#{|You should understand what I want; without me having to tell you everything: Wishlist|}

[take-ya-to-the-ghey-bar]

this is really random lil post, but~... since i've been thinking about this recently, thought i'd make a lil post about it--

𝓡𝓟 𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓷𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓦𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽~

Below the cut is a list of muses i'd love to write with at some point or another~, and while i know some of my mutuals do write certain muses that'll be mentioned-- I still had the desire to include them, just for the sake of making that interest a lil more apparent~ u w u

𝓒𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷 𝓡𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓜𝓾𝓼𝓮𝓼

Shouhei Ikushima

Tatsumi

Chikazawa

Yuka

Other side/Background characters (ie: Minato's old FWBs, his/Itsuki's mother Reiko, his/Itsuki's grandmother)

𝓒𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓼 𝓞𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓑𝓪𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝓜𝓾𝓼𝓮𝓼

The "Love Interests" cast from the Amnesia VNs (ie: Ikki, Shin, Toma, and Kent-- tho mainly the first two, is i'm being fully honest)

The "Love Interests" cast from Collar x Malice (added note that writing with Ichika might be fun as well, but i do admit that most of the boys are more on mind with this lol--)

Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho (tho tbh, i feel like Minato meeting Kuwabara or Hiei could be a riot too lol)

Added cast from The Case Study of Vanitas (namely the man himself, plus perhaps Jeanne and Domi as well--)

[borisbubbles]

Character analysis: Vivienne de Fer (Dragon Age Inquisition)

So, if you’ve wondered where I popped off to the past two months or so, I’m going to give you an answer - I finally bought Dragon Age Inquisition (legit on my gaming wishlist since its 2014 release) and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since. 

The main draw to this game however, isn’t so much the gameplay (if you want a game that feels similar but has better gameplay - Assassin’s Creed Odyssey is what you’d want instead), but the storytelling and particularly the character development are top notch. All nine companions are fascinating and fleshed out in such a realistic manner I’m still gasping in awe on my fifth playthrough.  Thus, a post on it is in order. It’s a bit different from my usual content, but don’t let that discourage you - clearing my head from Dragon Age will allow me to let Eurovision back in and continue my unfinished 2020 ranking.  In this post, I will be analyzing one of DAI’s most interesting characters - none other than Madame de Fer herself, Vivienne.  Now, I’m under the impression that this is a rather unpopular opinion but I absolutely love Vivienne. And no, I won’t apologize for it. As a Templar-thumping elitist with a icy, sardonic demeanor the sheer ‘Idea Of A Vivienne’ is meant to make your head spin. Dragon Age has always been a franchise in which mages are a socially surpressed group and to be confronted with a socially confident enchantress who likes Templars and seemingly supports the social shunning out of her own ambition is the walking embodiment of flippancy. 

and yet, I feel a lot of sympathy for Vivienne. 

Yes, she’s a bitch. She knows she’s one and she’s a-ok with it. I won’t argue with that. Sadly, the “Vivienne is a bitch” rhetoric also drastically sells her short. Vivienne is highly complex and her real personality is as tragic as it is twisted. 

Madame de Fer

So let’s start with what we are shown on the surface. Vivienne is a high-ranking courtier from an empire notable for its deadly, acid-laced political game. She seemingly joins the Inquisition for personal gain, to acrue reputation and power, and eventually be elected Divine (= female pope) at the end of the game. She presents herself as a despicable blend of Real Housewife, Disney Villain, and Tory Politician, all rolled into one ball of sickening, unctuous smarm. Worse, the Inquisitor has no way to rebuke Vivienne’s absurd policies and ideas. You can’t argue with her, convince her to listen to your differing viewpoints or even kick her out the Inquisition. She has a way with words where she can twist arguments around in such a fashion that she lands on top and makes the other person look like the irrational party.

“Thus speaks the Inquisitor who has made so many mature and level-headed choices so far. Such as releasion malcontents upon the population without safeguards to protect them should they turn into abominations. Very wise. I rearranged some furniture. Lives aren’t thrown into jeopardy by my actions. Perhaps a little perspective is needed.”

She’s Cersei Lannister on creatine, Dolores Umbridge on motherfucking roids. If you look at merely the surface, then yes, Vivienne looks like the worst person ever created. I love a good anti-villainess however, and she’s definitely one. 

Yet, she never actually does anything ‘evil’? Yes, she is ‘a tyrant’ as a Divine, but 1) the person saying this is Cassandra, whose dislike for mage freedom is only matched by her dislike of being sidelined 2) Divine Vivienne isn’t bad to mages either? (hold that thought, I’ll get to it). She never actually sabotages the Inquisition, no matter how low her approval with the Inquisitor gets. She never attempts to stop them, no matter how annoyed she is. She’s one of the most brutally honest companions in the cast, in fact. (It always surprises me people call her a ‘hypocrite’ - you keep using that word and it doesn’t mean what you think it means.) The ‘worst’ display of character is when she attempts to break up Sera and the Inquisitor and even then - are we going to pretend Sera isn’t a toxic, controlling girlfriend with a huge chip on her shoulder? I love Sera, but come on.  

Vivienne is a character where the storytelling rule of Show, Don’t Tell is of vital importance. The Orlesian empire is an empire built around posturing and reputation. Nobody really shows their true motivations or character, and instead builds a public façade. It’s like how the Hanar (the Jellyfish people) in Mass Effect have a Public name they use in day-to-day life, and a Personal Name for their loved-ones and inner circle. Vivienne’s ‘Public Visage’ is that of Madame de Fer - this is the Vivienne who openly relishes in power, publicly humiliates grasping anklebiters with passive-aggressive retorts, the woman who is feared and loathed by all of Orlais, and this is the Face you see for most of the game.

The real beauty of Vivienne’s character and the reason why I love her as much as I do (which is to say - a LOT) are the few moments when - what’s the phrase DigitalSpy love so much - Her Mask Slips, and you get a glimpse of the real woman underneath the hennin.

This is the Vivienne who stands by you during the Siege of Haven and approves of you when you save the villagers from Corypheus’s horde.

This is the Vivienne who comforts you when you lament the losses you suffered.

This is the Vivienne who admires you for setting an example as a mage for the rest of Thedas.

This is the Vivienne who worries about Cole’s well-being during his personal quest, momentarily forgetting who or what he is. 

This is the Vivienne who, when her approval for the Inquisitor reaches rock bottom, desperately reminds him of the suffering mages go through on a day-to-day basis because of the fear and hatred non-mages are bred to feel towards them and how this can spiral into more bloodshed without safeguards. 

This is the Vivienne who shows how deep her affection for Bastien de Ghislain truly is, by bringing you along during his dying moments. I love this scene btw. This is the only moment in the entire game where Vivienne is actually herself in the presence of the Inquisitor - needless to say, I consider anyone who deliberately spikes her potion a motherfucking psychopath ^_^)

“There is nothing here now” fuck I *almost* cried at Vivienne, get out of my head BioWare, this is WRONG -- people who delude themselves this is an irredeemable character. 

So, who is Vivienne really?

Understanding Vivienne requires recognizing that the mask and the real woman aren’t the same person. I think her relationship with Dorian is the prime example of this. I love the Vivienne/Dorian banter train, obviously - an unstoppable force of sass colliding with an unmovable wall of smarm is nothing short of a spectacle. However, there’s more to it than their highly entertaining snipes. As the incredibly gifted son of a magister, Dorian represents everything Vivienne should despise, and should be a natural enemy to her. And yet, she doesn’t and he isn’t.. Their gilded japes at each other are nothing more than verbal sparring, not dissimilar to how Krem and Iron Bull call each other names when they beat each other with sticks. In what I think is one of the most brilliantly written interactions between characters in DAI, I present Vivienne’s reaction when the Inquisitor enters a romance with Dorian:

Vivienne: I received a letter the other day, Dorian. Dorian: Truly? It's nice to know you have friends. 🙄 Vivienne: It was from an acquaintance in Tevinter expressing his shock at the disturbing rumors about your... relationship with the Inquisitor. Dorian: Rumors you were only too happy to verify, I assume. 🙃 Vivienne: I informed him the only disturbing thing in evidence was his penmanship. 🙂 Dorian: ...Oh. Thank you. 😳 Vivienne: I am not so quick to judge, darling. See that you give me no reason to feel otherwise.

Madame de Fer can never be seen directly expressing approval to a relationship between the Herald of Andraste and an ‘Evil’ Tevinter ’Magister’. By this subtle, subtle conversation, Vivienne indirectly tells Dorian that she considers him a good match for the Inquisitor and approves of the romance. It’s one of those reasons why I could never truly dislike Vivienne - between the layers of elegant poison lies a somewhat decent woman who never loses sight of the bigger picture. Not a good person maybe, but not one without some redeeming qualities.

The crux of Vivienne’s personality is that she, like all DAI companions, is a social outcast. She’s a mage in a fantasy setting where mages are psionically linked to demons, and grew up in a country where the majority religion has openly advocated the shunning and leashing of mages (’Magic exists to serve man’ - the Chantry is so, so vile in this game.). Vivienne’s “gift” was discovered so early in her life that she can barely remember her parents. Vivienne grew up in a squalid boarding school, learning from a young age that she’s dangerous and her talents need to be tamed and curbed. She is also terrified of demons, as her banters with Cole point out:

Cole: You're afraid. You don't have to be. Vivienne: My dear Inquisitor, please restrain your pet demon. I do not want it addressing me. Inquisitor: He's not doing any harm, Vivienne. Vivienne: It's a demon, darling. All it can do is harm. Cole: Everything bright, roar of anger as the demon rears. No, I will not fall. No one will control me ever again. Cole: Flash of white as the world comes back. Shaking, hollow, Harrowed, but smiling at templars to show them I'm me. Cole: I am not like that. I can protect you. If Templars come for you, I will kill them. Vivienne: Delightful. 😑

Vivienne’s Harrowing is implied to have been such a traumatizing event to her that she’s developed a pavlovian fear of demons ever since. (Hence her hostility towards Cole.). Vivienne is fully aware of the inherent dangers of magic, and projects this onto all other mages. 

Besides, given how Dragon Age has a history with mages doing all sorts of fucked up shit, ranging from blood magic, murder, demonic possession and actual terrorism (yes, *ElthinaBITCH* had it coming, but let’s not pretend like Anders/Justice was anything other than a terrorist), Vivienne’s policies of controlled monitoring and vigilance are actually significantly more sensible than the options of ‘unconditionally freeing every mage all over Thedas’ and ‘reverting back to the status quo before the rebellion’. They’re flawed policies, obviously. When Vivienne says “mages” she pictures faceless silhouettes foremost and not herself. Regardless, unlike Cassandra and Leliana, Vivienne is aware of the fear others harbour for her kind, and how hard it is to overcome such perceptions.  

Additionally, Vivienne’s a foreigner. She is an ethnic Rivaini, a culture associated with smugglers and pirates (Isabela from DAO and DA2 is half-Rivaini). This adds an additional social stigma, again pointed out by Cole:

Cole: Stepping into the parlor, hem of my gown snagged, no, adjust before I go in, must look perfect. Vivienne: My dear, your pet is speaking again. Do silence it. Cole: Voices inside. Marquis Alphonse. Cole: "I do hope Duke Bastien puts out the lights before he touches her. But then, she must disappear in the dark." Cole: Gown tight between my fingers, cold all over. Unacceptable. Wheels turn, strings pull. Cole: He hurt you. You left a letter, let out a lie so he would do something foolish against the Inquisition. A trap. Vivienne: Inquisitor, as your demon lacks manners, perhaps you could get Solas to train it.

