#{See everyone this should show you I'm the worse person to RP with until you have the patience of an angel}
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traitorinthemidst · 6 years ago
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The Fragrance of Familiarity
Losing most of the control in his balance, Edmund’s body lurched forward before cascading downward the instant after Caspian cupped his hand around his neck and tugged him toward his lips. He couldn't resist the pull of the situation or the definite pull of gravity. The slight loss of control was rather enthralling. It spoke of the power and potential Caspian’s body held in pleasuring him. Edmund’s stomach twisted into a knot, the feeling exciting him further despite it being the same response his edgy body felt before a battle or a debut or a debate. It was a sign of risk, the unknown, but Edmund had learned to embrace the tethering of his body and mind, knowing that the payoff of embracing whatever happened from this point on could only end with his personal gain or loss and no one else was else at stake. 
When Caspian pulled their lips to meet, it forced another part of their bodies together, their center of gravity. In doing so, this created a sensation that was nothing short of euphoric. The closeness more intense and warm than a brotherly hug Edmund that was had been used to receiving from Caspian. This touch, this pressure, had intent and permanence behind it. Edmund didn’t hold back from letting the fullness of his weight settle upon his friend; in fact, he leaned into it, enjoying the warmed and pressure. It felt so damned good. His arms moved from under him and crept up, skimming over both the cool of the silken fabric of the bedclothes and the warmth of the sides of Caspian’s clothed torso. His fingers glided over the hills and valleys of the other man’s muscles that were defined even from through the looseness of the fabric. Edmund counted how many times his fingertips dipped and rose; it helped to measure his breath a little and slow his pace down, though unbeknownst to him. The faint fragrance of the older man, the heat of flesh against flesh, the moisture of lip upon lip, hot and heavy, passionate breathes... It was so satisfying to his senses. Edmund opened his mouth, wanting to deepen this experience and softly nibbled on Caspian’s bottom lip for a moment, trying to prompt himself to keep things measured, to draw out the experience so Caspian could get a taste of the whole affair. He knew how short Caspian’s climax would be when they got to that point. And yet, this wasn’t going to be enough for him, he decided.
“mmmm...”
The sound of sweet, innocent desperation in Caspian’s words had sent the King of Old into a passion, Edmund had wanted to reply with something clever and spirited, but he much preferred having his friend’s mouth covered over his than speaking right now. Still, Edmund needed to keep the momentum of this play going. This was a delicate play of teasing Caspian into wanting to go through with losing his innocence and keeping him desperate enough to throw it away recklessly without thinking too much of what he was doing until things were done and over with. If there was one thing that Edmund preferred in sleeping with men, it was that virginity and purity weren’t seen as so alluring or sweet as it was seen for females. Double standards, that was a social construct that men had created based on the Virgin Mary no doubt, Edmund had imagined as he rolled his eyes while half-listening in his year 12 religion class. Experience and experimentation lead to knowing more of self, at least for Edmund it had. Yet, he applauded anyone who decided to stay pure and whole for whomever they planned on being committed to for their forevers. Edmund knew he couldn’t enjoy that sort of committed relationship without first knowing the love of many. His whole being craved affection and the adventure it took to get there. Some would call that a player in his world, but in Narnia, that was just free and open love.
