#{ batter up-batter up boy!:jungkook }

[kkukverse]

Down and down

Pair : mma fighter jeon jungkook x reader

Fall, everything

fall, everything

fall, everything,

The muffled screams, the ringing in his ears. The blurry vision and he was sure for a good minute that he was losing his eyesight. If it weren’t for the camera’s flickering lights and the spotlight beaming on this octagon, he thought he was blind. The blow from this McGregor guy took him down, left him sprawling on the red tainted mat. Bloods spluttered everywhere,  mixed with his and the opponent’s sweat. Sticky liquid dripping from both of their mouths as the referee pounds his fist onto the white mat. 

He can see the referee mouthing something, he doesn’t have to focus so hard to know that the referee is counting down the numbers.

“One!” there’s a pause.

“Kook, get up!” from all of the deafening sounds in his head he managed to catch his coach’s muffled voice. 

“Two!” the referee slaps the mat even harder, 

“You motherfu- Jeon Jungkook! GET YOUR ASS UP!” His coach is frantically trying to wake him.

“Thre-”

“Jungkook? Jungkookie? Kookie.” His bruised eyes widen at the sound. It is the most angelic sound he ever heard.

Am I already in heaven he thought.

It’s his most favorite voice in the whole world, the voice that soothes the raging storm in him, the voice that could calm his sea of confusion, your voice. 

She’s here? No. She left. It feels like the time stopped and Jungkook is battling with his inner thought, full of you in it. He slowly raised his upper body before the referee could scream the last number straight at his face.The crowd was a mixture of boos and cheers. In that dramatic moment, his coach managed to ask for a time out. Jungkook was carried by his team members to the corner of the octagon.

Blood was covering most of his body parts, Taehyung wipes them off with cold towels and Jimin was frantically putting balm on his busted lips and on the torn skin above his left brow. Jungkook’s heavily panting for air to fill his lungs and he is still intoxicated with adrenalines. Coach Kim put his hand on both of his cheeks to check if there are any cuts before Jungkook splutters your name over and over again. 

“Is s-she here? Is she here? Please, is she here?” He keeps on muttering something along with your name and Taehyung is shushing him because from the look of it, Jungkook is about to lose his mind and now is not the right time to be that. 

“Kook, she’s not here, but you gotta keep your head in the game.” Coach Kim speaks in a clear voice as he maintains eye contact with Jungkook. With a badly swollen left eye, there’s nothing much Jungkook can see anyway. “I heard her. She’s here, I can hear her voice, she's  calling my name, coach please look for her. I know she’s here” Jungkook pleads at his coach with tears streaming down his face.

“I will look for her, but you gotta finish this fight first” Jimin cups Jungkook’s face. Jimin knows very well that it is borderline impossible to find you at this moment. But if it is what can make Jungkook to keep his head in the game, Jimin wouldn’t hesitate to make up lies.

The crowd erupted again once both fighters were back in the middle of the fighting pit.

The fight continued and ended with Jungkook lost. It was a painful loss, physically and emotionally. All battered and bruised for nothing. He was the boy who is prepared for the battle but never for the lost.

But not lately.

There’s a dreadful silence on the way back to the gym. No one could say a word or even looked at each other. With Jimin patting Jungkook’s shoulder, trying to comfort him, Taehyung can only stare out of the window with Coach Kim gripping tightly on his ipad.

Taehyung peers to look at the blinding lights from the device. 

“The highest paid fighter, Golden Boy Jungkook third lost this season: was recruiting him into the biggest MMA club was a big mistake? It’s indeed a total blow.”

Taehyung scoffed at the stupid headline. The media is so fast to spread nonsense. Absentmindedly, he switched off the devices since the email was flooding in. Coach Kim just let him.

Everyone is mad at the situation, not at the losing fighter. But he seems to be blaming himself by the soft sound of the sniffles coming from him. 

“Kook-ah, it’s fine. We can practice more. There’s always another competition you can win” Coach Kim looks at the poor boy he trained for years sitting on a single seat at the back. This huge tour bus makes Jungkook look so small and fragile in his eyes. 

Jimin squeezed his shoulders, winced as he noticed how stiff he had become.

“You said you will look for her,” came out like a soft defeated whisper from Jungkook. His eyes stared blankly from the tinted bus’s window. It’s almost like a universal joke because somehow it started pouring down. He blames the sky for mockingly crying at him, he hates the night sky for being so gloomy ever since the day you left him.

How could the sky pitied him and yet do nothing when it became his witness on the night he boarded the airplane.

“You know very well she’s not there, Jungkook. You can’t get mad at Jimin, hell, you shouldn’t be mad at anyone especially yourself. You have to stop brooding like this. It happened months ago. Get over it!” Taehyung turns his back to look at Jungkook.

The boy is still staring out. Taehyung is slightly annoyed with Jungkook because he cares about him a lot. 

They fight together, they used to fight each other, they’re each other’s sparring partner. The golden boys of Kim’s Gym and now the rising stars of BigHit Mixed Martial Arts gym. Jungkook was the boy who has the highest winning streaks in a season. Knocking down opponents like they’re made of papers.

Keyword; was.

He slowly went into a slump. As an athlete, slump is dangerous, both mentally and physically. Coach Kim couldn’t force him to practice anymore because he wouldn’t dodge punches and kicks. He lets himself bruised and bleed. Coach Kim thought the best way to get him fired up again is through competition.

Coach Kim knows that Jungkook loves the adrenaline rush, the roaring screams from his fans, he loves it when the referee raises up his hand as he won the fight. But Coach Kim is wrong. Today was his third match and he lost all of them. 

“Taehyung is right. I hate seeing you like this. And I’m sorry for making you fight out of your will. I thought it was for the best.” Coach Kim spoke up to soothe the tense atmosphere. He knows Taehyung means well but he practically raises these three, like he did with his other fighters.

Since they’re the youngest, he has a soft spot for them. The older fighters have achieved a lot, and more mature in handling their emotions. These three are still kids to him. So the moment Jungkook came back that one night, sobbing and broken, he knows something isn’t right.

And he knows he has to be tough on Jungkook. Otherwise, Jungkook will spiral down. Like right now. 

“Jungkook,” Jimin speaks quietly, “Do you wanna look for her again?” Jungkook raised his head to look at Jimin. He gave him a look that Jimin knows so well, his losing hope kind of look.

“I would kill to see her again, but I would die if that ever happened because I broke her, Jimin. How could I see her when I’m the last person she would ever want to see?”

He met you five years ago. In his aunt’s grocery store. You were the new girl in town, the transferred, new teacher at the local elementary school.

The day you walked into his aunt’s store was the day one of his silly hopeless romantic fantasy becoming real. He had this vision of falling in love at the sound of a bell because of an anime movie he watched with Taehyung and Jimin. He rewatched that movie over and over again, imagining finding his true love the way the protagonists in the movie did.

And it happened.

It was a sweet jingle from the bell on the main door of the store, and you walked in wearing a white shirt and faded blue jeans, looking so effortlessly pretty to him. Jungkook thought his eyes were playing tricks with him that day but he swears he can see rays of sunlight following you.

Like a spotlight or it was just him zooming on you. Nevertheless, you were glowing to him. How can he forget that? 

He was busy gobbling down his lunch after he helped his aunt unloaded boxes of groceries on the display shelves. With oil from the fried eggs on the corner of his lips, lips swollen from the spiciness of the gochujang. The bibimbap was delicious but the moment your eyes caught his, the lunch just stuck in his throat, causing him to choke.

He was fucked and it was obvious from the way you were taken aback with his loud cough. He banged his chest with his fist, to control his unstoppable coughing before he immediately ran to the back of the store.

 Gulping down the water, he wanted to cry because your first impression of him, was him, choking on a piece of fried egg because he decided to inhale instead of chewing.

He thought the best way for this to end, is just sitting at the back of the store until you left. He can hear his aunt conversing with you and he envied that. But he is still embarrassed!

While he was busy kicking himself, he noticed the chirping of his aunt’s voice asking you but he didn’t hear your voice, not clearly enough. So he is focusing now, head tilted so his ears can catch the conversation. He acted like a creep and for a second that thought makes him blushed in more shame.

“If you need anything you can just come here and ask. We’re glad to help. What about your belongings? Did you already move them in?” The voice of his aunt sounds like an echo to him. Jungkook was still chewing the bits of meat from the bibimbap. They were a bit tough and might have stuck in his teeth but he didn’t give a damn. Sulking. 

“I only bring the necessary stuff, the one I managed to carry with my car. I have to buy other necessities here though.” Your voice. Holly shit, Jungkook lost it at your voice.

If he is poetic, he’d said your voice is like spring water washing him from head to toe. Refreshing. With no one watching Jungkook grinned like a fool. He doesn’t even know your name. It was literally five seconds ago when he met you. 

“Of course, of course. Do you need help? It pains my heart to see a girl like you carrying heavy things, all by yourself,” His aunt sounds concerned and she has always been that kind of person. The woman who cares about everyone, Jungkook respect his aunt so much.

He took a wild guess, his aunt is probably being mindful about the stuff you bought. Maybe you bought too much than what you can handle.   

“I guess I do need help,” you chuckle. Jungkook thought he fell deep after hearing your voice and now your chuckles are going to be the reason why he will keep falling. Jungkook is daydreaming of hearing your chuckles and he is already making a list of jokes he can throw at you randomly.

He was so sure he wanted to keep seeing you. As you will be a resident in this neighbourhood, he will make sure to get to know you. Just not today. He shivers at the memory of your wide eyes after hearing his horrendous cough. 

Not today, he will make a second first impression to you. In a more gentleman manner. 

“Jungkook! Jeon Jungkook!"

"This boy. Is he still at the back?” His aunt started shouting for him, shattering his plan and his ears. Oh but he’s definitely thinking of your ears first. His aunt has a habit of shouting since she is the boss, that’s how she makes the men move in this store.

Jungkook just groaned loud enough for her to hear him. Remember when he said his aunt cares about everyone? Well his aunt can be scary too. After he realizes his aunt is tutting at the cashier table, he scrambles his long legs to her. 

“Coming, coming. I was eating.” Jungkook whined as he dragged his feet towards his aunt. She knocked his head with a fly swatter. 

“Still eating?! You liar! You already ate! You’re sleeping aren’t ya? Here, come here,” she dragged him by his ear. You chuckle at the view as the two of them looked funny.

Jungkook can’t control how his lips are cracking to form the biggest grin ever at that sound. And wow seeing you up close is far more magical than he had envisioned. Jungkook is definitely taller than you seeing from his one set of doe eyes as he was awkwardly bending down because his aunt pulled him by the ear. 

“Ow ow ow I’m sorry! Stop!” He whines louder. His brain finally sent him the pain signal because he was a little occupied as he looked at you.

You were gazing at him with your soft eyes, and he remembers that he is not wearing his best hoodie today. Jungkook was in his beige baggy sweater, rolled up to his elbows, and black sweatpants. His thick and messy long hair, his pinkish lips, slight oil by the corner of his mouth. He sighed in his heart.

So much for a gentleman’s first impression. But you didn’t give him a disgusting look. Even there’s almost dry sweat patches on his chest, and around the armpits area. You were still smiling sweetly. 

Damn, forget the joke list, if he can keep making you smiling like that, he’ll be the happiest man.

His aunt nudged him and broke him of his own dream.

“You make me look like a fool!” He whispered to his aunt before she laughed out loud. 

“Now, now, is our Jungkookie shy??” She pinched his right cheek.

“This adorable boy is my nephew. But don’t let his looks fool you, he is a mischievous kid.”

“My aunt can get quite excited with people sometimes.” Jungkook smile wide enough before his body went rigid. Shit what if there’s meat stuck in between his teeth?!

What he didn’t know was, you think he is so cute.

Because for a moment he was smiling so bright and then suddenly he zoned out like a puppy. You already think he was cute that day.  

His aunt shoots him a harmless glare before she pats his butt.

“She’s new here. Can you please go and help her carry the things? Be the strong man, Kook,” she whispered in the last sentence and sent the boy a wink. Jungkook scoffed and as if you haven’t heard or witnessed all of that.

His aunt, whom he’s thankful for with every breath he takes. 

The soft knocks on his door bring him back to the present. These days, no, ever since he left for Japan all he think about are you, his aunt, the little town and you, you, you.

“Have you called your aunt yet, Jungkook?” Taehyung peaked his head through the slit of the door. The light breaking into the dark door. Jungkook didn’t even realize he’s been looming in the dark space, he doesn’t even know if it’s day or night.

Taehyung sighs at the tiny hum Jungkook gave him. His little breakdown at Jungkook on the bus last night still makes him guilty. Taehyung knows him better than anyone, and for him to snap at Jungkook like that, he felt guilty. But somebody gotta wake Jungkook up from this state.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung grips harder on the door handle, before he pushes it wide open. Jungkook groaned at the sudden intrusion of light and his friend.

When you’re in the dark for quite some time the lights can be too blinding. 

“Dude what the fuck!” Jungkook barks. Hands hastily pulling up the heavy blanket, hiding himself under it. He hates it. Hate it how he knows he looks pathetic but he doesn’t want to do anything about it. 

“Get up.” Taehyung’s voice is deep and firm. He is so much like his dad. Growing up watching his dad coach fighters, Jungkook thinks this is where Taehyung gained this scary aura. Taehyung doesn’t even flinch at Jungkook’s growling.

Jungkook refused to get up until Taehyung pulled the blanket off of him in one snatched. Jungkook hates it. He feels like he is disappointing everyone and he hates how he can clearly sense annoyance in Taehyung’s sigh.

Taehyung could never feel annoyed by his friends and Jungkook knows that. 

“Kook,” Taehyung softly coaxed him. Taehyung feels like he is suffocating seeing Jungkook all crumpled up, bending his body like a lost little child. Where did his strong friend go? 

“Kook, man you gotta get up,” Taehyung sits down at the edge of the bed. Eyes still on Jungkook even though the man is still shutting his eyes tight. “I apologize for last night, kay?” Taehyung continued.

“‘Kay,” was all Jungkook replied. Honestly, he doesn’t remember what happened last night. All he knew was he lost. 

“Dad told me your aunt called him. Saying she couldn’t reach you. Give the lady a call, Kook.”

“Later,”

“Kook-”

“Anything else Tae? If not, leave me alone.”

Taehyung lets out another defeated sigh. “Yes,” he stands up with his hands inside his pocket.

“We’re going for a run.” Taehyung moves to grab clean sweats and hoodie for Jungkook before he pulls his friend up with all his might because Jungkook is really heavy.

Taehyung must stay positive for his friend. That’s the least he can do. Trying to get his friend back up from a lost battle was never easy and add heartbreak to that too, it is almost impossible.

Jungkook didn’t disobey him because he loves running. He runs all the time. At dawn, or dusk. He runs playfully with his friends, runs for practice, or just simply running and enjoying the scenery.

Tokyo air is very different from his little hometown. There’s no usual bun stall where he can get two red bean buns for free because he always helped the old lady setting up her stall. There’s no chirping and giggling sounds of the school kids coming back from school.

Laughing at him because 'Jungkook hyung is so funny.' 

Tokyo feels so cold and silent. There’s no you in Tokyo. There's no one to share red bean buns with. Once, he bought four buns to eat with you after his running sessions, before he took you home on his scooter. 

After the first meeting at the store, Jungkook always bumped into you. Either when you’re on your way to school while he is finishing the last lap of his run, or when he was just riding his scooter around the school - hoping to catch a glimpse of you.

That first time, he gave you all of his favorite red bean buns because he saw you walking home. Like many late afternoons, Jungkook noticed you were waiting at the gate with the boy he knows, Daehwi.

Jungkook was running an errand for his aunt at that time. He has no idea why he keeps messing up every time you’re near him. He unconsciously twisted his hand harsher making his scooter almost jump forward. 

Suddenly the slow scooter became the fastest vehicle as he zoomed past the two of you. He can see you flinched before you stand protectively in front of Daehwi, the kid whines as he bumps into your back. Jungkook instantly breaks and he makes a sharp U-turn, to apologize.

Looking at you with his wide eyes and open mouth after he took off his helmet. It wasn’t a big scary and loud motorcycle. It’s the scooter he used when he’s on delivery for his aunt. Jungkook winced apologetically as he can see how you stand in front of your student. 

One hand on your hip, you’re biting your inner cheek to suppress a laugh because Jungkook looks like he is about to cry. Perhaps feeling guilty, for driving recklessly. 

“Jeon Jungkook-” with a low tone, you tried to intimidate him. Tapping your foot. Jungkook is blaming his guardian ancestors because they never helped him. Does he even have one?! He needs one before you hate him, completely.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he dropped his helmet with carrot stickers all over it into the scooter basket, clasping his hands together.

You hum before you move away to show Jungkook the scared little boy hiding behind you.

Jungkook understand that it’s not you he needs to apologize to, 

“I’m sorry little guy,” he pouted. 

Daehwi, the loveliest child who can never stand someone else feeling sad, accepted Jungkook’s apology in the most heartwarming way.

“It’s okay Kookie hyung,” coming closer to Jungkook before he taps on his knee. “But you scared Miss ____, hyung.” The little kid looking at Jungkook as firm as he can though his tiny hand on his knee makes Jungkook almost cooed loudly.

Jungkook’s much larger hand is on top of Daehwi’s little hands. 

Jungkook dropped his shoulders with puppy eyes looking at you. Mouthing ‘I’m sorry’. Your mouth twitched up and Jungkook knew he’s fine. 

You concluded that Jungkook is such a big child. Adorable. Everyone here knows him, he delivers food, vegetables, or anything his aunty tells him to deliver. Diligent and friendly.

The example is here, little Daehwi is so much more comfortable around Jungkook than he is with you. Jungkook is paying attention to Daehwi as he whispers something to him. Eventhough you can catch them very well. Daehwi is just too cute.

“Kookie hyung, can I ride your scooter?”

“Ah, little guy I would love to. But if your mom finds out she’s gonna tell my aunt. And my aunt isn’t really cool. She nags too much.” Jungkook playfully makes a grimace face as if he really can’t stand his aunt. When in reality he loves that old lady like she is his mom.

Daehwi gives a scandalous look at Jungkook, instantly correcting him. “I am not a little guy, I am nine this year, right Miss ___?” He turns to face you for confirmation. “I am big enough,” he mumbles under his breath. Coming closer to him, you fix his backpack that is tilted from him moving so fast to be near Jungkook. 

“Yup, but sometimes, big kids can get hurt too. Your mom doesn’t want to see you’re hurting. I would be so sad if something happened to you, too,” you coaxed Daehwi. He hung his head low but perks up at the mention of his mom. 

“Then hyung, get down! Don’t make Miss ____ sad,” with his chubby fingers he tried to pull Jungkook to come down from his scooter. Tumbling forward, Jungkook carefully gets off the scooter and lets the nine year old lead him closer to you.

The two of you chuckled at his cute actions before realizing that Daehwi placed Jungkook’s hand onto yours while he held your other hand. 

Jungkook feels a gush of warmth on the inside and he can’t think straight. He was holding his breath not knowing how to react with his large hand engulfing yours. ‘Crap, my palms are fucking sweaty’ Jungkook whines in his mind.

Blinking furiously because he wanted to wipe the sweat off but he wants to keep holding your hand. The biggest dilemma in his life.

Neither of you tried to break the holds. Jungkook thought you still didn’t let go of his hand because you don’t wanna be rude but what he didn’t know was you were thinking of how slippery your hands are because of the hand lotion you applied earlier on.

He glanced at you through the corner of his eyes, you were biting your lower lips, trying to focus on Daehwi rambling about his truck toys. Daehwi is telling you and Jungkook that he wanted a scooter toy next time, if his mom allowed him. Like Jungkook’s he says. It was endearing but the two of you are too focused on your hands. 

“Mom!” Daehwi shouted as he saw his mom getting down from the car. Immediately you tighten your hold on his pudgy hand so he's not crossing the road mindlessly. You wait until his mom is closer enough before you slowly let him go, he runs towards his mom’s embrace with giggles. His mom picks him up as she bows a little to you.

“Thank you, I’m terribly sorry for being so late.” With an apologetic look on her face.  

“It’s okay, please don’t be sorry. I am willing to wait for him.” You’re not letting her keep apologizing to you. Jungkook stares in awe at you, who keeps bowing at the mother.

“Daewhi is a good boy, I had fun waiting with him.” You chuckled at the boy, who was tucked behind his mom’s thighs. Whining at her that he is hungry for curry. 

“I better get going. Daehwi, say goodbye to your teacher,” his mom asked him. “And to Jungkook hyung too,” his mom smirks at the hands that are still holding onto each other, with a knowing look she smiles at the two of you.

Like an electric jolt, you and Jungkook let go of each other’s hands. He rubs the back of his neck and you clasped your hands together.

Silently he frowned at the loss of the delicate small hand. 

“Kookie hyung is being safe, so Miss ___ won’t be sad if he gets hurt,” explained Daehwi.

“Oh I’m sure he is safe, baby. Now let’s go home. Goodbye you two.” She said as she gave a witty smile to the two of you.

Silence fills the surrounding after Daehwi and his mom drove away. Jungkook feels the urge to say something but for some reason his throat is clogged up.

“Are you on errands, Jungkook?” You break the silence.

“Nope,” answered without a beat. So much of self control Jeon.

“Can you give me a ride home?” 

“Wha- why?” his heart is beating wild. You wanna ride his scooter. With him! And his stupid mouth asked ‘why’ ???!

“I’m sorry for the sudden request, it’s just that I have a few things to carry with me. Or maybe my legs are slowly giving up because I’ve been standing up for too long today,” you explained shyly.

If Jungkook can shut down the thrumming of his heart maybe he can hear how you’re nervous around him too. 

He was just gazing at his shoes, swaying a little. Waiting for you to finish talking. He thinks you’re gonna hate him for not able to answer immediately but Jungkook was just in the zone, because YOU WANTED TO RIDE HIS UGLY SCOOTER!

It’s not a chick magnet kind of bike like Taehyung’s, it’s an old, beige, boring scooter!

“Only if you don’t mind,” you asked softly, as you thought it might not reach his ears but he snapped his head so fast to you.

“Of course!” His voice sounds a little higher. “I mean, of course I don’t mind,” he mumbles. Hands up, showing you that he is completely okay with your request.

“But I don’t have an extra helmet, never mind, you can just wear mine.” Jungkook mumbles to himself. His hands are busy putting the carrot-stickers helmet on your head when you just stare dumbfounded at him.

Laughing at his action, you hunched over with hands on your stomach. “Oh my god Jungkook. Let me grab my stuff first,” you wheeze.

Jungkook finally realized that he went ahead of himself and you were standing in front of him, with your cute giggles and closed eyes and puffed cheeks, way shorter than him and his hands are still under your chin. Trying to buckle the helmet. His eyes widen at the sound of your laugh. 

“You’re silly,” you wipe the corner of your eyes, a bit teary from the laughing.

Jungkook frowned at that, “I’m not silly. I thought you’re ready to go.”

“How can I possibly be ready when my stuff is still inside?” You let yourself go from his hands that were still cupping your chin. Walking inside to get your bag and a small box of arts materials (maybe you don’t actually have a lot of stuff to carry or you just want to spend some time with Jungkook?)

Jungkook saw you and immediately rushed to help you carry the box. You did tell him you’re very capable but Jungkook pretends he didn’t hear that.

“You can hold on to me if you want.” Jungkook pulls the baby hair, at the tip of his sideburn, a habit to distract himself.

“I would like it if you hold on to me, you’d be safe.” He adds. Eyes straight forward, too shy to look at you, wearing his helmet, his favorite helmet! Lightly tapping your box inside the scooter basket with his free hand.

“Okay Jungkook,” you chuckle. Jungkook heard you huffing as you struggled to tighten the helmet and he without a beat, softly tugging the end of the straps. Helping you out and the close proximity allowed him to be so absorbed by staring at your face, your beautiful eyes, your soft jawline, the slope of your cute nose, the slight pouty lips, your eyelashes. Everything about you is so pretty. 

Suddenly he heard a gasp and his big eyes staring shockingly at you, mouth gaping and all. “You think I'm pretty?” You whispered. 

Fuck! 

A curse comes out of his mouth and he wanted, no, dying, for the earth to swallow him because he just blurted his thoughts out loud and now you know he thinks you’re pretty. 

Worst case scenario? Probably you threw his helmet and just walked home. But you were giving him the million dollar smile. The smile he is getting used to. And then suddenly you uttered the magical words to him, “I think you’re pretty too.” it was a firework festival inside of him. Jungkook is back to his smug face and smirking at your flustered self. 

Giving him a bashful smile, you hop on behind him, arms are shyly snaking around his waist. Jungkook’s heart is soaring high. He is sure you can definitely hear his wild heart beating so loud.

“Here we go,”

“Tae, I need to speak with you,” Jimin whispered to Taehyung as the later man was just finished sparring up with another fighter. Panting while wiping the sweat with an already drenched hand towel.

He jumped down to be close to Jimin. From the look on his face, whatever he is about to say must be very serious.

“Yeah? What’s up?” Taehyung asked. It was a hard practice today and he is still panting.

“I found her,” 

There’s a sudden silence after Jimin uttered the words. Except Taehyung’s heavy breathing. Jimin found you. Taehyung’s jaw clenched at the information. He knows Jimin hasn’t told Jungkook yet, because Jimin told him first.

He doesn’t need to think much, honestly, because out of everyone, Taehyung was the first one who knows Jungkook is in love with you even when Jungkook shyly denied that. He knows how important you are to Jungkook.

With his head hung low, Taehyung threw off the boxing gloves onto the fighting mat. The three of them grew up together. Seeing Jungkook in this condition breaks his heart. Out of everyone who found Jungkook whipped in love, it was Taehyung.

Taehyung becomes an acquaintance with you as you’re the new tenant moved a few blocks from his house. 

Few years ago, when he found out about you and Jungkook, he was relentless at teasing the younger guy. Jungkook used to be very private about his love life but with you, he’s different. He talks about you all the time. Taehyung is sure that Jungkook’s mind is occupied with you.

He tried to swing a punch pad to Jungkook, just to intimidate him. 

It is a known fact that Jungkook never missed a swing, not even from the coach. But Taehyung shouted your name and the punch pad kissed Jungkook on his face. And Taehyung is now 120% sure, Jeon Jungkook is whipped as hell.

“You ass,” Jungkook hissed as Jimin pressed the ice pack on his slightly swollen cheek. Taehyung doubled over with booming laughter and he received a sharp glare from Jimin. He has to halt his training to treat Jungkook. Even though Taehyung is the same age as Jimin, Jimin always acted like the eldest brother. The logic is because he was born a few months earlier than Taehyung. 

“I have a match next week and now I have to babysit you. Be serious for once,” Jimin scowl and Taehyung pokes his sides. He knows Jimin will never stay mad. He is the strongest in his weight class, everyone in the city will shiver at the mention of his name.

But Jimin has the softest heart of them all. Every time one of them is injured, Jimin will go all the way to treat them, even if the injury is from a silly prank. 

“Take care of your body, you said you wanna join Joon hyung in Japan,” Jimin pressed a little harder on Jungkook’s cheeks. Purposely sting him so he listened. 

“I am! Tae cannot stop being an annoying little prick,” Jungkook pointed his hand at the giggling Taehyung. Poking his own tongue on the inside of his cheek. Hissing as he felt a little sore. 

Swiping the laughing tear from the corner of his eyes, Taehyung lay down on the floor. All sweaty.

“Oh our dear Jungkookie and my neighbour.” he teases Jungkook while making a kissy face and a loud smooch echoed in the gym. Jungkook just groaned frustratingly. 

“I will never stop teasing you,” Taehyung sings songs.

His cheeks are flushed red. Hand grabbing a towel to throw at Taehyung. “Shut up Taehyung!”

Taehyung chuckles bitterly as he remembers those nights Jungkook swooning over you, as they walked home from the gym. He always talks about you. You were Jungkook’s girl, everyone knows that. 

He even knows the reason you and him broke apart. He witnessed the night the two hearts of his friends’ shattered into tiny pieces. The night that haunts Jungkook, the night that he carried Jungkook to the gym. Meeting his dad. The night Jungkook decided that he agreed for Japan. 

“Tae, do you think we should tell him?” Jimin asked. 

“We gotta tell him,” Taehyung said with a determined look on his face. That night shouldn’t have happened, and he shouldn’t just watch you slip away from Jungkook just like that. What kind of friend was he?

