#| anyway this is such a Zuhr look. on God it is

[hallasimss]

👃 : Does your OC smell good? Do they have a signature scent?

this took me practically all day bc i am,,,,, slow af when it actually comes to putting thoughts on paper but. three different questions, three different OCs!!! we'll do Jalal, Nithya and Zuhr for this since i have been dying to talk about them <333

👃 : Does your OC smell good? Do they have a signature scent?

God. so this is entirely my fault and is all based on that time i walked through a local market and was literally glued to the stall that was selling little imported bottles of oud attar (which i did not buy bc they were too expensive *sobs*) but uh. if you had to ask me that is more or less exactly what Jalal smells like. very warm, very earthy, woody (other than the oud, ofc, sandalwood if you squint)—there's some floral there as well, jasmine and rose, the afterthought of dampness after a wash. (think of dirt after a light rain, not a complete soaking, but just enough that you can smell the petrichor. the best reference i can give that is hopefully close enough irl is this mitti attar, which i have resolved to save up to buy one day bc i will f*ck around to have the scent of rain in a bottle tyvm) if you're around him at the end of a long day (and he hasn't bathed yet) he smells faintly of smoke and spices, saffron maybe? anyway the point is he smells f*cking good and the threat of me biting him is real

💦 : Is your OC’s attractiveness based on looks or a more intangible aura?

the aura, hands down. Nithya is an absolutely f*cking gorgeous human being (i mean look at her) but i think the real appeal comes from the way she carries herself. she's been through a lot to get to where she is and still struggles with her mental health, so one of the most important things that she's done is work on her confidence—despite being soft spoken you can almost sense when she enters a room, now, that's how much the entire atmosphere changes.

💌 : How would they plan a romantic evening for a significant other?

both Zuhr and her fiancé prefer a quiet evening in rather than going out and being mobbed by the press—after all there isn't much of a way to get around without being seen when one of you (In-tae *cough*) is a world famous actor and the other is the literal leader of a GCC nation, so depending on their schedule she'll usually plan to have dinner together (rock paper scissors decides who cooks, if they cook at all) and watch a movie afterwards. (what movie that is hinges on whether Zuhr is in the mood to dig up one of In-tae's older releases and watch him squirm throughout the entire thing as he severely judges his past acting skills, sksksksk) it's more everyday domesticity than anything else, but considering the fact that they rarely see each other except for when one of them is visiting for whatever, i am going to give in and say it is the little things that count.

send me piping hot oc asks!

[etherealluceras]

The Gods (some) As Humans?

(All of them are 17 when they are a hooman)

God of Luceras

All I change in here is the hair length and took away some stuff and then put the uniform in Luceras Academy. And I changed the pupils to normal pupils.

God of Flowers

What I changed for Kai is his pupils and took away the highlights cuz idk why. Was thinking of chopping his hair but I decided to keep it like that. And of course, the uniform.

God of the Night

Almost forgot to mention that their powers are the same but more of a weaker version. Anyway, I changed the wings, tail, and single horn small because when Zuhr's power grows, so is his wings, tail, and horn, and then turn his pupils to normal pupils.

Goddess of the Day

Ok, Vesper's human ver is cute asf. Made the hair shorter and put a little bow in the back. Made the wings more small and so is the halo. And put little bow clips in her hair to keep the hair away from covering her eyes. And then the pupils.

God of Chaos

Haha- many changes on him. Kept stuff away like his red eye and his white ears thing. Put away the planet halo thing and the pupils changed into normal ofc.

I didn't do Ethelind/Goddess of Pages because of the uniform. Gacha won't let me do the uniform cuz it will blend on her skin. Also, she's the principal and creator of Luceras Academy so without her then the school wouldn't exist so making her a student wouldn't make sense, and making her look like a principal is something I'm sure gonna struggle with.

[thebesthadith]

How to Perform Salat

Posted by BornAgain Truth Seeker on free-minds.org

Salaamun 'Alaikum.

Here are my responses:

Quote

How do you perform Salat?

As Sister Sarah said, people do it differently. But anyway, you can question them back by asking if they follow some Qur'anic guidance to performing salat.

- Do they perform the ablution as per 5:6? When the Qur'an clearly states that only face and hands are washed, and head as well as feet are rubbed. Why do they add the whole blowing the nose, washing the mouth and rubbing the ear?

- When they perform salaat, is the level of voices according to 17:110 which states And thou (Muhammad), be not loud-voiced in thy worship nor yet silent therein, but follow a way between. As far as I know it, the traditional Muslims perform Zuhr and Asr salaats silently

- Do they understand the surahs they are reciting as per 4:43? The verse commands us not to approach salaat when we are intoxicated because we won't understand what we are uttering. So, do they actually understand what they say or do they only memorise short easy surahs?

- Do they address the salaat only to Allah as per 6:162? If so, why do they send salawat to Prophet Muhammad?

- Why is it that they combine their salaats when traveling, when Qur'an says nothing about combining salaats and it only suggests shortening it?

Salaat is personal connection between an individual and God. It makes no sense if it has to follow an exact set of movement because everyone has different way of expressing their feelings towards God. Anyway, there are certain guidance how to perform salaat, which is standing, bowing, sitting and prostrating. Moderate voice. Cleansing oneself. Reciting part of the Qur'an that you understand. And dedicating the salaat solely to Allah. The rest is up to you

Quote

Can a common person find out how many Rakat's there are?