Having the consent he wanted, Edmund began to turn his attention to further undressing Caspian. Nimble fingers moved back to the ties of Caspian’s shirt. That was coming off. The brunet curled his fingers under the hem of the nightshirt and pulled it up and over Caspian’s torso and head unceremoniously. The woven fabric, soften from a mix of heat and sweat, felt limp in his hands in comparison to the subtle shudders of pleasure and surprise of Caspian’s body as Edmund awaken it with sensuality. The fabric, that Edmund had wanted to wear so desperately only a few hours ago, now only held an essence of the current King of Narnia. Edmund wanted the fullness of the essence, and he would have it. Keeping his reddened lips locked with Caspian’s ones, Edmund stretched his arm away from his body. Without wasting a second longer on the shirt, he relinquished his grasp and let it fell soundlessly to the floor. Now, the King of Old could finally get an eyeful of what he’d only been able to glance on in secret to himself. For the entire year, he’d shared quarters in the stern of the Dawn Treader with Caspian, Edmund had stolen glances and glimpses of the fine physique of the Sailor King. Each time yearning to let his fingertips follow the lines of both muscle and scars there, delighting in how both added character and charm to the older man. But he quickly turned away or lowered his gaze when Caspian would smilingly call him friend or talk of his distaste of the princess suitors his advisors tried to match him with or question him of what things were like in his world. If Caspian only knew how dull and very ordinarily he had to live his life... England didn’t have talking Lions or unicorns and children certainly couldn’t set sail on uncharted sea towards the End of the World. There had been one night, after the Sea Monster battle that had allowed Edmund to foretaste in his longings, but both boys had been bruised and battered in the battle and even Edmund’s desires were lack lustered. Caspian had been asleep in his hammock, while Edmund lay in his hammock awake from the adrenaline of the fight and a desire like he normally held after a great battle. A lantern in the middle of the makeshift room remained lit; both Kings had been too tired and in pain (though unwilling to admit the severity of either thing) to get up to blow it out. So it remained alight, and Edmund’s eyes had adjusted to the soft glow. The sea was calm, despite the damage sustained to the ship the Dawn Treader glided on in the moonlight. The sounds of his movements as he got out of his own hammock and paced across the floor to where Caspian slept had been disguised by the creaking of the boat rocking in the sea. In his sleep, Caspian had tossed his blanket off, Edmund had watched it fell to the ground. Caspian's nightshirt was gathered in a wrinkles mass on his torso, revealing some of the bruises that had already begun to form and cuts that were too minor to bandage that had clotted over nicely. Stooping, Edmund picked up the blanket. The fabric of the blanket was meant for a king, but not nearly as elaborate as the blanket Caspian had bequeathed to Edmund when the two had strung up their hammocks in their makeshift room. The younger boy pulled down Caspian’s shirt, with his thumb and forefinger, while he let his other fingers ghost softly over Caspian’s skin before he spread the blanket over his exhausted friend. Edmund’s body ached, in more than one way. He was uncomfortably reminded of the first days of his meeting Caspian with his siblings. That had been an awkward time for Edmund. He was dealing with the uncomfortable reawakening of his body and needless to say, Caspian made it very hard for him to sleep at night, to think of their mission during the day, and to enjoy the merriment and indulgences during the celebratory party in fear he might overindulge in too much drink and declare too much.
Releasing his claim over Caspain’s mouth, Edmund took a quick moment to take in what he could of the physique of the man beneath him. In the low light, Edmund could make out the glisten of sweat most likely from his earlier bout of illness that had passed and the warmth both of them were entangled in. Each muscle was as well defined as what his mind had imagined when he’d felt the ridges through the fabric. Now that his hand was freed of the shirt, Edmund’s hand shifted to run through Caspian’s hair. His finger ran through the brown locks, twisting his index finger before he tugged at the locks gently at first. Edmund never played gently for long though. And soon it was back to ravishing Caspian’s lips and mouth. His hand stayed in Caspian’s hair, tugging at the locks while his mouth made a play of war with their mouths. 
Things were heating up rather quickly. It was then that Edmund mind was catching up with his body. Much to his indignity, he realized that his hips were moving and grinding into Caspian’s to their own rhythm. There was no doubt about it Edmund had quite a hard-on. His hand and body had finally had enough waiting. 
“Fuck, I’m sorry, Cas.” Fumbling and shifting, Edmund shifted up and away from Caspian to rid himself of his trousers and pants. “I can’t—these are all... just—too much. They’re in the way. I need to, I want to feel you. Shit.” 
Removing his clothing had been a lot easier thanks to his being on top and in control of his movements. Edmund stripped off his top as quickly as he had with Caspian’s earlier. The cold air greeted his hot skin as a rush of relief and a bit of a disappointment. But when he shifted and moved his hips off of Caspian’s to remove his clothing, his whole body felt a sudden jolt of disappointment and irritation. Was he moving along too quickly? Would this sudden outburst make Caspian more hesitant?
