#“ you did wut t' who now..???? ”

[justice-n-cowboyhats]

Hi clover I’m back from narrators lobotomy after manipulating a grieving father to make him a weapon to kill gods

[sopiao]

i’ve had writers block for the longest fuckn time and i just thought if an idea that i think is cute :3 (i wrote this with the 141 + könig)

So, imagine having glasses, and losing them during a mission or breaking them in your sleep. So, now you have to go throughout the day, week, month, however long it takes to get fixed with out them.

Constantly squinting and having a permanent confused face when you can’t see the board that Price is mapping out the plan for the next mission.

“What happened to yer glasses?” Soap leans a little to the side, still trying to look like he’s still paying attention, he’s been thinking whether Price is bald or not for the past 20 minutes.

“They broke” You shrug, acting like you don’t really need it that much, but right now you could be declared legally blind with how much your vision sucks right now.

“What— How?” Facing you now, not caring whether he looks like he cares about the briefing or not.

“I.. br-mmm” You mumble, too embarrassed to tell him how it broke.

“Huh?”

“I bro-mmmm, sleep”

“Wut?”

“I broke it in my sleep” Everyone gets up now that Price’s done. Mumbling quietly so no one else hears, although now you brought more attention to yourself with how Soap can barely contain his snickering.

“I can try to fix em for you” He follows you to your barracks where you pull them out of a drawer. Literally snapped in half, one lense has a crack across it, and one of the arms is broken off. It’s all in three pieces.

Soap is literally shaking, clenching his fist as he tries not to burst out laughing. Literally his vision goes as blurry as yours as he tries not to let any of his tears slip.

“H— H—How.. did this.. happen?” He gets cut off every time by his own wheezing, having to suck in to keep himself together. Looking at how broken your glasses are, it’s like you were twisting like an alligator in your sleep.

—

“What, the fuck, are you doing?” Ghost walks into your room to see you face down in a book, at first he through you passed out asleep until he saw you move your face across the page to see the next sentence.

“I don’t have my glasses” Seeing your 3 pieces of glasses by your desk, he has to take a deep breath to compose himself and shut the door to keep himself from laughing in front of you.

—

“WHAT THE FUCK” You yell, storming into the common room for the fifth time, more pissed this time as you stomp around, looking around, under, and in everything you can.

Huffing as you finally give up and sit on the couch next to Gaz and Soao who’s slouched on a bean bag. Seeing your obvious outburst, Gaz sets down his comic book on his lap.

“You okay, buddy?” He asked, laying his arm behind you on the edge of the couch. Trying to console you like a child.

“I lost my notebook again, I wasted an hour of my free time trying to look for it” You slink in further into the couch, arms crossed, blowing a piece of hair out of your face that still ends up landing on your nose.

“Oh..” Gaz said, looking between you and the very obvious bright red notebook on the table that’s literally right in front of you.

“I- I’m sure it’ll turn up” He shrugs, not knowing whether he should point it out or just let you figure it out.

“You think it’s just gonna show up out of the blue—“ You sit up, immediately cutting yourself off.

“WHAT THE—“ (hopefully y’all got the reference)

—

Ghost and Price both perk up and look at you when you knock and poke your head through the crack of the door.

“Have you guys seen König anywhere?” They both look at you, each other, then at König who’s literally right behind you. He’s holding a finger to his lips, to tell them to not tell you. They look back at each other then shake their head at you.

“Damn.. Thanks anyway” Standing in the hallway with your hands on you hips as you bite on your bottom lip.

He’s been following you for the last 15 minutes doing this. You asked Soap about him when you were in the kitchen, König was standing beside you. Following you around the base the entire time you searched for him.

Asking newer recruits where he was, they played along as well. Too intimidating by the man behind you to deny his request to keep quiet.

—

“Here. I fixed it for you” Price hands you a cloth which had your glasses wrapped in. It made your heart warm that he took time out of his work to fix it for you.

Unwrapping the white handkerchief. Your glasses are being held together by white medical tape. Surprisingly sturdy. Putting them on your face, you feel reborn now that you can actually see.

“These actually suck. But thank you” Smiling up at him, thankful that he actually did something to help. You started doing little favors for him for a couple weeks to try and repay him :3

[z-haven]

Did Ming try to prevent Joe from leaving because of Tong or Sol and why I'm leaning towards the latter.

I don't think the script would ever have dialogue that doesn't have a purpose to it. Especially concerning the scenarios in episode 4.

When Tong was taken off the project (and that's 100% his fault), he could've (not that he should've anyways), but he could've just told Ming that "Oh P'Wut is conspiring against me because they're showing Joe favouritism". Then Ming knocks Joe out and it's all point blank clear that this is all for Tong.

But Tong mentions Sol. Hold up. Why are you bringing Sol into this? Is it important that Tong mentions who Joe is going to co-star with? That doesn't seem relevant.

Okay well, it kinda is too, since we know how jealous Ming can get when Sol is mentioned in relation to Ming. But that's not why Tong did it.

Tong is just a natural sh*t-stirrer. Anything he can do to embellish the story and make himself seem like the victim, he's going to do it. But also, I have this other nagging feeling that he mentioned Sol with another purpose in mind.

Because Sol was there at the restaurant right when Tong and May met Ming and Joe there. Even if it didn't look like Tong could capitalize on the tension between those three, he was saving it up for later.

Or maybe I'm thinking too much into this. But still, I wouldn't put this past him.

Tong (the lying liar who lies): ... I think this is Wut's plan for sure. He wants to push his people to be famous. Before this he pushed Sol to get a supporting role. And now Joe, as a leading role. So they would be an imaginary pair.

Ming: Sol?

And there's that trigger word. It's either Tong knew that would set Ming off or at least for us to know that regardless of whether he knows or not, that would sour Ming's mood even more.

As to Ming's feelings about Tong, I'm not saying they're automatically erased, however I think because Ming has known Tong for longer and ultimately trusts him that he wouldn't think there would be anything deceitful behind his words.

Tong might be thinking - maybe if I show Ming how much people are ganging up against me, he'll immediately do what I ask.

Meanwhile Ming is like: F*cking Sol!

[writingforfishes]

(context:

*sees silly pictures of a lil bird on my dash*

braincell one: aw

braincell two: that face radiates otto energy

braincell one: wut)

atty doesn't seem the type to willingly go into nature (and, like, same) but like. silly birds. literary inspiration. etc

ottocus birdwatching just feels right for some reason. whether this is the most random concept or another accidental prediction. thought i should let u know. like as the seasons are changing and migration patterns are patterning, atty takes notice & after using birds n leaves n shi as a muse they drag their husband out to look at how pretty the scenery is. obligatory otto hiccuping n scaring the birds away lol

-🪱

Ask circa September 16.

Little ficlet (aka "hiclet")

A month after Atticus moved in, they were watching a bird nature film and got a sudden burst of inspiration.

"Hey, are there any good places for birdwatching around here that you know of?" they asked loudly to catch the ear of their partner who was hunched over a watch, eye loupe pulled down over one lens of his reading glasses.

"Uh..." Otto uttered, head poking up with a faraway look on his face while thinking. "I think there's a look out on a hiking trail that's fairly close by. Why?"

"You wanna go hiking? I want to see some birds," Atticus said matter-of-factly.

Otto considered it and shrugged, "Sure! I can dig out my grandma's picnic basket. Maybe we can have lunch there, too?"

"Cool," Atticus said. "Also...which grandma?"

"Oh, dad's side," Otto said with a meaningful nod.

"Yeah, that makes sense," Atticus said.

The maternal side of Otto's family were uptight prudes who wouldn't be caught dead on a patch of grass that wasn't imported and trimmed on a golf course.

Otto's dad's family, on the other hand, was from "the old country". Germany. At least part of them. That's where the whole clock thing came from. That was an abbreviated version of what Otto had told Atticus, at least.

The next day Otto, Atticus, a picnic basket full of vintage cutlery and food, and a backpack full of whatever Atty thought one would need on a hike made their way up the winding trail to the look out that promised a view of birds.

Atticus had hiked a few times. They enjoyed it for the most part. Despite their natural inclination to be inside and sedentary while writing, they did have a soft spot for brief jaunts in nature.

Otto had been a pretty physical person his entire life. It was only in the last few years that he'd settled down with his sobriety and settling into his profession of clock repair more.

But neither one of them were quite prepared for the "hard" rated trail that wound up and through the wooded mountain side over tree roots and rocks.

"Why...is this...so hard?!" Atticus exclaimed as they shifted the backpack of water, bug spray, first aid equipment, and medicines on their back. They panted a little as they stretched their legs to hoist over yet another upwards path of tree branches cut around to serve as natural stairsteps.

"I dunno," Otto said with a sniff. He realized now that he should've taken allergy medication before they started. He'd been sniffing for the last few miles, and he could feel the itchiness in his throat and eyes. He rubbed his nose aggressively with the back of his wrist.

"Do you want me to take the backpack for a little bit?" he asked.

"No!" Atticus said stubbornly. "I got this. I'm good. Just a little further. Point five miles. That's what the last little...little wooden sign said...right?"

"Yeah..." Otto said and then coughed a little. "Hey...what meds did you bring again?"

"Pretty much everything in the cabinet, why?"

"Did you get the...the Allegra and Flonase?" he asked, hopefully.

"Oh yeah. Totally did. Cause I'm awesome! The outside starting to try and murder you?" Atticus asked.

"Vehemently," he said and paused to grab a tree as he let loose three powerful sneezes into the crook of his arm.

Atticus watched as they wiped a sheen of oily sweat from their forehead.

"These birds better be the best birds ever," they lamented watching their boyfriend pull out a handkerchief and clear his sinuses into it before tucking it into his pants.

Otto laughed lightly, exhaustedly, in their direction.

If the birds weren't worth it, the clearing certainly was. It was more a field with picnic tables with the edge overlooking the mountain's edge than a traditional look out with a single location to stand and hope to see birds from.

Huffing and puffing the couple put their supplies down on one of the tables and sat heavily next to each other for a moment.

Atticus wordlessly slid the bottle of Allegra and spray bottle of Flonase over to Otto with the reusable water bottle they'd kept in the backpack. Otto took them gratefully.

When the clock maker started to spray the Flonase though Atticus grabbed his arm and pointed to a particularly pretty bird that had landed on the wooden rail beside them.

"Ooh look! It's a-a-a bird!" Atticus finished a little lamely. They suddenly realized that despite having watched an entire documentary about birds they had no idea how to identify the birds they were seeking out.

Otto sniffed the Flonase a little too powerfully and some ended up in his throat as he turned to look, suppressing coughs from the bitter fluid hitting the back of his throat.