Silence never really means anything is doing good. Like right now, Jungkook is sitting on the couch after Coach Kim broke the news to him.

Another match. 

After a heated phone call with the McGregor team, Coach Kim called Jungkook to meet him at the gym. Coach Kim told him about the phone call he received just now, the phone call that requested another match with Jungkook.

Coach Kim refused without hesitation, even BigHit agreed with him but McGregor felt like it was an unjust match for him. He claimed Jungkook didn’t give his all and that somehow wounded him.

McGregor said he’s been studying Jungkook over the years, he knows Jungkook won a lot of titles and his skill is the most immaculate. 

He has been waiting to fight him and he did. They had their first match and Jungkook fell lower than his expectation. For some reason he felt like Jungkook was fooling him around. This is why he demanded another fight.

Coach Kim is swallowing hard, because he doesn’t want to hurt Jungkook. He wasn’t purposely losing that day. Jungkook never wanted to win anyway.

Not when he stepped into the octagon, not even when he boarded the airplane. It was already over long before McGregor. In fact Coach Kim is still blaming himself for making Jungkook fight in the match that secured him a spot in Japan. 

Jungkook said nothing as he kept staring at his own feet. Both Jungkook and Coach Kim seem to be lost in their own memories. 

“Kook, I need to prepare you for the next match, in September.” Coach Kim’s voice echoed in the gym as he walked to the boys. The three of them, Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin are sprawling on the fighting mat after a rigorous training.

Jimin was hellbent on making the other two his sparring partner because he was almost lost to the one of the fighters from Lee gym. He was annoyed. When Jimin is annoyed, he is relentless and punched so hard. Sometimes Jungkook wonders what he eats, for someone his size, Jimin is a beast.

Panting on the floor, Jungkook uses one hand to lift the side of his body, searching for his coach. “September? That’s such a short notice. It’s a few months from now.” He whines.

Thinking about the overload of workout he must complete, he needs to maintain the body weight and still burn calories and all. It is such a fuss because it requires mental and physical preparation. 

“Yea, Jungkook. It’s a friendly match."

"Come here, check your weight. We have to put on weight this time Jeon. Let’s conquer a different weight class, yeah?” Coach Kim sings songs.

Taehyung is laughing at his friend’s misery. He knows how Jungkook has been on this weird fibre diet because he’s trying to lose weight. Taehyung and Jungkook are in the same weight class even though Jungkook is much more muscular. Taehyung knows his dad, he gotta bulk up Jungkook because Taehyung is already dominating in their weight class. 

“Coachhh,” Jungkook stomped his feet. “It’s my first anniversary soon. I wanna go food hunting with ___.” Jimin chuckles as he shakes his head at Jungkook’s childish behaviour.

Being the youngest of the group gets him away with everything. Jimin winced at the thought of having to gain weight because it was such a hell ride.

Gaining weight is much more difficult than losing weight. He knew it firsthand when he had to gain 10kg for a match. It was a torture, but that’s the life of an athlete, especially MMA fighters. 

“If you manage to gain weight, you can easily win with your skill. We just need to sharpen a little on the jabs and your kick. This new weight class will secure you a place in a bigger tournament.” Coach Kim explains.

“Stop whining, all of your hyungs have done it before. ____ will understand, she always understands.” Coach Kim sends a strict glare to Jungkook only to be counter attacked with big watery eyes.

Taehyung and Jimin eagerly nod, proving the Coach’s statement. Taehyung chuckles, knowing that if he pulls out his name, Jungkook will do it in a heartbeat. “Even Namjoon hyung had to gain weight that one time,”

Hearing his idol’s name Jungkook instantly standing next to Coach Kim, wiping the dirt on his butt. Eyes are fiery as he stares at the meal plan and workout plan Coach Kim already made for him. 

“This time we gotta avoid this, okay?” Jungkook pleaded as he pointed at his face. The last time he took a jab and came home to you with a swollen eye. Jungkook told his coach that he wanted to learn a faster shielding skill. So that no one can touch his face. He said you were crying when you saw him looking like a goey ugly fish.

“Can’t afford to make my girl cry anymore,” Jungkook grinned cheekily. Coach Kim just shakes his head at his action.

“Puppy love,” he muttered but Jungkook gasped dramatically.

“It’s not puppy love! We love each other. She’s the one,” Jungkook claimed. How dare his coach teased him like that. You are the light of his life.

She’s the one 

The more the words replaying in his head the more it hurts. It keeps pounding non stop and Jungkook is tired. He misses you. So much. He hates Japan. He hates himself. Why did he go out that night? Why can he just listen to you? Why did he need to go there and beat his opponent to pulp? Why did he let his temper take over him?

“Tell him I gave up,” Jungkook gets up from the couch. He no longer turns around even after Coach Kim keeps calling his name.

“Jungkook boy, you really gonna give up like that? I know you’re a pussy but holy fuck! That kid can’t even punch me!” The boisterous laugh from the tv screen echoed inside Coach Kim’s room.

Taehyung is clenching his jaw and Jimin sends deathly glare at the flat tv screen. The interviews McGregor did live just now shows that he’s been picking Jungkook’s name and calling him out for not wanting to go for a second match. 

Jungkook is eating a bowl of ice cream with no care in the world as he sits in the corner of the room. Not minding how many times McGregor has been calling out his name from the tv. McGregor is sitting too proudly with a heavy gold belt slung across his puffed chest. Jungkook just smirks at the image. That used to be his dream. 

“You just gonna let him shitting about you like that?” Taehyung said in his deep voice. His eyes sharply glaring at Jungkook. He is mad for his best friend.

But Jungkook doesn’t even budge a muscle, except the one in his mouth, he keeps swallowing a spoonful of ice cream. 

“Let him, I lost interest.” Jungkook sighs. 

Taehyung scoffs bitterly at his nonchalant reply. Without thinking straight he let his mouth run on it’s own. “What would ___ say to you now, Jungkook?” 

Suddenly there’s dead silence in the office. Coach Kim raised his head at his son, eyes wide. Jimin holds his breath but he still glances at Jungkook from his seat, curious to see the younger boy’s reaction at the mention of your name.

Taehyung is still glaring at Jungkook, the tension is thick in the air as Jungkook slams his spoon into the bowl before he roughly puts it on the table. 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Jungkook’s brows scrunch, he looks so mad, so affected by your name. 

“You wanna know something, Kook? ___ once told me she could never come to your match because she didn’t want to see you get beaten up. But look at you now,” Taehyung’s face is unreadable.

Jimin slowly raise his hand to stop Taehyung but the latter man continued, “You got beaten so bad now Jungkook, not physically, but still, do you think she’ll cry seeing you like this,” 

“Tae-” 

“SHUT UP!” Jungkook launched himself towards Taehyung even before Jimin could grab him, he landed a fistful punch on Taehyung’s cheek.  His other hand is grabbing the collar of Taehyung’s shirt. 

“____ would be sad, just like that night,” Taehyung scoffed with a broken look on his face. His eyes are watery, feeling the sting on his cheek and his heart.

Taehyung is sad for the two of you. He knows mentioning your name to Jungkook will only rile him up. But Taehyung doesn’t want to lose Jungkook like this. 

“Tae, stop.” Jimin pleaded. He is still trying to pull Jungkook off Taehyung with Coach Kim.

“Kook, come on. Let him go.” Coach Kim coaxed him. 

“Shut up!” Tears are brimming in Jungkook’s eyes. Of course he remembers that night. He let Taehyung go before he flopped down on the floor. Bringing his knees close to his chest. Covering his face with his hands.

“Japan?” 

You raised an eyebrow before you got up from his hold to fetch a bowl of ice cream from the kitchen. He was just mindlessly playing with your hair while the two of you catching up the latest episode of Demon Slayer (his request).

It was an usual weekend night where he stayed with you, cuddling, enjoying each other’s company.  As he was getting lost in the smell of your shampoo, sighing happily for having you in his arms, he blurted out about Japan.

“Yea Japan. One of BigHit Mixed Martial Arts Gym is there.” He stares at your delicate figure, wearing his oversized shirt and a short with a bowl of ice cream. Smacking his lips at you, you look so cozy and he is just, in love with you.

It feels like yesterday when he confessed to you and you let him woo you. 

“That’s so sudden,” your voice sounds unsure and tiny. Slotting yourself in between his legs, Jungkook immediately wrapped his big arms around you, while covering himself with the blanket.

“I know. It’s not official yet as I haven’t given them any say. I’m not sure if I wanted to go or not. For now,” he mumbles. Another habit of his. He is usually a very outgoing boy but when he is unsure he tends to hide, making himself look smaller by crouching or when he sits he wraps his arms around his bended knees.

Now, having you in between his legs, he settles with hiding behind your neck. He feels a lot calmer feeling your skin close to his chest. 

He avoided coming home after a match because he looks terrible but he always found himself nuzzling your chest with his hand under your shirt. Your skin, it’s like a safe warm blanket for him.

“Do you want to go?” You hesitantly asked. Eyes still on the screen but Jungkook cannot be sure where your mind is at. 

“I mean, I’ve been aiming for Japan ever since I started taking this seriously. Again, like I said, I’m not sure,” he stressed on the last part. Blinking at you. Why are you not looking at him? Are you upset?

Your hand that isn’t holding the bowl grabbed one of his. Your thumb caressing his skin softly yet your eyes still not looking at him.

“I think it’s best for you to go, right?” You said. Tilting your head and it allowed him to lay his head on your shoulder. He shower you skin with kisses and it makes you let out a breathy laugh. 

“Yeah?” His voice sounds tiny as he is still searching for your eyes. 

“Yeah Jungkook, chase your dream,” this time your eyes are downcast. Thumb rubbing unknown patterns on his skins. He didn’t say another word. Giving up in making you look at him.

He doesn’t feel right. 

Were you upset hearing about Japan? He told you, he, himself is still not sure whether he wanted to go there or not. What he wanted, for now is to be with you. If, let’s say, if he were recruited to Japan, he is thinking of bringing you along.

Truthfully he cannot think of being in a long distance relationship with you. He shudders just thinking about that. He knows long distance relationships are very rare to work out. And he is going to be super busy with matches and practice. Thus which is why he wanted you to come along.

He will try his best to support you, but you're a woman with your own career. He is biting inner cheeks, because he doesn’t know how to break the question to you.

“I feel like I’m a bad influence.” You break the short silence. Jungkook’s mind is still racing with thoughts so he managed to reply to you with a questioned hum.

You tap on the bowl with your fingernails, making clicking sounds with your tongue as well. 

“Stop, you always said that yet you still spoon fed me,” he groans. Wiggling his peeking toes from the end of your blanket. Trying to distract his mind for a while.

Spend the night, he thought. And maybe ask you after next week’s match.

“You always ended up eating something sweet. What about your meal plan? Gain weight class plan?” Your toes are cold against his hard calf. Spoon clicking inside the large bowl of ice cream. It’s silly.

Silly, because it was pouring heavily outside, just after the dinner and here you are eating ice cream together. As if it’s not cold enough.

“Kookie,” you called for him realizing he zoned out. That nickname seems to pull him back to you, making him scoff in disbelief.

“Stop calling me that,” he chuckled before pinching your side.

You giggle. Ever since you heard Daehwi called him Kookie hyung, you’ve been calling him the same nickname too. 

“Kookie,” you pouted. Jungkook is scrunching his eyes, pretending that your acting cute is doing nothing to him. But oh he can never pretend that he is unaffected by you. 

Jungkook playfully clenched his teeth as his legs pulled the blanket away from your legs. You flinch at the sudden feel of cold air.

“Hey!” You screech.

“Serve your right,” he tucked the rest of the blanket securely under his laps, making it impossible for you to have it back. 

“I’m cold,” you shudder. That’s all it took for him to give in and pulled your legs across his lap. Running his hands up and down to warm them up before he covers the two of you under the fluffy blanket.

He feels warm and you’re safely in his arms. Yeah, he will properly ask you to come with him to Japan. As soon as possible.

You feel like your breath is taken away after you received the phone call. Your body slumped over the chair. Mind a little fuzzy and fortunately it was recess time, you were in the Teacher's Lounge when your phone vibrates. It was Taehyung. He said JImin got your new number from Daehwi’s mom and Jungkook has no idea about the call. 

He asked you simple things people asked, like when they had not seen each other for some time. Polite and precise.

‘How are you?’, ‘I hope I’m not bothering you, is it okay I’m calling you now?’. You know Taehyung, he wouldn’t suddenly call you just because he wanted to know about the weather or what not, whether you have eaten yet or not.

So you went straight at him. 

“Is Jungkook okay?” You wanna despise him but you can’t. After all these months of crying and in pain. All of the scripted anger in your head, prepared to be bombarded at Jungkook once he called you, disappears into the thin air. 

Instead of replying, he talked about Jungkook’s loss. You knew, of course you’ve been keeping track of him, how can you not? When he is all over the place. The television, social media, the whole nation is talking about him. Your heart aches even more.

Jungkook has always been so hard on himself, especially when he loses a match. You have been thinking how he’s been coping up so far.

And then Taehyung asked you for a favor. That is what puts you in your position right now.

“Can you come to Japan?” Taehyung asked you. He sounded defeated and with the heavy sighs you concluded that Jungkook’s loss is affecting them all.

“For him. I know whatever that had happened was bad. But, he’s not being himself and we don’t know what to do anymore,” Taehyung continued. “He won’t fight, he has been so aloof and won’t respond to us. Please ____. He needs you,” 

Shutting your eyes tight as you pinched the bridge of your nose, the tears are welling up in your eyes and you don’t wanna cry anymore. But your heart aches thinking about seeing him again in Japan and when that’s the place that makes everything go down in between you two.

You and Jungkook were in a relationship of one year at that time. Like any normal couples, there’s banter and bickering, fights and also make ups. You and him always make up after a fight.

Jungkook would never rest well knowing the two of you didn’t sit down and talked the frustration out. He is a very level headed guy, though sometimes he seems a little childish but to you that’s what makes him, him. But Jungkook has always been the one who apologizes first. Your soft Jungkook. 

But that wasn’t your Jungkook that night.

The night he told you about Japan again, only this time he uttered out his desire of having you there with him. You didn’t know what triggered you at that time but for some reason you chickened out.

The sudden request from Jungkook throws you into the abyss of thought. You’re thinking about your teaching, leaving your parents, friends, building a life in Japan?

These thoughts terrify you. Jungkook said he’d be in Japan for a few years. This is why he needed you there as well. You think that’s selfish. Jungkook will spend his time practicing, and fighting. What about you? You don’t even know Japanese.

So you said no, a hesitated no, because amidst the scary thoughts, of course you wanted to be by his side. Maybe you’re feeling a little tired that day, so you just pushed him away. Or maybe it was the way he asked you. Like he demanded you to be by his side. You told him no, you cannot do that. He got frustrated. And it was the first time he’s frustrated with you.

“You never support my dream,” were the words he spat at you. It feels like venom flowing in your ears to your heart. How could he say that? 

What he didn’t know was you went to his match for the first time. He was so blacked out. Didn’t notice a thing while his chest heaving rapidly like a fish being left out on the dry land. You were a crying mess by his side. Trying to call out for him but he was laying there wheezing out his breath like he’s dying. His face was covered in bruises, busted lips and sweats drenching him from head to toe. Till this day, you flinched every time you heard a bell sound. It reminds you of the time they rang the bell in the arena because Jungkook was so fucked. The match had to be stopped. Taehyung pulled you to the side though you refused, still grasping on Jungkook. You were there and you thought he was going to die!

Jungkook was admitted to the hospital. Broken ribs, punctured lungs, fractures on his right elbow, they had to put metal rods in his ankles. His pretty long fingers - the fingers that glided through your thighs, warming you up at night - they’re broken and the some ligaments are torn.

Coach Kim comforted you at the hospital bench, telling you Jungkook will undergo a surgery to reattach the ligaments.

Jungkook hasn’t woken up for two days. 

You have been sitting by his side, only switching places with Taehyung and Jimin as the two coaxed you to take a shower and eat something. You remember crying in front of Taehyung as he makes you instant ramen. Taehyung was so worried about you.

Telling you the harsh truth that these kinds of injuries are common. What were you supposed to feel at that time? You were worried sick for Jungkook and you’re gonna push through that everyday and wish he comes home in one piece after a match? This is hard for you.

So you told Taehyung you’d never do this again. 

Yet how dare Jungkook said you never want to watch him fight, never support his dream.

After he said those words, he rushed out of the house in anger. He slammed the door and you refused to call him back. He went out and you let him. 

It was past three in the morning and you can’t sleep. Because you’re waiting. Waiting for that silly guilty smile apologizing at your door. Waiting for the buffy boy crawling to your chest as he mumbled out how sorry he was and how much he loves you. You were practicing your version of apologize because you realized you were harsh on him too.

You realized you were not being a supportive girlfriend. Jungkook might feel nervous before he asked you and you just pushed him away. Of course he was frustrated. You waited and the bed was cold that night. 

You were holding your phone, expecting him to call you or anything but when it was vibrating, it was Taehyung.

He told you that he’s going to bail Jungkook out from the police station. All you can heard was 'Jungkook, got into a fight, he beat the fuck out of a man, someone called the police because they were loud, he got locked up' and he called Taehyung for help.

Your stomach dropped. You rushed to get your hoodie and changed your shorts into some decent pants, your hair was a mess and you rush yourself to the police station.

Jungkook was already outside of the police station the moment you arrived. His head was hanging low and Taehyung just sat on the stairs. Looking lethargic because who the heck looks good at this goddamn hour? 

You didn’t say a word as you run to the them, you shoved Jungkook on his shoulder. Pushing him hard because you were so mad at him. Why did he go around and beat people now? 

“What the fuck Jungkook?!” You seethed at him. Still pushing him. Jungkook kept his mouth shut tight. He didn’t even budge, not even when you banged your fist on his chest. You know Jungkook is a strong boy and your little fists can do nothing to him, but you wanted to hurt him so bad.

Make him feel what you’re feeling at that time. You heard him sniffed but you didn’t stop pushing him. You didn’t even realize your face was so flushed and wet with tears. 

“How fucking worried I am!” You shouted at him with a sobbed and you started panting. Jungkook can sense that you’re about to have a panic attack. Taehyung got up to settle the two of you but he didn’t think it was right for him to intervene. 

“Babe,” Jungkook grasped your wrists, wanting to calm you down. 

“No!” You pulled your hands from him harshly, pointing a finger at him. 

You take a good look at his face before you breathed out. “Go.”

The single word was like a hard punch in his gut. “What do you mean?” he knew but he still asked, there’s no way you’re doing this to him.

“You wanna go to Japan, right? Then, just go,” you wiped your face with the sleeves of your hoodie. Your eyes downcast because you cannot look at him. Not when his face was so broken, the sounds of his pleads and sorry’s.

At that time you think it was the only way. 

Taehyung is restless. Jungkook’s second fight with McGregor is in the next hour and he is still at the airport. In the end Jungkook agreed for the second match. Everyone is worried for his state but Jungkook said he just wants to get this over with.

Doesn’t matter if he lost again. He said he wanted a break for a while after this one. That was his only request. Right now Taehyung hopes Jimin can somehow distract Jungkook from noticing that he is gone. 

Your flight was delayed for half an hour and Taehyung is agitating in his seat. The moment he saw you walked out the arrival gate, he rushed to help you but stopped himself after seeing you only carrying a backpack.

He didn’t comment on that as he make small talks with you, walking to the car. He briefed you about the match, preparing you for what you were about to see. Taehyung knows you were still traumatized and he selfishly feels happy for Jungkook. Though you’re scared and your legs are bouncing, you are willing to come today. 

You cast your eyes to the outside views, the car drove past a hectic pedestrian street. You’ve never been to Japan. You were a little fascinated and for a moment you’re thinking of Jungkook enjoying the city.

You missed Jungkook, so much, but seeing him for the first time since the breakup and seeing him at the fighting pit is so nerve wrecking. You’re not sure how you’re going to react.  

“The arena is pretty big. There will be a lot of people. But stay close to me, okay?” Taehyung’s voice breaks your thought.

“Okay,” you anxiously rub your thumbs together. 

“It is scary, but he will be fine,” Taehyung softly said.

“I know,”

Taehyung let out a curse as the two of you entered the arena. Your eyes darted to the center of the arena, the octagon. You can see the ring girl is holding up number 4 as she walks like a sly fox around the stage.

You can see why Taehyung cursed because you missed almost half of the fight. The crowds are still pumped up with loud cheers and booed. Some of them stood up and started chanting names. You can catch Jungkook and other names as well. 

It’s scary and you can feel your heart beating twice harder than normal the moment you drove out of the airport. You can’t see the octagon clearly as Taehyung pushed through the crowd, holding your hand. He brings you close to the team.

Sitting at the front seat. 

Your breath stopped when you heard a grunt and you snapped your head up to see Jungkook swing his left arm at the opponent. Hard. You flinched backward, trying to get away. Your mind is telling you to turn around but your eyes still bore on Jeon Jungkook. 

He is already injured with blood stains on his brows. You frown at the view. Suddenly feel your heart clenched. Taehyung left you at the seat as he ran to his dad. You can hear him from where you stand.

You cannot sit down because all the adrenaline rush you’re feeling in your body is making your heart beats wild. This is just like the first time you went to his match. 

The loud noise, the lights, the screaming from the commentator. But this time, weirdly enough, you feel relieved. Jungkook is up there, and you’re looking at him in his glory. Despite what Taehyung told you, he looks like he is really trying to win.

And you were glad. This is his dream. He gotta win. Of course he will win.

Another uppercut jab from Jungkook on his opponent’s face.

“How’s the first half?” Taehyung asked his dad and Jimin.  

“Hard! Kook beat that guy real hard. Kook is really fighting this time.” Jimin smiles at Taehyung, he lets out a shaky laugh.

“He is fighting, Tae! Does he know ____ will be here? Where is she?” Jimin looks for you in the crowd before Taehyung pointed at you. He is calling you to come even closer. And now you’re literally a few steps away from the octagon. 

Jimin noticed how your eyes are wide, watching Jungkook head lock the other man on the mat and the way you’re clasping your hands like you’re praying for Jungkook. The referee pounded his fist on the mat, and the bell indicates that the five minutes of the fourth round is over. 

Jungkook spits out his mouth guard as he walks to the corner of the octagon, where everyone is ready to assist him. Coach Kim jumps up to give him a bottle of water for him to gurgle out the blood in his mouth, instantly checking up the injury on his face. Coach Kim frantically explained the next move to Jungkook, guiding him for the last round but Jungkook shakes his head. Mumbling that he is tired. Jimin softly grabs his head so he can sit straight, otherwise Jungkook might collapse. Taehyung wipes the sweat on his chest, avoiding the red spot on his ribs. 

You watched the whole scene with a dry mouth and you were blinking away your tears. Like a lost child you stood still by the barriers not knowing what is your purpose to be here.

You heard Jimin and Taehyung calling out Jungkook, lightly tapping his cheeks and you gasp as you can see Jungkook fluttering his eyes rapidly. 

Following your instinct you climbed up the octagon standing shakily behind him. With only the tall steel cage separating you and him, you managed to fit a few of your fingers through it. Not even a whole hand but at that point, that is enough to touch him. Your cold fingers against his hot and sweaty temple. It’s crazy how a simple touch can make you so happy.

“Jungkook? Jungkookie? Kookie,” a sob wrecking through your body when you call his name as clearly as you can. You need him to hear you.

Jungkook snaps his head, turning around to look at the source of the voice. It’s you and he swears that everything inside the arena just turned into a blurred backdrop. His focus is on you alone. 

“____,” he choked out your name, letting your fingers softly touch his cheeks. His long locks dangle on his forehead, wet with sweat and yet he can see you as clear as the first time you walked into him choking on fried eggs.

“You’re here. You’re really here,” he breathed. Closing his eyes as he leans on your cooling touch.

“I’m here. I’ll wait here, but you gotta promise me. Don’t let that guy beat you up. You got me?” You grew frustrated with the cage. Jungkook notices that and his face seems to show the same feeling as yours. He brings himself closer to you and lets his forehead touch yours.

“I promise, stay okay? I need you. I will end this fight, and we talked okay. I need you,” Jungkook chanted and without knowing, your face is flushed with tears. Jungkook hushed you softly as the ring announcer’s voice booming loud, calling the fighters for the championship round. 

Coach Kim, Taehyung and Jimin look at Jungkook. They could see the glint in his eyes and they knew Jungkook would beat the shit out of his opponent. 

Each round is five minutes long, give or take. It will end sooner if one of the fighters is completely knocked out, or when they tapped out. A sign of giving in. To some, five minutes is so short, it’s like a length of a song or two. Five minutes is relatively short.

But in UFC or MMA matches, five minutes can feel like an eternity. Jungkook once told you that in that five minutes, imagine yourself running so fast while dragging tons of weight. Plus, you have to be very agile and precise with your attacks so that you won’t be wasting energy on just yielding. 

To other eyes, the crowd, the commentators, five minutes pass by as quickly as a lightning. Jabs, round kicks, or overhand are very swift moves. A blink and you might have missed it. But to the eyes of the team, the coaches, and the fighter. It’s a slow-motion moment.

They can calculate the next move, figure out the weak points and you can see that too. As an outsider of the MMA world, you can see Jungkook moves in slow-mo as his legs do a sharp snapping motion.

It’s a powerful strike and the sound, it’s like the other guy is getting hit with a baseball bat. Unlike the first time you watched him fight, this time you can see Jungkook in his beautiful glory. And that makes you wipe your eyes furiously. How can you leave him like that?

The other guy is already weakened but Jungkook didn’t falter. This time he trips the opponent by pushing the upper body while taking one of his legs, making him lose his balance and fall immediately with a loud thud. 

“Watch carefully, ____. This is Jungkook’s signature move!” Jimin shouted excitedly to you because the crowd erupted in thunderous cheers as Jungkook executed his moves and the commentators shouted at each other. Telling everyone what Jungkook had done.

Jimin has been eyeing you since the first second Jungkook got up. He can see the awe in your teary wide eyes. Jimin shakes his head, chuckling at you who only turned your body at him but your face is zeroed on Jungkook. He’s not sure you heard him or not but he thinks you did. So he keeps explaining Jungkook’s next move to you. 

“This is what we called Jungkook’s Overhead Slams. See how Kook is closing the gap on that guy with his arms hooked tightly under his knees and look! Look! Kook lifted him up!” You watched with your breath stuck in your throat. Jungkook was so fast and it happens so quick! Jimin is already jumping with his fist in the air.

Shouting “Slam! Slam! Slam!” with Taehyung and Coach Kim. Everyone in his team is already cheering.

“This is when he will slam his opponent! McGregor won’t stand a chance! And he slams!” Jimin screamed with you as the loud fall on the mat echoed and in a milliseconds the crowd turned quiet and suddenly the arena was shaking with how loud everyone was screaming.

The referee runs to stop Jungkook from punching the guy who was laid motionless on the mat. The referee announced that it is a total knockout because the guy is completely incapable of standing up. 

Jungkook won!

He fell on his knees, gasping for air but he turned his head to look for a certain someone in the crowd. The frantic coach and his team members are calling for him and yet all he can see is your small figure in the sea of people. Your glowing features amongst the flashlight. He got up and jumped over the tall cage to you. Landed on his sore feet but it’s you that’s waiting down there. He doesn’t care about the feet. 

You wanna say something. Something like congratulations or good job or whatever but can seem to find your voice. Bet you looked like a clown with a gaping mouth and blurry eyes because of the tears. He beats you first by engulfing you in a hug. Landing his head on your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. Jungkook was over the moon when you hugged him back. 

“You won,” it comes out like a whisper to him.

Jungkook can’t even reply because he feels so overwhelmed. To him it was the first time you saw him fight and won (and wide awake unlike that time when he blacked out). With a frowning lips he lets himself cry. Be damned to all the journalists taking photos of him crying.

The two of you become the centre of attention as the cameras are showing you on the big screen and the photographers swarm up making a circle, taking photos. All you can feel, see and hear is Jeon Jungkook. 

“Oh no,” you pouted at his frowning look, wiping his tears away. He will always be your baby. “I’m sorry,”

He shakes his head, cupping your cheeks and he kisses you. All of those days away from him makes the kiss more emotional, it was soft like and gentle. You are aware of his split lips but Jungkook dives in and he didn’t even flinch. Soon the kiss turns needy as he licks your lower lips and the ring announcer laughs. His voice abruptly pulls you apart. You were a blushing mess but Jungkook just groaned annoyingly.

