#||Trials & Tribulations of a Retainer: Jaken||

[fangsofdestruction]

A songfic based off ‘Bleeding out' by Imagine Dragons because I got inspired. Throwing in a headcanon at the end? Yes. Written for @thecursedpriestess This is not canon to the blog, it's creativity time TM. I enjoy thinking random scenarios that won't be canon to my setting.

Triggers: Blood (due to complicated childbirth) and death

I'm bleeding out

So if the last thing that I do

Is bring you down

I'll bleed out for you

In a dimly lit hut was a woman fighting her own battle to bring new life into the world. It was no over-exaggeration to say that she’d wished for this for so long, waiting to bring a child of her own into the world. One that she’d rear alongside her husband, showering them with love as well as important life lessons. A balance of sweet and stern.

So I bare my skin

And I count my sins

And I close my eyes

And I take it in

I'm bleeding out

I'm bleeding out for you, for you

The Miko had gone into labor much earlier than expected, and to make matters worse, the birth was wrought with complications. Chances of either or both the mother and child dying were high. As Kikyo was a being who was brought back to life already, there was no guarantee that she could be brought back to life.

All she could hope for was that her baby would make it through. If not, may the child be revived in time.

Even in this life she was met with trials and tribulations. Was it too much to ask for a happy ending in this lifetime? Was she paying for a crime of a previous life? Could the karmic cycle be so cruel to condemn her yet unborn child?

What sins could the guiltless child possess to not be given the chance to live?

No, this child will be brought into the world.

When the day has come

That I've lost my way around

And the seasons stop

And hide beneath the ground

When the sky turns gray

And everything is screaming

I will reach inside

Just to find my heart is beating

Memories shared between her and her husband came to the forefront of her mind as she could watch as a series of events panned before her eyes. A familiar scenario she’d more than once had encountered. Bitter, she knew what was coming for her.

Oh, you tell me to hold on

Oh, you tell me to hold on

“Nee-sama! Don’t give up! Keep pushing!” “Lady Kikyo! You can do it!” The frantic urging of the two on either side of her were urging her to not give up. It was imperative that she continue to hold strong and push through.

Surely, she’d push through this ordeal as that’s what life owed her after all the trials and tribulations life has thrown at her.

But innocence is gone

And what was right is wrong

The innocent daydreams of a simple woman who wanted a family to call her own with her loving husband. All felt right in the world once she’d received confirmation of her pregnancy. Carefully, she monitored herself to ensure the best for her child, no, their child.

“Oh heavens! The child is in danger! It’s not getting air! Mistress Kikyo, you must make haste.” It was Jaken’s job to ensure Kikyo’s comfort during her pregnancy as Sesshomaru’s most trusted aide. The green imp had studied much on the nature of human birthing to best help oversee the situation.

All the preparations were made to the best of his abilities and only the best materials were set aside for Lord Sesshomaru’s heir.

In all honesty, it held more importance for him to see the heir of his Lord survive to the end. Not to say that he didn’t value or hold Mistress Kikyo in the highest of regards, but a good retainer was one who would act on behalf of his or her master. As the Mistress, Kikyo’s wishes for her child to be born was one he would fulfill.

There was no telling if in his grief Lord Sesshomaru may slay him where he stands should anything happen to the Wife of the Lord, but it was a risk he was willing to take. Besides, he’d learned early on that it was the women who were truly terrifying.

Sacrificing the child for her life would surely be a grave offense towards the Mistress. With tears in his eyes, he urged the tired woman to continue fighting for her child, though she was entirely exhausted. The scent of blood was overflowing the hut, quite telling of how harrowing this complicated birthing really was.

Why did it all have to go wrong in this way?

'Cause I'm bleeding out

So if the last thing that I do

Is bring you down

I'll bleed out for you

So I bare my skin

And I count my sins

And I close my eyes

And I take it in

And I'm bleeding out

I'm bleeding out for you, for you

A silent prayer behind closed eyes of fiery ablaze, Kikyo was determined to bring her child into the world, even if it meant she’d breathe her last. The ringing in her ears and the feeling of anemia was all she needed to guess how gruesome the scene must appear with all the blood she was losing.

Don’t worry, baby, Mother will ensure you can witness this world.

“There! Jaken-sama! Look!” “I see just fine, Rin. Hurry, get the cloth!” The quiet cries of the infant filled the room and the short relief was cut short by the tearful voice of Kaede.

How cruel was this world to rob her of her sister once more. Not only has the world robbed Kaede of Kikyo once more, but it robbed Kikyo of the chance to hold her child in her arms.

The brave and strong woman fought the most exhausting and dangerous battle of all- childbirth. With the mortality rate high, it wasn’t uncommon for women to die during the process, but who could guess that one of the strongest Mikos would die not to a Demon’s claws, but because of her own child?

“Nee-sama, you’ve fought well.”