His gift for the effort of looking was a...well it was a bird. And for all of the random facts, trivia, and history Otto had stashed in his noggin over the years he suddenly realized that, aside from a few clock specific birds (namely the Cuckoo), he possessed very little knowledge on taxonomy and identification of birds.

"Oh *koff* yeah it's *kuf kuf* pretty..." Otto said emitting more soft coughs as Atticus rubbed his back until, "HUP!-HUCK! Oh! HU'UCK!-HMK! Uh!"

The bird, which had been lingering for them to ogle a little while, flustered and took off at the sudden sounds.

Atticus would've been more flustered themselves if they hadn't already been treated by Otto's hiccups that morning. But they still felt the buzz of excitement at the loud interruptions and feelings of his body jolting next to them.

"Well, so much for the birds," Atticus teased as they widened their eyes at Otto pointedly.

Otto had his hand over his mouth in response, his body jumping with the barely muffled spasms, the bottom of his throat pulling in sharply as the hiccups kept volleying through him.

"I'm MMK'M! so-HMP!-sorry! I didn't HM'MMP!-didn't know I HMP!MK! waUHs gonna get HIMP! get them again to--today!" he said.

Atticus laughed giving him another rub to his back at his endearing apology.

"It's okay!" they assured him. "I'd rather have you and your diaphragm's loud opinions than birds any day!"

Otto gave his partner a soft smile, still muffling the hiccups as his body jerked dramatically every second or two. Hopefully they wouldn't last too long. However, he had started to be much more patient with them after learning of Atticus' reaction.

In the past, Otto felt anywhere from mildly annoyed with his hiccups to begrudging patience to apathy depending on the situation and how bad the case was. This new emotion, excitement and warmth, was something he'd never felt for the occasionally inconvenient bodily function he was prone to having. It was oddly comforting, in some ways, to know someone was not only patient with them but also appreciative of them.

Being this was before either of them had discovered a way to cure Otto's hiccups effectively, they both resolved to wait them out as Atticus started to unpack the basket.

"Shit, this thing is heavy! What...are these actual plates?" Atticus exclaimed as they slid the basket over from where Otto had put it.

They weren't able to keep their eyes off of Otto for long. They could see the side of his abdomen from beside them and feel the spasms if they leaned in a bit. The shirt he'd unbuttoned lower as they'd both continued to exert more energy in climbing showed his chest's movements in addition to the reflexive pooch that pushed out his stomach and expanded his ribs.

"Yeah the--they're part of HMP!HMK! the-HUP! the set!" he said and patted his chest a couple of times. "Ugh. HU'UCK! It was--It was very he-HIP!-heavy. Not exactly HM'MP! meant for h--hiking I don't think. HULMP'K!"

That last hiccup caught his throat, and he set off a chain of coughing and hiccuping, one right after the other, until he downed some water from his bottle to quell the coughing at least.

Atticus watched him in sympathy, hand becoming a constant present on his shoulder or back as the hiccups continued to jolt his body roughly even after the coughing fit.

"Those things are kinda owning your ass right now. You okay?" Atticus asked.

Otto nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, they HUCK! they'll go awa--y eventually. H'MUCK!-uh," he said rubbing his chest again. "You--you okay? HOCK! You're not HNK! not over sti-HUCK'NK! stimulated are UCK! are you?"

Atticus chuckled shyly ducking their head as they pushed their mustache up a little from their top lip in both preparation to eat as well as from nervousness.

"No, I--"

"CAAAW!"

"The fuck?!" Atticus exclaimed, that noise definitely not having come from Otto.

Otto startled as well and looked to the side of the table to see a large, black-feathered bird. In the sun the bird's inky black body sheened with purples, greens, and blues.

"HU'OCK!" Otto let slip in his shock.

"CAAAAAW!" said the bird.

Atticus and Otto exchanged wide-eyed looks to each other and back to the bird who was slowly stepping close, head bobbing with each step of its feet.

"What is HUUUCK! happening?" Otto asked, nervousness strengthening his hiccups a little.

"CAAAAW!!" the crow answered excitedly, its head turned a little to inspect the area and the source of the sound.

"I think you're communicating with it?" Atty hazarded a guess which seemed to be confirmed with the next double-hiccup from Otto followed by two caws from the crow.

The picnic became all the more amusing when Atty decided to throw the bird a little ham from one of the sandwiches. The crow gladly took it and within five minutes two more crows had arrived. All three of them chorused Otto when he hiccuped loudly.

The couple couldn't help but laugh. The distraction of the crows' antics was enough to keep Atticus' arousal from overwhelming them and also to ease Otto from feeling like he had to suppress his hiccups in order to not frighten away birds.

Much more ham was dispersed to the growing murder, a thought which still seemed wholly ridiculous despite it being an accurate word to define a collection of crows.

Atticus noticed and questioned why Otto had only eaten the inside of his sandwich, discarding the bread back into the basket.

"Bread makes the-NRK! them worse. They're already HUP!-uh, already kind of hu--URting a little! HOCK! HUCK!" he said.

His crow chorus echoed the hiccups discordantly. He chuckled.

"That is wi--ild!" he said, grinning around his bite of food.

Atticus looked out into the field which was now littered with the black birds.

"What're you gonna do with your new army?" Atticus asked with a grin as they popped a grape in their mouth.

"Well crows are pre-H'ULP! pretty good with tools. HMK! I think I cou--could teach them HMLK! how to wind cl-HUP'K! clocks!" he said.

"Well...I guess that would save you...time," Atticus said with a waggle of their eyebrows.

"Mmm. I see hmp!hmk! I see what you di-hip! did there!" Otto said waggling his finger at them.

"They finally calming down, now?" Atty asked, gesturing toward Otto.

"I thingk! so," he said. He splayed his hand chest and rode out another silent hiccup, chin tucking and shoulders jolting back. He sighed. "Didn't know Flo--Flonase could be s-hup! so dangerous."

"Never use while distracted, apparently," Atticus said.

Otto laughed silently with a shake of is head.

"Appare-hip!-ntly! Sorry about the hup! the other bird," Otto said.

"Are you kidding? This is so much better," Atticus said, grinning. "You, um, you want me to give you a chest and belly massage when we get home?"

The habit was still new, but Otto had warmed up to the physical touch and when they brought it up he smiled.

"Yeah that'd ngk---uh! That'd be nice, actual--ly!" he said.

Atty kissed him on the temple.

"Love you, Crow Mother," Atticus cooed.

This caused Otto and laugh out loud causing a "HUCK'A!" to echo out and a refrain of caws from his admirers.

"I'm glad you're here," he said, kissing Atticus' head in return as another hiccup shook him into their body.

"Me too," they replied and fed him a grape which he took with a smile as they leaned into his chest.

[aliceisathome]

Time for My Stand In - I'm ready with things nearby to grab depending on how traumatised/angry/sad I am. Currently we have a G&T, some chocolate, a punchable stuffie and some ice cream within reach. There's tequila in the kitchen if none of these work.

So here we are, new house and helper for mum to be paid for by spending a year doing whatever Ming demands, which is immediately sex of course. But Joe doesn't realise that Ming's concentrating on his back not because he's trying to replace Tong now, but because he's trying to replace Joe. Joe's a stand in for himself the poor sod.

It's interesting that Ming can't bring himself to have sex with New Joe though. It's guilt, yes, but also because he never really had sex with Old Joe - in his mind he was always having sex with Tong . In trying to get New Joe to stand in gor Old Joe, sex isn't going to work - what he misses and loved is , well, JOE. it's the companionship, the cooking together, sleeping together and just being together. It's the lights on when you get home and the smell of cooking. Does the spoilt, manipulated prince realise that yet? He might be getting a clue this episode though.

Also my brain hurts

I like Ming's green bedding. In fact I like all the green teal in his condo - the man's got good taste in furnishings if nothing else. Did he get them to redecorate his hotel room to match? Wouldn't surprise me - he's the sort of person who'd put that in his rider. I must go and see what @respectthepetty says about the colours in this.

So - Ming isn't going to realise that New Joe is Old Joe because he thinks OG Joe is still alive but he's suspicous. It could be that Ming won't let go of the fantasy that old Joe will come back to him until they find the body* Wut might guess soon though. And Sol, if Ming hasn't ripped his head off after he sees the music vid.**

OH they pretended that Tong did his own stunts for that first movie in all the press. OK, I get why Ming didn't put two and two together now.

Enter the bastard Tong. Man, he's a piece of work - jealous of Ming paying attention to another man (AGAIN) plus now he wants money from him as well. Don't do it Ming! Loved that he was too distracted by Tharn & Joe to listen properly. Still, I think he's beginning to see through Tong - especially when he won't acknowledge his culpability in Old Joe's death/disappearance. Loved his slightly weary dismissal of him as well.

Tharn - nope. Don't like him one little bit. He can join Tong in the Pit of Despair. They are both manipulative bastards.

All the flashbacks made me sad, especially the watch. And now I'm feeling sorry for Ming even though he's been a bastard and a fool because, well, he was twisted into that by Tong.

Gah - I can't wait for next Friday. The preview implies that the psychic might let Ming know that Joe's soul is in a new body but I think it's Sol's voice at the end. I don't think Ming knows enough to stake out Old Joe's parent's graves. This is why I try to save to binge watch.

Anyhow, the stuffie took some damage points whenever Tong or Tharn were on screen and the gin is gone. Could be worse, and I'm sure it will be at some point. This bloody show has me in its grip.

*I get it Ming, I hope his comatose body is being looked after and worshipped by jungle creatures and he'll get it back. Mainly because Poom's SO cute.

**for the love of the sweet baby jeebus if you're going to cast someone as a Kpop star at least get someone who can sing or use someone else's voice.

[mariamakeslemons]

Chapter 7 (Turned into a Frog and Crushed)

TW: pseudo-animal death

It's always fun to use tried and true magic tropes. Especially to kill a certain Austrian.

Gaz may or may not be sulking in the rec room right now, arms crossed and pout on his face. Soap, however, is absolutely taking the piss out of him.

“It’s okay,” the Scotsman coos mockingly, “Ye don’ need tae see yer love e’ery day.”

“Fuck off with that,” Gaz grouses, pouting harder at the wall. You told him about Ostara coming up and how busy the shop can get.

“I love you, but I need to focus on work before Ostara. Once we’ve passed it, I’ll take you out on a date. Wherever you want to go, I’ll go.” He didn’t necessarily want that promise, but the foot traffic in your shop was picking up already and you were obviously needed by the customers shopping. So, he accepted Price’s new hat (“His name is Price?!” “Yeah, what did you think it was?” “Captain.”) from you and left back to Base. So, here he is, maybe pouting, as he waits for something to happen.