This is the only palpable example of the casual racism Vivienne has to endure on a daily basis - Marquis Alphonse is a stupid, bigoted pillowhead who sucks at The Game, but remember - Vivienne only kills him if the Inquisitor decides to be a butthurt thug. She is aware that for every Alphonse, there are dozens of greasy sycophants who think exactly like he does, and will keep it under wraps just to remain in her good graces. 

Finally, there’s the social position Vivienne manufactured for herself, which is the weak point towards her character imo. Remember, this woman is a commoner by birth. She doesn’t even have a surname. Through apparently sheer dumb luck (or satanic intervention) she basically fell into the position of Personal Mage to the Duke of Ghislain. Regardless, ‘Personal mages’ were the rage in Orlesian nobility, and the prestigious families owned by them like one may own a pet or personal property. By somehow becoming Bastien de Ghislain’s mistress and using his influence, "Madame de Fer” liberated herself from all the social stigmata which should have pinned her down into a lowly courtier rank and turned the largely ceremonial office of “Court Enchanter” into a position of respect and power. This is huge move towards mage emancipation by the way, in a society where, again, Mages are feared and shunned and are constantly bullied, emasculated and taught to hate their talents. Vivienne is a shining example of what mages can become at the height of their power. Power she has, mind you, never actually abused before her Divine election. Vivienne’s actions will forever be under scrutiny not because of who she is, but because of what she is. The Grand Game can spit her out at any moment, which will likely result in her death. 

Inquisitor: “You seem to be enjoying yourself, Vivienne?” Vivienne: “It’s The Game, darling. If I didn’t enjoy it, I’d be dead by now.”

Whether Vivienne was using Bastien for her own gain or whether she truly loved him isn’t a case of or/or. It’s a case of and/and. The perception that she was using Bastien makes Vivienne more fearsome and improves her position in the Grand Game, but deep down, I have no doubts truly loved him. Remember, Vivienne’s position at the Orlesian court was secure. She had nothing to gain by saving Bastien’s life, but she attempted to anyway. That Bastien’s sister is a High Cleric doesn’t matter - Vivienne can be elected Divine regardless of her personal quest’s resolution. She loved him, period. 

No, I don’t think Vivienne is a good person. She treats those she deems beneath her poorly, like Sera, Solas, Cole and Blackwall (characters I like less than Vivienne), which I think is the #1 indicator for a Bad Personality. But I don’t think she qualifies as ‘Evil’ either and I refuse to dismiss the beautiful layering of her character. I genuinely believe Vivienne joined the Inquisition not just for her personal gain, but also out of idealism, similar to Dorian (again, Cole is 100% correct in pointing out the similarities between Dorian’s and Vivienne’s motivations for joining, as discomforting it is to her). 

In her mind, Vivienne sees herself as the only person who can emancipate the mages without bloodshed - her personal accomplishments at the Orlesian court speak for themselves. Vivienne isn’t opposed to mage freedom - she worries for the consequences of radical change, as she believes Orlesian society unprepared for the consequences. Hence why she’s perfectly fine with a Divine Cassandra. Hence why her fellow mages immediately elect her Grand Enchanter of the new Circle. 

Hence why Vivienne is so terrified by the Inquisitor’s actions if her disapproval gets too low. The Inquisitor has the power to completely destroy everything she has built and fought for during her lifetime. Remember: Vivienne’s biggest fear is irrelevance - there’s no greater irrelevance than having your life achievements reverse-engineered by the accidental stumbling of some upstart nobody. This is the real reason why she joins, risks her life and gets her hands dirty - the only person whose competence Vivienne trusts, is Vivienne’s own. 

Even as Divine Victoria, I’d say she’s not bad, at all actually. Vivienne has the trappings of an an Enlightened Despot, maintaining full control, while simultaneously granting mages more responsibility and freedom, slowly laying the foundations to make mages more accepted and less persecuted in southern Thedas. Given that Ferelden is a feudal fiefdom and Orlais is an absolute monarchy, this is a fucking improvement are you kidding me. (Wait did he just imply Vivienne is secretly the best Divine - hmm, probably not because Cass/Leliana have better epilogues - but realistically speaking, yes, Viv should be the best Divine and it’s bullshit that the story disagrees.) 

Underneath the countless layers of smarm, frost and seeming callousness, lies a fiercely intelligent and brave woman, whose ideals have been twisted into perversion by the cruel, ungrateful world around her. Envy her for her ability to control her destiny, but know that envy is what it is.  

The flaw in Vivienne’s character isn’t so much the ‘tyranny’ or the ‘bitchiness’ or the 'smarm’. Her flaw is her false belief that she is what the mages need the most. Her belief that her competence gives her the prerogative to serve the unwashed mage masses... by ruling over them. For all intents and purposes, Vivienne is an Orlesian Magister and this will forever be the brilliant tragedy of her character. She was created by a corrupt institution that should, by all accounts fear and loathe her but instead embraced her. It’s that delirious irony that makes Vivienne de Fer one of the best fictional characters in RPG history.  the next post will be Eurovision-related. :-) 

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it. 

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere. 

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM. 

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system. 

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we. 

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick. 

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT. 

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara. 

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what? 

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s. 

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else. 

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes. 

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

[leam1983]

NFTs

A colleague of mine just pinged me on Messenger, stating he was looking for a "group share" for a few NFTs. He had a database link from nonfungible.com, with Wishlisted monkey and skull-type JPEGs that looked like someone had hastily drawn up a template and then cobbled together something similar to an old dressing-doll Flash game, all in order to generate various combinations.

I figured I'd be constructive, at first. "Are you trying to constitute a portfolio? Seeing what's happened with GSC Game World and Ubisoft, I'm not sure I'd peg this as a safe investment opportunity..."

The usual excuses come up. The blockchain is rock-solid, the items are unique, the value's appreciable on other tracking databases as well, et cetera.

I shrug in front of my monitor. "You'd honestly be better served trying to trade in crypto."

He misunderstands, thinking I'm saying he should mint. I correct him, specifying you don't need to add to the environmental impact to have a starting point in crypto. If he's just starting out, I mention, he can pick Ethereum or Cardano, conservatively drop a hundred bucks of each and just sit there until they appreciate in value.

Poor guy really doesn't get it. "A hundred bucks? As far as Ethereum goes, that's worth a fraction of a single coin!"

He whips back to NFTs as a defensive measure. "Come on, man, we could really make bank with this!"

I roll my eyes. "Tell that to Ubisoft. Listen, you'd be better off selling your Pokémon set and your Upper Decks, if what you're looking for is value trading outside of stocks."

Apparently, that hits him like a ton of bricks. "My old Pokémon cards are worth a damn?!"

I give him the basic rundown. Everyone between GameFreak, Wizards of the Coast or even Nintendo itself thrives on scarcity. It's not a new reality brought on by the pandemic; some Switch carts can sell for triple their retail asking price if supply is low enough, and first-generation prints of everything between Magic and Pokémon sets are, as most CCG players know, highly sought-after. Those Upper Decks he's sat on after buying them from Timmy Ho's? Practically priceless, if you're looking for someone who's both a 1993 Stanley Cup fan and a card enthusiast. Moreover, all of that is really fungible, unlike JPEGs and GIFs that'll be worth their weight in dead memory cells once data rot sets in.

That last concept also earns me long, long minutes of Messenger silence.

"What's data rot?"

One day, centuries from now, all the NFTs of the world will be irremediably corrupt as the energy potential of plate drives and SSDs is wholly spent. Even without that, their worth depends on someone being left to understand which transaction the NFT points to. If you don't have that, you're looking at a plain, boring, ordinary image file.

He panics and tries to trip me, for which I have to give him props. "Yeah, but if NFTs flake out, crypto coins will too!"

To which I agree. "The difference is you can cash out of the crypto economy at any time. You can transfer your wallet balance to your PayPal account, get that mailed back to you as a cheque and bam - you've got a physical object that has monetary worth. Even if you print and frame an NFT, you're not claiming total control of its worth. You can never cash out of NFTs - not without first forfeiting ownership and getting the asking price added to your wallet in crypto."

The silence that follows is even longer.

"Dude, you want a mint-condition 1993 Wayne Gretsky? It's never left my binder."

Not interested, I tell him. Privately, I'm just glad I saved the office from spawning its first official NFT Bro...

[btxtreads]

Silver Nights

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: WISHLIST

↳ Pairing: Choi Beomgyu x Reader

↳ word count: 1.7k words

↳ rating: G

↳ genre: fluff? angst?

Y/N whimpered, back pressing against the tree bark as she shivered from the cold breeze passing through. Her hands clenched on the cold snow beneath her fingers as she gulped. From the corner of her eyes, she can see Beomgyu turn his horse around.

Is he seriously leaving her?

Y/N bit her lip as she heard the growling of the wolf grow louder and louder. She scrunched her eyes closed, praying to whatever deity was above that the wolf decided her wasn’t hungry anymore.

Before she or the wolf can do anything else, there were loud and fast crunches of what sounded like hooves on snow. Beomgyu broke through the woods, smoke blowing out of his mouth due to the cold weather as his hands clutched onto an airgun.

The wolf, upon sighting a bigger and better prey with the horse, turned its attention to Beomgyu. Immediately, Beomgyu held the gun up to the sky and pulled the trigger—producing loud sounds that caused the canine to flinch and saunter off in rapid speeds.

“Go, shoo!” Beomgyu said frantically, sighing as he ran his hands through his hair and turned to the girl on the snowy forest floor. “Are you alright?”

“Peachy.” Y/N smiled, dusting herself off as she stood up. “Thanks, Beomgyu.”

“I told you, it’s just Gyuu.” Beomgyu smiled. “Are you cold?”

“Who wouldn’t be in this weather?”

Beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head as he grinned and offered his arm out.

“I’ve got somewhere warm in mind.”

Y/N found herself sitting in front of a fire, in the middle of a gigantic wooden cabin in the middle of the woods. From her position, she can see Beomgyu move in the kitchen. Y/N smiled to herself and pulled the blanket closer to her body as the prince emerged out of the kitchen once more with two large, steaming mugs in his hands.

“This is for you.” Beomgyu offered one of the mugs, a smile on his face as he sat next to her.

Y/N smiled, taking the cup from his hands.

“What’s this?”

“Hot Chocolate, royal recipe.” Beomgyu grinned. “Dad taught me.”

“Yeah?” Y/N grinned, taking a sip and wincing at the strong taste. “It’s good—but what is it made of?”

“50% Cocoa and 50% Alcohol.”

“Perfect.” Y/N giggled, taking another sip.

There was a beat of silence, the prince and the girl sitting side by side and getting warmer as the seconds ticked by. Beomgyu softly set his mug on the coffee table in front of him as he shuffled in his spot, turning over to the girl.

“So, why did you follow me?”

“I didn’t follow you.”