“The winner, come claim your winning belt first. Let me announce you and then go back to your girl,” the ring announcer teased.

“Stay, stay. Okay.” He said and you knew it wasn’t just staying in the arena after he got his belt. It sounds like he wanted you to stay for a long time. This time you’re not freaking out, you nod.

Giving him a reassuring smile. Ushering him back to the octagon and you can see he bounces with happiness as the referee raises up his hand and the ring announcer screams his name. The two of you will work it out, everything will get better again but for this moment, you’ll stay.

“I need you,” Jungkook mouthed at you. 

“I’ll stay,” you blew him an air kiss.

[focusonkayjay]

between the ride and the roses (15)

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: biker/ motorcycle shop owner! jungkook x flower shop owner! reader, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, slow burn, angst, smut, fluff

Word count: 5.4k+

Series summary: There's an insane turn of events when your calm and peaceful life is intruded by Jungkook, a biker boy who sets up his loud business right next to your own. Your paths cross under unlikely circumstances, starting with a clash of personalities but gradually you find yourself establishing a deeper connection with the annoyingly attractive biker jerk. You both have no idea what's in store for you guys as you try your best to put up with each other.

Chapter Warnings: angst, angst and angst, mature language, mention of injuries, stitches.

A/N: happy taehyung day !! <3 it's still the 30th where i live and i truly hope that tae had a day filled with love and happiness.

in light of everything, i also want to acknowledge the heartbreaking tragedy of the plane crash in korea. my heart goes out to all the victims and their families, and i am sending my deepest condolences. may they find peace, and may those we've lost rest in peace🕊️

part 15: carnation crash

The second Jungkook pulls the door open, his eyes land on you, and the sight sends a sharp pang through his chest. Your disheveled state, the bandage wrapped around your head and the one on your hand doesn’t escape him.

His mind races with questions. He wonders how you got here at this hour. Did you walk all this way? The very thought carves an ache deep into him, one he struggles to name.

“Y/n?” he finally manages, his voice low. “Kook…” you breathe out, and the sound of your voice... so drained, so heavy with fear and unease sends his heart into freefall. You don’t wait for him to say more. Stepping forward, you wrap your arms around his torso, clinging to him.

Jungkook freezes for a moment, startled, but then he exhales and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. With one hand, he carefully reaches behind to shut the door, cocooning you both in the quiet of his apartment.

“Did you walk here?” he asks softly, his voice laced with concern. You nod weakly against his chest. “I missed you.” you whisper, and the raw vulnerability in your words almost undoes him.

He bites down on his lower lip, hard, fighting the urge to crumble. He knows he can’t let himself weaken… not now, not when he feels like the very reason for your pain.

“Let me get you some water.” he says quietly, carefully removing your hands from his torso. His touch lingers, hesitant, but he doesn’t meet your eyes as he turns and walks towards the kitchen.

You trail after him, your gaze fixed on his figure. You can’t help but notice the tension in his shoulders, the way he avoids looking your way. He searches for a glass, his movements slow yet restless, and his teeth worry at his lower lip.

“Kook...” you call out softly, breaking the suffocating silence. “Why didn’t you come to the hospital?” The question lingers in the air, heavy and unyielding. He freezes mid-motion, an empty glass in his hand, and finally turns to face you. The light from the kitchen spills over him, illuminating every detail you hadn’t noticed before.

Your breath hitches. His face, bruised and battered, tells a story you know he won’t voice. The gash on his lip glints faintly under the overhead light, but it’s his eyes... red, swollen, brimming with a guilt so profound it seems to engulf him. The physical wounds are merely the surface, it’s the storm raging beneath that terrifies you.

“Did you get into a fight?” you ask, your voice trembling as you step closer. He doesn’t answer. His jaw clenches, and he turns away, his shoulders taut as if trying to bear the crushing weight of your question. He sets the glass down on the counter, gripping it tightly, as though it’s the only thing grounding him.

“Kook, look at me.” Your voice wavers, raw with the strain of emotions you’ve kept bottled up. When he still doesn’t respond, you close the distance, gently cupping his face in your hands to make him look at you. His skin is warm beneath your touch, but his expression remains cold, distant.

“I told you to stop this.” Your voice cracks. “You promised me you wouldn’t get into fights—”

“How could I not?” he snaps suddenly, his voice sharp, the edge of it cutting through you. You pull your hands back, startled by the intensity of his tone. His hands clench into fists at his sides as he looks at you, his eyes ablaze with a fury born of anguish. “After what Mingyu did? After what happened to you?”

Your chest tightens as the weight of his words sinks in. “Kook, I never asked you to fight him—”

“You didn’t have to!” His voice rises, breaking under the force of his emotions. “Do you think I could just stand there and do nothing? Let him get away with it? After I saw... your shop, the ruins, the broken pots... do you have any idea what that did to me?” His voice trembles, and his fists tighten further. “I saw what he tried to do to you, Y/n. To us. Do you think I could just let that go?”

“Kook, you’re not listening to me—”

“No, you’re not listening to me!” he yells, his voice shattering the fragile space between you. “I couldn’t come to the hospital because I couldn’t face you, okay? I couldn’t... I couldn’t see you like that, knowing it's all my fault.”

You step back, stunned. “Your fault? Kook, none of this is your fault. Mingyu is the one who—”

“But it started with me!” he cuts you off, his voice breaking. “If I hadn’t moved next door to you, if I hadn’t been such an ass to you from the very start, if I hadn’t—” His voice falters, his breath hitching as he tries to steady himself. “You’d still have your peace, Y/n. Your shop wouldn’t be in ruins. You wouldn’t be hurt.”

“Kook, stop.” Your voice trembles as you take a step closer, desperate to reach him. “You can’t blame yourself for this. Mingyu’s actions are his, not yours.” you explain.

But he shakes his head, his eyes glistening. “He came after you because of me. Because he figured out what you mean to me. Because he realized that hurting you was the easiest way to get to me.”

Your breath catches at his words. His voice softens, but the pain in it sharpens every syllable. “I... I promised myself I’d protect you, Y/n. But look at you now... bandaged, bruised, broken... all because I couldn’t keep you safe.”

“That’s not true.” you whisper, your voice thick with tears. “You didn’t do this to me, Kook. Mingyu did.” you try again, desperate to make him understand.

He exhales shakily, running a trembling hand through his hair. A bitter laugh escapes him, heavy with self-loathing. “It’s so hard for me to look at you…” he mutters, as if confessing to himself more than to you. His words hit like a hammer, and your heart feels on the verge of shattering.

“To act like I’m not the reason for the chaos in your life...for everything wrong that has happened to you... I've always been an ass to you... made you cry... and it scares me because I just—” He stops abruptly, his words hanging unfinished, but the weight of what he wants to say is almost suffocating.

“You just what, Kook?” you whisper, your voice barely audible. “You just what?”

His eyes lock with yours, and for a fleeting moment, you think you can see everything he’s been holding back. His lips part, but then he steps back, retreating from the vulnerability threatening to spill over. “It doesn’t matter...” he exhales, his voice cold and detached now, the walls he’s been trying to build, slamming back into place.

“It does matter.” you cry, your voice breaking. “It matters to me, Kook. You matter to me.”

“No. Not anymore.” he says firmly, his tone void of the warmth you so desperately seek. “What matters is that... that I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep pretending like I’m good for you.”

“You’re wrong.” you sob, stepping closer, but he moves back, the distance between you widening like an unbridgeable gap. “You’re so wrong.”

“You deserve better. Someone who doesn’t bring chaos into your life. Someone who—”

“Stop it!” you plead, your voice trembling under the weight of your sobs. “Stop trying to decide what’s best for me! You don’t get to do that, Kook.” Your chest rises and falls with each shaky breath as you lock eyes with him, desperately hoping to find a flicker of understanding, a shared agreement. “You are good for me.”

“I really... I really wish I was.” he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper. The words hang in the air, an unwelcome silence settling between you, and as he looks at you one final time, his expression is a heart-wrenching blend of longing and devastation.

Then, before you can respond, he takes a step closer, grabbing your wrist... not harshly, but firmly enough that you know he’s not letting go.

“Kook, what are you doing?” you ask, panic creeping into your voice as he begins pulling you towards the door. “Let me go! Kook, stop!” you protest, trying to dig your heels into the floor, but his grip remains steady, unyielding.

“We’re done talking.” he says, his voice low but resolute as he steps out of his house and drags you down the stairs of his apartment building. Within seconds, the cool night air hits your face as he pulls you outside. Your heart pounds, confusion and heartbreak intertwining in a chaos.

“Kook, please, just let me—”

He doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look at you as he steps onto the curb and flags down a passing cab. The car screeches to a halt right in front of you, and before you can process what’s happening, he’s opening the door and guiding you inside.

“Kook, stop this!” you plead, your voice shaking as you push against his arm, but he doesn’t budge. His grip on your wrist is firm yet gentle, his jaw set with an unwavering determination.

“Please don’t do this, Jungkook.” you plead, your voice cracking as you reluctantly slide into the backseat, your gaze fixed on him through the window. You reach for the door handle, but he presses his palm firmly against it, stopping you from opening it.

With his hand still on the cab door, he leans towards the driver, his body tense. His voice is steady, yet it trembles with the weight of his emotions. “Please take her home safely.” he says, quickly rattling off your address, his urgency leaving no space for refusal.

Through the glass, you see him standing there, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets, his head bowed low as he steps away from the car. He doesn’t look at you, not even when the driver starts the car and pulls away from the curb.

You twist in your seat, craning your neck to keep him in view for as long as possible. But he doesn’t move. Doesn’t look. Doesn’t chase after you. He stays rooted to the spot, growing smaller and smaller in the distance.

Tears blur your vision, streaming freely down your face as the reality of his actions sinks in. The ache in your chest intensifies, a searing pain that feels like it could tear you apart. You press a trembling hand against your mouth, trying to stifle the sobs that grow louder with each passing moment.

The driver glances at you through the rearview mirror, his expression softening at the sight of your distress. Reaching near the gear shift, he carefully pulls out a small packet of tissues. Without saying a word, he extends his hand towards the back seat, offering the tissues to you.

You take them weakly. “Thank you...” you whisper, though your voice is barely audible over your quiet sobs. The kindness only makes you cry harder, and you clutch the tissues tightly, using them to wipe your face.

The throbbing stitches on your forehead and the sting of the cut on your hand are nothing compared to the fire raging in your chest. Every breath feels like a struggle as your mind replays the last few minutes over and over again.

What just happened? How did it come to this? How could someone who held you so gently let you go so forcefully?

You sit there trembling in the backseat, tears streaming down your face as the weight of it all crashes down on you. The faint hum of the car engine fades into the background as your thoughts spiral, mourning the loss of something that burned so brightly yet lasted so briefly.

Your hands clutch the tissues the driver gave you as the trembling in your fingers betrays your fragile state. You try to understand Jungkook... his guilt, his torment. You try to make sense of his words, of his actions. But no matter how hard you try, you can’t understand why he thinks this is the solution when it so clearly isn’t.

Why couldn’t he just hold you tonight? Why couldn’t he just ease your fears instead of letting his own guilt push you away?

The questions churn in your mind, each one cutting deeper than the last. Your chest feels tight, every breath a battle as you remember the look on his face... the way he couldn’t even meet your eyes, the way he chose to make you leave instead of trying to comfort you.

After the day you’d had, the chaos, the fear, the pain, all you wanted was him. You needed him to be there for you, to remind you that you weren’t alone, that things would be okay.

But instead, he let his guilt dictate his actions, and now here you are, alone in the backseat of a cab, the town lights casting fleeting shadows across your tear-streaked face. A bitter ache blooms in your chest, spreading through you like wildfire as the betrayal of his decision sinks in.

How could he not see what you needed? How could he think that leaving you like this... so harshly, so suddenly... was what would make you happy?

Your trembling grows worse, your body reacting to the storm inside you as the cab continues its journey through the quiet streets. You don’t even notice the driver’s occasional glances of concern anymore... you’re too lost in your thoughts, replaying every moment, every word, every touch that led to this point.

Meanwhile, Jungkook barely makes it inside his apartment before his knees give out the second he enters. Sliding down against the door, he collapses, his body trembling as sobs tear through him.

For the first time in years, he lets himself break completely. The sound is raw, jagged, his cries dragging painfully through his throat as he struggles to catch his breath.

The weight of his actions crashes over him, bitter and relentless, like thorns piercing every corner of his soul. He hates himself, hates the choice he made, hates the pain he saw etched into your face as you looked at him, so fragile, so vulnerable.

But the guilt, the overwhelming culpability, feels even worse. He tells himself he did this for you, to protect you, to spare you from the chaos he seems to bring.

And yet, every fiber of his being aches for you, but to love you, he believes, comes at a cost... a cost that risks your peace, your safety.

And if he has to love you from a distance, from the shadows of a life apart, then so be it. He clings to that thought like a lifeline, convincing himself that this is what’s best, even as the emptiness gnaws at him.

For now, he decides, this is what is right. This is the sacrifice he must make.

//

You stay in bed, cocooned under the heavy blanket, clutching a pillow tightly to your chest as if it could somehow hold you together. The morning sky outside is gloomy, gray clouds mirroring the shallow darkness of your room.

Tears stream steadily down your face, your blocked nose and dry throat adding to the discomfort that seems to settle in your very bones.

Just fifteen minutes ago, Taehyung called, his voice warm and reassuring as he informed you that he and the others were already at your shop, overseeing the repair work. He told you not to worry, that everything would be taken care of. But honestly? Worrying about your shop is the last thing on your mind right now.

Because a shop can be fixed. It can be refurbished, repainted, and restored to what it once was. But your heart? That’s a different story. You’re not sure if this ache in your chest can be repaired, not after last night.

You haven’t slept a wink since the minute you got home. The blanket feels suffocating yet necessary, the only thing holding you together against the cold mattress beneath. You sniffle, burying your face deeper into the pillow, as if it could absorb the emotions tearing you apart.

Jungkook. His name, his face, his voice... it’s all you can think about. The way he looked at you, the way he slammed the cab door shut, and the way he didn’t look up once as the cab drove away. It’s like a cruel replay in your mind, over and over, until it physically hurts.

You’re sad. You’re angry. You’re confused. You’re everything at once, and it’s overwhelming. Part of you wants to scream at him, to yell and demand answers about his cruel decision.

The other part of you aches for him, misses him with an intensity you can’t describe. It’s a mess... a tangled, aching mess. And all you can do is lie there, tears soaking into the pillow, as the weight of it all crashes over you again and again.

Hours stretch endlessly, a haze of grief and exhaustion anchoring you to the bed. You feel lifeless, too weak to eat, to shower, even to redress your wounds.

The world outside darkens, shadows spilling into your room as the sky shifts to twilight. By now, your cheeks are dry, though your eyes burn from endless tears, and your body feels heavy, hollow, like a corpse waiting to be claimed.

You never thought you’d be like this over someone.

But this is Jungkook.

The realization hits you, sharp and painful, as the weight of his absence settles like a boulder in your chest. He means so much to you, more than you even allowed yourself to admit before.

This unrelenting ache, this unbearable toll... it's the answer to a question you never thought to ask yourself. You never imagined you could be so consumed by the loss of someone, so utterly dismantled.

With a sudden surge of determination, you sit up abruptly. Your hair is disheveled, and your shirt hangs loosely off your shoulder, but you don’t care. You can’t just sit here, drowning in sorrow because of his hasty, senseless decision. This isn’t fair... not to him, not to you.

He doesn’t get to walk away like this. He doesn’t get to make this choice alone, to break something that doesn’t deserve to be broken.

You need to see him.

You need to tell him everything... the hurt, the love, the anger, the ache. You need closure. You need to fight for this, for him, for yourself.

Hastily, you climb off the bed, the disheveled sheets a testament to your restless hours. You don’t care about the mess, your tear-streaked face, or the wild tangle of your hair.

The thought of fixing yourself up doesn’t even cross your mind. You grab your sandals with trembling hands, slipping them on in such a rush that you don’t even notice they’re both on the wrong feet, and storm out the front door without a second thought.

The cold evening air bites at your skin as you run, your breath puffing in small clouds in front of you. But you don’t stop. You can’t stop. Your heart pounds with every step, driven by an urgency that blocks out everything else.

When you finally near your shop, you catch a glimpse of workers moving about, carrying tools and materials. Taehyung’s voice echoes faintly as he supervises the repairs, but you barely register it. Your focus is locked on the shop next door.

The lights are still on.

Without hesitation, you stride to the entrance. Your hands tremble as you grip the door handle, pushing it open with more force than necessary.

Jungkook stands behind the counter, busy with a crumpled receipt in his hand. The moment you step inside, his head snaps up, eyes widening at your sudden, unannounced presence.

He looks startled, unprepared, but you don’t stop. Your steps are uneven, your breathing labored, and the weight of everything you’ve been holding in presses down on you as you approach him.

“You think you can just walk away from everything? From me? From us?” Your voice cuts through the silence, trembling yet forceful, raw with emotion.

Jungkook freezes, his face unreadable, but his eyes betray him. They scan you slowly, taking in the worn-out t-shirt slipping off your shoulder, the wrinkled sweatpants clinging to your frame, and the mismatched sandals on your feet.

You look disheveled, undone... but it’s the tear-streaked face and red, swollen eyes that hit him the hardest.

“You want to take the blame for everything?” you cry, your voice growing louder as the pain spills out. “Fine, Jungkook! Take the blame. Be the hero. But guess what? Walking away doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t fix me, it doesn’t fix you, and it sure as hell doesn’t fix whatever you think you’re protecting me from!”

Your voice cracks, and you clutch your chest as though trying to hold your heart together before it shatters completely.

“I needed you…” The sob tears its way out of you, your voice breaking as tears stream down your cheeks. “I needed you, Jungkook. Yesterday, I was… I was so fucking scared… I thought I was going to lose my mind. I thought—” You falter, struggling to find the words, but push through. “I thought you’d be there for me. I thought you’d hold me and tell me it was going to be okay. But you—”

Your voice wavers, anger seeping into your tone as you glare at him through the tears. “You didn’t show up. You shut me out, and when I came to find you, you wouldn’t even look at me. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you just decided to force me to leave and then walk away? How could you do that? How could you just… be so... so harsh?"

Jungkook’s jaw tightens, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard. But he doesn’t say a word. He just stands there, rooted in place, his guilt and anguish written all over his face as he sees you unravelling.

“You think this makes you noble?” you shout, your voice rising with every word. “You think breaking me like this is some grand gesture of love? Newsflash, Jungkook... it’s not! You can’t just destroy someone in the name of protecting them!”

Your fists clench at your sides as you step closer, standing right in front of him. “You say you want to protect me, but do you even realize what you’re doing to me? You’re killing me, Jungkook. Every second without you feels like I’m being ripped apart, piece by piece.”

Your fists come up, weak and shaky, and you hit his chest... not to hurt him, but because you don’t know what else to do with the storm raging inside you. “You’re a coward.” you sob, hitting him again. “You’re such a jerk!”

“Such…” Another hit.

“A…” And another.

“Jerk!”

Your hands fall limp against his chest, and your tears flow harder. “I can’t do this...” you whisper, shaking your head as your voice trembles. “I can’t keep pretending I’m okay when I’m not. You’re breaking me, Jungkook. You’re breaking me, and I don’t know how to stop it.”

You clutch the fabric of his shirt, your hands trembling, your forehead pressed desperately against his chest. “I love you…” you sob, the words breaking free before you can stop them. “I love you so much it hurts. And you—” your voice cracks as you pause, choking on your tears.

Jungkook’s breath catches in his throat, the sound sharp and pained. You said it. You said the very words he’s been carrying on the tip of his tongue for what feels like forever.

Usually, this should’ve been a moment of joy, a moment where the world stood still in happiness, but instead, it’s devastating.

He should’ve been the one to say it first, to hold you close and profess the depths of his love without hesitation. But now, here you are, unraveling in front of him.

The words fall from your lips not as a declaration but as a plea, a raw, desperate attempt to keep from losing everything. He feels the weight of your emotions, the depth of your vulnerability, and it cuts him deeper than he thought possible.

In another life, another time, those words would have lit up his world. But here and now, they tear him apart because they come wrapped in heartbreak, in the unbearable fragility of this moment.

Your voice softens into a trembling whisper, heavy with anguish. “You’re just standing there, letting me fall apart. I don’t understand why. I don’t understand how you can do this to us.”

The silence that follows is unbearable, suffocating in its weight. Jungkook doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

His silence presses down on you, crushing and unrelenting, until it feels like the very air between you has turned into a barrier you can’t break through.

You let out a bitter, broken laugh, shaking your head as you take a step back. “You can’t even say anything, can you? You can’t even tell me why you’re doing this.”

Your chest heaves as you draw in a shaky breath. “You know what, Jungkook? If you want to be a coward, then just be one. If this is how you think love works… if this is all you’re capable of… then maybe I was wrong about you all along.”

The words hang heavy in the air, sharp and cutting. You see him flinch, but you don’t stop.

“You’re selfish. You’re nothing but a scared little boy who runs the moment things get hard. So go ahead, Jungkook. Walk away. But don’t you dare think you’re doing this for me. You’re doing this because you’re too much of a coward to fight for what really matters.”

Your voice cracks, and without waiting for a response, you turn and storm out of the shop. The cold air hits your face, but you don’t stop walking, your tears blurring the path ahead.

Jungkook stands frozen in the middle of the shop, the silence suffocating. His hands shake as they curl into fists at his sides, your words reverberating in his mind.

A soft cough breaks the stillness. Yoongi steps out of the storeroom, hands shoved into his pockets as he leans against the doorframe. He watches Jungkook for a moment, the tears streaming down his face and the turmoil etched into his features.

“Didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” Yoongi mutters as he steps into the room, his tone calm but cutting. His sharp eyes land on Jungkook, who remains frozen, staring at the door you just stormed out of. “But… damn, Kook, you really outdid yourself this time.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer. His chest feels like it’s caving in, each breath heavier than the last as your words echo relentlessly in his mind. Yoongi sighs, stepping closer, the sound of his boots faint against the shop’s worn floor.

“You’re a goddamn idiot.” Yoongi says, though his voice carries no malice... just weariness, disappointment. “There’s a fine line between protecting someone and pushing them away, and you’re not walking that line. You’re sprinting straight into the void.”

Jungkook’s jaw tightens, his shoulders slumping under the weight of Yoongi’s words.

“So let me get this straight...” Yoongi continues, his tone sharper now. “You fought Mingyu yesterday, got yourself beat to hell, didn’t visit her... didn’t even check on her... knowing she was hurt. You let her come all the way to your place, injured and worried, and then you forced her to leave... just so you could throw more salt into her wounds?”

Jungkook flinches, guilt painted across his face.

“And for what, huh? What did you think you’d accomplish?” Yoongi demands, stepping closer. “What did you think you’d prove by punching a guy who thrives off chaos? Mingyu? That bastard doesn’t give a fuck. He won’t change.”

“I—” Jungkook starts, but Yoongi cuts him off with a harsh laugh.

“No. Don’t give me excuses.” Yoongi snaps, his calm exterior cracking just enough to show the frustration bubbling underneath. “I’ve known you long enough to see through that. Just tell me... what the hell did you think would happen after fighting that motherfucker?”

Jungkook’s voice is barely above a whisper. “He said he’d leave her alone if I gave him my bike.”

Yoongi freezes, his brow furrowing as the words sink in. “Your bike?” he repeats slowly, the disbelief clear. “You gave up your bike to that scumbag?”

Jungkook nods, shame pulling his head down like a weight.

Yoongi exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair as realization dawns. “So that’s why you came walking to the shop today? You actually gave it to him?”

Another nod.

“Unbelievable.” Yoongi groans, leaning heavily against the counter. He closes his eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking at Jungkook again. “You’re the most self-sacrificing fool I’ve ever met.”

Jungkook sniffs, wiping his face with the back of his hand, but Yoongi isn’t done.

"You think giving up your bike was noble? Maybe it was. But do you think it made her feel any less hurt? Less abandoned? Less... unloved?” Yoongi’s voice softens, though his words remain as sharp as ever. “Because that’s what this all boils down to, doesn’t it? You think hurting yourself makes you the hero of this story.”

Jungkook looks up at him, eyes rimmed red. “He said he’d leave her alone.” he whispers, his voice trembling. “He said if I gave him my bike, he’d back off.” he tries to prove his point.

Yoongi sighs, disbelief clouding his face. “And you believed him?”

Jungkook looks down, shame pulling his head lower again. “I just wanted her to be safe.”

“You think safety is all she needs ?!” Yoongi’s voice rises, his frustration spilling over. “Jungkook, you don’t love someone by giving them walls to live behind. You love them by standing beside them, even when it’s hard.... especially when it’s hard.”

Yoongi exhales sharply, his frustration barely contained. “You’ve got a good heart, Kook, but you’re an idiot when it comes to love. You think hurting yourself makes you some kind of hero, but all it does is make her feel more alone. And you? You look like a coward. Because that’s what you’re doing... running. Hiding behind guilt and these grand gestures no one asked for.”

Jungkook tries to speak, but Yoongi cuts him off with a sharp glare.

“You need to stop running, Kook.” Yoongi says, his voice firm but laced with an odd gentleness. “You’ve been running ever since the moment you realized you liked her. Afraid to show her the depth of it. Afraid to let her see you vulnerable. And what has it gotten you? Nothing but pain.”

Jungkook swallows hard, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I just... don't want her to get hurt again...” he murmurs, his voice cracking.

“And yet, you hurt her yourself.” Yoongi counters softly. “Look, I get it. Love is messy. It’s terrifying. But it’s also the only thing worth fighting for. And not with your fists, Kook. With your heart.”

Jungkook’s tears spill over, his hands trembling at his sides. Yoongi steps closer, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “You’ve got one chance to make this right.” he says. “Stop thinking about how to protect her and start thinking about how to be there for her. She doesn’t need a savior. She needs you.”

Yoongi lets the silence linger for a moment before sighing and straightening up.

“Also… about your bike...” he adds, his tone softening slightly. “I’ll take care of that. You? All you need to think about is how to make it up to Y/n. If you really don’t want to lose her, Kook, you need to fix this.”

Jungkook looks up at him, a flicker of hope mixed with despair in his watery eyes. Yoongi squeezes his shoulder once more before stepping back, his gaze steady and unwavering.

"Love isn’t supposed to be easy." Yoongi says quietly, his voice steady and resolute. "But it’s worth every damn scar. Don’t run away from it, Kook. Don’t throw it away just because it’s hard."

<- part 14 // final ->

series masterlist

taglist:@kimyishin @ghijkd @dolligguk @mimi1097 @jksusawife @yooforeaa @abbie1847 @myjungkookthighs @thesarcasmqueen-22 @fairypjminie @lovelytaes-blog @jjeonjjk7 @daddyjeonnn @vantelover1306 @jeeykey @shellyyy177 @daskewl @blackswan18 @korian97 @minimoninini @ericawantstoescape @rpwprpwprpwprw @tokkiggukie @jaytheatiny

[taexual]

sleepwalking ● 15 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.

genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers

warnings: explicit language, SLOW BURN, ANGST (including some miscommunication due to alcohol & descriptions of anxiety)

words: 10.9k

read from the beginning ○ masterlist

chapter 15 ► i had the whole damn world and i gave it all away, what did i think i would save?

Waking up on a good day was not a pleasant experience for Jungkook. But waking up that morning in Tilburg felt a bit like having his brain pulled out through his nose with a metal hook.

The bus was dim—was he on the bus? How did he get here in the first place?—and the slightest light coming from the skylight made his eyes sting. His head seemed to split in two, and his whole body felt as if he had deliberately allowed a lawnmower to run over him.

So this was a hangover, then.

He hadn’t had many of those in his life, which of course, did not indicate how often he drank. Maybe he had lost his ability to drink without getting really drunk. Or maybe he drank so much that even this ability wasn’t enough.

“You awake?” a voice asked, and the kaleidoscope of sharp echoes in Jungkook’s head forced him to retreat further into his bunk.

“Why,” he uttered, each word like fire in his parched mouth, “would you yell?”

A chuckle in response helped him identify the speaker as Hoseok.

“You’re the only one still sleeping. Everyone else is getting pancakes for breakfast,” he said. “Do you want to know what ‘pancake batter’ is in Dutch? Word on the street is, pronouncing it three times in front of the mirror will kill you.”