“Wut’s your problem?” Ghost asks, leaning on the back of the sofa Gaz is currently laying on.

“He’s pou’in’ ‘cause he cannae see his bonnie witch,” Soap immediately rats out, yelping when Gaz flings a pillow at the Scots’ head. Ghost just watches as his boyfriend drops from the “attack”, humming while sipping from a water bottle.

“Why can’ you see ‘em?” Ghost asks, acting polite. Gaz immediately feels tomfoolery happening, looking up at Ghost warily.

“…They’re busy with the upcoming holiday,” Gaz eventually answers.

“Pussy,” Ghost immediately states, dodging the second pillow Gaz throws.

“Gaz, pick ‘em up,” Price sighs upon stepping into the room and seeing the pillows on the floor.

“Yes sir,” he groans, rolling off the couch and onto his feet. Picking up one, Gaz yelps and falls over when a sudden burst of smoke appeared beside him.

“Young Kyle, I need your assistance,” Prometheus declares, holding tightly onto a goliath bullfrog as a white cat lounges on his shoulders. The old man explains, “I fear we must act soon if Child is to recover their magic at all.”

“What do you mean?” Gaz asks weakly as Ghost, Price, and Soap all point guns at the old witch.

“Who are you?” Price growls, narrowing his eyes at the old witch. The white cat turns its head to look at Price, blinking once. Its eyes change from that of a feline to uncomfortably human.

“Do not speak to my beloved like that, Jonathan Price,” the cat hisses in the voice of an older man. Without looking, Prometheus taps the cat’s head.

“Merlin, please stop using Allan as a telephone,” he scolds as Gaz chokes. Price drops his gun, obviously thrown at the talking cat and the use of the name of the legendary Wizard. The cat huffs before blinking again, its eyes appearing like a normal cat’s once more. It settles back on his shoulder and watches as Prometheus turns and bows toward Price.

“I do apologize for my rudeness, but I need the help of my apprentice’s soulmate to break the Bond that has been placed on them,” he explains. Soap and Ghost lower their guns as well, looking between Gaz, Prometheus, and Price.

“There’s a way t’ do that!?” Gaz asks excitedly.

“Who are y’ talkin’ about?” Price asks with a frown. Gaz jumps and offers a sheepish grin while Prometheus blinks, as if just realizing the others are still in the room.

“My apologies again,” the old witch offers, “I go by the name of Prometheus, and I am the Child’s teacher. I believe you recently helped them with recovering a certain fool’s body from an extremely dangerous creature.” Gaz sees when everything clicks in his team’s head, as Ghost and Soap relax a little while Price leans forward.

“So, there’s a way to sever the Bond that König forced on them?” their captain asks, crossing his arms.

“Indeed,” Prometheus says, even as the frog in his hand starts croaking loudly, “It will be slightly difficult, however, it is possible with my help along with their cooperation.” He gives the frog a slight squeeze, causing the frog to let out an almost yelp noise, “And, as the bastard that Bound them is not a magician in any sense of the word, it won’t matter if he knows or not.”

“…Wait,” Ghost pauses, before looking purposefully at the bullfrog. Said frog goes very still, seeming to make eye contact with Ghost, before letting out a rapid, terrified series of croaks when Ghost grabs the thing.

“This him,” he states, waving around the obviously distressed frog.

“Of course it is,” Prometheus admits unapologetically, “He’s the bastard that has been stealing magic he can’t even use from my apprentice. Being turned into a frog is the least of his worries.”

“Wait, stealin’ magic?” Soap pipes in, “How’s ‘e able tae do tha’?” Prometheus waves his hand holding said frog, uncaring of the trauma he’s obviously putting König through.

“That is admittedly another thing I wish to ask your help with,” the old man says, “Humans should not be able to take magic, in its purest form, from any magician of any kind. It should convert into energy that the body uses, usually as an accelerate when healing. However, he is somehow pulling the magic from Child without changing it into something he can use.”

“Wut,” Ghost growls, storming over to grab the frog from the witch and lifting him even higher, “Wut did y’ fuckin’ do?”

“Easy, Ghost,” Price tries to soothe, although it’s obvious that he’s not really trying. Honestly, Gaz doesn’t want Ghost calmed, not with the other man’s reaction.

“Capt’n, there’s only a handful ‘f ways f’r magic t’ be stolen. All ‘f them are dangerous t’ the magician ‘n’ illegal in 97% ‘f th’ world. This fuck’s in part of th’ 97%,” Ghost growls, looking like he’s about to slam the frog onto the ground.

“Killin’ ‘m in’nit gonna do shite, Si,” Soap pipes in, “It’s pro’ly gonna get mor’ magic pulled from Gaz’s bonnie.” Ghost hesitates before lowering his hand with a growl. The Austrian takes advantage of the lower height, leaping out of Ghost’s hand to flee to some corner of the room. Prometheus watches with disdain as his familiar hops off his shoulder, stalking the frog around the room.

“Loath as I am to ask, especially with your reaction,” Prometheus begins, “I am curious. How do you know there are such ways?” Ghost freezes, before slowly turning to glare at the old man.

“Fucker tried t’ use me t’ summon a demon,” he growls, “Needed magic from somewhere.” Gaz flinches at that confession, while Prometheus purses his lips. The old witch bows deeply to Ghost.

“I find I must apologize once again,” the old man offers, “For causing you pain, I offer a favor at your disposal.” Ghost clicks his tongue and turns away, focusing more on Soap, who had come over to comfort Ghost. Turning away to offer the couple some privacy, Prometheus requests to Price and Gaz, “I will need to ask that Kyle do a few things, nothing that will injure him, but must be done to entice their magic to want to Bond with him over the frog’s.”

“What’s ‘e need to do?” Price asks, crossing his arms while Gaz glances over at Ghost and Soap worriedly. Luckily, it seems that Ghost is calming down, so Gaz turns back to listen to Prometheus.

“He needs to soak with a few herbs. Basil, catnip, jasmine, lavender, red clover and sweetpea, specifically. It will enhance the natural attraction between soulmates, despite how it will smell,” Prometheus explains as both Gaz and Price wince at the thought of how he’ll smell after soaking. He assures them, “He only needs to soak in those herbs for ten minutes through the week. After soaking, he can shower it off, but it must be ten minutes at least.”

“Got it,” Gaz agrees easily. Prometheus pulls out a bracelet with alternating red crystals hanging from the silver chain.

“You will have to wear this as well,” the old witch instructs, “These are rubies and red fire quartz. It will help the attraction amplify to catch their magic enough to easily shift the Bond to you.”

“What about the Bond they already have with the bastard?” Price asks before there is a loud squishing sound. Spinning around, Gaz sees Ghost staring down at his boot, a cold look in his eye while Soap looks done with his boyfriend.

“Did you just step on the idiot and squish him?” Price asks with a groan.

“…Maybe,” Ghost says, dodging the question without being insubordinate.

“‘E did,” Soap immediately throws him under the bus. Gaz can’t help but snort as Ghost turns and pulls Soap into a headlock. Prometheus sighs and pulls out a small 4 ounce mason jar.

“Do not worry,” the witch assures them, idly unscrewing the mason jar’s lid, “I prepared for this.” As soon as the lid is removed, there’s a sudden sucking noise that makes all of the task force tense. He returns the lid on top of the jar, and a tiny looking König appears in the jar.

“Is that his soul?” Gaz asks, taking a step forward to get a better look. The now-tiny man flips him off, basically confirming that it is König’s soul.

“Unfortunately,” Prometheus sighs, “However, this will allow me to revive him instead of forcing my poor apprentice to do it and give up more magic to this useless walking piss stream.” Gaz chokes at that description, hearing Soap cackle gleefully while Ghost snorts. Price clears his throat, obviously fighting back his own laughter, before turning to the old man.

“Is there anything else you need us to do?” he asks, crossing his arms.

“Just have Kyle soak and keep the bracelet on for a week,” Prometheus instructs, glaring down at the jar before giving it a rather hard shake. The Austrian was likely cursing up a storm in that tiny jar, flopping all over the place. Once sure the bastard was properly abused, Prometheus flicks his fingers at the smear. The frog body is remade, but left empty as the old man scoops the body up.

“I will visit in one weeks time,” he declares, “Do as I say, and we shall be able to break the Bond your enemy has forced upon Child.”

“Got it,” Gaz acknowledges, watching as the old witch nods back and vanishes from the rec room with another burst of smoke. The task force stand in silence, mulling over the strange experience, but feeling lighter. This personal mission is almost done, the light at the end of the tunnel is near.

Poor Private Roach comes in and leaps in shock at the sight of the four of them with cruel grins on their faces.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I like the sound and vibe of On the Street, and I respect and can appreciate J Cole’s writing, but I’m confused about why that was the message chosen for this collab. Army is bombarding comment sections by repeating that it’s a ‘see you later’ song because Hobi is enlisting, but other than the chorus, what about these lyrics conveys that message? Their verses feel like they belong to separate songs to me. I’m not trying to be disrespectful, facetious, condescending, or sarcastic here, I really am confused and would like to understand, and I would appreciate any insights you might be willing to share.

I did see one comment on YouTube that said: “I heard someone say they wanted a second verse from J Hope but then they realized he did give us a second verse… in his first language, dance. And he did it beautifully” and I think this is my favorite take so far. Thank you for your time (sorry if this ask is dumb).

*

Ask 2: Can you pls review On The Street BPP?

*

Ask 3: Oh Hobi T T... OH JUNG HOSEOK T T... Oh this song T T...,,, Ugh my heart! Our sunshine, thank you for this wonderful music, experience, and feelings. You got me to the finals. I hope you can watch after me today, too. lol I LOVE YOU JUNK HOSEOK. I hope you are happy. I hope your toughest struggle is something you can overcome. I hope your sweetest memories have people who truly love you to share with if you so wish. Hope the world to you J-HOPE!!!!

*

Ask 4: I don't want to be rude but "as the moon jumps over the cow"??? Wut?? Isn't J Cole supposed to be some good lyricist? I saw khh and kpop fans questioning this collab and this lyric in particular and I think they're right. BTS should stop giving khh a bad name because now people will hate kpop.

*

Ask 5: Hi BPP, a lot of people are offended over J.Cole’s verse on atheists being stupid for not believing in a higher people, which further proves to me that they take everything a person says to be something to be Personally offended over, not an honest expression of ones thoughts. And why I think a reason why so many arent listening to true hiphop, true rap, the same ones that the rap line no doubt listened to… It just symbolises to me that these same people are so used to the sanitized version of music that a lot of kpop produces too because jcole’s verse wasnt even that bad honestly… i don’t know, it just came across to me as the same reaction religious people will have when you tell them god doesn’t exist, and a lot of people wont take issue with that too. I know I don’t as someone who belives in a god same way I don’t care that jcole thinks atheists are stupid lool I don’t know im just seeing the hypocrisy and them being unable to let art be art, let music be music.

