#˚ side by side for eternity . . ⊹ CAREER TIMELINE.

[capitolhost]

GENERAL

more mentor/mentee things: maybe caesar is helping your character to get a breakthrough in the industry.

more caesar emotionally adopting your kid/being a DAD: just close connections with e.g. victors or young people in the capitol. he's totally taking young people up under his wing every chance he gets, as he has long forsaken the wish to have a family himself.

more relationships that aren't eternal love: i'd love some more flings for caesar as he's slept around a lot during his younger years. we can definitely work with staying friends, or becoming enemies, or even rekindling their relationship post war. just a lot of different types of relationships.

caesar fathering an illegitimate child: this is a bit more a whimsical idea, but caesar sleeping around a lot in the early years of his hosting career might have led to a whopsie. i'd be up for exploring that plot, especially if he's unaware of the child for a long, long while (post war orphaned teen appearing on his doorstep?)

PRE BOOKS

for victors: any kind of recruiting your victor to the cause of the rebellion, whether it's caesar trying to figure out your character or beginning to speak more plainly with them.

for victors: talking behind-the-scenes about strategies employed for the interviews of their tributes (e.g. what topics should caesar ask about?)

for capitol residents: friendship, enemies to lovers, flings (especially in caesar's early years), colleagues, people who try to sabotage his career, people who want to get on his good side, people who try to get information on current games from him to get a sponsoring advantage

DURING THE BOOKS: BEFORE THE WAR

for haymitch: caesar and haymitch talking before the interviews about the love confession in the seventy-fourth interview

for rebels: during the seventy-fourth games, talks and hopes about the katniss and peeta angle. possibly some conspiracy talks, such as the rule change.

for capitol rebels: the time after the seventy-fourth games and the changing mood in panem. hopes arising, plans being pushed into place.

for victor rebels: conspiratorial action before the war, such as revealing to victors what plutarch's plan for the quarter quell is.

for victor rebels: once they arrive in the capitol for the third quarter quell, conversations about going back into the arena.

for rebels not in the arena: further plans and conspiracies during the seventy-fifth games, possibly gathering in pairs to discuss what they saw on screen or caesar checking up on them or further plots made for the escape attempt. for any capitol rebels also talking about the fear of discovery during the upcoming rebellion.

DURING THE BOOKS: WAR TIME

for peeta: mockingjay timeline anything! interviews, talks before or after the interviews, caesar visiting peeta as often as he can, caesar living his double agent role by trying to give peeta more details without being noticed.

for all imprisoned victors: caesar and them doing propos together. caesar trying to help them while he's still in his double agent role (e.g. slipping in food). them communicating (or trying to) when they are both imprisoned. them being rescued together by the rebels.

for people high up in the rebellion: before caesar gets caught, he is providing information to 13 as often as he can (including just mentioning he's still alive). some bad quality zoom calls to update them on what is happening once he is in thirteen, he will help out the rebellion by being at meetings and providing information on the capitol—especially when they attack it directly.

for everyone in district thirteen during the war: caesar and them meeting in thirteen, possibly surprised at his part in the rebellion in case they don't know yet. caesar doing propos with important rebels together (e.g. katniss or finnick). caesar just hanging out™ with some of the people in thirteen. possibly some hostility by those who don't trust him regardless.

for alma coin: enemy-enemy threads where alma and caesar are bickering, caesar refusing to help her rebellion all that much, and the rare moments when he does (e.g. by providing crucial information on the capitol).

for any nurses in district thirteen: caesar is the charming and slightly annoying patient. some hospital threads where your muse is doing their medical job while he's being a dramatic annoyance charismatic person.

for katniss: caesar is at the mansion before snow dies. maybe katniss and him discuss the bombs that fell, and katniss has someone to theorise with. this idea comes directly from her passing out in a wardrobe of clothes after talking to haymitch⸺could be caesar's room and he finds her there (or she runs straight into him), meaning katniss gets the conversation she sought with haymitch elsewhere.

AFTER THE BOOKS

for any people living in the districts post war: caesar has a new show where he reports on the rebuilding efforts in panem and would visit your character's district. he might interview your character, or, if they know each other better, he would visit your character beforehand and have a nice conversation. this is the first time he'd even be able to visit your character's home, so he would stay for as long as he can to chat and help out.

above, but specifically for the victors: caesar has a fatherly relationship with a majority of the victors. he'd want to check up on his emotionally adopted kids ever so often, so he might stop by during their birthday as well or when an important event happened (e.g. post annie giving birth).

for katniss or peeta: as mentioned at the end of mockingjay, katniss and peeta are working on their book to write about people they have lost. caesar might stop by and provide some more tributes and victors.

for victors or anyone otherwise involved with the games: i picture there being an anniversary celebration to remember the horrors of the games. caesar would be present during that time and he'd be meeting your characters and talk with them.

for anyone in entertainment post war: caesar would still be around! outside of the above-mentioned show i can totally picture him exploring other venues once a few years passed and he's feeling healthier. maybe your character is a singer and he's hosting the singing show plutarch planned. things like that & obviously need heavy plotting beforehand.

[dwreader]

Curious, if you want to answer, why you don’t think the eternal sunshine theory hold weight? I think some version of it is happening so curious what that looks like from the other side

The whole scene of Armand dropping his mask just doesn't vibe with the theory for me. Revealing himself because Daniel was making Louis upset, showing off his power as a threat and then literally verbally threatening him just feels totally incongruous w/ whatever half assed backstory people have hc'd these days. Louis also straight up introduces Armand to Daniel like they've officially never met before which I guess could still be part of the "act" but then if even the mask reveal is part of the act then its just like fine call me when the show's over so I can watch knowing what to believe lmao. It's also a plot device I don't care for and in general I find memory wipes to be a problematic and overpowered device (especially in this situation where its like literal yrs would have to be wiped plus people in the periphery of daniel's life, career, etc would be involved), not to mention structurally for a show with 7-8 eps per season, it doesn't make sense to add another timeline of flashbacks that has nothing to do with the main story especially as s3 is about Lestat's origin. Maybe they can get away with some truncated version but then it seems like fans would be mad it doesn't do it justice.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Burdened With Glorious Jealousy

Tom Hiddleston Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Navigation

Summary: whilst watching the finale of Loki, you cannot help but feel jealous from viewing the chemistry between your partner and the actress of Sylvie

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Female Reader, mentions of Loki x Sylvie

Warnings: jealousy, angst, fluff, some spoilers for Loki, crying, envy

There was an unspoken chemistry on the scene that was reeling upon the television, Tom was seated next to you, watching the efforts of his acting and directing unfold. It had been a long time coming for Loki to get the recognition that he deserved with a project that prioritised the fan favourite character on the big screen, and finally after much labour it had arrived for the viewers to consume, you included. And to say that you were proud of your partner and his career was an understatement, you had never felt more elated for somebody that you cared for than in this moment. It was an occasion that dabbled your tastes in mere sips of elegant wine - the finale! Everything had been building up to this, and finally the oncoming villain that was taking Thanos' mantle as the worst big bad was revealed, though the version of the conquerer himself to be revealed. A rousing blossom grew in your chest as you watched the god of mischief creep closer to his timeline counterpart and forge his lips upon hers like he was taming a dying star.

Granted Sylvie kicked Loki away so that she could carry out her benevolent deed that she had been striving towards, but the pit of bleak assortment remained within your stomach, as though it were a dog growling at a beast that it did not like. Slowly, with moments so tender the episode made its way to the closing point, the return of Loki and Sylvie lingering in the air, however not as you had expected. You had surely thought you'd be eager to see the two mischievous characters on screen together again as soon as possible, but rather than that excitement dousing your reaction, a part of you was glad that it had ended there and that you'd have to wait some time until their troublesome presences returned. Tom turned to you and placed both of your hardly touched glasses down upon the coffee table, a grin on his face that could only be matched with the comparison of a child entering a candy store, free to pick whatever they wanted. The actor instead of wanting to choose something to dance with flavour on his tongue was earnestly wishing to hear your reaction on all of his hard work.

He was aware that him being away to film the project had prickled you with dire symptoms of loneliness, and that you'd constantly keep in touch with him via any methods possible to stow away that feeling, and he had been glad that you had done so, but watching your face continuing to stare at the blackened screen reminded him of those difficult times in the past. There was no doubt that your mind was running to its own accord and betraying the acceptance of peace that it hungered for; the dull and distant expression that you carried was one that Tom had witnessed before and took it upon himself as your partner to restore your viewpoint to one of no worries. And if it was his duty to confront and comfort you on it again then so be it, he'd continue to do so for eternity if it meant that he would keep you by his side for the rest of your lives. "Darling." Like the cracking of a warm fire his voice spoke, bringing a glow of content to your skin even though you remained in peril from your own deceiving thoughts.

"The show was amazing Tom, as I knew it would be." The tone of your voice masked the truth of your emotions, it was no doubt that you meant each word that you had said, though your perspective of Loki was now no longer Tom's priority. Instead he needed to be aware of the fort your mind had built that kept your confidence imprisoned, and more importantly how to remove each brick so that he could give you your freedom. "I am so proud of you honey, you have exceeded my expectations once again, if this weren't reality and one that I was happy to live in, I'd expect that you were Loki himself wanting to trick me into believing into the multiverse." If Tom were oblivious then he would think your soft laughter was one of true amusement to your own joke, but he knew you too well. Far too well... It was all an act, but he was the actor and could tell when your efforts were in play, and as he leant closer you could feel your own heart beat in your pulse. He was onto you, you knew it from the speculative look in his blue ocean eyes that were dimes of success into your soul.

"As interesting as that would be, I would rather talk about the way your gorgeous face is emoting the one thing that you should never have to feel dear." His soft hands reached gently up to cup your face, your cheeks withering fearfully from the fearfulness that got closure from the contact that your boyfriend gave to you. "I can tell what you're feeling beautiful, and may I add that you have no reason to feel this way, however I understand and will not demean you for such a thing. You know that you're the most important woman in the world to me, and everything that you saw on that screen was nothing more than me doing my job; acting. That kiss meant nought to me, whilst there is not a single part of me that considers you less than everything. So please don't pretend that you feel fine my love, be aware that no matter the circumstances that you can confide in me for anything." The sentences of support that he spoke to you coerced you into blinking back the heartfelt glaze that covered your eyes, perhaps he was correct, and that it was no bother to express how you were feeling, and so you allowed your mouth to run with the temptation that stirred within your gut.

"But she's so beautiful, how can you not feel something towards her whether that be lust or love?" You said in reference to his costar Sophie, being envious of her outstanding talent to portray a comic character in a live action version of the counterpart that was designed on paper and the beauty that she doubtlessly had. Any woman was bound to feel jealous from her presence alone, more so when their significant other was their love interest in a show. If he so much as wanted Tom could simply kick you away as though you were nothing more than muck on his shoe, and there would be nothing that you could possibly do about it. However he remained beside you, deep lines invading the smooth texture of his skin as anger burned in his form; was it his fault that you felt so susceptible to various insecurities where you would do nothing to help yourself and choose instead to compare you to other woman? Some fault laid on him for he had not done enough to convince you that you didn't need to be more than you already were, and more importantly that he didn't want you to be.

"I have said it before and I'll say it again; because I have you, and you are all that I need. There is no other soul on this earth that matches mine so tenderly, I feel as though I have failed to make you feel loved and secure in the body that you are in. And you should understand that this is how we aligned, with both our bodies colliding, being scorned by scorching coffee. That was my destiny, my purpose, that one accident set into play the future that I had always dreamed of - with you, the woman of my dreams." At the end of his speech, you were lightly shaking from how deep his emotions for you ran, in every syllable that he spoke Tom was right. You still had a scar of the burn mark somewhere on your body and whenever you looked at it it caused you to smile from the memory.

"You're right. I'm sorry." The jealousy that you had felt started to fade as though it was a character from the marvel universe turning to dust, realisation dawned on you that Sophie was only doing her job in the role that she was cast, and in the real universe Tom was doing the same by being with you. Happily. Anger resonated from within you for yourself, but it soon started to dissipate as Tom, your gentle lover, reached to clasp your slightly shaking hands with his own, leaning towards you so that you could breathe in the natural musk that conjured his scent to be one of comfort. "I shouldn't be putting you through this every time that I see you on television with another woman-"

"Y/n, stop." He consoled you from running your mouth on matters that had no importance to him, he was willing to go through this time and time again if it meant that he was continuously giving you the clarity that you needed to remain affirmed with the belief that you indeed were good enough and would be for the rest of your lives together. "Love, it is okay my darling. We all feel let down occasionally, and it is one of the things that makes you human, and may I add that I do plan to marry you one day, I want to spend this life with you! Only you." He adamantly stated, pulling you into his side to share his warmth. A smile courageously plucked up on your face as you gazed up at Tom, forgetting about your worries as you decided to enjoy the moments that you were to share with your future husband.

[jann-the-bean]

The Past Rains

A oneshot set in the timeline of studioverse but way before the twins acting career takes off. The story takes place in the small town where Nightmare and Dream were raised. One twin falls ill to an unknown illness, what will the other do?

TW: Near death experience and mention of child neglect

•

•

•

“Nighty… I’m c-cold…” A small child’s voice, barely audible, called out to Nightmare. The golden boy’s body trembled violently, his body and clothes were completely drenched from head to toe. The wind howled, as the rain pelted against their bones. Dark clouds swirled the sky chasing after one another as lightning struck and thunder crackled throughout the horizon.

A young Nightmare’s eyes widened in horror at the sight of his brother. “Dreamy…?” He was shaking so hard.. Just how long had his brother been left out? He was sure that Dream was inside the house with mother-

Oh…. Oh no…

Not again… had their mother really left them to fend for themselves once more? Had Nim left Dream alone in their house? Nightmare clenched his tiny hand into a fist. He shouldn’t be surprised. For as long as he could remember Nim wasn’t great at caring for them.. always disappearing with her friends.. claiming she was saving the world.. or something stupid like that. But what about them? Her kids… the literal children she gave life to.. shouldn’t she be more worried about them?

“……….”

Whatever.. he didn’t have time to think about that.. his brother was clearly in a bad state… Nightmare just hoped Dream would be ok.

Without wasting more time Nightmare retrieved a spare key they kept hidden under the rug and quickly unlocked the door. He pulled Dream inside and rushed his brother to the bathroom. “Brother.. take off your clothes and get in the tub.. a bath should warm you up..” Nightmare’s soft voice stated as he rushed to prepare the water.

This was the right thing to do right? A warm bath… not too hot…because that could shock the system… but enough to bring some warmth to the body… should he do something else? What other things could he do..? Get blankets? Should he try to prepare warm blankets? Could he even warm them up? Something warm… Soup? Soup was warm… Should he make soup?

“N-Nighty..”

Dream’s feeble voice yanked Nightmare from his thoughts. Dream looked so tired… exhausted… and his bones rattled uncontrollably. It tore at Nightmare’s soul seeing his brother in such a state. Dream wasn’t always the brightest… he should’ve been able to find the spare key.. but maybe he was too scared when the storm picked up in intensity.

“It’s ok Dreamy… Tu hermano está aquí... I’ll protect you ok?” Nightmare meant every word. He was willing to do anything to keep his brother out of harms way. It didn’t matter what he had to sacrifice.. so long as his brother was safe and healthy.

The violet child decided it was best to stay with Dream.. he couldn’t bare to leave his side. He helped his brother undress and offered to help them bathe, but as he did Nightmare grew increasingly worried. Even after a warm bath his brother was still trembling.. that couldn’t be a good sign.. what didn’t help his anxiety was that now his brother had started coughing.

It was just from being cold Nightmare told himself. It’s not a big deal, right? It’ll pass..

…….

Surely it would.

……..

But as time went by Dream only got worse. Minutes felt like hours. It all felt like an eternal nightmare. As the days passed Dream’s cough got worse and he grew weaker and weaker… barely able to get out of bed.

Nightmare feared the worst. He knew his brother was sick. It had been two days since Nim was home.. and there was no way he could take his brother to a doctor on his own… they had no phone.. no way of communicating with others…. He could go to their small town.… but even if he ran all the way there it would still take him 30 minutes to get there and back. The violet skeleton glanced at his brother, who was currently taking quick shallow breaths… He didn’t dare leave his brothers side.

With no other options left.. all he could do was hope that his brother would get better. It was terrible.. no 9 year old should go through this.. not alone at least. The parents should be the one trying to make sure their sick child was ok… or help them get better.. to go get help. Take them to doctors or at least be here!! Yet.. Nim was nowhere to be found.. so Nightmare was forced to take on that role. He renounced his childhood in order to help raise his brother.. hopefully he’d do a better job then their mother.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The violet skeleton hadn’t been able to sleep properly terrified that if he fell asleep maybe he’d miss something important. Of course as much as he tried to fight it he dozed off a few times but as soon as his eyes shot open he quickly checked on his brother’s condition.

Still sleeping… still cold… at least now it seemed Dream wasn’t getting any worse.. but he still showed no signs of getting better. The last time he managed to see his golden twins eyes they appeared dim- not bright and golden… like a flame flickering out.

Nightmare sniffled and held his younger twin’s hand. “D-Dreamy… por favor.. wake up… n-no me dejes solo… I don’t want to be alone…”

After what felt like an eternity later.. there was a click of a door opening. “Bebés! Mamá ya llego a casa!” Nightmare shot straight up, Mother was finally home! He quickly rushed over to his mother. He needed to tell her! Tell Mom that Dream was sick! Mom would surely be worried! Mom would take his brother to the doctor!

“M-Mama!” Nightmare called out, anguish in his voice, as he gently tugged on her dress.

“Hola me pedacito de cielo.. míralos bien grandes.. such big boys! Being able to take care of yourselves! Mama is going to bake you an apple pie for being so good!”

“Ah… no.. mama… Dream… el esta.. he’s really sick…”

“Que? Hay pobrecito.. here let me go check on him.”

Nightmare sighed a bit relieved, his mother would see poor Dream curled up in bed, see how ill he was. Then he’d go to the doctor and they’d fix his brother! Dream would be ok!

Nim made her way over to Dream’s room and knocked on the door before quietly opening it. “Solecito~ Amor de mi vida.. como te sientes? You feeling alright?” Their mother made her way to Dream and rested her palm of her hand on Dream’s forehead. Her brow bones furrowed as she felt how ice cold her son felt.

“M-mm..” The golden skeleton shifted slightly and weakly coughed in response. His breathing was labored and shallow, and every so often his body slightly trembled even with the numerous amounts of blankets covering him.

“Mi niño… you poor thing.. No te preocupes.. mamá will make you some soup to help warm you up alright? You just rest.”

Nim placed a soft kiss on Dream’s forehead before heading back to the kitchen. Nightmare’s soul felt like it had sunk to the ground. What…? Was mother not going to take Dream to the doctor… but he needs help!

“Mama!” Nightmare called as he ran towards his mother. “Mama Dream necesita un doctor! He’s really really sick! He’s been sick for a long time… por favor… el necesita un hospital..”

“Sssh… hijito… Nightmare… you’ll disturb your brothers rest if you keep shouting like that.” She knelt next to nightmare and offered a soft smile. “I know you’re worried.. mama también lo está pero los doctores.. you know the doctors haven’t treated mamá very well. Y sabes.. only really really really sick people go to the hospital ok?”

She paused for a moment before continuing.

“Besides.. your bodies are made to keep you healthy. Whatever your brother has.. se le pasará. He’ll be better in no time. Now why don’t you help me make make him some soup! That will make him feel better.”

“………..” Nightmare was stunned. He didn’t know what to do. Were doctors that bad? He read about them.. they were supposed to help people. But mother.. appeared to dislike them. Maybe… maybe it would be best to avoid them. “Ok mamá.. I’ll help you..”

It didn’t take the two long to make a creamy warm soup. Nightmare figured out how to work around the kitchen long ago.. considering how many times he was left alone with his brother. Usually not for long periods of time.. but they’d get hungry during her absence. So Nightmare had to at least know how to make something simple. Honestly the small skeleton would’ve said it was fun making soup with his mom if the circumstances were different.

Nim helped pour some soup into a bowl with a plate underneath so Nightmare could bring it to Dream. For some reason the journey from the kitchen to their room felt longer. It almost felt like he’d never reach his brothers room. The violet child’s sockets burned as tears threatened to pour out. No… he had to be strong for his brother. But…. But what if…. No no… mother is right.. Dream can fight the sickness away… his body can fix itself.. right?

After what felt like an eternity he reached their room and quietly walked in. They had a small nightstand that Nightmare used to set the soup down before gently nudging Dream’s shoulder.

“Hermano…. w-wake up.. mamá and I made some soup…”

The golden child shivered and groaned in response, not opening his eyes.

“V-vamos Dream.. tienes que comer… it’ll warm you up…”

Dream’s eyes barely fluttered open and their gaze fixed themselves on Nightmare before nodding slightly. “Kay….” Was all they could muster.

Nightmare dryly swallowed, Dream’s eyelights were so dim.. at this point they appeared almost nonexistent. He felt… so helpless.. Nightmare could do nothing but watch his brother succumb to this unknown illness. As best he could he propped his brother into a sitting position, letting Dream rest against him.

The violet child placed the bowl of soup in his lap gently blowing on the spoonful of soup to make sure it wasn’t too hot before offering it to his brother. Dream parted his lips slightly, enough to let the spoon slip inside. Nightmare made sure that his brother swallowed the soup before offering him some more.

Dream only took a couple more sips before turning his head to the side in refusal. “No more…….. wa… nt… sl… eep…” Dream’s feeble voice barely croaked.

Nightmare soul twisted in knots. His chest felt tight.. he had no room to breath. His stomach churned as the sense of fear began to gnaw at his core. “N-No!! Hermano! You need to eat! P-please! Dreamy… por favor….”

No response, Dream only slouched against his brother letting his eyes close once more. Finally the tears that Nightmare had been holding back had spilt from his sockets like a dam that was finally torn down. He quietly sobbed as he shakily placed the bowl onto the nightstand. Was he going to lose his brother? Would he lose his twin? His other half? Would he be all alone in this world…?

It was a thought that echoed in his mind. No twin. Alone. No brother. Loneliness. No Dream. No…. Dream…? The hot tears continued to pour down his cheeks as he attempted to lay his brother back down. But it was difficult… his vision was so blurry from the tears he couldn’t see properly.

“N-No me dejes hermano… please you can’t… l-leave me behind…. You need to get better…” The violet skeleton sobbed in between words. He cautiously placed himself next to his brother and wrapped an arm around them . “L-Lo siento… I couldn’t do more…”

Nightmare’s body shook with each gasp of air he took in between cries. Dream’s body was like ice.. it was almost painful the freezing temperature of Dream’s body against his heated bones. But he refused to let go.. he couldn’t.. Nightmare wanted to keep holding him tight, a childish idea that naybe as long as he didn’t let go Dream would be ok. Dread slowly crept and polluted his mind..

Dream wouldn’t make it…. He was too sick… Nightmare was too late to save him…. Being the older twin Nightmare failed as a brother…

Tears continued to roll out his sockets as those thoughts consumed his skull. He stared out the window into the darkening night. The sound of rain pelted against the window and could barely be heard from inside. It was a light storm.. one that would normally help the little ones sleep. A light gust of wind passed and the house quietly creaked alongside it. Nightmare’s eyelids felt heavy.. and slowly they began to fall shut against his will. He was exhausted… his little body could no longer fight it he’d gone so long without sleep. Gradually as the seconds ticked by Nightmare succumbed to fatigue.

“…….”

The sound of rain continued as the drops trickled down along the window panes.

“……ty…”

“……….”

It was soothing hearing the droplets of rain come down at an even gentle pace. Like white noise.. the ones you search up when you have trouble sleeping at night.

“N…. Ty…

“……..

“Nighty?”

Nightmare had been staring out the window where the light storm could be visible. He hadn’t realized he’d zone out. But Dream tilted their head and their brow bones slightly narrowed in worry.

Nightmare blinked a couple of times. “Huh?”Dream was sitting before him.. a grown adult.. healthy and strong.

“Nighty… is everything alright? You’re kinda spacing out..” Dream stated concern audible in their voice.

Nightmare kept his gaze on his brother for a moment longer before turning his attention back to the rain. But Nightmare was looking somewhere far past that.. to a small town.. in a small house.. the rain always brought to the surface old memories he wish he could long forget. But that day was seared into his mind and soul.

Nightmare faced his brother once more and sighed. “Of course everything’s alright brother.. I just remembered something is all.”

Dream didn’t appear to be satisfied with the answer and opened his mouth to respond. But a knock on the door interrupted them. Nightmare scowled slightly before standing up and heading towards the door. “I wonder if that’s your husband ready to escort you back home. At least he has some class to do that.”

“Oh don’t be so mean Nighty, you know he’s a gentleman. My husband is always taking care of me!” Dream chirped as they stood from their chair.

Nightmare couldn’t deny that. As much as he wasn’t completely on board with Dream marrying a much older man.. Cross at least did treat Dream with the utmost respect. As far as he’d been able to see Cross was a responsible and good man. One that made his brother happy, but of course he’d never admit it out loud.

As Nightmare opened the door Cross offered an awkward greeting but kept his signature poker face look. Dream smiled brightly and naturally ran to his husbands side and greeted him with a hug. “Crossy!”

The tall skeleton blushed for a moment before hugging his golden husband. “Hi Sunny.” He offered a brief smile before going back to a neutral look. “Uh… it started raining.. and I don’t know if you brought your thermal rain jacket..”

“Oh! Well.. it wasn’t raining earlier so I didn’t think to bring one.” Responded the golden skeleton.

“Didn’t think so.. here I brought one along just in case.”

“Awe! Thank you Crossy! You’re so wonderful!” Dream got on their tippy toes and placed a quick peck on their husbands cheek.

Cross groaned lightly while Nightmare rolled his eyes. Dream really had no shame or issue with being affectionate in public. Nightmare was thankful that at least they weren’t making out inside his flat.

It didn’t take long for Dream to put on his long thermal raincoat. It was a little to big for him. The sleeves reaching past his hands and the length going a couple inches past his knees.

“You ready Sunny?” Cross questioned still standing at the doorway.

“Yup! I’m all set to go!” Dream took a few steps towards the door. “Nos vemos pronto Nighty!”

“……..”

Nightmare knew that his brother would be ok. Knew that he didn’t have to worry about his brother getting sick.. or be scared about leaving his side.

Yet that memory was forever ingrained in his head. Something that he wasn’t sure he could ever be set free from.

So just before Dream could exit the flat Nightmare grasped their arm and pulled them into a tight embrace, giving them a light squeeze. “Just…. Stay warm.. alright?”

The golden skeleton was a bit taken aback and caught off guard by his brothers sudden action. Nightmare wasn’t really the physically affectionate type. He was never a huge fan of hugs or anything of that sort. So for a moment Dream was frozen on the spot.

“Nighty….” But as the words registered in their mind Dream smiled softly a bit bittersweet before returning the hug.

Ah that’s right… It was raining… Dream’s brother always got a bit spacey and lost in thought during rainy days. When Dream had realized the reason behind it they felt a sense of guilt. Their memory of that day was hazy and not entirely clear, so Dream could only recall certain bits and pieces.

But sometimes in their own dreams they can hear a young Nightmare’s voice pleading them to get better. Dream’s eyes began to get teary as they offered a light squeeze of their own. If only Dream could go back and hug the young violet skeleton and let him know everything would be ok.

“Of course… Tu también hermano.. you make sure to stay warm too.”

Nightmare nodded and gradually let his brother go. Dream offered a reassuring smile and waved goodbye as they finally left, holding their husbands hand heading back to their own flat.

The violet skeleton sighed and continued to stare off into the rain. A ping from his phone interrupted his thoughts, and a smile curled on his lips seeing it was from marshmallow.

*Killer and I are stuck.. in traffic. We’ll be there soon!*

He couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head. Knowing Killer he probably decided to take a detour somewhere and got ‘distracted.’ It would most likely be a while before they returned home.

Once again he stared out the window, the rain starting to let up a bit. The young violet skeleton had always wondered what would become of them. What their futures would look like.