Beomgyu only smiled, tilting his head as he waited for her to reply.

“I-I wanted to know you,” Y/N sighed, setting her mug down next to his. “I wanted to find out who you really are—past the spotlight, past the crown. I want to know Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu nodded softly, eyes falling back onto the fire.

“Sorry to say, I really don’t know him.”

“I think I’m starting to.” Y/N said, grinning when a soft smile appeared on his face. “So, mind telling me where we are?”

“Oh, it’s the royal cabin—of sorts.” Beomgyu shrugged, thumbing the print of the couch. “Yeonjun-hyung, Taehyun, and I used to go here all the time when we were little.”

“Ah, so regular kids have treehouses and you three have a nice, big three-bedroom cabin in the middle of a cozy forest.” Y/N teased.

Beomgyu laughed, shaking his head. His black hair bounced as he lifted his shoulders in a small shrug. The firelight reflected so perfectly in his eyes as he pointed over to a framed photo by the mantle.

“See that? He’s my father.” Beomgyu shared. “I was told he stayed here a lot when I left the country.”

There was another moment of silence. Y/N’s hand landed on his, a sympathetic smile shot towards him.

“Why did you leave?”

“I didn’t want to be king—I knew I wasn’t ready.” Beomgyu sighed. “But he wanted me to be.”

“What happened?”

“I came to him one day and I said I just wanted to be the prince—you know? Not the king, never.” Beomgyu shook his head, hand turning to interlock his hands with the girl’s. “I told him to just give the throne to Yeonjun-hyung. He didn’t like that very much. There was a big fight and I just—left.”

“Oh.”

“Tae and hyung were angry at me for quite some time. I went around the world with nowhere to go—my girlfriend at the time, Eunjae, found out I wasn’t going to be king and broke it off.” Beomgyu explained.

“She was your ex?”

“Yeah, it was a nasty break-up.” Beomgyu snorted. “She sold me to the press and said some fake stories, and that started the whole playboy thing. Now, I can’t even get food without people thinking I’m about to go on a one night stand.”

Y/N frowned, gears turning in her head as she shuffled in her spot.

“So, what now?”

“Now?” Beomgyu shrugged. “Mom wants me to be king, and I still don’t know what to do because I’m still not the guy dad wants me to be.”

“Screw that, everyone can be whoever the hell they want to be.” Y/N pursed her lips, trying her hardest to uplift the boy. “What’s on your wishlist this year?”

“Wishlisht?” Beomgyu giggled.

“Come on, just give me this one.” Y/N laughed, making the boy hum.

“Maybe, to finally own up to what my father thinks I’m worth.” Beomgyu shrugged, turning to the girl. “You?”

“That you finally realize that you’re already way more than what you think you’re worth.” Y/N smiled, making the boy giggle shyly.

Suddenly, he shrugged off the blanket on his shoulders and stood up. He walked over to a nearby desk and pulled a small notebook from a drawer.

“Hey, my sister told me you’re really great in English? You’re a writer, apparently.” Beomgyu asked, flipping the notebook open.

“Yep,” Y/N smiled nervously. “You can say that.”

Beomgyu shot her a small smile and waved her over. The girl shrugged the blanket off her shoulders and followed the prince, head tilting down to the messy scrawl on the pages.

“Can you help me decode this?”

“What is it?”

“It’s a poem—from my father—apparently he was meant to give it to mom this year.” Beomgyu said, eyes scanning the pages.

Y/N scrunched her eyebrows, eyes reading the poem really fast.

On a shooting star, the first sight I lay

The answer to everything I pray

Pandora’s box, the key nowhere to be found

The secret will keep the throne safe and sound

“That’s beautiful.” Y/N smiled.

“Yeah, but hard to understand.” Beomgyu shot the girl a small smile. “Poetic but what does it mean?”

“Maybe it’s something that only they understand?” Y/N said, fingers passing through the dried ink on the page. “It’s beautiful.”

Y/N smiled, turning over to the prince—whose face was close to hers. Y/N’s heart stuttered in it’s wake, eyes falling onto Beomgyu’s lips. The prince let out a soft breath, head inching forward and forehead leaning on hers. Y/N can feel his hair brush against her forehead, a small smile on her lips as his begin to brush hers. She closes her eyes, hands reaching up to cup his face and crash her lips against his when a shrill tone cut through the silent cabin.

Oh my my my, oh my my my

You got me high so fast

Ne jeonbureul hamkkehago sipeo

Both of them flinched, turning to the coffee table where Beomgyu’s phone lay. The prince only sighed, frowning as he leaned his forehead on hers.

“I’m sorry,”

Y/N only smiled, running her thumbs through his cheeks.

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

Oh my my my, oh my my my

You got me fly so fast

Ije jogeumeun na algesseo

“You should take that.” Y/N said, finally pulling away and leaning on the desk.

Beomgyu sighed in frustration, sauntering over to pick up the call.

“What the fuck do you want, man?… Yeah… We’re at the cabin…Tell Taehyun to—… Well, hold her back?… Whatever, hyung. Fuck off… Yeah, yeah, we’re on our way back… I hate you.” Beomgyu groaned in frustration as he hung up the phone, returning to the girl with a shy smile. “I should go get the horse ready.”

“You should.”

Beomgyu grinned, hand softly landing on her waist as he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you for listening.”

Y/N’s heart panged when she remembered the reason why she listened, but for this time—she deluded herself to believe that she’s there for him for no other reason that to just be with him. However, as she watched Beomgyu’s figure disappear behind the closed door of the cabin, she knew she had a job to do.

Immediately, she turned. Grabbing her phone out of her pocket, she rapidly snapped a picture of the poem. Assessing its readability, she nodded to herself and opened drawers upon drawers trying to look for something.

While she did find a lot of things—an airgun, a photo of the three boys when they were young, multiple blank notebooks—Y/N didn’t find anything all that interesting.

Not until she bent down to rummage through the bottom drawer and finding a secret compartment at the underside of the table.

Opening the compartment, Y/N was able to retrieve a long brown envelope—a single paper inside. The document was signed by both the late king of Argenti and the current queen of Argenti—Beomgyu’s parents.

Another paragraph that read “he shall be named Choi Beomgyu, crown prince of Argenti.” This was placed under a big title reading “Certificate of Adoption.”

The statements “BORN March 13th, 2001. Adopted March 13th, 2001.” seemed to be mocking her.

“Oh my god,” Y/N gasped, shaking as she heard footsteps outside—indicating Beomgyu’s return.

She moved fast, shoving the document back in it’s envelope and hiding it behind her back as soon as Beomgyu opened the door once more and shot her a bright smile.

“The horse is ready.”

Y/N only smiled, hands tightening on the envelope behind her back.

“I’ll be right out.”

[anotherhumanpet]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG

TAGGED BY: No one; I'm yoinking this from another blog I ran TAGGING: @rodanish, @convenientkeystorage, @monster-or-man, @yggdrasilushxrt, @codenamesilas, @ask-human-ratchet

—  SPEED.

It can vary but right now I feel confident enough to say it takes me no more than a few days to make a reply, then maybe another 1 to 3 days for it to be posted out of the queue system (depending on how many posts are logged). Things happen though and moods change. I'm coming out of a year-ish hiatus and trying to get back into the swing of things while also juggling my other hobbies and general life. I could wind up becoming a little slower, but as long as everyone (including myself) can be patient with things then it should be fine.

—  REPLIES.

I'm not a novelist, I can't describe a scene or view to save my life, and I don't know how to write action without hating every second of it and-or myself because an old partner use to constantly tell me that my action writing was bad and the improvements I tried to make were never good enough. I haven't spoken to that person in ten years but their words still haunt me to the point I dread action scenes. So, since the ability to write scenes and things of substance is out of my roster, I tend to focus more on a character's thoughts and emotions. I'll take you through the entire thought process of my characters so you can (hopefully) understand why they're ticking the way they are.

But I'm willing to step out of my comfort zone too, both for the sake of improvement of my skills and to create a better story. I make no promises on my efforts being any good, but god damn it I will try.

—  STARTERS.

I prefer plotted starters to just random, run-of-the-mill, first-greet starters simply because a plot gives me a guideline of what's going on, what's to be expected, and what kind of playing room I've got. If there's too much from for interpretation and creativity I tend to get... stuck on what to do and wind up leaning on being more reactive with my responses than proactive.

Starters don't have to be heavily plotted for me to be able to operate though! Hell, @monster-or-man and I made a whole ass thread with the premise of "Achim and Dennis need to meet and fight because we want to make Silas sweat a little more than he already is." and have another one in the works between Jaden and Bruce that is essentially "Jaden wants to Talk™." So, in shorter words, I like having ideas to play with but they don't have to be elaborate schemes.

—  INBOX.

Don't be shy. Ever. I love answering asks - be they random or silly little questions, thought provoking questions, probes at the characters and their relationships, or even a magic anon.

—  SELECTIVITY.

To be honest, even though I have the "mutuals only" tag on this blog I'm still trying to figure out how I want to do things post-hiatus. I don't think I'll be returning to my other blogs anytime soon, which frees up creativity and time for this one, so I could perhaps drop the tag and be a little more open. But, at the same time, I don't want to dive in too deep and wind up getting overwhelmed and stressed.

I don't think I'm horribly selective though. I may have my personal credentials (which I won't go into) but generally I'm just looking for good characterization, good writing, and compatible rules.

—  WISHLIST.

Honestly, I just want to throw Dennis into anything and everything. Since coming back to the blog and reminiscing on some old threads, I'm realizing that the moments where I was having the most fun with this kid are the moments when he was deep in some mystery or adventure - or trouble! This kid was built to get involved in shit, good or bad, and that's what I want to do with him.

—  HONEST NOTE.

🎶Oh girls just wanna have fun🎵

No, seriously. At the end of the day, everything I roleplay is done for fun. I can be serious, I can tell a complex story with conflict and resolution, but ultimately I am here to do things I think are fun and I want to do them with other people because I want to have fun with them. If things keep turning up Super Serious and there's no room to wiggle around and fun then I'm out. I know everything Dennis winds up doing is bad for him and others in some way but if he didn't do anything then there'd be nothing to do. Now let me write in peace.

[curioussubjects]

So I did a season 15 rewatch and wanted to do a thought experiment

I know I often mention that the meta the corner of fandom I’m in has multiple points of entry, but I don’t think I ever just dumped plain text as a thought experiment before. Obviously, the parts of the text I decided to dump here are picked through a specific meta lens as well as being only a facet of the SPN text itself, since I only have the words and none of the complex visual language the show employs from set dressing to editing to acting -- and that’s a ton of info I’m omitting, I know, but generally speaking all text gets reduced to the writing even in the mytharc of the show itself, so it feels appropriate to use words on a page to do this. That said, this is just a start, and any analysis of SPN needs to take into account the full scope of the text beyond the words (with the one exception of a soundtrack pick in 15.10 because it’s too good to pass up).

Anyway, I started writing this as a simple “here look at this selection of very cursed quotations let’s cry” sort of self-indulgent thing, but then I thought, well, what if we could all take a pause from fandom stuff and finale anxiety in order to sit a little with one of the textual building block? What if we could even put a pin, for just a second, to the greater nuances and more involved abstraction about the text and think in bare bone terms? 

