human limitations to drinking. Perhaps she overestimated his tolerance or perhaps… (Odysseus always had one random ominous thought to the back of his head but he always chose to dismiss it, especially now that he needed all help he could get from some god given that he already had half the pantheon chasing after him!), but he also cried like a baby, opening up things he never wished to share in the first place, yet alone in front of an immortal goddess and her immortal nymph entourage. His situation was already bad enough; he was a beggar without anything to offer to the goddess; he didn’t need to be seen as an uncontrollable drunk as well. And this goddess somehow gave a different energy than Circe (and by gods wasn’t that experience scary enough).

He found Calypso lazily laying upon her sofa as her maids were attending the room. His heart was clenched by an unpleasant feeling once more but he dismissed it as his natural aversion towards the fear against the divine. Not to mention he was still feeling ashamed as he couldn’t be more. Calypso sensed his presence and smiled almost maternally at him.

“Good morning, Odysseus” her melodic voice reached his ears. “I am glad to see you up”

“That is a way to put it, goddess…” Odysseus mumbled as he was practically assisted by the maids to sit on the couch opposite her

His dizziness was still awful but he felt better already.

“My throat is dry…” he admitted, “Could I perhaps…have some water?”

Calypso smirked.

“Bring him some water” she ordered

As the cup was given to Odysseus he basically drained it, feeling the cool liquid settling down.

“Blessed you be, goddess…” he whispered again, “And thank you for your treatment. It worked wonders”

“I am glad” Calypso said with her usual feline smile. “I would hate to see you struggle with nausea”

Odysseus drew a deep breath to calm himself a bit. Calypso once more observed him and her heart was flattering. She discreetly tasted her lips imagining that chest moving up and down with his breathing. She looked upon that man that was now monopolizing her dreams and fantasies stand there in the light; his hair appearing almost auburn as sunlight was showering them. He was looking at her and if she hadn’t noticed his eyes shining with intelligence and wisdom she would have sworn he was a simpleton till he would start to speak. Odysseus was a man full of contradictions; darkness and light, quick wits and aloof thinking, braveness and fear…strength and weakness…

“Goddess…I…” he started, “In regards to the events of last night…forgive me I shouldn’t have broken down like this…”

Calypso congratulated herself deep inside for holding herself back.  She was right and indeed Odysseus could remember everything clearly from the night before. It would have ruined everything if she had advanced onto Odysseus while he was vulnerable.

“Why not?” Calypso asked airily. “I am glad you decided to open up with me. I am just sad you had to get drunk you let yourself go and trust me”

Odysseus winced at the reminder. Yeah, that was the last thing he needed to be reminded of… As if reading his thoughts, Calypso spoke again;

“Don’t worry too much, darling. I myself actually drank more than what I intended, last night,” the half-lie came easy to her lips, “You are a very pleasant company, Odysseus. One can forget himself when they are with you!”

“Me?” Odysseus asked in disbelief, “Hardly, goddess…hardly…”

He sighed, rubbing his nape nervously.

“I just...didn’t want to burden you with my troubles…”

“Odysseus…” Calypso said sincerely, “You are never a burden… I really want to help you… Not as a goddess, as a friend, I am glad you took some of that weight off your chest”

And then she took a bold step, more to herself than anything, and placed her hand on his. She felt him tense at the sudden contact while she felt his mortal flesh beneath her hand and she almost lost control of her emotions but her face was kept stone calm.

“Don’t you ever, ever apologize for your emotions, Odysseus,” she said sincerely, “It is what makes you mortals and us immortals similar…”

She felt him almost drawing his hand back or at least she felt his muscles signaling for him to do so, as he looked at her with those eyes that hid so much wisdom that indeed made her wonder what kind of mortal person has so much in their mind. She drew back and leaned on her couch again, casually.

“Oh, yes” she said, “Even us gods have feelings, Odysseus, our own torments. You may say that ours are sometimes more unbearable since we have to live with them for all eternity. We have no way of escaping them. One can see that from this very island too. This little paradise that is so left alone from the world…sometimes loneliness is so much to bear Odysseus…so much…”

Odysseus raised his brows. Suddenly the immortal nymph Calypso seemed almost…vulnerable. He saw her honey eyes reflect genuine pain and sorrow, sadness and isolation. He felt somehow stupefied for a second to react. How can someone consol a god?

“I…I understand, beautiful Calypso…” he whispered, “It is piercing the bones of any person to be isolated…”

“Yes, you do understand, don’t you?” Calypso eyed him, “You were a gift to me, Odysseus. It was the first time in hundreds of years that I felt someone actually connecting to this sorrow; the first time I felt someone truly understands loneliness as I do…”

Odysseus suddenly felt uncomfortable. He didn’t know where this conversation was heading to but it seemed like it was about to take a turn that he wouldn’t really wish it to. And apparently he was right for Calypso held his calloused hand in both of hers; caressing his fingers with her delicate, unnaturally smooth ones.

“Why don’t you stay here with me, Odysseus?” Calypso whispered

Her tone resembled a little girl talking to her first crush. It felt so unnatural to Odysseus that the goddess that nursed him back to health, the goddess that always kept a maternal visage now she was talking to him like he was an eternal god and she a young maiden trying to keep him with her.

“Stay…” Calypso repeated, “You understand how I feel and I understand you. You could live a happy life here; free from all the sorrows and this mortal coil. You wouldn’t need to worry about a thing here.”

As if that was not enough, Calypso raised a hand to touch his chin, making their eyes meet.

“I like you, Odysseus” she confessed naturally, “You interested me from the moment I saw you; your will to survive was unparalleled, however now I see how genuinely worthy you are.”

Odysseus felt his cheeks flush with color. It was rather flattering, he couldn’t lie, that this beautiful immortal being that could have any immortal god she wanted on her feet was now showing some interest in him in whatever way; him the man who was no longer young, who never considered himself the handsomest on earth in the first place, the man who was considered by many cunning, sly and without honor; now pique the interest of an immortal goddess. However…

“Your interest in me is beyond flattering, goddess…” he replied as he softly covered her hand still holding his with his own, discreetly drawing it away, “However I must refuse. I must go back…”

Calypso’s face again changed for one briefest second. It was as if someone had punched her in the gut. She slowly withdrew and sat back to her sofa.

“Go back…?” she echoed, “Why? What’s left for you out there, Odysseus? Poseidon wants your life and everyone you know might as well be thinking only of your harm. Mortal minds are so petty sometimes! Why would you want to go back to that world?”

“I have a kingdom I am responsible of” the king of Ithaca replied, “I have a family, friends that I have to return to.  I made a promise I would. I am a mortal too, goddess, I belong to that world”

“Friends!” Calypso said as if the word had no meaning, “Your friends were responsible for this adventure that almost cost your life!”

Reading the expression of shock to his face, Calypso elaborated.