Nightmare certainly hadn’t expected this at all, it wasn’t what he had planned.

But…

He wouldn’t change it for anything. He wish he could go back and let his younger self know that even if times were difficult that things would work out. That he’d have two warm and loving pair of arms awaiting him everyday. And that his brother had reached adulthood.. settled down in a relationship and was leading a successful life.

“Mama… Que pensaras de nosotros…” Nightmare thought out-loud. What would his mother think? Maybe she wasn’t the greatest mother.. but he couldn’t deny the love he felt from her. Not all days were bad.. hopefully she’d be proud of twin children.

Original Dream, Nightmare, and Nim by @jokublog

Original Cross by @jakei95

Original Killer by @rahafwabas

Original Ccino by @black-nyanko

Studioverse/ studio @zu-is-here

Well I hope that you all enjoyed this little snippet of the twins backstory! As mentioned above this is still within the timeline where the twins and others become actors (except for Ccino who is out lovely barista) but this is set during the twins childhood!

Now this story is based on a lovely headcanon that @help-im-a-gay-fish proposed during one of our rp’s! So if you’re curious about Dream’s illness/ condition gayfish will soon provide you with the details!

Again thanks for your support and thanks for reading!

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Quarters. | 9

☼1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 

prompt: “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” — soul-gazing

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings/au: please keep warnings in mind—dysfunctional relationship with a capital D, toxic relationship themes, but they’re attempting to get better, probably inaccurate therapy but i tried, m-ish, humor(i try), mentions of drug usage, cheater cheater pumpkin eater?, fluff, angst, boxer!au, iceskater!au. 

authors note: Hello!!💖it’s been a while since the last update but here we are. ✨This chapter is pretty long✨. Unlike some of the other parts, it is following the timeline of the previous part(pt. 8) so just keep that in mind. See m.list for other parts. Enjoy!🥰

“Do it again, you need to stop relying on your right leg so much!”

Your coach yells for the third time in the last hour, she’s being a tyrant today. Your poor ankles are about to break off, your legs are straining and the cold air is starting to feel like vengeful needles. It’s been about two months since the incident with your leg and the doctor at your last check up granted you freedom to skate again. You’re glad it did to because you were about to go crazy. After the scandal came out about you and your ex-coach judge, she asked you if you wanted to get back into pairs. She went on about how Lucas was open to joining pairs again and that maybe you could get back with him—tempting offer. You’ve thought about it, though you still haven’t made a decision. It has been months since your injury, you can no longer use it as an excuse to take things easy. 

Determined to get it right, you skate back to your starting point and try it again. You skate forward, bending your knees just slightly to gain more momentum and once you turn, you take off into a triple salchow. Perfect.

”Finally,” You mutter, skating over to the edge of the rink where your coach is just getting off a phone call.

“Okay, Lucas will be here on Thursday to practice with you,” She smiles, tucking her phone in her pocket, “there’s a competition in two months and I think you two should sign up for it.”

“Coach, I haven’t decided if I want to get back into that,” You put on your blade guards and walk over to the lockers, “I just don’t know yet.”

“Think about it,” She leans against the lockers as you untie your skates and put them in your bag, “if you’re seriously pursuing this career, you have to be flexible. You’re not getting any younger. I hate it just as much as you do but you’ll get positive exposure with him and maybe even pick up a sponsor for the season.”

“Fine,” You zip up your duffel bag and slip your hoodie on, deciding to leave the yoga pants on, “but I need a break. I worked a night shift last night so I’m only standing because I took three espresso shots and I’m about to take another one, I’m exhausted.”

“I know you are, try to get some rest this weekend. You’ll be at the ballet studio for half of next week so you won’t be on the ice,” She says that, hoping it’ll give you some relief, “just don’t forget to soak your feet tonight.”

You gather your stuff and walk out of the center, waving at Carrie the desk clerk like a zombie. It’s only 8 o’clock but you’ve been here for two hours, you feel like you’re in a time loop. An eternal warp created to keep you totally spent. When you hop in your car, you crank it up and turn the heat on. Not long after, your eyelids begin to feel heavy so you drive over to the closest coffee shop. When you look down at your phone, you see a missed call from Jeon Jungkook. All prior emojis have been removed from his contact.

His call will stay missed, just like the other five. You’re not in the mood for his sob story. About two weeks ago, you decided that you two needed to take a break but he took it hard. You remember sitting on your couch with crossed arms and staring at him as he twisted and squirmed uncomfortably.

“What kind of break?”

Are there different kinds?

“The kind where we stop seeing each other all the time, I don’t know what kind that is, Jungkook. But I can’t deal with this right now, it’s causing me major stress and anxiety...”

“You can’t deal with me?” He sounds hurt.

“Not with you Jungkook, with your crap. I have a ice skating career to try to work out, a job, school, the last thing I need to worry about is whether you can control yourself,” You frown, “you were just at my house with my niece and next thing I know you’re out getting high and fooling around with other girls.”

“You’re still upset about the photo,” He concludes, “baby, I told you, it didn’t go anywhere with that girl, I pushed her off. I wasn’t completely sober but I know I didn’t let her-”

“That’s exactly my point, you were doing drugs. And for what? You don’t need it. I understand a little bit of smoking every now and then but I can’t handle when you do that other stuff. That night was a disaster. I got stabbed, how does that even happen? But of course, it would happen to me,” You massage the sides of your temples. “I’m just over it, I’m tired.”

“You want to give up on us? Just like that? I’ve apologized a thousand times, I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m sorry,” He twiddles his fingers and bites at his bottom lip, “I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’m not giving up,” You defend, “we need some space to work on our selves.”

“Why can’t we work on ourselves together?”

“We’ve been doing that and it doesn’t work.”

The conversation continued on until you two ended up arguing for a good hour before you lied, saying you had to go to class. He left and you haven’t heard from him since, not a a call, a text, a call, not even a like on any of your recent posts. He’s taking this well.

*

“Why did you do that!? She’s gonna think I called her,” Jungkook snatches the phone from Jimin, “fuck, are you trying to get me killed?”

“Come on,” Jimin roles his eyes with a grin, putting his boxing gloves back on, “you guys can’t stay away from each other, you expect me to believe you two aren’t talking-”

“I’m serious, we haven’t talked for weeks,” Jungkook locks his phone with a frown, tucking it in his gym bag, “she’s done with me.”

“Oh, aw man,” He is serious, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you guys broke up.” 

He had been by you and Jungkook for the entirety of the relationship, it always seemed like you preferred things to be spontaneous. Admittedly, he knew Jungkook would do something that pushed you over the edge one day but he didn’t think it would be so soon. 

“We didn’t break up,” Jungkook mumbles, tying his hair back with a head band, “we’re just taking a break, that’s what she told me at least.”

“Aw, that sucks,” Jimin has to contain his amusement, it’s not funny but the fact that Jungkook is giving you full control over the relationship is unusual to him.

“Every time I think about trying to talk to her, I just remember that face she makes and that tone she uses. That’s when I know she does not give a single fuck, it’s scary.” 

“Is there a reason she’s being so hard on you? Don’t get me wrong, you were in the wrong. You shouldn’t have been there but it’s been weeks.”

“Her past relationship was rough on her mentally and emotionally. When she was young she had some things happen to her that causes her to have a hard time trusting others.”

“If you knew that then why did you do what you did?”

“I don’t know, okay? Everyone's been beating me up about it but I just don’t have an answer for you. I said I was sorry,” Jungkook shakes his head, fists making brunt contact with the punching bag, “I just I miss her,”

“It’ll be alright, she’ll come around,” Jimin holds the bag, keeping it still for the lovesick boy, “just give it some time. Hey, I’m taking my niece to the ice-skating rink in town, you should come!”

Jungkook, dramatically collapses to the ground, laying back on the ground with his boxing gloves on his face. “Ice-skating, why would you suggest ice-skating!?” He whines. “That’s literally what she does, it’s just going to remind me of her...”

“Aw Kook, I know,” Jimin can’t help but giggle at Jungkook’s overreaction, “that’s okay, you’ll be fine, and besides,” He pulls him up from the ground and pushes his shaggy hair back, “you can’t stay away from each other forever..”

“What about this one?” You step out of the dressing room, turning from side-to-side to let her see, “I like the color.”

“That’s the one,” Harmony scrolls through her phone, eyes going between you and the screen, “perfect.”

“Harmony, you’re just saying that!” You whine, turning to look into the mirror again with a frown.

“Y/n, this is the 11th dress you’ve tried on, it looks great. I’m serious.”

“Okay, I’ll go with this one then,” You smile, going back in the dressing room to change back into your clothes. Yuna’s having a party for the charity she works with. All of the money donated goes to buying toys and clothes for kids in foster care and orphanages, you attend every year. 

“You know, I heard Jungkook might come with Taehyung,”

Ugh, you forgot that your groups of friends are also friends. Jeon Jungkook, you still consider him your boyfriend in some aspects, but you don’t want to face him right now. Maybe you’re dragging this out too far but honestly, you don’t care. You love him but right now, you’re doing too well to let him crawl himself back into your life. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t creeping on his social media every now and then, you do care enough to see how he’s doing on there. 

“Hm,” 

“That’s all you have to say?” She giggles.

“Yup.”

“Did you officially dump his ass yet?”

You step out of the dressing room, rolling your eyes harder than necessary.

“Look, what happened to you was terrible. You couldn’t skate because of him. You caught him with another girl and you still let him take you home,” She was still bitter about Jungkook taking you away the way he did, she still thinks she should have insisted more.

You clear your throat, “I rather not talk about it.” 

It’s been admittedly awkward every time one of your friends bring that night up. On one hand, you understand why they bash him so hard but on the other hand, it’s hard to hear. You two leave the mall and grab lunch to eat in the comfort of your car..

During this break, you’ve decided to try and take things slow, relax. Admittedly, it would be nice to have Jungkook around again, to run errands with, to cuddle with. It’s hard not to miss him, you knew it would be. 

“We should go to the pop-up ice-skating rink on campus today, it’s a family thing I think,” Harmony squeezes ketchup onto her fries with a thoughtful him, “it sounds fun.”

“It’s funny you say that, Lucas invited me to go ther. He was going to go with his family, I told him I probably wouldn’t be able to.” You sigh.

“Oh, that’s right! The prince is back in town,” Harmony always had a thing for Lucas, even in high school. When you two were partners years ago, she still had a crush on him, “then we definitely should go. Are you getting back into pairs with him?

“Yeah, we’ll do one season together next year.” You have to admit, you are excited to get back into the practice with one of your best friends. 

“I’ll definitely have to brush up on my ballet lessons and I was always a bit too shaky during lifts. Our instructions used to say if I don’t look comfortable during lifts on the stable ground, I can’t expect to look good while I’m being lifted and Lucas is still skating. I trust Lucas a lot more now so I think it’ll go well,”

“Jungkook will love that.”

You take a bite of your chicken sandwich with a heavy sigh, “He’ll live...”

“Uncle,” Yona sits with her little brother in the back seat while they wait for Jungkook to finish pumping the gas, “why does your friend look so grumpy? Doesn’t he want to go skating with us?”

Jimin glances back at Yona and smiles, thinking of how he should explain Jungkook’s situation. “He’s just upset, he’s fine.”

“What is he upset about?” Jimin hesitates for a moment but Jungkook signals that he’s running inside for something.

“Well,” He turns to face her, “can you keep a secret?” She eagerly nods. “Kookie is a little sad because he misses his girlfriend.”

“Oh, what happened to her?” Yona frowns, fearing what Jimin might say.

“Nothing happened to her, he’s okay, they just haven’t seen each other in a long time,” He rakes his brain, trying not to say too much about Jungkook’s love life, “but it’s okay, he’s alright. Just try to understand, he’s not trying to be a grump, he’s just a big teddy bear who pretends to be tough when he’s sad,” He grins, “but don’t tell him I said that.”

“Oh,” She nods adorably, pitying Jungkook, “I won’t,”

in the nick of time, Jungkook comes back with a receipt and mumbles something about the poor management in the convenience store. Jimin notices how Yona looks at him with sympathetic eyes but Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too wrapped up in his phone to see that a 9-year-old is pitying his dysfunctional love-life.

It doesn’t take long before the four of them arrive at the skating rink and Jimin is helping, Juda, Yona’s sleepy 5-year-old brother out of the car. Yona takes the liberty of escorting her self out and walking over to Jungkook.

“Hi,” She looks up at him, not even a little intimidated by his towering stature over herself.

Jungkook looks around, as if she’s talking to someone else. “Hi,” He gives her a small wave, “it’s Yona, right?”

“Yes,” She nods, walking by his side, “uncle said your girlfriend skates, do you skate too?” 

Jungkook mentally cringes, bracing himself for whatever Jimin told this little girl about his personal life. “No, I’m a boxer, she’s the skater.”

“Ahh, ice skating is prettier than boxing, you should ice skate too,” She looks back at Jimin and Juda walking side by side, wondering if she should walk with them or stay with Jungkook. Just when she was about to further judge Jungkook’s life choices, Jimin and Juda catch up. Jimin leads the four of them to the skate rental booth where Jungkook avoids eye contact with the girls behind the counter. It’s hard enough to be in your environment, let alone be surrounded by couples and families skating to their hearts content. It’s not the same without you, it doesn’t feel like he should even be trying to enjoy himself after what he did to you.

Jimin and the kids get their skates on, but Jungkook tells them to go ahead without him. The more he sits here, the less he wants to be here.

*

“We decided to come and skate for a little bit, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your invitation, I didn’t think I’d be able to come.” You and Harmony skate out onto the ice.

Lucas stands at the edge of the rink, smiling. “It’s okay, I’m here with my family so don’t sweat it, hey! You wanna practice a routine, for old time sake?”

“There are way too many people to be practicing a routine. Besides, I’m already sore from practice yesterday.”

“Where’s your boyfriend? I thought you told me he skates with you sometimes,” He skates a circle around you, a toothy grin on his face, “I want to meet him.”

“He was busy,” You lie. You don’t know where Jungkook is or what he’s doing, “It’s just us.″

Somehow, he believes you and skates off with his family while you breathe.

“You lie,” Harmony shakes her head as if to say shame on you.

“What was I supposed to say? I’m not gonna burden him with my personal problems.”

You two go back and forth until she surrenders, claiming she’ll leave you a Jungkook’s relationship out of her mouth for the rest of the day. You highly doubt she can but you appreciate the effort. 

Nononononono—why is he here? And blonde. Your eyes widen, your palms get sweaty, just seeing him affects you. You’ve missed him. Judging by the way he’s sitting on the bench with his skates beside him, he looks sad. Who is he here with? 

”Y/n, Harmony, hey!” Jimin skates over to you with two little kids by his side, they’re so cute. “What’re you two doing here?”

”Jimin? Hi, fancy meeting you here, we decided to come last minute,” You’ve connect the dots now, “who are these two cuties?”

“I’m babysitting my niece and nephew,” He holds both of your hands and the both of them say a shy little greeting, “say hello guys,”

“Hi,” Yona waves at you two and you greet her with a bright smile.

Jimin glances back at Jungkook who has yet to notice you. “Y/n, can I talk to you for a minute?” You nod.

“Harmony can you please watch them for a second?”  “Me? Um, I guess but-”

You skate to the edge of the rink and Jimin follows, you already anticipating what this conversation is about.

“Jungkook is here.”

“I know, I saw him,” You deadpan.

“Look, I know what happened between you guys and he probably doesn’t want me to say this, but he’s been the biggest bitch since you two split, I’ve never seen him so at odds with himself.”

“What am I supposed to do about that? That’s not my fault.” You frown.

“I’m not saying that you need to do anything,” Now he understands what Jungkook meant about your infamous tone. “I just wanted to let you know, I figured you haven’t talked.”

“I’m sorry,” You hold your face in your hands, “I’m not trying to be mean, I just have a lot on my mind and I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with him today.”

“Maybe you two can talk, I’m not saying you should get back together but maybe talking face to face will help you find common ground?”

That’s advice that you know you should take but the thought of talking to him makes your stomach uneasy. It’s easier to ignore him, erase him from your life while you figure out what you want. You’re very childish in the aspect of talking things out, he is too.

“Here he comes,” Jimin looks over at Jungkook who is slowly approaching you two, “I’ll give you two some space-”

“Jimin, I swear, if you did this on purpose!-” Your threat is cut short when he skates away and Jungkook skates up to you. As if you don’t even see him, you quickly skate away, uninterested in anything he might have to say.

Jungkook knows he can’t possibly out-skate you. He mumbles a few curses before skating over to Jimin and the kids as frustrated as ever. For a moment, he almost changed course because Harmony, his biggest hater, is with them and she is one of the last people he wants to see.

“Jungkook, hey,” Jimin sighs, dreading the angry frown in Jungkook’s brows, “I’m glad you decided to-”

“Did you know she was here?” Jungkook cuts straight to the punch, not paying any mind to Harmony whose staring at him as if he’s a mass murderer.

“No,” Jimin shrugs, voice low in order not to alarm the kids who are skating near by, “you know I would have told you.”

“I’ll be in the car.” He skates off, anxious to get off the ice but he’s stopped when another skater bumps into his shoulder.

“Sorry!-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook shrugs, but just when Jungkook was about to leave the guy gives him a weird look. 

“Wait, what’s your name? You look so familiar,”

“Jungkook,” He responds with a bit of impatience, “I don’t think I know you from anywhere, sorry-”

“You’re Y/n’s boyfriend! She showed me some of her pictures pictures,” Lucas smiles but Jungkook’s eyes darken, “I’m Lucas, we’re competing in pairs again next season, I’m sure she’s told you.”

“Oh, I didn’t know, probably slipped her mind,” You haven’t mentioned it on purpose. Then again, how could you? You haven’t talked in weeks.

Just when he thought this day couldn’t get any worse, he meets your partner, and he’s not ugly,

“She said you couldn’t come because you were busy, did you come to surprise her?”

“Something like that- I’m sorry, I gotta go.”

“Okay, well...nice to meet you,” Lucas waves him off but Jungkook doesn’t pay him any mind. 

He thought this might go differently, why did he think that? As soon as he saw you, that tug in his heart came back, that desire to be around you came back. When you walked away, it made him feel like crap, you didn’t even want to look at him.

While he’s skating off to the side to leave the rink, he sees you taking off your personal skates and putting them in their bag. Of course, your caddie is right next to where his heavy black boots are. He enters the room opens the caddie with the little pass-code they gave him when he rented the skates. You spare him a glance as you tie your sneakers and he sits to get his shoes on.

“Did you have to ignore me like that?” He decides to speak up.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You frown, “I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“Since when did you start caring where I go?” He bites back. “You’ve been ghosting me for fucking weeks and suddenly I’m not allowed to go out?”

“I didn’t want to see you...I was doing so good, I was forgetting about you.” You lean back, not giving him eye contact.

”Wow, just what I wanted to hear,” He thought you would say something like that but he didn’t expect you to be so blunt. 

“You can’t say you’re surprised, can you?”

“No, but the least you can do is talk to me.”

”Fine, that’s fair. What do you have to say?” You stand to your feet, your bag tight in your hand/

”Believe it or not,” He gets up to lean on the wall behind him, “I love you, so I'm letting you drag me along and make all of the rules but I’m just asking that you communicate with me, I need to know what you want,” He tends to ask this question when he’s most desperate for your good side to emerge.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want? I’m not the one going around making decisions that hurt our relationship, not recently anyway.” You throw a jab at him, you couldn’t contain it anymore.

“If you’re trying to make me feel like shit, you’ve succeeded. You’ve been succeeding for weeks now, it’s actually starting to get to me, mentally.” As he says that, an unsuspecting few individuals come in to get there things.

“Can-” You pause and walk over to him to eliminate the awkward distance, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

His spirits brighten a little because at least you’re interested in continuing the conversation, you haven’t even attempted to do that until now. So when he stutters out an “okay”, his feet move as soon as yours do. He’s walking right next to you and you find yourself keeping your arms crossed, away from his hands that you would normally be holding. By the time you walk out to the rink, Jimin is still with the kids and Harmony is gone, probably in the restroom. You find a secluded area near the concession area and take a seat, he does the same right across from you. 

“Do you want to break up?” 

He puts it out there. He’s never been the one to hesitate, especially when his heart is on the line.

“What do you mean?” You swallow, not expecting to be confronted with that question.

He almost scoffs because you’re having a similar reaction to his reaction to you telling him you wanted to take a break.

“Do you not want to be in a relationship anymore? If this isn’t something you’re willing to do anymore, I need you to tell me so I can grieve in peace...I feel really lost right now.”

“Grieve? I’m not going to die if we break up, Jungkook, and I never said I wanted to break up—I never said I didn’t love you either. That’s not what this is about, it’s not about whether we love each anymore, it’s about trust.” 

“How can I gain your trust?”

You look around, making sure no one is listening in on you two before mumbling out your answer. “I don’t know...I just don’t trust you, I can’t tell you how to make it up to me because people who screw me over, I normally stay as far away from them as I can.”

All you can think about is the lies from your birth-mother, the betrayal and humiliation that came over you when you found out about your ex. Situations like that always come to mind when the subject of trust is mentioned. You’ve been hurt and Jungkook knows that, he knows when you feel like you can’t trust someone, you shut down. You want nothing to do with that person, your pain blinds you—its your character flaw.

“You’re lucky I’m even talking to you right now,” You mumble, nibbling at your bottom lip.

“Yeah, I know.” He scoffs, a look of disbelief that turns into an understandable shrug of his shoulders. 

“I’ve always thought of you as someone I didn’t deserve, you know that,” He glances down at his twiddling fingers, “when we got together, you changed me and I’m so grateful for that...I was such a shitty person before I met you- I mean, I’m sure you think I’m shitty now but I was way worse.” It surprises you when you see tears welling at his eyes that he quickly wipes away, tattooed fingers getting a bit wet.

“Jungkook,” You lay a hand over his with sympathetic eyes, “I still love you.”

“Seriously?” He glances up at you, surprised. 

“Yes...You hurt me, you made me feel stupid and I’m not over it...But I never forget those times where I made life difficult for you, you never made me feel irredeemable. No matter how awful I acted, you never made me feel like a burden. That’s more than I can say about a lot of people in my life.”

The more you talk this out with him, the more you realize how harshly you’ve been treating him. It doesn’t change how you feel about your relationship, but it does open your eyes to the standard you’ve been holding him to. You don’t know if you’re ready to start again.

“Well, I have to be honest with you,” He looks at you through his dirty blonde locks, “it still hurts like hell to have you treat me like a stranger. That shit is painful, even for me.”

“I’m sorry,” You murmur out an apology before you can really think about it, “I’m just upset at you is all...” Slowly, you take your hand off of his and your eyes wander back to his dear-like eyes. 

“Everyone’s telling me I should let you go but I don’t want to. I just need to know that you’re willing to wait for me, and to work on yourself...”

“I’ll do anything, I’ll do whatever it takes for us,”

Shortly after that day, you found yourself thinking more and more about your future. It made you cringe at one point, what were you planning to do with the rest of your life? Whatever you planned to do, you always imagined Jungkook would be by your side. Now, you’re coming to terms with the fact that things may not go as planned.

“Y/n, are you ready?” Lucas calls your name from outside of the dressing room.

”What are you doing in here? This is the woman’s locker room,” You open the door, now fully dressed in your new leotard.

”We’re the only ones here,” Lucas stands with a matching outfit, far less sparkly as yours.

”Why does she always pick these leotards for me? You always get the toned down looks-” You walk over to the mirror, furrowing your brows, “Oh, actually, this one is kinda nice.”

“She knows you’re the most dramatic out of the two of us, maybe that’s why,” He shrugs his shoulders before quickly running back out into the ballet studio. Your least favorite part of your career is the ballet lessons, it’s the most grueling.

“Come on out, Y/n, we only have the studio for the morning so we need to use our time wisely.”

“Sorry,” You walk out with an urgency, “the costume fits okay, a little snug but it’s doable.”

Coach gives you a knowing look, she’s been floating the idea of a diet around. As committed as you are to your craft, dieting is one thing you don’t think you need to do well. You try to stay fit but sometimes you’re more concerned about your dwindling love life than you dress size. The ballet instructor emerges from around the corner and you cringe, the next few hours are about to be painful. 

Yet, as the class progresses, your thoughts drift farther from the positions and you find yourself zoning out completely.

*

*

At one point in time, you couldn’t imagine being without Jungkook. Out of all of the people who’ve come and gone out of your life, he stayed. He became your best friend and your first love.

“I don’t want to be here anymore, please, just let me go home,” You sat on the hotel room floor, hair pin in your hands and a painfully cold ice bag on your ankle, “...I can’t go back out there.”

She stands with crossed arms, her unchanging expression not doing anything for your emotional state.”Y/n, you are a professional, and do you know what professionals do?”

”No.”

“They finish the competition, no matter what. You need to stay for the judging, “

“Why? I fell on my biggest jump on live television. Cindy. I look like an amateur...There’s no way in hell they’ll even consider placing me. That means I’m done for, I might as well kiss nationals goodbye.”

”That was the last program, you still have a chance-“

”Not after Charlotte’s routine! You said it yourself, I had to be flawless or Charlotte would take my spot in the qualifying team, there was no room for error. This is the one time it had to be perfect...” You use the bed to help you up and you sit down n the edge of it.

”It won’t be perfect every time. You work harder than any girl I know, and not just in this sport, you work hard at whatever you do and you support yourself, you’re the only girl I know who’s parents aren’t paying for you to be here. You deserve to be here, you made one mistake, one. It’s not the end of the world, sweetheart,” Cindy takes a seat beside you, a comforting hand going to your shoulder, “these things happen.”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm down and think rationally. Cindy is trying her best to talk you off of the ledge but you’re very much still there. She says you work so hard, but what do you have to show for it? You’re doing this alone a majority of the time. Your family only comes to support you sometimes, they don’t have a lot of free time to spend on your hobby. Your iceskating is a glorified hobby to them, they won’t say it but it’s true. After they told you to pick a major and find a good paying 9-5, they stopped paying for your iceskating. They’re paying for school but that’s it, you’re supporting yourself in every other aspect. That gave you all the reason to try to prove to them that you were an exceptional athlete. To prove to them that you did it all on your own, that’s your only goal. Yet, the more you reach for that, the farther you get from it.

”Listen, I need to check on the other girls, alright? I hope you reconsider.” She pecks your forehead, a motherly affection that you’ve come to appreciate from her. She is like a mom in some ways. She cares for the entire team, and she would never say it, but she has a particular soft spot for you. She can see how much you want this, how the ice can take you to a different place.

You were meant to do this, she always tells you that. She saw the fire in you as soon as she accepted you on her team. Your passion attracted her to you, you never stopped, you had so much drive. Some people are meant to fight tooth and nail for what they want, sometimes you have to ask yourself, why do I have be one of those people?

Ignoring your better judgment, you packed your bags and took the 2-hour drive back to your apartment. All while you were fleeing the city to seek refuge at home, you received multiple phone calls from Jungkook but you couldn’t bring yourself to call him back. When you got home, you took off your tracksuit and sank face first into your coach. 

As much as you wanted Jungkook to come to the competition, you insisted that he stay and take that job. He hasn’t been boxing as much so any extra art job he can take, you encourage him to take it. He told you he’d streamed the competition while working on the mural at a nearby bar. His heart sank when you took that fall.  You put hours of practice into that routine and perfected it, he had seen you do it flawlessly several times. 

All he wanted to do was hug you and tell you that you did well but all he could do was hope that you weren’t beating yourself up. He could only imagine how devastated you were and to not be able to be there for you, he couldn’t stand it. He finished up the mural and you had finally texted him saying, ‘I came home early.’ He went straight to your apartment with the big pink bunny he bought for you, you need it even more now.

”Hey, it’s me,” He opened the front door and announced himself softly and walks further inside. 

The television barely illuminates the living room but he sees you laying on the couch. He sits the bunny down behind the couch so you can’t see them before walking around to greet you in your depressing state.

“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow, baby,” He rests a hand on thigh and kisses your cheek, “you must’ve known how much I was missing you,” His attempt to make you smile goes painfully unnoticed. 