Does it really matter? It's not the quantity that matters, it's the quality. If you really desire to have a long connection to God, you can have one loooooong raka'at. I'd say, do whatever makes you feel closer to God.

Quote

Can we perform Salat when we are naked?

Qur'an always endorses modesty and encourages that we dress in garment of piety. Surely you know that being naked is not really modest? Then again, God can see through everything, not just your outside, but your inside. It does not matter if you completely cover yourself, if your heart isn't connecting with God. I cannot see why women have to completely cover themselves when praying; the very purpose of the Qur'an advocating women to guard their modesty is to protect themselves from men attacking them. Does it mean that women have to protect themselves from GOD?

Quote

Is it ok to perform Salat right behind a Woman, behind her behind?

I see no problem with that, unless the men cannot really control their desires from looking some bending actions of women lol. Then again, their minds should be focused on GOD, not what is in front of them.

Quote

How do you determine the amount to give for Zakat?

If they define zakat as charity to be given to the needy, then the amount is up to us to decide, as long as we are not too stingy or too spendy as per 17:29. If God wants us to give 2.5% then that verse will be rendered unnecessary and useless.

It will be interesting to ask why they give zakat per year and not whenever they earn their income as per 6:141.

Quote

Can men look at naked men?

Why the heck do they want to show their nakedness to other anyway? Clearly the Qur'an states that we are to dress ourselves in garment of righteousness as per 7:26

Also, they need to keep in mind about 24:30 about men lowering their gaze. If looking at the same sex' nakedness can make their minds go gagagaga, then it's best that they lower their gaze. Btw... this question is silly -_-

Quote

Is Alcohol permissible, how do we know which verse came first?

As 2:219, 5:90-91, Alcohol is to be avoided as it is intoxicant but it is not haraam. Qur'an does say that it has some benefits, even though the harms far outweighs the benefits.

Quote

Is Vinegar Haram since it comes from Wine?

No, it is not intoxicating so it is not haraam. Have they read the verses 2:173, 5:3 and 6:145 for the list of what is haraam? Read people, read!

Quote

Can we eat Monkeys or Tigers or Bears?

As above. Tell them to read 2:173, 5:3 and 6:145. If they can get themselves to eat monkeys, tigers and bears, by all means, go for it! The Qur'an does not prohibit them. Personally I won't eat them, but that's not because they are haram, but I am not used to their meat. It's more of cultural issues and nothing to do about Islam. I eat chicken livers, legs or necks and people will agree they're halaal. But then in other countries, some Muslims will refuse to eat them because they're not used to them, and can they say that chicken livers, legs or necks are haraam? I don't think so.

Quote

Can we sodomize our Wives?

My understanding is that both sides are comfortable with the ways that the sexual acts are performed. 2:187 says that spouses are garment for each other, meaning they protect and make each other comfortable. I can hardly think that women will take pleasure from sodomy -_-;;. It makes women pure sexual objects and not equal partners.

Quote

Can we read the Bible for Guidance?

Why not? There are many ways of attaining knowledge and there are some parts of the Bible that can be used as guidance. To be honest, I find some Biblical references inspiring and I reflect upon them, hoping that I can be a better person. We are gifted with the ability to THINK and decide for ourselves. As long as we can critically use our minds when reading other Scriptures, I can see anything wrong with that. Qur'an encourages critical thinking and not isolating our minds in a tiny box.

Quote

If a male has Madhy does he require Ghusl?

Same as what Sister Sarah has posted.

Quote

If in travel, how do we shorten the prayer?

This question is unbelievable. Shortening means making the time shortER. If we usually pray for 20 minutes, then it is no harm if you reduce the time to 15, 10, or 5 minutes depending on the circumstances.

Quote

If in travel, could travel mean across the street, what is the length?

Again, ridiculous question. Across the street is not travel, it's strolling -_-. I believe that shortening prayer is allowed for people who, if by traveling, will subject themselves to danger as per 2:239. The idea of shortening the prayer in 2:239, is to not expose ourselves to danger for too long.

Quote

Nuh (as) - "So fear Allah, and obey me." (Qur'an 26:108) Hud (as) - "So fear Allah and obey me." (Qur'an 26:126) Salih (as) - "So fear Allah, and obey me." (Qur'an 26:144) Lut (as) - "So fear Allah and obey me." (Qur'an 26:163) Shu'ab (as) - "So fear Allah and obey me." (Qur'an 26:179) Isa bin Maryam (as) - "...therefore fear Allah and obey me." (Qur'an 43:63)

Indeed! That is my following the Message delivered. We can know what Prophet Muhammad said and preached by reading the Qur'an! That's why many commandments start with 'Say'. That is God's commandments to Prophet Muhammad, which would later be preached by him.

I do obey the Prophets by following the Qur'an. And No, I do NOT follow man-made rules/hadiths/Sunnahs that are attributed to Prophet Muhammad. InshaAllah, I follow the Sunatullah [in the Qur'an] and NOT Sunnah Al-Bukhari, Al-Muslim, Al-Tirmidzi blah blah blaaaaaaaaah...

Oh, funny how they don't 'obey' Prophet Isa as they 'obey' Prophet Muhammad. I don't see the men growing/curling their hair or wearing white cloak so they will resemble how Prophet Isa/Jesus [is portrayed to] look.