“You do know, it was Eurylochus the one to persuade your men to eat the cows of Helios Hyperion, right? Not that the rest of your men had vastly different opinion, but it was him the one who betrayed you in the first place, the same way he betrayed you when he opened the sack of Aiolus!”

The Man of Many Torments felt his heart clench as all color left his face.

“What?” he croaked out

“Look in your cup” Calypso encouraged him, “and see the truth”

Odysseus looked down at the ceramic cup in his hand and gasped. Indeed the water surface of his cup had turned into a reflective mirror and now he could see as if he were there himself, the dreadful scene that preceded the slaughter of the sacred animals that led to his last ship to be gone forever and his men drown…

*

The men were tired; dark circles had formed under their eyes from sleeplessness and hunger and it had given them a rough look. They seemed like shadows of the men they used to be. Hunger, fatigue and sorrows had brought them on their knees. The sacred cows of Helios Hyperion were always grazing at the field next to the beach, filling their fat bellies with grass rich in salt and essential minerals. His hungry comrades were often looking at them, longer than it would be proper; way too long for comfort. Everyone was of course considering this source of nutrition ever since their rich provisions were gone. They were holding on the promise they had given to Odysseus and the fear for yet another god’s wrath but this time they were all at their limits. Eurylochus suddenly shot up from his sitting position on a rock.

“I’ve had enough of this!” he exclaimed suddenly

As all heads turned to face him at the same time.

“Hear me out, my friends, because I believe you shall agree with me that this cannot go on! We will starve to death if we wait here doing nothing! I don’t know about you, my friends but I refuse to die here of starvation!”

“Eurylochus!” Polites cried out, “What are you saying! You can’t be implying-…”

“All forms of death are terrible, Polites!” Eurylochus replied again, “We mortals are trained all our lives to fear death but death of hunger? Is there ever a worse form to die than that? We once conquered Troy and all its assets and we were praised by gods and humans and now we are in this godforsaken island and we die day by day on the beach like animals that lost their feeding grounds!”

“Eurylochus is right” Lycaon now spoke, “This can’t go on! And Odysseus is nowhere to be found!”

“He went to hunt” Polites replied again, “And pray for us!”

“Pray! Pray!” Eurylochus suddenly started screaming on top of his lungs, “He does nothing but pray! Have you seen any god favor us?! Have you seen anything good coming out of his prayers?! He calls himself pious and religious, he offers sacrifices! The problem started when the sacrifices became us!”

“Now now!” Alkimos now spoke, “That’s too much! Calm down!”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down Alkimos!” Eurylochus growled, “Odysseus will not do anything, once again! All he can do is pray and his prayers go on deaf ears! And that is all because of him! He only is killing us bit by bit!”

“Now listen you!” Polites had enough of this.

He was hungry too and starving but that was way too much.

“Don’t you dare to say that! Odysseus only tried to protect us all in various occasions! True he made many mistakes but-…”

He was stopped when Eurylochus grabbed upon his collar.

“YOU WEREN’T THERE, POLITES!” Eurylochus bellowed and his eyes already shining with primitive hunger were now beyond any form of madness one could express, “You weren’t there! That monster smashing the heads of our comrades! All we could do was watch as he indulged himself in their flesh! We were in that cave because of Odysseus in the first place! We could survive with the wild goats of the island! He just wanted something better! He always does! And WE pay the price! Never him! Never!”

“Now, now everyone calm down!” Amphidamas came between them to separate them, “If we kill each other now, the conversation will have no meaning in the first place!”

Eurylochus was forced to step back but he continued.

“I refuse to die here of hunger! My friends, let us satiate our hunger with these cows. We shall offer a sacrifice to the god Helios here and if we make it to Ithaca then we can build him a great temple, with our own hands. We can make a solemn oath here for that.”

“And if we don’t?” Polites glared at him

“If we don’t…well in that case I prefer to die from a wave and drown rather than die here like a beast from hunger!”

*

Odysseus watched the scene as if he were there.  He watched his comrades grabbing the cows, slaughtering them and offering their sacrifice. But they had no wine left so they used water to rinse the parts of the animals. They had no barley to use and they plucked the leaves of an oak… He watched them set their feast which was not even proper sacrifice to begin with and he knew very well what followed. He was there after that. He could see no more as his eyes filled with tears once more. Suddenly his hangover was forgotten. The pain in his heart was greater. The ceramic fell from his hands and shattered to the floor. Odysseus grabbed his head with both hands, leaning forward in lament.

“Oh, Eurylochus!” he whispered between his sobbing, “I know, my friend, I know I made mistakes…I know I wasn’t perfect but I didn’t deserve this! I didn’t-…deserve…”

His nails nearly broke the flesh of his face as he cried. Yes, there was no point keeping his mask of carefree man anymore. Calypso had already exposed the pain in his soul. He might as well indulge into it again! His men had suffered and died and he was left alone to fight the elements and the storms holding upon the remains of his ship with little to no hope left; alone in fear and in pain, in hunger and in thirst to the brief of death and madness… He felt the injustice in his flesh; he had sacrificed so much! He was always there when they needed him; he went to face gods, creatures, even descended to the Underworld for them and faced the horrors that expect the dead in the afterlife while he was still living himself. He had sold himself to a goddess hoping to get freedom for his men; he had stayed up 9 days to protect the sack of Aiolus to make sure it wouldn’t be opened and that they could get back home… He had been ready to face Skylla and Charybdis for them… Their accusations seemed so unjust in his ears and yet…the other part of himself admitted they were right; nothing would have happened if he hadn’t let his anger speak and brag on Polyphemus…no, nothing would have happened if they never entered his cave in the first place… Perhaps nothing would have happened if he never had that scheme to take Troy! Or what if he was never there! Oh, cursed Troy! Cursed war! But then again, Odysseus felt like he had himself to blame again for what happened…

“Cursed oath!” he thought in despair, “Why did I have to do that! Why did I have to suggest to the old man Tyndareus that we would all defend Helen? If it weren’t for that I would be in Ithaca! Raising my son and embracing my wife! My men would be alive in their houses and villages! Cursed oath! Damn the moment I invented it! Damned the moment I was born!”

He broke down. No, this was too much to bear! He wanted to save them and ended up losing them all! And he had suffered himself. He nearly lost his life… No, it shouldn’t be all his fault now should it? He had specifically told them not to open the sack…he had told them not to eat the animals belonging to a god… He had warned them! He couldn’t be the one to blame for those, right? He knew his comrades made their own mistakes but he could also understand them. They have been through much more than what any mortal was supposed to endure… But that type of mutiny? Why? Why so much hate…? He remembered though how much Eurylochus was affected during their trip. In particular the adventure of Skylla had left them all with scars…

*

The area was quiet; WAY too quiet for anyone’s liking! The men had watched nervously as Odysseus had stood to the fore-deck fully geared up in his armor and holding two spears. Why on earth would he want to be armed? Odysseus seemed ready to collapse in their eyes. He was constantly gazing to the rocks around as if he expected some unknown attack from the sky! As they entered a narrow path, Odysseus seemed to be very weary. As they passed from below a cave at a high mountain, from the other side a terrifying rumble drew their attention and a whirlpool was formed, sucking in the sea water. The men cried out in fear and despair and yet they could not take their eyes off that dreadful sight! And when he had hoped that would be the end of it, the cry was heard over the rumble.

