#ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʙɪᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ $$$ ic.

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^^ currently picking up every lucifer it sees and giving him a big cartoony hug. just squeezing the fucking LIFE out of him ( in a friendly way )

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@hotelbitches sent: ruler + 9'4" lilith!

❝ now THIS is how it's done, ya worthless FUCKS. you all could learn a thing or two from her majesty, here! ❞

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@fizzarollitm sent: 📏+ 5'2

❝ fizzy my boy! yanno, with how short you are, sometimes i wonder if anyone can even fuckin' SEE you on stage! i know we got cameras, but try an' stretch them legs out a bit more, yeah? ❞

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@hellpride sent: HELP??? 152 cm / 5’0 / 📏

❝ you need to invest in some higher heels, mate. this is startin' to get sad. ❞

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@originemesis sent: squints at how tall is the christmas tree-?? 📏 - a 8'9 chicken.

❝ 'bout eleven feet tall at the minute! could be taller. yer the closest so far, angel boy! ❞

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@ducktastic-dad sent: “   it's my job to take care of you. ” sort of ━ mostly.

of all the sins, mammon's cold, dead heart was not one warmed easily. it hardly took to being INTERRUPTED like this, either ( and in its private office! were it anyone else, mammon would have been FURIOUS, ) just for lucifer to pry into its overloaded work schedule. its about ready to kick him out until his defense comes -- and the sentiment brings the spider pause.

❝ and you suddenly wanna "take care of me" 'cuz you're worried, or 'cuz yer lonely ass wants COMPANY? ❞ it snorts. a joke, mostly, but they both know how often lucifer leaves the house. ❝ i'll tell ya what: if you're willing t'help me with the scheduling NIGHTMARE this is gonna put me through, y'might be able to pull me away from my desk for a few. sound fair, yeah? ❞

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@themosthatedbeing replied: *Makes the Loudest squeaky toy noise ever*

there it is! exactly what it was looking for -- thanks for that, lucifer. promptly drops the king from its embrace, only to bend aaaalllllll the way down to keep an arm wrapped around him.

❝ luci, mate, when was the last time i saw you out 'n about, eh? you really oughta visit more often! get outta that old palace 'a yours sometimes! ❞

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also happy sinday! cash upfront :)

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@gethellbcnt sent: 📏+ 18ft Belphegor? for funsies :3

❝ you can fuck RIGHT OFF ya big BITCH. ❞

( affectionately )

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@oversmiles sent: 📏 + 6'1"

❝ lose the antlers and you'd make the perfect armrest, mate. ❞

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@pridefell sent: 📏 + 166cm this man is tINY

❝ i think ya need a taller hat, luci, mate! can barely see ya down there. ❞

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@originemesis replied: ...take off that fucking three-dicked hat then, that's hella cheats!

❝ i ain't been counting the hat, dickhead. what d'you take me for? a LIAR? ❞ well, it IS, but unfortunately mammon doesn't have editing privileges. ❝ just like i ignored luci compensating fer his height, and YOUR sad attempt at seeming badass. fuckin' wannabe imp looking cunt. ❞

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@voxistem sent: 📏 + 7'0 ... B)

❝ not bad at all! i'd make another armrest joke, but i dunno how FRAGILE that screen 'a yours is. ❞

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@voxistem liked.

❝ now why haven't i met you SOONER? ❞

the king of greed has always been a difficult soul to get ahold of, even for a SIN. always busy busy busy with something or other, constantly traveling and dealing with MAFIA and when it isnt trapped in meetings. now, mammon isn't one to brush off possible business ventures, but that doesn't mean every sad attempt at getting its attention makes it to its desk -- and apparently someone down the line decided that voxtek just didn't make the cut ( WHY that is, mammon couldn't tell you. especially not with how quickly it seems to have recognized vox. )

this is, perhaps, not the most PROFESSIONAL setting, but to approach the sin on the street is a BOLD move -- and one that mammon can appreciate, as well.

❝ was startin' to think you thought you were too GOOD for ol' mammon! ❞ it's tone and body language is overly-friendly as it speaks, not quite touching him, but about as close to that as it'll let itself be. doesn't want to ruin this IMMEDIATELY.

❝ VOX, right? pleasure t'meet ya, ❞ it sticks out one of its hands for a handshake, leaning down to be at eye-level with the other demon, ❝ i assume you stopped me for a reason, yeah? ❞