When the hour is nigh

And hopelessness is sinking in

And the wolves all cry

To fill the night with hollering

Today would be a day of celebrations and mourning as the child was born but the Mother was lost in the process. The sound of crying filled the night air mixing with the wailing of the born child- sounding like that of soul-wrenching cries of the wolves.

“Jaken, explain.”

Having spared no time to tidy his appearance prior to making his entrance showed how he was impatient to know the circumstances of the situation. The battle-worn Lord was given no time to rest as the moment he was close enough to catch the scent of blood, he’d rushed over.

“L-Lord Sesshomaru! Your child, he’s been born, but unfortunately, the Mistress had passed after complications during birth.” Jaken held the bundle of high-quality cloth in his small arms, looking smaller than his normal, as if he were trying to hide the child from the Father who’d just returned only to be greeted by his dead wife.

How fitting for him to be engaged in combat during the birth of his child, quite like how Inuyasha was born during tumultuous times. Drawn away because of the precarious borders wrought with Demon activity, he’d left to secure the lands to ensure the safety of his wife and future child.

He’d never imagined that what brought Kikyo to her end was such a mundane thing. She was not attacked by Demons, nor was she cursed to death. The barrier and guards positioned were still set in place.

The blood loss was obviously what had taken Kikyo’s life, not some jealous infidel, like what befell Izayoi. The look of relief upon the woman’s face would show that Kikyo had at least heard the voice of her child before death had claimed her life between a vice-grip once more, intent on keeping her forever captive.

When your eyes are red

And emptiness is all you know

“Leave. All of you.” Sesshomaru only spared one glance at the swaddled infant still crying into the night. “Name him Junichiro.”

The three looked at each other with concern as the meaning behind the name was, ‘he who takes.’ Was Sesshomaru intending to take his grief out on the child due to his grief over losing his wife?

Jaken was the first to turn to his Lord as a thought dawned upon him. “Mi’lord, will you be-”

“Leave. Now.”

“Yes, Mi’lord!” Jaken quickly ushered the others out of the hut to leave Sesshomaru alone with his deceased wife, trying to placate the aunt who was understandably struggling to comprehend the situation in its fullest. So much had happened, and it was hard for her to swallow in her old age.

Handing the infant to Kaede, Jaken prostrated himself before the entrance of the hut, offering his silent tears to his Masters.

Though words weren’t exchanged, the two men implicitly understood what would be the next course of events.

With the darkness fed

I will be your scarecrow

Two swords strapped to his side, but only one was making a ruckus at this time. The pulsing of Tenseiga was one Sesshomaru could understand. Unlike how he normally could cut down the denizens of the dark, he would use a hidden mechanism of the sword.

One that many did not know of, but it was one that he’d theorized. “Time to try it out.”

This time, he’d scare the denizens of the dark away from his wife for a long time to come. Kneeling beside his wife, he set aside Bakusaiga which laid solemnly by his side.

You tell me to hold on

Oh, you tell me to hold on

But innocence is gone

And what was right is wrong

With great emotion surging within his golden hues, tumultuous feelings clashed against each other as a cacophony of instinct and reason roared for dominance in his mind. About to go crazy from his own mind, he staunchly stood his ground, deeply rooting himself by gazing upon the visage of his wife. She, though deceased, held the reins to his reason.

It was as though she was urging him even in her death to stay strong for the sake of their child, the one she’d sacrificed her life to birth. To love him as much as she would have wished to shower upon Junichiro.

Unlike that of his Father Toga, who died to his injuries, Sesshomaru would find his end elsewise.

'Cause I'm bleeding out

So if the last thing that I do

Is bring you down

I'll bleed out for you

Claws dug into his chest, gripping into the most valuable thing to the Demon, the organ that circulated Youki, the heart.

Humans have used the hearts of Demons for various needs, in particular, for spells and curses. In this case, a risk.

So I bare my skin

And I count my sins

And I close my eyes

And I take it in

And I'm bleeding out

I'm bleeding out for you, for you

The matrimony of Human and Demon is deemed sacrilegious to many, and the reasoning for such was not lost to Sesshomaru. Even still, he chose to forge towards this path.

If this was a sin, it was for him to bear alone. Kikyo, the ever sacrificing need not sacrifice anymore.

Life blood from the heart laden with Youki was extremely potent, much more so for a Demon of his stature, a Daiyoukai. The Lord of the Western lands could feel his heart beaten between fingers of resolve.

Without hesitation the heart was crushed, but he would not die immediately. A Demon had more mettle than humans, after all.

The blood was fed to the deceased Miko, as if he intended to replace all her lost blood with his own. It was too late, much too late for that—but he would not stop.