“A baby?” one of the men asked

Odysseus winced. No, no…he thought. His hands clenched upon his arms. Suddenly he remembered Circe’s advice that he had forgotten; there was no point at him being armed; Skylla was immortal. He could do nothing to her even if he wanted. He could only pray that she wouldn’t wake up for her daily meal while they crossed but now that baby cry just shattered all his hopes and prayers. It was too late. He could only steer the ship close to Skylla’s side to avoid Charybdis and now…Skylla had decided it was her time to eat…

“Odysseus!” Polites called out as his face was pale and wet from sweat; one eye to the whirlpool and the other to Odysseus, “Odysseus, there is a baby up at the grotto!”

A baby up… For a moment Odysseus felt like it was Astyanax who was crying from the underworld…Astyanax had come to claim something of him as punishment for he took Troy leading to his death…

“Odysseus!” Polites urged again

Odysseus looked up at the cave and his eyes were liquid. He looked at Polites and his face could be the same as a wounded animal, facing the hound that was about to take his life; pleading for one last time… He was almost shaking.

“Forgive me, Polites…” he whispered, “GET DOWN!”

And he dropped to the deck, taking Polites with him and leading a few men do the same in panic (of those who weren’t still hypnotized by the terrible whirlpool at the other side). Everything happened too fast; Six necks longer than their entire ship probably twice as much, bearing terrible heads; a mixture between a woman’s head and a dragon with mouths open with sharp teeth. The heads rushed to the deck like deadly snakes and they grasped one man each who screeched in pain, drawing the attention of everyone on deck. They watched in horror.

“CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN!” the men who could still speak screamed, “ODYSSEUS!”

Odysseus was unable to take his eyes off this sight which was so similar to the cave of Polyphemus but this time seemed harder to grasp. At the beginning of the grotto Skylla began her feast by cutting off flesh and guts off the bodies of his men who were still alive and screaming from their adrenaline rush; nothing like when Polyphemus had smashed them to the ground, making sure they were dead first. Skylla had no such problem as her six heads were tearing apart what was left of his 6 best men on the ship. The men were wailing and screaming, calling his name. His men pale in horror; one or two of them doubled over and threw up on the deck. Odysseus nearly did both himself. The seconds passed like eons as the screaming finally silenced and the ship drew away from that terrible passage. They could still hear the moaning of Charybdis as she was throwing up the seawater again…

There was silence afterwards… His men hardly dared to breathe…not even the oars could be heard anymore as the ship was probably moving by the stream at that point as no one had the courage to move. Odysseus was frozen there like a statue… He didn’t even have the strength to drop on his knees. Forgive me, he thought, forgive me I had no choice… Polites was probably the first to come out of the trance as he croaked out in a barely audible voice;

“What…what the hell was that…?”he was as pale as a cloud, “Odysseus…? What the hell was that…?”

Odysseus turned his head to him, trying to find the words to answer but Eurylochus pounced at him like a furious tiger ready to eat his throat.

“YOU BASTARD!” he bellowed beyond himself, grabbing him by the front part of his armor, “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING?! YOU STOOD THERE DOING NOTHING! WE ALL DID! SPEAK UP!”

His head turned to the side. He couldn’t face him.

“I HEARD YOU SPEAK UP! IT WAS AS IF YOU KNEW WHAT WAS COMING! SPEAK UP ‘KING OF ITHACA’ AND ‘EQUAL TO GODS’! WHAT WAS THAT!?”

“That was Skylla…” Odysseus whispered, “…Daughter of Echidna and Typhoon… A creature that pries on dolphins and seals when she can…and waits for ships to pass her grotto…”

Eurylochus was hyperventilating; his face was red in fury.

“You knew!? YOU KNEW ALL ALONG AND SAID NOTHING!? YOU KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHEN-…”

“If I had picked Charybdis we would have died all!” Odysseus yelled back, “I had no choice I had to do this! There was no other way!”

“You kept your mouth shut! YOU SAID NOTHING AND LET OUR COMRADES BE SACRIFICED! YOU DIDN’T SAY A THING! WE HAD TO KNOW!”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!” now Odysseus bellowed, higher than anything Eurylochus did before

His men all silenced before his woeful and furious cry.

“What do you want me to say! That I hoped this monster would never come out? That I wanted us all to suffer as little as possible…that I could find no proper words to explain what was in store for them…that I hope I was them…?”

He was heroically holding his tears back. He was feeling his body turning into stone again under the layers of his armor that had been useless in this adventure.

If I show weakness I am lost…

“…That I am sorry…?”

If I show weakness I am lost…

Eurylochus had his eyes ticking in rage and fear. Odysseus could see the panic settling in him more and more like the waves at the sea. He was shivering all over.

“Sorry…?” he echoed, “You are sorry…?”

The way he grabbed him later, made others even wake up from their shocked state and arrive to their assistance to see which of the two would be hurt next!

“YOU ARE SORRY!?” Eurylochus bellowed, “IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANY OF US, ODYSSEUS! IT COULD HAVE BEEN-…”

He froze again as if the terrible realization hit him. He seemed ready to throw up himself. He let go of Odysseus and stepped back. Suddenly he was vulnerable and frightened.

“Oh my gods…” he mumbled, “We’re not going to survive this, are we? We are all gonna die in this journey! We’re all doomed!”

“No! No!” Odysseus shook his head, “No, this can’t end like this! We shall make it! We must make it! If we follow the instructions Circe gave us, we can make it. Trust me…”

Apparently that word was the worst he could use because Eurylchus gained his fighting spirit back and he was held by another comrade so he wouldn’t rush on him again.

“Trust you?! TRUST YOU, you say?! Six of our comrades are dead! And you said nothing! How can we trust you Odysseus!? HUH?!”

Odysseus lowered his eyes. He fixed the helmet on his head, as if he wanted to hide his gaze from them; from all the judgmental eyes and ears around him.

If I show weakness I am lost…

“I did what I thought it was right…” he said in a cold tone, “If I had chosen Charybdis we would all be dead now…”

He turned to leave but Eurylochus was not done releasing the anger inside him.

“Who else is to be sacrificed next then, Odysseus? Huh? Tell me, King of Ithaca, who is to be sacrificed next?”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“I did it to save us all!” Odysseus whispered dangerously, stepping closer to him, “I did it to save this vessel! Our last ship! Our last hope! If we lose it, we’re lost! I did what I had to do! We can survive this! But we must stick together!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“If you cannot trust me, then obey me!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“If I everything I ever done is not enough for you to have faith in me then you must remember that I am still your king!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“For as long as we have this vessel, I am still your captain! And we still have a chance!”