*

Ask 6: heyya bbp~!

first of all, congrats to our hobi for another great track!!! haven’t been able to stop looping it bcuz it’s that good!! not only is army loving it, i’ve also seen jcole fans saying good things too and some really checked out hobi’s discography and were impressed,,which is what i’d call a successful collab! out of curiosity i checked the khiphop reddit to read what theyre reactions are but no surprise they only praised jcole and wanted other khiphop artists to have done it instead of hobi hah! i’m surprised that they’re still as snooty towards k-idols turned rappers,,but at the same time snooty ppl be snooty lol. but i’m curious if korean khiphop fans are still turning away the rapline’s work? esp hobi since he’s really made an effort to flex his skills in jitb,,i only ever seen ifans’ opinions and they’re hardly the representative when it comes to khiphop hah!

ofc whatever they’re opinions are it doesn’t impact hobi and suga and rm’s work in the long run,,especially since they’ve earned enough respect from their idols to be able to work with them,,i’m just curious! thankss bpp!

***

These six asks more or less cover the range of questions I've been getting, so I've collated selected asks here to answer all at once. :)

Hi Anon(s),

I'll try to keep this short.

Overall and Abridged Review: On The Street for me is a solid 10/10.

The Lyrics (as I understand them)

Anon in Ask 1, first I’d like to refer you to Hobi’s interview in Variety where he talks about the song (linked here) and I’ve posted an excerpt screenshot below.

*

Personally, rather than On The Street having a “see you later” message (probably inferred from Hobi waving goodbye to a kid in the opening scene), I see it more as a song marking a pivotal moment in both Hobi and Cole’s careers, as Hobi reflects on the paths he has walked to this point even as he continues on this street called life, and J. Cole wonders out loud if it’s time for a change, to grow beyond his identity as a rapper. It only feels like a “see you later” song in the sense that it will be a companion song, for me personally, while Hobi serves and until he returns from enlistment. I agree with the interpretation in the YouTube comment that Hobi is also storytelling/writing his second verse through dance while J. Cole is rapping, and that this is a beautiful way to see it too - but I’ll expound more on this below in Dance and the Message.

Anon in Ask 4, J. Cole is a brilliant lyricist and it’s funny you mentioned that line in particular because when I first heard it I nearly burst out laughing at how witty and brilliant it is. That line is an example of a classic Jermaine pun. I’ll explain: A lot of people grew up learning nursery rhymes, and one of the more popular ones I recall is Hey Diddle Diddle, which has the rhyme “the cow jumped over the moon”. This nursery rhyme is also the source of the English expression to be “over the moon” I.e. excited, elated, happy. J. Cole took that children’s rhyme and flipped it on it’s head to then mean the passage of time, “as the moon jumps over the cow”. He uses it to express time passing merrily for him as he contemplates his next career move. It’s also an absolutely brilliant way to rhyme with the previous bar that ends in “Golden Corral” (which is easily one of the sickest burns in his verse).

Anon in Ask 5, I agree with you almost fully. Outrage is the name of the game and has been the zeitgeist for at least 5 years now. Like what are you doing on the internet in 2023 if you’re not here annoyed, mocking something, being critical, and raging about something else? Even if that something is another autonomous human being expressing their opinion on God on their own song… Personally, when I come across HCP personalities online, I ignore them. If they interact with me I tell them they’ll somehow find a way to manage and cope, and we’ll all be alright in the end. In the case of this song, ignore them. They'll deal.

*

Dance and the Message (as I understand it)

Hobi's verse in this song is only 8 bars. J-hope practically gifts this song to J. Cole who spits 32 solid bars on this track. We all know J. Cole - a veteran in the rap game who has earned respect from everyone from Hov, Ye, Kendrick, down to avantgarde heavyweights like Jay Electronica - is one of Hobi's idols and so it's heartwarming to see the way Hobi expresses his respect for J. Cole, dancing underground while J. Cole raps on top of a building with nothing but the sky above him.

J-Hope dances the entirety of J. Cole's verse, just feeling himself, losing himself to the music while his idol spits fire. It's so fucking decadent. At the end of J. Cole's verse, Hobi walks out of the subway and climbs to the top to meet J. Cole as equals.

Hobi begins the song in an NYC alley that opens up into a main street where Hobi performs the song's main choreography on. This is the same location in J. Cole's Simba - the song that starts the Simba trilogy in J. Cole's discography, which was the first main track on J. Cole's debut mixtape The Come Up that established him as a force to be reckoned with on the American rap scene at only 22 years old. The setting alone is a callback and homage to J. Cole's beginnings, on which Hobi raps about his own path, wanting to repay those who have helped formed him into what he is, and the hope he has going forward.

Hobi has done something like this before, calling his first mixtape Hope World reminiscent of J. Cole's debut studio album called Cole World.

*

The Media and the Message (as I understand it)

One thing I absolutely adore about BTS's songs and music videos, is that they infuse them with the sort of depth that only comes from intimately knowing and respecting the subject matter, and they do so in such a subtle way that it's obvious they expect whoever is watching to actually know both the artist and the subject. They don't spoon-feed anything to the viewer, just present the art as is and if you've done your homework, that means you're their target audience and you're right in the middle of it with them. In the Variety interview I linked above, J-hope references his documentary (Anon who sent me the ask to review it, I've only seen clips and I'm yet to watch the full thing. When I do, I'll write about it 💜), where it shows Hobi meeting J. Cole and how he struggles but ultimately communicates his adoration and respect to Jermaine, and how Jermaine graciously receives it.

Take for instance how Hobi approached Chicken Noodle Soup originally by Bianca a.k.a. Young B who at the time she made that song and its iconic choreo, was only 16 years old. The song went viral but most of the royalties went to her uncle and she received almost nothing, she never got signed to a label, and was so badly burned by the industry that she only attempted making music again nearly 10 years after Chicken Noodle Soup. Hobi credits that song as one of the catalysts that sparked his love for hip hop and street dance. He reached out to Bianca and paid full rights (not just for a sample), to her (not her uncle), to use the song, and the music video is peppered with references to Harlem, NYC, where the song and dance originated. Showing that level of courtesy to smaller Black artists is rare in the US and virtually unheard of in Korea where the Korean hiphop (KHH) community is more notorious for wearing Black drag and appropriating a history of violence and a wealth of culture that they know absolutely nothing about, except that it looks cool.

When k-pop stans wax lyrical about how BTS is racist or does a Blaccent (this personally makes me chuckle because the people you often see saying this are white people who couldn't tell you the difference between an affected accent by a non-native speaker and a Blaccent if each slapped them on either side of their face), or that BTS doesn't have the respect of the Korean (or American) hip hop scene, et cetera, I chuckle and move on. Because as I've said, none of these people actually know what they're talking about.

The OGs of the KHH scene recognized the talent of BTS's rapline since debut, and have only expressed more respect for BTS as the years have gone by. I'm talking Tablo, the rest of Epik High, Tiger JK, etc. The Jay Parks of the world took some time to catch up, and if 'studio picture-gate' is any indication, they too have quickly come around to recognizing where they fit in the landscape relative to BTS. Rappers are generally egotistical people. They usually spend their time rapping about how they're the shit. What earns you respect is if you can actually back that shit up. And once you have that respect, you don't feel threatened by another rapper because you know anyone who gets to the top has had to earn it. It's what informs the mindset of "real recognize real". Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok passed that hurdle, in my opinion, way back in 2016 with the release of Cypher Pt 4. Everything they've done since then is just jarra. And those at the very top, the Black rappers who imbibe the culture and history of rap music, have long recognized the rapline of BTS for what they are.

Personally, I love the song. The music, the whistling, the chord progression, the jazz and acoustic guitar instrumentation. Everything about it is perfect.

On The Street is an excellent example of what sets BTS apart from other idols and artists in Korea for me. This is a song conceived 100% in the mind of Jung Hoseok, and the seamlessness in execution, the maturity inherent in the respect paid to those whose music and culture they use as a medium, is present at every single point in the song. It's tastefully done, and 100% driven by the artist, and all I can do in the face of art like this, is respect it.

[pisoprano]

[Editor’s note: This post was written in January 2018, before the episode “Chat Blanc” aired. Around this time, Chat Blanc was still just an akuma form for Chat Noir that the fandom liked to play with—we didn’t know he’d be the cause of the end of the world in the show proper. Enjoy this peek into a simpler time.]

Fake Chat Blanc AU

Okay, you know how fans call akumatized!Adrien ‘Chat Blanc’?  Well, what if Adrien only pretends to be akumatized?

* It starts because his classmates somehow finds out that Chat Noir goes to their school.  They notice how Adrien is the only boy in the class who hasn’t been akumatized yet.

* Adrien, not wanting to be found out, decides he needs to get akumatized.

* First he tries all day to get super sad.  It doesn’t work, partially due to wielding a miraculous, partly because he’s too much of a natural sunshine child.

* By this time, the sun has already gone down and in the dark Adrien stumbles over some buckets of paint left in the street.  Remembering how akumas always have strange colors to them, he grabs a paint bucket and pours it on himself.

* At this point, Adrien also remembers that akumatized victims have special powers.  Since he has no special abilities on his own, he transforms into Chat Noir, then repaints himself to cover up his black costume.

* Adrien marches past the Dupain-Cheng bakery, being all “I am Chat Blanc!  Fear me!”

* Marinette (who was daydreaming on her balcony) looks down and sees a white Chat Noir.  She doesn’t realize he’s Adrien, she just thinks that Chat Noir got hit by an akumatized victim’s powers.  She transforms into Ladybug and swings off to see if she can find whoever zapped Chat Noir.

* Chat wonders what could be taking Ladybug so long.  He remembers that akumatized victims usually go after whoever made them upset in the first place and deduces that Ladybug must be trying to protect Gabriel Agreste before Chat Blanc goes after him.

* Chat arrives at the Agreste mansion.  He bursts open his father’s bedroom and cries out, “You are a terrible father and you are now my hostage!  Muahaha!”

* Gabriel groggily wakes up and looks at his supposedly akumatized son through squinted eyes.  Am I akumatizing people in my sleep now? he wonders.  

* By this point Ladybug shows up (finally) and realizes that she’d mistaken Adrien for Chat Noir.  She freezes up and screams a bit.