I'm bleeding out for you, for you

I'm bleeding out for you, for you

I'm bleeding out for you, for you

I'm bleeding out for you

The smell of Sesshomaru’s blood only confirmed Jaken’s suspicions. The smell in copious amounts foretold the demise of his Lord, quite alike the way the Lord before him had fallen after the birth of his son.

'Cause I'm bleeding out

So if the last thing that I do

Is bring you down

I'll bleed out for you

With Tenseiga hollering and clamoring from its sheath, Sesshomaru had finally granted it relief by unsheathing it. The blade plunged into her heart as the last vestiges of his Youki were channeled into her body through Tenseiga as the medium that bridged them together.

The shed life-blood reacted to the familiar Youki, rushing to meet with the source. Just as he’d theorized, the Tenseiga worked by using the life-force of the user. As a near immortal Inu-youkai, he and his honorable Father both had plenty of lifespan to spare to share with others.

Their life-energy would be used to prolong the lives of the deceased until the life-energy would be overcome with something else, such as a great force or being used up.

Life-energy cannot be shared again as it would overpower that of the remaining original life. In all rights he should be unable to revive Kikyo, but the difference was that it was his soul he was burning to spark life back into his wife.

Once her heart found its beat, his life would disappear.

So I bare my skin

And I count my sins

And I close my eyes

And I take it in

And I'm bleeding out

I'm bleeding out for you, for you

Perhaps this was Karma, disallowing him to raise hanyo children of his own after his past transgressions against them.

Sight, smell, touch, and hearing were all steadily leaving him as life was being drained out of him and into Kikyo. The ultimate sacrifice of a husband to his wife, so she could live on to care for their child. After all, could one rest in heaven easily knowing a Demon was left alone to care for a delicate child?

Kikyo could raise the child well and have the means to protect him.

Color returned to Kikyo’s flesh, contrasting that of Sesshomaru’s, but ironically enough, he seemed to see everything alight with hope and color.

Laborously, the blade was removed from Kikyo’s chest as Tenseiga no longer needed to serve its purpose. Just like Bakusaiga before it, Tenseiga was situated beside the kneeling Lord.

“You’ve done well.”

The final words of praise he had to give to Kikyo, using his last breath to speak his gratitude to his wife who passed in his absence.

His clean hand reached out to gently touch her cheek before the final wisp of light left his eyes. Hand rested atop his lap, facial expression as stoic as ever, but peaceful.

If not for his pale countenance and the liquid crimson dripping from his chest where he’d gouged his own beating heart from his chest, it was hard to believe this Demon had died sitting upright.

It looked as though he was simply looking after his wife, and that very well be the case as Sesshomaru’s soul would live on to watch over his family, the remnants of his Youki a deterrent for now to give the recovering Mother repose.

The shuffling of the bedding alerted Jaken to the Mistress awakening from Death itself. This could only mean one thing, that his Lord has passed. A sorrowful prayer to send his Lord to the afterlife before he steeled his resolve to greet the Mistress, now widow.

Of course, she wouldn’t be a widow for long. That, he was sure.

“Mi’lord! Rest assured, I’ll care for the Mistress until your return!” There had to be a way to return him to the land of the living! There just had to be!

Then, and only then, could this family be given the ending they deserved. The death of the parents on this day was the payment for the sins charged to them.

For his Lord, he would spare no effort to ensure he would be reunited with his family.

With the other two, he re-entered the hut. Though he’d understood what transpired, it was still another thing to bear witness with one's eyes to the aftermath.

Sesshomaru, Lord of the West knelt beside his wife now waking from the daze of death to witness her husband quite unlike he’d ever been: lifeless.

Emotional, Jaken could not speak as his eyes were transfixed on the lifeless Lord of the Demon who seemed timeless and immortal.

Alas, even Sesshomaru was a mortal. It was up to Kaede to speak, gaining courage after looking down at Junichiro. For the sake of this child, both of his parents had sacrificed greatly, but this was no sin of his to repent for.

Offering a silent bow of respect towards the Father in her heart, she knelt next to her sister, still dazed from awakening from her eternal slumber.

“Sister… Sesshomaru named him Junichiro.” Kaede wanted for Kikyo to greet the baby before breaking the bad news to her sister. The bundle of joy was handed to be cradled into the arms of Kikyo, a mother. A title she could finally call her own.

“Junichiro, he who takes. May he grow strong and take life into his own hands, to bow to none, even fate.” Jaken could only surmise what his Lord meant by bestowing the name unto his son. Now with meaning, the name was endowed with the Fate destined for him.

Surely, with such an auspicious meaning, the pursuit to reunite with his Father wouldn’t be for naught.

Rin and Jaken stood at the food of the bedding with tears, still processing how Lord Sesshomaru sat beside his wife lifelessly. “I trust Lord Sesshomaru, he’ll be back.” Rin whispers to herself, which earned a grunt of affirmation from the imp.

Certainly, he’d make a return!

Now, to break the news to the new Mother and Widow.