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@hearkenedsouls
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nochiquinn · 3 years ago
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four-sided dive episode 2: #good #professional
I have a keyboard! go fuck yourself, ipad keyboard
sdhfsk I just saw the name of the drink special
sam what
"what's a sad dad dance?" "it's just how you dance, man?"
mala: "I'm wearing flip flops today" Liam: comtemplates divorce
laura's hair looks so good
gofundme so I can get purple hair again
laura stop making fun of me
taliesin cornering momlan and demanding embarrassing stories about sam's childhood
laura: STOP TALKING ABOUT FEET
I also did not see lost boys until I was an adult
Moon Is Haunted
"as I tell you what happened on your show"
taliesin don't you bring the summerses into this
you were THERE SAMUEL
"the show is to catch sam up to speed"
"I don't even know what they're not talking about"
sam doesn't watch the product
"the moons could be chunks of god"
the souls are stored in the poop
"I have already exhausted laura, fifteen minutes into the show"
mala: "for most of us will get stale" Travis is big enough to count as a majority
"shopping is like the character creator, I want to try every hair color" I may or may not have spent two solid hours in the elden ring cc
mala: this is Laura's world and everyone else has the privilege of being an NPC in it me: this is also true for imogen
I ctrl-z'd and it erased a whole chunk of notes, thanks notepad
"JUST KEEP READING THE PROMPTER"
they absolutely stacked the tower before whatever they painted them with was dry
orym's little rp tricycle
l a u r a
mala: Orym coming out as bi but from the opposite direction
taliesin finding a machine to rage against
[ducks debris from the exploding southerngothic fandom]
"they're a flat earther" liam: [heavy sigh]
the subs just said "tallison"
the subs are now half the show for me
I can't believe dani is going to kill sam in the parking lot
I can't believe the producers are gonna kill sam in the parking lot
okay that's really fucking cool tho
can't believe they showed animal death right on the show smh
we'll find out when laura finds out
"ashton doesn't care but percy is in the back screaming"
my psych major comparisons are validated
my accent suffers from laura and fcg's accents
"it's worse when you need people and you're bad at it" can we not call me out like this
shadow imogen
chaos gremlins (affectionate)
whiskey slap
"you won't get that when MARISHA hosts!" "I mean…"
imogen temult, moon pony princess
"somewhere around here laura slapped me and it all changed"
I desire to see a consequence
muppets!
….fearne WOULD be janet
"HAMMER! :D"
kermit 🤝 orym only sane man
"they should just let us run the country" honestly tho
lore nuggets, new name of the show
I know even less about street fighter than I did about mario kart, so
"now I'm gonna button mash to see if I can make him to fancy stuff" me
"why is that person firing a gun into the air"
imogen hears everybody's intrusive thoughts
"I want the TOTS" "fair"
"he hates characters that have nothing good going on, because he's a good boy"
"we want more dani!" true
there is so much hair in this fight
"do you have a question for me?" "no. …other than WHY"
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fair-fae · 6 years ago
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this is nervewracking to ask, but i'm going to do it anyway. what did cyril do that was abusive? i can't see it, and honestly that just makes me scared that i do some of the same things and don't recognize it.
Hey, anon! This is a perfectly fine question and there’s nothing wrong with asking it (the issues lies in people who don’t see the abuse and then decided obviously that means it’s just not happening… and then go the extra mile of harassing the victim and their supporters). Thank you for asking! I’ll try to explain as best as I can, but the best advice I can give is to Google signs of emotional abuse and you can find a lot of lists of certain behaviors. Most are framed in terms of romantic relationships, but they can happen with friends, family, RP partners–anyone, in real life and online alike.Cut for length and general sensitive content dealing with emotional abuse and the dreaded “drama”
Here are some common ones that imo appeared in the logs:Isolation
Abusers often try to isolate victims from their friends/family and any other relations they might have. A sad and lonely victim makes for an easier target, as does one with no support network to help them escape their abuser. It also means less people around to find out about the abuser’s true nature. In the logs we see him try to cast doubt on her friends, telling her that her friends were bothering him and calling him “her keeper” or coming to him about her private conversations with them that they were displeased about (yet refusing to say who, to leave her questioning everyone), not mentioning her friends and tumblr followers were worried about her and trying to reach her until after the fact, etc.Walking on EggshellsA lot of people in abusive relationships describe it as feeling like “walking on eggshells.” They try to avoid doing things that might set off their abuser… but their abuser has to keep them from being content and confident to keep them in control, so they’ll find smaller and more irrational things to get upset at them about. Replying “if you want” to being asked about taking screenshots becomes a point of contention. “When are you going to stop being sad?” becomes an angry question. She’s blamed for deleting her own blog even though he knew she did it for her health/happiness. She’s blamed for the smallest inconvenience of people asking him if she’s okay even though she has no control over them choosing to reach out to him and for the most part didn’t even have any knowledge of it. Rather than answer them or ask them to stop contacting him, he ignores them, then blames her for him continuing to receive questions from them and the perception he believes that people think he had a falling out with her.