He bites at his bottom lip in thought. “Did something happen?...”

You swallow the lump in your throat and finally look him in the eyes, “Did you watch my second program?” 

“I did, you looked beautiful-”

“I’m quitting.”

He turns his whole body to you, brows deeply furrowed like a cartoon character. “What?”

You cover your face with a pillow, successfully hiding your tears, “I’m calling Cindy to tell her I don’t want to do it anymore, I quit.”

“Woah, wait, why?” He takes the pillow from you to see your face, “Y/n, calm down, what’s going on? Tell me what happened.”

“I- I didn’t make the national team, that was my only chance until next year. All my hard work went down the drain and everyone saw me screw up..” You wipe your tears with your sleeve.

“Hey, it’s okay, you cry if you need to,” He pulls you into a hug, cradling your head to his chest, “I know this is tough for you but it’s not the end of the world, it’ll get better.”

You pull away from him as if he were suddenly hot to the touch and bury your face into the arm of the couch. “You wouldn’t understand, the pique of my career was riding on this, and I blew it. It feels like the end of my world, okay?” 

You know your words are muffled by the couch, that’s probably for the better anyway. “T- that’s just how I feel...” 

He doesn’t pry any further after that. He knows there’s not much he can say to change your mind right now. Instead, he scoots closer to your side and places a comforting hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he waits for you to continue.

“I have nothing if I lose this, there’s all this pressure on my shoulders and its tearing me apart...” You turn to wipe your face and sit up. “I love skating, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do...if I stop, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You’ll never forget that night. 

He lifted you into his lap and kept his arms tight around you. “You’re so much more than just your skating. You’re so good at but it’s not all that you are.” Jungkook has a way of talking you off of the edge but that night, you were especially down on yourself.

“Yes it is...” 

“No it’s not,” He sighs, “look, I know what it feels like to find your identity in something and then all of a sudden, that something is gone...When my portfolio got rejected, I felt like a failure. My family never got behind the boxing thing, so I’ve always tried to find another way to support myself just in case for whatever reason it doesn’t work out...I didn’t start realizing that until recently. I’m constantly torn between giving up one dream for the other but I want to do both, you actually inspire me to do both.” You furrow your brows, briefly abandoning your own issues to listen to him. 

“You work so hard and you’re showing your family that you can do this, you just have to believe in yourself, and you know what? You’re doing amazing. Tonight was just a bad night, it happens.” He squeezes you tight and you do the same, arms fastened around his neck as if it would kill you to let go.

You didn’t need to say anything after that. You settled your mind and you were no longer at the edge, you were still close, but not there. With your head resting over his shoulder, you try to peek over the couch to see what he dropped back there when he walked in.

“Hey, what’d you think you’re doing?” Jungkook leans forward and your grip around him is loosened so you can no longer look back there. “You think I got something for you?”

You look down a bit embarrassed that he caught you, “Well, yeah...you did,  didn’t you?” You smile for the first time tonight and he breathes a sigh of relief. Finally.

He was going to tease you for wanting your gifts even though you just had a meltdown. But how could he? He wants to keep this smile on your face for as long as possible.

“Sit,” He lifts you off his lip and back to your previous seat on the couch, “no peeking.”

You hold your hands over your eyes, excited even thought have no idea what it might be.

“Okay, open.”

When you move your hands to see you squeal in excitement. “Oh, Jungkook! It’s so cute!” You stand up to take the pink bunny that’s almost more than half your size. “Thank you,” You lean into him with the bunny between you two, “it’s so big and soft, like you.”

“Yeah I know,” He sways from side-to-side with you in his arms, “you feeling better?”

You muffle your sigh into the stuffed animal, “I still wanna quit.”

“Oh stop,” He pulls the from your grip and tosses it onto the couch, “you’re just being bratty now,”

“No I’m not,” You whine, the issue still very fresh, “I’m still sad...I just really like my gift and I’m happy to see you...But I am still upset.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” He lays on the couch and beckons you into his arms to lay on his chest, “let’s cuddle you until you feel better then, will that help?” 

“Maybe...”  

You’d be lying if you said you could live without that side of him.

*

A few days later, you’re surprised you hadn’t heard from him. But when you get back from the gym with a missed call from him and a solemn text to  ‘call back when you can’, you actually call him back.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothings wrong. Thank you for calling me back.” 

His voice sounds relaxed but a bit anxious.

“Did you need something?” You sigh, pouring your boiling water in your mug.

“Are you free to go with me somewhere at 11? And then maybe, we could grab dinner? Just-...Don’t be mad, please.”

Anxiety bubbles in your chest.

“What’re you talking about?”

“I signed us up for couples therapy.”

“You did what?” Somewhere in your mind, you had wanted him to bring this up—you never imagined that he actually would.

”You said we don’t know how to work on ourselves together, I read that therapy helps with that. Will you go with me? If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again I swear.”

“Jungkook...I appreciate the effort, I really do, but how did you find this therapist? Do you trust them?”

”Of course. He has great reviews online and my-...Well, my mom found him actually.”

You pause, a bit taken aback. He talked to his mom about your relationship and he took her advice about seeing a therapist? He must have really taken your words to heart about getting help.

“Can you pick me up?”

“Sure, I’ll be there in 20.”

When he picked you up, you were reminded just how well he could clean up. Sure, he always dresses so well and smells amazing, but he’s different today—you can tell he put in a lot of effort. You’re glad you decided to do your makeup and where a nice sundress, you would have felt terribly under-dressed.

“Hi, how can I help you?

“Hi, we have an appointment for Jeon at 5, with Seojoon.”

You stand next to Jungkook at the front desk, your hands tightly clutching your purse. It’s hard to not think the woman is judging you and Jungkook for being here. She’s probably seen hundreds of people come into this office but something in you can’t shake the feeling. She directs you two to the waiting room and says he’ll come get you two in a few minutes.

“So,” You begin, glancing at Jungkook, “I’m nervous...” 

“Me too.” This is new for the both of you. In only a few seconds, who you assume to be Seojoon emerges from the hallway and you look at him a bit wide-eyed. 

“Hi, Jungkook, Y/n, are you two ready?” 

“Oh, um, yes.” You stand up in sync with Jungkook, already wanting to run out of here but you resist.

You have to admit that the office is really nice, not stiff and sterile looking, the energy is very calming. Seojoon opens the door to a cozy-looking room with tons of natural sun light. There’s warm-rose colored couch that you assume is for ‘the couple.’

“Alright, you can take a seat right there, make yourselves comfortable.” He smiles, taking a seat and you two do the same.

“So let’s get right into it. What brought you two here today? If you could both tell me your separate answers, that would be great.” Despite Seojoon looking at you directly to presumably go first, you divert your eyes and look at Jungkook to say something first.

“Well, we’re- I think we’re going through a lot right now and I just want to save our relationship.” Jungkook sits back, resting against the arm of the couch as he gazes at you to give your answer.

“What about you, Y/n?”

You glance down at your lap, feeling very out of your comfort zone and not confident enough to verbalize what you would like to say. Alas, you try.

“I feel the same way, we’re not in a good place and I’m confused about what to do-...I just want what we used to have.” You confess a bit of your true feelings but ignore the longing look Jungkook gives you.

“When did you start feeling like the relationship was changing?”

“Fairly recently. We were fine, at least I thought we were until I saw him with another girl back in an old lifestyle that I thought he gave up...”

Seojoon diverts his attention away from you and to Jungkook. “Jungkook, do you want to share a little bit about that?”

“Not really,” He answers honestly at least.

“Why not?”

“To be honest, I don’t know why she keeps throwing the same jab at me. I’ve told her the truth but she doesn’t want to hear it. I went out that night,” He almost glares at you, “I didn’t plan to. I ran into an old friend and I just-...I thought it was harmless and I got caught up...” 

Seojoon scribbles something down. “Okay, so can you fill me in a little bit. Are we talking about unfaithfulness? Addiction?”

“Unfaithfulness,” You interject. “he said he didn’t cheat on me but...” You mumble, your confidence faltering for some reason. “It’s hard to believe that.”

“But you think he did so you have some distrust. Were you unfaithful, Jungkook?”

“It doesn’t matter if I say I did or I didn’t, she thinks I did.” He shrugs.

”Y/n,” Seojoon puts an end to the death stare you had on Jungkook, “can you tell Jungkook what cheating looks like to you?”

”Not sleeping with her doesn’t mean you didn’t cheat on me. Letting her put her hands on you- And I don’t care if it was just a kiss! You shouldn’t have been in that situation, and for me to have to see it on social media? I could have killed you I was so mad. You should ask Jungkook what cheating is to him. We obviously have different standards for defining it...”

”What does cheating look like to you, Jungkook?” He heeds your suggestion without any push-back.

”To me,” He hesitates, feeling a bit scrutinized, “it’s when a person violates the intimacy of the relationship by giving it to someone else.”

“What kind of intimacy?”

“Emotional, physical, every kind,” He turns to you, “I wouldn’t do thingst that I do with Y/n with anyone else, not by choice-”

“Yes you would! You did...Are you trying to tell me that you were assaulted? That she forced her way on you?”

“I was blitzed! I don’t fucking know. All I do know is that she got on top of me and I pushed her off. That’s it. I swear, if anything else happened, I don’t remember it.”

“I don’t care. You know what I’ve been through, to even allow another girl to even get close to touching you like that...It was a slap in the face.”

Seojoon’s ears perk up at the mention of your past. “Did you have to go through a similar situation in a previous relationship?” 

“Yes and he knows this. I was being cheated on before and the guy had a literal baby on the way throughout our entire relationship...It was traumatizing.” It stings his ears to hear you say that. But it’s true, he knows your past and he didn’t let it stop him. 

“What happened must have triggered you,” You nod to yourself, “but you’re here to try to work through forgiveness and build trust. If you two are comfortable with it, I’d like you do do two exercises; one here and one when you’re alone. The first one that you’ll do here, I need you to face each other, preferably close, and I have some questions for you two to ask each other.”

“Like this?” Jungkook answers instantly and turns to you, getting closer to you than he has in weeks. You face him slowly, eyes wavering a bit. His face has always been a soft-spot for you, staring at him makes you feel weak.

“Actually,” Seojoon stands up, gesturing for you to do the same, “two chairs might be more comfortable, yeah? Let’s go to my other room.”

You follow Seojoon to a small room with three chairs a small table in front of them. Jungkooks pulls seat out so they’re facing each other. When you look up to acknowledge him with deliberate eye-contact, for a moment he thinks you might be softening. 

“I want you all to start with ‘I’ statements, tell your partner how you feel or how you felt in this case. Try to maintain eye-contact and truly listen to each other.”

“I’ll go first,” You volunteer because you want to get this over with.

“I feel alone and helpless when you go back to your old habits, I feel like you’re hiding things from me...” You find a way to keep your eyes-locked to his. 

“I’m not asking you to be perfect but I just want you to make me feel special to you...Like you wouldn’t dream of being with someone else. Because I don’t think of loving anyone else, and trust me I’ve tried to imagine it but I can’t,” You bite your cheek to keep from crying, “you make it so hard to trust you. You don’t listen and you don’t change until it’s too late.” 

Being emotionally inept is something you are both too good at. It’s difficult for you to share your true feelings with a clear mind, but when you do, you can never guess what will happen next. 

“I feel trapped by you. I know I fucked everything up, okay? You don’t have to keep reminding me.” His tone is harsher than you anticipated. 

“I’m trying to put in the fucking effort to help us, and I’m giving you time. But when you tell me you still want me but you won’t even let me come around, it’s confusing. You’re confusing, that’s just how I feel.” His brows furrow and you notice Seojoon watches the exchange intently.

“But I miss you and I want you back, I don’t want to take a break,” He leans forward with his hands firmly gripping your knees over your dress, “I know you think I’m an asshole but I try to change, I’m trying, you know I wouldn't bring you to this if I could think of any other way to prove that to you.” The strain in his voice only stirs more emotions inside of you. 

“Jungkook,” Seojoon calls his name softly and Jungkook looks over as if he forgot he was there, “try not to engage in any physical, okay? It can be overwhelming.”

“Sorry,” He takes his hands from you and sits back, “that’s all I want to say.” 

“Alright, well, um,” Seojoon clears his throat, eager to break the tension up a little bit, “unfortunately our session is up but I want to give you two a list of exercises and talking points. I know this was a consultation appointment but I want to give you some things to work on at home. I’ll have Kelly type up your homework, alright?”

“Okay, thank you,” you both thank the therapist but you get up with an urgency and leave the room before Jungkook can follow you. When you make it out to the waiting room, you spot the bathroom and you bolt to it. Before you have to spend a car ride with him, you need to get your emotions together. 

“Mr. Jeon,” The receptionist calls him from the hall, “this is for you, you can bring it back to the next appointment for a discount.” Jungkook halfheartedly thanks her before going to the car. He doesn’t even know if there will be another session. He needs to smoke before you come out and you’ll freak if he smokes while you’re in the car. 

“Why did I come here...” You look at the mirror and frown, you look so rough. It was nice to get everything out in the open but you knew he’d get intense eventually. Only when the toilet flushed did you remember that there were multiple stalls in here. When you look away from the mirror to fumble through your purse, just trying to avoid talking to her. 

”Hi, how are you?”

“I’m okay, how are you?”

“Oh god, nervous, I’m nervous. Me and my husband, we’re newly weds, our appointment is in five minutes and I really don’t know what to expect. Did you have an appointment with your partner?”

“I did,” You sigh, “it was-...It was fine, don’t be nervous.” In your attempt to comfort her, you find your self in a highly hypocritical position. “Me and my boyfriend, we’re different so ours was a little- A little chaotic but I think it helped a little,” You hesitate, “I don’t know.”

“That makes me feel a little better, hopefully my husband behaves himself,” She tosses her wavy brown hair over her shoulder and smiles, “well, it was nice meeting you.”

It takes you a moment but you gather the strength to wave goodbye and go face your boyfriend.

”Excuse me, Miss, I think your husband forgot to grab this.” The receptionist waves you over and hands you a little folder.

”Oh,” You try to hide the blush forming on your cheeks.  he’s not my- We’re not married.” 

”Oh, I’m sorry! He only put his last name on the appointment so I thought it was your name as well. Sorry about that, have a great rest of your day.” She bids you farewell with a flustered smile.

When you walk outside, you see Jungkook leaning against the car. You thought he might’ve been smoking but you can’t detect any small. That’s a relief.

”You feeling okay?” He questions gently. 

You nod, hopping in the car with the desire to be home already. He gets in the car and glances at you from the corner of his eye, he worries that this might have been too much for you. 

“Where do you want to eat?” 

“There’s a ramen place down the street, that’s fine with me.” You suggest, eyes trained on your phone.

The air in the car isn’t tense or stiff, its just quiet. There’s a lot to unpack from the session and you figured Jungkook was thinking through it too. That’s why when you two arrived at the ramen shop, took your seats, and placed your orders, the silence was getting to be a bit too awkward for you.

“I like the new hair, you’ve never gone this blonde before,” You glance up at him, trying to start a conversation, “it looks good.”

“Thanks, it was an impulsive thing. I heard you decided to get back into pairs,” He brings the coke to his lips, “I was surprised to hear that.”

“Oh, yeah,” You figured he would find out soon, “I’m back with Lucas for the season.”

“Good for you,” That’s not a reaction you were expecting from anti-pairs-skating Jungkook. Then again, you know him well enough to know that he’s probably keeping his true opinion to himself.

“The receptionist gave this to me,” You pull the paper out of your purse and show it to him, “I think it has additional information.”

“Let me see,” You hand it to him, “hm, soul-gazing? What the hell is that...” He reads over the description and it makes him giggle. “Nonverbal communication between lovers, allows couples to explore intimate places in the relationship. We do this already, but it’s a little more than eye contact,” He recalls those dreamy moments that he used to share with you so often, gazing at you with a smile.

“We can try that later maybe,” You avoid his smile with a glance out the window.

“Okay. So, about the session today, I hope you understood where I was coming from...I didn’t expect to say all that, I’m sorry if it was too much.”

“Don’t apologize, I wanted to hear how you felt.”

“I’m sorry,” He extends a hand out on the table, hoping you’ll take it, “I’ve thought about what I’ve done and I’ve tried to repent for it. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you. But just tell this once, you miss us, don’t you?”

“I do, Jungkook...It’s just, I’m in a tough spot and I don’t- I don’t want to disappoint anyone or myself.”

“You’re talking about your friends or your family?” He frowns at the thought of either party trying to discourage you.

“My family doesn’t know anything about this, it’s my friends who are concerned for me. They saw me get hurt and they don’t want to see it happen again, they want me to be happy.”

“Don’t listen to them, all they do is talk shit about me and try to tell you what you need. The only people who have a say in this relationship is you and me. We choose what makes us happy, not them.”

“But I’m not happy,” And it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still being judged, “I’ve actually been depressed when I think about us, when I think about what we used to have and what we have now, how did this happen?”

“I’m sorry I did this to you,” He sighs when you finally reach out to take his hand, “I never mean to hurt you,”

“I want you back so bad sometimes,” You break, letting your true feelings out to him, “but just because I want it doesn’t mean I should, it’s always been hard for me to separate the two.”

“That never stopped you before,” He flashes that smile, the one you fell so hard for on the roof of his car. 

“Now look where I’m at,” You take your hand back, “going to therapy with you.”

*

*

Jungkook took you home and sunset had passed, it was already dark. You found yourself inviting him in, hugging him longer than you should have when he was on his way out. Why were you holding on to him so tight? His bomber jacket lands on the floor and you relish in his arms, you haven’t felt like this in a long time. Maybe it won’t hurt to let him in, indulge. It doesn’t take long before you let him kiss you for the first time in weeks. It feels new, it can happen a thousand times and it’ll always feel new. 

But then your phone begins to ring and reality washes over you like a cold shower.

“Wait,” You pull away from the kiss and slide off of the counter to his dismay, “I need to get that-”

“Ignore it,” Jungkook cups your jaw, trying to persuade you with longing eyes, “please ignore it-”

“I can’t, it’s my mom, something might be wrong,” You quickly answer the phone and walk into the living room. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at home, is something wrong?”

“You forgot, didn’t you? Your brother Leo, you were supposed to pick him up so he could stay with you for the night. me and your dad had to take Milo to his Taekwondo tournament for the weekend.” Your mother stresses over the phone.

“I’m so sorry! Mom, seriously, I totally forgot,” This is the worst possible timing, “doesn’t Leo have his license, he can drive here, can’t he?”

“We have the car. Don’t worry about it, it’s handled now, his friend came by and he’s staying with him.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how that crossed my mind,” You can’t help but feel as if you’ve disappointed her by forgetting such a simple thing, “I’ve been busy, I’m prepping for the next season, I’m working and in school, it’s a lot right now-”

The conversation  ends with a cold lecture from her and a solemn goodbye when she hangs up. You massage your temples, and look at Jungkook who’s coping with the best part of his day being ruined by a phone call.

“Everything okay?”

“I forgot to pick up my brother, my mom asked if he could crash here but I forgot all about it..”

“When have any of your siblings actually visited you? Except for your sister when she needs a babysitter.” Jungkook always sports a defensive tone when your family comes into the conversation.

“He’s only come over a few times. But he has friends who live over here so that’s normally why,” You take a deep breath. “She sounded frustrated so I know she’s upset.”

”Don’t stress about that,” He comes in close, wrapping his arms around your waist. “your mom shouldn’t beat you up about that, especially since she knows how much you have on your plate.” He smooths down your hair and kisses your forehead gently. That innocent forehead kiss quickly migrated down to your neck and you bite your tongue.

”Jungkook, please,” You get out of his embrace and leave him longing.

"Why do you keep pushing me away? I know you, this isn’t like you. You push me away but never for this long,” He follows you to your bedroom where you kick off your shoes and take off you cardigan. ”If you’re serious about making this work again, you’ve gotta help me out a little here.” 

You feel him looming behind you, so close that you feel the warmth of him on your lower-back, or is that his hand?

“You’re here, aren’t you? I’m being really nice right now,” You step away from him, “but you need to stop.”

“Stop what?” He feigns ignorance.

“If that’s what you were hoping for you should just go,” You pick up his jacket and hand it to him, “it’s not happening.”

“Ok, but do you mind if I stay the night?” 

You stare at him in disbelief for a moment, debating whether or not that’s a good idea.

“Why? It’s not even that late yet.”

“I don’t want to make the drive home, I’ll leave first thing in the morning.” He pleads, those big round eyes helping his case immensely.

“Fine. But you’re on the couch,” He looks a bit disappointed but he was expecting that, “I’m gonna shower, you can wait for me or use the guest bathroom if you want.”

With that, you walk off into your bedroom to get your clothes and then into the bathroom in the hall. Though you hesitated to let him stay, it’s really not a big deal now that you think of it. He’s stayed over more times than you can count so you feel no need to punish him by saying no.

Baby steps. 

Jungkook falls into the couch, relieved and anxious—but mostly relieved. He was sure you were going to throw him out. When he hears the shower turn on, he begins to wonder what you might be thinking about, do you want him the way he wants you right now? If so, you’re hiding it pretty well. Just being in your home makes him feel comfortable and happy, that and your presence. You’ll be a while in the shower so he figures a few moments of relaxation on the balcony won’t hurt. 

*

When you step out of the steamy bathroom, you hug your robe tightly to your body. Curious to see what he’s doing you peek out of the hall and see him on the balcony, shirt nowhere to be seen and smoke wafting from the little stick in his finger. Jungkook has always been a temptation, a forbidden fruit so to speak. You had one bite, and that’s all it took. 

It’s a warm night, that’s probably why he’s showing all of the neighbors his tattooed glory, you giggle to your self at the thought. You run to your room to slip a t-shirt and shorts on so you can join him, you can indulge him in conversation at least.

“Hey, I was going to get a snack,” You open the sliding door and he looks back at you as he exhales a a cloud, “are you hungry?”

“I’m okay,” He puts it out in the ashtray, “thanks,” 

“You didn’t have to put it out for me,” You step onto the patio and close the door behind you.

“I was done anyway,” He says that but he clearly wasn’t, he’s just being sweet, “how was your shower?”

“Good,” You sit beside him, “you can go ahead and shower if you want to, you know where your clothes are.”

“I will in a minute,” He looks out, enjoying the view of the city, “it’s beautiful out here...”

“Yeah,” You smile, reminiscing on the many moments you two have shared together on the balcony.

“So,” Jungkook sighs, probably reminiscing on the same thing, “do you want to do that exercise?...”

“Exercise?- Oh, the eye-contact thing, we can...” You turn to him and he does the same, “so, do we-”

“Shh,” He holds a finger to his lips, “we’re not supposed to talk,” 

You swallow, eyes locked on his and his on yours. His eyes are so dreamy and mesmerizing, they always have been. This eye-contact is giving you a great excuse to analyze his face. The little mole under his lip, his cute nose and cheeks—you’re trying not to look at his body but it’s hard to do that right now. 

He’s doing the same thing to you. Your eyes, nose, lips, he’s just taking it all in as if your a sculpture at a museum. Looking at each other like this reminds you both to see each other, to really see the human you both decided to love.

“Jungkook,” You know you’re not supposed to talk, “don’t cry...” You thumb the tears away from his cheeks, your motherly habits kicking in.

“Shit,” He wipes his cheeks, “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” He’s so emotional, it’s more endearing than anything.

You cup his jaw and kiss the apple of his cheek, then his lips. His hands are almost shaky when he reaches up to hold your face, you lead his hand to your face to let him know that you don’t mind.

“I love you too,” You breath, your head in the nape of his neck, “but I can’t do this, I shouldn’t...”

Once you realize you’re no longer in your own chair but in his, it’s too late to pretend you’re not equally as desperate. It escalates and the best and worst happens. 

[sweet-evie]

what’s your headcanons about the duo? recently i’ve rewatched the resurrection movies and cant help build various scenario in my head.

here’s mine though. Sorry it’ll be super long

• Lelouch found that CC’s hand was always cold so he likes to hold it all the time.

• During their early journey, they’ve decided to bought a trailer. But lelouch cant drive, so CC teach him one.

• CC’s were sensitive to cold but too proud to said it. One night, Lelouch realizes that she’s shaking in their tent and silently takes her in his arm

• He hates when CC talks about the mindless state he was. Not because how useless he is, but because it reminds him of how much a pain she suffers for him. It breaks his heart.

• Lelouch found a woman in desperate need of labor at the forest one day. CC’s expertly help her and deliver the baby successfully. That night, he told her that when CC names that baby girl, he felt like wanted to pick her up and told the entire world of how proud he is for having CC in his side.

• He’s blushed like a pig whenever CC’s mention the word ‘bath’ for he knows she’s seen it all.

• Lelouch good at singing, and CC’s could play ukulele. One day, nunnally visits them in their hideout and found the immortal duo lovingly sang a song together while holding each other close.

• They dont says ‘I love you’ to each other, instead lelouch once declared “If i had to choose one to spent eternity with, I’ll choose you. Not because your loyalty but because i knew life wouldnt be so bored with you”

• Lelouch takes various jobs over the years. He started as a writer for many good years to sponsor their endeavors. Then he learns from Jeremiah to farm. A teacher, doctor, programmer.

• Lelouch found it hard to express his affection towards her so he always opted to talk about their fragment endeavors.

• Until they settle down in a secluded house and found himself the pleasure of sex.

• CC secretly dying for lelouch to kiss her. Not like that she cant, she just want him to be the one who initiate it.

• At one point in their life, CC’s longs for a child they could never have. one day, there’s an orphan baby borns in the hospital he works for and he told her they could adopt him.

• Lelouch would never said it but he could start another rebellion for CC.

• Sometimes during the next movie timeline, CC’s were captured and tortured. She doesnt wakes up for several weeks due to they tamper with her code. When she wakes up, CC found Lelouch kills hundred of them to avenge her.

This is a fanfic all on its own. 🤩 You're tempting me to write things or start stuff I shouldn't because there are other stories that need writing. 🤣 Reading and imagining this made me want to cry because I can totally picture everything in my head.

As a fact, most of yours parallel with mine, mainly these:

He hates when CC talks about the mindless state he was. Not because how useless he is, but because it reminds him of how much a pain she suffers for him. It breaks his heart.

Lelouch takes various jobs over the years. He started as a writer for many good years to sponsor their endeavors. Then he learns from Jeremiah to farm. A teacher, doctor, programmer.

CC secretly dying for lelouch to kiss her. Not like that she cant, she just want him to be the one who initiate it.

Post Re;surrection, here's my headcanons 😉

C.C. is the one making the living during the early days of their Geass hunt, mostly because Lelouch needs to stay hidden.

C.C. is the one who reminds Lelouch to call Shirley or at least see her...

They travel mainly by sea or land. No airfares here, considering the nature of airport security.

As well connected to shady people as I think C.C. is, I doubt she has top-level clearance to even sneak into an airport undetected... They could, but it's too much work for their current circumstance and is more trouble than it's worth. One day, they will. But in the beginning of their search, nah.

Lelouch will make sure to procure fake passports, IDs, and everything else.

Wait... On second thought, Lelouch has a Geass. I almost forgot... 🤣 FUCK! I guess they can travel by plane. (I still think it's impractical). But they can only do it if they successfully tie up loose ends along the way.

Lelouch picks up online ghost writing or proofreading as a career once they settle in Switzerland.

All the online money he earns goes to C.C.'s bank account, because he hasn't established a fake one yet.

It bothers him that C.C. is in-charge of their funding.

Lelouch does a financial audit every month. He used to do it bi-weekly, but C.C. told him that over-obsessing about budget is never a good thing.

On a more serious note, I think C.C. cuts back on her pizza eating for the first few years.

C.C. has a subdued personality for the first few months or the first year together with L.L...

Lelouch spends discreet time trying to coax C.C.'s mischievousness out again. He kind'a misses it.

He asks C.C. about his mindless state once in a while, when it's necessary. But he avoids it because he hates how useless he was, and he hates being reminded that he burdened her so.

It takes a while before they end up actually kissing.