Anyway... just my $ 0.02. Feel free to disagree.

[foggynightdonut]

How to Perform Salat

by  BornAgain Truth Seeker - free-minds.org

Salaamun 'Alaikum.

Here are my responses:

Quote

How do you perform Salat?

As Sister Sarah said, people do it differently. But anyway, you can question them back by asking if they follow some Qur'anic guidance to performing salat.

- Do they perform the ablution as per 5:6? When the Qur'an clearly states that only face and hands are washed, and head as well as feet are rubbed. Why do they add the whole blowing the nose, washing the mouth and rubbing the ear?

- When they perform salaat, is the level of voices according to 17:110 which states And thou (Muhammad), be not loud-voiced in thy worship nor yet silent therein, but follow a way between. As far as I know it, the traditional Muslims perform Zuhr and Asr salaats silently

- Do they understand the surahs they are reciting as per 4:43? The verse commands us not to approach salaat when we are intoxicated because we won't understand what we are uttering. So, do they actually understand what they say or do they only memorise short easy surahs?

- Do they address the salaat only to Allah as per 6:162? If so, why do they send salawat to Prophet Muhammad?

- Why is it that they combine their salaats when traveling, when Qur'an says nothing about combining salaats and it only suggests shortening it?

Salaat is personal connection between an individual and God. It makes no sense if it has to follow an exact set of movement because everyone has different way of expressing their feelings towards God. Anyway, there are certain guidance how to perform salaat, which is standing, bowing, sitting and prostrating. Moderate voice. Cleansing oneself. Reciting part of the Qur'an that you understand. And dedicating the salaat solely to Allah. The rest is up to you

.

Quote

Can a common person find out how many Rakat's there are?

Does it really matter? It's not the quantity that matters, it's the quality. If you really desire to have a long connection to God, you can have one loooooong raka'at. I'd say, do whatever makes you feel closer to God.

Quote

Can we perform Salat when we are naked?

Qur'an always endorses modesty and encourages that we dress in garment of piety. Surely you know that being naked is not really modest? Then again, God can see through everything, not just your outside, but your inside. It does not matter if you completely cover yourself, if your heart isn't connecting with God. I cannot see why women have to completely cover themselves when praying; the very purpose of the Qur'an advocating women to guard their modesty is to protect themselves from men attacking them. Does it mean that women have to protect themselves from GOD?

Quote

Is it ok to perform Salat right behind a Woman, behind her behind?

I see no problem with that, unless the men cannot really control their desires from looking some bending actions of women lol. Then again, their minds should be focused on GOD, not what is in front of them.

Quote

How do you determine the amount to give for Zakat?

If they define zakat as charity to be given to the needy, then the amount is up to us to decide, as long as we are not too stingy or too spendy as per 17:29. If God wants us to give 2.5% then that verse will be rendered unnecessary and useless.

It will be interesting to ask why they give zakat per year and not whenever they earn their income as per 6:141.

Quote

Can men look at naked men?

Why the heck do they want to show their nakedness to other anyway? Clearly the Qur'an states that we are to dress ourselves in garment of righteousness as per 7:26

Also, they need to keep in mind about 24:30 about men lowering their gaze. If looking at the same sex' nakedness can make their minds go gagagaga, then it's best that they lower their gaze. Btw... this question is silly -_-

Quote

Is Alcohol permissible, how do we know which verse came first?

As 2:219, 5:90-91, Alcohol is to be avoided as it is intoxicant but it is not haraam. Qur'an does say that it has some benefits, even though the harms far outweighs the benefits.

Quote

Is Vinegar Haram since it comes from Wine?

No, it is not intoxicating so it is not haraam. Have they read the verses 2:173, 5:3 and 6:145 for the list of what is haraam? Read people, read!

Quote

Can we eat Monkeys or Tigers or Bears?

As above. Tell them to read 2:173, 5:3 and 6:145. If they can get themselves to eat monkeys, tigers and bears, by all means, go for it! The Qur'an does not prohibit them. Personally I won't eat them, but that's not because they are haram, but I am not used to their meat. It's more of cultural issues and nothing to do about Islam. I eat chicken livers, legs or necks and people will agree they're halaal. But then in other countries, some Muslims will refuse to eat them because they're not used to them, and can they say that chicken livers, legs or necks are haraam? I don't think so.

Quote

Can we sodomize our Wives?

My understanding is that both sides are comfortable with the ways that the sexual acts are performed. 2:187 says that spouses are garment for each other, meaning they protect and make each other comfortable. I can hardly think that women will take pleasure from sodomy -_-;;. It makes women pure sexual objects and not equal partners.

Quote

Can we read the Bible for Guidance?

Why not? There are many ways of attaining knowledge and there are some parts of the Bible that can be used as guidance. To be honest, I find some Biblical references inspiring and I reflect upon them, hoping that I can be a better person. We are gifted with the ability to THINK and decide for ourselves. As long as we can critically use our minds when reading other Scriptures, I can see anything wrong with that. Qur'an encourages critical thinking and not isolating our minds in a tiny box.

Quote

If a male has Madhy does he require Ghusl?

Same as what Sister Sarah has posted.

Quote

If in travel, how do we shorten the prayer?