Gaslighting
This is what I saw the most of them in the logs and the most alarming thing. Gaslighting is turning everything around on the victim and making them doubt their own memory/sanity/intelligence/credibility. No, that didn’t really happen, you’re lying. No, what I did to you wasn’t that bad, it was normal, you’re just dramatic. No, I didn’t really say that, you’re misremembering. It’s a lot of lies, justifications, twisting words and scenarios, and taking things out of context.You can see how everything is spun as her fault and actually hurting him. Her deleting her blog is her fault. Him receiving messages about it is her fault. Her not doing anything about the messages is her fault, even though he just now told her it was bothering him, even though he just now told her he was still even receiving them past the first couple ones. Her being unhappy is her fault and a bother for him. Her not being enthused enough to do things with him is her fault, why doesn’t she appreciate that he so generously offered to hang out just to make her feel better? Obviously it’s all because she just hates him. He’s not treating her like an inconvenience, that’s just her mental illness telling her that. She tries to talk to him about her feelings and the way he’s treating her, and rather than acknowledging it, he turns it around–rather illogically and irrationally–about how he is actually the one being mistreated and inconvenienced.Passive Aggression 
A classic way to make people feel like shit but then pretend you did nothing and act like it’s all in their head. Look at the language he uses. Calling her “childish and rash” for “expecting” him to answer messages about her even though she never said she expected that. “It’s better than nothing” when she tries to do something to address the people messaging him as soon as she finds out it’s bothering him. “I don’t think you handled something well -  whatever -  people handle things in different ways” in regards to her deleting her blog for her own happiness. “I would have hoped we could resolve the problem if we’d talked it over” as if he wasn’t the obstacle in that.Those are just a few examples from the first album (the others get into less passive aggression, and more… downright aggression but still have plenty of examples, “delete them - so you don’t just repost them later without my knowledge again.”).ControllingnessThe staple of abuse is an attempt to control the victim. Look how weirdly hung up he is on her deleting her own blog and not doing it in a way he approved of (I almost wonder if he’s upset because he lost the status points of having a “tumblr famous” ship partner?). Look at how, even after they stopped being friends, he wants to keep her character on his ship page after she’d asked him to remove it and he admits to intentionally doing it to make her talk to him and give him leverage over her. Look at how he won’t let her go talk to her own friends in private for advice regarding him and shames her for it being an invasion of “privacy,” as if the logs showed some personal/RL info and not just him being unreasonable. Look at how concerned he is with people on tumblr not assuming the two of them are on bad terms. Look at how, even after they stop being friends, he browses her blogs for posts he believes are about him and tries to tell her what she can and can’t say on her own blogs.It’s evident in his branding post, as well. If people cut ties with him on terms he doesn’t like, they can’t RP having a brand–because he said so. Even if they change the story of how they received it and what character gave it to them. Even if they had that idea before they met him and asked him to RP it with them. Even if they change the look of the brand so it’s no longer his design. This isn’t even a unique idea or something he came up with on his own. Branding slaves has been a RL practice. It’s been made into a trope with… pretty much every fictional slave storyline.And while I’m generally of the opinion of the opinion that IC =/= OOC, IC does not exist within a void unaffected by OOC and vice versa. It’s just speculation since there’s nothing wrong with RPing the type of character he does, but there could very well be a reason he’s drawn to an antagonist/rapist/slaver/abuser/sadist/kidnapper type character.Lack of Care for BoundariesShe says she doesn’t want to be friends anymore, she blocks him, she asks him to delete her number, so what does he do? He not only keeps her number, but texts her because he hopes she hasn’t blocked him there, too. Not even to make an apology, just to say “I would have hoped we could resolve the problem if we’d talked it over” as if he hadn’t been an obstacle in that and “if you change your mind, I’ll be here” to put the onus of fixing the problem on her. When that doesn’t seem to get a response? He keeps their ship on his page despite her asking him to delete it and says, “I used it to make a point, since I knew that you wouldn’t continue the conversation unless I had something to get your attention.” He knows she doesn’t want to talk to him, so rather than honoring it or even finding a respectable way to approach her and make amends… he’s does something against her wishes that he know will upset her so she’ll feel compelled to reluctantly reach