“I will kill you,” Jungkook retorted, “unless you can bring me some water. Please?”

Amused, Hoseok walked to the back of the bus where the mini-fridge was. He grabbed a bottle and brought it to the younger member before settling on the edge of his bunk.

“Here,” he said. “Why’d you drink so much last night in any case?”

It took incredible effort for Jungkook to sit up, but he managed—while groaning and moaning, and glaring at Hoseok each time the older boy chuckled at his exaggerated struggle.

Jungkook took the water bottle and emptied half of it in one gulp, but it didn’t make much of a difference. The bitter aftertaste lingered in his mouth, and every word he spoke still felt like acid.

“I can’t remember,” he said, even though something inside of him told him that this wasn’t true. Apart from the pain, he also felt this heavy unease—as if he had an apocalyptic event scheduled for this afternoon, and he needed to prepare for it, hence the excessive drinking. “I’m sure I had a reason.”

Hoseok assumed as much and he asked, “did something happen?”

“I—” Jungkook interrupted himself when he threw his head back to finish the rest of the water. This didn’t help either, and now his stomach felt uncomfortably heavy. He said again, “I don’t know. Can’t remember.”

“I saw you leave the venue with—”

“I remember that,” he said quickly as if he was afraid to hear the conclusions Hoseok had drawn after seeing him leave with you.

“Where’d you two go?” Hoseok asked.

“To this park,” Jungkook said, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing the bridge of his nose with two fingers as he tried to bring last night back to him. He remembered kissing you. Unless he’d dreamt that, of course. Both options were likely. Neither was acceptable to say out loud. Weakly, he continued, “uh… I don’t really—we talked there.”

Since Hoseok did not know what had really happened between you and Jungkook at that park, he followed up with the logical question, “did you have a fight?”

“No, we…” Jungkook sighed. Another memory returned, this one more vivid than the kiss he thought he remembered—which was a shame. He would have preferred the kiss. He opened his eyes and looked at Hoseok questioningly, “Namjoon called her. Yoongi’s laptop?”

“Ah, yeah.” The older boy laughed. “They went to McDonald’s and left it there. Then they got so wasted, they forgot about it.”

Jungkook snorted weakly. “Idiots.”

It gave him great pleasure to say the word, because for once, it wasn’t him who was being described here.

“Just like you, huh?” Hoseok teased nonetheless. “Seems like everyone had a reason to drink last night.”

Jungkook ignored the gentle jab and focused on remembering you.

“Did you see her this morning?” he asked.

Hoseok nodded.

“Did she seem angry?” Jungkook continued, hoping for a clue about the rest of the night. The last thing he seemed to remember was the truck stop. He was alone in his memory, but he assumed that was because you hadn’t returned from finding the missing laptop yet.

Jungkook didn’t think you had gone drinking with him last night; he seemed to remember—or just assumed—that you had left before he got drunk. And he realised that he knew why he got drunk – he was worried about the bet and how he would tell you.

He thought he remembered talking to someone about this last night, but it couldn’t have been you, because he recalled being called “son.” It must have been someone else at the bar, then. Maybe the bartender.

But what happened afterwards? Did his chest hurt so much because he still hadn’t told you?

“No. She didn’t seem angry,” Hoseok said. “But she’s never angry with me because I never give her a reason to be.”

The teasing smile on the older member’s face made Jungkook grimace. “Good for you.”

Hoseok chuckled because he didn’t get to see Jungkook like this often. Usually, the entire band was wiped out with a cursed hangover, and Jungkook was the one obnoxious ray of sunshine in the room. Hoseok and the others always thought this was unfair. Clearly, this morning was a welcome change.

“She seemed okay,” Hoseok said. Then, more seriously, he asked, “you think you did something? Besides getting drunk, I mean.”

The younger boy exhaled and watched the bedding on his bunk for a minute. It was black and seemed even darker in the shadow inside the bus. It did nothing whatsoever to jog his memory.

He was worried that he had done something very terrible. Not worse than having made the bet in the first place, but terrible nonetheless.

What if he’d missed his chance to tell you and someone else had told you first? Probably not Sid, because he may have been an absolute dickhead, but he needed to win the bet fairly to be satisfied. But what if—

Taehyung, he thought suddenly.

Taehyung knew. What if he’d found you while Jungkook was in the bar?

You tell her or I will, Taehyung had said to him back in Amsterdam.

What if he had told you everything because he couldn’t bear to keep it to himself any longer?

Jungkook had seen how distressed the bassist was. He had noticed how he kept avoiding his eyes when they were in the same room.

Groaning, Jungkook pressed his palms to his forehead and strained to remember something. Did he talk to you after you returned with the laptop? What did he say? More importantly, what did you say that left him half-paralysed with this unidentified worry?

“I… don’t really…” Jungkook tried to cling to a memory and see what happened next, but his thoughts remained muddled. Did he kiss you in the park before or after you told him about your parents’ tumultuous relationship?

“Did you drink together?” Hoseok enquired, slipping into investigator mode as he crossed his legs on Jungkook’s bunk. He thought he was being helpful, but Jungkook felt pressured into giving answers that wouldn’t reveal too much—you’d rubbed off on him, he supposed. Or maybe he just didn’t want to upset you any more than he may have already had. “Or did you get drunk after she left to find the laptop?”

“After. I think,” Jungkook said. “I was driving before.”

“Driving?” Hoseok repeated, visibly surprised.

Jungkook waved his hand dismissively. “Long story.”

Hoseok noticed that Jungkook was struggling to speak in longer sentences, as evidenced by his colourless face as he shrank away from the skylight. He decided to quit questioning, assuming it was a hangover that plagued the younger boy.

Instead, he shared his last memory, hoping it would be helpful: “I think I heard you come back. At about nine.”

It was not helpful.

Jungkook frowned and asked, “you were already awake?”

“Well, Namjoon and Yoongi caused a scene on the bus earlier,” Hoseok explained, shrugging one of his shoulders. “They woke everyone up and I couldn’t really fall asleep after that.”

“Oh.”

“But I can’t help you with anything else. Sorry,” he said, biting his lip. “Maybe once your hangover wears off, you’ll remember.”

Jungkook lowered his head because it started to burn when he attempted to shake it in response.

Stubbornly, he mumbled, “I’m never hungover.”

Hoseok was about to laugh but he managed to contain it to a soft snicker. “Well, you’re hungover now, so I don’t know what to tell you.”

“What time is it?” Jungkook asked.

Hoseok had to check his phone first.

“Eleven,” he said.

“Eleven?” Jungkook repeated, his mind fighting against him as he tried to piece the timeline together. “I only slept for… if you saw me at nine, then I only slept for—wait, and you said you hadn’t slept at all?”

Hoseok shook his head, but looking at his phone had distracted him. Truthfully, he hadn’t told Jungkook everything he knew.

He had seen Minjun half-carrying a drunk Jungkook onto the bus at around eight-forty this morning. Hoseok remembered the time because his phone had died about a minute later, and he didn’t get to finish the Falling in Reverse album that he had been listening to on a loop that night.

Minjun’s presence might have sparked a memory, but Hoseok decided not to mention it. He preferred it when Jungkook’s friends weren’t involved in the situations that Jungkook seemed to have forgotten about, and he didn’t want the younger boy to go looking for said friends right away.

“Get something to eat,” Hoseok said, getting up from the bunk. “Pancakes. That’ll help you.”

Eating didn’t sound terrible, but it wasn’t that easy. For one thing, standing up seemed almost like a Herculean task right now—Jungkook was only slightly exaggerating here: he could extend a hand. But a leg? Not so much. And walking was probably completely out of the question.

“Yeah, fine,” he said as he lowered himself face-down onto the mattress, preparing to get out of the bunk—either by crawling or rolling out. “But I need to wash up a bit first. Somehow.”

“Yeah, that’d probably be good,” Hoseok agreed. “You reek of a bar.”

Jungkook glared—more at his pillow than at Hoseok—and mumbled, “thanks for the help.”

“Anytime!” Hoseok said with his usual good-natured laugh. He watched Jungkook try to stand and decided that the younger boy had brought this on himself, so it would do him good to find a way out himself, too. Approaching the door of the bus, Hoseok added, “I’ll wait for you outside. Don’t hurt yourself!”

Straining and grunting, Jungkook managed to wash up, despite his almost unbearable headache and the cramped bathroom of the bus—it was, really, just a toilet and the smallest sink imaginable. He slammed his knees into the wall twice and kicked himself in the shins one and a half times.

He could still taste the whiskey in his mouth, and he thought he could still smell it on himself as well—he’d need a proper shower, maybe several, to get rid of that—but he felt a little better. The improvement was barely noticeable, but it was there, and he got off the bus with a lighter step.

He wondered if the restaurant outside only served pancakes, as Hoseok had advertised, or if they were also prepared to make some other dishes, such as the greasiest, oiliest chicken possible.

When he got off the bus, hoping to find out, he first spotted Hoseok who was lifting his chin and pointing forward, gesturing for him to go on.

Jungkook turned his head and immediately saw you standing right at the entrance of the restaurant. He forgot all about Hoseok and the food.

Right away, he felt an odd sensation in his stomach; something that transcended worry and turned into outright terror. He watched you for a minute, almost petrified. His feet refused to budge as if his body remembered last night better than his mind.

You noticed him in the middle of your conversation with Luna. You saw him freeze first, then eventually start to walk towards you. Right after your eyes met, you looked back at Luna briefly and turned to enter the restaurant without a second glance in his direction.

This was, of course, hardly the reaction Jungkook had been hoping for because one of your last interactions that he could remember with questionable certainty was a kiss.

The horror inside him grew. Something must have really happened last night—something so horrible that his mind chose to drown in alcohol rather than remember it.

Maybe he had found you after Taehyung had talked to you last night, and he’d attempted to make amends, but he was too drunk to tell you everything he needed to tell you…

He had to find out. He had to fix it.

Jungkook walked past Luna, gave her a quick nod hello—and cringed in pain when he moved his head, therefore missing the glare she gave him—and went in after you.

He called out your name, then touched your shoulder. You turned around very slowly, almost reluctantly. He suspected that if he hadn’t touched you, you would have ignored him altogether.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

You gave him one look – maybe even less than that – and turned away, taking a small step to the side to escape his touch.

Before you looked away, it seemed to him that you hadn’t slept at all. He knew you well enough to recognise that. He also knew you well enough to recognise the obvious disapproval on your face—as if you were talking to Sid and not him.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

What happened last night?

“I don’t have time,” you finally said, and his panic deepened.

“Please?” he asked, trailing behind you as you walked towards a table by the window in the farthest corner from the entrance. You’d chosen it as your workspace, but Luna had persuaded you to have breakfast with her and the boys first.

Right away, Jungkook spotted Taehyung, Luna and Yoongi on the other side of the restaurant—all three of them were watching Jungkook follow you.

“I appreciate the manners,” you said as you walked, “but I still don’t have time.”

Close to despair, he whispered—as if your friends could overhear your conversation from across the room, “d-did something happen last night?”

This finally made you turn around and look at him.

Suddenly, he wished you hadn’t.

There was a look in your eyes that reminded him of something. He couldn’t quite place that look, but he felt his chest tighten so much that his heart could barely fit inside, the beating violent and terrified.

It wasn’t anger that he saw when he looked at you. It wasn’t contempt, either. Nor disgust, nor revulsion—it wasn’t anything he had expected to see.

It was a weary disappointment—as if you had been worried about something for a long time, but still hoped it wouldn’t happen, and it did. It happened. And Jungkook realised in horror that he was probably what you were worried about.

“No,” you said, deciding that it wouldn’t do either of you any good to argue here. It scared him, this split-second decision that you made. He wanted you to shout at him, he wanted to see the fire in your eyes. He was afraid of the emptiness he found in them instead. You finished, “nothing significant happened at all. Not last night, or any night before.”

Your words disturbed him. It sounded—and his head began to pound much harder than his heart—like you were talking about all these weeks in Europe. All that the two of you had done together.

He swallowed the concern on his tongue. He still felt half-drunk and three-quarters hungover, so he didn’t know if the assumptions he was making were a result of a hangover paranoia or if he’d interpreted everything you’d said correctly. Honestly, he didn’t even want to know. But he had to ask.

“W-what is that supposed to mean?”

He realised he was clinging onto a tiny, pitiful hope that he’d seen the look in your eyes in a distant nightmare and not right in front of him at the truck stop last night. It seemed more and more unlikely the longer that he waited for you to speak, but while he breathed, he hoped.

“It’s supposed to mean that you need to get something to eat and join the rest of your band,” you said, picking up your coffee cup from the table next to you. Jungkook noticed that there was nothing else on it, just a stack of papers, your laptop, and your phone. “I have work to do.”

Suddenly, he wanted to pause this uncomfortable exchange where the two of you stayed quiet about more things than you expressed. He wanted to tell you that it was you who should have got something to eat. He wanted to remind you not to overwork yourself.

But the way you looked at him was an alarming indication that it wasn’t his place to say these things to you anymore.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck—

“Did you…” Jungkook tried to choose his words carefully. “Did you talk to someone last night? After we got back from the park, I mean?”

You looked startled somehow as you swallowed your coffee and set the empty cup down. Then you gave him a smile with not one bit of humour or kindness behind it, and he felt the skin on the back of his neck prickle with horror.

You did talk to someone. And he made the mistake of asking who it was.

“I didn’t talk to anyone important,” you finally said.

That was enough to confirm all of his foreboding senses.

“You know,” he concluded breathlessly.

Looking away instead of acknowledging his vague—but obviously correct—statement, you picked up your belongings from the table.

“I know enough to see that you need to eat and then sleep this off,” you said. “You smell like a bottle of Jack Daniels.”

You tried to walk past him, but Jungkook moved to block your way.

“Who told you?” he pressed.

You raised your eyebrows at the question.

“Are you—okay.” You closed your eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. You tried to phrase your next words as tactfully as possible, aware that you would have a large audience if you raised your voice here. “It’s a little mind-blowing to me that you think the issue here is who told me. And it’s a lot mind-blowing that you dare to ask me that.”

Uncomfortable under your affronted gaze, Jungkook blinked and looked away. His heavy head was slowly dragging him to the floor, and he leaned against the table for more support.

“I—I’m really sorry,” he said, not daring to look at you again because the emptiness in your eyes was so discomfiting that it felt almost unnatural. He realised, painfully, that he’d taken all of your timid glances for granted. He missed them now—so much.

But as soon as the apology was out of his mouth, he immediately remembered that he had said the exact same words to you. Unfortunately, he had said them to you many times before.

This could have been déjà vu.

It could have been a memory from weeks ago.

But it also could have been a memory from last night.

Now you were hesitating. You didn’t know what he was apologising for specifically, and you suspected that he didn’t know, either. Then you finally nodded your head.

Jungkook worried that you’d come to a decision—a final one, to make up for all the previous times you’d claimed this was final but hadn’t meant it.

Now you looked like you meant it.

You didn’t offer him any relief from his misery and gave him no hints of what had happened after you returned from the park.

Instead, you said, “eat something,” and walked around him.

He didn’t stop you this time. He knew he couldn’t.

But he also knew that he would find you as soon as he figured out how you discovered the truth and whether he talked to you after that.

You joined Yoongi, Taehyung, and Luna at a table in the annexe of the pancake restaurant, right next to a wall-sized window with a view of the vast, completely empty fields of green behind the building.

“Everything okay?” Luna asked as you sat down in the remaining empty chair by the table, next to Yoongi.

You were uncomfortable with everyone’s eyes on you. You knew they’d witnessed the exchange you’d just shared with Jungkook, but you didn’t know what they thought they saw.

“Absolutely,” you replied in a manner so manufactured that they could all tell it was insincere.

While you pretended to be interested in the food that your friends had ordered for you, Yoongi glanced at everyone by the table one after the other.

“Is, uh, something wrong?” he asked, fixing his gaze on you. “With Jungkook?”

“No,” you said. Again, with a noticeable bitterness. “Some tension, that’s all.”

Yoongi was still processing your revelation about Reconnaissance. Yesterday, he had told you that you didn’t have to tell anyone else about it, but he wasn’t sure if he’d really meant it. He assumed you could guess as much. And now he was starting to think that you’d told Jungkook about it, after all.

Carefully, he asked, “did Jungkook get mad at you for not telling him about… things?”

Yoongi wasn’t very good at being discreet. You saw Taehyung frown as he looked up at you.

Taehyung was understandably confused. He thought it was Jungkook who hadn’t told you “things.” Why would he be the one getting mad?

“No,” you said to Yoongi. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be mad here. But it’s fine. I just—I’m not even—I just need a minute.”

Huh, Taehyung thought to himself as he continued to eat in silence. You were obviously seething. Something must have happened.

He had suspected that Jungkook was going to tell you last night when the two of you left together (and, naturally, Taehyung went to find Luna right after witnessing your exit, so he could finally calm himself down). But if Jungkook told you—what the hell was Yoongi on about?

“Well, wait a second,” Yoongi pushed, also very confused. “What do you mean? Why are you mad?”

To him, it seemed like you were prepared to handle the news about Reconnaissance on your own. He thought it was possible that Jungkook had reacted very negatively when you told him and he’d said something upsetting. He knew the vocalist would be unhappy if he found out that you were getting offers to leave Rated Riot.

That would explain—sort of—your emotions. And if that was the case, Yoongi was prepared to interfere.

“Did he say something to you?” he asked. “If he’s upset about this… possibility, then I can talk—”

“Yoongi,” Luna cut in with a rushed whisper. “I don’t think this is about Reconnaissance.”

She was quick to figure out that you had told Yoongi about Nick’s offer—it wasn’t difficult, considering Yoongi was about as vague as a treasure map with a giant X on it. She wanted him to drop the topic before you were forced to admit that this was actually about Jungkook’s bet.

Luna could tell from your body language when you saw Jungkook—and from the way you were about to bend the fork in your hand right now—that you finally knew about the bet, too.

Taehyung, on the other hand, remained simply baffled.

He knew about the bet, sure. But he looked up from his plate again, and correctly guessed from the frowns on everyone’s faces that he was the only one who did not know about this Reconnaissance business that Luna had just mentioned.

“Reconnaissance?” he asked. “What about Reconnaissance?”

He appeared to enjoy saying the band’s name and seemed oblivious to your cringing every time he said it.

You looked up at Luna first—her eyes were wide as she realised that she shouldn’t have mentioned the band outright. To make matters worse, it suddenly occurred to her that you didn’t know that she and Taehyung knew about the bet, so you must have been confused as to why she would divert the topic so suddenly and plunge you straight into a different awkward conversation.

But before she could apologise, you turned to Yoongi, who lowered his head as soon as he met your eyes. He realised that he couldn’t ask Luna what she’d meant—what else could you and Jungkook argue about?—because there was a more important discussion waiting to happen.

You cleared your throat.

“Nothing important,” you finally said. “Their manager contacted me the other day about an open position in their staff, but I told him I wasn’t interested. I mentioned this to, uh—to Luna. And to Yoongi, too, a few days ago.”

You chose not to reveal that Maggie and Namjoon also knew about this, so Taehyung wouldn’t feel as left out as you assumed you had just made him feel.

There were several things that Taehyung struggled to process here. He tried to look at his girlfriend for help first, but Luna purposefully made herself busy by drinking her orange juice. Then he glanced over at his bandmate, but Yoongi turned his entire body away from him to look out the window.

Clearly, neither one of them wanted to explain why they weren’t questioning you about this, so it took Taehyung a minute to find his words.

“But this is…” he started, then paused. “It’s big!”

“Yeah, I—well, you know,” you said while knowing that he didn’t know. You felt guilty and uncomfortable having to explain this right after he found out that you’d kept it from him. “I-I’m happy here. I like what I do. I would—I’d have far less responsibility, but a lot more pressure if I went to work with them.”

Taehyung considered this.

“It would be a great opportunity, t-that’s true,” you added, sounding increasingly uncertain as you spoke. “They’re million-dollar sellers. But I don’t—I want to reach that level with you guys. Not join someone who’s already at the top. Where’s the fun in that?”

You smiled as you finished, hoping to soften the impact of the news. Taehyung finally allowed his muscles to relax a little as he leaned back in his seat and took a sip of his iced tea.

“I see,” he said, placing the glass back on the table. “Okay. So, you’re staying. Right?”

You were on the verge of responding—because you thought you’d just be repeating yourself again—but then you stopped.

You said you were happy here.

You said you weren’t interested in leaving.

But you didn’t, technically, say that you were staying.

You’d said it to Maggie and Luna, and then to Yoongi and Namjoon. But that was before you allowed yourself to confront your feelings for Jungkook while he just tried to win a bet against Sid.

And now you were hesitating.

When you eventually nodded, the assurance from your lips sounded far less convincing. “Mhmm. Yes.”

Silence settled at the table until Luna, still feeling guilty about the slip-up (she would apologise to you as soon as the boys were out of earshot), changed the topic to something completely unrelated: namely the sights she thought would be interesting to see once you were in London.

You hoped to avoid discussing Reconnaissance again, but Nick’s offer had suddenly gained more weight in your mind.

As you returned to your designated workspace after breakfast, you remembered the pros and cons list that Maggie had suggested back in Oslo.

The pros of leaving Rated Riot and joining Reconnaissance had expanded dangerously following your conversation with Jungkook last night.

You worried. You didn’t think you would actually leave, at least not just because of this ridiculous bet. But the more you thought about it—and the more you remembered that Jungkook’s friends were right around here somewhere—the more you couldn’t help it.

Would it really be so terrible to continue your career with a band that had a massive following and did not have your ex-boyfriend as a member, and his good-for-nothing friends as a persistent shadow?

Contrary to what Hoseok had promised and what he had expected himself, eating didn’t make Jungkook feel better. If anything, it only made him feel more irritated.

As he mindlessly chewed the pancakes—which were probably delicious, really, but they tasted like napkins in his hungover mouth—he went over the conversation he’d just had with you.

Again, he arrived at the same conclusion: you knew about the bet.

But everything else in his mind was speculation.

He might have talked to you after you found out, and he might not have handled it very well.

He might not have talked to you after you found out, which was just as bad.

He realised then, with a sinking feeling in his cotton-filled stomach, that he might have also been the one who told you about it.

That would have almost been good, he’d meant to tell you—but when he was sober. And, ideally, without forgetting about it the next day.

He hoped desperately that this wasn’t what had happened. But he needed to know for certain.

He had concluded earlier that only one other person could have talked to you about this, so he pushed his plate away and looked around.

He didn’t spot Taehyung here anymore. But Luna was standing by the cash register.

He stood up and approached her right away.

She didn’t look particularly pleased to talk to him, and Jungkook quickly surmised that she knew about the bet, too. He fully expected this since Taehyung considered her mind an extension of his own. Now, Jungkook thought, he had even more reasons to talk to him.

Luna informed him that Taehyung had felt tired and returned to the bus for a short nap. She said she was waiting to grab some dessert for him.

Jungkook couldn’t thank her for the information quickly enough.

Acting solely on instinct, he ran out of the restaurant, flung open the bus door, and marched inside. He was glad to see that the bus was empty except for Taehyung lying in his bunk.

“Did you tell her?!” Jungkook fired immediately. He wasn’t sure if he’d meant to sound so accusing—he was simply frantic to learn what was hiding in the dark spots of his memory.

Flinching at the sudden shouting that he managed to hear over his music, Taehyung opened his eyes and sat up. He paused the song on his phone and raised his eyes.

He didn’t have to ask what Jungkook meant.

“I didn’t tell her anything,” he said as he pulled his earpods out of his ears and slid them back into their case.

“I saw you talking to her after the show last night. Did you find her and tell her later?” Jungkook demanded through agitated, heavy breaths. “You were with her and Luna at the restaurant just now.”

“I didn’t see her after you left. And all I said to her after the show was that she should talk to you,” Taehyung explained, displaying more patience than most people would under the circumstances. “And I didn’t really talk to her much at the restaurant.”

Slowly—because he was fuming, and the entire bus was red—Jungkook accepted that this was most likely the truth. Your response to him changed after last night, not after the concert. He assumed it was because you’d talked to someone while he wasn’t there, but maybe Taehyung wasn’t that someone.

Again, he remembered Sid. He could still ask him, he supposed, even if he doubted that Sid told you.

But there was a very big problem with this plan. If Sid found out that you knew about the bet, he would immediately amplify all of Jungkook’s problems by claiming that someone broke the rules of the bet—even if Sid was the one who told you.

He’d organise a manhunt, Jungkook didn’t doubt it. Or maybe he’d just blame Jungkook straight away—never mind that the bet ceased to exist to Jungkook the moment he barged into Sid’s room in Amsterdam, and demanded they ended it.

No. It was better to keep Sid out of this.

Jungkook swallowed and shuddered faintly when he felt the bitter aftertaste of everything that he’d drunk last night.

“Did you tell anyone?” he asked Taehyung.

Looking down, Taehyung brought his tongue over his lips. “Well...”

“Anyone other than Luna, I mean.”

“No. You asked me not to. I only told her after I assumed—”

“Okay, well,” Jungkook cut in, guilty suddenly, about forcing his friend into this. “C-could Luna have told her?”

“She could have,” Taehyung admitted. “But she was with me the whole night. And besides, she agreed that it should be you who tells her. That’s what I thought you were going to do last night.”

Jungkook shut his eyes and exhaled so deeply that Taehyung could feel it on his face from two metres away. “I don’t… I was—it would have—”

Interrupting his miserable struggle to construct a full sentence, the older boy reiterated, “we didn’t tell her. Honestly, I assumed that you did.”

Taehyung had had doubts before, but seeing Jungkook’s uncontrollable frustration right now convinced him that you must know about the bet.

Still, Jungkook’s confusion confused him.

It had to be Jungkook who told you. Who else could have?

“Well, I was—” Jungkook swallowed before charging, “actually, wh—what—what right did you have to tell her to talk to me? After I specifically asked you not to tell anyone! She obviously understood that something’s up.”

Taehyung looked offended at the outburst.

But Jungkook couldn’t control himself.

The longer he stayed away from you on the bus, the more he hurt. The more he understood that none of this mattered—not who told you, not what he said to you afterwards.

What mattered was this: he had made the bet. And you knew about it.

And now he wasn’t sure what would happen next and the guilt and the fear and the hurt could not fit in his chest anymore. He desperately needed a real, tangible something to blame his pain on. He needed someone else to be at fault.

“Something is up. And she’s our manager,” Taehyung said. “And you clearly need… managing.”

Childishly, Jungkook retorted, “you don’t know what I need.”

“You told me, because this was bothering you,” the older member said. “I was trying to help you do the right thing.”

Jungkook frowned so deeply that a permanent wrinkle was slowly beginning to form on his forehead. Then, he finally relaxed his face and stopped moving altogether—to breathe instead. And to think.

Perhaps, he thought as he rushed to inhale and exhale as if he was being pursued by the invisible horrors that he had battled last night and this morning—perhaps the look in your eyes that he’d seen today hadn’t come from a nightmare, after all.

It couldn’t have been Sid who told you. And it wasn’t Taehyung. It wasn’t Luna.

You looked at him like it was him.

“It—it must have—it was—” He inhaled and held his breath for one, two, three seconds. “You’re right. I-I must have told her. It was—I did—I-I told her.”

Taehyung watched as acceptance darkened Jungkook’s already hopeless eyes.

“I was really—I still feel kind of drunk, but I was even more wasted last night,” he continued, staring at the floor. He was breathing so rapidly now that he could have powered every streetlight in this whole city if they ran on oxygen and not electricity. “Maybe I was the one who told her. No one else could have, and it—it should have been me anyway, but I—it was—”

“Okay,” Taehyung said, quickly realising the direness of the situation. He put an arm around the younger boy’s shoulder. “Why don’t you sit down?”

Jungkook hadn’t realised he was standing.

He didn’t feel Taehyung lower him onto his bunk, he didn’t feel the soft mattress underneath, he didn’t feel his friend’s hands around him.

All he felt was an oddly familiar tremor taking over his body—as if he’d already been here, shaking uncontrollably in another life.

Taehyung was aware of the predicament that Jungkook was in. Really, he was. But, honestly, he was proud of him for telling you the truth. He probably shouldn’t have felt this way, considering that telling you about the bet was common sense, but he couldn’t help it.

He was glad that Jungkook had chosen honesty—even though Taehyung hadn’t really given him a different choice, and the truth had made the younger boy nearly transparent as his shoulders hunched under his friend’s touch.

