#| and you to never find out. anyway happy Pride bitches this specific gay's coming to you soon-ish )

[g-l-o-w-y-l-i-g-h-t-s]

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog but with lesbians would have been a masterpiece btw. If you even care. "Next up: Who's Gay?"

Captain Hammer: "The Hammer is my strap-on." Big muscly woman but she's managed to build a preppy wholesome heterosexual image of herself that fits what everyone wants to see. She fits in, but not as herself, whatever her civilian name even is. She's selfish and conniving and self-serving and a fuckboy lesbian and she has become all of those things because she felt she had to. She's also just kind of a bitch tbfh. Penny is an out lesbian and Captain Hammer, seeing that many celebrities are coming out, decides to make a whole Event(tm) of coming out and dating Penny and capitalizing on selling branded Captain Hammer Pride T-Shirts. "So I thank my girlfriend Penny. Yea, we totally had sex." It's honesty, it's self-acceptance even, but it's also a PR stunt. Because at this point, anything Captain Hammer does is a PR stunt. And Penny is just a self-actualization tool and stunt prop for her. And even so, Hammer is anxious about being openly dating a woman and makes sure that everyone knows that "quiet, mousey" feminine Penny is "Not my usual, but nice."

Dr. Horrible: "There's no happy ending, so they say. Not for me anyway" Billie has never actually been able to hide her queerness. Has always been cast as a villain. The doomed, corrupting Lesbian. And, much like her extant canon hetero-male counterpart, we watch as she spirals downward and becomes a femcel. Everything is already there. The camp. The "villain"/"hero" labels as more a marker of outsider status/popularity than actual moral value. The history of queer coded villainy in exactly the kind of media that this story is riffing on. The feeling that one's story is doomed to tragedy bc that's the version of the story you've seen again and again and again. And yeah, it does make you bitter.

Penny: "I cannot believe my eyes. Is the world finally growing wise?" An actually relatively well adjusted normal person type of Lesbian. We know Penny has been repeatedly rejected and denied job opportunities, and it would make sense for this to be because of her being openly lesbian. Maybe Penny herself was kicked out into the street as a girl and that's what got her started working to provide homeless shelters. Unlike Hammer or Billie, Penny has not allowed this to embitter or define her. She continues fighting to make the world better and came out long ago because she believes that the more people come out, the safer it will be for everyone else. And yeah, there's a cute gay woman who goes to the same Laundromat as her and gets fro yo and they flirt quietly and there's a sense of camaraderie in being two queer women even once Penny starts dating someone else. And that someone else! Imagine finding out that your celebrity crush is gay and interested in you specifically. And then!!! There's a huge pride event and everyone from your friends to the FUCKING MAYOR OF THE CITY is Congratulating you on this part of yourself that has been repeatedly rejected by society. And you're finally emphatically able to open a homeless shelter for queer people like you who were given no other place to go. Only to then realize that even your new gf is treating you as a cardboard cutout for photo ops and she has no real sense of queer community. Brutal.

Penny: She's really pretty and I thought she was kind of cheesy at first

Billie [under her breath]: trust your instincts

Penny: But she turned out to be totally sweet. Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface.

Billie: And sometimes there's a third, even deeper layer, and that one is the same as the surface one...Like with pie :)

Bonus points:

Moist: "At my most badass I make people want to take a shower." Moist is a "gross sweaty dyke" with a weirdly sexual name and lives happily/vaguely sleezily ever after with the towelettes (if youve seen the comics you know what I'm talking about.)

Slightly different dynamic with the chorus of 3 Hammer fans. It is now two pining lesbian fangirls and one gay guy who is just hyped for there to be a queer superhero.

[babybabymerrychristmas]

There is something to be said for why taylor chose to pair the blue,purple, pink flag layered jacket with the iconic 1989 jumpsuit when she never wore the two together to the best of my knowledge, while having speak now- the album with the closeted gay man music video- taylor swift tell 1989 taylor swift the words "you're being too loud."

A phrase she also used in the last great American dynasty, to refer to herself as "the loudest woman this town had ever seen," and culturally queer people use "loud" as a term to mean GAY AS FUCK, which is a song that talks about a love story that ended with the death of one of the partners that happened in the rhode island house was THE background backdrop for 1989 era and her squad era, whom she called "situationships" in the 2019 vogue article, a word she used again in glitch in a romantic sense- which is how the word has always been used as and has never referred to platonic friendship in this way because it doesn't make fucking sense LMFAO anyways and how she referred to their love story specifically as the last great American DYNASTY (kingdom) because taylor lives in London now.

And then she used loud again in the chorus of you need to calm down but the way it's written can be loosely interpreted as the homophobe screaming at taylor "you need to calm down, you're being too loud" because the "and I'm just like" there.... that is often used when recounting a story to a friend and ur repeating what you said to them and she says "you need to just stop, can you not stop on my gown?" And she also said "shade never made anybody less gay" and she called the queer pride "sunshine," a term we know she uses with true love see: the best day and daylight, which brings me to the lyric "step into the daylight and let it go," and if you don't think about how excited taylor was to release this album and if it doesn't make you want to scream when you think about 2018 taylor writing these lyrics and being so excited to come out and have her fans analyze them and come to the conclusion that she stepped into the sunshine on the street at the parade and let everything go only to then get the me! Announcement we got where she was crying and looking very sad wearing a pansexual colored colorful flag outfit and to not only have her fans drag her for that but to then go on to write midnight rain, a song about how she's thinking about the choices she made in life to break up with taylor Lautner and how that sent her down a dark and winding road into the woods we saw in cardigan and willow where we know she had been abused, groomed, manipulated and sexually assaulted by men in the industry and then victim-blaming and called a slut and a bitch and a witch and a villian instead of being a 19 year old child who nobody protected from the predatory men in her life and how in cardigan specifically we see a glimpse of Taylor's disappearance and how she escaped from a ratty old cottage into a lush wonderland but that same piano that transformed her life took her into turbulent waters where she could do nothing but cling to her music and that is what saved her the entire time she was presenting this glamorized version of herself but that was how she found her way back to the same house she tried to leave in order to find better and bigger things (I think this video is so well shot because it really is a fantastic metaphor for her mental health and how she starts off in a sad place and goes on a journey to find external homes to make her happy but everything she tried made it worse until she realized she's all she's ever needed to be happy my cells are on fire right now) only she's returned and she's happy and satisfied instead of wistful and sad, and that is when he shows up at her door and leads her out into her actual reality by her side.

And then you think about how 1989 taylor responded to speak now taylor with a goofy ass smile, big headphones on, and says "thank you" thank you for saying that, comes to mind and then you realize that she wants to be on the street in the sunshine on the parade so fucking badly and then dear reader comes on shuffle and you just lose all ability to function because wow ouchie

[mieczyhale]

throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)

my tags on this post::  #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op 

my tags on this post::   #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them 

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings 

my tags on this post::   #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories. 

my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them