Of course, I have a reading here, but through the quotations I picked notice the repetition of themes, of words themselves. What is there? What is it telling us? Regardless of our personal wants and wishlists, whatever our feelings about what is and what should or shouldn’t be. And if we pluck these words and put them back in their context, what is the story trying to tell us? On its face, without any editorializing about what we think could happen maybe because we’ve all been burned by tv shows before. Or even do we really think the text seems so clumsy and lost and incompetent as some seem to think it is? 

Again, this collection is just on facet of the text. Think of it as a spring board, rock number 1. 

15.01

We were just rats in a maze. Sure, we could go left. Sure, we could go right. But we were still in the damn maze. Just makes you think, if all of it... you know, everything that we've done... What did it even mean?

It meant a lot. We still saved people.

When we win this, God's gone. Hm. There's no one to screw with us. There's no more maze. It's just us. And we're free.

We got work to do.

15.02

Chuck is all-knowing. He knew the truth, he... he just kept it to himself.

Even if we didn't know that all of the challenges that we face were born of Chuck's machinations, how would we describe it all? We'd call it "life". Because that's precisely what life is. It's an obstacle course, and maybe Chuck designed the obstacles, but we ran our own race. We made our own moves.

I'll tell you what we do know. Nothing about our lives is real. Everything that we've lost, everything that we are is because of Chuck.

You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.

I'm done, Chuck. I've changed. I've adapted. I've... I've become the better me. And you? You are still the same... petulant, narcissistic. So... I'm leaving you here.

15.03

No, we’re gonna end this, Sam. Like you said. We’re gonna be free.

And I'm here, and you're here, and everything we need to end this right is in our hands.

But will you let the world die, let your brother die, just so I can live?

I've tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don't want to hear it.  

Jack's dead. Chuck's gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it's time for me to move on.

15.04

Wow. So you’re still, um… [...]  Uh, obsessed with my work.

You mean my work.

So instead of reading your stories, I kept writing my own. [...]  Where the guys didn’t have to hunt monsters all the time. They just sit around and do laundry and talk, you know? I mean, that’s what people like the most, anyway.

… this is just an ending.

I can do anything. I’m a writer.

We are finally free to… move on, you know?

I don’t know. Uh… I-I don’t know if I can move on. You know, I-I-I… I can’t forget about any of them. Dean, I still think about Jessica. I… I can’t just let that go.

15.06

Yeah. If I stay, nothing changes. It's time for me to get back in the game.

15.07

What would I do without you? Hmm? What would I do without my best friend?!

Angela was raptured, and I was left behind.

but... but best friends don't just up and leave without saying goodbye.

Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

Then you fix it. You don't walk away. You fight for it.

15.08

No one hands you anything, darlin'. I took it.

Then one day, you die, you go to hell, they make you queen, and you can't make it right. So fix it!

Doing what we do, we've had to get used to losing people. Probably too used to it. With Adam, we said goodbye because we thought we had to. We were wrong.

Since when do we get what we deserve?

15.09

You just refused to hear it.

Maybe if you didn't just up and leave us.

I left, but you didn't stop me.

No, the Dean I know... the Dean who raised me -- he'd never give up, no matter how bad things got.

Well, he does. He will. This is the truth, Sam. This is what comes next. 

I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go.

Okay, Cas, I need to say something.

You don't have to say it. I heard your prayer.

When we beat you, I will make it better!

But there's still so much about the fabric of the universe that you don't know... that you can't know. 'Cause you're only humans. But I'm God.

I wish you'd stay.

I wish I could. After what happened, I don't know what's real anymore.

I know that was real.

If we can't kill him or trap him...

... Well, then we find another way.

15.10

You know, go out young and pretty. But now I've got a great wife, great kids. I guess...sometimes things work out.

Yeah, sometimes. Good, man. You deserve it.

~Let's be outrageous  /  Let's misbehave~  

You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be.

15.11

Beach read? Lady, I’m Tolstoy.

God created the world, but you know who created us gods? You did. You humans. Sort of.

How dare you not recognize his beneficence?

Our bad. Not his

I learned from my brother.

What is with you and these losers? They’re nothing! They don’t matter.

They matter to us.

Heroes. Like the old days. And, uh, she gave me a message. She said, “Don’t play his game. Make him play yours.”

Every day I wanted to come home, but… I couldn’t.

Billie kept him hidden in the Empty until Chuck went off world.

15.12

In the beginning, it was just me and sis. And it was fine. But I wasn’t satisfied. So I made more. I created the world.

So, I… I kept creating. I made… other worlds.

Those other toys, they don’t… they don’t… spark joy. But Sam and Dean… the real Sam and Dean… they do. They challenge me… they disappoint me… they surprise me. 

They’re… the ones.

You know, Kelly just had faith that Jack would be good for the world, and I felt it, too. I knew it. And then, when everything went wrong, and God took him from us… I was lost in a way I’ve never been before. Because I knew the story wasn’t over. I knew Jack wasn’t done. And I was right.

What sounds good to me is Jack fulfilling his destiny.

I thought I could leave her behind, but… she haunts me.

Her world looked peaceful. This place is… cold. I don’t understand it. I don’t know how to move through it. So, I just find empty spaces, and I hide. This world doesn’t want me. And I’m done with it.

We can fix this. You can help us. Please? Please.

Feels good. Disobeying cosmic entities, doing the, uh… dumb, right thing? Feels like we’re back.

I don’t belong in your world. You do. Go.

When I was a reaper, I believed in the rules. But then you killed me. And when I became Death, I inherited Death’s knowledge… and Death’s library. And in Death’s library, everyone has a book. Even God.

After God made the world, he couldn’t stop. He wanted more. But he needed to create a perfect harmony… a Swiss watch, so this world could keep tick, tick, ticking in his absence. He had no choice but to build himself into the framework. It’s his only weakness.

You and your brother have work to do. This is your destiny. You are the messengers of God’s destruction. 

15.13

Then there's no God, there's no Darkness. Nothing out of balance. World saved.

Okay, yeah, but then who takes over? Uh, Jack?

Probably not.

I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me.

So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

A place... a thing... Whatever you want to call it, it's powerful.

Why do they call this place the Empty? This place is full. It's full of sorrow and despair playing over and over again, of angels and demons dreaming about their regrets. Forever.

Funny thing about her plan, though... she didn't say anything about needing you.

Maybe it's a key. It's a passage in Enochian. It says, um, loosely translated, "In order to be in the Occultum, the Occultum must be in you."

This is the Garden. Man's beginning.

His prize creations, until he banished them and all of mankind from the perfection of the Garden. And he hid it away.

Who are you, really? Who are you meant to be?

That's the crossroads of divinity and humanity.

Please. Just please forgive me.

[take-ya-to-the-ghey-bar]

Seeing as I haven’t kicked into writing gear just yet, and i’ve had this in mind for a little while now-- i’m gonna do up this little wishlist post lol, of random things that i’d eventually like to write--

Added note, these are in order of remembrance— not necessarily in order of “want to do”:

Sexy times in front of a mirror (size not totally important, but like— full body tho 👀✨)

Someone fucking Micchan against a window (in a situation where things most likely wouldn’t be seen— so, more just for the sake of a view lol)

And for a touch of related AU shenanigans:

A situation that results in a dynamic much like what’s pictured here, for the merman au--

Some sorta AU based at least partly around the Royal Scandal series--

Perhaps, an AU/verse related to DMMd--

[sasorikigai]

PSA; 

1. Regarding the light of things that happened. I will be much slower with asks, replies, IMs and etc. because I am done wasting my time, effort, dedication, passion, whatever you want to call it to so-called mutuals who only victimize and bring negativity and bullying, which I have experienced aplenty in my personal and on Tumblr. I am not going to sit here and take it, because thoughts of suicide and severe depression is real. People don’t even attempt or make an effort to think about it on all sides, and it’s all damaging and toxic. I’ve been feeling it for the past month or so, and this pandemic and what’s been going on in the world, especially in the States doesn’t really help, either. 

No one deserves to go through this and I don't understand why everything needs to be aired out on Tumblr to everyone to see, instead of a closed discussion, despite so many people being against callouts. This is immature mob mentality at its zenith, and I do not appreciate it one bit. I do wish, despite this being obviously irreversible, that people weren't so quick to judgement without listening to both sides and have a civil discussion. And even if the person does not want to have a discussion, why not just move on. inciting bulling, whether intentional or not, should never be tolerated. Just know that I will never participate in such cruel and vicious act and bring agony and torment to other people. 

But I am never, ever going to quit writing, however, I don’t want to have 1284392 threads go down the drain, along with all the genuine interest, emotional investment, chemistry and development to simply sit in the abysmal void ever again. So please, tell me if you are no longer interested in interacting with me, so I do not waste more of my energy instead of blocking me AFTER I spend considerable amount of time replying to threads. 

2. Despite it all, if you’d still like to interact with my muses (Hanzo, Kuai and Fujin), I have many, many developed verses for the first two. Fujin, the Wind God, is a recent addition of mine, so I am working on him more to fleshing him out, and even giving him non-MK verse (modern and beyond) if enough people are interested. 

I do not have many wishlists per say, for I’d like to explore different kinds of relationships, specifically platonic, familial, romantic/sexual, friends to lovers, slow burn, etc. Those of you who are not in MK fandom; I can flesh out their story for you or they could be easily searched on Google. But most likely, I can even work their MK history and characteristics in your setting, and as we plot and discuss ooc, things will definitely flesh out more. Hanzo and Kuai are human warriors who had literally gone through hell and back to rebuild and reform their respective clans, and Hanzo went through the most significant character development when it comes to pre-MKX and during MK11. Fujin, obviously, is an immortal demigod, but he is a genial, kind and empathetic good boi (TM) who can pretty much work with any muses. 

Hanzo Hasashi / Scorpion (全蠍人)- The Shirai Ryu Grandmaster, Pyromancer, Toasty (TM), My grumpy fire son (non-MK verses available on his page). 

Kuai Liang / Sub-Zero (絶対零度) - The Lin Kuei Grandmaster, Cryomancer, Grandmaster Blueberry Ice (TM), My pure and naive ice son (non-MK verses available on his page). 

Fujin / Shinjiro Ishikawa (my HC. real name unknown) (風神) - Wind God, Protector of the Earthrealm, Raiden Lite (TM), My compassionate and empathetic wind son (non-MK verses in the works, about to be added with my theme revamp).

3. I have IM and Discord for any questions, concerns or just general ooc connections. My Discord is open to mutuals only, and it’s hanzilla#5863. 

4. I do sincerely apologize if this comes across as crude and blunt. I have been not only suffering with sleeplessness/insomnia, but severe depression and just lack of enthusiasm and drive to do anything much, but trying to calm my mind and not kill myself. 

