#{I'm a natural born dick xD}

[kiwibirdlafayette]

I was reading some of your more recent stuff to catch up on what I’ve missed because I crave new mianite content (lol) and I was wondering if you had more reasoning as to why you decided to switch calling vh!Jordan Sparklez instead? I guess they do call him Sparklez and Captain a lot in vhsmp xD

Oh ye thats true! :D Honestly that's probably mainly the reason for how I decided to refer to them to not be confusing; that moreso in VH the other folks refer to him more as Sparklez, versus in Mianite he was mostly called Jordan, if any of the sparkly-dick esque nicknames xD I also maybe tie it into the nature of their character in my headcanon, Sparklez (VH) being someone inherently mystical, born to the Void and the End from the start v. Jordan being initially a human who came into his dragon-eque powers of Ianite and the End through the passing of quintessence from goddess to champion

The two names'll probably be just for fic purposes because I'm havin both of them in there at the same time, but I'll still use VH!Jordan for like analysis n stuff and things yeee :D

[gxrdenofoblivion-blog]

Continued from {🌘}

With: @mawsitsit

Sin darse cuenta sus pies se adelantaron un poco para tomarle la mano, pero no fue capaz- zasshu, no -murmuró mirándola entre orgulloso y dolido, llamandola así en un intento malo de bromear a pesar del dolor de su corazón. Ella había aprendido bien, y tenía razón, pero tenía un mal presentimiento al respecto.

La MoonCell le daba mala espina, y él jamás había creído en deseos todopoderosos... Pero ella quería salvar la Tierra, ¿qué tan malo podía ser?- Por favor, no -Gilgamesh nunca pedía nada de aquella, forma, pero la forma en que le estaba hablando... No quería que la MoonCell la borrara. Ella era tan interesante, tan divertida, y siempre tan complaciente de sus caprichos.

Sin pensarlo más la tomó por la espalda en un abrazo brusco pero honesto, haciéndola retroceder entre sus brazos- No necesitas esperar, vámonos ahora mismo... Todos y cada uno de los sitios que te dije, y otros nuevos, vámonos en este momento y te prometo que nunca más irás a ninguna parte a donde no pueda verte -la idea de seguir perdiendo a la gente que amaba era como una puñalada en el alma- Hakuno, ven conmigo.

[delusion-of-negation]

Tbh I myself don't mind having ADHD, I treat it as a part of me, if I could get rid of just one specific thing it'd be executive dysfunction but the other aspects aren't really...bothering me in any capacity let's say. Like I experience them but it's like...ADHD was never seen as a real disorder over here, I was raised with the idea that this is just who I am and how I am. So that's what I treat it as. Like yeah, I've had a diagnosis since I was three, but again, I've never been medicated and it's not really seen as a "real" disorder, so I treat it the way my grandpa treats his colourblidness - it's just who we are. I can't imagine not having ADHD, it'd be like not being me or like having a part of me removed. I feel like it's innate to me, much like colourblidness to my grandpa. I was born like this, so it's me. The only condition I would remove if I could is BPD because that's not me, it's not inherent to me and it's more like a broken leg or a tumour. I wouldn't really desire to remove it if it made life difficult mostly for me, I think, but it's a condition that can have external consequences and I think people around me would be much happier with my existence if I didn't have it.

if we're bringing physical health issues into the "I wish I could rid myself of..." list it's gonna be doubling xD but executive dysfunction is really one of the hardest parts of adhd for me, along with the lack of focus and the irritability that is a hellish team up of my adhd and autism and a bit of my c-ptsd. with my DID, I think having a distinction of "who I am" based on what I really am by virtue of "I was born with it" makes even less sense than it would anyway - like naturally I'm not inclined to think of it entirely that way - but with DID it's like yeah I most definitely was not born with most aspects of who I am, since I've only existed for a few years and my body is not only a few years old. I think, I mostly desire to get rid of things because of their impact on me, otherwise DID would have to go because it definitely bugs other people but like... I'm really not gonna poof off this planet just because it's annoying for people that I'm unpredictable and shit. maybe that's selfish, but I think most folks wouldn't be like "yeah I'll die just because I can be a dick to my friends sometimes", y'know? it really is a tough conundrum and a tough place to know exactly where to draw the lines, and it totally is valid wherever you personally want to.