They're open to talking about their deep thoughts, but are still a teeny bit hesitant to cross the line to romance. (Even if they're practically married at this point).

They have matching rings. (Not engagement or wedding rings or promise rings. Just matching jewelry -- according to them anyway).

They're fucking married.

Lelouch caught C.C. singing lullabies to him once, because she thought he was falling asleep.

C.C.'s multi-lingual skills will shine.

Lelouch is beginning to think world history on the internet is unreliable. Mostly because of C.C. (That girl is a walking encyclopedia, literally).

C.C. loves surprising Lelouch with random facts about her involvement in some events during history. She does it at the most random times, but mostly when they're on a Geass hunt.

They mouth "I love you" once in a while. They don't say it out loud. Just mouth it... 😍🥰

Hugging... Lots of hugging.

Lelouch eventually replaces Cheese-kun. 👏 It's his greatest achievement yet.

Lelouch and C.C. will cease to exist one day. Especially when all those spare body parts from C's World run out, because Lelouch broke that place. (CG creators, please explain the lore behind the Code and the Geass).

[my-reality-my-rules]

my Naruto DR script (pt. 2)

[extra details]

this one’s mostly on other mundane things and timeline stuff that i didn’t include in my backstory. part 1 here.

mangekyō sharingan

I achieved the mangekyō sharingan when I witnessed my father, Junichiro, get fatally injured on the battlefield. The Uchiha were battling against the Senju. An hour and a half into the fight, Senju Tobirama managed to slip past my father's defenses, and killed him with a fatal stab wound. This happened right before my very eyes, and it was then that I awakened the mangekyō sharingan. The battle ended right there, with both sides calling for a truce at the moment.

eternal mangekyō sharingan

Junichiro managed to live for a few more hours after Tajima called for a retreat from the battle. Since medics were few and far in that period of time, he was slowly dying. My iryō-jutsu wasn't as refined as I wanted it to be, so I couldn't save him. But my father knew I was a genius, in every sense of the word, so he gave me his eyes, which had evolved into its mangekyō state (to mine and everyone else's surprise). It changed at the very last moment, and so he wanted to give it to me. I accepted it, and my sharingan matured once again.

Senju Itama's fate

I had reluctantly saved Senju Itama from his death. Even then, however, it was by pure accident. I had been 6 years old at the time.

I was returning from an assassination mission when I stumbled upon my clansmen cornering a child my age. While I harbored hatred for the Senju, I loathed child-hunters more, especially with what happened to some of my clansmen. So, I had suppressed my chakra and distracted my kinsmen with ninjutsu (since they would easily see through genjutsu), and shunshined Itama out of the area. I made sure to leave no traces of my chakra, so that it wouldn't be tracked back to me. I dropped him off near the Naka river, by the Senju borders, and shushined away, never letting him see my face even once. However, due to being in close proximity to me, he felt my chakra, and recognised it.

Because I saved Itama, I managed to prolong his life. He grew to be a capable shinobi, and even discovered that he possessed the mokuton like Hashirama.

elemental techniques I utilised

MAIN BRANCHES:

EARTH

metalbending

lavabending

bonebending

crystalbending

sandbending

WATER

bloodbending

icebending

healing

FIRE

flame colour variation

lightning bending

combustion bending

AIR

voice manipulation

gas manipulation

• • • • •

SINGLE ELEMENTS

bone regrowth

bone weapons

bone hardening

crystal generation and release

earthquake

earth pillars

craters/levelling

metalbending

lavabending

water tendrils

water rope

ice spheres/ice shield

ice cage

ice spikes

ice pillars

ice wheels

ice wall

blood crystals

blood control

blood clotting

blood bursts

bodily fluid possession

blood regeneration

skin regeneration

muscle regeneration

lightning generation and release

lightning tags/lightning seals

blue fire wheel

blue fire shield

fire blades

fire wall

jet propulsion

MIXED ELEMENTS

advanced jet propulsion (air + fire/air + water)

bastardised mokuton (air + water + earth)

bastardised magnet release (air + fire + water + earth)

poison dome (air + water)

poison field (air + water + earth)

age differences

Hashirama is 1 year older than Madara. Tobirama and Izuna are the same age, and are 2 years younger than Madara. Kawarama was 1 year younger than the two of them. Itama and I are the same age, 2 years younger than Kawarama.

in comparison to the others:

me = 17

Itama = 17

Kawarama = 19

Izuna/Tobirama = 20

Madara = 22

Hashirama = 23

monikers

Some of the monikers that I've earned over my career as a ninja:

Mind Eater — reference to (my) sharingan abilities

Mind Thief — reference to (my) sharingan abilities

Corpse Puppeteer — reference to (my) sharingan abilities

Blood Demon — Hama that shit

Kyō of the Blue Flames — inspired by Azula

[prurientpuddlejumper]

Being Fake Soulmates with Dr. Chilton (Part 6)

<- Part 5

Frederick Chilton x Reader | The Good Place crossover

Final chapter! Warning: The Good Place spoilers, and a timeline that makes perfect sense because Jeremy Bearimy, baby. 

2,800 words

“No way. It’s too dangerous!”

“I thought you said we were in this together?” Chilton quirked a brow, eliciting a petulant grumble. You crossed your arms.

“Or maybe you think I’m expendable, so you’re willing to take risks with my life. Afterlife. Whatever.”

Frederick Chilton, who was not, as originally advertised, your soulmate, nonetheless clasped your hand with gentle tenderness. I would never do anything to hurt you is what a normal person would say in that moment, and perhaps his eyes said it, somewhere deep in their searching pools of green. But Dr. Chilton had a repressed way about him, tending toward overly clinical just stating the facts (or the sarcasm). Anything but genuine, vulnerable, sentimentality.

He guided you by your hand to sit down beside him on the baroque loveseat in one of his many living rooms, studies, and salons. After you settled yourself on the velvet cushion, he leaned his shoulder against yours in that quiet way he showed affection.

“After reviewing the town records,” he said, “I believe we may be the only two humans in the neighborhood. Some of the residents are far too dull—Chidi Anagonye, the moral philosophy professor who spent his life writing a single manuscript, Jianyu the silent monk—while others are too perfect—Glen, that one who is constantly volunteering, Tahani, the philanthropist. Real people have flaws, secrets, hobbies. I can only be certain of myself and you.”

“How’d you figure out I’m real?”

“I didn’t. I simply refuse to accept the alternative,” he said with a sad smile, and you began to think Dr. Chilton was sentimental after all.

***

Their voices were muffled even with your ear pressed to the door of Michael’s office—not that it mattered much what they were talking about. You were just waiting for the signal, and at that moment, it came. Their footsteps and voices grew louder as Frederick and Michael approached, and the door handle clicked.

“—which is why cannibalism loses more good-person points than defenestration but fewer than chewing loudly on a crowded bus.”

“Fascinating. I never thought about it that way,” said Chilton, looking genuinely disturbed.

You flattened yourself against the wall next to the door, thinking thin thoughts as the pair exited the office. A tall houseplant barely disguised your presence, and if Michael had any kind of peripheral vision, he would see you standing there plain as day.

But Dr. Chilton spoke animatedly, fixing him with a challenging laser-stare as he asked a probing follow-up question. Locked in Chilton’s eyes, Michael failed to notice the movement just behind his left shoulder as you slipped through the closing door before it could latch shut.

Safe.

Michael’s office was quiet and filled you with serenity in much the same way a teddy bear is filled with stuffing: forcefully and by no will of your own. Like the welcome room with its happy green plants and happy green words on the wall assuring you everything is fine, the office peeled your defenses away. Cream-colored walls yawned out around the perimeter, punctuated with bright windows, a portrait of Doug Forcett (a stoner from the 1970s who guessed, on a mushroom trip, how the afterlife really worked), and various artifacts of humanity enshrined like museum pieces, despite seeming perfectly mundane.

At the top of the room was a large mahogany desk.

Yesterday, Chilton watched Michael put away files in the desk that he wouldn’t let him look at. Chilton was certain they were the key to unraveling the mystery, so he suggested working together—he would distract Michael while you sneaked in to find the files. It was risky, but it might have been your only chance of discovering what was going on, and if there was a way to escape.

You began poking through the desk and found stacks of papers in an unreadable alphabet. The only thing you could read were lyrics to a genuinely terrible song Michael was writing titled “Love Train to the Cosmos.”

The last drawer wouldn’t budge.

Yanking the handle didn’t work. Banging on the side with your fist failed to unstick it. It was locked. Locked drawers were suspicious. The answers had to be in there.

You eyed a mountain of paperclips lovingly displayed on a pedestal labeled “Human Things.” Snatching two off the top, you unbent and re-bent the stiff metal wire, and inserted it into the lock. Faint clicks sounded as you turned and finessed the paperclip, feeling each pin in the tumbler slide into place. Then you gently turned it, and—pop. The drawer opened.

A single manila folder stamped TOP SECRET in threatening red letters rested inside, as if waiting to be found. You picked it up and opened it, and your breath caught. They were reports on “The Good Place.” The Good Place in quotation marks. Reports about you.

A pleasant bing sounded.

Janet materialized in front of the desk. For once, she was not wearing a cheery smile.

***

Frederick Chilton had always been a selfish man. Any opportunity that could advance his career and put him in the spotlight, he would take it no matter who it hurt. “Unorthodox therapy,” he called it in his private chats with Dr. Lecter. They bonded over their shared interest in unorthodox research before he learned Dr. Lecter was a cannibal. That would have been a clue to anybody else that it was time to change his ways, but Dr. Chilton spent the rest of his years just as selfish and petty—more so, even, as his disfiguring injuries gave him more reason for spite.

He could never accept himself as he was.

By the time he died, Chilton was an intolerable asshole who paid back the world’s cruelty with his chronic foul moods and acerbic sarcasm. He kept everyone at a distance.

And yet, here, in death, he found himself worrying over someone else.

The sun was shining in the ever-blue sky, dappled by lush green foliage before reaching the two men as they strolled the neighborhood below. Michael was built like a sapling with longer legs than he knew what to do with, making Chilton nearly jog to keep pace. He had a warm smile and an outgoing demeanor—always flattering Chilton’s ego and asking for his guidance. But something malignant hid behind those smiling eyes, and Chilton’s mind kept rushing back to you, hoping you were OK.

He hoped that you were safe. Not that the plan was going smoothly. That you were safe.

There was a difference, and Dr. Chilton noticed right away that his twitchy nervousness was not wrought of self-preservation. It was a new type of panic—worse than fear for himself, which he never thought possible considering the amount of terror he had experienced on his own behalf.

To distract himself, Chilton threw himself into the role of Michael’s assistant, focusing on his task of supposedly identifying psychological issues causing problems with the neighborhood.

“Our interviews should go in alphabetical order, under the pretense of a survey—a sort of afterlife census—to avoid suspicion. It should be feasible, with only three hundred residents—”

“We know,” Michael said coolly. His voice dropped from the usual friendly, flattering demeanor, slipping off like a mask.

“You know how you are going to handle the interviews? It is imperative the subjects do not suspect they are being studied.” Chilton swallowed, knowing full well that he was talking to the real Michael for the first time.

“Don’t play dumb.” Michael smiled an entirely different type of smile, twisted and clever with no warmth in it. “We’ve been watching you, Dr. Chilton. We knew you would figure it out eventually. It was only a matter of time before you saw through a psychiatric study.”

Chilton’s interest piqued at the same time his blood went cold. He wet his lips. “Is that what all this is, then?”

The pair came to a stone bridge that arched gracefully over a reflection pool. Michael stopped midway across, leaned one of his long, pointed elbows on the railing, and cocked his head at Chilton.

“You haven’t figured it all out yet? That’s disappointing. You humans really are so dense.” His tone was so mean that Chilton took an unconscious step back. Michael only laughed and told him there was no point in running away. “But I think you’ll want to hear what I have to offer,” he promised.

Most of what you had been told about the afterlife was true, Michael explained. There was a real good place, and there was a real bad place where bad people were tortured for all eternity. But the bad place had a problem: it was boring! Humans get used to physical pain after the first few centuries, no matter how creative the punishment.

“Once you’ve flattened a thousand penises, you’ve flattened them all. I’m trying to do something new here. Innovate!” said Michael with an energetic swoop of his hand. “Emotional torture can cause the same level of discomfort, but in a more sustainable and (more importantly) entertaining way. That’s what this neighborhood is for—to study you humans and find out what makes you miserable.”

And then he offered Dr. Chilton something that grabbed his attention. The opportunity to design bad place neighborhoods.

“You are asking me to help implement psychological torture?” Chilton turned over each word cautiously.

“Oh,” Michael scoffed, “Don’t tell me you’re concerned about the ethics? Doctor, I’ve read your file.”

Chilton winced. He had done truly amoral things in the name of discovery—things it made him sick to be reminded of. Strange, though. In the past, he would have been proud to be treated as a peer by a psychopath. Not ashamed.

“Think of it, the glory, the prestige. You would be designing the afterlife for billions of souls. You will be remembered throughout eternity as the man who reformed the bad place!”

“And my soulmate?”

Chilton blurted it without thinking. It sounded so childish and naive, and sure enough, Michael shook his head and had a long chuckle at his expense.

“There’s no such thing! I thought you knew,” Michael slapped his knee. “I made it up so you would torture each other! But once again, I underestimated the human libido. You people all think with your genitals, it’s—it’s gross. Humans are gross.” He made a face. “That’s why I need your help to design a better system. With your understanding of the human mind, we can make condemned souls miserable for thousands of years.”

Chilton couldn’t muster any enthusiasm for this plan, and Michael frowned.

“If it makes you feel any better, consider this the humane option. The alternative is going back to scooping eyeballs out with melon ballers and replacing them with live bees. What do you say, doctor? Join my team.” Michael extended a hand, and Chilton eyeballed it.

“Can my soulmate—”

“Not a soulmate.”

“—come with me?”

“This offer is only open to you.”

“So they will be tortured? Alone? For eternity? In a system I help design?”

“Nothing you can do will change that. They are going to be tortured—the only person you can save is yourself, if you decide to help me.”

Frederick’s brow knit together. He thought about refusing. He really did. Abandoning you seemed unthinkable, especially after your promise to each other to stick together. But he was a selfish creature, and choosing to be punished wouldn’t protect you. If he was lucky, by teaming up with Michael, he could design a more comfortable torture for you one day.

“Maybe this will help make up your mind,” Michael said. “Hannibal Lecter.”

“Lecter?”

“He’s here. In the bad place. So far, he has been especially resistant to traditional torture. I thought you might have a personal interest in taking a crack at him?”

***

On a floating, room-sized projection screen, Frederick Chilton shook Michael’s hand. Your head fell forward, shoulders slumping. The screen flicked off and dissipated into the office air.

“This is the 764th time he has failed,” said Janet, giving a sympathetic simulation of a sigh. “We were sure he was going to make the right decision this time.”

You shook your head. “Fame and glory? Revenge? He’ll never refuse those. Trust me—he died because of them and still never learned his lesson.”

“That is what we’re afraid of. Some people never pass their tests. Fun fact!” she perked up, “Hannibal Lecter’s test is working at a Burger King where he can only cook Impossible Whoppers, and his 19-year-old manager calls him pee-paw. He gets reset every time he eats a customer. His longest record is twelve hours.”

When Janet found you snooping in Michael’s desk, you expected to be dragged away, never to see Frederick again. Instead, she explained everything to you—the truth.

A long time ago, the bad place was exactly how Michael described it—a place where souls were sent to have their orifices filled with spiders for eternity. Then he decided to try something new. Originally, he paired you with Dr. Chilton hoping you would drive each other crazy. But no matter what happened, you kept falling in love. You kept supporting each other, and taking care of each other. The same happened with his other human test subjects—they kept improving and becoming better people than they were on Earth. Eventually, Michael changed, too.

He redesigned the bad place to be a test—a chance for human souls to earn their way into the good place. At the end of each test, you either pass and go to the good place, or your memories are erased and you start over again.

“So, what happens to me now?”

“You passed. You can go to the good place now, and spend the rest of eternity in paradise. The real one.”

“And Frederick? He’ll be alone?”

Janet nodded.

“Put me back in. Reset me, and make me his soulmate again.”

“Are you sure?” Janet asked.

“I’m not going without him.”

“He would leave you behind. You just saw that.”

“That wasn’t fair. Anyone would accept that deal. I would accept that deal!”

“No. You wouldn’t,” Janet said. “You passed your test a long time ago.”

For a while, a heavy silence fell between you as you processed this. Finally, you thought of the only question worth asking. “How many times have we had this conversation?”

“762.”

“Well then,” you said. “You know what I’m going to say.”

“I do. But you retain a vague sense of your memories from previous tests. At a subconscious level, you might realize you’re tired of this.”

You smiled. A big, genuine one that balled your cheeks and creased the corners of your eyes. “That’s not how I feel at all. I think I love him more every time.”

Janet nodded, but gave one last warning before erasing your memories again. “If he never passes, you could be stuck here forever.”

“Stuck falling in love with that insecure jerk over and over again for thousands of years? Sounds like heaven to me.”

“I thought you might say that.”

***

The first day, you really wanted to punch his pretentious snobby face for thinking he was so much better than you.

The first time you laid eyes on Dr. Frederick Chilton, he was waiting behind a mahogany desk with an ancient hardcover book in his hands. Not reading it—waiting, posed deliberately to be discovered that way, and give the impression of intellectualism.

“This is your soulmate,” said Michael, introducing you.

Chilton took a step back after shaking your hand and looked you up and down critically, as if he were appraising livestock. And right away, you knew there had been a terrible mistake. Who the fork did he think he—

Fork. Fork! Why couldn’t you say fork?!

***

Bright light streamed in through the open bedroom window. The weather was always perfect here, except when some glitch made it rain caviar and jelly beans. Or that time Frederick had a vivid nightmare, and organs began falling from the sky. Every day, something horrible seemed to go wrong in the good place. Things that challenged you and pushed your soulmate to his limits.

But most mornings were like this. Quiet. A time just for the two of you.

Your fingers lightly stroked his chest, delving into the soft hairs that rose and fell with his steady breathing. You pressed a soft kiss to his skin, then another, tracing a line of them lower, over a jagged, raised line down his abdomen. His scars let you know he was waking up. This was the good place—he didn’t have to let them show. Usually, he chose to appear as a younger version of himself, before all the indelible trauma. But on peaceful mornings like this, he would let them show just so you could soothe them. He never thought he would be that comfortable with anyone. That he could trust anyone so much.

Every day, you both knew you could overcome anything, so long as you were together.

[wolvesandpetals]

Loki x Sylvie Playing House Part 3 (Humor, Romance), Rated T. Full on Sylki hijinks, as promised!

Masterlist of my Sylki fanfics here.

---

The first thing she does when Thor leaves is Google herself. Apparently, she was a child actor and made a fortune there, before transitioning into modelling, and later into a successful influencing career.

"That makes perfect sense to me", Loki comments. "If I was not a prince, I would have chosen to be an actor too. Just imagine, legions of fans screaming your name, begging for your attention for just one moment, hanging onto your every word, willing to worship the very ground you walk on. Now, that is the dream." He pauses, cherishing the image in his head. "There's also the money. Looks like you and I will never have to work a day in our lives. We can just live off your money."

[[MORE]]

Sylvie feels the muscles in her laws instinctively tense. This is not her life, or her reality. She can't imagine spending eternity here. She looks at Loki sternly. "We can not. We have to return to the TVA."

"Yes, of course." He agrees immediately. A part of him likes this life. But another part of him knows there is never a gain without a loss. The universe finds a way to make him pay for every bit of happiness he ever gets. Who knows what the price may be if he chooses to stay, with his family, and with Sylvie right here?

Sylvie sets down the laptop on the bedside table, ignoring the danger of Loki's glass being knocked over and drenching it. She cannot let herself be concerned with such simple things. Ignoring them is the surest way to covince herself she hates it here. "I was wondering, if Thor can get into this town, and if he remembers us leaving this town in the past, does it mean we are free to leave?"

Loki studies her features, the resolute glint in her eyes and the defiant stance of her chin. It is clear that she will stop at nothing to get back to the TVA. "We should test it out." He says, trying to sound as calm as possible. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Maybe we can go to Oklahoma? See my supposed parents?" She attempts to play it off like it's nothing, even though she knows exactly what it means- temptation. The urge to see what this life looks like is ever-growing.

"Why can't we go to Asgard and see my parents instead?" He counters immediately.

Sylvie purses her lips, trying not to reveal her emotions. She doesn't remember her Odin or Frigga at all. A part of her longs to meet this version of them, but another part wonders how overwhelming it would feel, watching Loki occupy her place, have her life, her "parents" in this timeline. "Fine. How about we pick a neutral location first?"

"Fine." He replies curtly.

"Fine!" Her irritation escalates. She grabs the laptop again, opening up a tab to a travel website, ready to book a flight.

"LA?" He suggests.

"You just want the paparazzi attention, don't you?" She points out, but doesn't resist. "Alright."

September 1st. The date is set. They will be off to LA within three days, and if whatever being that has placed them here does not want them to leave, they will know by then.

---

"Do you really need all of these sunglasses?" Sylvie asks, after Loki stashes the fifth one in his backpack.

"Of course, I do." He defends. "Style? Remember?"

"Travelling light, remember?" She hits back, taking out two random pairs and throwing them back on her dresser. "Just take what you absolutely need."

"I absolutely need my sunglasses." He says stubbornly.

She can either give in on this trivial matter, or she can dig her heels in and fight it out with him. A stupid pair of sunglasses is not worth the effort. "Fine." And in return, there's something that he has to compromise for her as well. "Only if you help me get my swords past security."

"With pleasure." He says with a grin, and with a wave of his hand, the newly arrived swords from eBay are magically cloaked.

Sylvie looks at her own luggage. She has never really owned anything. She jumped from one apocalypse to another, with only her life, and sometimes food supplies for a few days. It feels surreal to look at the clothes in her wardrobe now. The thought of carrying them with her feels even more foreign.

She looks at the tons of products on her dresser, skin creams, lotions, toners, cleansers and heaven knows what else. All the luxuries she never had.

All the luxuries she does not want.

"I'll just pack a change of clothes." She says finally.

"You don't want anything else?" He asks, surprised.

"These are just things, Loki." She explains. "They can be replaced. I have no attachment to them."

---

She regrets not booking first class. She has been on planes before, using crashing aircrafts as a temporary hideout spot to regroup when the TVA was on her tails. As a stowaway, she never realized just how annoying a plane journey can actually be.

Loki graciously offers her the window seat, noting her unease as soon as they board. She thanks him with a smile, and they nod in mutual understanding.

She stares out of the window, at the town that is supposedly her home, and for the first time ever, she feels a pang of homesickness for a place that is not Asgard. She has been here for just five days now, yet, the thought of sleeping in her own bed is so tempting.

Sylvie notices how she is thinking of the bed as her bed now, but tries not to dwell on it too much.

The plane takes off without incidence, and she dozes off quickly. When she wakes up, she notices a thin comforter wrapped around her shoulders. Turning to her side, she sees Loki sleeping as well, his mouth slightly agape. She snuggles close to him, suddenly needing the comfort of his warmth, and the woman on the aisle seat gives her a dirty look. There's a baby crying somewhere in the back, and what feels like the beginning of a massive headache. But all that fades away when she lays her head on his shoulder.

---

When the flight arrives at LAX, they are both a little scared to leave its comfort. They are about to find out if they are free to travel wherever they want, or whether the action had any consequence. Sylvie is the first to take a step out, and they are both relieved to see nothing happens. The baggage claim goes smoothly, though slowly, and they get a cab quickly. Sylvie hides her grin when she sees Loki put on his sunglasses.

"So we're here." He says, staring at Sylvie, while she stares out of the window.

She only hums in response.

"Is this your honeymoon?" The driver asks.

Loki laughs nervously. "No, no. We've been married for quite a long time. This is just... a vacation."

The driver recommends them a lot of tourist places. Sylvie tunes him out. This is just a test. She has no interest in touring LA. They have their return flight scheduled for the next day.

They check into their hotel room, and she plops down on the bed immediately. "It seems we are free to leave the town. Just not the reality, I suppose." She runs her hands over the silky sheets, amused. "I must say, whoever placed us here has taken every measure to make this prison comfortable."

Loki follows suit and takes a seat beside her. "I suppose that is indeed generous of him. Or her."

Sylvie turns to the side to look at him. "So how do we get out of here then? Got any plan?"

He shrugs. It's not like there's a book called What to do when you find yourself trapped in an alternate universe with your alternate self for Dummies. "Right now, the plan is to get some dinner, then some sleep. Then perhaps in the morning we can see a bit of LA?"

"You want to play tourist?" She asks in a neutral tone.

He replies in kind, testing the waters. "We are here already, and we have the time, so why not?"

"Okay." She replies, a little unsure, but not entirely opposed to the idea. The weariness of the journey starts taking its toll on her. She messages her temples with her fingertips. "Should we order room service?"

Loki contemplates for a moment. On the one hand, she looks really tired, and she could use a good night's sleep. On the other hand, she has been completely on edge and razor focused on the mission since they got in this mess. Well, since they met, actually, and probably for centuries before that. She could also use a bit of fun and relaxation.

With that in mind, he carefully voices his proposal. "I was thinking maybe we can go down to the restaurant and have a proper dinner."

Sylvie looks up, grinning mischievously. She's about to call his bluff. "What, like a date?" His deer-in-the-headlights reaction makes her laugh. "Calm down, I'm just teasing you."

---

It's not a date, but it kind of is. It's a four course meal and a fine bottle of champagne over candlelight, after all.

"Was it like this? Back at Asgard?" Sylvie wonders.

"Mostly. But Asgard was grand, elegant. This is..."

"A cheap replacement." She completes.

Loki smiles. "Precisely."

They talk about their Asgard bedrooms, the similarities and the differences between their safe haven in the palace. An hour passes swiftly.

"The wine is good." Sylvie comments, sipping on her first glass of wine, when the champagne is drained.

"Yes, quite good." Loki agrees, on his first glass as well.

The tiniest buzz starts to take root in him, and his mind wanders into the realm of possibilities, the future he can have, here and now. His eyes focus on the brighest object in front of him- Sylvie.

She feels her cheeks flush under his gaze. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You are just so..." He blinks. What is another word for Asgard's Sun when it disappears into the azure lakes? "Breathtaking"

Her lips curve into a shy smile. This is the beginning of the same foolishness he showed on the train in Lamentis-1 that almost got them killed. But right now, their life isn't in imminent danger. Right now, she is just amused. "Wow, you really can't hold your liquor, can you?"

"Of course I can. I am Loki, Prince of Asgard." He declares proudly.

"Yes, yes, I've heard the speech." She says it with a smile and an eye-roll. "We should get you upstairs."

He objects immediately. "But I'm not done yet."

"Oh, I think you're quite done." She beckons the nearest waiter. "Can we get the bill, please?"

He can still walk surprisingly well, but she holds his hand tightly, just in case he decides to take a detour, and drags him into the elevator.

"Blonde looks good on you." He comments out of the blue. "Maybe I should go blonde too."

She grins. "Like Thor?"

He glares at her. "You're a buzzkill."

---

Sylvie opens the door after fumbling with the keys for a minute. She is starting to feel the effect of the alcohol as well. She takes off her shoes and her earrings, while Loki runs to the loo.

"Why did you book a room for two?" He asks in a serious tone, leaning against the door-frame of the bathroom.

Sylvie freezes, her hand hanging mid-air for five uncomfortable seconds before she awkwardly drops it to her side.

Why did she book a room for two? She could have just rented separate rooms, or at least ones with separate beds. It's not like she and Loki are actually together.

But they have been. At least for the past few days. Why do they need separate rooms here when they share a bed back home?

Home. Sylvie realises with alarm that she's thinking of her prison as her home.

Is this reality starting to mess with her mind now?

"It's okay, I don't want to leave you either." Loki's voice pulls her out of her inner monologue. She turns around quickly in his direction. He's still drunk, and it shows, but he has a look on his face that she has never seen before- a mix of resolution and fondless. His eyes whisper silent vows of loyalty, and something else, something he can't quite express yet. "I will never leave you."