If I show weakness…

*

Odysseus moaned lowering his head almost between his knees as he remembered what had befallen between them. No wonder that it was Eurylochus the one to initiate that mutiny! However it still hurt every thread of his heart. It still led to the outmost destruction! He had roamed 10 days aimlessly in absolute terror in the elements with no hope; nearly losing his mind in the process…and his very life!

“Our last vessel…our last hope…” he whispered, “…It’s gone…gone! We… Gone… All of our hope was gone…! Why, Eurylochus! Why! Why!”

Calypso walked around his bench. She was as alluring as she seemed dangerous…like the sea that enclosed him. Her touch on his shoulder as she circled him, made him feel fear for the very first time he was with her. It was as if some cloud was lifted from his mind; a cloud he had no idea it existed.

“My poor, tormented darling…” Calypso whispered again, “These men rebelled against you…they disobeyed your orders and ignored your suggestions… Surely you are not the one to blame for their carelessness and arrogance….”

Her hands cupped his cheeks and made him look at her. She had kneeled before him and she wiped tears with her thumbs; tears he had no idea he had shed…

“You nearly lost your life out there, darling… Why must you torment yourself over them? Why must your heart always mourn? Forget about this…mortal coil. Stay here with me…stay and rest, finally, Odysseus… You shall not want of anything here… I could offer you the gift of immortality… Never shall you fear sickness or death again! Never shall you find yourself in the same pitiful state that you were when you first showed up at my doors! You shall be my equal! All you need to do is ask…”

Immortal! The word rang to Odysseus’s brain like a bell; immortality was the dream of every human being! And if immortality was linked, as she said, to no more of this heartache and torment… Oh, how desirable that was! And yet his mind rebelled to this. He remembered the Underworld; that dreadful place of wandering souls…he remembered Achilles who had told him he’d rather a thousand times be the last servant and alive than a god-king and dead… Why was his mind rebelling this when every mortal instinct he had was telling him to accept that? He held her wrists and softly removed them from his cheeks.

“Goddess…I immensely thank you for your proposal…there is indeed nothing sweeter echoing in the ears of a helpless mortal than immortality free of sorrows but… I cannot accept this… I must go back…”

Calypso seemed like she had been slapped as she looked at him.

“But…why!” she finally asked, “Why would you choose that? When you have been tormented so much and hurt so badly?”

“I must return to Ithaca!” Odysseus insisted, “My wife…my son are waiting for me there… And if I give up everything now, all we have been through with my companions will be in vain! I cannot just abandon them….”

Calypso stood up. Suddenly her face resembled indeed a statue; perfect and yet cold and emotionless.

“And are you sure, Odysseus, that your wife remained faithful to you? Are you sure she hasn’t betrayed you too?”

Odysseus moaned helplessly. That thought stabbed into his brain like a sword. For some reason Agamemnon’s words came to his mind that one can never trust their spouse, for he had been murdered by Clytemnystra and her lover. He shook his head. No, not Penelope! Penelope would never!

“No!” he exclaimed, “Not, Penelope! We chose each other! There is a special bond between us!”

“And yet, how do you know?” Calypso pressed, “You have been married almost two decades and yet you lived but a couple of years together. How can you know that your sweet Penelope holds your marriage the same as you do?”

“She does! I know she does! She promised she would wait! She promised me!”

“Darling! Listen to yourself! You have been away from home more than 12 years!” she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her beautiful head over his, “At best possible scenario she honored your marriage till they finally denounced you dead. Who can leave a throne vacant for so long?”

“No…” Odysseus whispered in denial, “No…no!”

“Just face the truth, my darling…you cannot deny it that over a decade people die… Your sweet Penelope might as well have found a new husband to rule your kingdom. No one can wait so long, my darling…” she whispered in his ear, “Not even you…”

Odysseus shivered. Her hot breath in his ear ringed weirdly in his soul. A natural feeling of repulse mixed with the sweet allure of her voice made him release himself from her embrace and stand up.

“I would! I would wait! I did! I still do!”

“And you are absolutely certain she would do the same? How can you be so sure that your sweet Penelope hasn’t found someone else to warm that empty wedding bed of hers?”

His bed? That bed he carved with his own two hands would be taken by someone else? That thought terrified him. No, he didn’t even want to think about it!

“Please goddess, stop! Say no more, I employ you!”

Suddenly he felt the need to defend himself against her accusations even if he had no real logical argument to repel them. It was as if his heart knew what his brain was repelling. His mother in the Underworld had told him that Penelope was enduring still and he held onto that for dear life. But, the other part of his brain was asking, how long has his mother been dead? If she met her end years ago then what guarantee did he have that Penelope hadn’t really remarried? He had none and he knew it, but he still wouldn’t want to accept such a scenario!

“But what if I am right?” Calypso insisted, “What if you are right and she endured but eventually she had to bend? What if your sweet Penelope has found a new husband?”

“Then…” the king of Ithaca whispered, “…that is one more reason for me to go back! To claim what is mine; my land, my kingdom, my palace…and my wife!”

Calypso frowned and lowered her head. She was astonished by his seer stubbornness and his refusal of seeing what he was truly refusing! She felt anger rising inside her. She adored him and she desired him. She had tried everything the past weeks to make him see it but apparently his mind was captured by his wife for an eternity and regardless of whether she managed to read his heart or not, Odysseus was once more distanced from her… She felt an anger she never felt before in her long life; was this the emotion humans named “envy”? Was she envious of a mere mortal woman? A woman that would eventually grow old and die? No, she refused to accept such weakness! And she wouldn’t lose to a mortal woman to the fight for the heart of this man she had come to adore to her bones!

*

Calypso was working her loom. She could feel the enchantment had faded; the sweet lithe that wanted to give to Odysseus so his pain would heal and he wouldn’t need to think so much of the things he would leave behind, had started to fade. It was as if, indeed, Odysseus’s mental and emotional strength were enough to make him indeed Equal to Gods… She banged her fist on the wood frustrated. She had seen his heart, she had saved his life, she had helped him and yet she still was so far away from him and all this time Odysseus had been resisting her incantation by seer will and emotion without even knowing it! No, she couldn’t let him leave, not before her questions were answered! What made him tick so much? What made his will to survive so strong that he managed to come out alive out of the greatest of hardships? Why was she so helplessly trapped in his charms when he was just a mortal man with no intention to seduce her in the first place? She sighed. She didn’t need to look behind her shoulder to realize it was Odysseus standing behind her.