Please, let me know - by liking or commenting - that if you’d still like to interact with me, so I can act accordingly and move on from this as soon as I can. Thank you for reading this! I appreciate it very much <3 

Rules || Dossier || Promo || Interest Tracker

[fcarher]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: slug / ellie     Age: 19       Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Yunaeisha Adynora, other demons from my lore Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Yunaeisha Current Fandom(s): None really  Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  Naruto, PKMN, Magi, Gangsta, OPM, MHA, Hazbin Hotel & currently working on an ATLA verse My language(s): german, polish, italian, english   Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: highschool, modern & fantasy/medieval

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting: the best way is just to straight up approach me. most often than not, just liking a post is not enough because it’s too vague ?? like if i post an idea & you like that, i’ll still be hesitant when it comes to roleplaying or approaching you because, while i appreciate such gestures, i’m just too anxious. therefore, plopping into my IMs without a properly fleshed out idea is also fine ! it, at least, gives me the hint that you’re actively seeking interaction. however, just saying “i want to roleplay & plot !” won’t cut it; at least, have something in mind, please !

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  basic ideas & pouring their heart into plotting! i don’t mind waiting, at all, so if you’re busy, don’t worry about keeping me waiting; i completely understand since i’m also often busy with work or university. but !! please don’t only come to me with the statement: “i want to plot!” it’s not gonna cut it & it’s not gonna help with a proper interaction, at all. if i approach someone, most often than not, i have SOME sort of idea in mind. but yeah, being passionate is the most important thing!

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  most often than not, the conversation will die down because i will loose motivation; i don’t like it because i’ll feel like a bother & i shouldn’t feel that way when it comes to a hobby! therefore, one-sided plotting is one of my deal breakers; i usually end the conversation & there will be little to no interaction happening. like i said; i don’t mind waiting, i just hate that feeling of coming on TOO strong when my plotting partner delivers no input. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  often than not, i start off with rather simple question like; are you interested in a certain verse ? do you already have something in mind ? if not, i will go through their about page & ask them things about their character & how that could possibly bring our characters to interact. sometimes, the about pages of a muse cannot give you every single bit of information; muses grow & change with each thread, therefore, it’s often better to just ask the people about their characters ! & from then on, it often just comes naturally. 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if the thread is not THAT important or vital for our character’s relationship; i don’t mind & won’t need to know if the thread is dropped. sometimes, if it’s a heavily plotted thread & i’ve anticipated the interaction a lot; i’d appreciate a quick heads-up from my partner that they’re not feeling that certain thread any longer; i don’t mind that !! - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?: they don’t need to tell me; SOMETIMES, it’s just a nice gesture but most of the time, i don’t care, we can always start another thread !!

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  many things can lead to me dropping a thread; just losing motivation, having no muse for a certain genre or simply having the feeling that my partner is not liking it, any longer (ex. extreme lack of trying to match the reply length ). my health & my schedule can also, sadly, affect my motivation, so, more often than not, i tend to drop shorter threads & keep longer ones.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  i get anxious really fast if people stop replying for a very long time, out of the blue. it has happened to me once before with a good friend with whom i have no contact with any longer due to miscommunication & them not trying to communicate the issue with me; therefore, yes, it is very important. i wanna know if something is bothering you; i wanna know if you like something very much; i wanna know what’s up ! we’re humans & we’re adults; we can talk about this.  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  yes ! as long as it is constructive criticism & not straight-up bashing my characters or lore; i’m all for it. i don’t mind hearing negative things; in fact, i appreciate the honesty & it gives me room to work on myself & my writing ! - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  building relationships that LAST & exploring my muses through & through; it is amazing how much yuna has grown through interactions with others; how different she has become from the yuna i once started out with; it’s almost been a year now & it’s just amazing. however, i’m not stopping anytime soon; THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO EXPLORE !! the ultimate goal is for me to just look at my blog & be completely proud of what i have accomplished & written; i want fleshed out relationships & threads; deep stuff !!

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  yuna talking with someone about her struggles; mentally & physically. being open about her abusive father & how it has traumatized her & painted men in the worst picture one could imagine. HOWEVER; a hard thing because i don’t want these things to be pre-est or something; i want a thread where there is struggling, screams, conflict ! it is rather hard to find someone, though, who is willing & fitting to go onto that long journey with me & yuna. also, i’d love to write about darker stuff; i love fluff, though, sometimes i sure want a bit of that, too. 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  the only things i won’t rp or explore are stated in my rules; ex. pedophilia, rape & really descriptive animal abuse. killing, torture, gore as well as cheating, heartbreak or toxic relationships are okay, while i do prefer to have a deeper bond with someone while exploring the latter & be communicating the whole time; i think these are really REAL topics & that’s why i wouldn’t mind exploring them because it does happen, more than one would like them to happen. however, if i see you, the mun, glorifying or romanticizing these; just no. 

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: i like everything with some sort of substance; i love short ones as much as long ones, nevertheless, you have to give me something to work with. yuna would ignore anyone not of any interest or value to her; therefore, if your muse just asks her random questions, the interaction will go nowhere. if you’re unsure; just ask !!

What type of characters catch your interest the most?: i love characters with uniqueness to them; it can be a certain interest, certain appearance or their species can be totally unique to them; i’ll love it ! i do have a thing for villains, though; always had, even when i was young 8^) so, dark, stubborn & “evil” characters catch my interest far more than a really nice muse who just is all smiles all day. i love a muse that can kick mine & yuna’s ass, basically. someone with strong morals or who is just really set on their beliefs can also offer conflict which i ADORE !! i need it; i live for it !!

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  really kind & unbothered muses who are self-sacrificing, perfect & loved by everyone for no reason ?? idk, i just think it’s bad writing. everyone has flaws; no one is perfect ! 

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  i am a very open person who will talk with you about anything & is keen on exploring our character’s relationship at all times & through all means; i often send my rp partners prompts in form of my yuna just being her dumb-self or through memes ! i will constantly think about our characters & will try to have them interact as much as possible. i am, most of the time, very active & respond to the threads fairly quickly ! if i am totally invested; you’ll get everything you want; a moodboard, an edit, a drawing, etc. i literally pour my heart & soul into every bond my muse has; i live for them. oh !! i also love asking people question about their characters; i just love learning new things about them !! 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: i’m very slow out of character; i don’t approach muns a lot because i’m scared to be a bother, working on it ! i often ramble a lot & my writing can become a bit convoluted & hard to understand, i apologize ! i tend to not message people on discord as often as i’d like to; mostly because i’m really socially awkward or just don’t think that what i want to show to them is THAT important. i’m not as straight-forward as i wish myself to be; however, even with all that; i still have a lot of fun & am acknowledging & actively working on my weak aspects ! 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  often, it is because i want to develop the relationship or yuna’s character; she’s a very sexual being who hardly connects to someone emotionally; therefore, writing sex & exploring the vulnerability behind it can be really beautiful ! though, fun is also involved !  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  non-consensual stuff is a no-go ! also, certain kinks that make me uncomfortable are also off the table; ex. anything involving bodily fluids other than spit. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  i love the conflicts the most; clashing ideals or just two stubborn muses arguing for the heck of it is really fun & can develop the relationship beautifully ! yuna is a person who likes someone that can be properly fought with, verbally here. but of course, i also adore the very soft moments!! i love meaningless fluff; it warms my heart.  - What is your smut tag?: SINFUL.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: nothing TOO drastic; a friendship, a rivalry is a-okay ! however, i’m very hesitant when it comes to having pre-est. romantic relationships; though, you can quickly change my mind if you pour your soul into the plotting; then i’m fine with it ! everything that needs time when writing also needs time when plotting; don’t just straight up jump into something if you’re not able to give it your all.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  i think yuna is a person with whom it is easy to form relationships with; it takes a bit of time but due to her rather drastic ideals & opinions; anything can be founded within seconds. she doesn’t hold back when it comes to her honesty & conflicts will arise. also, for all muses with demonic or deity backgrounds; being a daughter of the literal queen of hell, though, also harboring fragments of a god’s soul makes her unique in the supernatural world which can spark interest with your character or even they can develop an ill-will towards her ? i think it’s really interesting exploring what makes one work & go on & yuna has the philosophical potential to tickle that out of your muse; she question EVERYTHING. now for certain plots; one-sided love or even friendships are always really interesting, especially when she is the one having such feelings. other than that; she has enormous & dangerous powers; so if you’re into character or world-building; can offer that as well !

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:  humans; she doesn’t approach humans who are just kind & have nothing to offer for her, the least she’d do is have sex with them or kill them to harvest their life energy. i’m sorry but she really does hate all of humanity & to change that opinion ? man, you must be the most stubborn person ever.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  characters who are of supernatural or demonic nature; she’ll be very interested & even nosy to a point. also, very attractive characters who are not afraid to speak their mind; she’s really superficial most of the time & will flirt with anything that she deems good-looking. muses who have ideals that contrast hers or that are similar to her but also, generally, people who are open-minded. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  sex, parties, plants & flowers, astronomy, writing, demons & hell, the underground scene, killing, knives & playing the piano - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the questions that bother her the most are; why did her mother had to die ? why would nobody help her while she was being abused by her father ? why was she kept alive by her sisters ? is there love out there for someone like her ? what do these strange visions mean that occur almost every night ? she has a lot of things she wants to experience & wishes to have a normal life once she has killed her other mother, lilith, which is her ultimate goal, at the moment.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  their appearance; the scent of their blood & if it differs from humans; how they react towards her & what they do in front of her.  - What do they value in a person?:    strong opinions, loyalty, good looks, humor, strength (not limited to physical strength) - What themes do they like talking about?:  herself or the world & the state of it; she likes being philosophical with some, can often be somewhat self-centered; THOUGH; it is almost always for her to see how they would react to that. 

- Which themes bore them?:  love & drama; she does not care a lot for gossip or anything relating to it; the topic of love, no matter in which sense, is always brushed off because she just doesn’t find any appeal in it. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  Being the reason her own mother committed suicide; Her father & sister abusing her all her life, spouting lies & beating her until she could stand no more while her other sisters would watch & do nothing, even though, they were supposed to support each other; laewa, one of her sisters, fancying the idea of killing yuna for the greater good; two of her best friends turning on her when they find out she’s not human & then being killed right in front of her eyes; her one & only boyfriend protecting her from a demon hunter & being killed in the process - What could possibly trigger them?:  loud sudden noises; making fun of her attachment to her late ex-boyfriend, being awfully nice to her, the sight of any dog or wolf, tender touches (esp. her back being touched), being alone with her thoughts for far too long  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  people who make fun of her & her powers; calling her a monster; not understanding her pain when she opens up; purposefully touching her back or any other scarred skin, being nosy  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  you are a demon hunter that does not show remorse when killing demons with a consciousness, trying to kill her, killing one of her comrades 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Keela Adynora, Myra Adynora (Father, Sister), the other D.O.L.s, EYES’ superiors (the organization she works for), Humans, Lilith - Is there someone /-thing they love?:  Evelin Adynora (Her biological mother)

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: If you’re not quite human or are a demon, you could literally stand next to her & be silent; she’ll become curious on her own. other than that; be interesting or flirt with her; just do something that does not involve small talk; she hates that.  - Where are they usually to find?:  strip club (her workplace), bars, clubs, clearings within a forest, nice areas that are full of trees & plants; a roof-top

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Yuna is basically pandora’s box personified; she may seem nice & attractive from the outside but within her are sleeping demons that only wait to be awakened. & withal, she is still a cutie who will become your number one supporter & protector if you manage to build a proper relationship with. it’s hard to get through that shell & what awaits is NOT that pretty but with years upon years of abuse, neglect & shit being thrown her way; it’s not easy being a carefree immortal. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @skyvar , i srsly love these so much, snow !! thank you for tagging me <3 i had so much fun 8′)  Tagging:  @thevvolf ; @nezumi-vc-103221 ; @empiia ; @dvojakyvlk ; @childrenxfthemoon ; @hensetsu​​ ; @goldempire​​ ; @animatedatrophy​ ; @talonness​ ; @shikkotsunin​ ; @wcrthlessanimal​ & anyone else !! 