out to him. And when he gets that platform he wanted, does he use it to apologize? Nooope! He uses it as leverage to make her delete her screenshots of their conversation.Ultimatums How do you make someone do something they want to do? Give them an alternative that’s even worse. You want your name removed from my ship list so people don’t think you’re associated with me after you’ve realized I’m not someone you want to be around? You have to message me, delete your logs of our conversation, and not say anything about me. You don’t want me to embarrass you by posting logs of your confession to me and me rejecting you? You shouldn’t do things I don’t like, then… oh, but I’d never actually do that, don’t worry, silly! :) :) :)General Narcissism There are numerous times he demands he should be more appreciated. I did all these things to try to cheer up you, be grateful no matter how I’m treating you now. I’ve been so nice to you, how dare you say you feel like I don’t care even when I’m disregarding your feelings. Heck, look at the posts about his rules regarding his branding. He acts like it’s a revolutionary idea he came up with all his own and anyone he’s RPing with is being graced with this groundbreaking idea and if they keep some element of it in their RP after cutting ties with him they’re just “piggy-backing off" his time, effort, and energy to make up for their “lack of creativity” like srsly dude??Even though he refuses to apologize or acknowledge any wrongdoing, he really wants her to forgive and her to make things up to him, to still be his friend, to still have a positive opinion of him so he won’t lose that control. He can’t just let things die. Look at how many times he brings up being “villified” to her friends, the community, etc. He is desperate to have the world see him in a good light, which goes back to the other things mentioned. Control over the perceptions people have of him. The power of popularity and being liked to better isolate victims. Respect from the community to lend credibility that he’s trustworthy and definitely not gaslighting.
And not directed at you, anon, but in general.. for all the people trying to spin at as someone mad they got rejected who was actually terrorizing him… really? The only person who brought up her feelings in the logs was him doing it to spite her. idk I’ve dealt with a lot of admirers not taking rejection well and lemme tell you, I don’t invite them to hang out IRL (I try to avoid seeing them IRL, actually), I don’t ask them to hang out with me in game, I don’t go to lengths to contact them when they’ve blocked them, I don’t ship with them and try to parade it on my blog even after the ship has been retconned, I don’t desperately try to stay in contact with them and convince them to see me in a positive light, I don’t manipulate them into messaging me when I know they don’t want to talk, I don’t try to control their lives and their blogs, and I definitely don’t threaten them with ultimatums. Honestly, nobody deserves that in any context, even if they were a terrible person themselves.
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RFA + minor trio... MC with anorexia? I'm sorry if this bothers you, you don't have to answer, I'm just going through a rough patch and it would help. Thank you.
***I am not bothered, although, I am very concerned about you anon, please make sure that you eat and if you are having trouble, there are many anonymous hotlines you can call for help. Take care of yourself please T_TAlso, reminder, it is always best to seek professional help, the RFA characters are just normal people at the ebd of the day though and I have to work with *their* personalities not necessarily what is best for you. They are not perfect, but they try really really hard. ~Let’s Connect! FFC***
Characterbreakdown: Good ending canon characters, Secret ending 02 Saeran, V from theoriginal routes with no operation, my version ofVanderwood as seen in my VanderwoodBackstory Fanfiction
-
Jumin:
His first indication that something was wrong was that you wouldn’t eat dinner with him
The one time you had eaten dinner with him, he’d questioned you time after time as to why you only picked at your food rather than truly eating. He’d noticed how you shrunk into yourself when he asked, but he wasn’t sure
As time went on, he saw how thin you were getting, the way you seemed to be so wispy and weak
Jumin immediately began researching all of your symptoms, at first coming to the conclusion you had cancer, thanks WebDoc, but upon actually confronting you, the truth came out
His face had a total change. “MC. You should have told me much sooner.”
He was somewhat business like, getting you the best of doctors and therapists, but whenever you were alone he was so gentle, offering you small portions of snacks that he even had made himself instead of calling for the cooks
Every step of the way, Jumin was there with a gentle or a tough love manner as needed, reminding you just how beautiful and loved you were, especially when healthy
-
Seven:
With his own eating habits and sleeping schedule, it takes him a long time to notice that you were eating like a rabbit, very little and not nutritiously whatsoever, but what was he supposed to say that wouldn’t make him hypocritical?