“Calypso…” he whispered, “Great goddess of Ogygia…please…give me a vessel…give me a small ship to go back to my country… You nursed me back to health, you gave me valid answers to some of my questions… I can no longer stay here… Please, beautiful nymph I employ you…give me a ship to govern”

“There are no ships in Ogygia, Odysseus!” Calypso replied almost coldly, “No one ever comes or goes from here… Ships do not cross this sea…so full of danger”

“Then…please give me the tools to make one” Odysseus insisted, “Please, I have to go back, do you understand? I have been away from my wife and son so long! I want to embrace my precious Telemachus again! Tell him how sorry I am for missing all his life! Please be merciful, powerful nymph…please let me go…”

Calypso sighed. Her fist clenched.

“Fine…if that’s what you want to do…” she stood up to her full height and turned around

She was a tall woman; as tall as he was in total. Perhaps even a few centimeters taller. Her look was magnificent under the pale light of dusk. And yet her honey eyes shone in a dangerous way that Odysseus never saw before.

“But first, before you leave, I need something from you, Odysseus”

“Anything, goddess!” Odysseus replied almost immediately, “As long as it is within my power to give it to you”

“The gifts of Xenia, I gave you…” Calypso immediately replied; her eyes resembled now a predatory bird that had caught a mouse in her claws, “I took you in my house, I gave you my bed to sleep, I gave you my wine and bread to satiate your hunger and quench your thirst and clothes to wear. I believe you owe me some gifts of Xenia back.”

Odysseus’s heart sank in his chest.

“Goddess…” he began, “I have nothing to give you! I lost everything. If I had my vessel I would have given you all the treasures I got from Troy and every land I encountered in-between! I would give you the best wine and fabrics, jewelry and pearls from all ends of the world! The price would be too little for the good you did to me! But, alas, I have nothing. I am a ruined shipwrecked man! I have nothing to give you, to repay your hospitality!”

“Ah, Odysseus, Odysseus… There is something you can give me, something much more important than those soulless things. Wine…jewelry? Why would I need any of those? I already have plenty. However there is something you can give me, Odysseus, that nothing of those can buy…”

Odysseus eyed her curiously.

“What?” he genuinely asked, “What is it that I have that is so precious to you, good goddess?”

Calypso slowly walked to him. And then Odysseus froze because what she did next was something that totally took him aback. Her hand softly touched his cheek and then her lips landed upon his. Odysseus felt his eyes widen like a rabbit before the sight of a fox. No…no it couldn’t be! Calypso pulled back smiling seductively.

“Entertain me, Odysseus!” she whispered, “Give me what your wife enjoyed for a little while… Show me how mortals make love!”

Pale as a sheet, Odysseus took plenty of steps back.

“No…!” he whispered, “No, no! Please, I beg of you goddess!  I-I can’t give you what you ask!”

“Why not?” Calypso pressured, “You gave this to the divine daughter of Helios.”

Circe’s name came back to haunt him. Yes, Odysseus had shared a bed with Circe but then it was different! Hermes had told him not to refuse her and he had his men to protect. Right now he was alone. He had no one else to protect but his own skin and right now his decision would mean so much more than just an exchange and somehow he knew it!

“Please, spare me, good goddess!” Odysseus begged, “Ask for anything else, but not that, not that please!”

Penelope…Telemachus…

“It seems like offending gods has become a second nature to you, Odysseus!” Calypso retorted, “You make it sound like the worst thing that can happen to you is to bed me!”

Odysseus turned pale in terror. No, he definitely did not mean to offend her and yet what she asked of him…

“I’ll…I’ll do anything else, goddess. I shall delay my departure to make you a magnificent palace with my own hands if you wish…”

“Why would I need such thing, Odysseus? As you see I am missing nothing in my godly grotto. Why would I need a palace in my isle?”

“I…I shall build you a temple in Ithaca once I arrive!” Odysseus desperately tried again, “I shall make you the greatest goddess of all the Cephallinians, but please spare me!”

Calypso let out a light chuckle.

“The gifts of Xenia are not something given after 10 years, Odysseus!” she said as a matter of fact, “Not to mention that there is no guarantee that you will even make it back to your little island. The way Poseidon wishes your demise, I highly doubt you will make it beyond my bay! Nay, Odysseus. Besides why would I need worship? I live content on my island like that. I’d rather get what I wished for”

“Spare me!” Odysseus cried out, “Spare me, goddess, please! I’ll fall on my knees for you, beggar at your feet, but please don’t make me do this!”

He would have indeed dropped on his knees to hug hers, to make sure that she would not push him any further but she stopped him. She had come to know him.

“Please, Odysseus, no more, otherwise it will be much harder for me to keep refusing you!”

“Please, show mercy!”

“I have stated what I want from you and that’s it” Calypso replied relentless, “Are you going to trample the laws of Xenia as well? Wasn’t the taking of Troy enough when you fought at night using trickery? Wasn’t offending one god enough? Do you now wish to trample this sacred law dictated by Zeus as well?”

Odysseus froze in place; the law of Xenia…the law that he lived on all his life with. The law that he honored above all was now brought before him. He knew he had nothing to give her and he knew he could not offend her any further. He grabbed his head in desperation.

“If I want to see my wife and child…I have to appease her… Oh, Penelope! Forgive me! I am just a man; a weak, mortal man! I cannot fight with gods! I am tired! I can’t do this anymore!” he thought in despair, “My honor…trampled so many times! Gods, mercy! No more! Please no more!”

He knew everything had a price; he had learnt that the hard way! However seeing also Calypso; the kind nymph that took him in without asking anything before; the person he thought might be the exception, now bringing such a horrendous price for him to pay stroke him harder than anything. Suddenly his heart ached and then he felt like it broke. They are all the same, he thought, all gods and humans are the same! They all require a price and they ignore the distressful pleading!

*

Calypso’s chambers were dimly lit in moonlight only one or two torches lit the room. Calypso was casually leaning in her bed, observing him with an unreadable look; it was a mixture of lust, amusement, curiosity and wonder… Odysseus was shaking as he turned to the low table. He poured a cup of wine for himself and he downed it. Then he took another one. He breathed heavily. Gods let me go numb tonight…he thought, let me not feel this that I am about to do…. He could feel her eyes burning holes to the back of his nape, as if she was gaining strength from his distress. As if it as amusing to her. He turned around to see the nymph; so beautiful and so terrible, staring at him.

“Take off your clothes and join me, Odysseus…” she whispered seductively

Odysseus mechanically breathed in and out and then slowly opened his chiton, revealing his wide chest. He wished his mind wasn’t so frozen and yet so aware. For the first time in his life he wished to faint here and there; black out so he will not be conscious when it happens! Calypso shot up from the bed and grabbed the cloth, tearing it apart with one single move. Odysseus winced before her strength but even more he winced when her hands touched his chest, burning his flesh like fire as she felt the curly hair that adorned it. She felt every detail, every muscle, every scar… She shivered in delight finally feeling his flesh beneath her fingertips and the reactions that came with it… She felt every tremor, every jerk that strong mortal body was emitting! She sealed his lips with hers. Odysseus had kept his mouth as tightly closed as possible. Her lips burnt like coals…his soul hurt like being torn apart! Calypso softly pulled back and whispered against his lips;

“Like you mean it, Odysseus…like you mean it!”