* Chat notices that Ladybug isn’t attacking him.  Fortunately, he has a way to buy time without being the one to attack first: he pulls out a bunch of glowsticks taped together in the shape of a purple butterfly and holds it in front of his face.  “Yes, Hawkmoth... I will capture the Miraculouses for you!”

* Gabriel: sry, wut?

* Ladybug, seeing the glowing butterfly on Chat, snaps out of it and becomes determined to save Adrien.

* Gabriel decides he’s too tired for all this and goes back to bed.

* Chat has a very difficult time holding back all the puns and flirting while pretending to lose.

* Ladybug breaks Chat’s fake akuma item and is confused when she can’t find the butterfly.  While she isn’t looking, Adrien transforms back into himself.

* Ladybug sees Adrien, who is still covered in paint.  He insists that he’s fine and not akumatized anymore and says he’ll go look for the butterfly over there, bye!

* Adrien quickly scrubs the paint off his hair and face and becomes Chat again.  He tells Ladybug, “Don’t worry about the akuma, I took care of it!”

* Ladybug: “You can purify akumas now?”

* Chat:  “.......Yes?”

* Ladybug: “That’s great!  Now I can sacrifice myself for you for once and you can still fix everything without me!”

* Chat: “Don’t do that!  Er...I just always like it when you use Miraculous Ladybug, my Lady?”

* Ladybug: “Uh, okay, if you’re sure, kitty.  See ya later!”

* The next day in class, Adrien brags, “Hey, did you hear?  I got akumatized!”

* Alya: “Yeah, sure.”

* Adrien: “I did!  I was Chat Blanc!”

* Alya: “If it wasn’t on the Ladyblog, it didn’t happen.”

* Adrien: “But you run the...never mind.”

* Since the whole fight happened while everyone else was asleep, no one believes that Adrien actually got akumatized (except Marinette, isn’t she such a good friend?)

* And hey, isn’t it odd how Marinette is the only person in class who’s never been akumatized?

[weebnotheree]

Oneshot - ✭¤ ᴀʟᴀꜱᴛᴏʀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ¤☆ Part 1

okay so this story is on my Wattpad acc if you want to reader it or anymore of my stories[00Anime_Weeb00]. i just thought of this, well..added somestuff to this thought. I really don't like like it that much bc its not good, is it good? I also have a another but its time for me to sleep so gn! ENJOY!

(Btw should i make it an actual story??? Go check out my wattpad acc) FIRST TIME POSTING MY STORIES ON TUMBLR SO I NEED TO GET USED TO IT!!

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¯'~ 𝙁𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙪𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧. 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ~'¯

Y/n. A lovely singer. She always sang, even if it was walking along the street or baking something. Especially with her love. Anthony. They'd always sing and dance together. They love each other's time together. They would spend hours..and I mean hours together. She knew about him being a serial killer, she was fine with it. She didn't care.

Her parents had died in a car crash. I know, the classic. But roll with it. Now step parents. And Y/n was only a child at the time they died. Anthony was the only one who conferred her besides her friends..but they moved away, so it was just him. 

------------

~ New Orleans, Louisiana ~

Doing his regular routine like he did everyday, Anthony and his lovely wife Y/n were walking along the sidewalk. Anthony finally let her go with him to watch him host on the radio. "I cant let you be happy. Ever"

[FlashB]

"I told you dear. I don't want you to come to the studio just yet"

"Oh, come on Anthony..just one time! One time is all I'm asking for. Please my love" she finally did it. She pulled the puppy dog face. He couldn't help but sigh. "Fine" The only woman who had his heart, and the one he couldn't say no to. 

[FBE]

"Hello dearly beloved people, Alastor here! And I want to introduce my lovely wife Y/n!" "Hello there!" she said cheerfully. "And I'm pleased to to see all of the requests I've been getting about you wanting me to sing again! And I would love to sing again for such a lovely audience! But I want my wife to sing with me! She has such a lovely voice!"after saying that he turned to you to see you blushing with your eyes wide. You became nervous. "Dont worry darling. Its okay"he reassured reaching a hand out to you...and you took it. (mind u, you are like kind of sitting in a chair slightly behind him but a the side, yk wut I mean?)

He sat you down in one of the chair beside him. You guys were getting ready to sing together. Now. Fast forward a little. 

He had passed first which, is what broke you. Its like your light went away. Never smiled again...u weren't..happy. You wanted him back. 

"Heh. I told you.. I'll never let you be happy" The same person said as he watched her in tears, crying her lungs out. "It was either him...or me"

Another timeskip. Now, you ended you dying too, If you wanna know, then ill make another part. But here..

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IK this wasnt good T^T

BUT i promise my other stories are good, just PLZ go see!! (>~<)

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros": Sussy Imposter

*after the bois visit to the Celtic/Gaelic Island that will become England*

Apollo: Oh it was magnificent! The lush country side-

Dionysus: the endless mead at the Celtic god's place, man was that great.

Apollo: oh and the Gaelic pantheon there was very hospitable.

Zeus: I am very pleased to hear you all had such a lovely time, Hermes you seem rather quiet is there anything you would like to share?

Hermes: .....father....

Zeus: ?

Hermes: How's does one become a "King of Gods" again? I mean does it go by human monarchial rules o-

Zeus: My dear boy, do you remember the last time we had this conversation?

Hermes: ...ugm ..no?

Zeus: hmmm well, the last we both had this conversation was that if you told me that if you ever asked the question of 'becoming king of the gods' again, to as you adamantly put it...."tie you to the nearest marble column and interrogate you"

Hermes: .....*makes a surprisingly slow paced run for it, for Hermes 's standards*

Zeus: seise him.

Apollo: what?

Zeus: DO IT

*after the world's most hilarious chase insuses in which I shall not elaborate on*

Hermes: What the hell?! What is the meaning of this?!

Apollo and Dionysus: *now both a little worried about this situation*

Zeus: Alright, talk.....who are you?

Apollo: Father, it's Hermes.

Dionysus: ugh...did Athena give you that "special medicine" again?

Zeus: WHATno. Hermes and I made an accord that if anything suspicious had ever happened to him, to treat the suspected accordingly until proven innocent. I'm not certain as to why he instructed me to go through this protocol but it seems that it's the appropriate time to do so.... because this is NOT Hermes...this .... person...is AN IMPOSTER.

Dionysus: *takes out the tiniest lyre and plays the Among us theme"

Hermes: *sitting quietly*

Apollo: ugh ok...that is the most insane thing you have ever uttered in your life....also isn't it "Innocent until proven guilty"?

Zeus: Nonsense dear boy how on earth would anything be done if that were the case?

Apollo: *the dawning moment of irony*

Dionysus: Come on dad, what's wrong with Hermes now?

Zeus: he never calls me "Father".

Dionysus: ah..but I mean, that's clearly him.

Hermes: Yes, it's me your dear and loyal and clearly beloved son Hermes whom has done everything for you. *Puppy dog eyes*

Zeus: *cold unloving stare*

Apollo: Father stop this madness and untie Hermes.

Hermes: *disheveled, dirty and covered in leaves, comes out of the corner* DON'T UNTIE THAT FUKN FAKE ASS LOON.

*everyone le gasps*

Zeus: Ah!...is really you Hermes?

Other Hermes: *chews through his restraints, leaps at Hermes and the both of them start beating each other up*

Apollo: GREAT HEAVENS!

Dionysus: If I wasn't 50% sober right now this would be a funny ass trip.

Apollo: Dionysus do something! I can't tell which one is which!

Dionysus: ugh....*getting confused* oh shit it's just like that coconut shell game.

Zeus: ENOUGH! *grabs the both of them and ties them up* Alright! Which one of you is my son, and which is the Imposter!?

*both Hermes start yelling and pointing at each other calling one and another imposter*

Dionysus: wait there's only one person who can help now....*points to a corner*

Ares: *tries to sneak away with a bag of chips* ..........what ever this bs is.....I didn't do it.

Zeus: Ah yes.... wait how is Ares going to help us?

Hermes: ARES! Please! It's me man come on!

Hermes: Ares I'm the real Hermes! Can't you tell? I'm the real Hermes.

Zeus: Ares! This is a matter of life and death, I'm going to have to strike one of them down and let the other live....which one i-

Ares: *points to the Hermes on the right* seriously guys, it's that one right there.

Zeus:....wut.

Apollo: Ares are you sure you don't want a little more time t-

Area: no seriously the other guy has fake ears

Zeus, Dionysus and Apollo: ⁉️

Ares: *walks up to the other Hermes and takes off his fake ears revealing elf ears* see fake ears.

Other Hermes: ....*let's out a scream since his ears were practically scrunched inside a small set of humanish ears*

Apollo: wut the?

Dionysus: *squints a little*....hey wait a minute I know him, that's Oberon.

Apollo, Ares and Hermes: WHO?

Zeus: Ah yes, Oberon, also known as the EXILED TITAN PRINCE OF THE FAIRIES.

Dionysus: yeah now I remember, we had a rager a couple of years ago and he turned all my guests into random items....banned him for life for killing the mood.

Oberon: *world's most thickest Scottish accent* AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR LOG HEADED DOLF.

Ares: hey I resent that. *Eats his chips*

Apollo: but wait how did Ares know he wasn't Hermes? In fa t I should have known better?!

Hermes: We're bros Apollo, just like how we are. *Fist bumps Ares*

Apollo and Dionysus: *a little jealous about the fact Ares can actually do that*

Zeus: ah yes, Oberon... wait until your mother Titania hears about this.

Oberon: HA! Like that tart would care about my mischief.

Hermes: ugh dad I just have a question, why does he LOOK like me.....am...I a fairy?

Zeus: *let's out the hardest and loudest laugh a god like Zeus can make* No my dear Hermes....your half nymph and half god....your far more than some woodland deity.

Oberon: And YOU! *Referring to Dionysus*

Dionysus: *sheepishly points to himself*

Oberon: If I catch your kin in my island again i-

Titania: *makes a dramatic entrance* And WHAT are you going to do my child?

Zeus: Ah hello my dear.

Titania: Zeus.

Oberon: *feels fear*

Titania: *struts to Oberon, pinches his ear and lifts him up* It is time for a VERY long time-out. My apologies my lord, I do not raise my children with such insolence.

Zeus: Oh no matter my Lady, I too have similar issues.

The bois: D:< hey

Zeus: silence.

Titania: So long, and fair well. *leaves as she drags Oberon by the ear like a dirty rag*

Oberon: I'LL HAVE MY REV-~ow!

Zeus: Hahahaha. Well. I am off to see your mother for a visit. *Leaves*

Apollo: ... wait....which one?