Sylvie smiles, closing the distance between them and standing next to him. Her hand finds his by sheer instinct. "Good to know."

"I mean it, Sylvie." He gives her hand a reassuring squeeze, before he tugs her along with him as he sits down on the bed, unable to stand any longer in his inebriated state. She is grateful to be seated too, and she's unsure whether it is just the alcohol. "I know you hate it here. But I like this." He indicates at her, then at himself, then back at her. "I like falling asleep next to you, and walking into the kitchen first thing every morning to see you cursing at the microwave. I like how you hum in the shower and scream at the TV."

Sylvie listens quietly, her eyes focused on the feeling of his hand in hers. She is trying to memorize this moment, burn the shape of his fingers and the feel of his touch into her brain, so that when it's gone- when he is gone- like everything in her life always is, she will have another good memory to relive again and again.

Loki continues. "I like the way you burn the pasta every time you try to cook."

"I don't burn the whole dish." She retorts playfully. "Just the bottom part."

He shakes his head to show he disagrees. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Her heartbeat quickens. Is he going to confess that he has feelings for her?

Does he have feelings for her?

"Sure." She barely whispers back.

Loki double-checks. "Promise me that you will never tell yourself?"

She laughs softly. "I promise."

Loki tenses, suddenly looking sober. He lets go of her hand, to rest his by his side, his fingers clenched into a fist. Mastering all his courage, he finally speaks. "I don't want to leave. Ever. I like it here."

Sylvie looks away, suddenly needing air. Hearing Loki say that makes her feel irrationally angry. He promised to be on her side every step of the way, but the minute he finds a life he likes, he's ready to throw in the towel.

A part of the anger stems from the fact that she knows, a major reason he wants to stay is her, this life he has with her. Two Lokis on any other timeline will cause Nexus events. But here, they are free to be together. Timelines don't start branching off like a growing vine on timelapse video every time they touch. And he wants that. She knows this because he has all but said it with his words and his actions.

And because she wants it too. Damn it, she wants it so much. She is getting sucked into this reality, indeed.

But she knows she has to finish what she started- she owes it to herself, and to the people out there who need her help, who will be robbed of their lives if she doesn't stop whoever is doing this.

She wants to-

- But she can't.

"Loki, I-" she stops when she turns around to see he has already fallen asleep. Wordlessly, she wraps the comforter over his sleeping form, before crawling under it herself. Turning to her side, facing away from him, she wonders what's next for them.

[plainlo-inthemorning]

A Loki TVA / Lokane fic that snatched a tempad. Rating T.

Previously: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (of 6)

Shine a Light, part 4

This time around, he feels but the faintest glimmer of surprise as he steps out of the doorway and onto a busy sidewalk in Midtown Manhattan.

A few people stop dead in their tracks when the door materializes out of thin air, but the throng of commuters headed to and from Central Station is so dense, Loki’s appearance goes mainly unnoticed.

Dull resignation washes over him.

The tempad is officially broken. Its coordinates locked onto this little planet where, in his own timeline, he has known nothing but defeat.

Without bothering to look for a newsstand, he reasons there’s a strong probability it’s the year 2014. It would seem the damn gadget is slowly counting backwards, while refusing to take him anywhere else in the universe.

Above his head, a billboard flashing on the side of a high-rise building confirms his suspicions.

Incredibly though, the tempad still not out of “juice”. The battery life seems to be making a mockery of his failed attempts to direct the itinerary.

Taking a step out of the moving sea of people, Loki sees little in way of construction sites along the street.

On his timeline, this would have been two years after his attack on the city with Thanos’ army, but if that ‘highlight’ of Loki’s less than acclaimed villainous career took place in this reality as well, the mortals have effectively tidied up after him.

He tries not think of the countless faces frozen in terror that had looked up at him.

Of the lives lost because of his crazed ambition to prove himself - and to destroy something of Thor’s.

Almost if Loki had been transformed back into the chronically jealous five-year-old child who once stole his golden, annoyingly joyful, perfect brother’s favorite model toy - a grey wolf made of clay - and deliberately let it roll down the steps of the throne when their father (his NON-father) had been away.

The toy had broken into pieces and Thor had been inconsolable. Gripped by immediate remorse despite his initial intent, Loki had tried to fix it with his budging magic powers. Only for the wolf to melt to a sticky puddle on the stone floor.

Thor had wailed so loudly, a passing servant had thought him seriously injured and called for their mother, and Loki had been made to apologize, his usually pale cheeks burning scarlet. Then he had been grounded for the remains of the day.

The humiliation had stung, and so had the regret that his magic had failed him.

Not for the first time, the anger had turned, unwarranted (Loki knew then too), towards his brother.

From then on, it had just gotten slowly worse and worse and more malicious right up until that horrible moment of rage no more than a few days ago (a week?), when Loki had driven one of his daggers into Thor’s side on top of the Stark tower.

And twisted it.

The mix of bottomless sadness and shock in his brother’s blue eyes had cut through Loki’s heart with such force he might as well have sunk the blade of his other weapon into his own chest.

But instead of abandoning his pathetic scramble for power and hold Thor, instead of attempting to heal the wound with his magic that has become so formidable in adulthood, Loki had let the poison drown the remains of his sanity.

Of course, shortly afterward, the green monstrosity had effortlessly and repeatedly smashed him into the concrete floor of Stark’s living-quarters until Loki had thought he heard every bone in his supposedly immortal (right!) body break and his skull crack open.

To the outside, it had surely been a suitably entertaining show of retribution, but as he had lain there in the crater of rubble, unable to utter a moan, it was as if all the anger had been knocked out of him.

The link to Thanos’ ungodly servant had been severed and Loki had felt more like himself than he had in a long, long time.

When Thor, looking grimmer than ever, had dragged him to his feet in front of the ragtag band of ‘heroes’ and cuffed him, Loki had found himself strangely elated, on the verge of giddy.

His legs had been so shaky from the beating that Thor had had to hold him by the arm so he wouldn’t fall, and Loki had felt the heat of his brother’s huge hand penetrate the many layers of his own armour.

For a few delirious seconds, Loki had wanted nothing more than to lean against his brother’s strong frame and just close his eyes.

Instead, he had started cracking jokes until Thor had slapped the muzzle on him, as if he were some dog (that gesture had embarrassed him more than anything that had gone before). Unable to keep up his sarcastic commentary as they rode the elevator down, Loki had fleetingly wondered if he was suffering from a psychosis or actual brain damage.

Now, standing on the street so close to where it happened, the memory oozes fresh guilt.

But he redeemed himself.

In his mind, Loki goes through the TVA reel once more to remind himself of the images of his brother later in life, smiling at him.

Right before the end came.

If he is to spend the rest of eternity on Midgard - or at least until the multiverse crumbles - he will try to find solace in the good his future self managed to accomplish.

For Thor and, in another, brighter reality, for her.

The riddle of her part in his life now remains unsolved, but as hard as Loki tries to release the ghost wrapped in his arms, it merely squeezes itself closer to his chest.

He could try to find her here, on this timeline.

She will be with Thor, that much is certain, but since the reel of Loki’s fate had shown him only his own path, he knows not whether Thor and Jane shared a life on Midgard, or somewhere else, up until the brothers reunited (for lack of a better word) on Asgard.

What would Loki even say to her?

That, while at the bureau that controls all space and time, he saw her face on a roll of film of his supposed life, and now he aches for her more than anything? That on an alternate timeline a few hours ago, she kissed him?

Thor would not approve of that exchange.

Also, with Loki’s luck, Thor might be a frog in this reality.

He could still try to use the tempad to transport him to Svartalfheim and his own life’s story, seeing as he is now only year from where he feels so strongly he must go.

But finding the proper timeline is like shooting an arrow into the endless vastness of space and hoping it’ll hit the right comet.

He realizes that now.

An arrow.

Somehow, somewhere, on two timelines no less, variants of him had …

Loki’s head jerks up.

The tower.

It’s a desperate idea at best, but from the (very) little Loki knows of his character, Stark’s superior technical skills go hand in hand with an endlessly hungry, inquisitive mind. And pride.

Much like Loki, Stark is a man who needs to be the smartest man in the room. And like Loki, he probably is, most of time (in fact… no. Don’t go there).

Maybe Stark will listen.

Perhaps he can even help make sense of the tempad if Loki can somehow win his trust and appeal to his curiosity and (he winces a little) heroism.

Was it not Loki’s actions who had helped Stark “realize his best potential”, as his TVA file put it?

He spots the imposing structure further up the street, noticing the huge “A” at the top (is that new?), and sets off towards it at a brisk pace, darting in and out of the crowds on the packed sidewalk.

Here goes nothing.

As he reaches the large glass doors he briefly experiences a dizzying deja-vu, when suddenly a man’s voice calls out to him.

A frighteningly familiar, agitated voice.

… With a particular brand of anger bubbling underneath, that Loki had hoped he’d never have to witness up close ever again.

//

“What the hell are you doing here??”

His dark, curly hair has a few more streaks of silver. The checkered shirt is slightly crumbled, the glasses a bit askew. He clutches an armful of papers to his chest.

And he’s wearing a furious expression although, thank the Norns, a mortal complexion.

For now.

“Didn’t Tony explicitly tell you not to come here?! Are you that intent on causing everyone to lose their shit again?!”

Worry is all over Doctor Banner’s screwed up face.

“Seriously, Loki, is this funny to you? Clint is actually in the building right now and, in case Tony didn’t already inform you, he’s made it very clear that he’s quitting the team if you were to stroll through the front door!”

The Avenger has started shaking, his eyes wild (too wild).

This is heading in the wrong direction fast.

Mustering all the calm in the world despite his racing pulse and the nauseating sounds of bones breaking echoing in his head, Loki puts on his most courteous and, he dearly hopes, un-cocky charming smile.

“Bruce, please relax. I assure you, I’m not here to cause trouble. Not for you or anyone else.”

“Right, you just happened to be in town and wanted to stop by for coffee? Loki, this …”

Loki gently interrupts him.

“I merely came here to have a conversation with S- … Tony. Perhaps you could let him know I’m here? I promise you, I will not set foot inside. In fact - “

Loki adopts the form of one of the security guards he can see pacing inside the foyer.

“… I’m not even here.”

Bruce jumps a little and clutches his papers even tighter.

“Oh god, I hate when you do that, man. If you think showing off that trick makes anyone any less nervous around you…”

“Doctor Banner - Bruce. I have something …”

Loki searches for the words, quickly trying to decide on how much to reveal to the man-beast who’s now looking at him with urgent expectancy.

He sighs and bets it all.

“Okay. Bruce, what I’m going to say will sound mad.”

The man scoffs.

“Coming from you, I’d expect nothing less.”

Bruce shakes his head and looks to the sky in exasperation.

“Please - please - don’t tell me you’ve gone and changed your mind about the whole not conquering Earth business. Really, Loki, none of us understand how transforming you into ‘an asset’ became Tony’s pet project over this past year, or why Fury went along with it. But I’m sure both are going to be pretty damn disappointed if their new alien BFF decides to embrace his inner psycho again.”

Loki almost chuckles. It’s all too ridiculous.

“I won’t … embrace my inner ‘psycho’, I swear.”

“Then what?”

The God of Mischief draws in a deep breath, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. Or rather, the security guard’s nose.

Then he surrenders to the absurdity of the situation.

“Bruce, I kindly beg of you, is Tony here? Or … (is there hope?) Thor?”

Bruce still looks at him with deep disdain, but his immediate anger seems to have subsided.

“No, Tony’s out of town. Took Pepper somewhere on holiday. They’re not to be disturbed for at least a week. Her words. And Thor … I should think you of all people know perfectly well why he’s not likely to hang around at the time being. Jeez, you guys and your endless family soap opera … I can’t even.”

Naturally, the universe again blankly refuses to extend any hands to Loki and his doomed quest. Sadly, once again, he is not surprised.

Wait - what?

“What do you mean, ‘soap opera’?”

Bruce looks like he’s about to throw his hands over his head and all the papers with them.

“Oh, come on! What is this?! You want approval? Confirmation of your little victory? Doesn’t the very lovely embodiment of that currently walk around in your apartment or wherever it is you live now? Loki, I’m done here. You have to leave. Bye.”

To hell with Stark – Loki wants to grab Bruce by his shirt collar and shake the little man till he explains what in all of Yggdrasil he’s talking about.

But he cannot afford to tempt the beast. Quite literally.

“Then … can you and I go somewhere to talk? Bruce, you’re a man of science. This is science … related.”

Loki feigns a smile.

Bruce sizes him up. No doubt considering whether to let the other guy continue the conversation.

Then his shoulders drop.

“Okay. Okay. For a creepy megalomaniac, you somehow tend to end up with some very cool people defending your case. Just know that those people are absolutely the only reason, you and I are still talking. Ugh, I’m too nice … “

Bruce casts a glance over his shoulder into the foyer, appearing to consider their options, when a man exits the glass doors – and shuffles up to them.

“Bruce! How nice to see you. You look well.”

The old man (those eyes …) grins warmly and pats Bruce on the back, then looks from him to Loki and back again.

“Everything alright out here? Is there a security issue?”

Bruce composes himself and smiles back.

“Hi, Lee, good to see you too. All fine. Earl here was just updating me on, eh, the new security procedures.”

He shoots Loki a stern look.

“Ah, yes”, Loki nods seriously. “Doctor Banner had some trouble operating the intricate open and close mechanism of the doors. The elevator doors, especially.”

He can’t help himself. It’s somehow both immensely tragic and life-affirming.

“Oh?” The old man raises an eyebrow (he looks … but he’s not quite …something is off).

“Will I have to get a new security card? I rarely come in these days, but in case …”

“No, no, that won’t be necessary, Lee. Because, because … like you say, you’re hardly ever here, so …”

Still smiling awkwardly, Bruce waves a dismissive hand, almost dropping the stack of papers (the man’s a terrible liar, Loki thinks).

“Speaking of”, Banner continues, “you must be enjoying retirement up there, huh, Lee? Must be nice to live by the sea. Good … air quality?”

Loki sighs inwardly.

The dog sniffing at his ankles looks up at him.

He stares down at the round, fluffy thing as if seeing it for the first time.

Which he is and he isn’t.

The old man is saying something to Bruce about the countryside, when he notices the dog wagging its tail at Loki’s feet.

“Oh, he likes you. You’re lucky, he normally doesn’t care for strangers. No, you don’t, do you Fenris”, the man coos.

Under coats of thick white fur, the animal looks eagerly from owner to Loki.

“Okay, well, I’ll be off,” the old man says, finally. “Come see me sometime, Bruce. My neighbor actually just put his house on the market, in case you’re looking for a weekend retreat…”

He nods at Bruce, then at Loki who barely notices. The dog whines unhappily at being dragged away.

It’s the same timeline.

Of course, it is. The tempad has locked itself on a sequence.

But why the different locations …?

“Yes, thank you, Lee. Take care now. Earl, shall we?” Bruce signals to Loki to follow him round the side of the building.

“We can continue our discussion about the security issue in the garage”.

//

“So, let’s hear it. Tell me what you came to say, so I can tell you why it’s a catastrophically bad idea.”

Bruce sits himself across the small table from Loki and dumps the stack of papers in front of him. The top sheet is covered in coffee mug rings.

They are in an anonymous, windowless office somewhere below the vast tower parking lot and numerous in-house repair shops.

The place is a gigantic maze and Loki has just shut himself in a tiny room with the very monster that turned him into ragdoll. The deep slash on his forehead has only just healed.

He does not fear many beings in the universe, but the mild-mannered doctor’s alter ego makes the hit list with the worst of them.

Ignoring the way the hairs on the back of his neck stand up (why did this seem like a good idea?), Loki drops his disguise and takes a seat on the cheap plastic chair. Not much of that flashy Stark glamour down here.

“Okay.” Loki takes out the tempad and puts it in the middle of the table.

He is not quite sure where to start, so he decides to begin with the purely technical aspect.

Bruce might appreciate being given a few ‘scientific’ details before any mentions of giant smoke monsters and alligators.

In fact, the fewer magical creatures and castles in the sky, the better.

“This is called a tempad. It’s a device that makes it possible to travel anywhere in time. You type in your destination, and a doorway opens. I did not make it myself. It was, er, given to me by a large and very powerful organization … in space.”

Bruce is leaning forward to get a better look at the tempad but makes no attempt to reach for it.

As he’s says nothing, Loki continues.

“This is where it gets, uh, weird, but try to believe me when I tell you, I’m not the Loki you know. I’m from another, similar timeline and -“

“Stop.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just stop, Loki.”

Bruce is leaning back on his chair again. He looks tired.

“I don’t know if you’re supremely bored of domestic bliss already, or just being your supremely annoying self, but I won’t engage. You’re not Loki but a time-traveler from space? Yeah, it’s -“

“No, Bruce, I am Loki. Trust me, I know this seems -“

“Trust? You wanna talk about trust again?” Bruce takes out his phone.

“Okay, we can do that.”

He taps a few buttons, then holds the phone to his ear.

“What are you doing?” Loki’s voice has a sharper edge to it than he intended.

The Avenger stares him down.

“Oh, I’m just calling someone. This guy I have in my contacts under God of Lies”.

Please, no …

Briefly, Loki considers whether another variant of him – the one he encountered at the house by the ocean, most likely – would actually be of more help.

Or if he, the variant, would try to kill him.

It was one thing reasoning with and trying not to get killed by Loki variants who at least understood the concept of variants, but how would he have reacted upon being confronted with a twin before the TVA?

No, not a twin … Because this variant has her.

None of the variants in the Void – the grown-up, human ones – had mentioned versions of her.

Either this variant has successfully taken out every Minute Man ever sent by the TVA to arrest him (in which case, Loki concedes, he may be the superior Loki), or this whole timeline has only just blossomed at the opening of the multiverse.

Why else would he, who apparently also gave his phone number to Bruce Banner, get to live a life so vastly different from the typical arc of a misguided Jotun prince?

Loki feels light-headed.

On one hand, he wants to know everything there is to know about his double, on the other, he fears what and who he might find.

You don’t belong here. Find your own timeline. No more Lokis.

Focus. Explain.

He raises his one hand in a placating gesture.

“Give me a little time to try and explain this, Bruce, and then, then … You can call whoever. Call everyone! But please just -“

“Oh, what do you know,” Bruce puts his phone down, “there’s no answer. What a surprise.”

He crosses his arms.

Loki inhales and tries again, speaking as evenly and as calmly as he can while his frustration mounts:

“There is no way of telling you all or any of this without it sounding utterly ludicrous, so you’ll have to hear me out. Five minutes uninterrupted from now, okay? Yes, we’re talking time travel, but compared to what’s really at stake, even time travel is a pretty basic technicality. Also, I promise you, in a few years’ time from now, the concept of time travel won’t seem all that laughable to you and Stark in particular. Provided this reality exists in a few years’ time seeing as -“

Bruce sighs dramatically.

“Yes, okay, so”, Loki continues, “Two years ago, I attacked New York, right?”

“If you’re about to roll out some outlandish excuse – another one! – I don’t care to hear it.”

The other man is narrowing his eyes as a fresh look of undistilled loathing creeps into his features.

So it did happen on this timeline as well.

“No, it’s not that. Or, I mean, let’s save that. When you captured me, in my timeline, I escaped from the lobby with the Infinity stone. I know it seems impossible from your end of events but - “

“Impossible?”

Bruce gives him a strange look Loki can’t quite interpret.

“Yes, S… Tony dropped the briefcase with the Infinity stone, and I picked it up and -“

Bruce pushes his chair back. The plastic scrapes loudly against the stone tiles of the floor.

“Loki, I can’t. I thought I had the patience to at least indulge you but turns out I don’t. I can’t tell if you’re losing your mind, but either way, you’ll have to take it – this, whatever it is – up with Tony instead when he gets back. Maybe bring that sweet lab partner of yours along if you’re going to talk time travel. With her field of expertise, I’m sure - “

“WILL YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!”

Without thinking, Loki slams both his hands into the table. Papers go flying and Bruce staggers backwards.

Horror dawns as Loki realizes his error, but it’s already too late.

Bruce doubles over in spasms and a deep, much too deep, growling sound escapes his lips. He grips his head with his shaking hands as if trying to contain the explosion within, and Loki feels his own brain go numb with panic as one of those hands triples in size and a sickly green hue rapidly spreads.

There is no way out.

Bruce is blocking the door and soon his bulk will be taking up the entire room. He falls to his knees, arms thrashing wildly and his shirt ripping across his back. The table sails over Loki’s head, one of the chairs lodges itself in the soundproofed ceiling, causing the panels of fluorescent light to flicker madly.

Are there no security cameras?!

There are screams, but they no longer sound human.

Loki has nowhere to hide.

He has to gather his magic around him, but terror is completely scattering his focus, cold sweat breaking out all over his body.

It is a matter of seconds before the transformation will be complete and the monster attempts to tear him limb from limb. With no heroes to stop it.

Cold.

He has only consciously reached for it once before, but now the thought barely registers before ice rushes through him as if by instinct. Bruce is not the only one with an abomination lurking under the surface.

He doesn’t have the casket of his birth father, but he has strength.

There is no time to consider if it’s enough or nothing at all. No time for crippling self-loathing or shame.

In front of him, the Hulk lifts its crazed, bloodshot eyes to meet his.

The green creature cannot stand upright in the office, and the first fist goes through the ceiling with the force of a wrecking ball. The next lashes out at Loki, who dodges it just as his own skin turns a deep, brilliant blue.

Little black ridges and markings rise on his arms and face and though his sight doesn’t falter, he feels the instant his eyes go from green to bright red. The fabric of his clothes chafes his new skin and waves of adrenaline surge through his body. Multiple foreign senses come alive and drown his fear.

But he has not a breath to spare to get used to his true form before the Hulk shoves him against the wall so hard, the bricks shift against his side as if they were made of a child’s building blocks.

The impact makes him gasp for air, yet the pain … the pain he can manage.

He just has to last long enough get out of here. And the cold is crystalizing his focus to let the magic flow easily, powerfully through his hands.

His blue hands.

If he had used this when …

Loki pushes himself off the wall (out of it) and almost collides with the Hulk (there’s no space left to maneuver in) who, instead of smashing its way out, seems hell-bent on squashing the only living thing in its line of sight first.

Loki swiftly crouches down on one knee, puts his palms together and, faster than the blink of a brilliant crimson eye, conjures a rotating orb of ice and chaos energy that explodes in a blinding flash of white light as he hurls it square into the monster’s chest.

The Hulk falls back, breaking through the wall to the parking lot on the other side and crashing into a row of cars, while a sheath of ice spreads from its chest and up its neck. The being that is not Bruce howls and claws at its skin, but the smooth ice thickens and as it reaches the head of the beast, it slides right into its eye sockets – and momentarily blinds it.

It will probably only last seconds but it’s all Loki needs while the Hulk shakes its head furiously.

He makes to flee when he spots the tempad on the cracked floor.

He can’t leave it.

As Loki dives for the gadget, the Hulk simultaneously knocks itself in the face with both fists, splintering the ice into a rain of tiny spikes. With a roar to match the sound of a spaceship engine taking off, the creature lunges.

Loki’s fingers close around the tempad.

He feels a buzz.

The door appears in front of him.

He doesn’t stop to think before throwing himself through it.

The Hulk punches into empty air.

Part 5

[5-seconds-of-bucky]

Glad It’s You (Shawn Mendes Soulmate!au)

A/N: We got all kinds of classic tropes and au’s in here. Coffee shop, friends to lovers, soulmate. Also, let’s appreciate the fact that it’s actually of decent length this time :) My longest fic yet! 

Also, I’m aware that the timeline of some events that correspond to real life aren’t perfect but for the sake of my sanity please go with it 

Summary: Shawn lives in a world in which he believes he doesn’t have a soulmate until he starts feeling the emotions of someone else. You live in a world where undiagnosed social anxiety prevents you from finding yours. After not seeing each other for three years, the bond you once had is no longer as strong. How does Shawn tell you that he thinks you’re his soulmate when you’re still scared to talk to him like you once did? 

Word count: 8.9k+

Warnings: Reader is heavily implied to have social anxiety, swearing, descriptions of an anxiety attack  

*Disclaimer: The depiction of social anxiety is based off of my own experience and research and may or may not accurately reflect the experience of other people with SAD* 

It was hard to tell if soulmates made life infinitely better or perpetually more difficult.

The discrepancy probably stemmed from the fact that not everyone had the same soulmate indicator. Some had the tattoos of the occupation of their soulmate. Some couldn’t see color until they met theirs. Others could feel the emotions of the other person. There was an endless array of indications. Oftentimes, soulmates had different indicators. It wasn’t rare for someone to have a tattooed name while their soulmate could feel the other’s emotions. 

Since the day you were born, the initials S.M. were tattooed on the inside of your wrist. As a child it was a game. You asked every person you met what their name was, your mind consumed with the idea of eternal love that had been ingrained from a young age. There was always a moment of disappointment when they would tell you “Sammy Jones” or “Eric Miller”. With all the adults romanticizing the idea of soulmates, it was hard not to look for yours in every place you could. 

For a long time, Shawn thought he didn’t have a soulmate. There were no indicators while he was growing up to show that he could have one. He could see color and there were no special tattoos marking his body. It was a source of shame when his friends would ask, “What about you?” after telling him about theirs. Watching his friends talking about their indicators and finding their soulmates was frustrating. He was a normal kid. What did he do to deserve a life of loneliness that only a soulmate could fill? 

Even when his career as a singer launched and he started to understand why it was possible that he might never find love, it was hard to comprehend that he was destined for no one. Was he really that undeserving of love?

He was twenty when he started feeling someone else’s emotions. 

It came out of nowhere. He was celebrating the release of his third album and he couldn’t have been happier. He was on cloud nine, meeting everyone at the party with an enthusiastic smile and hug. He felt complete, even. He had stopped dwelling on his lack of soulmate and instead focused on putting everything he had into his songwriting. 

It was the best choice he’d ever made. His music blossomed and his mental health was better than ever. All the anxiety of being alone and hoping that something, anything, would pop up to show him that he was meant for someone had started to fade to the background. Maybe he would never truly be over the fact that there was no perfect match for him but he could try to block it out of his mind. 

There was a point in his life when he thought that maybe he did have a soulmate. That the system was screwed up and he did have a person. He was 16 and his career was already taking off but he couldn’t help but think that he was falling in love with you, his best friend, while he also fell in love with making music. 

You were by his side through it all: random nights when he’d ask you to come over to help him come up with lyrics, days when it started to get a little too much, evenings when he just needed a quick break. You were the best of friends and there was a bond you thought would never be broken.

One day, he realized that he didn’t need some tattoo or the ability to read your thoughts; you were meant for each other. Neither of you could deny the pull you felt when you were together and random people who didn’t know better often mistook you for a couple. 

But he realized too late. He went on his first world tour and wasn’t sure how to tell you his feelings when he was constantly so far away. You liked plans and stability; his life didn’t offer that in any capacity. 

And then it was too hard to stay connected. He was touring and you were still trying to finish school. There just wasn’t time for you to talk to him at 3:30 in the morning. So you lost touch. There was a text every once and awhile. An empty promise of “we need to meet up” or “wanna talk?”

You both decided in your minds that it wasn’t meant to be. That you had a different soulmate and he had none. It’s been three years now since you were together to have a real conversation. You were beginning to grow frustrated with the search for your soulmate and Shawn had given up all together. 

That was, until he felt a surge of anxiety hit him like a truck in the middle of his party. It lasted no more than three seconds but he couldn’t quite shake the feeling after it passed. He had no idea where it came from. One second he felt on top of the world, the next like he couldn’t stoop lower. 

~

It had only been an hour and a half but you were ready to leave the party. It had been an eventful night by your standards. You had talked to two people besides your roommate, which was two more than usual. Your roommate, Alana had been by your side the whole night, a promise she had to make before you agreed to come, but she eventually had to go to the bathroom, leaving you leaning against a wall by yourself. She had only been gone for three minutes, you could feel all the anxiety creeping up on you. 