Taehyung wanted to believe that this honesty, despite how much discomfort and pure pain it brought Jungkook, signified growth. And with growth came the decision to choose better friends.

However, telling you about the bet and then forgetting about it? That was bad. Taehyung didn’t want to imagine how bad.

He sighed, releasing one breath in the time that Jungkook released ten.

“Maybe you should talk to her. When you’re a little more put together,” Taehyung suggested, hoping that a clear plan of action would calm Jungkook down.

“She won’t talk to me,” he said, and his breaths grew more ragged.

“Ah.” Taehyung raised his head knowingly. He needed a moment to compose himself before he admitted that he knew this would happen—and that Jungkook deserved this silent treatment just a little bit. “Yes. Well… That—that was to be expected, I would think.”

Despite his words, there was a comforting warmth in Taehyung’s eyes that Jungkook missed because he was too preoccupied with fighting his inner demons. He remembered something else—a sharp tension in his lungs, much like the one he was experiencing right now, as he struggled to contain everything that he was inhaling: revulsion and regret, despair and dread.

He had told you. He couldn’t remember it exactly, but he knew he had.

Jungkook managed to raise his eyes.

“W-what—what do I do?” he asked in between breaths.

Taehyung sucked his lips in. “I have no idea.”

Jungkook groaned as he ran his shaking fingers through his hair and pulled away from the other boy.

“For fuck’s s-sake,” he hissed, then took another unsteady breath. “You could—you could try being more helpful, you know.”

“You could try giving me less attitude, you know,” Taehyung returned. “Considering your position.”

Jungkook scrunched his nose irritably but refrained from arguing. His breathing began to slow as he shifted his focus from regretting the past to fixing the future.

“Fine,” he said. “Sorry. Please help me figure this out.”

There wasn’t much that Taehyung could have helped him with, and they both knew it. What Jungkook really needed was just encouragement that this wasn’t over yet. That he could still do something and hope for a positive outcome.

Taehyung contemplated this for a minute. A part of him honestly thought that this might be over. But as much as he valued honesty, he knew that sometimes it wasn’t the best option.

This was one of those times.

Not to mention, there were two sides to this coin.

The first was that you and Jungkook had known each other for years before you began to work together. Taehyung virtually knew nothing about your relationship prior to Rated Riot. He knew nothing of your history together. Maybe there was potential for resolution, after all.

However, the other side of the coin was this: you had an incredible opportunity to work with one of the biggest rock bands in the world. And even though the vocalist of this band was prone to alcohol, he was not prone to toxic friendships—at least as far as Taehyung knew. Not to mention, you hadn’t dated anyone in Reconnaissance, which had to be a massive plus after all that had just happened here. And so, although you said you would stay with Rated Riot, no one would have blamed you if you left.

Taehyung sighed.

This was a very, very unpleasant situation, to say the least.

“Alright. There’s something you should know,” the older boy finally said. “I don’t know if it’s going to be helpful for you, but, um… sh-she got an offer to work with Reconnaissance.”

Jungkook heard the way all the sounds inside the bus and inside his head and even inside his chest suddenly ceased, leaving only a faint buzzing.

He wasn’t sure what was buzzing. Maybe he hadn’t realised he was screaming.

“Wh—what?” he asked after a loaded minute. “She—what? When?”

“I don’t know,” Taehyung said. “I just found out today.”

“So, she’s—what? She’s leaving?”

“I don’t know.”

Jungkook got up from his bunk and spun around, restless all of a sudden, as he ran his fingers through his hair again, messing it up even more. “Fuck.”

Taehyung gave him a moment to process this.

“What do I do?” Jungkook repeated, his breathing uneven again. Taehyung tensed when he heard the panic return to his friend’s voice. He stood up, but couldn’t reach Jungkook as he paced away from him on the bus. “What the f—what do I say? S-she won’t talk to me. Fuck.”

“Give her some time, then,” Taehyung said—quickly. Because he could tell that Jungkook was approaching a concerning new level of distress. “She just found out about the bet. This must have been quite a shock to her. It was shocking for me, and I have nothing to do with this. So, imagine how she must feel.”

“Okay. But it’s—what if she—”

“She’s not impulsive,” Taehyung cut in, guessing the younger boy’s concern. “She won’t just get up and leave. But if you keep pushing right now while the—” He clicked his tongue, looking for a more sensitive word. “—while the shock is still fresh, then you might end up pushing her towards the wrong decision.”

That sounded reasonable. Painful and terrifying, too, but reasonable, nonetheless.

Jungkook slid his hands down his face and spent a minute inhaling and exhaling in two-second increments. Then he nodded and looked up at the other boy.

“Yeah. Okay,” he decided. His head still felt like he had stolen it from a bronze sculpture—heavy, yet completely empty. But he thought he was gradually getting used to the pain. “You’re right. Okay. So, I should wait, right? Just… wait?”

“That’s what I’d do,” Taehyung said. “Wait.”

And so, waiting was what Jungkook did. For exactly six hours.

By then, everyone had already returned to the bus for the trip to Cologne, and the French bus driver had finished half a pack of cigarettes. You were unaware that it was just you and Jungkook left outside—you were still on the phone with the other roadies—and Jungkook used that to his advantage.

Anticipating your usual excuse of being too busy, he prepared in advance and spoke to the bus driver to find out the scheduled departure time. He learned that he should have enough time to have a proper conversation with you or, at the very least, address some of the drunken confessions that he must have made last night.

He had promised himself to hold off speaking to you in hopes that his mind would clear and he could remember a bit more—anything other than this suffocating misery that still kept him in a relentless chokehold today. But that promise was in vain.

He couldn’t wait.

“I need to talk to you,” Jungkook said as soon as he saw you come out from behind the bus.

Just as he had expected, you shook your head. “Now’s not the right—”

“We still have twenty-five minutes before we leave,” he said.

“It wouldn’t hurt to be ahead of schedule,” you argued, but he refused to move, so you couldn’t reach the bus door. “The equipment team had already left. We have to—”

“Please. Give me five minutes,” he said. “Please.”

As you were beginning to look away from him, your eyes involuntarily lingered on his face for a moment longer, and you felt your heart make the decision for you. You’d give him five minutes.

Really, the ache in your chest was just an excuse, as you realised in a fleeting moment of sober clarity. Your mind didn’t want to walk away from him, either.

He looked hurt—he had no right to look that way, not after what he’d done—but the look in his eyes still cut into your already wounded heart a little more.

You couldn’t remember if he had looked like this last night. All that you could see after he told you about the bet were the dangerous ripples of the ground beneath you and the unyielding darkness surrounding you.

You’d listen to him, you decided. That was all that you could still offer him.

“Fine,” you conceded, realising that you had a weakness, and it was standing right in front of you.

Jungkook inhaled—he’d managed to get his breathing under control in the past few hours—and straightened.

He’d seen this before, he thought. This moment that hadn’t even happened yet already echoed in his mind like a forgotten passage from a book that his grandmother had used to read to him—about heartache and the eventual happily ever after. He was too young for those books, really, he just wanted to be in grandma’s room longer. But he remembered the glistening tears in her eyes as she turned the last few pages, and he, too, found himself rooting for the people in the book.

Surely, then, if this was the painful part of the story—the part where the two characters couldn’t look at each other at the same time—then you had to be approaching the conclusion? The happy ending that he found himself dreaming about for the first time in Paris?

All that was left for the two of you was to resolve it all.

“I was very drunk last night,” he started. “I should have told you the truth before I got drunk, but the way the night unfolded… it didn’t work in my favo—okay, that—that sounds like an excuse. But I want you to know that I had the intention to tell you all along. It wasn’t something that I decided on a whim after I had some drinks.”

“Hmm.” You were staring at your shoes before you pursed your lips and glanced up at him. “And, uh, what about the bet? Was that something you made on a whim?”

Something very unpleasant churned in his stomach. He felt queasy.

“I did,” he admitted. “I was—it was—I thought it would prove a point.”

“Did it?”

“No. All it proved is that I made the wrong choice of caring about what my friends thought of me, when I should have cared about what you thought,” he said. His jaw was clenched, but his face was soft and almost fragile. You looked away again. His words sounded clumsy when you weren’t looking at him, when he didn’t know if you heard him. “I-I’m sorry. I swear I meant it when I said I loved—”

“Look,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “I don’t really see the point of this conversation, so maybe—”

“Okay—okay, just—listen,” he said in a hurry, raising both of his hands to the back of his head in a desperate attempt to keep himself together. Reluctantly, you returned your gaze to his. “I-I wanted to say that you can ask me, or say anything to me. I want to talk. Give me a chance to explain.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you, though,” you said, and he felt his heart fall and thrash in the cavities of his chest like a frightened, dying fish out of the water.

He tried to remember if this was what you’d said to him last night—this brutal declaration that you’d run out of words—perhaps right after he told you about the bet.

It would have explained why he felt smothered the whole day—as if your decision to talk to him directly influenced his decision to breathe.

“Okay,” he said, swallowing something sharp in his throat. “Well, what about Reconnaissance?”

Your eyes widened for less than a second before you composed yourself. It confirmed to him that everything Taehyung had said was true.

“How did you—?” you began to ask, but Jungkook didn’t let you finish.

“Taehyung told me. You didn’t—you told everyone, but you couldn’t tell me.”

Despite the twinge of guilt in your stomach, you still thought this was an unfair accusation. You hadn’t told everyone. And Jungkook was the last person who could have reprimanded you for keeping a secret.

“This has nothing to do with you,” you said.

“How—” he started, then cut himself off with a scoff. “You’re leaving, and it has nothing to do with me?”

“I’m not—I’m still here, aren’t I?” you countered, changing your mind about making a promise to stay when chaos roamed free in your mind.

Jungkook recognised the hesitation in your eyes. He felt his anger grow at the possibility that you were genuinely considering this.

“Yeah, but for how long?!” he accused. “I thought—I thought we were finally on the same page about everything, and—”

“Oh!” you exclaimed; the single syllable so full of irony that he stopped talking immediately. “On the same page, are we? Okay, then, let me see if I got everything right here.”

There was that fire in your eyes—the one that he had wanted to see.

He felt equal parts terrified—because he couldn’t predict what you’d say next—and hopeful—because you were finally talking to him—as he watched you instead of replying.

“You made a bet with Sid about us,” you said—short and sharp. Jungkook thought he flinched, but he hoped you didn’t notice.

“Yes,” he said. “And I—”

“He said we wouldn’t get back together, and you said we would.”

Jungkook nodded, his throat suddenly too swollen to speak.

“And if you lost,” you continued. “You had to give up your Katana.”

“Mmhm.”

You paused here, frowning. You weren’t sure if you’d forgotten this part or if he hadn’t mentioned it last night.

“And if you won?” you asked.

He felt an unpleasant warmth wash over him at your question.

“I’d, uh—I would have gotten $10,000,” he admitted, his eyes darting between you and the ground. “And, you know. Uh, also you.”

“Ah.” You nodded. “Double win, isn’t it?”

He cringed at the sarcasm.

You continued to watch him with narrowed eyes, but you couldn’t really see him, blind to everything but the raging fury that swirled inside you, pounding on the walls of your chest to get out.

It wasn’t even the bet that you were mostly angry about, not really. You were angry about his choices in general. About his constant need to do whatever his friends told him to. About his utter lack of ability to stand up for himself—and for you.

You were angry that you were back to where you started, back on the doorstep of his dorm room four years ago, when you said you were done, and he did nothing to stop you from leaving.

You were sure you’d had a point you wanted to make when you brought up the bet a few minutes ago, perhaps to counter his attempts to blame you for not telling him about Reconnaissance. But you didn’t want to make any points anymore.

You didn't even want to speak.

“It really sounds fun,” you commented dryly. “Shame you didn’t win.”

“Y-you’re—but I-I don’t care if I win or lose,” he stammered, anguished by your dismissive tone. “That’s why I told you about it. The bet was a mistake. But I can’t turn the fucking time back, even though I really fucking want to. So I’d rather tell you and lose it than win it and lose you. There’s nothing I want more than—I’m—I just want to be honest. And I was honest. Every time I told you how I felt, I meant it.” He inhaled, rushing to get all his words out before he truly lost you—he saw the way you positioned your body away from him as soon as he mentioned honesty. “I was drunk when I told you about the bet, I know. I shouldn’t have been. But I told you, and—”

“See—no,” you cut him off. “You don’t get to feel good about that. You forgot that you told me.”

“I…” his sentence broke off. “I-I did. Okay. That’s true. And I’m sorry. I was really—I was drunk.”

“You’re always fucking drunk.”

You finally turned away as you groaned and allowed the wind to tangle your hair around the hood of your jacket.

You were exhausted of these same old excuses: either he was drunk, or he was with his friends. Sometimes both.

You thought you’d walked away from all of this four years ago. How had you ended up back in the exact same place? Why did you think it would be different this time?

Sid was still here. And his endless games were still here, too.

“Oh.” You remembered suddenly and turned back around. “Was this what the Paris trip was about? When we went to Kihyun and Chloé’s wedding? Is that why Sid didn’t want me to go with you?”

Jungkook closed his eyes. “It’s, uh… yes. It’s sort of what started the, um—the whole thing. But it wasn’t—I actually wanted to go there with you, it wasn’t—”

You hummed, cutting him off—as if you were a teacher, giving him a test, and he was a student, answering every question correctly, but letting you down every time he opened his mouth anyway.

You didn’t say anything else.

Jungkook thought he was going to burst into flames.

He could tell that you didn’t want to listen to him when he said he loved you. In fact, you made a conscious decision not to hear him.

He was horrified to realise that these past few weeks and all the conversations, all the unsaid words that you finally said, all the closure that you’d welcomed after years of evading it—all of it had evaporated after last night.

You refused to remember these moments, refused to believe that they were real.

He wasn’t just back to where he started when this tour began—back when you wouldn’t accept his confessions. When you tried to explain his feelings for you using the circumstances: a different continent, too many forgotten memories, too much time spent together. And you were right, in part, to have your doubts. He really hadn’t told you everything. But everything that he had told you, he’d meant it.

But now he was much farther back—at the very last row, merely observing your silhouette as you climbed on stage and introduced yourself in a cold, detached voice. Like he didn’t know you. Like he hadn’t spent the past seven years loving you.

One bet. One fucking bet.

And now he was scared that there was nothing else left.

Gripping the stitching on the sides of his dark grey jeans, Jungkook said one more time, “I’m sorry.”

You were looking down as you repeatedly nodded your head—each nod a new dagger in his chest.

“Thank you for that,” you said, letting the sentence falter.

It was clear that you’d meant what you said—you had nothing else to say. He would have liked to hear anything, really, except for the silence that followed.

“W-what can I do?” he asked, afraid that the conversation—that all of your conversations— had come to an end.

You frowned—all of your conversations had come to an end.

“What do you mean?” you asked almost incredulously.

“Well, you’re clearly mad, and—”

“No,” you said. “I briefly flew over mad last night when you pulled me out of the bus at six-thirty in the morning. Now I’m back to normal.”

Biting his lip ring and pulling it into his mouth, Jungkook stayed quiet for a few seconds.

He had expected this to be awful, meaning you’d be angry.

He hadn’t expected this to be worse than awful; meaning you’d stand here, looking at him with a straight face and hollow eyes, almost daring him to apologise again.

Now it’s finally too late, your posture was saying. You fucked up one too many times.

You truly weren’t mad, he realised.

You’d given up.

“And w-what—what is ‘normal,’ exactly?” he asked finally, even though he feared the answer.

You hammered the final nail into the coffin that he’d built himself.

“I’m your manager,” you said. What a great eulogy. “You should get back on the bus. We’re leaving soon.”

He knew he needed to apologise again, but nothing he said seemed to make a difference. You weren’t hearing him—and, honestly, he understood why.

But a part of him still felt frustrated. You had kept something from him, too. There was a risk you’d leave—forever—and he needed conditions; something he could do to make this right. To make you stay.

It was a stupid bet. He never should have made it. It was bad, but in comparison to his feelings for you—and yours for him, before he ruined everything—he didn’t think it was significant enough to make you consider leaving your job.

“You’re right,” he said. “You’re my manager. And you can’t—you can’t leave the band.”

The determination in his tone made you pause.

“I can’t?” you repeated, your eyebrows drawn together in a defiant frown. “And who would stop me if I said I was leaving?”

Fuck, Jungkook thought in a sudden panic. That was not what he should have said. Now you might really leave.

Taehyung had warned him that he might push you towards the wrong decision. And he was doing exactly that.

“You—you know what I mean...” he faltered, discouraged by your resistance. “I-I fucked up, I know that. Tell me how to fix it.”

“There’s nothing to fix,” you said. “Get on the bus.”

He stood still. “Is this how it’s going to be from now on?”

“It’s going to be like it always was,” you said. “Get on the fucking bus, Jungkook.”

He didn’t. You were so close to him now that he could smell your perfume and the apple scent of your shampoo. He remembered himself years ago, hoping that one day, apples would stop reminding him of you.

Now he knew how outrageously absurd it was to hope for this when he was convinced that all versions of him—across all universes—always immediately thought of you whenever they tasted apples.

“Don’t—you can’t start treating me like everything that happened between us didn’t happen,” he retorted—with all the anger that he had at the thought of never having you this close to him again.

“What happened, exactly?” you snapped. “You’ve clearly never bothered to be honest with me for one second until last night, never bothered to even think about me, because you—”

“I thought about you all the time, though!”

“Yeah, because you had no other fucking choice!” you rebutted. “If you didn’t think of me, you would have lost the bet. None of it was genuine—”

“I lost the bet because I was thinking of you,” he defended, furiously waving his hands around.

“Oh! That’s so considerate!” Your laughter was rigid and bitter. “Maybe it’s me who should apologise. I’m so sorry I ended up being the reason why you lost the bet.”

He dropped his hands, groaning. Once again, he realised how terrible he was at telling the truth, and how splendid at saying all the wrong things.

“Don’t—don’t be like that,” he asked, agitated.

You glared at him. “Like what?”

“Just—difficult.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” you said. “I’ll make this very simple for you: we’re done talking about your shit.” You pulled back from him to turn around. “Get on the fucking bus. I have more important things to do.”

Immediately, Jungkook grabbed both of your hands to stop you from leaving.

You turned back to him with wide eyes, and your stunned stiffness gave him enough time to properly wrap his fingers around your wrists.

“Is that your plan, then?” he demanded. His hands were cold, but his grip was loose enough for you to push him away—but the challenge in his question made you wait, frozen in place. “You’re just going to walk away again? Start working with a different band so you won’t have to think about your feelings? Won’t have to face your fears of trying again? That’s your solution for everything, isn’t it? Just fucking walking away.”

He'd touched something—there was a raw wildfire in your eyes now, nothing like the flames he’d seen before.

You yanked your hand out of his grip and took a step back.

“You know what?” you said. “It is. It is my solution to everything. And you want to know something else? This bet isn’t even the worst thing. And that’s the worst thing—the fact that this is just another bullet point in an endless list of shit that you and your friends have done. So, yes. I am walking away. I should have never even come back in the first place.”

Jungkook felt the ground beneath his feet tremble unsteadily at your words—much like his hands by his sides.

Back in Amsterdam, you’d told him that you forgave him for not realising how many mistakes he’d made in your relationship. He’d seen a glimpse of a second chance that night in your hotel room.

He was aware of his never-ending list of mistakes now. And still, he made new ones.

“I’m—I’m sorry, I—”

��Get on the bus,” you said, turning around to face the empty parking lot instead of his apologetic face. “I still need to call the other drivers and check in with the rest of the crew.”

You were doing your job. You were still talking to him. He should have been glad.

Instead, he couldn’t force his legs to move or his heart to keep beating.

“I… Can—can you just—just tell me that you’ll stay with the band,” he pleaded.

Your shoulders were straight as you stood with your back to him, your hands clenched into distraught fists by your sides. He’d once jokingly tried to teach you the proper stance in a fight. Really, it was you who should have done the teaching.

“Get on the bus,” you repeated.

His distress was relentless. “I will. But we have to talk about—”

“We don’t have to do anything,” you argued. “I think it’s better if we stop having conversations unrelated to Rated Riot altogether, if that’s alright with you.”

He watched your back with unwavering determination. “It’s not.”

“Tough. Get in.”

He needed a minute to convince himself to quit arguing, to drain the fight out of his chest. Then another minute to steady his breathing enough to turn towards the bus.

As he approached the door, he looked back at you and caught the way you had glanced at him over your shoulder. There was a dampness in your eyes from the heavy wind. He saw it right before you turned away again.

He swayed lightly on the steps of the bus. “Please, just—”

“Don’t,” you said, and your shaky voice turned the word into a warning rather than an order. “Just get in. We’re done talking.”

With your back still turned to the bus, you heard Jungkook climb the steps, seemingly hesitate once more, and then finally walk inside. The automatic door slammed shut behind him with a dull thud that was almost as loud as the defeated beats of your heart in your chest.

Alone in the parking lot, you finally exhaled all that you’d kept inside and then some. You wanted your lungs to feel as empty as your chest.

For just a minute, you couldn’t be Rated Riot’s manager.

For just a minute, you needed to be yourself and by yourself as you squatted, hugging your knees to your chest.

Your laboured breaths made you rock on your feet slightly as your chest rose and fell at an increasing pace, but you resisted the throbbing hurt inside—you couldn’t cry. You wouldn’t.

In a minute, you’d have to check on the band and make sure all of them were on the bus before leaving for Cologne.

In a minute, you’d have to face Jungkook again and talk to him as if nothing had happened.

You squeezed your eyes shut.

The bet was hurtful. But what hurt even more was your own choice to let it all escalate to the point where losing it all again hurt. Still wanting him, even now, hurt. His unchanging priorities—his friends first, everyone else second—hurt.

You didn’t want to talk to him as if nothing had happened. But you had to.

Maybe it was for the better. The bet was a cold shower, jolting you awake and reminding you that trying again never worked.

And really, perhaps you should have seen this coming. You knew that this was just another one of Sid’s games that Jungkook had willingly participated in. Truly, this was nothing new in your experience and hardly different from Sid dropping Jungkook off at the grimiest bar in town and sending you on a scavenger hunt to find him—night, after night, after night.

You stood up with a sharp inhale.

You’d had enough.

If Jungkook wanted to continue playing, he could do it by himself. You refused to be a part of it again.

However, ending things with Jungkook and ensuring that he didn’t win this bet didn’t feel like your win, either.

It felt like you both lost.

chapter title credits: bad omens, “the fountain”

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[crooked-haven]

Cake | 18+

➭ Pairing: 'Top' Kim Taehyung x 'Bottom' Jeon Jungkook

➭ Rating/Genre: Smut 18+, Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 

➭ Warnings/Tags: Taekook Husbands, French kissing, Groping, anal, male receiving, teasing, boy on boy, male anatomy, rough, degrading, slapping, unprotected sex, cross dressing, hair pulling, choking, (wear protection irl plz) Jungkook is a brat and whining mess (again).

➭ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are purely coincidental. Also this is my story so please don’t steal!

➭ By: Crooked-haven

Word Count: 1k

•Author’s POV•

A tall slim figure walked down the carpeted staircase, and quickly rushed to the kitchen. He threw the white laced apron on over his matching white crop top, and pink skirt. This was his favorite outfit, well more like his husband’s favorite outfit. He immediately began grabbing the ingredients he needed from the cabinet, combing through his fluffy black locks, all while mixing up his cake batter. After a few moments, the front door clicked open and in walked his lovely husband, Taehyung. Jungkook too immersed in his cooking didn’t even notice his handsome husband.

Taehyung then walked into their shared living room, sat down on the couch and sighed in despair. He had a tough day at work, he was incredibly stressed and overworked, he even had to fire a few employees today and that always upsets him. He untied his tie, and threw it on the coffee table. He began to get lost in deep thought when the sound of a metal crash caused him to jump up. He ran into the kitchen just in time to see his pretty husband bent over, his plump ass right on display. “Aish~” Jungkook whined in annoyance. He had dropped the batter bowl onto the floor, causing it to go everywhere and make a huge mess.

Taehyung’s breath caught in his throat and he knew exactly how to relieve his stress. Jungkook gasped when he felt arms snake around his waist, he would have been terrified if it wasn’t for the very familiar Gucci fragrance that filled the room. “Tae, I was making you a cake and I ruined it” Jungkook said sadly while melting into Taehyung’s warm touch. Taehyung didn’t answer, just kissed his nape gently. “I really wanted to make you a cake” Jungkook said in a pouty voice. Once again Taehyung didn’t answer and just laced the youngers neck with kisses. “Mmh~ Tae?” Jungkook tilted his head to the side and Taehyung bit his neck and sucked harshly, oh how he missed his warm skin.

Jungkook let out a low moan and turned around to face his husband. “It’s okay Kook, I have a different cake in mind” Jungkook didn’t understand until Taehyung roughly turned him around and bent him over the kitchen counter, lifting his pretty pink skirt up. He roughly squeezed Jungkook’s right ass cheek which caused a little moan from the younger. “Tae!” He said in slight embarrassment, although this isn’t what he had in mind, he wasn’t complaining one bit. Taehyung let out a sigh, this time in contempt. “I have done nothing but worked my ass off, I deserve this cake Kook” Taehyung huffed out followed by a slap against his buns ass. “A-Ahh~ Tae do it again please~”

“Okay, If you say so” Taehyung then proceeded to slap his buns already pink and red ass two more times before hooking his slender fingers on his blue laced panties, yanking them down, exposing Jungkook’s puckering hole. He licked his lips and smirked at the pretty sight, running his fingers against it. Jungkook let out an impatiently soft moan. “I see you have already prepared yourself for me like a good little slut hmm?” He then slid three of his fingers inside the pretty hole with no issue. “Ahh~ I-I just couldn’t help it” Taehyung grabbed the youngers black locks with his left hand, and held the edge of the counter with his right, he then lined up his dick with the soft pink hole, and pressed his chest to the back of his needy baby.

Jungkook squirmed in his embrace, moving his hips to cause friction against his pretty ass. Taehyung leaned forward, biting his buns ear and whispering in his raspy voice. “Beg me again you dirty little cunt.” Jungkook moaned loud. “P-Please fuck me please~” Without any hesitation or warnings, Taehyung snapped his hips forward and bottomed out completely. After a couple of seconds Taehyung stood straight, still keeping his grip on his buns pretty hair and began thrusting in a slow and steady pace, he shut his eyes, rocking his hips and enjoying the feeling of his long dick inside his favorite cake, but the peacefulness soon came to an end when Jungkook started whining, loudly and without his permission.

Taehyung opened his eyes, yanked Jungkook up to partly stand, repositioned his right hand to wrap around snugly against his buns warm throat and spoke harshly. “Did I tell you, you could moan!?” Jungkook gasped but answered nonetheless. “N-No I’m s-sorr-“ he was cut off by Taehyung fastening his thrusts, the jolt pushed him forward against the cold counter and he held himself up by his arms. His face contorted with pleasure and his toes began to curl, he knew for sure he was going to cum if Taehyung continued to use him like he was. Tears threatened to fall down his flushed face, and he tried his best to warn his husband. “I-I c-um-“ Taehyung grunted shoving him forward some more and nearly growled out.

Taehyung gripped the youngers throat tighter and started pounding into him. “Cum right now! Cum on my dick you filthy bitch!” Jungkook’s eyes rolled back in pleasure and he came while choking on his tears, dirtying the counter and his front skirt even more. Taehyung groaned out, he too was close, and to that he continued thrusting himself deep inside his love. Jungkook’s arms and legs gave out causing him to fall forward against the cold countertop and even though his mind was numb from the overstimulation he had a fat smile because he knew what he was about to get. Taehyung bit his lip harshly, and after a few more thrusts he emptied his icing inside his cake. “Ahh~” They moaned at the same time. Taehyung smirked and licked his dry lips and after a few moments of silence he cleared his throat and spoke as he pulled out. “Time to eat my cake”

End ♡︎

A/N:

So first I want to start off by saying, this was supposed to be one of my more detailed smuts, and when I finished this the first time I got a little too excited and accidentally deleted half of the story, so I had to rewrite it from memory and mine is horrible, I will say it's still pretty good, but I am super disappointed in myself, nonetheless I hope you all enjoyed anyways and requests are open.<3

[yourdreamscenarios]

When you get hurt

∙ Word count: 2.6K ∙ Request ♡

“Go! Go! Go! Faster you…” Jimin scolded across the field, using his arms and legs to express himself as Taehyung made his way from one square over to the next. He ran straight past it, reaching the second just as Hoseok fisted the ball between his hands, swinging it up in the air with a loud yelp. “You better not finish that sentence Park Jimin!” Namjoon scolded, causing Jimin to chuckle and call out all the possible options he could have used to do so anyway. A burst of laughter rang through the open air, and you leaned back on your hands in the grass as you enjoyed the rays of sunlight warming up your face. 