This question is unbelievable. Shortening means making the time shortER. If we usually pray for 20 minutes, then it is no harm if you reduce the time to 15, 10, or 5 minutes depending on the circumstances.

Quote

If in travel, could travel mean across the street, what is the length?

Again, ridiculous question. Across the street is not travel, it's strolling -_-. I believe that shortening prayer is allowed for people who, if by traveling, will subject themselves to danger as per 2:239. The idea of shortening the prayer in 2:239, is to not expose ourselves to danger for too long.

Quote

Nuh (as) - "So fear Allah, and obey me." (Qur'an 26:108) Hud (as) - "So fear Allah and obey me." (Qur'an 26:126) Salih (as) - "So fear Allah, and obey me." (Qur'an 26:144) Lut (as) - "So fear Allah and obey me." (Qur'an 26:163) Shu'ab (as) - "So fear Allah and obey me." (Qur'an 26:179) Isa bin Maryam (as) - "...therefore fear Allah and obey me." (Qur'an 43:63)

Indeed! That is my following the Message delivered. We can know what Prophet Muhammad said and preached by reading the Qur'an! That's why many commandments start with 'Say'. That is God's commandments to Prophet Muhammad, which would later be preached by him.

I do obey the Prophets by following the Qur'an. And No, I do NOT follow man-made rules/hadiths/Sunnahs that are attributed to Prophet Muhammad. InshaAllah, I follow the Sunatullah [in the Qur'an] and NOT Sunnah Al-Bukhari, Al-Muslim, Al-Tirmidzi blah blah blaaaaaaaaah...

Oh, funny how they don't 'obey' Prophet Isa as they 'obey' Prophet Muhammad. I don't see the men growing/curling their hair or wearing white cloak so they will resemble how Prophet Isa/Jesus [is portrayed to] look.

Anyway... just my $ 0.02. Feel free to disagree.

[imagines-oneshots-blog]

All That Glitters Chapter Nine: Crooked Grins, Sly Hands and a Blessedly Shitty Motel Room

Check out the full fic on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11306139/chapters/26841078

Fajr – 5:44 am

You were woken from the fragile embrace of peaceful slumber by the jarring sound of a creaky car door slamming shut, followed soon after by its twin being snapped carelessly closed on the opposite side of the vehicle. You cracked an eye open with reluctant wakefulness playing acerbically about your brow, shifting lazily against the solid wall of muscle at your back, noting with a hearty measure of chagrin that it was so early the sun had yet to fully rise. This meant that it was unacceptable for you to be conscious, so you huffed hard and wiggled your hips more fully into the sizeable body wedged against the vinyl behind you.

This unintentionally heated movement of your backside had the scopic hand of that hulking body’s owner coming to rest heavily on the swell of your hip, which was currently clothed in stretchy cotton leggings and draped with a coarse slip of oversized jean jacket. Despite the slumber tinged weariness tripping thick and cloying against your temples, you felt the heat of that sizeable hand sear straight down to your skin, and you shivered as a wicked thrill of awake sizzled like fire up your spine in response.

“Sweeney,” you groaned as the thumb of his hand began to stroke in the dip of the hipbone curling closest to him, his wanton teasing actions hidden beneath the cover of that ragged jean jacket, his grin that you felt curving against your hair rending a smile on your weary lips despite the sleep still swirling thickly behind your eyelids. Your voice wasn’t really an order to stop, the gentle rocking of your hips into his wanting touch and the soft responding throb that had begun between your legs would have laid that lie bare right down to its very marrow, but it was definitely a reminder much stronger than your brittle willpower that there was company hovering somewhere across the dim road, out of earshot but certainly not out of sight.

“Shh,” he crooned in reply, his voice a wicked imploration huffed hot and tempting against the shell of your ear as he curled himself more fully around your form, making you feel tiny where you were curved into him, the little spoon to his much, much bigger one, “Go back to sleep, mo Éinín.”

“How am I supposed to do that with all your…distractions?” you shot back at him with about as much bluster as a sleepy kitten just as his fingers dipped into the waist band of your leggings, his touch sure and unabashed despite you blatantly calling out his knowingly teasing actions.

“Here, my little bird,” Sweeney husked, his voice ravaged by sleep and cigarettes and something much more molten, “Let me help you, now.”

You sighed deeply as his long lithe fingers slipped beneath the lace of your panties and found the wet aching flesh of your cunt, your legs spreading as much as your tightly fit position would allow despite your previous admonishments. It was almost embarrassing, how slick that flesh between your thighs had become just from the slide of his deft fingers against your skin and the rasp of his hot breath at your ear. The lust shimmering between the two of you was so thick it was nearly palpable, thrumming and tangible in the air as you traveled down these God forsaken backroads and highways that all looked the same, that all had those telltale hints of modern civilization vanishing in the wake of corn fields and rolling hills stretching as far as the eye could see. You supposed that this was the kind of landscape that Sweeney had been born and bred in, the kind in which his people, The Fair Folk, had flourished, and just for that fact alone you tried for some far flung appreciation of it. Though for all your efforts, you were sure that you would have been more successful if you could travel these roads alone with Sweeney, free to stop where you would to talk and eat and, inevitably, fuck. But such as it was you were crammed together into the backseat of a shitty cab that smelled slightly like a well-used toilet, curled up in the back seat, lying on your sides, your back to his front, with his hand down your panties and his gentle praises huffing in your ear.