He figured that you were just like he was, an irregular lifestyle that still kept you healthy, right up until he rolled over to pull you close and he felt just how thin you’d gotten
Seven recoiled from you, staring at you open mouthed for a while and you kept asking him what was wrong and what had gone wrong, but he played it off as everything was fine
The next morning, for some reason, Vanderwood was there cooking small snacks and marking them
Seven came up to you and pulled you into his arms, all pretense of joking gone as he told you that everything was okay, and you were both going to do better from here on out
He would tell you how amazing you looked with every pound you gained, making a nifty little scale that would count downwards the amount of pounds you needed to gain rather than showing a scale that went upwards so as to help your psyche handle it
You were both able to eat healthier, and the small meals with an actual schedule really helped Thanks to Vanderwood’s cooking.
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Jaehee:
She was constantly trying to offer you more food when you would just pick at your lunch at the cafe’
Jaehee, being the person she is, simply just let it be, thinking you must have just been one of those people who ate very little for lunch and more for breakfast and dinner
It became more concerning as you began to collapse during your shift from fatigue and general lack of energy
“MC, this is it. We’re going to see a doctor.” Not only was not being able to complete your shift inappropriate, but she was also really worried about her partner
Once it became apparent that you were anorexic and had become intensely underweight, cue momma Jaehee mode
It was almost like having your own personal assistant as she took charge of your needs and vetted the proper therapist/nutritionist for you
Even though it was an added expense: “It’s best to leave this to the professionals.”
She would reward you with Zen movie marathons when you made healthy choices, and who’s going to turn that down?
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Zen:
He notices almost immediately that you’re losing weight. Not that he’s constantly looking at you or anything
Zen continues to try to get you to be honest about why you were losing so much weight, but it wasn’t until he found the size 0 ‘Goal pants’ in your closet along with a number of women’s magazines all based on the ideal body type that he understood
Once he confronted you, you revealed that you felt inadequate next to him, even more so when people were criticizing your appearance online
Cue Zen taking cooking classes just so he could make you healthier meals, becoming your personal trainer to teach you how to properly work on your body, and praising you constantly, even more than he ever had before, my beautiful Babe~
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Yoosung:
This boy was making you food constantly for your dates, but you always seemed to not have much of an appetite, and it made him think you hated his cooking so he just tried harder!
It wasn’t long before he noticed the way his hoodie seemed to swallow you up when you’d wear it at his place, and…snuggling you seemed to not be as cozy anymore
As a vet medicine student, he confronted you and demanded you see a doctor because he was afraid you were ill. Your refusal and eventual breakdown that you were just anorexic made his violet eyes go wide
“But MC, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen…” His astonishment quickly turned to determination. “My precious girl won’t be allowed to suffer any longer!”
Along with his vet homework, Yoosung takes it upon himself to study how to help people with eating disorders and even goes to group meetings with you to make sure you’re comfortable and feel safe
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V:
Thanks to his loss of vision, he can’t see much of you to begin with, so he doesn’t notice the weight loss or really how little you eat until the two of you start to get physical with each other
It’s only all too apparent to him that you’re severely underweight, and he asks for Jumin’s help in getting you appointments with the best doctors in town
He knows all too well at this point that he can’t expect to heal your problems with love and pretty words, so he makes sure to enter a program for enablers as well so that he can be of most help to you
His insistence on checking your waist line all the time is somewhat unnerving at first, but you soon find it to be a comforting part of your relationship and sweet how he is checking on your progress
Expect many compliments once you’re at a healthy weight
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Saeran:
It’s not like he was the proper weight when he got out of the hospital, but his wasn’t because of an eating disorder
He simply couldn’t understand why you would turn down food when he’d grown up being denied of food
Eventually, he couldn’t help but snap at you over it, causing a big mess of tears as you told him the truth
Saeran felt so horrible after the truth came out, wanting to lock himself up in his room for hurting you so badly, and he did there for a little while, which only made you eat less. It wasn’t until Seven came to check on you and found you passed out and impossible to wake that you were taken to the hospital
Your boyfriend just felt even worse now, but Seven was able to shake some sense into him that the reason it had gone so badly wasn’t because he had hurt you but was because you needed his support and him by your side, which helped to get him to break out of his own insecurity that you hated him for snapping at you
It was very touch and go, but the two of you learned to be more patient with each other through the entire ordeal
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Vanderwood:
Your refusal to eat the portion he’d made for you was immediately met with irritation. “This is the right portion size for a woman of your age and height.”