Odysseus nearly broke down in tears as her lips sealed his again. He tried really hard to respond, feeling a jerk to his hair by her strong hand.

“I am Odysseus of Ithaca! Father to sweet Telemachus…son of Laërtes…There is nothing I can’t endure!”

The strokes came even lower. Odysseus prayed with all the power of his soul that his body wouldn’t react; that she would lose interest in him…however, as always, the gods were relentless. He felt his body responding to her caresses and her forcible seduction. He held back himself; no he wouldn’t moan! Be it pleasure or pain; he wouldn’t react! He wouldn’t give off the storm inside him!

“I am the Man of Many Turns…Goodly Odysseus! I am the Sacker of Cities! I am the spawn of Hermes…grandson of Autolycus! I shall not…I cannot be broken…!”

The touch nearly drove him insane in rage and confusion! He sighed as he nearly felt himself losing his footing.

“Endure my heart…please endure…! You have endured worse…!”

She led him on her bed…to which he was forced to lay and she threw her dress off her body revealing herself to him as pretty as she was terrible. As she climbed over him Odysseus wanted to shut his eyes closed, to hide those small tears that escaped his eyes and got lost in his curly hair.

“Oh, Athena! Oh, Pallas! Why! Why! Why! Please guide me to take this bitter cup upon my lips! Why are you silent, Athena? Why did you abandon me?”

As more kisses cascaded his body and he felt those arms almost pinning him on the bed, Odysseus remembered Circe… She had led him to her bed thinking she had his consent… Calypso knew she didn’t. She knew he couldn’t escape and yet it was as if she wanted to make sure! As she slowly raised herself to a position that was comfortable, Odysseus felt his heart break. The sudden rush made him almost lose his breath. He threw his head back in a silent scream. He wanted to close his eyes and yet he couldn’t avoid the terrible sight; he saw that face that was always calm and collected; maternal even now distorted in a mask of forceful bliss and a cascade of sighs and hums. That body that supported him before and helped him move about in the cave when he was weak was now moving over him making a series of sensations rush through his veins…those hands that so gently and so strongly supported him were now pinning him down; her left hand resting somewhere behind her back, close to the scar that adorned his leg and the other pressing upon his laryngeal prominence. He clenched his jaw till it hurt so he wouldn’t groan in distress; his body reacting to her treatment was much more terrifying even than the sight of hers on top of him.

“No more…please gods no more…”

And then it was over! He nearly fell back to the pillows breathing heavily like wounded. Calypso was breathing as well; only in delight. She didn’t seem half as tired as he was…

“On my word, Odysseus!” she panted softly, “You really ARE ‘Equal to gods’!”

He felt nauseous! He wanted to scream. He remained on the same position…not daring to look at her anymore as she kissed his cheek tenderly, hands tracing his body. Only one tear escaped his eye.

“Why…? WHY!”

*

Calypso was humming softly as she was arranging her hair. She had thrown a robe around her naked body, looking at her reflection at the bronze spectrum. Odysseus almost staggered in the room. He had thrown a new chiton over himself but he still felt the shame around him. He was breathing irregularly in rage and sadness.

“Now…” he panted, “Give me a vessel, goddess! Let me go home as you promised…!”

“Promise?” Calypso asked almost innocently, “I don’t recall promising such thing!”

Odysseus felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart.

“What?!” he croaked out, “But you said…”

“I said that you need to entertain me, Odysseus, to return me my gifts of Xenia but I did not promise I would immediately give you the means to make a vessel. And besides did you honestly think that one night is enough to buy your life’s worth?”

“I am ruined!” Odysseus cried out, “I am ashamed! I will probably never be able to face my wife and son again! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!” he finally yelled beyond his wits.

Calypso looked at him sincerely.

“I want you to love me, Odysseus!”

She stood up, taking advantage of his sudden shock.

“At first I was curious…I was not sure how mortals make love; this desperation that is linked to your temporary nature… Does it feel better for you that you know you are doomed? To us is just another pass time sometimes but to mortals it means so much more… But…”

She actually almost blushed! Odysseus though felt disgust and hatred.

“…But now, I am not sure if I can let you go! After feeling you…I just confirmed what I knew. You cured my loneliness…you filled an empty spot I never knew I had in my heart! I love you, Odysseus! And I want you to love me like I do…”

“Love?” Odysseus chocked in the word, “You call this love?!”

This was the only way the immortals knew to show love? Tormenting the mortals?

“I know I can win your heart, my love…” Calypso ignored him, “I know I can help you live here…with me…how to make you mine…and I shall be yours as your wife!”

“You will NEVER be my wife!”

“Oh but you are wrong, my dear. We united before gods and witnesses! You are my husband now, by the laws of gods!”

“Never! I have a wife! She waits for me! You are not my wife and you shall never be! I want to leave! You can’t hold me here!”

“You stayed one year with the witch Circe! Why acting so pious all of the sudden?”

For one moment the king of Ithaca saw only red. His hand grabbed her throat before he would realize it. Calypso was shocked only for one second but then a smirk crept to her lips.

“Like you mean it, Odysseus…” she whispered in a mocking manner, “…Like you mean it!”

Odysseus was shivering in anger. Oh, how easy it seemed if he could snap that neck that seemed so delicate! And yet he knew the truth; those bones beneath were not mortal bones and he would never manage to do anything to them and even if he did, she wouldn’t die…no, she wouldn’t die…! He let go of her running out of the room.

“You will never leave this place, you know…” Calypso’s casual voice stopped him in his tracks, “This island from the land till the currents around the sea respond to my will. Every single breeze and wave shall bring you back….”

Odysseus did not want to believe this! He ran out of the grotto. At the beach he knew he had no vessel but at that moment roaming the sea like he had come to this island didn’t seem as terrible as the fate that awaited him here. He threw a log in the water and tried to paddle away on it but, indeed the waves pushed him back on shore. He tried again with no avail. He desperately jumped into the sea to swim with all his might but the result was the same. Exhausted and exasperated Odysseus was once more pushed to the shores of Ogygia.

“No!” Odysseus yelled as he paced up and down like a wounded tiger in the cage.

In his anger he roared and threw a rock to the waves but that’s all he could do. He gave up. He sat down the sand, drawing his knees to his chest and remained silent under the stars…  In what seemed like eons, he heard Calypso’s light footsteps upon the sand and the pebbles.

“Odysseus…” she called for him, “Come inside, it is getting late”

“No thank you!” he replied in a low dangerous voice

“You shall need to eat something, my love, come back inside.”

“Your price is too high to pay!”

“Come inside, Odysseus” she repeated, “I will order for your meal to be prepared.”

“I’d rather die of hunger and cold!”

Calypso sighed. It was the type of sigh a disappointed mother would give to a child.