And, despite your grumblings, it truly was all manner of hot.

“So slick for me, lassling,” Sweeney grated, his teeth nipping hard at your nape, his fingers swirling expertly against the wetness throbbing in your cunt, playing at the tight bud of your clit in that familiar way that he knew would drive you wild, “You’ll have to hurry if you want to cum, little bird. These morning prayers of Ibrahim-Bin Whatever the Fuck don’t usually last long.”

“Neither will I if you just shut up and touch me,” you threw back to him, your breaths gusting hard against the sticky vinyl pressed beneath your cheek, the barest hint of a saucy smile playing about your lips despite the moans sticking to your tongue, threatening to break from behind the cage of your gritted teeth.

“Oh, will you now, little lassling?” Sweeney replied casually as he slid his thick fingers against the throb of your clit at a pace that was anything but nonchalant, and although you couldn’t see all of his face, could only see the grinning curve of one bearded cheekbone and the devilish twinkle of a green eye, you could practically feel the sardonic raise of his russet brow, the knowing quirk of his infuriatingly tempting mouth, “Because I’d like to think that by now I’ve become very well acquainted with this sweet little cunt of yours, and I know when it’s tensing to cum. And now, lassling is not one of those times,” Sweeney nipped lovingly at the taut cords of your neck, bent as it was against him, a flexed extension of the desperate bow of your back, the urgent press of your hips into his expert touch as he slipped a thick finger into your tight heat, flicking the bud of your clit with an expert thumb, “Not yet, anyway.”

“Sweeney,” you crooned, grinding your ass back into the cradle of his thighs imploringly, canting your head desperately against his shoulder, revealing the lithe slip of your collarbones for his hungry mouth, “Please-” Any further words were stolen by the desire dancing on your lips, slipping a vice grip around your slim throat.

“You had better hurry, little bird,” Sweeney chuckled as he pressed his mouth against the juncture of your shoulder, that thick finger he had wedged deep within your pussy moving so fast you could barely keep up with the wet, aching slide of it, the slip of his thumb against your clit searing, brutal and perfect, “They’ll be done any minute now.”

You felt that urgency searing in your veins, pounding in tandem with the abiding ache deep in your cunt, and despite how badly you wanted it, how much your throbbing body longed for it, you needed more. You knew then that you couldn’t cum without something else; the hefty press of another finger perhaps, the sight of his bearded cheekbones and crooked nose smirking down at you, the naked slip of his flesh against your heated skin. Whatever it was, it had your heart sinking like a stone in your chest as you heard those highly unwelcome voices nearing the vehicle, the telling light of dawn spilling golden and resplendent into the dingy cab, illuminating all manner of things hidden by the dusk.

You heard Sweeney mutter a curse against your temple, felt him grace your throbbing clit with one last longing sweep of his thumb before he carefully but hastily removed his fingers from your sex, reluctant as the motion was, and slipped his hand out of your panties, though he left the appendage close, curling those digits low on your waist, in that space between the dips of your hipbones.

“I know, mo Éinín, Soon, love.” Sweeney rasped, adjusting his jean jacket that was draped over your twined forms and tucking you further into his body just as the doors to the car opened and your two companions slid into their seats, chatting happily about whether or not God was actually listening to your prayers. When the car started rolling once more, jarring your battered body with each asphalt wrought imperfection its revving wheels slid over, rattling that urgent kernel of lust that sat low in your belly with each bump of the wheels, you knew that He was not.

Zuhr – 12:01 pm

“All I’m asking is how do you know that your god is listening?”

Laura had been at this for about an hour now, following the long abandoned threads of her and Salim’s conversation much earlier in the day, pressing her companion for an answer markedly more tangible than the admittedly nebulous one’s he had been giving her. Intrigued, sure by now that she didn’t sleep, like, at all since her miraculous posthumous appearance rotting back on the earth instead of inside it, you followed Laura as she trailed after Salim, intent on anything that wasn’t huge, thickly muscled and ginger that could potentially re-ignite that unruly flame of lust you had just recently managed to tamp down.

“I know my God is listening because I hear him speak to me,” Salim supplied, his voice immeasurably patient, as if he were explaining to a grumpy child, as he spread out his prayer mat with careful reverence, the kind that reminded you poignantly of Sweeney slipping his hands down between your breasts, fanning his fingers in between the dips of your rib cage, whispering heatedly about your beauty as he laid you out before him. So much for a distraction….

Tags!

Huge thank you to all those who have asked to be tagged, you are amazing! 

@raspberrymama How great are the Sweeney pics in this moodboard?? I can’t take credit for his face though, as handsome as it is lol

@kimskew Hello again! I hope you enjoy this chapter! <3

[stinkle-mcfuckwit]

My OCs!

i needed to make a list anyway so i thought i would share

feel free to send asks if you want to meet or chat with any of these guys!!

please send asks because i suck at writing dialogue and it would really help::

The Angel’s Curse (one of my better gomens fics, i promise i will try to update soon once exams are over)

Essie-   Snarky, sassy demoness with a tigress as her demonic animal. basically everything Crowley tries to be, but she’s actually good at it (oof), antagonist turned protagonist, rebellious, likes punk music, leather and dark lipstick

The Magician and the Hunter (an original story, god knows when i’m actually gonna start it instead of just messing with the idea)

The Hunter-   dusty old coyote of a man. v lonely but he has a hard shell, a cynical old warmonger who witnessed the world blown to oblivion by nuclear war and now has no faith in anyone, himself or otherwise. His idea of fun is shooting the mutated animals that still live in the devastated city he calls home.