He was smart enough to realize that once you mentioned eating less because ‘I’m so fat’, despite being quite small, that you had an eating disorder
Vanderwood started to make smaller meals more often during the day, tricking you at first into eating properly until you had a breakdown on the scale because you’d gained weight
After that, he simply disposed of the scale, convincing you that you had a problem and needed to see a doctor not long after
He worked tirelessly to make sure you were getting proper activity and meals, letting your doctor take care of the emotional aspects associated with your disorder
The way he saw it, you’d helped him through his problems, so to make you happy like you made him, he would do whatever it took
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rpbetter · 3 years ago
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Hey, OP, I want to be really clear: I'm not reblogging this and talking about it to shame you or negate the validity of what you're saying! It actually made me laugh because it is relatable and the sort of valid that one has to laugh over.
It's just that this happens to be in line with a topic I see as a recurrent problem within the RPC: we really forget that muns are, actually, real people until we hit their Munday posts.
Again, I don't mean this in an accusatory or derogatory way. This, too, is understandable. Depending on how a mun writes RP, engages with the RPC, and/or their OOC activity on the blog, there is an intentional removal of reality on the blog - including the mun themselves. We know, logically, everyone here is a real person, but the whole point of RP is the muses and the fictional situations we're writing out. They're the focal point, not us.
Now, that gets worse when the mun posts OOC material that is...going to politely call it "hostile." When we see this repeatedly, that's the only consistent element of their personality we're getting. This becomes a bit like the mun's very own "characterization," and because it is offensive to us, we do not envision them as a "normal" person we'd pass on the street.
We'd like to think that there are visual indicators of someone being a problem, that's something reflected in fiction (often in unfortunate and offensive, insensitive, stereotypical ways that negatively impact marginalized races, gender types, sexualities, neurodivergence, etc) with most villains. We'd like to think this because then, we'd be safer. It's just something we're inclined to do as human beings, even if we cognitively know better.
So, of course, it is deeply uncomfortable when we're slapped by a reminder that this isn't the case! This mun we find troubling doesn't look like the epitome of evil, they could be your cousin or neighbor, someone working the checkout counter at Walgreens or walking their dog in the park. It's unsettling.
Like I said, this made me laugh and is a situation I have experienced (I think we've all experienced), but I think recognizing why is important. This person certainly sounds unpleasant, but they are a person. That doesn't mean they are entitled to make others miserable, or to respect and decency they are not showing others! Being a person doesn't mean a free pass or mandatory interactions instead of blocking and avoiding.
I'm just saying that, collectively, the RPC does have many issues that circle back around to removing the reality that we're people - no matter what kind of people we're choosing to be on tumblr.
It's both not for everyone, for various reasons, and incredibly unpopular every time I say it, but it's my genuine opinion that we should take the opportunity every Munday to remind other muns that we do exist as people. Even more unpopular, that we shouldn't strictly avoid or restrict our OOC presence on our own blogs, or refuse to communicate in small ways like commenting on HC posts and such.
Very few people here anymore RP in a way that is set up as though the muse is running the blog, giving the full illusion of the muse's reality without the mun. RP as collaborative storytelling instead of being an online version of LARP predominates, so maybe it's also time to stop hiding that we, as muns, exist.
It's harder to instigate and continue petty drama or vilify someone right off of tumblr if you have to view them as a real person, and with the resurgence of things like blogs specifically existing as callout repositories, I believe this is important. It's maybe time to reassess how visible we are as human beings.
And honestly, it works both ways! It's harder for most people to continue to bully others with targeted callouts, name-dropping in DNIs, and never letting go of perceived slights when they also exist as legitimate people instead of Nebulously Righteous Warriors for the RPC who have no shame because they have the all-important sense of distance from the powerless people they are offline.
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It’s so weird to look at a roleplaying blog, see a bunch of super toxic things like callouts, drama, and name drops as you’re scrolling down (more and more in disgust) - and then you see a happy munday photo (or photoset) of the mun where they took a snapshot of themselves in a mirror, or some other typical selfie pose. And they look NORMAL. It’s just like, hmm, so THAT is the face of this (particular) evil. It’s really unsettling!
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