“As you wish” she said, “But remember you should know better not to cross with me that much, my darling. I love your spirit, I really do, however you should know better that I shall not ask twice…”

Odysseus turned to look at the waves so she wouldn’t see his jaw shiver…so she wouldn’t see the fear in his eyes. Yes, he knew. Achilles was just a mortal man and yet all he needed to do was to plead his goddess mother to bring misfortune upon all Achaeans…  He didn’t even dare to imagine what this immortal could do if she wanted. What if she ordered immortal nymphs of the oceans to drown his beautiful little kingdom? What stopped her from doing this…? Finally he heard her footsteps as she walked away. Odysseus was left alone…

*

As he was sitting there…his tears began to flow in the middle of the cold night. He buried his face in his folded arms.

“Gods! Is this, then, my fate…? Being the lapdog of a goddess every time she pleases? Shall this be the fate of Odysseus of Ithaca? Alas! Why! Why gods! I only made one mistake! I only…why! Why! Haven’t I graced you all with sacrifices and worship? Why did you abandon me? Over one mistake…?”

The smell of cooked meat came to his nostrils. His stomach growled in hunger. Once more he lamented himself and his mortal nature. He was hungry and Calypso knew that and she was using it to torment him. He clenched his head with his hands.

“Oh, alas! Is that what my men had to suffer out there…? Is this why their mortal bodies could take no more?”

He wondered why, how could he forget his lament over their loss for so long!

“That cursed witch and her spells!” he lamented, “Taking away this sorrow…putting my conscious to sleep!”

He remembered his promise…

“I have to survive…If I die here who is going to remember them? Who is going to know they were here? Who is going to tell their story? I am the only one left! I am the only one who can remember them…”

He heard the waves…his heart felt cold and heavy like the stones residing in the ocean. I don’t even have a tomb for them…he thought, I can’t even build them a funeral pyre… He felt his curly hair with his hand. His long hair was the crown on his head; thick and long; they had tangled a lot from the wind and the salt water while he traveled, almost forming natural locks. Ever since he arrived to Calypso’s isle it was always neatly combed and washed. His hand searched the beach and caught a sharp stone. He held his hair with one hand and then with the stone, slowly and methodically he cut it short as his nape… He held that hair in his hand before throwing it in the sea…the last funerary tribute that he could give them. He would survive. He would survive even if he meant to do anything for it! He would try to reach Ithaca! He would continue their legacy!

*

Calypso was sitting by the fire as her maids stirred the stew in the cauldron. She looked up and smiled. Odysseus was standing there. His face was like stone; his eyes bottomless and liquid. His hair that used to be thick and long now it was cut. His eyes were stained and burnt from tears. Calypso though smiled. She had confidence in herself that her spouse would learn to love her. It was only a matter of time and she had all the time in the world.

“Odysseus!” she whispered, “I am so glad you decided to come…”

She extended her richly adorned hand towards him. That hand that had given him life now it seemed ready to severe it.

“Come…” she urged softly, “Come to sit by the fire to get warm…we have dinner almost ready…”

One last tear ran down his cheek. Yes, he would survive no matter the cost; even if that would be his sanity and honor! The gods were silent to his prayers. He was alone. He had to survive alone…

He spoke no words anymore…

He walked in the grotto…

~~~

Oh my gosh! What have I done indeed! TT_TT but yeah...I do not fully regret! I believe this wll be the 3rd and final part of Sirvor's Guilt/Duty and I hope you enjoyed the wild ride!

Calypso weaving was inspired by this amazing soundtrack from "The Perfume"

Calypso showing Odysseus the events that occured before he arrived was inspired by the Odyssey since Odysseus mentions in his narrative how he was filled in the details by Calypso

I just HAD to include the Skylla moment because it was one of the most brutal description in the Odyssey so one can see how much Odysseus was traumatized!

Now as for how Calypso knows the details well...gods are often depicted to know things even if they aren't there (even if at other times they don't!)

And my extra explanation as to why Odysseus could not go anywhere.

The After Note was inspired by the clip from nbc Dracula (particulary the expression of poor Odysseus so read at your own accord! xd)

~~~~~~~~~

(After note)

The night was silent as always on Ogygia. The silence could strangle you. Odysseus slowly lifted himself from the narrow bed. His expression was unreadable. It was as if the pain and sorrow had left a permanent dark scar to his face that would never allow anyone to see him smile again. His hair was tangled and his beard untidy almost just like the bed that seemed even messier. He looked to the side and his eyes darkened even further, if that would even be possible, as he gazed upon Calypso’s body. She was sleeping on her stomach, with her head towards the other direction, one of her beautiful legs drawn slightly towards her. Her dark hair adorned with gold, seashells and pearls were flowing all around her like second layer of jewels and yet to Odysseus they seemed like deadly tentacles; like the heads of the dreadful Skylla that consumed his comrades when it seemed like an eternity prior. Her soft breathing was barely heard and yet to Odysseus it was echoing in his brain driving him mad. He was choking. He needed fresh air! He slowly got out of the bed, feeling the light pain down his back. He walked out of the room, feeling the cold stone of the grotto under his bare feet. He didn’t care at all that he was absolutely naked at that moment; he didn’t bother to cover himself even if there was a possibility one of the nymphs of Calypso to be around. Odysseus felt there was no sense of shame in him anymore. He ignored the nudity of his body as well as a few small scratches and bruises upon it that were accidentally caused by some miscalculation on Calypso’s strength during some of their endless nights of her passion and intercourse. Calypso had apologized of course. But then again Odysseus had stopped caring. He had tried resisting her before but with no avail, as she was much stronger than what he was. He had even tried begging her; one night! Spare me at least one night! However long now, Odysseus had stopped caring. There was no fight in him anymore.

It had been two years already, the king of Ithaca had calculated; two years of torture and despair. His hair that he had cut as a tribute to his dead men had already started to grow longer. If it were in his hands he wouldn’t even bother to brush it anymore. He didn’t feel much like grooming himself or taking care of himself. He didn’t seem to see the point in it anymore and, besides, there more unattractive he appeared in her eyes, the better. If it weren’t for the nymphs who prepared him regularly for these nightly torments of his then Odysseus probably would have stopped doing anything. The longing for return was eating his guts like a worm eating the flesh of a rotten apple; he could almost feel it through his gut! However the hope for his return was getting slimmer and slimmer. And it wasn’t just his bitter nostos that was eating him up. It was also haste and doubt. Calypso had planted that seed of doubt before and now she kept watering it with every night of abuse that Odysseus had to suffer. He was closing in that island as long as he took to travel there. Ten years he was away to Troy, three years he was traveling, losing his men one by one and now two years of imprisonment. He was away from home 15 years. What if Calypso for once was right? What if Penelope out of seer coercion decided that he was long dead and had to marry again? What would happen to him then if that last piece of him was uprooted from him? Or, much worse, what would happen if… No, Odysseus thought, that scenario he didn’t want to accept! Not Penelope…Penelope was different! She would never cheat on his memory, right? She had promised to him she would wait for his return…

“And how long is she supposed to wait for you?” there was a voice in the back of his head, “You left her wait 15 years…who would wait that long?”