The Magician-   he’s very mysterious, young in appearance but is in fact immortal. feels most at home in the Victorian age of London, wears nineteenth-century magician’s clothing. Kind of influenced by Christian Bale in The Prestige. He’s got a kind heart, one of his favorite things to do is conjure flowers out of thin air and give them to children on the street. Doesn’t talk much, has a sense of humor that comes out every now and then, wears a mask that looks like a fox. Loves reading old novels with a cup of tea.

FACTION (another os, this one i’ve been toying with for about a year now.. still haven’t started it yet...)

Arís-   young (17, i think) protagonist of the story. Son of a highly respected military tactical advisor and late soldier. Intelligent, strong moral compass, loyal. Just wants to do what’s right, fairly serious except when he’s with his best friend, Rynn. seems strong and stoic, but really is scared out of his mind and has no idea what he’s doing. kinda needs a hug.

 Rynn-   Same age as Aris, fun-loving, looks like a cinnamon roll, will shank you if you try to hurt her or anyone she loves. Loves a good dirty joke, usually the one to start trouble and then kick its ass. very strong, very fierce, 10/10 would let her step on me with nine inch heels. Oh, and she’s the other main protagonist

Adelind-   Arís’ badass mom (the military one.) She’s got this air of regality about her, plus a hint of “i-could-shoot-you-in-the-head-and-not-bat-a-mascera-laden-eyelash.” She will stop at literally nothing to do what she thinks is right--no matter who or what stands in her way. Ever since she lost her wife (the soldier one) she’s been working harder than ever to make sure the wars are ended as soon as possible...  

Cora-   Adelind’s late wife. Very soft and gentle, the only reason she became a soldier was to protect her family. Her death shatters Arís and drives Adelind mad with grief. *wink*

Sam Aleshilny   (pronounced ah-leh-SHIL-neh)- a Polish man with a beard and greying hair pulled back in a bun. Kind and tough, with a scar over his left eye that no one knows how it got there. He’s wise and courageous, knows when the best time to crack a joke is, has seen some shit is his life but he’s still optimistic. 

Zuri Mchezaji   (pronounced ZUHR-ee mm-cheh-ZAH-hee)- beautiful Tanzanian woman and Sam’s wife. Usually has her hair pulled back and covered with a hand-made blue and gold headscarf. very caring and matronly, but comes across like a lioness if she has to. And don’t even think about being sad near her because she WILL tell you dirty jokes and dig up funny stories about Sam until you smile.

Anton Creedi Brelar-   my personal favorite. He’s in his twenties, tall, awkward, has the most pure and innocent grin. very nervous and easily spooked, basically a puppy in political leader’s shoes. oh and he’s also a literal genius, runs an entire country. he’s not very self-confident but he’s much stronger than he thinks and a fantastic leader. 

[perfectionistincrisis]

Day 81

i keep talking to myself all the time - no not cause im mad or alone - but like i said earlier - i pretend like its ‘him’ and just him. meaning, no, im not those people who talk to themselves cause they enjoy doing it, or like um neither those who talk to themselves cause they dont have anyone else to talk to - but rather, -i-just-talk-to-him-

wow, no that was a nice way to put it out there. so much for defending myself lol

ok so im kinda energetic - as in -my mood is- i am not, physically energetic though. i mean i just spent the last hour and a half in bed scrolling through my phone until my phone shut off cause it ran out of charge and only then i dragged myself slowly to the washroom to pee which i shouldve done 60 minutes ago. so yeah - very lazy 

speaking of time. WTH is going on with this world? i feel like the number of seconds in one minute is a subject to small rise and falls like the world currencies! I mean seriously, i swear nowadays “1 minute” = “EIGHTY seconds” No Kidding!!!! It all started from after fajr today!!!!! 

yeah so after fajr today, at first i kind of blanked out - as in - that rush, impatience and i dont even know how to describe it - kinda feeling i was telling? about missing him and all that? like i need some action something to happen and wow this is such an off season - so yeah i was kind of stuck in my chair,, just switching from one social media to another doing nothing literally other than idk - trying to fast forward life and hit play somewhere cool ugh ok

so then something happened and it cheered me up and i got on the treadmill as was planned. usually do 3 hours but i knew doing 3 now, including my tiny 3-5 min breaks every 30 mins would take too long 

anyways ended up doing two hours at around 7 30 and then was too tired to take a shower so i just pulled a bed sheet from my closet and slept on the floor, cause no way im putting my stinky body to bed. 

when i got up, prayed zuhr and YESSS i did the one hour i skipped in the morning and yeah well thats pretty much it for the day. i mean then i sat and ate and then went to the hosp came back, chilled and still chilling right now as im typing :) 

oh something i said yesterday about how i wish life was full of action like in movies. like i just wish it was although i know its BS thats totally against how this life works. whats more surprising is how i actually wish for stupid stuff - i mean you know how on social media - one gets to present themselves the way they want. i mean you can be anything. happy sad widow married depressed gay - its like - its in your hands - how do you want to present yourself to the world mam? yeah you get my point? but like i lot of people fall for it. you look into others posts and you might wonder how their life is so wonderful and yours is not, how someones life is picture perfect and yours is not and BLABLABLA but Lol - i neverrrrr fell for that. pretty much cause i sugar coat my life too loool 