[lcnguor]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26       Contact: IM, discord, smoke signal, whatever.

Character(s) I rp: Nora, Spike. Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nora, most likely Current Fandom(s): Fandomless Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  pretty much everything I find around and hop on. My language(s): spanish, english.  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: modern without supernatural, I do have some fantasy set up but eh. 

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  ask, IM, discord, singing telegram, smoke signals, messeger pidgeos -- whatever dude. I will most likely talk and ramble a lot, I do like plotting and I squeeze my brains out to think in ways to rp with ppl. and I really suck at approaching others. really...

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  Ideas and somewhat more enthusiasm than me. I tend to shy away or feel very much awkward right off the bat if the person approaches me with not much to say or give. And honestly, some people really intimidate me because I am too hard on myself, so giving a bit of a pat on the back makes me relax more. I deal with a lot of anxiety and I know people run away the second I show it. 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  Mostly when I am doing the talk or coming with ideas or looking generally more interested. It takes effort for me to get on things and actually do stuff but if it’s not the other way around I end up thinking they got bored of me. I am one hell of insecure person. As for what I do, if after many tries of trying to reach another person and end up feeling rejected or ignored, then ... I stop. What’s the point of insisting if the other person would just be awkward or not spare you a word?

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  well, I usually ask first what the other thinks or have in mind, if nothing, I either suggest or start brainstorming with the other person. I know some who have dealt with me at first I seem like a dettached person but not having ideas really makes me feel like I have not much right to talk. I want to give yet without impossing or letting it twist my arm. I know for a fact nora’s lore really doesn’t help shit for most things. 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if the thread was meaningful and we were really into it , then I would ask but as for the most, I don’t really bother with it. Sometimes people just lose muse, and even if I was enjoying it, I don’t have the right  to force someone or ask why they stopped. thread dropping is normal, i guess.  - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  whatever they want. telling me or not is up to them, I don’t really mind. RP is not something SUPER serious like it should be just perfect. I try to convice myself of this a lot.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  either because it was old as fuck, I couldn’t find muse or because it was lost in the void of tumblr’s amazing tracking system. - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  if I do not have some idea of who am i rping with and what they have in mind, then it’s nearly impossible. being purely IC is really uncomfortable and could lead to a lot of misundertandings. - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  yeah. mostly yeah -- I mean, I will feel bad, I do have feelings, but I will take it with water. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES ( but I will feel bad anyways ) / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  connect with others, ramble a lot about characters, have fun. I’ve been rping since i was 12 ( back then it was not big deal your age apparently ) and having to connect with other people by making these plots and stories and just having a fun time is something that brings me joy. There’s so much that can be done. And exploring my muses with other muses influences is really helpful to fill the holes left due indecisiveness.

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  I wish people joined my lore more. Having muses that could be in the same story department as Nora in particular, would be hella and inspire me more. There is so much I have. Explore nora’s power is also something I want but it’s hard -- it’s very invasive and not many would really like it, feeling it’s meta. For now, I don’t really have other muses and Spike has her little crew outside tumblr.

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  umm, it’s hard to think in something in particular. But mostly stuff that collides with nora’s story/character. but there is a lot I am willing to explore.

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: casual starters are my fab. It’s easier to figure out how  to go or stop and think. plotted ones also work. as for what I dislike or cannot work with, things that force my muse to not act how they would? not giving me something solid is hard to handle. 

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  I really like out of the norm muses, something that you see and say /oh , look at that/. Aesthetically, story wise or personality wise, something that goes out the usual troup most would use. I do have a guilty pleasure for opposite to my muse characters --- something that would really show the contrast with one another.

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  Very basic ones? or those who try TOO hard to be special. A character that doesn’t fit in the context they are in, esp. in fandoms. HEAVILY divergent characters that just basically turn them into OCs. I know I sound like a bitch but I am the type who respect canon and the actual author behind the character too much. Also those that I don’t know much about? as in, the fandom never managed to catch my interest or smth in that line.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I know where is the line between fiction and reality. And that what your character does it does not reflect as the person you actually are. I am pretty laid back and I understand people’s views and reasoning. idk. I draw a lot if I am super invested ?

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I am super sporadic and can go from being super active to flat out dead for weeks. my mood swings a lot with the amount of attention I get, as horrible as it sounds. I am very anxious as a person for reasons ( not IRL mostly, just bad experience from previous partners ). I promise a lot but do little? honestly I will just bad mouth myself if I keep writing this.

Do you rp smut?:  YES ( tho mostly on discord ) / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  both? - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  ehhhh, idk -- i don’t do as much to know what I don’t like here.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO / RELATIVE. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  the very nature of human relations. I am talking about Nora big time here -- there is a lot to explore in her relations and how she reacts and acts towards someone is very very contextual. How much she fakes, how much she is sincere, how much she struggles or how relaxed can be. force her to show her real self, which is very hazy even for her as a task. Be very poetic deep and also very shallow. I particulary see her as a character that REALLY depends on her relation with the other muse -- but generally speaking for any of my muses: I love to explore them as a pair and as individuals. - What is your smut tag?: the unfamily friendly. ( new tag (?))

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: Anything? I am open to anything honestly. As long as it makes sense.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  Anyone who is denying their feelings, are peculiar as an individual or anyone who needs an insight of themselves and the world around them. Nora is a mentor type of character, she is here to be a support and help others explore themselves and learn. Also if you are a minor, she will most likely try to get close to help -- one must protect the good sad kids.

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:  Stubborn, very fixated with things. Who would not open themselves to other perspective without thinking someone is trying to change them. Also she would struggle a heck lot with psychopaths and sociopaths, or anyone that “doesn’t have a face” for her. - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Curious people, struggling ones, kids in general -- people that are willing to listen to her opinions and try to improve in a positive way. Also those who are quirky in a way. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  rabbits, literature, interesting people, the unknown, learning, relationships of all natures.  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  Live long without letting her particularity ruin her -- for her kind nobody makes it past the 50s and she wants that , to conquer her ability and prove that even with something like she is ( they are ), it’s posible to live and be happy. have a family of her own, yeah she is that cheesy. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  Their actions and the emotions that they are carrying on their back.  - What do they value in a person?:    sincerity, willingness, enthusiasm. - What themes do they like talking about?:  a lot of phylosophic stuff, deep topics -- as well to casual things of life. about people and society. - Which themes bore them?:  excuses and avoidance -- people who are willing to drop everything and give up.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the attempt of suicide of her mother. and the successfull suicide of many of her peers. - What could possibly trigger them?:  any sort of threat or violence towards someone who does not asked for it. esp. her peers and family. - What could set them off, enrage them?:  Immoral ones. Those who are willing to stomp on others just to success in their goal. - What could lead to an instant kill?:  is not killing, but touch a hair of her family and you are done. same for her friends and protegees.

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  gorgers, suicide, her tired face. - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her family and dear ones --- to a fault. rabbits or anything related to it.

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  any way is okay as long as is not threatening. - Where are they usually to find?:  during the night, in the streets -- during the day is either her workplace or her house. maybe a park near her apartment/location if she is feeling stuffy.

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  she is not a good person , she is willing to manipulate people and is constantly trying to impose her morals. but she is also very sensitive even if she doesn’t show it --- Nora does look tired for a reason , and one of them is because she cries a lot . 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @skyvar​ Tagging:  @batoushoujo​ , @obtainedloss​ , @lorddiiavolo​ , @evanesense​ , @sunpierce​ , @necrotrigae​ , @maljefe​ , @ethaeria​ , @calpio​ , @veiliisms​

[aenslem]

Ask game for Madam Spellman! 😁

Hey anon, thanks for the ask 😊

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: probably the moment lilith walked down the stairs and zelda looked at her 😁

My thoughts: i have too many thoughts about them, but honestly who cares? Even i stopped caring about it at all, the last season was not what i expected, and i am not talking about the ship here, but s2 made them high priestess and queen and all was good and then suddenly we are back on s1 level of character development for some. Or just idk they dont need to be so cruel to some characters but they are, while also praising other characters dumb decisions... whatever, i think the ship is great, at least in my dreams, i am not sure it would work on screen tho, since we have no interactions between characters, but that ep6 or whatever episode it was where lilith comes for help and zelda just says no was like... idk, but, yes she is lilith and bad guy and all, but she was the one helping you in the first place, you would not be where you are without her at all??? And also forgetting lilith has powers and also forgetting that lilith actually was badass agains satan in p2 and then suddenly runs away without fighting, i know there are a lot of issues here but honestly, in p2 it was all a little different and suddenly none of it is in p3...🤦‍♀️ to make madam spellman work they need actually work on their relationship in the show but it seems like this show does not even care about characters on their own and what they have been through, so i dont even want them to make ms in the show. 🤷‍♀️

What makes me happy about them: miranda and michelle 😂 seriously nothing this show puts them through makes me happy. Whatever makes me happy about them is always what cast is doing, especially how supportive they are.

What makes me sad about them: everything i wrote above and more but too much negative feelings to write it all atm

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: honestly have not read much, and whatever i read is not enough to say anything.

Things I look for in fanfic: i don't?? I honestly like ms in my head only 🤷‍♀️ in the beginning when i tried to read i was mostly searching for aus, because whatever could be done in the caos world always was about more suffering for them or so ooc i could not read.

My wishlist: can they finish with p4 and let them just live and not suffer?

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: lilith should end up being the queen, but not as in sabrina just does not want it so she gives lilith the throne, i want her to get it herself and be the queen, that is the perfect ending for me with lilith, i dont want her to be with anyone even zelda in the show, she has been through enough and needs some time to be herself and love herself for awhile. As for zelda, i just hope mambo marie is not some villain pretending to be good or whatever and zelda will not end up suffering more, so if she is good to her and cares for zelda then let her be with mambo marie. I will be ok with it. I know i made cracks on that topic and all, but i feel like no one actually git the point what irritated me with zarie in general.

My happily ever after for them: in the show? Them being queen and high priestess of whatever new church they will have and not be in relationship, just have some time on their own, and then slowly working with each other and developing feelings, i dont really want them to have just some passion and angry sex or whatever, even though that is my thing most of the time lmao i want them more as two women supporting each other and understanding each other, and respecting each other and only after that starting to actually care about each other in more ways 😊 but hey, this show sucks and we will never have anything good there and probably lilith will die in the end just for the sake of drama and let's be honest brina will never be a good candidate for a queen while lilith lives 🙄🤦‍♀️

Anyway dont mind typos im on mobile 🤷‍♀️😁

[fasterthanmydemons]

I feel so intrigued by your Nothing Left's Pietro! I've been reading your post about how he would act in a Dead!Wanda AU and I LOVE Wanda but I would like to see this very angry, darker version of this ray of sunshine who likes to run fast and make jokes. That open starter really caught my attention but 1- I really CAN'T write, 2- I wouldn't know which character I should rp as xD I love angst, it helps me cope with angst irl. When you can, please write some headcanons about NothingLeft!Pietro

(This anon is referring to an open starter I posted entitled “Nothing Left,” in which Wanda died in Sokovia instead of Pietro, and Pietro is reacting to her death with volatile anger. You can read it here if you like.)