Who indeed? Who would remain faithful to a man who disappeared for so long? Odysseus shivered. He didn’t even want to think about it, despite the doubt biting his heart like a snake. He remembered Agamemnon, whom he had met in the bitter ends of the Underworld. He told him to beware for his wife murdered him upon his return…with her lover.

“No! Not, Penelope! Penelope would never…”

This thought he had made so many times while residing at the beach crying or even within the arms of Calypso at night. These thoughts constantly twirling in his mind. Penelope was a kind woman when he met her. A nice soft bride. However as Calypso had said; they were married almost 20 years and yet he had known her for around a handful. What if she wasn’t who he thought she was? What if she was coerced to change? And his sweet Telemachus…his son would be now 15 years of age; around the age he was when he got his infamous scar by the boar at Parnassus. His son would be practically a man now; independent and strong. He had missed a quarter of his life; his son probably feared his father would be dead. He felt like every single day he spent on that island would be a tick to the clock against him; Penelope marrying again and Telemachus never knowing his father or hearing his voice… This was way too much to bear… His whole life moving on without him was way too much to endure. His pain was eating him up. His hair had started to grow gray. He knew his own youth was long gone however the silver edges to his temples shouldn’t normally appear so fast. His father never grew white. Even when he left for war he had his black hair almost intact and barely started to grow gray. However Odysseus felt like his own features had changed over the years. He saw himself at a polished bronze mirror once and he was surprised. He could hardly recognize the prematurely aged man inside the copper surface. Calypso didn’t seem bothered though. She even seemed to enjoy this change that his torment had brought about him; perhaps she was charmed by his mortal nature; this nature that showed how helpless existence was, that no matter what one did, their time on this earth would be counted for anyways.

Eventually he reached the entrance of the wide, white cave. He was greeted by the sounds of the night and the cold night breeze. Odysseus, though, didn’t shiver nor did he feel it. It was as if his body had turned into marble; his heart into stone. It didn’t matter if in the mornings he was seeking sanctuary to the solitude of the sandy beach and there he would bawl his eyes out almost all day; having nothing else to do but gaze at the waves and cry. In the night Odysseus was a cold statue; as if he had no more tears to shed. As he stood there, listening to the song of the crickets and the waves to the far beyond he felt weak…he felt helpless…he felt like nobody…Oh, how many times had he wished he could get in her room and kill her! How many times he wished he could snap her neck, smother her with a pillow or open that delicate throat with his sword! But he knew it would be impossible. He looked up and noticed a night bird flying to the sky. His furious eyes became liquid and his fists clenched painfully.

“If only you never existed…!” he thought bitterly, “If only you gods never existed! Then us mortals could live our life in peace!”

He was always faithful to the gods. Many people had said he was the best when it came to sacrifices and respect. But now it all seemed pointless in the cover of this dreadful night and all the nights before. Odysseus had come to fear the night and its creatures and feeling disgust by them and he came to hate the day because it only held solitude and sadness. He didn’t even get his usual nightmares as he often got when he slept for the past years; it was as if he was completely hollow. There was hardly anything left of him anymore. Not even his faith. He watched the night owl fly soundlessly in the moonlight and his heart was filled with anger and despair. Athena, why did you abandon me, he thought. Curse you too! How can you leave me like this! However as if he realized the severity of his own mind his eyes watered and a tear ran down his cheek.

“Gods, I am turning into a monster…” he thought, “If I lose my faith to the gods…then…then what’s left of me then…? Is there anything left of Odysseus of Ithaca, father to sweet Telemachus and son of Laërtes?”

He looked back at the grotto that had become his salvation and now his prison and torture. Oh, how he wished he turned that place into a second Troy! How he wished he had his trusty bow that he left to Ithaca, to shoot his arrows to all these creatures that tormented him and set this place in fire! If only he could! He visualized so many times driving arrows to the sensitive flesh of these women and leaving Calypso for last… He would enter her rooms dripping the dark blood of her companions; naked sword in hand so she could see; take a good look on what she did to him and then she would feel the kiss of the metal to her tender throat… He visualized her death so many times that he could almost taste it… Something in his mind snapped. He could almost feel like doing it. Eyes on fire and dripping hot tears he clenched his fists to the point of almost breaking the skin with his nails. He slowly marched to the room only to find her sleeping in the same position; totally unperturbed by his torment.

“Why am I the monster…?” he thought, “And she can sleep peacefully…? After everything she did to me…?”

As madness crept even more into his heart as his infamous temper was about to explode his hands were clenching in a painful grip but he refused to feel the pain. Maybe he could do it tonight. Maybe he could try… Perhaps she was a normal nymph after all; immortal but not indestructible! Maybe he could take his vengeance from this magnificent being that tormented him in the cover of the night, why not? He had done this before. One more sin to add to his miserable life; one more attempt! He could at least try. If it didn’t work, the worst case scenario would be that he would be liberated from this if her anger turned against him! Slowly and soundlessly like a lion in the night he crept on the bed over her. His onyx eyes were even darker than the night around him; yes, he could try! Slowly and carefully he crawled over her when…

An iron hand grabbed his throat, cutting his breath for one second.

Odysseus felt his heart skip a beat. He recognized that soft hand; it was smooth and sleek like silk but held the power of three men in that tiny touch. Suddenly all his previous resolve; his madness evaporated in thin air by the reminder of her strength. No, he had absolutely no chance of doing anything to her. She was no ordinary nymph. She was the daughter of the titan Atlas, the man who held the sky… That grip on his throat lasted for only one second because immediately after it turned into a tender touch to the sides of his neck, followed by a second hand that held him there; softly and yet demandingly. Calypso raised her body to meet his face with hers; her eyes glistering with love and passion.

“Odysseus…!” she whispered

Her voice was barely audible and yet Odysseus didn’t really feel like reacting anymore as those lips sealed his and kissed him deeply. Odysseus felt exhausted. It was as if all his previous anger had taken the life out of him. He knew he had no choice but to respond to her kiss. He had come to know her. He grasped her hair to the back of her head and pulled desperately; in a weak and pitiful attempt to hurt her back. It was his way of showing the weak resistance he could; he would often grab or pull her hair when she kissed him or grasp her in what would have been a bruising grip for any other grown mortal man but it didn’t work on Calypso and he knew it, if anything it was almost like confirmation to her that he was equally passionate, giving her the wrong impression. He knew it was doing nothing. It was just his last way to show his will. As Calypso wrapped her beautiful legs around his waist she pulled him down with her.

Odysseus felt his tears dry in his eyes.

He was once more a statue.

He chose not to feel…