Ares, Apollo, Hermes and Dionysus: *now just wondering which 'mother' was Zeus referring to*

Hermes: ...can someone untie me

Ares: hold on not until I find out which mom dad was talking about.

Hermes: ....unting me technically can help.

Dionysus: well now that you said that, it sounds sussy.

Apollo: hmm yes. You must stay there for a little longer.

Hermes: seriously guys

[hesmushedfaceswithbabara]

Incoherent Quotes [Great Expectations Edition]

(because I am not over having to read that book still) -----------------------------------

Pip: I am in love with Estella Herbert: She hates you Pip: I love her Herbert: She HATES you, H A T E S!! Y O U!!! Pip: I LOVE her!! ---------------------------------- Miss Havisham: *cackles* MY PLAN IS WORKING TEEHEEHEE

----------------------------------------------------

Pip: Estella!!! I love you Estella: *visible confusion* Who are you?? Pip: OH HOW SHE LOVES ME BACK HERBERT!!! Herbert: .... Herbert: .... Herbert: remind me where your sister keeps her mop? Pip: ...

---------------------------------------------------

Estella: Oh your the stupid commoner boy!! Pip: .... Pip: .... Pip: JOE!!! I HATE YOU FOR BEING POOR!!! Joe: *cries in joe* What did I do NOW!!?!?!?!?!?

------------------------------------------------------

Pip: *wanders around a grave yard* Oh woe is me.... oh how lonely I am.... Joe: Pip!!! Hey Pip!!! Pip: Oh woe is me.... I have no one... no one cares.... Joe: .... Joe: ....

-----------------------------------------------------------

Herbert: Pip this is my wife Clara Pip: *silently judges* Clara: .... hi? Pip: *totally not jealous* Herbert: Pip??? Pip: Herbert who is this???? Herbert: ... my wife... I just-- I just said that-- Pip: UUUUUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuUuuuuuuuUUUuuUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH Herbert: AT LEAST SHE LOVES ME BACK Pip: *offended* TAKE THAT BACK Clara: .....

----------------------------------------------------------

Miss Havisham: *sets on fire* Pip:.... Pip:... Pip: wut ---------------------------------------- Convict: HEY KIDDO REMEMBER ME Pip: da fuq Convict: ITS YOUR OLD PAL FRoM the gRaVeYaRD Pip: Nuh uh Convict: I escaped auStRaIlIa fOr yOu Pip: naur Convict: I made you a gEnTilmAn Pip: NAURRRRRRRR *dies* -----------------------------------------

okay I'm done for now

[lucidapricity]

It's smart y/n time:

Reader: *sits down, boss CEO style*

Jungkook: hello beloved, wut did you want to speak to me about?

Reader: I have an essay in my head filled with analyses, and observations with a very interesting conclusion. We're about to do this L Lawliet style.

Jungkook: wait who-

Reader: Let me start by saying, no, I am not a heavenly being, nor am I a witch of some sort. But I think it's quite obvious that you are a demon. I'm a good ass observer. The signs are obvious too. You and your family members are demons. Everyone interesting I've met is a guy, that's #1

Jungkook: o_o

Reader: Number #2, you are all abnormally tall. Number #3, it is only when you and the others are around that I feel sick to my stomach. Number #4, Specifically after I met YOU, my clothes went missing and you act love sick around me. We call that yandere. Number #5, Yoongi refers to me as "mortal/human" suggesting that he isn't one himself. Number #6, I have dreams and the last dream I had, I recall 7 hands feeling up my body. I have met 6 of you, meaning I have one more to meet unfortunately. Number #7, before I met you, there was a stormy day where I heard 7 loud lightning strikes out of the blue. Highly abnormal; and again, the number 7 comes into play. Number #8, Jin, the one I most recently met, doesn't know the simplicities of cooking and when I say that, I mean he doesn't know much about HUMAN food. Number #9, Tae says he's from heaven, and he's right apparently. Number #10, Hobi just so happens to know who Jimin and Yoongi are. Number #11, I asked you where you have been for a year and you "didn't want to talk about it". Number #12, the first time I met you, you looked abnormally beautiful yet had on stray clothing.

Now if we just add everything up, that leads me to suspect you, Jungkook Jeon, are a fallen angel and have been deceiving me this entire time. Your family members included. It's over; you lost the game. I win.

Jungkook: I-how do I respond to this?

Yeah l u c i d a p r i c i t y, how exactly DOES he respond to this? 🤔

ok so first things first, they’re not demons, they’re fallen angels. though it seems like they are the hellish creatures, they aren’t due to various differences in the WotN universe that i implemented in. for the third observation, reader doesn’t really get nauseous around them bc of who they are (at least in their “mortal” forms), it’s mostly her having uneasy feelings and her nerves being all over the place.

if jungkook had to face this kind of energy from the reader, he’d have to create the most abstract lie/excuse ever. or he has to quickly enact the kidnapping at this point since she’s already figured what the whole deal is. that would definitely frustrate the fuck out of namjoon because at that point, he was not ready for her to know everything.

however since the reader isn’t that observant, some of their “quirks” fly over her head: she assumes that jin is just a terrible cook and has never cooked for himself, she’s partially convinced that yoongi remembers the past life he was in, she thinks that tae’s heaven line is just a stupid joke, etc. i think that’s just natural human behavior, reasoning out things that don’t make any kind of sense and process it in a way that helps us understand it so we can feel secure about it.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

483 of 2023

Okay so I've been doing this in two days and that's why some answers are inconsistent lol.

At the moment

How are you?

Fine, thanks. Just went to pick up my medication in the pharmacy and preparing myself to go to the work doctor.

Are you with anyone?

My husband's son is upstairs, my younger cat too, just my older cat is next to me.

Are you doing anything besides this survey?

Not at the moment, this survey is "in between".

What are you listening to?

There's TVin the background.

Are you talking to anyone?

No, I'm not. Just occasionally to my kitty.

What are you wearing?

Black wide leg pants and black Vildhjarta t-shirt.

Are you eating or drinking anything?

Not at the moment, I had breakfast already.

Is there anything going on in the room you’re in?

Yeah, my cat is purring.

How is the weather outside?

Cold and rainy. October, welcome.

What time is it?

10:14.

Lasts:

Who is the last person you talked to?

My husband, at the very morning.

What is the last food you ate?

Chocolate/cinnamon flavoured oatmeal.

What is the last text asleep?

Wut? I don't even understand what this question is about lol.

Where is the person you last hugged?

My husband, unless the cat counts. Then the cat.

When is the last time you cried?

Long time ago, in April lol.

What did you do for your last birthday?

Existed and got one year older.

Where is the last person you kissed?

He's at work. Maybe I'm gonna meet him there. Perks of working in the same company as your partner XD

Besides anything computer related, what is the last thing you touched?

My older cat's fur. That's why she's purring now.

When is the last time you changed clothes?

Just put on fresh ones today morning.

What was the last TV show you watched?

Allo Allo. Never fails to make me laugh.

What’s/Who’s your favorite:

Color?

Black and green.

TV show?

Allo Allo, Keeping Up Appearances, Mr Bean, That 70s Show, The Big Bang Theory, and this documentary Inside the World's Toughest Prisons.

Food?

Gentse waterzooi, nothing beats it.

Season?

Summer because long days.

Movie?

I don't watch movies.

Item of clothing?

All my hoodies and all my wide leg pants.

Band?

HRFTR, Katatonia, Vildhjarta, Tesseract, eriphery, and dome hip hop artists like Sadistik, Eminem, and the Dutch ones.

Place to be kissed?

Wherever. Does anyone actually care about it?

Friend?

My husband, Marc, Johan and Kenny. Also Jeanmarie and his wife Jasmine, and then Caroline.

Sibling?

My sister. By default because I don't have any other siblings XD

Listings:

List five green things in the room you’re in.

box of Pringles

highlighter

ACV pen

inhalation stick for when you catch cold

notebook calendar for the next year

List four best friends.

my husband

Marc

Johan

Kenny

List seven things you’ve done today.

went to work for the doctor's appointment.

went to the pharmacy to pick up my medication.

travelled to Sint-Niklaas.

did some groceries in their Polish shop.

went to the sea.

travelled by train.

travelled by bus.

List one place you’d like to visit.

Finland.

List three holidays you like.

Christmas

Easter

and nothing else.

List two favorite stores.

HEMA

Kruidvat

List one reason you and your ex broke up.

Long distance, he's been absent for months due to his job.

List four things you like about your appearance.

Can't think of any lol. Maybe that I'm tall.

List eight things you like about your best friend.

he's honest.

he's funny.

he's genuine.

he's generally a great person.

he's a very happy dad of two cute girls. :D

he's loyal.

he says what he thinks and he's not afraid of the consequences.

he's smart and helpful.

List two favorite colors.

Black and green.

Random questions

Would you care if a friend was friends with an enemy of yours?

I mean, hang out with whoever you want, but not when we're all together. The thing is, I don't have enemies.

What was the last book you read?

That book about a girl who runs away from her house to meet the family from her biological father's side, but ends up being disappointed.

Are you looking forward to going back to school?

I'm 33. Too old for school eh?

Was this one of your favorite summers? Why?

Nah, but it was one of the good ones. We visited our family and spent a nice week there.

Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do?

Yeah, visiting Finland.

Where is the person that means most to you right now?

Next to me in the living room, putting things online to sell.

How many best friends do you have?

Quite a few.

Do you have any cuts or bruises on your body right now?

Yeah, a lot. I always end up having bruises in random places because my veins are weak and break easily.

Are you holding back doing or saying anything?

Not anymore. Maybe going to France by train.

What time will you go to sleep tonight?

Early because I have to get up early. Strike in Brussels, you know.

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

ep 45: what the FUCK

ep 45

AM GOING TO KILL DONKAITO WITH MY BARE HANDS IDC

YEAH SEE??? LISTEN TO JIROU SOMETIMES!!!

please do not remind me that we were told violence besties would be a thing

you know, you'd think KAITO would be in the intro and not JIN, considering jin is in WAY FEWER EPISODES

CHANGERION CHANGERION CHANGERION

"wut??? you wanna come? wanna be my love rival again or somethin?"