Do they think I look lonely? My friend will be back in a minute, I swear!

If I look at my phone they might think I’m just chilling.

They probably think I’m that weirdo that stands against the wall the whole time and doesn’t talk to people. 

Calm down. Nobody cares what you’re doing. They’re all doing their own thing. 

. . . They looked at me funny. They think I’m weird. 

Oh can we just go home? 

As much as you tried to tell yourself that no one cared that you were standing against the wall by yourself, there was that part of you that convinced you that they cared a lot. You were already exhausted purely from being around all the people and loud music. Alana had been gone for three minutes and in those three minutes you had begun to shake and sweat just the slightest bit. You knew that nobody was judging you, it was irrational, but in the back of your mind told you otherwise. 

~

Shawn excused himself from the room, taking a minute to gather his thoughts. While it wasn’t completely abnormal for random bouts of anxiety to hit him, this one felt different. Foreign, as though it wasn’t his own emotions, rather, someone else’s. 

He wiped his hands on his pants, confused as to why they were so sweaty all of a sudden. It wasn’t particularly hot yet he felt warm. Maybe he was worrying too much. It was probably nothing. He ran a hand through his hair before going back to the party, putting a smile on his face and the past ten minutes behind him. 

“Hey man, you alright?” Brian asked as he approached him. 

‘Yeah, just needed to go to the bathroom.” 

“You sure? You look a little shaken.” He wasn’t blind to how Shawn’s eyes were darting around and how he appeared a little more closed off than usual. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He turned his head when someone else called his name and nodded to Brian before heading over to them. He spent the rest of the night doing his best to look excited, but those three seconds plagued his mind the whole time.

~ 

While Shawn struggled to keep his hopes of a soulmate under wraps, you were more desperate than ever to find yours. It seemed like all of your friends were finding theirs and you were perpetually alone.  

With the way you tended to shy away from meeting new people, most people assumed you didn’t want to find your soulmate. That you would rather live a life alone, or that maybe you were never assigned a soulmate to begin with.

You had met a few potential soulmates after losing touch with Shawn. Every time you heard an S.M. name your heart stopped. Maybe you had finally found them. You pushed past the fear of approaching them, rationalizing it with the thought that this could be your only chance to find them. It never worked though. They all had an indicator pointing towards someone else, leaving you upset and embarrassed.  

There was always a small part of you that thought Shawn could be your soulmate, even if he didn’t have any indication of one. You were sure he thought the same way but you lost touch before either of you could really say anything about it. 

You thought about asking him to meet up when he was in town a few times but something stopped you every time. The thought of what if he doesn’t remember me? or worse, what if he doesn’t want to talk to me? was enough to keep you from sending the text. 

It was easy to ignore your loneliness when you could bury yourself in schoolwork, which you had a tendency of doing. It was the easiest excuse to get out of everything. Don’t want to go to a party? Oh, I have to finish editing my essay. Alana tried to set you up on a blind date? I have tests coming up I need to study for. 

Alana was determined to help you find your soulmate, even if you didn’t want to cooperate. 

“Come on, Y/N. Maybe they’ll be at this party! I promise there won’t be a ton of people there and I know you finished that essay last night cause you told me about it and said that you were looking forward to a work free night,” she said, closing your laptop so you couldn’t “work” on your already finished essay. 

“But I want to go over it a few more times to make sure everything is right,” you replied. “Besides, we went to a party last month.” 

“Exactly, last month. Let’s go.”  

“I don’t want to go.” 

“You’re never going to meet your soulmate just sitting at your desk and pretending to work on an essay.” 

“It’s not entirely impossible.” 

“Y/N.” 

So that’s how you ended up at the party, looking around for a potential soulmate. You insisted that they wouldn’t be there; they never were, but Alana insisted that a night out would be good for you, no matter the soulmate circumstance, and dragged you along. 

Truth be told, it was a good thing she forced you to attend. If you had it your way, you would spend most nights in your room, ignoring the rest of the world and sitting on your phone. You were fine hanging with close friends every once and awhile, but a night in was always more appealing. 

According to Alana, however, that wasn’t normal, and you needed to go out in the world and talk to people, unless you wanted to be alone forever. 

You would say, “But I do want to be alone forever. If you haven’t noticed, I don’t even like going to the bank, much less a party filled with people I don’t know.” 

And she would say, “Please, I know that you want to find your soulmate and the only reason you don’t like going to the bank is because it makes you nervous and you’re worried that the people working there are going to be mad at you for no reason.” 

So you would say, “I’ve probably met all the potential soulmates already. What’s the chance that some random person is going to show up to the party and just happen to be that person?” 

And she would tell you, “People randomly meet their soulmates all the time. Yours isn’t going to walk through this door without knowing you first. If you don’t at least leave this dorm you’ll never meet them. Think of how lonely they must feel, waiting for you to come out of hiding.”  

And, as much as you wished you could, you couldn’t really argue with that. The real problem after that was talking to people. You argued that you’re already there, so there’s no reason that if your soulmate was at the party, they couldn’t come find you. Alana tried to get you to socialize by walking around with you and introducing you to new people, but they were usually more interested in talking with her than you. 

That’s how you ended up against the wall, allowing yourself to overthink while Alana went to the bathroom.

~

Shawn continued to experience those random emotions throughout the tour. Random flashes of feelings that weren’t quite his. He would be lounging around when he would suddenly feel excited and energetic, only for it to pass by within a few seconds. One time, he was feeling particularly miserable when a surge of adrenaline and anger came through him. 

He had no idea where the feelings were coming from. He was starting to think that they were somehow connected to his soulmate. 

A glimmer of hope after years of desperation and disappointment. 

Part of him wanted to dismiss it, thinking that no, I can’t have a soulmate. I’ve worked way too hard to get past this to dwell on it again. The other part wanted to take the idea and run with it. 

He tried to argue with himself that it couldn’t be soulmate related.

It’s not like it happening all the time or constantly in the back of my mind.

How would this help me find them anyways? 

It’s all in my head. 

Still, it did little to block the thought that maybe, just maybe, it was related. 

~ 

It was a quiet day at the coffee shop. Granted, most days were fairly quiet, as the shop was located in a secluded area, but still. You assumed it was mainly attributed to the fact that exams were coming up and people didn’t have time to drive down to the shop when there was a Starbucks much closer to the dorms. You were in the same predicament, having your books splayed out on the counter to study in between customers. 

You and Shawn used to come to the coffee shop every Friday after school. Even after Shawn left to go on tour and live life as a rockstar, you made sure to visit the shop at least once a month. Afterall, you were friends with the owner, Eileen, and you would hate to just stop coming and never see her again. 

You eventually landed a job there. It was a little bit of a drive from the dorms but you knew that when Eileen offered you the job, you wouldn’t be able to find one with as good pay and flexible hours anywhere closer. Sometimes being friends with the owner for a long time has its perks.

There was a collage of photos on the wall behind the register that made the place really feel like home. There were tons of random photos ranging from when the shop first opened to when Eileen took a picture of a slice of cake she insisted had a face in it. 

You appeared on the wall a few times, but your favorite picture was the one of you and Shawn right before he left for tour the first time. You were both laughing in the picture, Shawn’s arm around your shoulders as you leaned into him. It was the last time you went to the shop together and you remembered just how fun of a time it was. It always left an ache in your heart when you looked at it, remembering all the good times you had together. 

You didn’t have many other close friends, so once Shawn left for tour you felt a lot lonelier. Your mom tried to get you to make new friends, but it wasn’t as easy for you as she insisted it was. 

“Why can’t you talk to the people across the road? They have  a girl your age.” 

“But she already has a friend group. We’ve lived across the street from each other for years. It would be weird if I suddenly introduced myself and tried to break into her friend group.” 

“You’re never going to make friends if you don’t talk to people.” 

“I have friends.” 

“But don’t you want to hang out with more than two people?” 

“No, I have my friends. That’s all I need.” 

More often than not, you did wish you had more than two friends, or that Shawn would come back and eliminate the need to make new ones, but wishing did nothing to help your loneliness.  You made a few more friends once you went to college, and you were completely okay with your small group, but it never satisfied the longing to see Shawn again. 

~

“What are we doing here?” Brian asked as Shawn pulled into the parking lot of a worn down but homely looking building. “And what is this place?” 

“It’s a coffee shop I used to come to every week. I haven’t seen Eileen in years,” Shawn said with a wistful look as he parked the car. 

“Eileen?” 

“The owner.” 

Brian huffed, realizing that they would be stuck there for a while if Shawn knew the owner. He liked to talk to people. And when he talked, he talked and talked and talked.

“Relax, I’ll buy you a coffee.” 

They both got out of the car and walked into the shop, Shawn smiling when he heard the bell above the door ring. He looked around for a second, noting how almost nothing changed since he’d last been there a few years ago. The chairs and tables were still in the same places, same coffee smell, even that stuffed cat that Shawn gave Eileen as a joke was still sitting on the windowsill. 

The only big change he noticed was the photo wall. There were a lot more photos than he remembered. He wondered if he would still be able to find that picture of you and him. 

He looked to the counter and saw a girl with Y/H/C hair, her head buried in the textbooks that were scattered across the counter. 

“Dude, we getting coffee or what?” Brian said with a teasing smile, walking closer to the counter to read the menu posted on the wall behind it.

You were so invested in studying that you didn’t even hear the bell ring when they came in, only looking up when you saw someone approaching the counter out of the corner of your eye.

“Oh, hi, sorry ‘bout that. How can I help you?” you said as you looked up, met with the face of an oddly familiar young man. 

“Can I get a-”

“Y/N?” Shawn questioned from behind him, confusion painting his face. He hadn’t seen you in three years but you didn’t look all that different. A little more mature, sure, but he could tell it was still obviously you. 

You furrowed your eyebrows at the familiar voice, glancing behind Brian to see Shawn. Your eyes widened at his appearance, no longer a boy but now a man. “Shawn?” 

“Hey, Y/N, can you empty the garbage and put it out back?” Eileen asked as she walked out of the small kitchen area that was closed off from the rest of the store. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Shawn, a smile taking over her face as she took in how he’d grown up over the years. “Shawn Mendes, is that you?” 

“Indeed, it is,” he said with a shy smile. “How are you Eileen?”  

“Pretty good if I do say so myself. How are you? How’s the rockstar life treating you?” 

“It’s pretty great.” 

Meanwhile, you were still staring at your former best friend, mouth slightly agape as you took him in.   

“Well why don’t we get you two some coffees? On the house of course. Y/N, stop staring at the poor boy. It’s not like you’ve never met him before.”  

You looked at the ground for a second and blushed, smiling at the sound of Shawn’s giggle. 

“Alright, what can I get you guys?” 

They gave you their orders and you got to work, denying the ten dollar bill Shawn offered you to pay for them. 

“On the house, remember? Or are you Mr. rich guy now?” you asked with a slight surge of confidence. You hadn’t seen him in years, but the urge to tease him every chance you got was still there.

“Ooh, okay. You think I’ve changed that much?” 

“A little bit. It’s been a while.” 

“That’s where you’re wrong. I am the exact same person as I was three years ago.” 

“I’m not too sure about that, but okay.” 

Shawn rolled his eyes and put the bill in the tip jar. “Alright, coffee girl. I would like my coffee in two minutes flat. No more no less. Brian is on a very tight schedule so we have to get him home in time for his nap.” 

So Brian was his name. “Your wish is my command, good sir,” you said, bowing at him before turning around to start the drinks. You could hear Shawn giggle behind you, sending an eruption of butterflies to your stomach. 

Shawn felt a slight nervous tinge as well. One that wasn’t quite his. He felt completely natural around you but maybe his soulmate was somewhere else feeling nervous about a presentation or something.  

You gave the boys their coffee, sticking your tongue out at Shawn when he commented on how it took three and a half minutes instead of two and demanded his money back. You returned to the counter, trying your best to focus on studying. You kept getting distracted by Shawn’s voice, which carried across the shop, as he talked to Eileen. He was sitting in the same two person table against the wall that you used to sit in during your weekly visits.  

“You need to go talk to him.” You jumped slightly when you noticed Eileen next to you. 

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me,” you replied tentatively, flipping the page of your book in hopes that it would make it look like you were actually studying. The burst of confidence was gone and you came to the reality that you were both no longer the same person you used to be, therefore, you couldn’t keep that same dynamic. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“I dunno. Just a feeling.” 

“Go talk to him. I know you want to.” She gave you a knowing look and you sighed. “I’ll take over for you for a bit. Go talk to your best friend.” 

“But he’s with Brian and I don’t really know Brian and what if they don’t want to talk to me they just wanted to hang out and-” 

“Y/N.” 

Suddenly, the butterflies grew, and it became more of bird wings than butterflies. You took a deep breath and made you way over there, praying that it would be over quickly and you could go back to studying by yourself. 

You quietly pulled up a chair and sat in it, waiting for Shawn to finish whatever story he was telling Brian.  

“Y/N, just in time,” he said with enthusiasm. “I was just telling Brian the story about Willy the window cat.” 

“Ahh, a classic.” Shawn could sense your unease and quickly introduced you to Brian. He was well aware of your lack of people skills and how uncomfortable you got around new people.  

You spent the better part of the rest of the hour catching up with each other, Shawn doing a lot more talking than you, which you were completely fine with. You tried your best to not show how nervous you felt. 

Even as you tried your best to hide it, Shawn was picking up on the nervous habits. Your lifestyles might’ve changed but you were still the shy girl who subconsciously picked at the inside of her elbow and bounced her foot excessively when nervous. It didn’t matter if you hadn’t seen each other in years, he still knew you like the back of his hand. 

There were days, back when you were really friends, where he would reach over and grab your hand so you would stop picking, or place his hand on your knee to stop the bouncing. He chose to ignore it now, realizing that you had grown apart, and now wasn’t the time to jump back in so intimately. You were always self conscious about the habits and he didn’t want to make you more nervous by pointing them out. 

Even though he was more focused on you throughout the conversation, he noticed how Brian was seemingly getting more and more bored hearing him talk. As much as he wanted to stay and talk to you, he knew he should probably get going. This was supposed to be a quick pit stop to drop in and say hello, not an hour long catch up with the girl he used to be sure was his. 

“We should get going. I think Brian is going to walk home if I stay here much longer.” Brian’s head perked up at the mention of his name and Shawn chuckled. 

“Meet you at the car. Nice meeting you, Y/N.” He was up and out the door in a matter of seconds, causing Shawn to chuckle again.  

It didn’t sit all that well with you though. 

Oh no, he doesn’t like me. 

He thinks I’m some weirdo who doesn’t talk. 

I barely know the guy and he already hates me. 

“We should meet up, just the two of us, sometime. I’m on a break from tour if you’re free anytime soon,” Shawn said, breaking you out of your thoughts. “And don’t worry about Brian. I think he’s just tired.” 

It did little to ease your fears but you smiled like it did anyways. Were you that easy to read? “Uhh, yeah. I have exams next week but we can meet after that.”

“Alright, how does the eighteenth sound?” 

“That works.” You stood up and put your chair back at the table it came from, turning around to find Shawn closer than you expected him to be.  

“Awesome. Text me your address so I can pick you up and take you somewhere.” 

“Okay.” He threw you his signature smile and it made you melt a little. 

“It was great seeing you, Y/N. Tell Eileen I said bye.” 

“Good seeing you too and you got it.” 

He pulled you into a quick side hug and left. 

As much as you tried, you couldn’t study for the rest of your shift. Only three more customers came in within the two hours you had left, so you spent a decent amount of time staring at the wall and stressing about meeting up with Shawn. Two weeks gave you plenty of time to stress about it, which led to thinking of ways to get out of it. 

~

Maybe if I don’t text him the address, he’ll forget, you thought as you stared at your phone the next day, messages open to Shawn’s name, your thumb hovering over the keyboard. It could work. That was enough to convince you to turn off your phone and worry about it later. You went back to working on the presentation you were working on, only pausing when you felt the buzz buzz of your phone telling you that you got a text. 

From Shawn: Hey, what’s your address? What time do you want me to pick you up? 

You panicked slightly, upset that your plan had already fallen apart. You decided to ignore it for the time being. You would worry about it later.  

“Hey, Y/N, can I borrow your phone for a second? Mine’s dead,” Alana asked as she came into the dorm. 

“Sure,” you said as you handed her the phone, not bothering to look away from your computer. 

“Who’s Shawn and why is he asking where you live?” 

Your eyes widened as you realized you forgot to clear the message. “He’s just an old friend. We’re uhh meeting up since we haven’t seen each other in a while.” 

“Well are you going to text him back or do I have to do it?” 

“I will, later.” 

“You’re actually going to do it?” she asked with a curious smile. “And you’re actually going to meet up with him?” 

“Yeah . . .”  

“I’m holding you to this.” 

“What, why? I’m capable of handling my own social life.” 

“Sure you are. You’re not getting out of this though. I know that look.” 

You sighed and glared at her. She knew you too well. “Do you actually need my phone?” 

“Yes, I need to call my mom.” She sent you a sweet smile and you shook your head. “Thank you.” 

You texted Shawn at 9:12 that night, six hours after he sent the original message. 9:12 specifically so it looked like you just saw it and responded as soon as you did, not like you ignored it and were planning to send it at  a specific time, like 9:15. 

He responded thirty seconds later with a thumbs up. 

~

The day of the meetup was stressful. You had already been in your head about it for the past two weeks, but you really started worrying when you realized you had no idea what was going to happen. 

Shawn refused to tell you where you were going, only telling you to dress comfortably and that you would only be gone for a few hours. Being a person who liked schedules and knowing exactly what was going on, this didn’t make you too happy. It sounded a lot like a date, which only made you more stressed. 

“Do you think this will be okay?” you asked Alana. You were wearing jean shorts and a semi-cute top. Not too fancy but not too casual. 

“Is this a date or friend meetup?” 

“Friend meetup.” 

“You look great.” She could sense the hesitation as you looked in the mirror, deciding if you agreed with her or not. “You’re gonna be fine. From what I’ve heard, you were best friends for a long time. You’ll be back to that in no time.”  

“I don’t know. It’s been so long and-” You were interrupted by a text from Shawn telling you he was there if you were ready. 

“Go have fun. Take a deep breath and stop worrying about it, alright?” 

“Okay.” You gave her a smile before putting your phone in your back pocket and leaving. You could see Shawn leaning against his car and looking at his phone once you left the building.  

Shawn had been quite excited to hang out with you again. There wasn’t any part of him that was nervous until he went to get drinks for the two of you that morning. It had been slowly building up all day, but it felt more like his soulmate’s than his own. 

“Hey, you,” he said with a smile. “Ready to go?” 

“You bet,” you smiled back at him, walking to the other side of the car to get in. 

“I got you a frappuccino.” He gestured to the cup holder. “I don’t know if what you like has changed but it’s what you used to get so I hope it’s okay.”  

“My taste hasn’t changed a bit,” you chuckled. “Thank you. That’s really sweet of you.” 

“Of course. What better way to rekindle our friendship than by reliving the old times?” 

“True, true.” You discretely wiped your palms on your shorts, unsure if it was from nerves or the heat. “Want to tell me where you’re going?” 

“Nope. It’s a surprise.” His eyes had a mischievous glint to them. He knew how much it was bothering you.  

“This feels like a first date,” you mumbled, avoiding eye contact. You knew that Shawn was like this by default, but you couldn’t help but feel a little extra awkward anyways. 

“Not my intention,” he chuckled. “I just wanted to be nice.” 

“I know, I’m just awkward.” 

Shawn laughed and shook his head.  

You didn’t drive for much longer, arriving at a small park no more than fifteen minutes after you started. 

“I figured we could walk and catch up, if you’re good with that.” 

“That’s good. Why didn’t you just tell me we were going to the park though?”        

“Wanted you to get worked up about it.” 

You gasped. “That’s mean.”  

“Gotta balance the niceness out somehow.”  

You spent two hours walking around and catching up. You felt yourself ease up as you talked. He was still your Shawn and he barely changed from the last time you talked. The evening ended with a hug and promise to hang out again soon. 

“See,” Alana told you when you told her how well it went. “Sometimes you need to just give yourself the push.” 

The more and more time you spent together, the more and more Shawn became sure that you were the mystery soulmate whose emotions he had been feeling. 

He would feel a twinge of extra excitement before you hung out or right before you texted him I got an A on that essay!!!!!

He was never completely sure though and never told you about it. He wanted to test the theory but wasn’t sure how he could do it without you knowing. 

Meanwhile, your search for your soulmate slowed. You came to terms that they would come when the time was right and that you needed to enjoy life as it was. Your best friend was on a break from his hectic life for the first time in a long time and you wanted to spend all the time you could with him. You felt a little less anxious when you were around him, which could also be attributed to the lack of school work due to summer break, but you liked to believe he was helping. 

The great thing about Shawn was that he knew not to push too hard. Alana didn’t always know when to stop pushing you towards doing things out of your comfort zone. You’ll admit, it was sometimes good for you. Other times, it caused way more anxiety than necessary  and you would be out of it for the rest of the day. Shawn, on the other hand, could tell when something really could be too much and would stop. 

There was only one time when he knew he was pushing too hard but continued anyways. 

“You wanna be my date to the Grammys?” You had discussed his nomination earlier that day, but he never mentioned bringing someone with him before. 

“Date?” You had a playful smirk on your face and Shawn just rolled his eyes and nudged your shoulder. 

“Do you wanna be my extra person who’s my best friend, not date, cause I don’t have a date, date? 

“As amazing as that sounds, I don’t think so. Way too many people.” You hoped he would just drop the subject. 

“Come on, it would be fun. Besides, how often do you get an invitation to the Grammys?

“Never . . . because I don’t want to go.” 

“Please, Y/N. I don’t have anyone else to take and we would have such a good time.” 

“Take Aaliyah.” 

“She probably has stuff going on.” 

You have tons of other friends. Take one of them.” 

“Yeah but you’re my best friend and I want to take you.”

“Shawn I really don’t think I should. There’s gonna be a ton of people there and I don’t have the money to buy a fancy dress-”

“I’ll buy you a dress and stay with you the entire night.”

“I can’t ask you to do that. Besides-” 

“Please, Y/N. I will beg you every day until you say yes. Just this one time, then I promise I will never ever make you go to a party or awards show of any kind.” 

“Fine,” you sighed. You knew that it was a bad idea but you also knew that Shawn would hold true to the begging. 

“Thank youuu.” He reached over and pulled you into a hug 

“You owe me.” 

~ 

The week before the Grammys was more anxiety inducing than anything in your entire life.  

You got your dress a month ago but was starting to have second thoughts on it. Was it fancy enough? You had scrolled through endless pictures of past Grammy looks and everything looked so much more elaborate than your midnight blue dress. Tiffany had picked out the dress for you, noting how you wanted something elegant but nothing that would make you stick out. 

You had to admit, you loved the dress. It fit you perfectly. You were yet to show Shawn but you knew he would love it. There was just one part of you that thought that everyone would think it was too simple and know that you had no business being there. 

Shawn was doing his best to help you through the anxiety. 

“Think of the best possible situation,” he told you. 

“Nobody notices me and I stay completely under the radar or they note that I’m your friend who’s been seen with you before and leave me alone.”

“Now tell me the worst possible situation.” 

“I do something embarrassing and stick out so that everyone notices and realizes that I’m obviously not supposed to be there.” 

“See how the worst case scenario is so much more unlikely to happen?” 

“Shawn, I know it’s irrational but I can’t help it. No matter what, I’m going to have a worst case scenario.” 

“I know you are. Y/N, I do too. But think for a second,” he said. “Everyone else is too caught up in their own affairs to give a flying shit about what you’re doing. Unless you walk the red carpet with me, they probably won’t even notice you.” 

You knew Shawn was right. You knew the worst case scenario was irrational, you just couldn’t help but dwell on it; you were so scared of embarrassing yourself. You were once again planning excuses for not being able to go. I’m really sick and throwing up everywhere or There’s a family emergency. I can’t go. 

But even as you worried more and more, you knew how much you needed to do it for Shawn. He had done so much for you. You could do this one thing. 

~

“You ready?” Shawn asked with a huge grin. He had been getting more and more excited by the day. The happiness blocked the intensely anxious feelings of his soulmate to the slightest. At this point, he was almost positive you were his soulmate. Of course, anyone could be this anxious for a long period of time and it just coincidental to yours. He wanted more time to think about it though and if it was true, to tell you at a time when you were in a better mental state. 

“Not really, but I don’t think I have a choice,” you said through the door. You had to admit, you felt absolutely beautiful. Your thoughts of sticking out because of your dress were fading with every look in the mirror.  

“I’m sure you look absolutely fantastic.” 

“That’s not the problem but thank you.” You both giggled at that and you wished you could get over yourself and go out there. 

“You know I’ll be with you the whole night, right?” His tone changed to a more serious one, and it was comforting to know he cared so much. 

“I know, but still.” 

“Can I see you now? This is easier when I can see your face.” 

“Yeah,” you chuckled, opening the door slightly before taking a deep breath and stepping out. You grasped your hands behind your back and smiled shyly as Shawn stared at you in awe. 

“Wow,” he whispered. “You look absolutely stunning.” 

Heat rushed to your cheeks and you looked down to your feet. 

“Come here.” He pulled you into a hug, his head resting on your head as yours was on his chest. “You’re going to be amazing tonight, okay? So stop worrying so much and enjoy it as it comes.” 

“I’m trying.” 

“I know you are, I just wanted to remind you.” He squeezed you tighter for a second and drew back, smiling widely before completely letting go. 

You both said nothing as you got into the car to go to the show, allowing yourselves to try to relax before the long night ahead of you. 

“Good luck,” you grinned as he prepared to get out of the car for the red carpet. 

“Thanks, see you soon.” He took your hand and squeezed it, causing the butterflies in your stomach to explode. He stepped out of the car and winked at you, laughing at the finger guns you sent him before he closed the door. 

You both agreed that it was best for you not to walk the red carpet. You didn’t want to be bombarded with questions asking if you were in a relationship and Shawn didn’t want to have to deal with the drama it would cause afterwards. You decided to meet inside, which led to you awkwardly standing around and waiting for him to come in. 

After what felt like a lifetime and a half of avoiding eye contact and trying to look like you belonged, Shawn appeared at your side. 

“How’d it go?” 

“Good. Took some really hot pictures I think people will enjoy.”

“How is that possible? You can’t take hot pictures.” 

“As if I haven’t caught you ogling over pictures of me before.” 

“As if,” you scoffed and Shawn let out a loud laugh, which made you laugh as well. 

“Alright, sassy pants, let’s find our seats.” 

The show went well and you eventually realized that you got worked up more than you needed to. You didn’t have to interact with many people and you were able to sit in a seat and enjoy the show more than you thought you could. 

What you should have been worried about though, was the afterparty. 

Shawn said you didn’t have to go but you could see how much he wanted to. You also knew that if you told him you were going to go home but he should go to the party, he would opt to go with you. So, against your better judgement of what you were up for that night, you decided to go under the condition that Shawn would stay with you the whole time. 

It was a little too loud and crowded for your liking but you did your best to hide the discomfort. The faster you got out, the better, but you were going to try to enjoy the party the best you could. 

Unbeknownst to you, Shawn could definitely sense your discomfort. Something inside himself was telling him he should take you home, but everytime he suggested you leave, you insisted that you wanted him to have fun and that you would stay until he wanted to go. You knew he came with intentions of talking to other people and refused to leave until he did so. 

“But I’ll have fun with you.” 

“Shawn Mendes, if you do not socialize tonight, you will spend the rest of your life regretting it so I suggest you start mingling.” 

“I feel like that’s an overstatement, but fine.” He started walking away but turned around when he noticed you weren’t following. “Come on, wallflower, I’m not allowed to leave you by yourself.” 

You rolled your eyes but pushed yourself off the wall and made your way towards him anyways. 

He made his way around, talking to friends and a few people he didn’t know, making sure you were close at all times. You were quiet the whole time, only speaking when asked a question. Like with Alana, people tended to be more interested in the person you were with than you yourself. 