Its actually funny - im actually laughing - anyways where im getting at with this is - i was thinking about it - i mean for someone like me who never fell for all the crap people put up on display on social media - i sure am one hell of a dreamer to ‘wish’ for a busy ‘movie-like’ all colorful life. But then again in my defense - those are real people and people are full of crap so yeah i dont fall for their shit but i mean a movie is a well organised script being played out - ofcourse you ‘wishing’ for something like it is acceptable yasss (whatever makes you sleep at night:3 ) 

Also i assure you my vocabulary aint that poor, i just seem to lose my words when im posting anything here. mostly cause i have no words - everything is so messy and twisty and complicated Ugh 

Also its really weird that i feel like a days just passed by too fast this week. i mean i mustve slipped. i mean im like a human clock. lol i mean it. i mean when im not on vacation - and you ask me the time, anytime - my guesses are so close to accurate - like im aware of every second ticking by - now, im just saying im aware of it - that doesnt really mean i make the most out of time - but then i do know how precious it is, and i do feel like crap when im just shitting it away. and just randomly wasting time is one thing, but trust me when you are aware youre doing shit - ouch that burns! 

so august is coming, and i was kind of planning on fasting - i mean i didnt fast in july cause i wanted to get used to working out and fasting would just be disturbing. but yeah now its almost august and i think i should fast - for like the whole month - yeah :) cause i barely fasted for i think 8 days this Ramadan i need to make all the rest of it up. AND THEN AFTER THAT, it is sunnah but not one im actually brave enough to do to be honest but but but i think i have no choice - i mean i think i have to fast like every monday or thursday every week - cause i have a lot and a lot of fasting to do to make up for ALLLLL the ones i missed my entire life and trust me thats quite a lot - not the normal amount any girl would miss - cause ive been having problems and so i had to skip a lot and stuff - and i never kept an exact count - well actually its impossible cause its been a problem for years but then i do have to admit that i never tried either - cause idk- i guess i kind of took it as - oh cmon its just fasting - i mean i think i missed around 20 roughly - so ill just fast 30 - thatll cover it up plus ill fast extra - which is a good thing and blabla all that random thoughts! 

anyways i should now just focus on the 30 i wna fast for this year, in august but idk i have to come up with some legit plan where my work out schedule fits in perfectly too. both  are important to me, and im not choosing one over the other, i dont want to and i dont have to inshaAllah 

oh just a random thing - but i go for brands! Meaning, you know if something is sold by a really well known brand youd obviously expect it to have good quality and most of the time yes youre right. sometimes, nope! but then there are things which are not “branded” but the quality is amazing, and the price? well most of the time it is cheaper, but yeah i guess sometimes the price is almost similar - well the thing is - i am the type of person - whod want the brand name on PLUS the quality. like if there were 2 bags for example or two shoes, SAME quality, but one is cheaper ONLY cause it does not have a famous brand name on it - i am definitely the person whod pay wayyyy wayyy more for the branded one! - SO now you know the type of person i am :) :) :) :) 

Lol im sure that kind of information is something a lot of people would use to judge someone :3 But then im not all so irrational loool - like thats definitely something that is “goals” for me! I mean, i am a medical student being financially supported by my dad right now and will be for atleast the next 3 years. ATLEAST! ATLEAST! ATLEAST! 

SO yeah im not saying i cant afford branded products right now but i sure am not comfortable living a life of luxury at this phase of my life. I want to earn it. With my own sweat and energy. I want to tell myself that i deserve it. So yeah, thats the type of person i am but im not currently ‘practicing’ it like religion and one day IF i do, i know it will be something i earned and something Allah will not be unhappy with, because I am not planning to disappoint Him 

Okay enough with that. i really dont need to talk about it as long as i know ill be alright inshaAllah 

Oh something really interesting - so i REALLY REALLY need to smile. like NOT “smile more” but like “SMILE” for gods sake hahhaha. I mean idk - its like i hate people so much and idk i feel like everyone for some reason is turning against me or doesnt like me, and its not like i even care or want them to like me and thats exactly why im like all -pokerface-pokerface- but like cmooooon! if youre really talking to someone, something as simple as a short interaction in the hospital for example with the receptionist or pharmacist - i mean cmoon - just smile a little? i mean i REALLY need to work on it. cause if i am planning on being a doctor - OH PLEASE - smiling is part of the job OH WAKE UP LADYYY!!!!!!! 

but like im not kidding - like i just said - i feel like everyone for some reason is turning against me or doesnt like me. and ofcourse its not true, i mean MOST people dont even know me. like in the hospital i went to today for example - whyd everyone hate me? :) i mean idk its just something i feel. its weird. but sheeeeeet. have to work on it. fake a smile honey :) 

Okay and idk how wrong or right it is. but i thought of it and i dont feel like there is any harm to it. Like, id like to have the idea in my head that me and him, we love each other and we are meant to be together one day. inshaAllah. For which i always and always pray to Him and ask from Him. But as of right now, we are not together. but deep deep deeeeep deeeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeeeeeeeep and deeeeeeeeeeep’errr in my heart i keep telling myself that. We are.