5'5 of KICK ASS

shinichi is SO confused

DOWN HE GO

SAME HARUKA GOD COMMUNICATION IN THIS TEAM WHERE

this man is 33 and the eldest of the team

oh i do NOT trust this haiku!!!

jirou nodding in the background

the cranes weave stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no no no it's fine we don't need "tarou involved with the inoue love shape" nonsense

tarou: yeah no i don't think WE told you to be two women with two guys i think that's on YOU

woah a sokka AND a naruhodo

FJIDSOFJDSIAOFJDSOI OKAY CHILL LMAO????

w u t so the moon is REALLY a liar????

jirou: i dunno much but like damn that nonsense? pffft who cares. RUMI :D

i know in korean those letters can be switched sometimes

THE FRIDGE??? LIKE IN BUILD????

elevator, why did yuya tweet that fuckin tweet

sononi ready to defect right now fjsdaifjdsiofjsdaiofjios

SHUT UP.

love that sonoi is doing the wahahahaha thing tho fjsdiofjsdiofjsadio

they gotta let everyone out of cube prison? remember the cube prison???

i put my face in my hands for the ring of forgiveness man HWAT

they do want to be a stain on nouto history yeah

naruto runs away

JUST PUSH HIM IN WHY DON'T YOU

okay let's just throw in some random jetman team dynamics for no reason

uh oh tarou puppy eyes damn that'd be SO effective on me

why would thieves be lapel grabbing each other

CHANGERION MAN

she is SO HOT HI MA'AM I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT

1000% deserved

i too would fall over if she breathed on me

you guys gonna go ratatouille on this

"if i don't answer i can't lie"

oh right tsubasa doesn't know tarou isn't human does he

marvelous definitely wore a similar shirt as this one

tsubasa you like. don't need to go gai jetman it's okay

this is actually irritating me!!

you know what i'm glad the rest of the team didn't make tarou do this

is like tsubasa the kaori of this team what is this

TSUBASA IS PART OF THE TEAM AND THEN WHAT HAS TO BE GAI JETMAN ABOUT IT?? AFTER BEING SO HAPPY IN THE FAKE FAMILY EP???

jirou forest guardian guardian of the forest artemis quivers before him

you could have played nice but you're too busy being gai jetman instead of tsubasa donbros

hi river

playground convo

i can't be the only one who feels like this is wildly out of character for tsubasa right or maybe i just don't pay enough attention to him but like.........this feels wildly out of character

oh no broken tsuyoshi

MONSTER OF THE WEEK AGAIN FJSIOFJSDIOFJDSIAOI

"outsiders" .......yikes

u h o h

w h a t

just the two of them?

BEAT HIM UP!

omigod

please stop making them eat paper???

the violence besties: WELL FUCK!!!!!!!!!

okay what

OH HELLO KING SENTAI KING KINGER PLEASE HAVE A FUCKING COCKPIT BUT THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKELY

i do not trust that it has a cockpit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please have one tho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tsuyoshi to cube prison?

CUBE PRISON INDEED

1) don't trust that with miho/natsumi 2) SONOSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

DONBROS LIVEBLOG, AS COPY/PASTED FROM MY DISCORD

i did this like i was talking to my friend, so this is the "being friends with stickers' when she's watching something" experience

i think i'll put more thoughts in the tags, but don't count on it for every ep lmao

ep 1

21 years ago is 2001 sounds fake to me

wait i've seen this man--kao dake sensei

not even 20 seconds in and i get interrupted ;-;

moses, peach style (yes i know that's the story of mamotaro it's just that i'm jewish)

oh okay even the logo is rainbow for this one

dabbing in the year of our lord 2022

i have not seen miss silver girl anywhere ever who is that

five way back to back? oh this is going to be AWESOME

hello miss haruka i see TONS on you

fangire?

a kamen rider?

hello mr blue guy that gets shipped with the red

oi no nails on the chalkboard

a BOYFRIEND???

sorry mr boyfriend i do not remember you in zettai bl at all

she becomes a hero because of a spam ad nice

ATTACK OF THE KILLER SUNGLASSES

isn't this colorful??

hello kaito but i think without the adhd

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

gun!

cubes like zyuohger

okay mr red

bonds again? this IS zyuohger, go meet yamato

this guy is yamato 2.0

isn't that lily/the fourze teacher?

why translate mama as mommy what is the point of that

MORE CUBES AGAIN

i'm guessing this is the fourze school?

hell yeah ask and you shall receive

pfffffffffffffft thinking that mr blue man would be tarou

i like that this chooses when you're gonna fight

FJDSIOFJSIOFJDSIOAJOIA HE JUST KICKS HER OUT OF THE WAY

glasses and then glasses

mom i am watching donbrothers not thinking about how the trains and busses work in this damn country

pink dude

man cgi battles just annoy me like i am SURE i'll like this series but damn cgi battles are for the crossover movies and that's IT

FJDSIOFJSDIOFJDSIOAFJDSIOAFAIO I WANT DANCING LADIES TO ANNOUNCE MY PRESENCE AS I'M ON A MOTORCYCLE

"this one? no. no thanks"

kamen rider sentai

oh the first battle of these two let's go

reverse storm trooper aim

toei this is so much rainbow

man i have to remember zenkaiger gears? good thing i watched it

if you do a zenaki gattai and put "yo" imma "yo ho hoi"

kamen rider kick

is there no dancing song at the end AGAIN???

[xxmaddyxx]

okok hear me out, asahi x gn!reader thats rlly intimidating and has a bunch of piercings and tattoos and stuff, and when the rest of the team sees them theyre like "????how are these two compatible" SORRY IF IT SOUNDS STUPID

nonono, it's not that's so creative thank you!!! masterlist

Asahi x gn! reader with piercings and tattoos

your boyfriend invited you to a practice game with Nekoma

he wanted you to see him play, but he rlly wanted you to meet the team

you wore a t-shirt and shorts that showed off your tattoos and muscles (cuz if you got em show em off)

you also wanted to wear some new earrings and nose-rings Asahi gifted you

when you got there, Karasuno was warming up so you sat on the lowest seat on the stands

usually not too many people show up for practice games, so Tanaka and Noya looked at each other like who dis?

Suga notices Asahi's face light up, but he was too busy setting to look at why it did

"HEY!"

you jumped and looked around to see who said that

"HEY!"

you saw a boy with brown hair and a blonde tuff looking at you with his hands on his hips

"Who are you?" no filter

"Oh, um y/n l/n?"

he gave you a blank stare

"Wait, like the y/n l/n?"

you shrugged and he ran off to Tanaka and whispered something to him

his head swerved, "WHAT??"

"ASAHI!!" they yelled in unison

mans froze and turned to see Noya dragging you towards the bench

Nekoma was warming up, so the whole team was standing at the bench

"Care to introduce us?" Noya asked u literally intimidated almost everyone but noya was not afraid to drag your ass over there

"Oh!" his expression softened and he stood next to you

"This is my s/o, y/n l/n."

the whole team stood there like wut

how??

this lil ol wholesome man was dating someone who looked like they could kill you at any given moment?

"I'm dying to hear how this happened." Tsukishima said with his arms crossed

Hinata and Kageyama were just looking back and forth between the two of you dumbfounded

"Mutual friends." You spoke up

"ah," the whole team understood now

"Still how tf-" Tsukishima was interrupted by the blow of the whistle

"Good luck." You whispered to Asahi as you took a seat again

It was a very close match, and Karasuno managed to win

Every now and then, the setter on the other team would look at you, fearing for his life

jk

but fr he was a lil intimidated

afterwards, you went home with Asahi, saying bye to everyone

"Nice meeting you again!" Hinata said

You both waved

at his house, he sat on the couch with you

"I think it went well." you smiled

He pressed his lips to your head "I agree, I'm very lucky to have you."

[vrishchikawrites]

Are you still taking prompts?

Cause if so, I'd love to see a time travel fic where post-canon WWX and LWJ get yeeted back into their younger bodies, and land just before the GC transfer. And Post-Canon WWX - who's had some years of being a part of a loving, supportive family, in a non-toxic, non-abusive environment; and therefore no longer has any misconceptions about how much the Jiangs were not his family - takes one look at JC lying there on the table in the cave after WQ knocked him out (and is now in the middle of prepping for surgery); and just goes, "LOL, yeah; nope.😆 Been there, done that; 10/10, would not recommend.😝 Hey, WQ - change of plans!😎"

(Except, you know, not written like crack. 😉)

Not necessary to include, but a fun idea:

JC gets dragged along to the past as well because he has WWX's GC; so whatever sent them back mistook him for part of WWX and brought him along.

So when he wakes up from the anaesthesia, he freaks out about not having a GC anymore. And WWX has this whole story ready to tell young JC about how, "Oops, sorry; you can't have a new GC after all" - but this is Post-Canon JC; so he knows about the transfer, and knows that this means that WWX decided not to do it again.

Which means he ends up screaming at WWX about, "How dare you not give me your GC!"

So WWX feels exactly zero sympathy.

(Before that happened he was maybe feeling a little bit bad for young JC; because that JC hadn't done anything too bad yet - but he already knew how it would turn out if he went through with it. And he was not giving up his chance to cultivate to immortality with his hubby; just so that JC could Feel Like A Real Man, and go on to murder his way through life again.)

What would be really, really great about this, is if WWX had brought JC to Qinghe or Gusu; or somewhere the other cultivation sects involved in the SSC had gathered, before JC woke up. Planning to leave him there where he would be safe. So when JC wakes up and starts screaming, everybody hears him.

And they're all like, "...WUT."🤤

"You expected him to do what?!?"😲😨😱

So instead of all the sympathy and compassion, etc, that he would have gotten over what happened at LP (that he probably did get the first time), or for losing his GC; basically the entire allied cultivation world as a whole is collectively side-eyeing him.

IDK; I just think it would be really funny.

But mainly, I just want to see WWX a few years post-canon; having the chance to do it all again, and choosing not to go through with the GC transfer. LWJ going with him is because the thought of post-canon LWJ losing his WWX makes me sad; and I want them to stay together. 😋

Post-Canon JC going back and getting stuck with the coreless body he deserved is just for my own catharsis.

(The rest of that idea is simply for the lulz.) 😉

(I decided not to include JC traveling back in time. Hope this works and satisfies you!)

“No, I don’t.” Wei Wuxian sees Wen Qing blink and stare at him while Wen Ning stills in the process of making Jiang Cheng comfortable.

“What?” Wen Qing asks but rethinks it immediately, “No, no need to answer that.” She starts packing away her instruments immediately like she’s glad that Wei Wuxian has changed his mind. He looks at her and feels aching fondness rise in his chest. She must be frustrated that he made her go through all of that trouble and yet she still chooses to move before he can change his mind again.

“What… are we going to tell Jiang-gongzi?” Wen Ning asks tentatively but Wei Wuxian notes the faint look of relief in the boy’s eyes.

“We’ll tell him the treatment wasn't possible,” He says, glancing at his… former shidi. It isn’t an easy decision to make, because he knows Jiang Cheng would suffer for it. A part of him feels like he’s being unnecessarily cruel by denying Jiang Cheng his core.