It was one of the first real beautiful days of the year, and you couldn’t think of a better way to spend it than just so. The first day the sun actually felt warm and cozy, instead of simply shining down and making it seem like summer outside. The air smelt fresh, blossoms hanging on the trees around the open field. Cloud drifted by slowly, making it seem as if time passed leisurely. You sighed, content, as your eyes scanned the boys playing a ‘friendly’ game of baseball.

The guys had just finished filming for their newest episode for In The Soop today. Jungkook had asked you to come by, and you had watched the final few cuts, laughing silently behind the crew, before they wrapped up. You had missed each other a lot recently. Things had been busy on both of your ends. College was being a bitch, and as your paper was due in a few weeks, you spend a majority of your behind your computer, typing away about stuff you thought you barely seemed to know anything about. Jungkook had been away from home none stop, busy promoting, recording in the studio and filming for the next season of In The Soop. 

So when he’d asked you over, and you had seemed to have run against a writers block, you hadn’t been able to refuse his offer. Which caused you to be here, in this exact place in this exact time. And you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at this very moment. You watched him closely as you smiled at his friends. His eyes focused on Hoseok as he threw the ball back to Jin, who was standing on the other end of the field. “Okay, who’s next?” Jin asked, as they waited for another batter to make their way forward. The sun was shining down on his dark hair. His cheeks slightly pink because of the heat.

You were too busy studying your boyfriend’s beautiful expression and didn’t notice Taehyung’s gaze landing on you until the sound of your name reached your ears. “____________! Get up! Take a swing.” Your eyes widened, like a deer in headlights. Jungkook raised his eyebrows at you, and you could see his words to defend you at the already forming on his lips. The thing was, you were pretty bad at sports. No, you were very shitty at sports as a matter of fact. You were the one who was always sitting on the side, cheering everyone on and watching them do great things. 

You were amazed by people who were as flexible to reach their fingers to the ground while bending at their hips. Or who shot a ball into the middle of two poles in one kick. But you were always the one sitting out, always the one saying no. And for this once, you didn’t want your boyfriend to have to speak up on your behalf. “Alright.” You mumbled, getting up from your spot and whipping off your hands. What was the worst that could happen? You could make a fool out of yourself, not being able to hit the ball. Cause that was the furthest you would ever get anyway.

This got you a cheer from the guys, even from Jungkook, though it was a surprised one. Jimin handed you the bat, giving you a pat on the shoulder and a huge supportive smile as you took your place at the first base. The bat felt foreign in your grip, heavier than you expected. You swung it from left to right, trying out the best way to hold it, and carefully placed your left hand underneath your right, the way you had seen Taehyung do it before you. Jin crouched down slightly, placing his huge glove in front of himself as he asked you to swing the bat once. As you did, you felt all the muscles you usually never used protest at the sudden movement. 

Your cheeks reddened, figured you probably looked funny to your friends. But they were all focused onto the game, eyes on the ball and the bat, too busy to care about your possibly embarrassing yourself. “Okay, let’s give this a try.” Jin said, and he called back from three to one, sending the ball flying towards you right after. The instinct to turn away and run from the flying object racing towards you was overwhelming. But you squared your feet into the grass as it kept on coming closer and your breath hitched in your throat as you swung the bat forward. You heard the clinging sounds of metal taking a hit and watched in awe as the ball went soaring through the air. Disbelieve rushed through you, you’d actually done it, you’d hit it.

“Yes! RUN!” Yoongi shouted, jumping up and down beside you. He gave you a slight shove when you didn’t move, and got you into motion. You ran. Your lungs screamed for oxygen as you passed the first base, making your way towards Taehyung, who was clapping his hands together and chanting you on. You ran past Namjoon, who was guarding the third square, yet he moved over to make room for you as you ran past. Jungkook’s smile reached both of his ear as you shouted your name, and you grinned brightly at him as you raced towards him, taking his stand at the final base. You were going so fast, you felt like flying. 

You couldn’t believe they hadn’t caught the ball yet, you couldn’t believe you’d made it this far, you couldn’t believe… Your breath stuttered inside of your throat as you felt your shoe getting stuck in the grass, and you quickly stuck out both of your arms in the hope to balance yourself. But you could feel your left ankle buckle underneath you, and there was no way for you to safe yourself as you went straight down towards the ground. You huffed as you caught yourself on your hands, several feelings flowing through you all at once.  Disappointment, embarrassment, hurt. Your hands stung, and you were grateful for the rather soft underground that took your fall.  

“__________!” Jungkook was next to you in an instant, his hands grabbing hold of both of your shoulders as he crouched next to you. You blushed as you noticed the concern that clouded in his eyes as they traced you up and down. “I’m fine.” You mumbled, quickly rubbing your hands against your jeans and tucking your hair behind your ears as the rest of the boys made their way over to where you were sprawled on the grass. If you could brush this off as if it were nothing, maybe you wouldn’t still hear about this next month. “You took a pretty bad tumble though. We should get you inside, check out…” Namjoon started, but you shook your head and took the hand Taehyung extended to you to help you up. The longer you would sit here, the longer you would keep their attention on you. They had to finish the game, and hopefully forget about this terrible moment, even if it were just for a little while. 

“NO, no, I’m alright, really! I just slipped.” You let yourself get pulled back onto your feet, but as you leaned down on your left one, a stabbing pain shot through your calf, all the way up to your knee. You hissed, quickly hopping on your other feet trying to avoid it. “Did you sprain it?” Jin frowned, and quickly moved closer to you so you could lean your weight on him while standing on one leg. “No, it’s nothing…” You repeated, not sounding as convinced this time around. Tears stung your eyes; but you blinked in the hope to hide it. Jungkook crouched down in front of you, tucking up the leg of your pants, and he hissed between his teeth at what he saw. Your heard leaped inside of your chest.

“It’s swelling.” He stated, and stood back up to look you in the eye. His worry showed all over his face, and you felt stupid for even trying to take your turn at swinging your bed, knowing it would end this way or another. “I’m sorry.” You mumbled, and he shook his head as he got to your other side and together with Jin they helped you to hobble over towards the house. They sat you down on the couch, and you heard Jungkook ask his friends to call a doctor as you settled down. You wanted to tell them no, that it wasn’t necessary to fuss about this. But your ankle was starting to throb, and the pain was increasing slightly. “There’s nothing to apologize for, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He said as he grabbed a chair and popped your feet up on it. 

Yoongi came back carrying a bag of pees, and you took a sharp intake of breath when he placed it on top of your ankle. Because of the cold or the tenderness, you weren’t quite sure. “I should’ve known better though.” You mumbled, feeling more and more stupid with every passed minute. Jungkook clacked his tongue as he sat down on the couch next to you. You could smell him, a mix of his cologne, sweat and outdoor, fresh air. “You hit that ball perfectly though, did you see it soaring?” He said, a little proud smile on his face as he flattened your hair against your head, lowering them down and squeezing your cheeks between them. You smiled slightly as your leg started to feel cold. “It was a stupid idea.” You held on as a man in a blue jacket approached you, introducing himself as a paramedic. You tensed as he crouched down next to you and took your foot off the chair, starting to take off your shoe in order to look at your ankle.

Jungkook squeezed your hand, silently letting you know he was there with you. “I’m proud of you.” He said, before turning to take hear what the doctor had to say about your condition. You could tell he was trying to hide of worried he actually was, but there was a permanent frown in between his eyebrows which he couldn’t seem to ease. “This is pretty swollen. When did you say it happened?” The man asked, and your boyfriend slid forward towards the edge of the sofa to get a better look. “Just a few minutes ago.” The doctor hummed, and you sputtered uncomfortably as he pressed the sole of your feet, checking if anything was broken. 

Jungkook wrapped his arm around your shoulders, rubbing up and down your arm in an easing way. “I don’t think it’s broken. But we should probably check if you didn’t damage any of your ligament. Just to be sure.” The paramedic muttered thoughtfully, as he put down your foot. Jungkook seemed to stiffen beside you, and his expression clearly showed he was upset. “She needs to go to the hospital?” He asked, his voice a little higher than just now. The guy held his head towards the side, clearly thinking that question through. “It’s really starting to hurt though…” You brought forward, thinking that maybe a little check up was for the best. You didn’t want to miss anything. The doctor nodded, informing you that he was going to go and get the car.

Jungkook turned towards you, his emotions showing all over his face. “I’m so sorry I didn’t speak up for you, I should have said something. I should’ve told the guys you didn’t want to play. This is all my fault.” He said, hiding his face in his hands, disappointed in himself. You shook your head, forcing him to look up at you and pressing your hands up against his cheeks. “No, it’s not. I wanted to play, I truly did. I wanted to do this right for once. But hey, better luck next time.” You tried to force a smile in order to cheer him up, but you could tell he wasn’t easily fooled. “You don’t have to pretend not to be hurt for me.” He said, and wrapped your arms around you, one of his hands cradling the back of your head as the other wrapped around your middle and cuddled you against him. 

“I’m the one who should be taking care of you baby.” He muttered inside of your hair, kissing the top of your crown and rubbed his cheek down on it. Inside of his embrace, the throb inside of your leg didn’t even seem to mind you that much. Someone called out, saying the car was ready, and you got ready to remove yourself from his hug and push yourself up from the couch when he stopped you. Placing one arm underneath your knees and one behind your back he smoothly lifted you up from the couch. You could have sworn you’d heard Jimin cough something which sounded a lot like “Show off” somewhere from behind you when he carried you towards the hallway.  

“When this is all done I’m going to take you home and I’m going to spoil you all night.” Jungkook stated, pressing another peck on your temple as he made his way through the front door and towards the car. “I hate the thought that you’re hurt.” He continued, and pouted as someone opened the car door and he carefully put you down in the back seat of the car. His intense gaze locked with yours as he tucked your hair behind your ear. “I did hit that ball though. If I just hadn’t tripped over my own stupid feet…” You pouted, not sure what disappointed you more, the fact that you were about to be on your way to the hospital, of that you never got to finish that game. “Sweety, that would have been a absolute homerun. But that’s fine, cause you check all my bases.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you, and you hit his shoulder as you snorted at his terrible cheesy line. 

He reached over to fasten your seatbelt and chuckled. “Didn’t like it? How about this one? Are you one the outfield? Because you’re an angel.” You laugh continued as he closed the car door, walked around from the back and got into the backseat beside you. He fastened his own seatbelt as the driver started the car and drove off the driveway. “That’s absolutely terrible.” You chuckled, and laced your fingers with his as he reached for your hands. “I wield a big stick?” He tried again, and you swore your whole body shuddered with laughter as you made your way over to the hospital, your pain disappearing into the background, as long as he was with you.

∙ BTS Masterlist ♡     ∙ Masterlist ♡

[aajjks]

hmmm….🤔

mommy issues!JK

the ring, although beautiful, is actually deadly. eunwoo isn’t convinced that you willingly married jicheol; this had to be forced and now the only way to get your location was a bust. until jungkook comes up with the idea to call chaeyoung, your old friend who should have the information he’s looking for.

she doesn’t pick up the first three calls but if he’s calling her back to back then it must be urgent.

“hello—,”

“H-HELLO? HI IT’S ME JUNGKOOK-don’t ask anything, but I need yns parents address. COME ON HURRY UP. I DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME PLEASE. I’LL DO ANYTHING IF YOU TELL ME HER ADDRESS!”

“what? i…i don’t know! all i know is that her family is in gwangju!”

“chaeyoung, c’mon! please” begs eunwoo. “you’ve got to know something. you and y/n used to talk all the time. i know she told you about her childhood”

“she did but not where she used to live. is…is she okay?”

“she’s not okay. she’s in trouble and we need your help to save her. please, chaeyoung”

chaeyoung gets quiet on the other line, thinking about the words eunwoo has just told her. despite the wedge between the two of you, she still cares about you and wishes nothing but the best for you. if you’re in danger like eunwoo and jungkook is claiming then it’s only right for her to help anyway she can.

“bongseon-dong. i don’t know where their house is specifically but that’s what she told me”

quickly, jungkook puts it in his gps and thankfully, they’re only 10-15 minutes away from the location.

“thanks chaeyoung”

“no problem. before you hang up, i want to apologize to you, jungkook. i was wrong for what i did and you don’t have to forgive me but i just want to apologize and i take full responsibility for my actions. be safe and i hope y/n is okay. goodbye”

though the conversation was short, chaeyoung helped lead the boys directly to your location. eunwoo knows jungkook and chaeyoung don’t exactly have the best history together but he’s hoping her apology mended some things between them and the location she provided will lead them straight to you.

meanwhile…

“are you okay dear?” asks your mother as jicheol carries you back to the dining room table and plants a kiss on your cheek before sitting you down. “y-yes” you whimper. your sister and your dad take a look at your battered body and bandaged leg but they don’t say anything. they continue eating their food as if the conflict that happened earlier was nonexistent. like your loud cries for help meant nothing.

“the ring is lovely” says soo-min as she takes your hand and hold the diamond up close. “not better than mine though”

“oh stop it, minnie. the ring is beautiful”

“th-thanks mom” you say. “what do you think dad? do you like it?”

“it’s lovely, y/n”

your eyes water up but your mother chalks it up to you being emotional about the sudden proposal. ‘it’s all happening so fast’ she says but it’s normal. they think the abuse is normal. you make a plate for yourself and take little bites of the seasoned meat. the remaining of the dinner carries on like normal with your family laughing and smiling while you sit and say nothing, just existing until…

*DING DONG*

“who could be at the door this late?” says your father and jicheol has a hunch that it’s him. he then gets up and carries you into your bedroom but to make sure you don’t try anything, he grabs a pair of cuffs from who knows where and cuffs you to the bed.

“i’ll be right back, okay?”

“o-okay”

jicheol pulls you in for a surprise kiss, leaves, and shut your door behind him.

“it’s the guy she had an affair with”

“the who?” replies your father.

“fine, i’ll answer the door” says soo-min as she walks up and opens the front door.

“is there anything i can—woah” this is the man you had an affair with? “ehem, uh, how can i help you sir?”

~🫧

“MOVE YOU BITCH!” Jungkook holds his gun and points it straight at this young woman who looks awfully alot like you.

Before she can react, Jungkook pushes past her and eunwoo along with mingyu and yugyeom follow behind.

With loaded guns in their hands.

Jungkooks blood boils when he finally spots your family, his eyes frantically search for you, but there’s no sign of you, but that is until his attention is taken by someone else.

Your fucking psychotic ex-boyfriend.

Jungkook loads his gun, and aims it straight at the nameless guy. “ you motherfucker, you took her away. You made her suffer and now you will pay for this! I WILL KILL YOU.” He screams before shooting him straight in the leg, not once but twice,

The sound of the gun is silenced by the silencer placed on it,

Everyone freaks out, the women start to scream.

And the older man who he guesses is your father tries to get jungkook to stop but yugyeom and mingyu hold him back.

“no we wouldn’t really want to kill you, old guy… stay the fuck back.”

“where the fuck is my girlfriend? WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS YN?!!” jungkook screams like a maniac, intense desperation present in his eyes. Jungkook feels a lot of satisfaction when he sees the blood pool out of your ex-boyfriend’s leg.

This is only the start.

“YN BABY! WHERE ARE YOU? YN ITS ME JUNGKOOK SWEETHEART PLEASE PLEASE COME TO ME!” He desperately calls out your name before eunwoo makes his way to the tall guy and begins to beat him.

“Oh hell yeah it’s been a while. This is gonna be so much fun.” Mingyu cheers while they all hold your family hostage.

Jungkook freaks out when he gets no response from you because there’s a lot of commotion going on so he decides to search the house himself.

He goes through every single one of the bedrooms in your home, but there’s no sign of you-you’re not even in the kitchen in the spare bathroom-

That is until he spots bedroom right in front of your living room

Jungkook inhales deeply before he busts through the door. Opening it with force because he’s frantically going insane.

“YN BABY- o-oh my God!!! BABY!!!” Jungkook spots you-but you don’t look good at all, the sight of you is actually horrifying, you are cuffed up like an animal and there’s a lot of bruises on your face, your lip is freshly bleeding.

And there’s a bandage on your leg-and that damn ring on your finger.

Jungkook cries out before he reaches the bed, immediately by your side but you’re handcuffed and he feels disgust takeover his senses when he sees your face, upclose, they let him abuse you.. these people are actually monsters

“Y-Yn!!!”

Jungkook searches for the keys to your handcuffs so he can free you but that motherfucker probably has them.

So jungkook inhales a breath. “Okay yn don’t freak out I have to do this to free you…” he warns before taking out his gun and shooting at the handcuffs, the chain immediately breaks.

You cry out in horror and he feels guilty so he begins muttering a lot of apologies before picking your body up in his arms.

“Hi baby I’m so sorry I was late but I’m here now.”

[whumplovers-collaborate]

Fandom List 3 — Whumpy Works created for the Multimedia Summer Exchange in the Whumplovers Collaborate server

This list features Whumpy art and writing for the following fandoms: The Witcher, Doctor Who, Hannibal, Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, The Magnus Archives, The Last of Us, Bangtan Boys, 9-1-1, Merlin, Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

Original Work List — Fandom List 1 — Fandom List 2

Fandom: The Witcher (TV)

Writing

To Love Is To Make Sacrifices by Siegrrun @siegrrun

Jaskier could taste blood on his tongue. It was sweet and thick, and nauseating. And probably not a good sign.

Or, After a Nilfgaardian attack an injured Jaskier needs to get Ciri back to safety

Four Days by Siegrrun @siegrrun

They find Jaskier four days after he was taken.

Or, Jaskier has been kidnapped and tortured for information. This is the aftermath.

Fandom: Doctor Who

Art

Chreem's Treat by Anonymous 

Left for dead by Anonymous

The Master leaves the Doctor for dead.

Fandom: Hannibal (TV)

Writing

the gentleness of violence by murderuwuowo (goldenzingy46) @goldenzingy46 @goldenzingy46butwriteblr

After the fall from the clifftop, Hannibal can see only one way to prove Will's innocence.

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Writing

Get Up by contumeliouscorvid

“Teyla,” John said. “Can you hear me? You have to get up.”

Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)

Writing

Pick a Hemisphere by shadowhuntingdauntlessdemigod

Sam should've known that Tim and Reggie wouldn't stop trying to use him to get revenge for their dead friend. But he still hadn't expected to be kidnapped, locked in a basement, and forced to relive the demon blood-induced horror of the bar all over again. He'd say no to the demon blood, no matter what they did to him, because even with Dean not there, he couldn’t just go back on his promise. He wanted to be better. He wanted to make it right. This wasn’t the way.

Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)

Writing

the myth of good intention by bagelistyping @arcadecarpetgay

“She told me you weren’t getting enough sleep," Daisy told him.

Jon wasn’t. He knew that, he was already starting to see patterns in the corner of his vision and feel things crawling up his arms when there was nothing there, but that wasn’t the issue. It wasn’t sleep he needed. He wasn’t getting enough statements.

Fandom: The Last of Us (TV)

Writing

Day after day by Wolviecat

Joel wakes up, feeling sicker than ever. And while it isn't the disease that ravaged the world, it doesn't mean it is something he just can ignore.

Fandom: Bangtan Boys | BTS

Writing

tasting static by lokistrk

“Tae- your nose is bleeding!”

“It is?” Taehyung touched his face. It felt wet. When he pulled his hand back down, his fingers were covered in sticky, dark blood.

Taehyung and Jungkook go to a nightclub; Taehyung faints.

Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)

Writing

battered heart by obnoxious_pride_shorts (genderfluid_bitch)

Buck always found himself sitting on the uncomfortable concrete square in the corner of the backyard, alone with only his thoughts for company. - a character study of Buck and his Issues(tm).

Fandom: Merlin (TV)

Art

Knight Errant by Steefwaterbutter 

Fandom: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002) 

Art

Hurt Spirit by Silver_Treats (SuperSilverSpy) 

Spirit’s leg is injured

[sona1800]

KPOP RECAP 2023

Thank you for the tag Niki ☺️

Kpop groups you started Stanning

♡ Enhypen

♡ Stray Kids

♡ Boy Next Door

♡ Baby Monster

New Ultimate Biases

♡ Hyunjjn ( Stray Kids )

♡ I.N ( Stray Kids )

Idols You Simped For The Most

♡ BangChan ( Stray Kids )

♡ Jake ( Enhypen )

♡ Jaehyun ( Boy Next Door )

Most Steamed Groups

♡ Stray kids

♡ Enhypen

♡ Boy Next Door

Most Streamed Soloists

♡ Jungkook

♡ Somi

Top Kpop Songs ( In My Opinion)

♡ Topline

♡ Lalalala

♡ Megaverse

♡ Superbowl ( All Stray Kids )

♡ One And Only ( Boy Next Door )

♡ Bite Me

♡ Chaconne

♡ Still Monster

♡ Bills ( All Enhypen )

♡ Sugar Rush Ride ( TXT )

♡ Drama ( Aespa )

♡ Batter Up ( Baby Monster )

Top Debut

♡ Boy Next Door ( Really fun abd creative, I enjoyed it the most)

Choreographies you learned

♡ Lalalala ( Stray Kids )

♡ S Class ( Stray Kids )

♡ The View ( Stray Kids )

♡ Bite Me ( Enhypen)

♡ Future Perfect ( Pass The Mic ) ( Enhypen )

♡ Drunk Dazed ( Enhypen )

♡ Sweet Venom ( Enhypen )

♡ Drama ( Aespa )

♡ Batter Up ( Baby Monster )

♡ Sugar Rush Ride ( TXT )

Merch You Bought

♡ None, I'm broke 💔 🥲

New Kpop mutuals you made

♡ @atinyniki 🫶🏻

♡ @hearts4leeknow 🫶🏻

tags ( if you want to ) : @hearts4leeknow and whoever wants to join!! ( no pressure )

K-Pop Recap Of 2023!

tagged by @wifehwa 💜💜 thank you~

Groups You Started Stanning?

ateez if that's not clear yet lol i've been listening to ateez since black cat nero but i never really got into them, actively stanning. but who would have guesses a world tour would actually pass through south america so me and the bestie went and i was done for. ateez actively altered my brain chemistry and i'll never be the same. honorable mention to txt thanks to winnie

New Ult Biases?

yeosang and mingi

Idol(s) Who Got The Most Of Your Simping?

S-O-N-G M-I-N-G-I gonna know it's over

Most Streamed Group(s)?

ateez

Most Streamed Soloist(s)?

baekhyun

Top K-Pop Song(s) Of This Year (Opinion Or Streaming, You Choose)

personally my songs this year were halazia and arriba by ateez and cover me by stray kids

Top Debut This Year

i don't follow debuts really closely so i can't answer this

Choreographies You Learned

just like, the s-class and bouncy challenges i guess. i made my cat dance bouncy

Albums/Merchandise You Bought

3 versions of 5-star, fever pt 3, the world ep1 and ep fin

New Kpop Mutuals You Made?

my atinyblr moots~💜

tagging: @changbeens @hongamon @y-eontan @ggthydrangea @jinniebit @chanrizard @agibbangs @cheekyquokka @babycatlix @yangbbokari (no pressure)

[sugapop-rp]

👄 - jungkook abt sado hehehe

“sado…oh, hehe. so um, i obviously don’t know much about him because funny story…i accidentally mistook him for a friend of mine i was supposed to hang out on the day we met and i went ahead and hugged sado, haha. embarrassing right? or is that more sad more than anything? anywho, i am getting off topic but sado was really nice about the whole situation. i mean, i am truly surprised he didn’t like, kick me in the balls and called me a weirdo for doing all of that! wouldn’t you do the same thing? he was maybe a bit confused by it but as i said, he was nice…chill about it and we got to actually spend time. in a way, it’s like…what’s the word…um it’s as if hanging out with someone but you don’t know them? but you’re alright with that still, what’s that word again? god i’m an idiot, please tell me you know what i am talking about right? yeah? yeah, cool. i can say that i do like sado so far! i like to think i have a good gut feeling on when i can tell if someone is a bad person and i never got that with my time with him, he was always calm. understanding even when i talked like a humming bird as my brother would say haha. oh! he smiled alot during our time and…can i tell you a secret? sado has the most awesome smile in the world. if his smile were a superpower, i would think he would be the most powerful superhero in the world because of that…i think i went on for too long now so um yeah i do like sado…alot but it’s totally not a crush or anything because pfft, like i said i barely know him but i would like to know him!…i swear i’m not a weirdo”

send a ‘👄 + character name’ and my muse will talk about that character

[yongbokology]

pairings; baby daddy!junkook x baby momma!reader warnings; fluff <3, dad!jungkook, suggestive, nsfw language(?), teen pregnancy, probably some messed up grammar since this isn’t proof read at all.

THAT’S JUST MY BABY DADDY!  “Who that is? (That's just my baby daddy)”

[kook]

happy mother’s day 💗

[you]

thank you

[kook]

what are you and rosie doing today?

[you]

she woke up earlier than normal so now we’re making cookies

you watched on as your daughter took the measuring cup from your hand and poured it’s contents into the cookie batter. a small smile stretched across your lips as she voiced her excitement for putting in the last ingredient.

“done!” she grinned, showing off her rows of little teeth as well as spaces from the missing ones. from the way her eyes creased to the way her cheeks puffed, jungkook was evident all over her it was blinding.

“yes we are,” you helped her off the counter and brushed off your apron. “now all we have to do is wait for it to cook, by the time you finish your breakfast it should be done okay?”

with a small nod she took off into the living room to tend to her unfinished pancakes and bacon.

[kook]

save some for me pls :)

read 10:40am.

[kook]

alsonamjoonispickinguprosieby7somakesuretobereadyby8

read 10:40am.

you glared at your phone before glancing over to your baby girl who was currently occupied with the tv and finishing her food. was this his only way of getting you out the house? jungkook knew you well, too well. he knew you’d never willing go out with him somewhere unless rosie had a babysitter, even then you’d pull some excuse out of your ass just to avoid making plans with him.

it’s not like you hated jungkook, if anything you guys were okay for the most part. it was just jungkook’s schedule that got into the way of things. you knew how stressful being an idol was, you heavily took this into consideration when you made your decision on keeping the human growing inside of you. when you got pregnant by jungkook you’d known him no longer than .01 seconds. he was on vacation and the two of you met at a bar and hooked up. three weeks later you found yourself contacting bighit and they broke the news to jungkook who was taken by surprise.

he got an ear full from all six of his hyungs that day. three out of the six told him to tell you not to keep it, the other three were either on the fence or encouraged him to step up and be ready for whatever decision you made. you weren’t mad that they suggested you getting rid of it because you understood why. they were at the height of their career and knew the uproar from k-netizens that would come along with the news of the youngest member having a kid with a no name. you knew it would be even worse once they found out you weren’t in korea.

you got to meet jungkook again, 2 months later after bighit cleared his schedule putting him on hiatus, and the two of you listed the pros and cons and eventually came to the agreement you would be keeping it. jungkook was terrified out of his mind considering he didn’t know you and he wasn’t at all ready to be a father. he figured you were already going through a lot just two months in and never voiced his concerns but you knew. you could see it all over his face.

you reassured him that everything would be okay and if it really was too much for him then you’d raise your baby on your own. was it ideal? no. but what more could you do? you knew you wanted to keep it but the thought of being a first time mom scared the living crap out of you and if jungkook wasn’t going to step up then you’d go through all this on your own.

jungkook insisted though, he let you know that he wanted to be there every step of the way and even gave you his personal number. the boy really kept his word because he was there at almost every clinic check up/visit. when your best friend used your phone to call him as your water broke in the middle of the grocery store, he was already on his way, on a private plane to you and he arrived just in time to see his daughter being born. the rest of his members arrived some hours later and took turns meeting their new born niece.

jungkook really made it his business to see his daughter frequently. three times a month frequently. the two of you spoke whenever he wasn’t busy and spoke while he had your daughter.

you lathered your body up in shea butter lotion after drying yourself off and stepping out of the shower. it had been close to an hour since namjoon picked up rosie, you just finished your hair and makeup but now you paced back and forth in your room as you pondered on what to wear. jungkook didn’t give you any details nor did he mention the occasion. you didn’t want to underdress but you also didn’t want to overdress. you couldn’t decipher which one was worse.

lost in your own thoughts you kicked something, looking down to see a black box sticking out from under your bed. you rose a brow and picked up the sleek black box, placing it on your bed. you uncovered the box, hold out the black material that was inside. the black satin material unraveled to be the dress you wore to the bar where you first went jungkook. essentially the dress that made you a mother.

laying the dress on your bed you thought it would be a nice little gag to wear out tonight. you worried that the dress wouldn’t fit but all your worries went away when you easily slipped the dress on with no problem. satisfied with your attire, you admired yourself in the full length mirror, twisting your body in various angles to make sure you looked good all around. the dress fit perfectly.