Thank you for reading my starter and I’m so glad you liked it! And before I jump into headcanons, I just want to say that if you ever feel you want to start an rp blog, go for it! You don’t have to be perfect at everything or write like an award-winning novelist to still write good stories and have a great time. And as far as picking a muse, generally I don’t choose a character as a muse unless they won’t leave me alone for weeks. Haha, what I mean by that is I find myself thinking about them a lot, wondering “what if,” feeling maybe they deserved better, and having ideas on what interesting plots and AUs I would love to explore with them. If you have enough ideas on your own to get started, that’s a great place to start. With canon characters anyway. Obviously if you want to make an OC, you have to build everything yourself from the ground up or mesh them into a fandom/world. But for canons, you can turn your ideas in to open starters, your interests in “what ifs” and AUs into an rp wishlist, your random plot ideas into little drabs or one-shot stories... and just post things like that with tags for your character and fandom, and that’ll get you started. Someone will wander onto your blog and be like hey, I had that same idea. Or hey, I found this really interesting, let’s do it. You never know until you give it a try. =)

I will also say that, fittingly, the gif I used for Pietro’s reaction in the starter, namely this one:

...is from the movie Savages (I really enjoyed it, but it’s really heavy on sex and graphic violence, so take care if you watch it and are bothered by those things), as ATJ’s character is freaking out and getting very angry about the fact that the woman he loves has been kidnapped. His friend is trying to reassure him that everything will be okay, but he’s freaking out nonetheless. Ironically, I didn’t know what was going on in the scene before I used the gif, so I didn’t know how appropriate it was, haha. 

Okay now on to Pietro. XD In this starter, Wanda has died in the Battle of Sokovia instead of him. I haven’t specified how, just to kind of leave it open because I don’t know which muses might respond to it, so it’s left to the imagination whether or not he saw her die or how she might have met her end. Nevertheless, the starter assumes that Pietro goes to America with the Avengers as Wanda did in canon, but he’s not coping so well with Wanda’s death, as one might imagine would be a very realistic thing to happen. Unlike the other starter I did with this theme, “Carrying On," that depicts a heartbroken and suicidal Pietro, this starter deals with an enraged, volatile, erratic Pietro who meets concern and reassurance with harsh, colorful language and explosive moods. Both starters deal with parallel paths I could see Pietro taking in this situation as far as how his grief manifests from a psychological and personality point of view as well as how he is choosing to manage it.

So for “Nothing Left”!Pietro, there are two reasons why he’s boiling over with anger instead of breaking down with sadness like in the other starter. 1) Anger and defensiveness are easier for him to express than vulnerable emotions like sadness and fear. He was only ever comfortable showing his vulnerable side to Wanda. And 2) he has a lot of guilt over Wanda’s death because he feels like if he had protected her well enough, she’d still be here, and he’s turning that guilt into anger. He feel like her death was his fault. Just like the first reason, anger directed at others is a lot easier for him to express than anger toward himself. So, in short, this version of Pietro is choosing to funnel all his pain, guilt, and grief into being angry and pushing others away rather than processing what he feels, reaching out for help, or being vulnerable in front of anyone which is frightening for him.

This version of Pietro will self-destruct if left to his own devices. He will probably eat and drink himself to death with sodas and junk food and fat and caffeine and all that, and he will likely pick a fight with anyone who looks at him cross-ways. Well, any men who do. He’s not given to fighting women who aren’t actually trying to kill him. With women, he’ll probably curse them out, tell them to leave him alone, tell them they don’t understand, etc. With men, he would do the same and if they don’t, they’re getting punched in the face. He would be looking to fight not only to sate the rage inside him, but also to burn off energy, because feeling that angry for a very long time is not sustainable mentally. So he’d rage until he was tired enough to sleep, then wake up and do it all over again.

It is going to either take a female muse he’s not willing to come to blows with getting him to somehow talk about his feelings and show some vulnerability to start getting to the root of his anger... or... a male muses willing to fight with him to the point of exhaustion (probably more than once) until he gets to the point of actually listening to what they have to say. Until one of those things happens, he’s going to persist with his destructive behavior until he ends up with health issues from eating total crap, heh, or he suffers serious injuries for picking a fight with the wrong person.

I think for this version of Pietro to begin to work through his grief in any kind of a constructive way, he would have to be turned into “Carrying On” Pietro, heh. I mean the brokenhearted part, not the suicidal part, although... that might be unavoidable and will have to be dealt with as well. But what I mean is, no one is gong to get through to him and he is never going to start facing his pain and guilt over Wanda dying until someone can help him shed the defensive anger and get him to stop avoiding his feelings. Once he trusts someone to the point of letting them in enough to show any vulnerability, then the sadness and regret and longing and all that will hit him like a ton of bricks. He won’t want to stay here in this world without Wanda, so he’ll need someone who is willing to put in the time and effort to ensure that he gets over the extreme hump of negative emotions and seemingly bottomless grief that he will experience to bring him to a point of no longer wanting to do anything drastic.

So I guess this version of him is practicing a lot of avoidance and releasing all the tension and restrained grief as rage. He’s running from his problems instead of letting them overwhelm him or dealing with them in a healthy way. He needs an intervention to help him process his grief in a healthier manner, big time. He’s also, sadly, joyless now. Without Wanda, he has no more desire to smile, laugh, joke around, flirt, or do anything he was somewhat known for previously. Her death has affected him so much that it has actually changed his personality. I’m not sure if he could get it back again, or how long that would take, but for now that side of him would be essentially broken.

I don’t know if this explanation was what you were looking for, but if you have any more specific questions about this version of Pietro, feel free to send them my way! =)

[edwardjamescoplin]

Plot Wishlist

This is an old list of plots I wanted to do but never got around to. I’ve described them in m/f, f/f pairings but am open to nonbinary characters as well! 

Disclaimer: I personally have never written a nonbinary character and don’t want to disrespect anyone without properly researching when doing so, but will be more than happy if you’d prefer to play one! 

If you’re up for playing one of them out, simply send me a message or like this and I’ll come to you! I’m more than excited to write with you!

Discord: edwardcoplin#7261

A plot with a woodworker -  maybe a lady was sent to look over this guy because he was running the business himself and he has a business deal with a company where he isn’t meeting deadlines. They send her in to push him to complete the agreed upon orders and she discovers he’s not doing too well mentally/emotionally. She has to straighten him out and in order to keep the deal going he has to obey her. This of course leads to silly arguments and they don’t get on well. He feels that she ruins all the fun because she walks in when he’s goofing off with friends and picks fights with him, so he blames her for his inability to finish the job. This could turn romantic or just be a petty partnership of showing each other up. 

Subject A started having seizures a month ago. Doctors have not given A any type of diagnosis and A is having to adjust to life rapidly changing. A can no longer attend school due to being a distraction as well as not being able to make it throughout a class without being in pain, feeling left out because he/she is not at the same place as the rest of his/her peers with classwork, and of course the seizures are ‘distracting’. Over the span of a month the entire school has blocked A out, slowly halting with newsletters to events and games, rallies, etc. Subject B has had seizures for over two years and has been out of school for a year. He/she was never given a diagnosis and still continues to go to doctors in hopes of finding out something new. A and B meet in the waiting room at one of their therapist appointments, not knowing the other shares a similar experience. They are just two normal people. They talk and bond over common interests but neither tells the other of the crippling effects of their seizures. A and B split and go to their sessions and then leave noting to swap numbers. Over the next six months they trade texts, emails, late night half asleep phone calls, and weekly meet ups at their therapy appointments. The can share their favorite books and movies, old games, etc.. They tell their parents about each other and their parents stay in contact with the belief this connection is healthy for the two of them. A and B have to plan ahead for anything they want to do outside of their appointments. They go to the mall, spend time at each others place, and of course they both find out about the others condition. They don’t use that to bond though. They focus on who they were before the seizure started and who they are now. They try to make the best of things through health scares. Both A and B spend endless amounts of time molding their friendship and doing the things they feel comfortable doing. They don’t push each other, but they kind of protect each other and offer an understanding.                                                     This is just a rough draft idea. I definitely want to develop this more and figure out the exact details of doing it. This is somewhat of a personal experience and I like the idea of normalizing different health conditions. 

Two girls that are best friends and they don’t necessarily click in the way that they wanna fuck and shove each other into doors trying to get the other out of their clothes, it’s more of a co-dependency relationship/friendship. They aren’t dating, but they both get jealous when the other is in a relationship with somebody else. They’re both popular in school/their own crowds (college based), and maybe one of them is head cheerleader for the college/university and the other is a huge science nerd. But they grew up together and they’d never let the differences between cliques come between their friendship. At least they try not to. I want there to be late nights where one is running over to the others house/dorm, even though they should be sleeping, because she needs somebody to hold her while she sleeps. And I want there to be fights and melodramatic little quips. Maybe the nerdy one has a bigger mouth than the cheerleader. I want there to be screwed up make out sessions and then they just pretend like it never happened. It’s nothing more than a friendship. They do everything together. One of them is focused on moral rights and the other is focused on just having a good time, but they have long talks and lose sleep trying to put the pieces together in life and they make dumb plans and just everything is focused on them and growing and learning and finding out who they are and what their friendship really is. I want the craziness of it all. {this plot would most likely include smut, so please 18+ only}

A girl is a serial killer and her parents put her into a mental institute, and the workers at said place are really violent/cruel. They torture her physically and use electric shock/other methods to try and fix her and stuff. Pretty much they do it so much that she’s mentally trapped in a coma state. So, while in this coma, she dreams and makes up this whole other world. She meets a boy/girl and they get on well and basically it can either go in the direction of him/her being a serial killer and they’re killing people or she creates this whole world where they’re just normal people and she imagines him/her up. Another turn it could take, twist here, the boy/girl is actually a serial killer and the people at the institute tortured him/her and killed him/her several years back and now he’s/she’s in her dreams and it’s just really fucked up ok.

Two kids who grew up together and were very close/or maybe not even friends but they’ve met up ten years later and one is like rich and famous and the other runs a library and somehow in business deals they get paired together and have to travel to a place neither is familiar with. They work together to navigate through the entire thing and kind of get to know each other. They could like each other or hate each other, doesn’t matter.

two people, both from different religious views. They’re pushed together for some reason. one of them is really big into Christianity but the other is atheist and the religious one falls for the other and the entire time that person is pushing them away because they don’t believe in love or anything and this related to the song angel with a shot gun, give up religion for em all that jazz.