Shawn caught you picking at the inside of your elbow a few times. Part of him wanted to scold you for doing it, but he knew it was a subconscious habit and that you couldn’t do much about it unless he pointed it out. He would wrap his arm around you, gently placing his hand over the spot so you couldn’t pick at it. You would sigh once you realized you were doing it again and Shawn would squeeze your upper arm lightly, as if to say, it’s alright.

He eventually gave you a water bottle to keep your hands busy and you accepted it graciously, secretly in awe of how he knew you so well. He was about ready to go after that, drained from the long night, when someone called his name. He made his way towards them and you tried to follow but got blocked off by someone walking in between you. In a split second he was gone, and your anxiety only grew as you struggled to find him. 

You found yourself standing next to a table, texting Shawn to tell him where to find you once he was ready to go. You hoped it wouldn’t take too long, but the voice who called him sounded like Niall’s, and you knew they would want to talk for a while. 

Shawn was too busy talking to Niall to notice the growing anxiety coming from his soulmate. He didn’t even notice that you weren’t next to him. 

You tried your best to blend in, something you thought you were doing a good job of, when someone who looked very vaguely familiar tried to talk to you.  

“That dress looks quite lovely on you,” he said. 

“Thanks,” you said rather quietly. There was an awkward pause for a second and you wondered if he was waiting for you to say something else. 

“Enjoying the party?” He stepped slightly forward to let someone pass behind him. 

You stepped back to keep the space, forgetting about the table and knocking into it full force. A loud clanging noise could be heard as a few platters flew off and your eyes grew wide at the realization of what you just did. 

The man in front of you laughed but his attention was quickly called elsewhere.The people around you looked behind themselves to see what was going on. The looks of confusion and giggles probably lasted no more than a few seconds, but it was enough to send you into a full panic. 

The lights were suddenly too bright and all the noises around you jumbled into a muffle. You pressed your back against a wall as you tried to gain your composure, panicking more when you couldn’t. The music was too loud for anyone to hear your rapid breathing but you wanted nothing more than for someone to come help you; for Shawn to come help you.

“Yeah we definitely need to meet up sometime soon,” Niall said to Shawn. 

“Totally. I’m-”  He was cut off by a paralyzing burst of panic. He didn’t even have to think to know it was you. The urge to protect you came over him and he quickly excused himself from Niall to find you. 

It didn’t take long to see you standing against the wall and curling in on yourself. He felt like he couldn’t get there fast enough. There was nothing he wanted more than to take the worry away from you but it felt like there were a million people in between you. 

“Breath, Y/N, breath,” he said once he finally made it to you. Your eyes locked with his and he could see the absolute panic in them. “I’m going to take your arm so we can go outside, okay?” 

You nodded frantically, allowing Shawn to guide you to outside. The cool air was a relief but did little to calm you down. Shawn gently leaned you against a wall and put one of your hands on his chest. 

“Breath with me, sweetheart,” he said, exaggerating his breathing to help you. “You’re okay. Just focus on breathing.” 

“I’m sorry,” you muttered once you calmed down and your breathing returned to a normal rate. 

“Y/N, no. You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“But I messed up your night and-” 

“It’s not your fault. I know exactly how you feel and I promise you, it’s not your fault.” He could see from the look in your eyes that you didn’t believe him and it broke his heart. “Come here,” he said as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, one around your waist, one pressing your head to his chest. 

“I know you think it’s your fault, but you did absolutely nothing wrong,” he said lowly, leaning his head down close to your ear so you could hear him. “If anything, it’s my fault for not realizing you weren’t with me.” He felt you tense up and rubbed his hand up and down your back. “You are amazing and wonderful and so strong, Y/N. We all have our low points. Nobody is blaming you for anything.” 

You didn’t say anything and Shawn took that as a sign to stop talking. He held you in his embrace for a few minutes longer, relaxing a little when he felt your arms wrap around him. 

“Let’s get you home.” 

“You should stay.” 

“Y/N.” 

You dropped it and let him call an Uber, hugging him again once he finished. “Thank you.” 

“Anytime.” He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, and you felt yourself once again wishing he was your soulmate. 

~ 

After a long talk with Shawn the next morning, you decided to go to the doctor to get an official diagnosis. The social anxiety diagnosis also came with the recommendation of therapy. It was time to take control of your anxiety and your life.

Shawn was there for it all. Helping you through the bad days and celebrating the good ones. You were celebrating a good one today and Shawn could feel your happiness before you even walked through the door. 

“You won’t believe what I did!” You exclaimed once you were seated on the couch. “I needed this tomato sauce but I couldn’t find it anywhere in the store but I knew they had it somewhere. So instead of not getting it, I actually asked one of the people working there where it was.” 

“Good job!” The smile on his face was huge as he gave you a high-five. “Was it really that scary?” 

“Yes, but I did it, which is more important than if it’s scary.”  

He was so proud of you. It had taken a few months, but therapy was doing wonders for you. It might have been small progress, but even small progress was big progress. 

He had held off on telling you about the soulmate situation, wanting you to be in a better space before he dropped the bombshell. Now felt like a good time to do it. 

“Not to take away from you, but I have some good news myself.” 

“Tell me!” The eager look on your face made him even more nervous for some reason, but he knew he needed to do it. 

“A few months ago, I started feeling these feelings.” 

“Oh wow.” 

“Shut up,” he giggled. “They were emotions that weren’t mine. Like, they felt like someone else’s.”  

You nodded your head, having an idea of what was coming: he finally found his soulmate and it wasn’t you. 

“And at first I couldn’t figure out who they belonged to but then I met you again.” He looked up at you but your face was blank. “And then I was starting to feel feelings you were experiencing. Like you would text me about being happy and that background feeling of extra happiness would be there but I wasn’t sure if it was really you.” 

“Are you trying to test it out now?” He could see you trying to put the pieces together. 

“No, I kinda already did in a way?” You looked even more confused so he kept going. “When we went to the Grammys I could feel how anxious you were. And then we went to the party and I could feel it but it wasn’t anything that was too overwhelming. Then, I went to talk to Niall, which is when you had that panic attack, right?” 

You nodded. 

“And I was fine but then there was this really really intense second of pure panic and I just knew. Some kind of protective instinct went off in me and I just had to get to you.” 

There was a pause as he let you process what was happening. 

“Y/N, I think you’re my soulmate.” 

There was a deafening silence but Shawn was too scared to look at your face to see your reaction. 

“You really think?” 

“I know it sounds crazy but-” 

“Could we really be soulmates?” 

“. . . yes?” He finally looked at you to see a smile creeping its way along your face. 

“Holy fucking cow.” You both burst into laughter, leaning into each other as you did. 

“I’m glad it’s you,” Shawn said once your laughs turned into tiny giggles. He looked at you with a glimmer in his eyes. 

“I’m glad it’s you too.” 

[frog-fairy]

Mockup of Jun from Persona 2 in Persona 5′s style. 

It’s a damn shame they didn’t bring up the OG Joker or even the Sumaru Joker incidents in P5, because it could’ve brought in some interesting comparisons. 

AU ramblings under the cut.

Anyway, since P5 takes place in the timeline AFTER Eternal Punishment, this is still a Jun with no memories of being a persona user (for now). And since I love the AUs where he and Tatsuya adopt the p5 protagonist, I decided to run with it a lil and make him Akira’s single father. I got his age wrong in the picture because I’m bad at math, but in 2016 he’d be 34. 

His father, Akinari Kashihara, passes away soon after his graduation, causing he and his mother to revert to using her maiden name Kurosu.

Struggling with memory gaps and the ever looming sensation that something is missing, Jun adopts Akira in 2004 (when Akira is 5 and he is 22. He gets accepted due to his well paying job as a teacher).

Akira is called ‘Kurusu’ while on probation to protect his grandmother’s career and reputation as an actress. 

I like to think he’d stumble into the metaverse accidentally while on a surprise visit to Tokyo during Akira’s probation, and reawakens to Chronos when attacked by a shadow. Now coming to face the facts that his memories and reality no longer line up, Jun joins up with the Phantom Thieves occasionally to assist his son and regain the memories he’s lost. 

Eventually he regains his memories of the Other Side, and with the help of the reinstated Igor and the Thieves, restores the memories of the Tatsuya, Eikichi and Lisa.

[cadomoisspokenfor]

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 6:

Balance

Farouk later says he made all this to keep David comfortable. But then why go through the effort of having therapy sessions with anyone else? Is he just delighting in the gaslighting?

Small thing, Ptonomy’s not technically a psychic in the same way David/Farouk/Oliver are, but he does have well practiced mental abilities. I wonder if it takes more work to trick him than the others. Same for Walter I guess.

“I like to think i’m a time traveller. I can go back and back, but all I can do is... watch.” Sad and also relevant for future episodes. Thinking about it, this a pretty character defining statement for Ptonomy. Perfect recollection of all the horrible things he’s seen in the past, but never able to change anything.

Also, Farouk sat there and listened to Ptonomy’s entire story patiently and quietly. To what end?

Do Cary and Kerry still think of themselves as siblings in this simulation? Or are they just codependent friends?

So Walters problem is fragile masculinity?

Why is Syd able to see through Farouks delusion? Why doesn’t Farouk do anything about it?

I theorized once that Syd could see through it cause she knows what it’s like to be in the white room, but Ptonomy and Melanie have been in the astral plane too. And Ptonomy prides himself on knowing when he’s in reality. Could it be that Syd just has a really strong sense of self? Because of her power I mean. “Everywhere I go, I’m me.” It’s also possible Syd holds no insecurities about whether she’s psychotic or not. So when reality suddenly changes, she doesn’t just brush it off.

Is Farouk over inflating parts of Amy’s real personality, or is this just a completely inserted personality with no tangible connection to the real Amy?

This isn’t how David sees Amy, but maybe it’s how Farouk sees her, for holding David back?

Ptonomy takes Lenny’s place here. By Farouk’s design, or is it just to show similarities between their personalities? Ptonomy can be a bit cruel towards people with trauma and grief.

David no longer loves dogs.

“Paul” and not “Ptonomy”. I think it’s just a nickname, and I *think* they use it later too.

“I just feel so in control here. Like- my expectations... I’m not trying to bite off more than I can chew...” David feels most comfortable with low expectations and small and manageable goals. This feels really relevant for later.

I think Lenny here realizes she’s made David too comfortable. He’s never gonna want to leave and become a God if this keeps up. Also, his attachment to Syd keeps him from becoming what Farouk wants him to be.

On that attachment, this is maybe the most at peace we’ve ever seen and will ever see David be in the show. And he cites his relationship with Syd as the reason.

(Small note) I don’t think it’d be fair to say that David moving forward, or even David before this, not prioritizing their relationship all the time is a mistake on his part. Even though the show sorta paints it to be one, most of the time when he’s pulled away it was either to save someone in mortal danger, or to stop a global threat. David’s constantly dealing with the classic superhero dilemma, but the others don’t seem to see what they’re putting him through. Or in some cases they do and think he should just get over it. Curse of his powers I guess.

“People always talk about the depression. But it’s the other side, that... invulnerable feeling. Tha- it’s.... dangerous.” The more David gives into the thought that he is a powerful mutant who can’t be damaged by anything, the more dangerous he becomes. This one’s hard to reconcile cause it means even if he wanted to use his powers for good he couldn’t because it’s treated as a slippery-slope to him becoming a villain. Dammit, Hawley...

Farouk clearly knows what makes David happy, but continues to try pushing him into the “I am God” thing despite this. Perhaps this is what he regrets in s3? He could’ve given David exactly what he needed, but like many parents, he wanted his kid to be a miniature version of him. He thought that was what was best for him. Later he’ll realize it wasn’t.

Melanie’s airplaning her food to no one. Is she just pretending or does she actually see Oliver there? Probably the former.

Cary and Kerry’s in-syncness isn’t always all that relevant to the greater plot, but it’s always fun to see.

Farouk’s probably still trying to build up David’s subconscious hatred of Amy.

David’s real upset about the pie. This note’s not necessarily important, I just feel bad for him 🥺.

Also, Syd tried to use this as an opportunity to get out of eating cherries. Valiant effort.

Those bugs are in the white room too. Is Farouk even leaving those on purpose? Or is it more like a mental infection?

The bugs are gone when Syd and the others are looking at it, but they reappear after she sits back down.

Farouk probably hasn’t gotten to flex his powers *this strongly* in 30 years. Hence the “Feeling good” dance sequence.

The same weird thing behind the glass that was in David’s room in Chap 1 is in Syd’s room this ep.

Syd’s also having nightmares about the real world here, just like she will in s3.

I reiterate, how can Syd tell?

MAYBE, the reason Syd could tell is she’s actually been in the real Clockworks before. The rest haven’t. Well, David has, but I don’t think he *wants* to question things right now. Being with Syd in Clockworks was a real happy time for him. Syd describes it like a feeling of deja vu. It’s all reruns to her, but... slightly edited reruns. A constant feeling of “that’s not how this went.” (Small note) It should be considered that David actively resist believing in anything supernatural because of his previous diagnosis. Ans his current one too, probably.

David feels the outside world is too complicated for him. “Too loud.” “I need the routine, the grounding. I’m good.” Interestingly, Dr. Busker’s the one who tells him the outside side worlds not cut out for everybody. Seems counterintuitive to her/Farouk’s goals.

David’s completely comfortable with growing old and dying in a mental hospital. This wasn’t the case at the start of Chap 1. I think the only thing that changed was Syd came into his life.

“I can’t stay here.”

“Not even for me?”

David’s relationship with Syd makes him feel happy and safe and comfortable, but Syd can’t stagnate. She assumedly has dreams outside of David or anything going on with Summerland. *Assumedly* since we’re not necessarily shown what those might be. (There is that alternate timeline where we see her in the back of a limi driving past homeless David)

This is all to say, their lives right now are too busy for them to sit down and talk about it, but there are hints that their long-term relationship goals are incompatible with each other.

It’s not brought up a lot but Kerry has a lot of chemical and prescription terms memorized. Probably from paying attention during Cary’s career, but still, it does make me wonder how she knows so little about other aspects of life in s2.

According to www.uofmhealth.org “Clozapine is an antipsychotic medicine that is used to treat schizophrenia after other treatments have failed.”

(Small aside for drug talk) [According to www.rxlist.com “Effexor (venlafaxine) is an antidepressant used for treatment of major depression.”

Those are the 2 drugs Cary and Kerry say Syd might be on. Said in response to Syd talking about the strange dreams she’s been having.

One of the listed side effects of Effexor is “strange dreams.”

Clozapine has a lot of things listed but I don’t see anything about effecting dreams. I do see drowsiness and muscle problems listed though, and Syd looks like she trips a bit before starting to talk about her dream.]

I didn’t realize on previous watches that Cary and Kerry both had Oliver related dreams. Cary saw the ice cube, and Kerry saw “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.” Probably in reference to the diving suit.

Melanie in Mental Clockworks acts very similar to Melanie throughout s2. I’d go as far to say they’re the same. Perhaps Farouk is just overemphasizing already present parts of their personalities. When driven to this point Melanie’s willing to do or believe anything that will bring Oliver back. In s2 this mindset will be intentionally orchestrated by Farouk, then subsequently exploited for the cave conversation.

Is Walter interested in Kerry because he subconsciously recognizes her as the girl he shot before?

When Cary’s first brought into the astral plane he’s in the middle of a forest. Could this symbolize the forest around David’s old house? David also had to make a journey before getting to where Oliver was located. Though I can’t remember what he was surrounded by when he came in.

If Syd’s not in there because she doesn’t want to be touched, then why did David still do the pillow divider thing when they were in bed together?

Syd was stored in David’s memories of his childhood bedroom.

Ptonomy’s powers give off a very “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” vibe. I think this is also the last time we see him in mental clockworks.

Walter definitely goes for power above all else.

Syd got locked behind that door she was so curious about.

Amy says some real targeted stuff here. She plays directly into David’s insecurities. If what she says is supposed to represent David’s deepest fears, than it would seem being unloved or underserving of love is the worst thing in the world to him. “You’re unwanted.” It feels doubly sad cause Amy visiting him in the hospital was probably what kept him going all those years without Syd. Lenny was nice but she... was also being treated.

Melanie prays.

Is it the actual Oliver that appears to Melanie at first? Whoever they are, they leave immediately after instructing her to somehow save David and Syd. It could be possible that Oliver did that to get a head start on it while he brought Cary up to speed.

Whenever someone questions his and Syd’s relationship, David’s only response is a defensive “We’re in love.”

Farouk’s sick of trying to indirectly manipulate David to his will and just starts outright venting about how he doesn’t get “love.”

This is also the first person-to-person philosophical discussion between David and Farouk.

Farouk also doesn’t get being “happy” and “fulfilled.” How sad.

Lenny says “Daaaviiiiiiiid” in the same way that Clark does.

Farouk calls himself a fungus here. If he’s using the previous metaphor, he means to say he’s feeding off David’s power and is eventually gonna burst out of his head, killing him in the process. (Added a few seconds after) I forgot he literally shows David that that’s what he means, lol.

Farouk’s downplaying his emotional connection to David here, claiming to only want to team with him for boosted power. But he does also say “I’m trying to help you.” I think this whole scene might be Farouk’s way of saying “Either you finally hatch and become a God, or I leave you behind to die. There are no other options.”

Again, Farouk knows what makes David happy and can’t accept that cause it’s not what he wants out of David. He’ll regret this later.

“Oh, you pretty things! Don’t you know you’re driving your mama’s and papa’s insane? Let me make it plain, gotta make way for the homo superior!” “Homo superior” in Marvel comics is another name for mutants. And David being the most powerful mutant in show would mean he’s the most “superior” of the homo superiors. Farouk locks his mind away for not realizing that. I guess he’s the “papa” in this scenario.

The lyrics to “Oh! You pretty things”in general is relevant to what’s going on at this point in the story.

Another line in particular sticks out, “Look out at your children. See their faces in golden rays. Don’t kid yourself, they belong to you. They’re the start of a coming race.” Farouk tries to essentially disown David at the end of this episode, but the song says “don’t kid yourself.” Farouk will eventually come to think of David as his son. A son that he knows he failed. Not yet though.

[beni-draw-ikemen-please]

Kintsugi ~ Repairing with Gold

Kintsugi ~ Repairing with Gold  ◆ Ikemen Vampire Fanfiction ◆

CHAPTER 3 - TWO SUNS

Words: 4, 596

TW: Angst and Hurt ◆ References to Depression ◆ Mental Instability ◆ Mental Health Issues ◆ Implied/Referenced Suicide ◆ Suicidal Thoughts ◆ Graphic Depictions of Sex/Intercourse ◆ Vaginal Sex/Fingering ◆ Rough Sex ◆ Non-con

Pairings: M/F  Leonardo Da Vinci x Seiya Amanogawa [OC] / Comte de Saint-Germain x Seiya Amanogawa [OC]

Chapter Index [ 1 ]  [ 2 ]  [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]

                               ━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

A/N: This work of fiction is Canon x OC. For some reason everything is coming to me but I have no idea how to structure this properly, let alone beta >.< But still, if you made it this far, thank you for reading! Here’s chapter 3, fresh from AO3. 

                                             KINTSUGI - CHAPTER 3

                                                         Two Suns

                                      ━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Seiya couldn’t remember why, but she remembered being fully awake on a Tuesday, 3:32 am and she just hauled herself yet again across the globe. 

A new apartment, a new life, another clean slate. For the fifth, or was it sixth, time in her life. 

She remembered her empty apartment, just outside Amsterdam, barely a futon and any cooking pans in possession. It was cold, but it was a new beginning and new beginnings settled her nerves. It was familiar. 

The moving, the starting -- she accustomed herself to these things, sort of like a reversed coping mechanism. Adjusting and adapting to a new place, a new environment, a whole new country was something she could do without even trying.

She was exhausted. Tired from all the big cities. 

She remembered booking a last-minute flight to Paris, and then visiting the Louvre for the sole reason of finding inspiration. She had been working non stop, and she came to Paris hoping to revive whatever creative soul or confidence she had before the past five years. 

It felt like the crowd never ceased and it took almost all of her strength and willpower to go around the people who were barely looking at the paintings. 

She remembered being exhausted, and securing a bench just outside the Da Vinci hall. 

And she remembered stopping, not particularly minding or observing a piece but stopping to draw something down her notebook. 

And the next thing she knew, the bright museum day turned into a star-lit sky. Darker than what she’s accustomed to, behind widows that stretched as high as the ceilings, wine red curtains framing the peculiar view in sight. A thick dark forest just outside what looked like a giant mansion gate. 

She forgot a whole list of things as the man clad in gold explained the rules and basics of the mansion, and her month-long wait before she could go home. 

It wasn’t particularly different from what she’d experienced before. 

Another place? Another move? Only now, it’s another time. 

Seiya didn’t really remember much, she barely got acquainted with her new apartment, and she wasn’t particularly attached to anything yet after she prepared herself to move and leave everything that’s been established in her life. A career that barely sustained her creativity; wore her energy and self-esteem down. People who only hung around because of her work, or because it was convenient at that exact place, exact time. There were no farewell parties on her behalf. 

It was as if she quietly slipped through the back door, continued to run and run and run until she was on the other side of the world. Not knowing anyone, not receiving any other calls as to why she left, no emergency contact in her wallet. Nobody. Nothing new, really. 

And yet, for the briefest moment, as she focused on him — lush locks of gold that seemed to glow and shine under the masterful lighting of the museum, and the meticulously-placed lamps within the mansion — she saw a man whom she’d hoped to be someone in her life. 

The count smiled at her, careful with his words but never mincing them around her. She felt no threat, no ill intent coming from him, and immediately, she told her heart to settle down. She could  — at least, she really hoped to  — trust this man who called himself Le Comte. Maybe, this was the reason why she followed him that day, in the Louvre. When he chuckled faintly and softly behind her back as she scribbled what she thought would be a fitting portrait of Leonardo Da Vinci himself, all tension that accumulated in her neck and shoulders seemed to melt away at the sound of his voice. 

He complimented her, saying Leonardo himself would approve of the portrait, however silly and childish her scribble looked. He said it was an accurate depiction of him. Seiya didn’t know if he was being honest, or if he was just making fun of her. But she didn’t peg him, a man dressed like a gentleman —an elegant light mohair suit and golden cufflinks — as someone who would go by so casually only to make fun of ladies wandering inside museum halls. But she had to admit, making small talk with him felt pleasant and comforting. Her first conversation in days. 

She wasn’t the type to open up so easily to strangers, let alone, let them peak inside her pocket Moleskine. But something about him, the gold of his eyes, something that reminded her of time, and something forgotten —something old and true and important—called to her and swept her off her feet. 

Enough to lure her into opening the door to an alternate timeline. An alternate universe. Where creatures of the night were made up of the greatest names in history. This was their domain. His domain and she was a visitor. And yet he was gracious enough to provide for her, much to her surprise. Why would someone like him care about someone like her? She always questioned it. And, as she learned more and more about the mansion, the household and the residents, she found herself watching the count. Anticipating when he’ll be back, what he’ll be needing next, and how she can be a part of it. 

Seiya remembered when she felt the need to draw something. For the first time in a long time, to actually sit down and make something for herself. Make something that’s not dictated by some middle-aged, kitsch cretin. Just something for herself. Something she could hold on to, whilst she lived the dream of being scooped up from her own reality and into a world of vampires, enchantment, and time travel. Who could have thought? Who could have imagined? She most certainly did, many times, many days, all those years. 

Seiya didn’t feel like anyone wanted her, really. A home was something her parents once paid for; allowance usually automatically being credited to her account. Holidays that were empty, birthdays without anyone, achievements unrecognised. It didn’t take long for her to realise that these people, who were supposed to care for her, were simply waiting for her to be old enough so they can let her be without being frowned upon by society. She quickly learned that all those years of moving and adjusting, readjusting and adapting— her so-called talent— left her with almost no one to turn to. 

No foundations. 

No shared experiences that forged true friendships. 

Nobody. 

You leave, and people feel sad, and they forget about you. 

People move on.

Or people just leave.

People move on.

They forget about you, and they move on.

A mantra she’d recite every time she decided to move again and again and again. 

The beginnings excited her, and opportunities were always present for those who were willing to take the risk. Opportunity was this haughty goddess she was now very much acquainted with. But she had no one to call to share the good news. No one to celebrate the good days with. And the bad days — the bad days were heavy and ruthless — bad days would stay for days, weeks, years. 

So, when the count explained that she’ll have to stay for a month, maybe more, Seiya felt relief seep through her veins. The tension on her shoulders and back dissipated, and for a while, she almost fully stopped clenching her jaw.

Being around him helped her feel at ease. She never had anyone to rely on, up until Leonardo. When he promised he'd look out for monsters and watch her door until she fell asleep, she felt something she never felt before. A sense of security. 

 Leonardo offered more than just a brief sense of security. For Seiya, he felt like a safe room, and she, though she does not notice it herself, was acting more and more like herself around him. Truer to herself than she could ever imagine herself to be. Because of Leonardo, and those days they spent quietly together, the evenings when they both retire together, she began to see a clearer image of who she really is and how she can live her life without the restrictions and the prejudice of the modern world she was so used to.  

The modern world is filled with mannerly empty phrases, words that seem to zigzag away further from the truth. Communication was done in a blink of an eye, but all other meanings— meanings that truly mattered— were lost even before the button was pressed. 

He must have felt uncomfortable sleeping outside her door, though. She thought. 

Seiya wasn’t sure why and what force of nature brought it back, but she felt an ounce of confidence lift her hand to catch the hem of his coat just as he was leaving. How beautiful he looked, she thought. Not at all close to that chibi drawing she did whilst sitting by that bench in the Louvre. But just as her glass-blue eyes were focusing on him and how the golden light seemed to amplify his innate glow, she saw the count’s face, clear as day, flashing before her eyes.

She felt her throat dry, at the sight of Leonardo’s eyes. The same gold as Comte’s. The same distant, unearthly, gold smoked by time, and maybe eternity herself. 

Was that the reason why she invited him to her bed?

Because his eyes resembled the count’s? 

Seiya remembered Leonardo’s weight shifting her bed as she waited for him to settle down. It had been years since she slept with someone. And the last time she did, she became incredibly attached. When you get used to living and being content with your own company, anyone else who breaches your space feels uncomfortable, until you unlearn the true meaning of solitude, until you start leaning onto that person, until you start being attached, dependent. 

Seiya knew what it was like to be alone with her own thoughts. She kept most things to herself and barely interacted. But when one person tried to get past her defenses, she gave in. She let down her guard and soon enough, she was crumbling, ready to give anything, her everything to this person at any given word. 

She knew what it was like to give her everything only to be left alone. 

She knew better. People won’t reciprocate. 

She should have known better. And yet,

And yet, she allowed herself the comforts of Leonardo’s company. The rhythm of his husked breathing was a lullaby she so desperately memorised, so once he is gone—by the time she is to return home—once the spell is broken and she is back to her own world, her own reality, she can sing herself to sleep. With his face in mind. With the image of his dark brown locks slowly fading into an ashen hue, locks that covered and framed his face that slept so serenely next to her. As if she wasn’t a stranger to this house.

Just so she wouldn’t have to rely on anyone, ever again. Not ever. 

But Seiya underestimated the romance that 19th century Paris brought, and along with it came the renaissance man. 

He was especially good with his hands, she noticed. And she found comfort in them. They were warm and larger than her own, and they easily found hers whenever she was unsure where to go, what to do, what to say. Her fingers found safety and solace between his gloved ones, and slowly, very slowly, she caught herself able to touch him freely. Leonardo touched her often, too. And Seiya did not mind, no. 

It was new, at least to her. It was different. It was a treasure she was adamant to keep around her. A soothing companion, a calming presence, a safe haven, all these things meant Leonardo in her heart’s dictionary. But something inside her doubted this dream. Doubted the comfort of his touch and if she was the one who was deserving of it. She felt, at times, like a fraud. 