now idk if its wrong, or right - but - i believe it is not making me do something which might anger my Lord.  All what it does is calm my heart. a little. And so i guess its okay! At least for now, i cant let go of the idea. Not today <3  Tada, guess thats enough for today! 

xox

[perfectionistincrisis]

Day 80

Yayyyy “Eighty”. Lol im just glad theres no ‘7′ anymore! I Hate 7, but then about the number of days increasing? um ok thats a weird thing to think about ‘-’ Erm i guess you know the idea that the number is just getting bigger every day makes me feel like erm times just passing on and on and on non-stop but then idk. Maybe you could look at it from the other end, and take it as, with the passage of time youre getting closer and closer to the other end. Other end? well yeah, i mean idk what that is, but there must be something awaiting worth to be taken as the end to this count! 

Maybe one of my talents is blabbering BS :) 

So ive been kinda eating. Like low calorie food. But. food. Like not “one apple and around 10 almonds and tea per day” sorta thing. But like, my food portion was actually enough to stretch my stomach a tiny bit or more like tough my stomach walls :) 

So theres this thing within me. Stuck. Like I want something, i need something. And i am not getting it. And i want it. I want it so badly. But ik thats not happening right now, no way. But i cant silence this inner rush within me. Its like stuck in me, fighting to come out. Its like pushing against my skin, trying to fight its way out. Trying to tear me apart, trying to make me scream. BTW - this is not pain or some huge cry of sadness. Its this adrenaline rush, this thirst for an outburst of excitement, this void sucking you into a loophole of -idk what- Oh.god.please.pull.me.out.of.this. Lol! Or i could just say all that in one sentence - Its freaking hard to stay patient- Mentally/ emotionally keeping cool is one hell of a work! It just keeps coming at you, trying to suck your inner peace away

I guess 2 days back, I got so desperate all of a sudden LIKE GOD, i need to lose weight asapppppp! and started googling all BS stuff which i guess works yeah but is not healthy and like even the ‘internet’s all - do not do this, it is not good - and shit. Well after that, i kind of accepted it that yeahh yeahh yeah owwkaaayyy i get it, like actually ‘losing wight in a healthy way’ takes time and stuff and okay okay ill stay calm and okay okay ill stay committed & blablabalba Cause like you know about that argument - food vs body????? so yeah i LOVE food. food is like so important to me, its almost as important as human beings to me, i mean i have top 4 people i love, and then i need food & then...well no, i think i need money after my favourite humans cause like! If you have money, you have food, and once you have food, you still have money so you can go shopping and buy whatever you want - and yes what else do i want? Exactly :) :) :) 

Okay so about today! Hmph so decided to go to the hospital but then tada my mom & bro had took appointments too, for today in some other hospital. And so went to theirs first and then went to mine which is like soo far awaayyy and i usually go their with dad cause like why pull everyone along with me, theyll just get bored but then today they just had to come along cause like they had to go to their hospital first and all that. so unluckily, the computer crashed or something in my hospital and they asked to wait, and it was late and my bros and mom were like so bored so thought of dropping them at some mall and then coming back and checking if their computer started working but then ended up deciding to go again tomorrow so UGH hospital again tomorrow! 

And right now my tummy is full so i cant work out so i guess Ill wait till after fajr. plus anyways it doesnt matter whether i sleep right after fajr or a bit later, i usually dont get out of bed before 2 30pm or almost 3pm and thats cause at 3pm enough is enough and i NEED to get up to not miss zuhr. behehehe but cmon riyadhs heat right now. maynnnnnn I mean seriously ytf would anyone even bother getting out of bed during the day unless like you HAVE A GOD-DAMN reason ‘-’ 

Now my head just went empty all of a sudden lol idk what to write xD theres this one thing but im not in the mood for it right now. 

OH in case all my ‘inner void’ and ‘hard being patient’ stuff seemed confusing - i just miss him a lot. Nothing new :) And guess what, i guess its just easier, WAY easier to accept it :) :) :) 

idk why i keep giving this smiley a lot out of the blue but trust me i have a poker face most of the day. i mean im all poker face or im stupid and goofy pretending like life is actually really easy and shit and im nailing it :) but then i go back to being all poker face real soon so im okay! 

Oh so I read the Quran with the english translation and commentaries after fajr today. It was mind blowing <-- i wish i had better words to use but from all the ones i have, i guess that works. I read a bit. definitely didnt read the translations duh i mean thats some old weird english i wont even get most of it. but the commentaries good. Planning on continuing, a little a day! 

oh another thing that comes with the hard staying patient and wanting something to happen but knowing it wont and all that is. ACCEPTING that life is all highs and lows and many of the times its pretty boring, i mean lifes not a ‘movie’ cause trust me i dont i ever saw people in movies having a boring day. Idk i mean i just want every day to be like eventful and all lively and stuff but then this life is not supposed to be that way. but then i mean, ugh its SO HARD to breathe when its boring :) 

ok enough. 

p.s. other than movies, i guess 5 year olds or even youger have pretty exciting lives too :) and then.. ONE DAY.. heuheuhehueheuu muahaha *stupid evil laugh* 

Ok bye :):):):):):):):):)