“I was once told I like people because I enjoy trying to fix them. I’ve learned, now, that there is no way to fix people, and you should not try to fill yourself in between the cracks of their uprooted scars. Upon being told this, I began to see things differently. I watched myself from the outside, captivated by the way I would fall in love with the trivial flaws and misconceptions in a person’s everyday life. I watched as they would walk across the street, dressed for work and bound for disaster at the swallowing of a coffee all too hot, and I would fall into a transitional relation with them. I found home between the curves of their words. They were like silk in my mind. I would find companionship in the alternate spirals of their every step. Their thoughts were like ink to me. I could write down every single one of them. Their tears were like drops of rain filled with the temptations of curiosity in the form of stories. Every single detail became an art piece for me.”                                                                        I wrote this a while back and I really want to create something off of it. Maybe like a m/f goes to the same cafe every day with his/her journal and they write stories about the people they see and like fall in love with people all the time just by watching them.

"Fingertips leave the soft tinted stain of your body against mine. They wrap in rafting waves over the hills of my spine."                                          I would also love to make a plot off of this little bit I wrote a while back.

two angels are paired together by god to walk the earth and do jobs, but then they get in trouble and lose the powers/advantages they had. They get trapped on this universal plane and have to work among mundanes to figure out how to get back to safety. (honestly this is similar to the show Lucifer now that I look back on it)

a cynical lawyer works for a psychotic model

a hunting trip turns into a fight for life with no connection to anyone outside of the woods

"you’re not supposed to look back, you’re supposed to keep going." Maybe something that isn’t necessarily dealing with running away but overcoming some sort of obstacle. I don’t know.

{f} is a dancer, always has been. She’s been in love with it since she was little. She’s never taken a class, just taught herself the choreography to dances. She choreographs her own moves and teaches a hip hop class down in town. {m} has been to dance school, worked all of his life to do whatever his mother wished upon him. He’s dealt with riches and galore, promised to marry a girl from his class, but recently decided to go in other directions. He dreads dancing, however, he’s been sent to teach one class recently. Since joining said class he’s met {f}, who has undeniably brought out the joy in his dance. She pushes him to go after the things he actually wants in life, so long he promises to remain as head in the one class at the studio they both work at. He doesn’t know what to do apart from follow what she says. Something about her makes him see the beauty in the things he hates.

“I would anger angels for you.” — SIX WORDS (2/3/14)                               a plot based off of this, or to use it as a quote for a character

[hecallsmehischild]

Recent Media Consumed

Shows

Primal. Wow, um. So the creator of Samurai Jack pulled another brilliant work out of his sleeves but… man. You can kind of tell he’s wanted to animate blood and gore forever. I think. So, this show doesn’t have a single bit of dialogue and still manages to create compelling characters and interactions and give characterization to animals that you wouldn’t think could be deep characters. Primal is… amazing. Also very violent and gory, so keep that in mind if it bugs you. Also CLIFFHANGER WHY.

Books

The Jesus Scandals by David Instone-Brewer. Bite-sized chapters detailing extra context around several of the ways Jesus and his followers were seen as scandalous in their day (ranging from accusations of drunkenness to bad manners to whispers of illegitimate birth). I kind of wish there was more info, though, and that each chapters was more fleshed out. He does provide a list of further sources at the end of each chapter, though, so I can go digging myself if I want more info. But it gives me some interesting contextual tidbits I didn’t know, and gives me plenty of resources to turn to should I want to dig further. Though most of the resources look like major scholar-level books, the sort you only get to see in the reference section of the library or purchase for $60+ each. Or straight up ancient manuscript sources, which I’m not… even… I mean, can I even? I don’t think I can. (edit after finishing) ohhohoHO jackpot. At the end he provides some more layman level titles for those looking for further context. I’ll be adding those to my wishlist.

When To Rob A Bank And 131 more warped suggestions and well-intended rants by Steven D Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. From the Freakonomics people, this is a collection of their best blogs. Nibble sized chapters/sub-chapters. I kind of wish each topic could be fleshed out more. Still, as fascinating as the other books they wrote have been, I couldn’t pass this one up. After actually finishing it, I can say it was worth the read. Some chapters didn’t do much for me, but others had some really good food for thought. These guys think about everything in terms of economics, which makes economics a lot more accessible and understandable to me.

Hind’s Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. If you can find a copy in a used bookstore, try there first. I forgot this book is now public domain, which means people can slap together the text without triple checking for typos and sell it for themselves. The particular copy that I picked up aside, I remember this story from childhood. I listened to it over and over as an audiobook on cassette tapes. Having read it now, I have mixed feelings about the poetical way it was written. Sometimes I think it is amazing, and other times I wish it would take a break into a more typical style. There are few Christian allegories more blatant than this book (except maybe Pilgrim’s Progress) but it is a very tender look at what sorrow and suffering and repeated disappointments produce in one who continually follows the Shepherd. All in all, I still find it to be a good read.

Movies

Call of the Wild. Warning in advance, I read this book repeatedly as a child. As a stand-alone movie, it’s not half bad. I loved that the dogs and wolves emoted without becoming cartoonish. It was a pretty good story, though I call BS on the “villain” surviving long enough to do what he did. As an adaptation, the highest praise I can give it is that it didn’t COMPLETELY eviscerate the source material. It followed the basic plot and even kept the heart of the book unlike Netflix’ adaptation of White Fang HOWEVER. I was incredibly frustrated by the moral standard imposed on the dogs, and the Disneyfication of the story. If you’ve ever watched Bambi and then read the book, that’s what happened here. The book is graphic. There’s a lot of death, both human and animal. And morality isn’t a question asked by the dogs of the book. The dogs respond, depending on the master, out of fear, respect, survival, or loyalty. Beyond that, there is no objective standard of morality for them that they somehow know. At least, that’s how it is in the book. Because of this, the book’s protagonist dog, Buck, is morally grey. In the movie, he’s a truly noble nearly-human-hero through and through, and every time Hollywood overwrites a truly good story to spout their own message it bothers me. So, pretty good movie as a standalone. As an adaptation, it gets a pass for keeping the heart of the book, but barely.

[debbiewilder]

(idk if tumblr ate my other ask up so im just gonna say it again lmao) do u have any predictions for glow s4 or like.. a wishlist maybe?

oh i got it dude, if you write me an anon that requires more than half a brain cell to reply, it usually takes me a few days to respond, but always good to check, tumblr can be weird!

anyway, to answer your question, here are predictions and a wish list mixed into one, good luck figuring out which is which.

-I want Ruth to start season 4 exactly like we saw her in season 1…at a shitty audition. It’ll feel even more hollow and painful now though (for audience and for Ruth) bc she’s dealt w so much at glow but is still in the exact same place. I think that would be a strong way to start the season, and I could actually see them open with that? 

-I want Ruth and Debbie to spend some time apart. Kind of like Killing Eve season 1, the characters could spend time away from each other but be obsessing over/thinking of each other?? Like I could see that really really working for season 4. I mean, I would obviously love if every scene was Ruth and Debbie together, but I also just think the only way Ruth can figure out who she is and what she wants is if she gets away from Debbie for a little while. Not to mention the only way to get Ruth and Debbie to a healthier, more balanced place is if they spend some time apart I think.

-I mean I obviously wish for Ruth and Debbie to admit they’re in love because duh but….yeah not predicting that 

-I think the last frame of the series could be Ruth and Debbie together looking all happy. Kind of goes against the last frame of the first ep where Debbie is pinning Ruth to the ground in the ring.

-I’m really curious to see what they do with Bash?? I guess we’ll see what’s suggested in Season 3. He’ll start having sex with men, Rhonda will probably find out somehow because she’s pretty perceptive, and she’ll also try to be there for him but it’ll be a huge mess because Bash doesn’t want understanding in ways he prob wants to be hated for being gay…I wonder if it’d jeopardize the new network but I doubt they’d go that route, I think that’d prob be a lame route to take. Rhonda has always been really good at communicating to men who are dickheads to her so I think it’ll be interesting to see what she does when she finds out Bash is gay. And what Bash does in turn anyway.

-Oh, Debbie Eagan. My favorite fictional character of all time. I think her arc is almost all the way there. She’s come a really long way. EXCEPT it’s time we see what she’s like without Ruth. Because that Debbie is gonna be a big ol’ mess and I can’t wait. She’s used to relying on Ruth for like everything. Also, Debbie used some shitty, selfish language when she offered her eden for Ruth and Debbie. I don’t trust GLOW to actually have Debbie realize that though but I wish her to realize that…I mean given how much they’ve skipped over so much other stuff (Debbie took drugs while wrestling meanwhile Ruth thinks Debbie broke her leg on purpose, Ruth had an abortion after having sex with Mark and Debbie doesn’t know etc etc etc). But I do WISH they would have Debbie realize that she used shitty language with Ruth and grow more? So, we’ll see. I think time apart could do them some good and there’s at least a chance Debbie will realize like oh telling someone their dreams will never come true isn’t the best thing to say kjlsdf

-I do think they’re finally gonna give their protagonist a bit of an arc. Sure, it’s in the FOURTH season and that is…ridiculous but…it feels like Ruth may actually get to grow. My fingers and toes crossed that happens dude!! 

-prediction def not a wish: Sam and Ruth have sex. I think Sam could encourage Ruth to reach out to Debbie? Def not a wish too because I want Ruth to figure out her shit on her own but…the writers seem to struggle with making Ruth active so it might be a way to include Sam. I also don’t think Ruth and Sam will end up together or if they do it might have little screen time since the writers seem pretty uninterested in Sam in season 3? I don’t know, we’ll see. 

-Honestly really curious how they resolve Sam’s storyline with the health stuff…because he starts drinking when the doctor told him not to which suggests yeah he could die…but could he die?? In a show like GLOW?? Not sure?? He felt kind of…besides the point in season 3 so not sure what they’re gonna do with him tbh

-unsure what they’ll do with the other girls and how they’ll include them all? I could see the first episode having a more limited cast or something. Until X and then the gang has to get back together again. Oh god I hope it’s not a funeral or something. Or, the B and C story feel super unrelated to each other for a while. Really looking forward to seeing how they bring everyone back together. 

-curious what the new network will be like for Bash and Debbie. In ways, I could see it really working out and meanwhile they’re falling apart in their personal lives because that sorta defines Bash and Debbie? I can’t wait to see them working together omg

-What will bring Ruth and Debbie back together? I don’t know! Ruth goes on an audition and accidentally sees Debbie at the casting. Ruth finally goes to Debbie because she’s ready to be her equal…Debbie goes back to Ruth and realizes her first proposal was shit and she learns her lesson like in Pride and Prejudice and does a better proposal. Not sure. Doesn’t matter, point is Ruth has to figure out her shit first. What acting means to her. What directing means to her. Some ppl in fandom seem to really want Ruth to be a director and think she made a huge mistake not agreeing to Debbie’s terms. I disagree. It feels like she’s done directing in the past because Sam wasn’t doing his job or whatever. She def shouldn’t just be forced down some path someone else wants for her, even if that person is Debbie. Like, Ruth may realize she wants to be a director in season 4 but I just really want Ruth to figure out what she wants and who she is on her own terms and go for it. She could have a healthier relationship to acting. She def needs to have a healthier relationship to fiction and express herself more fully in her real relationships. That would be a happy ending to me. Not her just going to directing because Debbie says she should. I just want Ruth to explore and find a healthier relationship to herself and fiction and Debbie and that’s really my main wish for season 4. And, I predict they may finally honor her.

Hope this nonsense was worth the wait, anon :)