But he has already paid his debt and it cost countless people their lives. Jiang Cheng’s actions didn’t just lead to the death of the Wens. Lan Zhan had told him about the numerous ‘demonic cultivators’ Jiang Cheng had pursued relentlessly. Even his love wasn’t certain how many people died or were tormented to insanity because of Jiang Cheng’s persistence.

While Wei Wuxian doesn’t intend to let the situation get so out of hand, it is apparent that Jiang Cheng can’t be trusted with power.

He is worried about how Jiang Cheng would react. Wei Wuxian had promised him a core, after all. But whatever happens, a powerless Jiang Cheng is safer for everyone.

“We’ll tell him that rebuilding the core is impossible because Wen Zhuliu destroyed his meridians as well.”

“He has,” Wen Qing points out, “I was about to repair them.”

Wei Wuxian frowns, “And can you repair them still? Without transferring the core?” That would certainly help Jiang Cheng heal faster and accept some spiritual energy transfusions. Wen Qing looks at Jiang Cheng with a frown and nods.

“Wei-gongzi… what changed your mind?” Wen Ning asks as Wen Qing goes to work immediately. Wei Wuxian knows that if he has to help the Wens, he needs to tell them the truth. While Wen Ning would trust him and accept his explanation without too many questions, Wen Qing wouldn’t be so easy.

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, getting his thoughts in order. When he opens them again, both of the Wens are looking at him with frowns.

He grins wryly and spreads his hands, "I have a tale for you, my dear friends."

-

Jin Guangyao needed to have his last 'hurrah'. He just couldn't leave them be, even as he died. Whatever he did, whatever tool he used, it sent a shockwave of Resentful Energy that would've killed them all.

As always, Wei Wuxian stepped forward to protect people. As always, Lan Wangji stepped forward to protect him.

Wei Wuxian gritted his teeth and changed his plan at the last moment. At first, he wanted to absorb the energy and channel it somewhere else. But with so many people just lingering instead of running, he needed a different solution.

His mind flashed, he saw Jiang Cheng, and decided.

A forbidden array formed.

-

"I needed something that would use up all of the Resentful Energy and protect everyone, including Lan Zhan."

"So, at the last moment and on the verge of dying, you chose something as improbable as time travel." Wen Qing deadpans. Wen Ning is looking at him with wide eyes. Strangely enough, both look like they believe him. Well, he did mention a few things, personal incidents, that he had no way of knowing if the Wens hadn't told him.

Still.

"I'm not the one for regrets," He says softly as he looks at Jiang Cheng, "But I thought that array was the safest solution. It doesn't harm the current timeline so everyone is safe. Lan Zhan, I know, wouldn't mind following my lead in this." He did regret taking Zewu-jun's brother away from him after such a traumatic event but there really was no other option. Not with Jin Ling so close and so many innocent people in the vicinity.

Wei Wuxian is quite certain that the blast would've destroyed everything around them, including the innocent people around the Guanyin Temple complex.

The siblings exchange glances before Wen Qing returns to Jiang Cheng's side, preparing to work on his meridians, "You're going to change things." She observes, "Save people?"

"Save you and Wen Ning. Save Jiang Yanli. Save innocents, yes."

Wen Qing freezes.

---

Lan Wangji doesn't know what Wei Ying did but he trusts his beloved. When he finds himself in the past, just before the Sunshot Campaign begins and shortly after the fall of the Lotus Pier, he doesn't hesitate.

He knows that his brother is safe and his uncle is managing things at Cloud Recesses. But he also knows that somewhere out there, his beloved is preparing himself for a risky, painful procedure.

Wangji can't let that happen. He thinks back on everything Wen Ning shared with him about the incident, particularly the location of where it occurred. He's probably too late to stop the transfer but perhaps not late enough to stop the Wens from finding Wei Ying.

It takes him days to reach Yiling without the aid of Bichen but he manages and immediately heads towards the approximate location Wen Ning had mentioned.

"Wei Ying," He breathes softly when he spots his beloved shopping for some supplies. He hadn't anticipated finding him so soon but is grateful nonetheless.

Wei Ying is dressed like a peasant and blends in well with the people around him but Wangji can recognize him anywhere.

Dressed discreetly and without his forehead ribbon, Wangji too is inconspicuous. He moves swiftly towards Wei Ying and catches his elbow, eyeing the people in red and white uniform at the far end of the street warily.

"Come." He whispers.

Wei Ying doesn't say a word, just paying the vendor and following Wangji into a more discreet location.

Wangji looks at his beloved's face, drinking in his bright silver eyes and sharp features with acute relief.

"Wei Ying, you… you look well." Strangely so, for someone who has just given up his Golden Core.

Hope stirs in his chest and Wangji reaches for Wei Ying's wrist.

His love's lips quirk in amusement, but Wangji ignores him, focusing on sending his spiritual energy through Wei Ying's meridians.

A strong core pulses in response.

"Wei Ying," Something bright and triumphant burns in his chest and he resists the urge to pull his beloved into a crushing embrace.

He would've supported Wei Ying's decision to give up his core and cultivate with resentful energy again. He knew it wasn't evil or harmful now.

But Wei Ying chose himself. His beloved had finally chosen to save himself.

"Aiya, Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying laughs, "If you keep looking at me like that, I'll do something quite shameless and embarra-"

Wangji kisses him.

He cups that precious face, pulls him close, and slides his lips over soft flesh in a tender expression of love he can't contain.

Wei Ying chose himself.

---

Jiang Cheng returns from his trip to the mountain with a thunderous expression on his face.

He disregards Lan Zhan and grabs Wei Wuxian's arm in a tough grip, dragging him away from the crowded tea house. Lan Zhan follows without a word, his expression frosty and eyes on Jiang Cheng.

"Your Grandmaster," He spits, "Is just as useless and worthless as you. All she could do is repair my meridians! My body was too damaged for anything else, she said!"

Wei Wuxian knows Wen Qing wrote the note they left by Jiang Cheng's side but he hadn't known what she had written.

It must've been reasonably convincing for Jiang Cheng to be convinced.

"That's-" He searches his mind to find words that would be appropriately sympathetic. Saying 'that's too bad' would be just rubbing salt on an open wound.

He may dislike Jiang Cheng, but some of the childhood affection still lingers. He doesn't wish to hurt his former shidi.

"I didn't know," He says finally, his heart throbbing in sympathy at Jiang Cheng's devastated expression. He briefly reconsiders his decision but Lan Zhan shifts discreetly by his side and Wei Wuxian remembers why he made that decision in the first place.

Jiang Cheng had been unworthy of the gift he had been given.

His shidi snarls and turns to Lan Zhan, "What are you doing here, Lan er-gonzi," He snarls, "Coming to triumph in our misery?"

Lan Zhan looks at him flatly, "I came to assist Wei Ying."

"Came to assist Wei Ying," Jiang Cheng mocks, his expression tight and furious, "Well, you're welcome to take him away! There's nothing left for him to destroy. Everything is gone. He invited the wrath of the Wens on our heads to protect you and that led to the destruction of my sect. He couldn't even repay that debt. His Grandmaster failed."

Jiang Cheng turns hate-filled eyes towards him, "You are a curse. My father should have left you to rot on the streets!"

"Jiang Wanyin!" Lan Zhan warns but Wei Wuxian places a hand on the Second Jade's arm to halt him.

"I'm taking you to Meishan to be with shijie." Wei Wuxian says calmly, "And then I'll go join the war efforts."

Jiang Cheng sneers before turning his head away, silent.

Wei Wuxian does as he says. He leaves Jiang Cheng in Jiang Yanli's care and heads to Qinghe with Lan Zhan. The war goes differently than before. He manages to kill Wen Zhuliu and Wen Chao early, which gives them a big morale boost. But that's the only thing that goes their way for a long time.

"I'm going to use it," He tells Lan Zhan once, when the scales tip dangerously in the Wen's favor.

Lan Zhan studies him before nodding gracefully, "I will help."

There's no way to avoid using his cultivation method, not if he wants to keep people safe. He's more careful and restrained this time and he doesn't create the Yīn Hǔ Fú. But Mo Dao is Mo Dao. It attracts disapproval from people regardless.

Wei Wuxian doesn't care and Lan Zhan stays by his side without paying any heed to the grumblings of his clan. He goes to sleep every night with Lan Zhan's guqin notes in his ear and meditates every morning with the Cleansing purging the Resentful Energy from his body.

With a powerful and active Golden Core, Wei Wuxian can't use Mo Dao liberally without risking Qi Deviation. But he uses enough to help them win the war.

Wei Wuxian successfully retakes Lotus Pier and Yunmeng from the Wens. Jiang Cheng's hatred doesn't diminish and even Jiang Yanli grows distant after a while. Jiang Cheng's suffering and downfall hardens something in his soft shijie.

Wei Wuxian accepts that consequence quietly.

He hands Lotus Pier back to Jiang Cheng and stays on the front lines, leaving most of the freshly recruited disciples behind to protect his former martial siblings. When the war ends, argues to keep the Wen cultivators in better conditions. He makes sure everyone knows how much the Jiangs owe the Wen siblings, and saves the children and elderly.

With Jiang Cheng out of the Cultivation World and Wei Wuxian's reputation as a war hero, saving the Wen remnants is easier than it had been before.

---

Everyone is baffled when Jiang Wanyin names a new head disciple and Wei Wuxian never returns to Yunmeng. People gossip, sect leaders question, and new Jiang disciple flounder.

Neither Jiang Wanyin nor Wei Wuxian confirms it but it is clear to everyone that the Jiang Sect has, foolishly, kicked out its most powerful disciple. YunmengJiang remains wealthy but the Sect's influence diminishes significantly once Wei Wuxian leaves.

Other Sects, big and small, scramble to find Wei Wuxian, ready to offer him a place and get a powerful cultivator in their ranks. Letters pour in promising wealth and prestige.

Wei Wuxian ignores them all and settles in Cloud Recesses. He's content to teach a group of eye-wide Lan ducklings now to deal with resentful energy and limit the risk of Qi Deviation. He takes them on Nighthunts, teaches them real-life lessons, encourages creativity, and becomes a well-loved senior.

New YunmengJiang disciples aren't near as strong as their predecessors without someone to teach them properly.

People gossip and speculate as the years pass. They hint that he is wrong to leave his former sect behind but he doesn't care.

Wei Wuxian has Lan Zhan and Lan Sizhui. Wen Qing and Wen Ning live happily in a small farming village not far from Gusu. They intervene before Jin Guangyao kills Nie Mingjue. They save Lan Xichen from heartache. Jin Ling is born and has both of his parents.

That's all he needs to be happy.

YunmengJiang is no longer his responsibility.