[kook]

i’m outside

read 8:10pm.

[you]

coming

read 8:10pm.

you locked your phone and did some touch ups to your hair before slipping on your heels that jungkook gifted you some years ago. you flicked off the lights in your apartment and took a deep breath before opening the door to reveal your baby father looking like a tall glass of banana milk.

compared to the goofy teenager you met in that bar six years ago now stood before you as a man. his black silk button up complimented his broad yet slender shoulders, he sported black dress pants to match and his signature black boots. his hair was pushed out of his face, giving you a korean clark kent type vibe and his lips looked so good as a ring hung off his bottom one. he had more piercings and tattoos that decorated his skin from the last time you saw him but you absolutely weren’t complaining.

the second to last thing you noticed was the bouquet of flowers and box of heart shaped chocolates as well as a big plush of his bt21 character, cooky. and finally the last thing you noticed was the shocked expression written all over his handsome face. jungkook felt absolutely winded at the sight of you. he swallowed hard as he noticed the dress you chose to wear. he knew that dress all too well. it’s the same dress he tried not to rip off of you when he whisked you away back to his hotel room. you were stunning. just breathtaking. he couldn’t believe that he shares dna with you.

“jungkook…” you start.

“i know. i know you don’t like when i buy you shit but come on it’s mother’s day. i couldn’t not get you anything.”

you couldn’t help but smile. you felt like you were in high school all over again. you took the flowers, chocolates and cooky, placing it all on your couch before walking back to jungkook fishing his car keys out his pocket.

“the rest of the night awaits us baby momma.”

the two of you linked your arms as you began walking down the corridor of your apartment building.

“looking forward to it baby daddy”

[chocominnie]

Redemption  04 — JJK. (M)

→: This is book two to my story Desperado. Read that one before continuing on to read this one.

→ pairing: Mafia!Jungkook x reader

→ genre: Angst, smut , a bit of fluff

→ Word count: 4k

→ summary:  It’s been 4 years since everything that happened. If he could re-do everything he would, but cannot. With Won-Shik dead, and everyone’s back’s turned against him.. what can he do? You took a toll on him to the point where it’s hard to function without you and everyone’s concerned. Another gang has entered their teritory and is giving them a run for their money. The heir to the mafia thrown is now in charge with everyone waiting for his first big move. Yet, how can someone so broken inside take care of business though?

Warnings : This honestly isn’t for the light hearted and the weak. Drug dependency, drug mentions, high angst, mental illness, depression, anxiety, assault, gore, guns, usage of weapons, daddy kink, bigdick!jk, hair pulling, soft sex, rough sex, squirting, mouth fucking, overstimulation, consensual drunk/tipsy sex, protected & unprotected sex. I may be forgetting some so sorry in advance!

Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken.

As if the raging headache you woke up with wasn't enough, the lucid dreaming you had last night, due to the consumptions of so much alcohol, was just enough to send you over the edge once you’ve awaken. The sun blares through your window onto your face making your eyes strain and a single hand coming over to cover it. Slipping out a small groan of annoyance, you gradually pick yourself up to sit up correctly onto the bed. 

Last night was a lot for you to remember, but you sure as hell remember some of it. What you don’t remember is you asking Sungmin to stay the night with you. So to your surprise when you open your bedroom door, a shirtless Sungmin is up and moving around your kitchen. There he is with a single chest tattoo and muscles you never thought he would have. His biceps strong, and his abs are evident along with his v-line protruding out. You hadn't noticed his freshly tattoo’d left arm last night but in your defense he was wearing a long-sleeve shirt. You watch him whisk whatever is in that bowl with determination and the faint sound of a youtube video can be heard playing in the background.

The way his arms flex when he whisks, and his hair tied up messily into a small but decent sized bun with some stray strands of hair here and there, he looks way too good. That jawline of his flexes consistently, especially when he softly bites his lip and furrows his eyebrows. When he doesn’t understand something said from the youtube video, he reaches to play it back again. It’s as if he’s doing it on purpose because maybe, he knows you’re peeking from behind your door.

Nonsense. If he saw you he would have greeted you... right? You’re too caught up in your thoughts and dazed off to realize he has looked in your direction with amusement to see you peeking around like a lost puppy. It’s adorable. He doesn’t say anything though, Sungmin smirks to himself and continues to pour some sort of batter into a pan. 

He looks way too sexy doing that too.

Ultimately you decide to close the door because for whatever reason, blaming the liquor from last night, that familiar throbbing down in your region begins. You mentally curse yourself for getting all worked up over absolutely nothing but a man cooking. That man being Sungmin.. who’s cooking. Sungmin, the one you never wanted to persue things with because back then you felt guilty for liking two boys at once and he deserved someone better than you.

But that was back then.. and this is now.

Now, he’s in your home cooking you breakfast shirtless and he knows exactly what he’s doing because he did in fact see you. He saw you from the very beginning. Hell, he saw you last night when you were very much so drunk and started stripping and giggling in-front of him. Of course he didn't let you get far because when you started pulling off your pajama shirt is when he pulled it back down and dragged you to your room. You laid there sprawled on your bed giggling yourself to sleep. Needless to say, Sungmin did sleep on the couch to prevent another encounter from happening between you two. 

You can’t blame yourself though, Sungmin has turned into a fine man. As a woman yourself, it can’t be helped to have these lewd thoughts after witnessing a god himself in your kitchen preparing for you.. right? You hadn’t noticed you did not close the door fully, so when you bring your hand down to the hem of. your pajama pants and underwear, that breathy shadow peeps down at you. 

You hadn’t heard him come inside because you're too busy trying to inspect the wet mess you’d made inside your panties. That is, until that familiar voice speaks up once more, making you jolt.

“ Breakfast is ready.” He cheekily says, chuckling when he turns around to make his way out of the room.  The cold wall meets your head and you bang it several times softly out of embarrassment. Him catching you in the act was the least thing you need right now.

Tip-toeing out of your bedroom, you peak around the corner to your dining room table to see everything laid out perfectly. Cloud pancakes, fruit assortment, orange juice. He'd made your plate for you, the fruit sits onto of your pancake with a smiley face and whipped cream smile. It makes you giggle at the thought of Sungmin, a grown man, still having his childish ways.

“ Care to join me before it gets cold?”

Biting your lip, you can’t help but to still be flustered from getting caught. “ I can eat at the island counter..” You say, to avoid any further awkwardness between the two of you. 

Sungmin smiles, “ I missed that. You’re still adorable when shy. Listen I’ll forget about what I saw if I can have the honors of catching up with you, properly.”

Sounds like a deal to you. 

“ So you went back to...” Sungmin pauses before sticking some fruit in his mouth, waiting for you to finish. “ Canada. Then to NYU where I’m currently studying and doing the exchange program here.” 

He nods in amusement, eyes still watching you like a hawk to make sure you eat. “ Well, we completed highschool. I had transferred schools in high school to finish up while the rest of them stayed. College came along and nobody was close anymore, to be honest. Crystal does this candle light thing for you each year and that's when everyone comes together as a whole, except for Jungkook.”

You nearly choke on your pancake amongst swallowing it. Jungkook not coming to your candle-light? That one hurt. “ W-why doesn’t he come?”

Sungmin shakes his head lightly, grabbing the orange juice pitcher and pouring the sweet, citrus fruit juice into your glass cup. “ We beg him and he doesn’t want to each year. He’s... really fucked up about you. Heavier on the drugs and just stays in his office all day.”

“ And the kid?” You have to keep mentally remind yourself that she’s actually Jungkook’s sister and not daughter. You’d never imagine Jungkook being an older brother, hell even just a brother to begin with. 

“ Jeon Naeun , or Nari is what we call her. She’s 4 years old and gives him a run for our money, especially his. “ Sungmin chuckles, finishing up the last of his pancake. You take a sip of the juice and can’t help but to smile at that comment.

“ The two are inseparable. She’s the mini version of him but instead of being cold hearted she has now mastered the toddler manipulation by using her cuteness.”

Imagining Jungkook being a care-giver for his little sister only leads you to think of what kind of father he would be. Again, you’d never expect for him to even want a child but the thought of a big boss mafia man having a weakness for children is amusing to you. 

Yet Sungmin sits right infront of you and he can’t get enough of you. The way you smile, the way you talk, the sound of your voice, it’s all so nostalgic for him. Meeting you in high school was the highlight of his life back then. Now to have you, not dead, and cooking breakfast for you in your own apartment has him thinking things. Things about how he doesn’t want to lose you ever again, but he also understands this can be a lot for you and not to rush things and push your boundaries.

Sungmin breaks the small silence, “ Can I.. Can I take you out today? You left for a while and I think that you should at least get familiar with Seoul again. Theres this new art museu-”

An abrupt sound of hard knocking at the door cuts him off. It makes the two of you jump but you weren’t expecting any guests today at all. The only person who knows your apartment is Sejun and Zico.. and you hope and pray its not either of them and just a random package delivery. By the look on your face, Sungmin gets the memo that you didn’t know who was at the door. Getting up from his chair, he furrows his eyebrows walking over as the knocking gets persistent. 

Your heart feels like it can pound right out of your chest right now. Quickly, you grab the empty plates and used dishes and dash over into the kitchen where you can’t be seen. What if it’s Jungkook? What if he’s actually found you? Your hands tremble while scrubbing the dishes in the sink, the thoughts of the worst case scenario swarms through your head to the point where you tune out everyone. 

You don’t even hear the arguing at the door and the multiple footsteps shuffling inside until someone comes within your view, waving their hand in your face to snap you out of your numbing trance. The calling of your name seems to slowly bring you back to reality. 

“ Yn! Yn!”

Once your vision clears back up to the person calling your name, your eyes go wide in fear like a dear in headlights. It can’t be. How.. did he know to come here? The apartment is listed under Sejun’s name due to this exact reason of hiding your identity. There’s no way he could of asked around for you in the lobby because you speak to nobody there and they certainly don’t know your name. So how?

 The cup in your hand shatters onto the floor creating a glass breaking sound capturing everyone’s attention. Taking a look around your apartment, there’s Sungmin, another female, and that other male person with a concerned look on his face. Your throat gets that familiar sore lump in it, the one where you know you’ll cry any second but you can’t. Not in-front of them. 

You quickly crouch down onto the floor and begin picking up the glass pieces with your bare hands, sniffling to stop the stray tears from falling. “ Be careful, let me get it-”

“ No!” You push the hand away from you but in the process knick your finger against a stray shard of glass sticking up on the floor. You wince, harshly pulling your finger away and inspecting it. The blood seeps out rather quick but not life threatening. 

Sungming scoffs, “ I think you guys should leave.” He says, jogging over the kitchen sink, carefully avoiding the glass, to grab a wet paper towel to wrap your finger in.

You wanted nothing to do with anyone in this very exact moment. You just want to be alone again, and maybe meeting Sungmin last night and having him stay was a mistake. Foolish of you right? To not think about the consequences of your actions. He’s Jungkook’s brother for fucks sake. What did you think would happen?

“ We can’t. Jungkook knows.” is the next sentence that Casper says that makes you want to throw up. Jungkook knows about your whereabouts. If it wasn’t for Sungmin holding you while wrapping your finger and pressing on it, you’d of surely passed out by now. 

Sungmin’s beyond pissed. The red on his face shows it and the way he curses under his breath only for you to hear. “ Tell him to stay the fuck away from her, Casper.” He growls. 

He lets out a frustrated sigh and the woman next to him rubs his back to calm him down as well. You take notice of the dark red lipstick she wears upon her lips. Such a bold color. “ Knowing Jungkook, he won't stop. What she needs to do is pack up and go.. like yesterday.”

“ I’m sorry but who the fuck are you?” You narrow your eyes at the lady, getting up from Sungmin’s grip on you. She’s taken aback by your sudden dominance in your voice, but smirks knowing that you aren’t bold enough to take that any further. 

“ Val.. Casper’s wife and you must be the infamous Yn.” 

You’re not sure of this lady, and something about her makes you wonder. Since when has Casper been married? Casper also did not seem like the type to take a hand in marriage for someone. This is all too.. weird for you. Everyone seems to just had grown up and matured and you did miss it all. 

“ Can we discuss all this.. perhaps in the living room area?” She asks, pointing in the direction of your cutely decorated space. Uneasy but curious, you nod your  head slowly in approval. 

Once everyone has gathered on your grey “L” shaped couch, you made sure to sit closely next to Sungmin who puts his arm around you in support. Ironically he's the only one you trust and feel a bit more comfortable with. The last thing you wanted was a reunion.. let alone in your very own living room. 

“ So.. Yn.. you were supposed to stay as far away as humanly possible from Seoul. I thought we made a deal that you’d never come back as long as I provided for you financially for the remainder of your life.” Casper’s death gaze upon you would have killed you right now if looks could kill. 

“ She has every right to live the life she wants after what you and my brother did to her.” Sungmin fires back at him, the look of anger on his face only getting stronger. 

Throwing his head back and letting out a deep sigh, Casper is not surprised by his comment. “ Oh shut up Sungmin, you know it would’ve been best for her if she stayed put.” He shoots you another glare, “  Looks like the dead doesn’t rest after all huh.”

You had no words because it is true. You and your parents had made that deal with Casper, but that was four years ago and you're absolutely grown enough to make your own decisions without your parents input. 

“ I.. wanted to do the exchange program and I honestly don’t even look the same anymore. I had a few surgeries and thought if I stayed low-key.. I could graduate and go on with my life.” Which only part of that is true. Yes you had a few surgeries that made you look slightly different and not to mention the hair color change, but you can’t let them know the real reason you came back.

That’s going to ruin your plans. 

“ Yeah and how is that working out for you now hmm?” Casper’s not pleased with your dumb response. A deal is a deal and you broke the deal. “ I don’t need your money Casper. If you want it all back I’ll repay my debt but I am allowed to live my life freely!”

Casper lets out one of his sarcastic chuckles, “ Repay your debt? You were never indebted to me or any of the Jeons. I wanted you to live comfortable as possible. Keep the money. Go back to Canada.”

“ No.” It would be a waste of everything if you’d just up and left now. Besides, this is the first time you’ve been in the presence of someone you like. Back home in Canada you did make friends but only till you moved to NYC and you didn’t make much long-term ones there either.

“ Doll, you don’t understand how much Jungkook is really attached to you. He has multiple paintings of you, has kept your pictures, currently working on a sculpture of your face, and still has nightmares about you. He needs professional help and you being here isn’t really the best time to enter his life again, if that’s what you plan to do.”

Sculptures? Paintings? That’s a bit much.  You understand the kept pictures part but the rest does seem very drastic. You’ve never had someone that overly obsessed with you before. Your last boyfriend from Canada, before you had originally moved to Seoul, had only gotten professional portraits of you and him. Courtesy of his mother, it was only because you two had went to junior prom together. You two were just teenagers being teenagers. As for you and Jungkook, you two were just lost in lust and not knowing what you two were doing but just...doing it. 

You're an adult now, and independent one at that. So whatever you want to do, you can do it.

“ I’m staying here.” Your voice is firm enough to where they know that's your final decision. Sungmin squeezes your arm a bit, reassuring you and sticking right beside you. 

Casper lets out a deep sigh once again. He knew you were stubborn but thought you would have been past this phase. Its no use of arguing with you. Your consequences have actions and he did try to warn you. It’s above him now and since you want to make wrong decisions, this time he’ll let you. You reap what you sow. 

His tattoo’d hand rub’s his forehead in annoyance of your persistant answers. He’s tried his best and can’t do anymore. “ Fine. Just know, I tried to warn you.”

The silence and tension in the room could be cut like thick slice of cake. You’re content with your decision and can’t seem to understand why they think you can’t handle yourself by yourself. Casper stands up along with Val, the two look at you disappointed but sorry for you. Maybe they are right on this, maybe you didn't think it through.

“ Well, are you at least going to attend the reunion? The group... should know you’re alive if you want to continue living freely.” Casper holds his two fingers making quotation marks around the last two words. You roll your eyes at his remark.

“ Reunion?” You turn to Sungmin who’s currently escorting Casper and Val out the door. You didn’t expect for him to shoo them out so quickly but he says his goodbyes and the door finally closes. That beep sound gives you a wave of relief over your body knowing your home is now secured and locked. The anxiety that had once settled in you can be felt going away.

Leaning against the door, “ I wasn't going to go. I don’t really talk to anyone but my sister. I wanted to take you out because I wasn’t going to attend. The group was personally invited to attend, we got our invitations 3 weeks ago.”

“ Your parents still own that school?” From what you remember, Sungmin’s parents were the one that chose you and gave you the scholarship to attend that high school. 

He nods his head and deeply sighs once more, “ Unfortunately, yes. I dislike saying this but they covered up your death and Jungkook’s ass pretty well. To them and our class, Jungkook was also the victim as disgusting as it is. My parents couldn’t afford to lose their perfectly clean reputation, as you know they are also in the limelight as well.”

Of course. Jungkook being painted as the victim when you’re the actual victim yourself. It’s predictable at this point and he probably ran with that narrative until after he’d graduated and everyone moved on. 

“ Listen.. you don’t have to go. I really wasn-” “ I’ll go. It’s better they know im alive. I can’t keep faking my identity and pretending to be dead while im here. I just.. want nothing to do with Jungkook.” 

A lie. This is the perfect opportunity to lure Jungkook in. 

It catches Sungmin off guard when you say that. The least he expected is for you to agree to go near the people who betrayed you.  He thinks It can potentially be mentally unhealthy for you but also facing your fears could do you a bit better. It’s a 50/50 chance but not exactly a win-win situation.

Sungmin tilts his head to the side resembling a confused small puppy which makes you smile a bit. “ Are you sure?” He questions, still in disbelief.

No. No you aren’t. 

“ Yes.”

The day had gone by pretty fast hanging around Sungmin. He went back home to change his clothes after your guises conversation and came back fashionably late to pick you up after cleaning yourself up as well. The two of you had a pretty big reasonable amount of fun and catching up. It turns out Sungmin had learned English abroad for a bit as he also did an exchange program in the US his junior year. He revealed to you that he lives in the Jeon Mansion with his mom and Jungkook. You were worried about that as well but, Sungmin reassured you that he wouldn’t tell a soul where you live and will act like you two only meet up at cafes. You made him swear on it and if he breaks that promise he’ll be blocked on snapchat.

Now here you two are, standing outside of the school at 6pm after a day of driving around and Sungmin showing you some worthy instagram picture cafes and shopping places. You had bought a few things, nothing too over the top. Some new shoes, a couple of clothing items, and a brand new watch because you had been meaning to get a new one since your old one broke.

“ You sure you wanna do this?”

The school looks the same to you. It floods back memories when you two begin walking into the entrance. That same entrance where the Bangtan Boys came in and Jungkook stopped you because you were in his way of walking. The first time you had laid eyes on each other and then realized you both hated each other.  It still smells the same, clean but sweet. The school is vacant except for a few adult people here and there who seem to pay you no mind at all.

With each step you take down the hallway, you’re reminded of the memories you made. The lockers where you’d meet up with Ayami and Sungmin, the bathroom you came out of and Jungkook waited outside for you, and upcoming is the art class. The sound of voices and laughing can be heard the closer you get. Perhaps some left-over students from school today? Sungmin movements become a bit slower, as if he doesn’t want to pass the classroom. 

“ We can go back and visit the music room? If you want.”

Now you’re curious as to why he won't pass the room. Surely it’s just some teens right? You shake your head no with furrowed eyebrows, butterflies settling inside your stomach.  Swallowing hard, you take one last step towards the entrance of the art room and your stomach almost drops at the sight you see. 

The room is beautiful, it really did have a make-over, but the people inside shock you the most. You didn’t expect them to be here right now. You expected them to be coming later on, not lounging around the art room. Most of all, you weren’t ready to see him in general. He stands there by the window, hair longer than you remembered, ripped jeans, doc Martens, a black shirt and leather jacket. When he sets eyes on you, he doesn’t freak out but he just looks at you with sorrow in his eyes. He understands that this moment is could break or make anything so he keeps his mouth closed while admiring that you’re really in-front of him. The rest stare at you with shock, as if they’ve really seen a ghost.

Crystal is the first to curse under her breath with wide eyes and a smile. She runs over to you with open arms and when you do connect with them physically, it feels weird to hug her back but she understands this is a lot to process. 

“ I knew it was you. I knew it was you when I saw you in Manhattan! Holy fuck you’re actually alive!” Her grip only gets harder, as if she could squeeze you to death like an orange till you burst. You watch Sungmin prop himself up on the desk and sit quietly. He feels awkward in all this, and now you feel bad.

“ So you faked your death. How does it feel to be selfish?” 

You knew that one was coming from him. Turning towards the voice, you decide not to fuel the fire this time. “ I’m sorry. I also did not have a choice given the circumstances..” 

The room falls silent. Jungkook, Namjoon, Crystal, Yoongi, Sungmin, and Ayami. They’re all here. All staring at you as you stare at the ground out of pity. Maybe this whole faking death thing was a bit far. Casper could have came up with a better idea than this. Your past was soon to catch up to you. 

“ I forgive you.” Crystal breaks the silence, smiling at you to make you feel somewhat better. “ So do I. I’m sorry for contributing into that situation as well. No words can express how deeply affected I am from it and I do hold myself accountable.” 

You’d like to accept his apology, you really do, but at this moment you cannot as the wounds still hurt. The traitor, Ayami sits in the corner of the room at a desk. Her arms crossed as she looks outside the window, barely paying you any mind. Although you dislike her presence as she did betray you, It hurts a lot to know she honestly doesn’t care about you. 

“ I’m not sorry. You don't know the damage that you’ve done to Jungkook do you?” Yoongi’s voice is stern yet pissed off. With every inch he gets closer to you, it makes you want to ball up and run away.

Until you two are inches apart from each-other and he lets it all out on you.

“ We had to deal with him for years of depression, anxiety, he doesn’t sleep, barely fucking eats, and our business is possibly ruined all because of you. We don’t have a fucking sane enough leader because you wanted to be selfish. We all thought you were dead. Fucking DEAD. You don’t just do shit like that! You could of just left Seoul quietly but to be that fucking dramatic? Come on. Everyone was affected by your drama scene and now you think you can magically just show up like things are okay? It's not.”

It can’t be helped that the tears are flowing from your eyes and the quiet sobs let themself out. You feel just as guilty as they are and it sucks because you’re the victim and they aren't.  Coming to this was wrong. Now at least they know you’re alive.

“ I.. should go. I just wanted to apologize for my actions.”

“ Wait, you don’t have to go yn.”

But it was too late. You quickly walk out the room as fast as you can while wiping the hot tears coming down your face. People in the hallway look at you funny but you keep your head down. That familiar feeling in your chest settles in. It hurts. It feels like your heart has broken into a million pieces. None of this was how you expected it to go however you weren’t even supposed to come anyways. 

By now your feet are tired of walking and each time you blink its blurry. This place looks familiar. The flowers align the trail along with some trees. The school’s little garden trail. Mascara runs down your face. It hurts. It hurts a lot. Being in front of everyone like that was a bold move and to have Yoongi yell at you was embarrassing as well. The pain in your chest feels like someone is stabbing you over and over in your heart. Your heartstrings feel like they can give out any second. At this point you didn’t care who sees you sobbing loudly. All you want is to take everything back about what you said and should have just agreed to stay home.

“ Yn?”

You ignore it. The sobbing becomes louder and your keep trying to wipe your swollen eyes to rid the tears. It doesn’t stop.

The person sighs, slowly inching closer. You know that scent all too well. It’s him. What is he even doing here anyways? Why did he think it was okay to follow you out here? Something touches your hand but you turn around to face him and jerk your hand away. He was offering you his handkerchief. You look at him with hatred in your eyes. This all feels too familiar.

Jungkook sighs, nodding his head slowly while retreating his hand. “ I’m sorry. I want to apologize to you in a million different ways but I understand that we’re broken. I broke you. I did those things to you. I take responsibility. No words can explain how badly I fucked up. If I can go back and change everything I would in a heartbeat and do everything correctly.”

You take a minute to analyze his face. You’ve never seen his soft side of Jungkook. The way his face tells it all, lets you know he is sincere. To know he’s also been suffering makes you feel even more guilty. You won't accept it though. He will never get an acceptance of any sort from you. 

“ I hate you.” You sniffle. 

“ I understand.”

“ No Jungkook, I really fucking hate you.”

Was all you said before grabbing his jacket to pull him down into a passionate kiss. The two of your tongues fight for dominance as his left hand goes to your waist and his right up to your face. He can’t help himself but to deepen the kiss. Your lips taste like pure honey to him and he wants to devour you right then and there and never let you go.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.. 

[aquagustd]

gold - MYG | M

↣ you're in love with Min Yoongi, yes, you are, but why do you keep thinking of the boy who broke your heart into a million pieces when you should be focusing on the one who's mending it.

pairing: yoongi x reader (past jungkook x reader)

genre: angst, fluff, smut, bff2l

word count: 17K

warnings/tags: college au, roommate au, unrequited love au, a bit of slow burn, pining, very soft Yoongi, possessive Yoongi, Y/N & Yoongi communicate ~telepathically~, sleepy kitten, voyeurism, explicit smut- video call sex, PDA, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, lots of hickeys, oral (f & m), cum eating, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, hair pulling, spanking, breast kink, soft smut, praise kink, slight impregnation kink, fingering, protected sex

a/n: this can be read alone, but it’s apart of the ATG universe and a lot of references are made to past scenes.

∞

To love someone who doesn’t love you back takes strength. How selfless can one be to give and give and give, keep on giving without wanting anything in return. Knowing that the other person is oblivious to their generosity, they take without even acknowledging the fact. But they aren’t to blame. It should be you, the lover, the giver with no limits, who’s to blame. Your heart is weak, battered with each day that passes, exhausting the fruits of your love.

And then there are days where you would want to give up, throw in the towel, say ‘I’m done,’ done with loving this person who is so cruel not to love you back, but they wouldn’t know. They don’t know how you feel, how each smile is like a puncture to the heart, each laugh has them doubling over with pain because it’s just that. Painful. You’re done inflicting pain on yourself with no hesitation.

Then…it might be when you’re doing something as mundane as cleaning your car or washing the dishes or on your daily commute to work, you remember a sweet memory, the moment you knew you fell in love with them, your surroundings seemed normal but inside, you felt like you were levitating, like they’ve suddenly shot beams through your soul and are claiming you as theirs, but no one else saw it because you felt it. You don’t want to give up, not when that person makes you feel alive, and especially when you know that they’re worth it.

That type of love has someone beaten and curled up in a corner, wanting to step out and say something, anything, profess your love but the fear of rejection is what keeps you safe in the dull, little corner. That’s how Yoongi feels right now, as he watches you bake, tongue poking out in concentration, elbow sticking up as you twist the spatula in the bowl of icing. He sighs dreamily, fist pressed under his cheek, sitting at the other end of the counter, but you don’t hear it, thankfully, you’re too busy tasting the icing.

You smack your lips together and he waits for your comment, but it doesn’t come, instead you drag the same finger on the side of the bowl and hold it up to his face. Maybe you didn’t notice that it was the same finger you had in your mouth a moment ago, but he notices, and it has his heart leaping to his throat. You’ve done this plenty of times before, but it still feels like the first, especially when your finger gets trapped between his lips and he licks off the icing, nothing to you, so much to him.

“How is it?”

Yoongi thinks for a while, trying not to blurt out praises when the icing didn’t even reach his tongue yet, but he doesn’t need to lie.

“It’s good. Tasty.”

He sees your eyes flicker from the bowl to his face, shoulders slouching.

“I think it needs more orange zest.”