Odly enough, they could communicate well, though she felt confused and uncomfortable whenever he would grumble, maybe even curse in Italian. But after a while, she grew accustomed to his quirks, even picked up a few Italian swear words. It made the count frown, but it made Leonardo smile the biggest smile she ever saw him smile. Leonardo, at least to her, was like the sun. 

A radiant and roaring presence, even if he tried his best to lay low, even often slouched when he walked, but no one could deny the presence that was Leonardo. Seiya liked that about him. Her life, for the longest time, felt like a dark room with just her in it. And she— at least to herself— believed she liked being in the dark. She was able to convince herself, throughout the years that it was cool, and calming, and no one could touch her there. It’s safe there. No one could hurt her. No one could leave her. No one could disrupt this oasis she’s built for herself, albeit the lack of light. Everything she needed, she could buy, she could get her hands on. Except for a warm, inviting and soothing source of light. 

Comte, to her, looked and felt like the sun, too. Far away, unreachable and untouchable. The brightest treasure to everything it supports, everything it touches. A gem on the horizons that pull her to her feet in the morning, and one that gently whispers goodbye as it hides itself back.

 But Leonardo was a different kind of sun. Leonardo was the sun you could embrace. The sun on midday, that dries the white sheets hanging behind the mansion. The crisp scent of cleanliness and warmth all tangled together inside the consumable, describable word of fabric. 

The sun that keeps your heart warm. Like the stained glass colourless sun that would seep between the leaves of the trees as you walk along the forest. Like the warmth you feel while you’re immersed in a novel, laying by the grass without a care in the world. 

The sun that kissed your cheeks pink, planting loving marks on the bridge of your nose and your shoulders.That sun is now slowly bringing that warm light inside her dark room. 

There was no way for Seiya to stop the light. She tried to, half-heartedly. Something inside her wanted that light, wanted that warmth. But she already made up her mind and her heart, not to yearn and not to ask for things she cannot have. In this case, in Leonardo’s case, something shifted within Seiya’s world. And it all came together with the lingering scent of velvet cigarillos, the faint smell of leather, and wood, and something metallic but sweet when it hits the tongue. Something dark, and something light, all at the same time. Everything that made up the renaissance man and more— indescribably luscious and sensuous even to someone who has their guard actively up. 

                                             ══════ ∘◦❁◦∘ ══════

Sebastian would notice how their new resident would ask if she could bring Comte’s meals up to his study. And, when given the chance, if she could be the one to welcome him home. Sebastian noticed the smile on her face whenever she was tasked to take Comte’s coat. Or, when he finds her with some free time in the afternoon, the blush on her cheeks when he would invite her to share some sweets over a fresh pot of tea. 

Sebastian thought it was adorable of Seiya to follow the count around whenever she had the chance. And, Sebas being himself, would reward Seiya for finishing her chores with more tasks - picking up things Comte asked for. Getting his favourite macarons and picking new tea leaves so she and Sebastian could blend a new flavour for the next day. 

When she could, she would bring back flowers for his room and his study. Yellow chrysanthemums, sometimes white. They reminded her of home, but also reminded her of him.   And she would make sure there were always fresh flowers whenever Comte was around. It was for him, though she would not say anything in words, Sebastian knew she was putting them up for the count. 

And he would notice this red leather book wrapped in black lace whenever she was working in the kitchen or carrying the residents’ meals. It would be next to her by the counter, or at the bottom of her trolley whenever she lunged it around the mansion. 

Sebastian too, had his own secret notebook where he writes his observations, the quirks he’s learned from the residents and research. But something about Seiya’s book intrigued him. But he would always brush it off, telling himself that a lady is entitled to her own privacy. 

Seiya didn’t say much around the other residents, except for Isaac and Vincent, but to Sebastian’s dismay, he was stuck with all her questions. 

Sometimes, she would just throw them at him like a curveball. With a straight face, whilst they polish the silverwares or refill the blanc bottles. 

“Why do they have to eat so much food?”

“If I sliced a finger off, would it grow back?” 

“Why do they sleep? Aren’t they supposed to be nocturnal?”

“Can they smell us like how other animals can?” 

Sebastian then learned that Seiya was simply curious and to her, she was entitled to answers if her means of travel home was inoperable, prolonging her stay in the mansion. 

She didn’t seem too displeased with that fact. And now, it had been more than a month since she travelled through the door. 

“Can they,” Seiya paused for a moment, a new question at the ready. Sebastian’s skillful hands kept with the polishing of the silverware. It was quiet as they both slowly settled the objects down. “Can they feel pleasure, like how humans do?” 

Her eyes stayed on the shine of the fork she’s been polishing. And Sebastian’s eyes focused on her hands as he waited for a follow up question. She’s heard Arthur mention this before. How a vampire’s bite can be nothing like any kind of pleasure humans can fathom. But she wanted to know, truly, if a kiss, an embrace, or just being against someone’s back gave the same kind of satisfaction and pleasure as it would give a normal human. 

“Vampires are not so different from us, Seiya-san.” Sebastian’s hands continued the work as he cleared his throat. Continuing his sentence made Seiya’s curious eyes look up at him, her pale hair, now tied into a loose bun behind her, gave him a better view of the expression on her face. 

A childlike curiosity blinked several times before he could finish his sentence. And the colour of the sky slowly widening before him as he assured Seiya that yes, vampires do feel pleasure like humans do. Not entirely the same, but it’s there. 

Seiya wore a meek and triumphant smile as she continued with her work. Sebastian was happy to teach, and help her, any way he could though they are from different timelines from the future, they grew incredibly closer. They spoke Japanese to each other, and when Dazai fancied joining in on their traditional tea ceremonies. 

She felt at home around them. Somehow, they accepted her, jaded and broken as she was, she was welcomed by the most unusual crowd. But she liked that. How they were all patched together, irregularities and quirks and all. Somehow, it all works out, and everyone lives in harmony and comfort. 

She saw it first hand, the warmth within the mansion, albeit the frequent tension. Everyone, somehow, accepted one another. Perhaps being brought back to life by Comte proved to be a necessary common ground. Perhaps, he was the one who kept the household together. 

Seiya didn’t understand it, until she started attending society balls and parties as Le Comte’s companion. 

The brilliance and radiance that is Le Comte de Saint-Germain is not limited to the walls of the mansion. Everyone wanted to meet him. Everyone wanted a moment of his time. Everyone wanted to shake his hand. The women so desperately asked and waited for a chance to dance with him. 

She remembers it well, that night. When the light of the lamps burned somewhat brighter for them, Leonardo asked about the meaning behind her name. Seiya never saw anyone so excited whilst she wrote these characters that make up her name. 

 As she settled her pen and showed him the characters, his gold eyes slowly shifted from the characters she’s written down, to her face. 

Her lips. 

She wasn’t able to notice the shift in weight, but his hand, somehow, ended up on her neck. She could feel herself trembling. 

Him, a creature of the night, with his hand on her sweet spot—the place where vampires sunk their teeth in movies she’s watched over and over again. Her eyes found herself in his as they closed the gap between them. Something about the way he pressed his weight down her neck and shoulders that tempted her to surrender her heart, even though she was in fact warned through a dream, an apparition, not to. 

“Leonardo,” her lips barely forming his name as a whisper, a prayer, a wish perhaps. She wanted to know why he was so eager to tend to her needs and why he would reach out to her, at random times during the day or mid conversation. Why his eyes felt so heavy whenever they settled on her. And why, he was holding her like this right now. 

Why now, Leonardo? She thought. 

All thoughts and questions seemed to disappear when their lips met. The taste of him, entirely new and yet somewhat expectedly familiar to her. Cigarillos, and somehow, sweet like apples. Lips so light on hers, she even questioned if they were really there. But, after a moment, his hesitation dissolved into a deeper, hotter, heady kiss. His mouth was rough, and yet smooth as his lips glide with hers. Tongue licking her lips down, and then down her chin and then back up, back to her lips and finding its way entwined with hers. She felt hunger from him, and she felt a chill down her spine. 

But Leonardo pulled away, panting. His eyes hesitated to look at her after leaving her in that state. Lips so desperately kissed and flushed. Cheeks red as his favourite apples and eyes misted with unanswered questions. 

He managed to mutter an apology, but Leonardo was surprised when he felt Seiya tug his collar and soon, her lips were once again crashing with his, only this time, she was able to show him that there was no need for hesitation. Not from him, not from her, ever. 

And so it began. This peculiar thing they did. A comforting ritual, perhaps. They would retreat in her room, sometimes his. And more often than not, the library. Seiya could imagine the scowl on Mozart’s face whenever they knocked a pile of books as they kissed. Or whenever they’d forget to fold the blankets they brought with them whenever they felt like reading by the fire. But in a sense, she felt happiness in his arms. A shriveled sort of happiness that came with the comfort and security that was Leonardo da Vinci himself. His hands always behind the small of her back, guiding her through; hands and arms pulling her close to him whenever he felt like, not that she mind, no. 

There was solace and tranquility in his voice whenever he spoke to her and reassured her he was around. She never had anyone in her life that guarded her like a prized jewel. Not anyone who made sure she knew they were around. Not anyone, unfortunately, to treat her the way Leonardo treated her. 

And everyone noticed. 

The special treatment wasn’t intended to be kept a secret. Somehow, Leonardo now can’t be found half-dead or asleep like a log someplace where people could step on him. Oddly enough, to Mozart’s satisfaction, and in the very rare occasion he would peek through Leonardo’s room, he found not chaos but a semi-organised mess. He would be where Seiya was. And he would be watching her, attending to her, making sure she was safe, comfortable and smiling. 

They were quiet. A quiet couple who barely said words to each other. But what couldn’t be said with words, they made up for with their hands and lips and sighs. Vincent would often be the last person she would be hanging around with before Leonardo finally picked her up for the evening. 

“I thought you liked Leonardo,” Vincent’s voice was hesitant, as he sat down with her by the bench near the gate of the mansion. It was dark and dusk already gnawed the day away, the glow of the moon reflecting on her pale hair. Vincent almost always found a way towards her. Their eyes seemed like signals to one another, the same crystal-clear kind of blue. The bluest of spring blue sky. 

He didn’t like seeing her like this, tears rolling down her cheeks. 

He truly believed that Seiya was fond of Leonardo. Until of course, they would have these episodes. He would walk in, and he would take her notebook away. And they would argue. It happened twice already, and until now, Vincent is unsure if he should be used to these antics already. 

He was most certain that Leonardo only wanted what’s best for Seiya. At least when they are together, that’s how it looked like. To him, to any of the residents. To Sebastian, to Comte. 

Seiya took a deep breath, after a moment of silence as Vincent asked her the question. Her hands willingly opening the book that had been thrown, and picked and wrapped in black lace. 

“I do love Leonardo,” her voice was hoarse and her lips trembled as she slowly spoke those words. It was as if they were only revealing themselves to her now, with him. The priced treasure that was the contents of her dear leather-bound book and her confession caught Vincent off guard. His hands gently picking up the book as she handed it to him. Her head lowered, pale hair falling down the side of her face like a shimmering sheer curtain against the backdrop of the night sky and moon. 

Vincent’s eyes focusing on the pages, his hands tracing over illustrations, sketches and sketches and sketches of him. Vincent took a deep breath, and Seiya waited for him to take in everything. He could’ve sworn he heard her whisper an apology in between sobs. 

Vincent did not say anything, but he sat closer to her and listened as she cried the last bit of tears she could that night. Vincent understood now, why. And he felt his heart full at the thought of Seiya, drawing away her feelings for this man. 

The way her cheeks lifted every time she finished a drawing. The blush on her cheeks as she tucks a small piece of folded paper in one of those makeshift paper pockets. His heart ached for her, and all he could offer was his hand. Seiya squeezed his hand, and he understood, somehow, it was her thank you. The most unusual person he ever met, even more unusual than Gaugin, and all those eclectic peculiar artists. 

His friend loved this man. And he could really only hope for the best. 

-To be continued-

[bleachbigbang]

Bleach Big Bang 2021 Fic Summaries!

Writing samples for each fic attached. 

Fic #01 || Sample

Rating: Explicit

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Kurosaki Ichigo, Urahara Kisuke, Aizen Sousuke

Main Pairings: Urahara Kisuke/Kurosaki Ichigo || Aizen Sousuke/Kurosaki Ichigo

Additional Warnings: BDSM, suicidal thoughts, probably bad self-care, dark thoughts, bad BDSM etiquette, Dom/sub

No matter which mastermind stood behind the plan, when Lady Fate is a bitch who doesn't like to follow what others say. 

They planned to go back and change the past, to have a better future. 

They planned everything carefully, three masterminds, and a brute force. 

They planned but everything went wrong. 

Only one person arrived back in time in another timeline. He was alone, without his soul mate, without any help from the masterminds. Will he be able to change the future alone? Will Lady Bitch Fate let him? But wait... Why is that thing there? That shouldn't be possible! 

The beginning already changed, why is it there? Why does it still happen? 

“Foolish Mortal, there are things that will remain the same, no matter what you do. Can you change the future without knowing what are the invariable happenings in time? Will you be able to find your happiness, while you keep helping others to find theirs? I am curious about it, but Mortal, I’m Lady Fucking Fate, I love chaos.”

-----

Fic #02 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: Major Character Death

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Ogichi Shirosaki (Hollow Ichigo), Grimmjow Jeagerjaques

Main Pairings: Ichigo Kurosaki/Ogichi Shirosaki 

Additional Warnings: Reincarnation. Major character death might happen more than once. Heavy cultural reference and possible historical manipulation, mesoamerican focused. ((AKA: if you're racist/have trouble with inaccuracies, think twice))

He doesn't know why was he born into this world. His life has been nothing but pain, always feeling out of place and never in sync with his people and "friends", and once he became an exile, he really felt like there was nothing left for him in this life. That was until he met the God that would give meaning to his existence, and become his reason to fight. "Shiro", now Ichtalcoatl's warrior, feels like everything he has endured was for this moment, and he wouldn't exchange it for anything. 

Except, all evil happens for a reason, and there are many truths to be uncovered from Shiro's past, giving meaning to this eternal karma and the never-ending cycle of pain. This is the tale of the final trial Shiro must endure to be worthy of the Sun itself.

Gods/Demigods AU, ft. Quetzalcoatl Ichigo.

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Fic #03 || Sample 

Rating: Teen 

Content Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Rukia Kuchiki, Renji Abarai, Byakuya Kuchiki, Kenpachi Zaraki, Visored, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, Ulquiorra Cifer, Aizen Sousuke, Other Bleach characters

Main Pairings: None / Undecided

Additional Warnings: Swearing, Mild Violence, Mild Gore, Canon Divergence

Ichigo is special, he's always been. From the moment he managed to become a Soul reaper, to when he obtained unlikely powers and achieved inhuman deeds, he's always had that natural talent to go beyond the limits. However, his true strength lies not in his latent abilities, but in the charm he wasn't even aware he had. His ultimate power was not his bankai, nor his hollowfication; it was his power to move people's hearts, sway them towards him, and somehow make those who wanted to kill him become his most loyal allies. Or, instead of merely befriending everyone he fought, Ichigo unknowingly builds an army of people who will die for him and change destiny itself in order to protect their one, true king.

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Fic #04 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Kurosaki Ichigo, Kisuke Urahara, Yasutora Sado

Main Pairings: None / Undecided

Additional Warnings: Teacher AU, DID, Alternating POVs, Supernatural Elements, No Shinigami AU

Ichigo moves to Karakura after an abrupt shift in career. There, he meets faces both familiar (his friend Chad is teaching music) and not (he doesn’t know what’s up with that Urahara guy but for a maths teacher he's not that bad). As the newest teacher in the school, and the least experienced at it, Ichigo decides not to make waves and to let himself fade into the background. Unfortunately, his friendship with the maths teacher seems to drag him into plots that are far outside of anything he’s ever known.

NOTE: I'm really flexible as far as the plot goes and willing to work with the artist if there are any particular elements they'd like to incorporate

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Fic #05 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Kisuke Urahara, Rukia Kuchiki, Tessai Tsukabishi, Yoruichi Shihōin, Ichigo Kurosaki

Main Pairings: No romantic relationships; Pre-UraYoruTess; 

Kisuke has feelings for both Tessai and Yoruichi but that won't develop into anything during this fic though I have plans for UraYoruTess & TatsuHime in a sequel. 

Additional Warnings: N/A

There was a soul reaper who was assigned to Karakura town. There was a human who could see ghosts. There was a hollow who wanted to eat. Thus, the sword of fate fell, But the sword did not hit the ground when the soul reaper transferred her powers to the human. For there was a shopkeeper who still had a decision to make Kisuke decides to tell Rukia about the hogyoku and Aizen. They start working together to take down Aizen.

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Fic #06 || Sample

Rating: Teen 

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters:  Urahara Kisuke, Kurosaki Ichigo, Hirako Shinji

Main Pairings: Shinji Hirako/Urahara Kisuke, Urahara Kisuke/Kurosaki Ichigo 

Additional Warnings: N/A

After the Visored were changed, Kisuke had a multitude of theories. One of those was that they might still be contagious. A slip during training proves that theory, and now he has to get his own hollow side under control with the help of his friends. As always, that's easier said than done, given that Kisuke's hollow is as odd as he is.

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Fic #07 || Sample

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Hollow Ichigo 

Main Pairings: Past Hollow Ichigo/Kurosaki Ichigo

Additional Warnings: Flashbacks, Heavy Betrayal, Psychological Trauma, PTSD, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Toxic Relationship

Ichigo -- or what he assumes his name is -- doesn't expect to wake up to the poverty-stricken Rukongai. Without a clue as to where he is or how he ended up there, he meets another amnesiac lost soul, who calls himself Shiro (name pending tbh). However, lurking beneath the two of them is a storm of betrayal waiting to be unleashed.

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Fic #08 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply 

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Hollow Ichigo

Main Pairings: Hollow Ichigo/Kurosaki Ichigo

Additional Warnings: Very fluff, much cute

“We've been childhood friends all this time. I think I would know when you aren't enjoying yourself with someone,” Shiro stated, tilting his head further into his palm to assess Ichigo's reaction.

“It's ... It's not going to be like that, okay? Maybe he'll turn out better than you think,” He countered, causing Shiro to sigh under his breath. While Ichigo hesitantly stuffed the thoughtless gift from his new boyfriend in his bag, Shiro could only watch. He couldn't help but wonder when it'd be his turn to make him happy.

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Fic #09 || Sample

Rating: Explicit

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Momo Hinamori

Main Pairings: Momo Hinamori/Izuru Kira/Shuuhei Hisagi/Renji Abarai

Additional Warnings: Alcoholism, Past Abusive Relationships.

Continuation of All that draws us together (AO3) 

Momo knows all the ups and downs of life and love, yet she rides it again and again. Sometime after the battle against Wandenreich, Momo invites Izuru out. 

From there begins a maelstrom of confusion hurt, and eventually, the loving partnership of her, Izuru, Renji, and Shuuhei.

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Fic #10 || Sample

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Main Characters: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Ichigo Kurosaki

Main Pairings: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez/Kurosaki Ichigo 

Additional Warnings: Body Horror, Body Dysmorphia

Ichigo is the most advanced CyberLife Android to date. A prototype. A test model. Incomplete. Grimmjow smiles, and it's not biting. It's more. Painful. There is nothing physically wrong with Ichigo, and yet his chest aches at the sight. "You're my partner, Ichigo. A whole person. You always have been."

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Fic #11 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence

Main Characters: Kurosaki Ichigo, Gotei Captains, Kamado Tanjirou (KnY)

Main Pairings: None (Gen)

Additional Warnings: Suicidal Ideation

Bleach x Kimetsu no Yaiba crossover. In which all their deaths were in vain, and Muzan lived, and the Gotei are the Demon Slayer Corps in the modern world.

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Fic #12 || Sample

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Underage

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Shinji Hirako, Kisuke Urahara, minor appearances by Rukia and Co.

Main Pairings: Shinji Hirako/Ichigo Kurosaki

Additional Warnings: Ambiguous Morality, Dark Ichigo, Ichigo Eats Souls, Hurt/Comfort 

[some tags might be added, but these are the bulk of the story]

Ichigo’s excuse of a broken soul is not enough to keep him going, and an assassination attempt brings to light just how deep the problem goes.

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Fic #13 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Rukia Kuchiki

Main Pairings: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez/Rukia Kuchiki

Additional Warnings: N/A

Grimmjow doesn't think he's coming out of this alive. 

A drabble fic. 

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Fic #14 || Sample 

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: No Archive Warning Apply

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Yasutora “Chad” Sado, Orihime Inoue, Uryuu Ishida, Rukia Kuchiki, Keigo Asano, Mizuiro Kojima, Tatsuki Arisawa, Renji Abarai, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

Main Pairings: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez/Kurosaki Ichigo

Additional Warnings: N/A

The group had settled on blankets by the bay as the fireworks went off in the distance, the booms, cracks, and sparkles of them could be heard clearly. As they all watched, they got close to each other and kept warm on their shared blankets, friends, or couples, they didn’t care. Grimmjow and Ichigo, Chad and Orihime, Renji and Rukia, Mizuiro and Keigo shared their blankets as pairs, but Uryuu and Tatsuki had their own little spots on their blankets.

They had traveled to America for the school year as transfer students in South Texas and this was the first time that they had seen fireworks like this outside of the tv, and they were the best experience that they have had since being there, thus far. Grimmjow, Keigo, Rukia, and Renji were off in the distance cheering while their partners and friends smiled and watched them as the finale of the fireworks were going off on the boardwalk.

After the fireworks ended, they all picked up their blankets and bags of used small sparklers and party poppers that they had bought beforehand from the Kroger that was close to their host parents’ houses the day before.

[a-mitchell-named-jordan]

Couple fan theory ideas comin' atcha here -

Be Cool, Scooby Doo!:

In the series, there are a couple places where it's referenced that the show may be taking place in surprising and unexpected timelines.

How?

In the episode "Sorcerer Snack Scare", they explicitly change the name of the product "Sorcerer Snacks" (aka, the best snacks in the world that Scooby and Shaggy would do ANYTHING for) to "Scooby Snacks", hence pointing to the origin of them, and in the Original Mysteries they're just sort of intrinsic - like they existed when they first started solving mysteries.

The more convoluted reference; in the episode "Be Cold, Scooby Doo", Daphne mentions to Shaggy that the gang brought Shaggy to Sunny Side Ski Resort because they wanted him to have a nice "first experience" with snow.

THEORY 1:

Less likely, but still fun to entertain - that "Be Cool, Scooby Doo!" takes place after "A Pup Named Scooby Doo", BUT BEFORE the Original Mysteries (and subsequently the rest of the series) since in "APNSD" ("A Pup...") they're still children, but once grown to their current, seemingly timeless or sempiternal ages as teens, that would place them into the story line of "BCSD" ("Be Cool..."). Now account for the change in product name, and it places them before the OM.

While this theory is very mildly viable, it's less believable since one has to take into account both small and big details - small ones being, for example, time-relative changes like technology and pop-culture references, and linguistic markers like changes in idioms and slang terminology; one could make an argument that all of these could coexist if the dates of when the series were made weren't taken into account, and thus compressing the timelines would make it (ever so slightly) possible (+). Big details would include an antithesis to reference 2, stating that of course Shaggy has experienced snow! In the "APNSD" episode "Snow Place Like Home", it's obviously a winter episode, which does debunk theory 1, unless you want to make a shotty "regression and amnestic impairment caused Shaggy to forget he ever played in or saw snow" argument, since the rest of the gang experienced it as well, and mass regression or amnesia is practically statistically impossible; another example of a big detail is the presence of certain guest stars throughout all the series and movies, which most definitely puts a damper on the "compression of timelines" argument - the biggest example I can think of is the fact that the original Harlem Globetrotters [featured in the OM] at the height of their careers (1970s) would not coexist with a full-grown, fully famous celebrity chef Bobby Flay [featured in "Gormet Ghost" movie] (born in 1964, making him ca. 10-15 years old according to this theory) and DEFINITELY NOT with Ryan Sheckler [featured in "WNSD" ("What's New..."] (born 1989, no math needed for that one). So now that we see how specious theory 1 is, let's move on to theory 2.

(+) - SIDE NOTE: btw, I did the math, and the exact number of mysteries of every single episode and movie is 591 - assuming a mystery is alotted to one day of the year, and adjust for referenced elapsed periods of time (i.e., e.g. - mysteries getting finished in more than one day, mention of summer projects where the rest of the gang weren't present, etc.) and other mysteries that are also referenced in various montages, AND ALSO ASSUMING THESE TEENS ARE CA. 16 OR 17 BUT DON'T GO TO HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY ALL HAVE FAMILIES THAT ARE FUCKING LOADED (all referenced in various series and movies), and this new number could be ca. 620-640 mysteries (with a gray area of ca. 50-100 possible extra unknown mysteries) within 4 years, in turn putting them past their teens, which renders their constant affirmations of being teens the entire time completely illogical and moot (also, remember this side note, we'll come back to it later). (***)

THEORY 2:

Kind of an exhausted, contrived idea, but "BCSD", like all the other series and movies, is one universe within a giant, seething multiverse of Scooby Doos and Gangs, which, if you think the movies altogether are their own universe and each series is a separate universe, would put the multiverse number at only 29; however, if you wanted to believe every single series AND movie is its own universe, the multiverse number shoots up to 151 SEPARATE UNIVERSES. And, a multiverse theory certainly supports the differring details as mentioned earlier, as well as makes the mystery/year math (***) more believable (with the average number of mysteries per series being 20-30).

Now, we must beg the question of if this multiverse is connected in some way - the theory of the expansive 151 universe beast of a multiverse could support mild crossover of the movies with themselves, excepting the older ones from the newer ones, although it ruins the integrity of the whole series - like why would the gang be considered world famous if each movie was its own universe? They would basically be solving the very first mystery in their entire lives; stratifying each era (i.e., OM-1980s, 1990s-2000s [the stuff with Scott Innes as Scooby and Shaggy], "WNSD"-era, and "SDMI" ["Mystery Inc."] to "BCSD") of Scooby Doo movies into separate universes would keep the idea of crossover as neutral as keeping the handful of old movies separate from the enormous monolith that is the list of newer movies since a movie only has 1, MAYBE 2, mysteries in each story, but it would definitely strengthen that inherent facet as each universe's timeline would be more believable since they would have been solving more than one mystery. The 29-universe theory bolsters the idea of crossover and/or story, especially in view of the fact that it has been referenced in various series: in the "BCSD" episode "If You Can't Scooby Doo the Time, Don't Scooby Doo the Crime", Ravi the prison guard scans the gang and a "retro-scan" shows the OM gang - does this mean that this "BCSD" universe is aware of or even APART OF the OM universe? It def looks like it. Another example is the "WNSD" episode "A Terrifying Round with a Menacing Metallic Clown" when Velma has a flashback to what would be "APNSD" days - now, again, is this a crossover, or are "WNSD" and "APNSD" one universe? - but that's another debate altogether - the point is that a multiverse theory of Scooby Doo in its entirety holds its weight in salt (or Scooby Snacks, lolz), and should def be considered connected in some way or another, whether that be crossover, reference, or inter-universal connection.

Please reblog and debate ur asses off on this one...

BUT WAIT!!!

BONUS THEORY!!!

(***) Now, suppose taking the mystery/year math and literally translating the total 591 mysteries to 1 mystery/1 day while ALSO applying the compressed timelines aspect of theory 1. Where am I going with this?

I'll tell you where: that ancient Greek land of horror, fueled by humanity's fear and vice; endless torment as the destination of that proverbial Stygian journey - that's right:

HADES

This theory suggests that somewhere along the line, after "APNSD" when the gang had reached their current teenage years that they so often defer to, they may have wronged the god Hades, and, seeking revenge, He claimed their mortal souls and banished them to His realm, forever having them solve mysteries eternally.

Why do they always always ALWAYS have mysteries "fall into their laps"?

Why are they always tormented with fear and terror on a DAILY basis?

Why do they never get respite or comfort from these seemingly endless monsters and situations?

WHY DO THEY NEVER SOLVE THE LAST MYSTERY?!

HADES!

Boom!

*drops mic*

(U know what tho, this one's my personal fav)