He shrugs, nodding to the white creamy mixture, “I think it tastes just fine.”

Knowing the perfectionist that you are, he hears you grumble as you slap on the icing and add the finishing touches to the cake, so he walks around the counter and places his hands on your shoulders, pushing you lightly in the direction of the hallway.

“Go change. I’ll clean up here.”

Peering over your shoulder, you pout as he moves you away from your masterpiece.

“Okay, but it needs to set in the fridge for a while.”

He nods, “okay. I got it.”

Yoongi rolls up his sleeves and gets to scrubbing the bowls, you aren’t a messy baker that’s why he doesn’t mind cleaning up when you’re done. He’s excited for tonight, to others it may seem like a bunch of friends hanging out but it’s the first time you agreed to hanging out with his friends. His friends as in, Hoseok and Namjoon. But it’s not like you didn’t hang out with Namjoon before. Who is he kidding? He’s excited to hang out with you, in a place other than your apartment.

It might be fun, sitting around, chilling at the beach or wherever Hoseok plans to hang out. You insisted on baking something and Hoseok said he’s been feeling for cake, as usual, Yoongi helped you out with choosing the flavor. He and Hoseok have similar taste.

He hears your room door shut and he grabs his keys and makes his way to the front door.

“Hey, could you zip me up?”

“Su-“ Yoongi’s words die on his tongue when he catches a glimpse of your exposed back, hair swung across your shoulder, baby pink bra clasp peeking through. It’s not just the fact that he can see your…skin, but the dress you’re wearing has him taking a deep breath as he approaches you, fingers shaking as he pulls the zipper between his fingers and drags it all the way up, with a satisfying zip.

You spin around and pat his shoulder, his breath hitches when he notices that you’re wearing lip gloss. This is the first time you’re wearing lip gloss, well, this is the first time he’s seeing you with lip gloss on. He knows you prefer…matte? He thinks. But now it’s going to be even more difficult for him to keep his eyes anywhere else and not on your lips without looking like a horny teenager. And if his friends take notice of his weird behavior, he knows he’ll be done for.

That’s why, on the ride to Hoseok’s apartment, he doesn’t look at you as you speak, preparing himself for later, when there’s others around to scrutinize him.

“Here,” he takes the cake from your hands, “you’re wearing heels. Wouldn’t want you to trip on the way up.”

He feels your hand slide along his shoulders, breath hitching when you hug his arm, “thanks Yoongs.”

Yoongs. There it is again. How can he resist you when you’re so cute, but at the same time he wants you to have his ba-

“Hyung!”

Hoseok takes the cake from his hands and ushers you inside his home. Immediately, Yoongi’s smile sags into a frown when he sees Taehyung and Jimin standing at the kitchen table, Taehyung’s eyes widen when they land on you and Yoongi’s fist clenches when he starts showering you with compliments.

“Hyung,” Jimin hugs Yoongi and pats his back, drink sloshing around in his cup.

“Hey. I didn’t know you guys were gonna be here.”

Jimin laughs, “what? Why wouldn’t we be here?”

“I just-“

“Hyung,” Taehyung walks toward Yoongi, you follow close behind, “doesn’t Y/N look pretty today?”

This little shit.

“Yes,” Yoongi keeps his gaze on Taehyung’s smug face, “I already told her.”

He hears you laugh, “what? No, you didn’t.”

He glares at you, “yes I did.”

“Ohhh, I get it. I get it,” you turn to Taehyung, “Yoongi and I think we might have some kind of telepathic connection.”

Taehyung cocks an eyebrow, “how?”

“Well,” Yoongi sees Taehyung watch your movement as you hook your arm into his, tugging him closer to you, “we literally, always say the same thing at the same time. And our restaurant choices always clash. Like the same day that I feel like eating sushi, he’d say he was feeling for sushi too! Or he could say he wants lamb skewers and I’d say I wanted that too!”

Yoongi grins at you, pinching your cheek as your eyes disappear with your smile.

“Hmm. Hyung? Maybe you should use that connection more.”

Yoongi bites on his bottom lip, trying desperately to keep his composure. Jimin pulls you into the lounge and Taehyung tries to follow them, but Yoongi pokes a finger into his shoulder. He takes a step back, mouth hanging open.

“What?”

“I swear, if you don’t shut up. I’m gonna bea-“

“Chill, hyung. It was just a joke.”

Yoongi nods and lets him pass, knowing that Taehyung just likes to annoy him.

You’re sitting on the couch between Namjoon and Jimin, Yoongi grabs a chair and sits on the opposite end of the room.

“Everyone’s here,” Namjoon grins, head swivelling around to spot Taehyung.

“Except Seokjin-hyung.”

Taehyung speaks from his spot on the floor, “and Jungkook.”

Yoongi sees your face fall, fiddling with the beads on your purse. He knows you miss him, he misses Jungkook too. The last few weeks that he spent with the two of you was peaceful. He just wishes he knew what goes through your mind when someone mentions him. Because you don’t speak for the next ten minutes, lost in your thoughts, no one else notices.

“I’m glad he isn’t here,” Taehyung shrugs, “caused enough trouble here then left.”

Namjoon laughs, “he caused trouble? You should be the last one talking, Taehyung-ah.”

Yoongi nods, waiting for Taehyung’s snarky comment, seeing Jimin laugh and nudge your shoulder, but you give a half-hearted smile.

“It’s not a joke, Jimin.”

“Yoongi.”

“No, Hobi. Everyone makes it like a joke every time this comes up, but no one will consider the fact that none of you even have the right to joke about it. Jungkook was misguided and he got sick, he’s doing better, and he isn’t here now. Let’s leave him there.”

Namjoon sighs, rubbing his forehead, “yeah. I’m kind of glad that Ara is off his back.”

“Still can’t believe he isn’t the father.”

Jimin kicks Taehyung’s shin, “why can’t you believe it? We all knew she was sleeping around.”

Yoongi hears you clear your throat, he rushes to change the subject, “anyway,” he claps to get everyone’s attention, “where are we going?”

Hoseok laughs, “nowhere. We can chill on the roof, if you want.”

“What? I thought we were gonna head to the beach or something.”

When Namjoon leaves the couch to fetch the snacks, Yoongi springs up from the chair and sits down next to you.

“Hi,” he leans in close, shooting you a smile. You smell so damn good. You smell good everyday but the perfume you’re wearing tonight makes him want to eat you up.

“Hey,” the smile you give him doesn’t reach your eyes.

His eyebrows pinch together, hoping your mood isn’t spoiled after the conversation from earlier. He’s your friend before anything else. So, he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him.

“You good?”

You nod against his chest, “yeah. Just tired.”

He dips his head to look at your face, “are you sure?”

You punch his shoulder, pulling away from him, “yes!”

He chuckles, pinching your cheek lightly, eyes glued to your lips. He hears Hoseok clear his throat from behind him, so he sits back against the couch, sniffling a bit as he rubs the side of his nose with his knuckle. But he can’t escape, you lean back with him, settling under his arm, leaning into his side.

Taehyung was watching the whole exchange, “Y/N…Is Yoongi your new best friend?”

You look up at Yoongi, narrowing your eyes at him, he mirrors your action, trying not to be weird.

“No…”

Yoongi’s heart sinks a bit, he knows that you haven’t really said anything about your friendship, but he hoped that you might’ve built a close bond, he can feel it. He wondered if you could feel it too. And not only because he’s in love with you.

“He’s more than my best friend.”

Taehyung and Yoongi share the same expression, you seem to notice, and you wave your hands in the air, laughing to yourself.

“No, no. Not like that…I can’t explain it.”

Yoongi blinks at you, hoping you would explain it because he can hear his heart pound in his ears.

“Oh, so you mean like a brother?”

You laugh, covering your mouth with your hand, silky hair covering your face. Yoongi joins in, despite not knowing why you’re laughing. Just because you’re so pretty when you laugh.

“No! Not like a brother. I don’t know,” Yoongi’s eyes widen a fraction when you turn to him, eyes scanning his face, he hopes his face isn’t as red as he feels, “Yoongi is more than my best friend. My closest friend, I think. But not like…a brother or anything.”

“Thank you,” Yoongi blurts out, knowing his cheeks is definitely red now. You can’t explain your relationship, because you feel the connection too. Unspoken. That’s what he thinks. But he remembers that you called Taehyung more than your best friend too. Your family.

“Aw hyung! Look at your face.”

Yoongi places his palms over his cheeks, “stop it!”

“Yoongi gets shy when anyone says anything about him,” he hears Hoseok say, Yoongi makes a mental note to thank him later.

You peel Yoongi’s hands away, cooing at his scrunched-up face.

“I know. He’s so cute when he’s shy. That’s why I like to get him flustered.”

No. Please don’t.

Yoongi thinks he might combust, that’s how hot he feels and when Namjoon returns with the snacks and gestures for everyone to follow him to the rooftop, he’s the first to leave his seat and make his way out of the warm apartment. He hears you call out for him to wait for you, and he has no choice but to stand outside the apartment, staring down at his shoes when you bump into him as you walk up the stairs.

“You know I’ve never been here before. Your old apartment,” you chuckle, taking careful steps with your heels.

“Yeah,” he laughs, stuffing his hands in his jeans pockets, “I didn’t realize that.”

A gust of wind sweeps the skirt of your dress upward and Yoongi scrambles to the floor, wrapping his arms around your legs, holding your skirt down, hearing everyone laugh at him, including you.

“Uh, Yoongi,” he presses his forehead to your knee, laughing at his own stupidity, “I’m wearing tights under. It’s okay.”

He feels you scratch the top of his head, uncaring of his clothes that is now covered in dirt and soot. Begrudgingly, he lets go off you and stands up to his full height.

“Sorry.”

You shake your head, “it’s okay.”

He sees you rub your arms, gazing up at the moon, “it’s so beautiful up here. This is the view you ditched to live at my shitty apartment?”

“I get an even better view.”

“What?”

Yoongi points at a random building, “no I was just saying, the view at our apartment isn’t bad. We see all the cute cats.”

You nod, “yeah. You’re right. I want a cat.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was thinking…I need a cute pet in my life, but I don’t think our landlord allows pets.”

Yoongi hums, thinking about giving the landlord a call and enquiring about the policies for pets.

“Over here!”

Yoongi spins around to see the rest of the guys waving them over, he stares down at your open palm, wondering how it would feel to hold your hand as you walk to the other end of the rooftop. He notices you shivering a bit.

“Are you cold?”

You shake your head, taking a swig from the cup Namjoon handed you, “it’s okay. I’m not that cold.”

Yoongi wants to kick himself for choosing to ditch his jacket before they arrived at Hoseok’s place.

“Y/N, you’re graduating this year?”

“Yep,” you wink at Namjoon, “we’re graduating and thanks to Namjoon, I already have a job from this month.”

Namjoon waves a hand dismissively, “you did it all by yourself and plus, you needed some persuasion.”

Yoongi hands you the sour worms, “I think I deserve some thanks too.”

You grin, “thank you for convincing me to take the offer.”

He puffs out his chest, “thank you.”

Yoongi takes the time to appreciate the silence, the soft howl of the wind brushes past him as he tilts his head back, staring up at the stars. The silence doesn’t last too long, however, because Taehyung wants to play a drinking game and you’re all sitting in a circle.

“I’ll go first,” you hug your knees to your chest, holding your cup in one hand, “uhmm…let’s start simple. Never have I ever…peed in the shower…”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, “seriously?” And proceeds to take a sip of his drink.

“EW! Oh my God.”

Yoongi sees Hoseok take a sip.

“As a kid!”

You shrug, “fair enough. Okay. Who’s next? Jimin.”

Jimin taps his chin, “ooh! Never have I ever had sex in the movie theatre.”

Yoongi watches you suck your lips in, holding your cup to your chest, while the rest of them take a sip from their cup.

Yoongi wags a finger in Hoseok’s face, “I remember.”

“Okay,” Namjoon pats his thigh, “my turn. Never have I ever…cheated on a test.”

Everyone groans, and takes a sip, including you and Yoongi’s mouth hangs open, teasing you a bit while you laugh.

“Never have I ever been in love,” Taehyung takes a sip of his drink.

Yoongi sees you take a swig from the corner of his eye, and he holds the rim to his lips too, tipping his head back as the liquid streams down his throat.

“Yoongi! You never told me you were in love.”

Yoongi shakes his head, “isn’t there like a rule where we aren’t supposed to discuss the answers or something.”

He laughs when you shove his shoulder, “but you were judging me because I cheated on a test before!”

“I need a refill,” Taehyung fills his cup and gestures for Hoseok to continue.

“Never have I ever,” Hoseok’s face lights up, “gotten a lap dance.”

Hoseok is the only one that takes a sip and Yoongi hears you mumble.

“I’ve given one…”

“Really,” his throat feels dry, gaze dragging across your figure as he imagines you giving him a lap dance.

You shrug, “just once.”

Yoongi wants to know who that lucky guy was, he’d like to shake his hand or maybe give him daggers from afar.

Hoseok pats Yoongi’s back, “your turn.”

He thinks of the things he wants to know the most about you, something he can’t ask you directly.

“We don’t have all night, hyung.”

“Uhmmm…when was the-“

“That’s not how it works!”

Taehyung slaps his forehead, while Jimin falls back on the cement, tears streaming down his face from how hard he’s laughing.

“Hey! Give him a chance,” you place your hand on his bicep, explaining the rules of the game all over again.

Yoongi knows how the game works, he was under pressure because all eyes were on him, yours especially.

“Okay. Never have I ever…told someone I love them without meaning it.”

Yoongi sees Taehyung, Jimin and Namjoon take a sip, and he does too. A part of him knew that you wouldn’t.

Yoongi slings your arm over his shoulder, helping you up your apartment stairs.

“I promise,” your breath touches his face, thick with alcohol, “I didn’t expect to get drunk tonight.”

He chuckles, placing your heels on the floor to get his keys from his pocket.

“Here,” you thrust your purse in his direction and he opens it, rummaging for the keys.

When he’s about to close the shiny bag again, something catches his eye.

Jungkook’s tag from the time he spent in the hospital. Your head hits his shoulder and he’s broken out of his thoughts, rushing to get the door open and get you to bed. Your lips graze his neck, he swallows, trying to quiet his thoughts, dragging you all the way into your room and helping you under the blanket.

“You smell nice,” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, nose hitting his chin.

“Uhm, thank you. Let’s sleep now, okay. Goodnight.”

Yoongi would have offered you a glass of water, but he needed to get away from you. When your scent alone is enough to intoxicate him. He turns on the shower to its coldest setting and locks the bathroom door. He hates himself every time he thinks of you when he’s sweaty under his sheets, chasing his release, images of you flashing behind his lids. And he won’t hate himself more, when you’re on the other side of the wall, sleeping peacefully while his mind is filled with wicked thoughts of you. He lets the cold water pelt against his back, calming his senses.

He doesn’t know how if he can hold himself back anymore, his feelings chew at him a little more each day. You need to know that his every waking thought is clouded by you, your mannerisms, your cute little habits, your oblivious touches. But it’s the same mantra each night, and he goes to bed with more memories to replay in his head, until they lull him off to sleep.

Yoongi is sitting at the kitchen table, scrolling through Twitter when he hears your familiar shuffle down the hallway, greeting him with a slightly dim smile. He loves when you dress all smart casual for work, hair up in a loose bun.

“I feel like shit. Could you give me a ride to campus today?”

He nods, lifting the mug to his lips as he keeps his eyes on the screen.

“I’m heading to the studio today.”

You turn on the stove and grab a frying pan, “yeah? Did that agency contact you yet?”

“No,” he tries not to let the disappointment seep into his voice, “it’s okay. I’ll just try with someone else if this doesn’t work out.”

You prepare a plate as you fry the eggs, asking him if he wants some but he shakes his head.

“But you really wanted this one to come through.”

He sighs, “yeah. But that’s life…If they like my work, I wouldn’t need to finish this degree. I’d be set.”

You pull out the chair and set your plate of eggs on the table, taking your usual seat at the opposite end.

“But you should finish this degree, you’re graduating this year too. Just a few more months.”

“Yeah,” he rinses his mug and heads for the shower. Four years would go to waste when he’s this close to graduating and he drops out. If he gets this job, he wouldn’t need to spend his days in a musty studio with bad wifi, he’ll get a better working space in Geom’s building. He could even move to the other side of town, but he wouldn’t do that. Of course not.

“Do you need me to fetch you after?”

You unclick your seatbelt and grab your bag from the backseat, “nah. I’m heading to the offices with Namjoon later.”

He smiles, “okay. See you later then.”

“Bye Yoongs.”

On his drive to the studio, he thinks about what he saw in your purse. Jungkook’s tag from the hospital. He knows that you don’t use that sparkly purse every day, so you must keep it with you whenever you go. It makes his heart thud in his chest, after everything that happened, all the drama and fuss, you still keep him close to you. You still love him, he knows you do. Jungkook is the name that must not be spoken, like it conjures up painful memories you wish to forget but at the same time, you hold on to them.

Yoongi hopes that one day he can get you to really, fully open up to him, and he hopes that he can do the same. Until then, he will continue to write and convey his feelings in his songs.

He hears someone knock on his studio door, so he pulls off his headphones. Smiling a bit when he sees Suha.

“Hiii,” she hugs Yoongi and sits on the black couch in the corner, making herself comfortable like every other time.

“Hey,” he pulls the chair toward his desk and puts his headphones back on.

“You’re so rude. I came here to talk to you. You know.”

He rolls his eyes, letting his headphones fall around his neck and spinning around in his chair, “what is it?”

She scoffs, tossing her burnt orange hair over her shoulder, “I just came to have a chat with my friend. Is that asking for too much?”

Yoongi would say that, yes, it is too much, because he knows that she has a crush on him, and she isn’t subtle. It bothers him because he’s not interested, but there’s no reason for him to be impolite.

“Okay,” he folds his arms, “speak.”

“Well, how was your weekend?”

“Awesome,” he glares at her, hoping she would leave so that he can get back to work.

“Ugh, won’t you ask about mine?”

“How was your weekend, Suha?”

She grins, “it was nice. I had loads of fun with my girls at some party, I can’t remember whose birthday it was. But anyway-“ she hooks a foot around the leg of his chair and wheels him closer to her, face a few inches away from his, tugging on the lapels of his jacket “-there was this guy. He was hitting on me, and he wanted to take me home.”

Yoongi sets his gaze on her brown eyes and not her cleavage that’s on display for him, arms still folded, head pressing into the leather of his chair, smelling the perfume he knows will linger in his studio for the next two hours.

“Is that so?”

She nods, tracing a finger down his jaw, “but I said no. Ask me why?”

He sighs, wondering why he entertains her when he knows where this is headed, but he’s forced to.

“Why?”

“I told him that I couldn’t go home with him because there’s this other guy.”

“Didn’t think you were the loyal type.”

“Ugh Yoongi,” her eyes roll to the back of her head, “you know what happens to me when you say shit like that.”

Yoongi tries to spin around and return to his abandoned track when she curls her fingers around his neck and presses her lips to his. He can taste her chapstick, coconut. He places his hands on her shoulders and pushes her back on the couch, gesturing to the door when he moves away, nudging the mouse around to bring the computer screen back to life.

He hears her huff, heels pressing into the floor, “you’re such a tease.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, knowing how differently everything would play out if the roles were reversed. He doesn’t understand why he lets her enter his studio, oh right, her father owns the building, and he needs this space until he finds a proper job. Maybe that isn’t the only reason. She’s pretty, and he likes the attention. He can still taste the coconut on his lips, he wipes his mouth on his shoulder, remembering the last time he kissed someone. Over a year ago, his last girlfriend, Micha, the beginning of the end for him. How he broke up with her because he didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone when he couldn’t get someone else out of his mind. Months have passed, and you’re still living in his head.

He wonders if you’ve eaten yet. He knows that you and Namjoon go out for lunch together. He hopes you have a good day, that no one is mean to you, that everything runs smoothly at work, that the universe is always on your side. Just like that, he got distracted.

Straightening his posture, he gets back to the track he was working on. Immersed in his sounds, he almost misses the incessant vibration coming from his phone that’s sitting to the side of the computer. He wants to ignore it, but the thought that it might be the agency makes him yank off his headphones and answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Is this Min Yoongi?”

He swallows, “yes.”

“Congratulations, you have been accepted into Geom age-“

Yoongi bites his fist, banging his foot on the ground as he cuts the call, a notification from his banking app catches his attention. Stating that his account has been topped up with a hefty amount. He grabs his cap, and USB and whatever else he needs to take with him and zooms out of the building. He’s so happy, he probably wouldn’t mind if someone slapped him right now. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. Well, actually he does. The first thing he gets to, is grocery shopping, because the apartment is in desperate need of food. He even picks up a huge bouquet and a pretty vase to keep on the kitchen counter. Of course, he texts Hoseok to let him know, and he’s so impatient to give you the news but he’ll wait until you get home.

“Tulips?”

He jumps up from the couch and makes his way to you, shuffling from foot to foot, “yeah, they were pretty.”

“They are pretty.”

Following you into the kitchen, he watches your eyes bug out when you see the grocery bags sitting on the kitchen floor, scanning each one.

“None of this would matter if you didn’t get ice-cream.”

He laughs, “already in the freezer.” Baby.

This is the time where he loves to admire you the most, all sweaty from a long day in the office. But he doesn’t get to appreciate your ethereal sight tonight because of his jitters.

“I…uhm, I have something to tell you.”

You whip your head around, “what is it, Yoongs?”

He grabs your shoulders, “I got in!”

Your hands fly to your mouth, “really?”

He nods, burying his face in your shoulder when you hug him, “congratulations! I knew it!”

“Thank you,” he tightens his hold around your body, breathing in your scent.

When he pulls away, hands still on your shoulders, he sees your eyes flicker to his lips, breath hitching, ever so slowly, he leans in, thinking that this is it. The moment of truth, finally, he’ll know if you have feelings for him or not and maybe you will too. His eyes flutter shut, but when his nose touches yours, you clear your throat and pull away, crouching down and lifting a bag to set on the counter.

“Let’s…uhm, let’s set these in the cupboard.”

Yoongi feels like pulling his hair out, he feels like smacking himself in the face. How could he be so stupid? In a moment of happiness, when everything feels like it’s coming together for him, you would suddenly have feelings for him? Shoulders sagging a bit, he helps you unpack the groceries, lips pursed, trying not to look at your face.

“I hope we have enough space,” you laugh, placing the almond milk in the refrigerator.

Yoongi stares at the back of your head, how he wishes he could use that telepathic power you always talk about. And for the rest of the evening, you eat in silence, silence around you but it’s the complete opposite in his head. He can’t help but feel like you must think that he tried to take advantage of you. Another best friend, that has feelings for you. He didn’t plan on becoming your close friend, maybe he did want to go beyond a friendship, but he didn’t think that you would be eating together, living together, literally doing everything together almost every day. He can’t help but feel a little dependent on you, in a way that can affect his moods. He knows that it’s the end for him, and he doesn’t know if there’s a way out.

You think about last night, about Yoongi, and his pouty lips, how they puckered when he leaned in close. Everything that happened between the two of you, since the beginning, replays in your head. Did he have feelings for you since then? Was that why he got close to you? Why he helps you out so much? That can’t be it. He’s sweet to everyone, he was sweet to Jungkook. He even paid his hospital bills. And that brings you back to him.

Jungkook. The boy who trots in your head like a circus monkey. You wish you could get rid of him, you wish you could, but you don’t know how to. Last night, all you could think about was Yoongi, and the fact that he might have feelings for you, that he’s your close friend but he wants to be more than that. He wanted to kiss you. But Jungkook was the one you saw in your dreams, and you woke up, reminded of the fact that he’s far away, but even if he was near, you couldn’t be together.

“Hey!”

Namjoon enters your office, patting your head as he passes you.

“Doing good?”

You sigh, “yeah.”

He nods, “good,” and spins around to exit the mostly quiet space, but you call out for him, making him poke his head through the doorway.

“Can I…ask you something?”

Namjoon is Yoongi’s close friend, he may or may not know something. It’s worth a try to ask him if he might know something. Because it’s niggling at the back of your mind, and you’re usually done with your spreadsheets by now, but you can’t seem to get a single piece of work done.

He walks toward you, placing his arm on the chair next to yours, “what’s up?”

“It’s about-“ you meet his concerned stare “-Yoongi.”

Sucking his lips in, he turns on his heel and tries to sprint away from you, but you grab his arm and yank him down on the chair.

“Why why why? WHY are you running away?”

His head falls forward, shoulders shaking a bit as he laughs, “you know I can’t keep my mouth shut.”

You raise an eyebrow, “why would you want to keep your mouth shut?”

He doesn’t respond, and you flick his forehead, banging your fists on his shoulders lightly.

“Please tell me! Whatever you know! I’ll take anything.”

“Wait,” he lifts his head, “did something happen?”

You lean back in your chair, glancing at the screen that’s on sleep mode.

“Kind of…He tried to…kiss me?”

He laughs, loudly, mouth wide open very hyena-like, and you smack his shoulder.

“It’s not funny!”

“Hyung tried to kiss you?”

You nod, lips in a pout, “and I don’t know I…wanted to kiss him too?”

You only realize what you said when you hear your voice, and your eyes widen while Namjoon shakes his head, leaning forward and placing one hand on his thigh.

“Then why didn’t you?”

You rub the tips of your nails together, watching the movement.

“Ah,” you see him nod from the corner of your eye, “I think I know why.”

You glare at him, and he holds his arms up placatingly.

“I won’t say it.”

He sighs, grabbing your attention, “since the cat’s out of the bag…kind of. Hyung really, really, really likes you.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat.

“And I’m surprised he lasted this long, usually he would move on to someone else if he can see that you don’t like him back.”

“But I-“ you blink at him, trying to put your thoughts into words that actually make sense “-I do like him back. But I’m confused.”

Namjoon pats your head, “okay. But don’t tell him that. You’ll make him confused too. Because I know that he likes you a lot.”

“A lot?”

His eyes are as large as saucers, trying to emphasize the words, “A LOT like alot.”

Thoughts even more jumbled up than before, you pick at the hangnail on your thumb, thinking that Yoongi might possible love you? He’s incredibly sweet, so caring and intelligent. He knows how to cook, and he cries every time he watches Hachi but he thinks you don’t see it. He’s attractive, really attractive, maybe you did dream of a blond sexy demon once. He has nice fingers, wearing pretty rings, and arms, especially when he’s busy chopping up vegetables. And he’s gotten even more buff since you met him. You know that he works out. Thicc boy.

“Ahem-“ you realize that Namjoon was watching you when you zoned out “-were you just daydreaming about hyung?”

You splutter, adjusting your blazer, “no. I wasn’t.”

He points to your lip, your hand comes up, wondering what the fuck he’s doing.

“Is that- Is that drool?”

Heat travelling to your face, you move closer to your desk and wave him off, “go away Joon. I have work.”

“Have fun,” he calls from the doorway, while you roll your eyes, thinking that you would have drooled if you thought of Yoongi any longer.

When you get home, you decide to make a beef casserole before Yoongi gets home. To busy yourself. But that doesn’t stop your thoughts from running to one end and then to the other. You hear the door unlock and Yoongi comes in your line of sight, white T-shirt clinging to his sweaty body. Your eyes rake down his figure, and he points in the direction of the bathroom. You know that he showers after he works out and then eats supper. Things don’t feel tense between the two of you, on your end, but you can tell that he’s edgy.

“How was work?”

You nod, “was good.”

He hums, chopsticks working with his fingers, you watch the movement, ogling his veiny hands, rings glinting in the light.

“This is good. Thank you.”

His voice interrupts your thoughts, you smile, even though he isn’t looking at you.

After you’re done cleaning up, you decide to watch a movie together, and for the first time, you pick a romance. You have no idea why. But you do. However, midway through the sappy movie, your lower abdomen starts to churn, and you can’t help but let out a small whine, placing your hand on your stomach. Period cramps are the worst for you during the first few days.

He pauses the movie, while you lay your head on the armrest, slouching down into the soft couch.

“What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, not wanting to add to the weirdness which heightens with each minute that passes.

He moves closer to you, placing a warm hand on your shoulder, “come on. I can tell that something’s wrong. Are you not feeling well? Do you have an upset stomach?”

Your heart quickens its pace at his concern, “no...Period cramps.”

He doesn’t say anything for a while, and you think that you might’ve made things even more awkward, but you feel him grab your arm and yank you up.

“I heard that folding your body like that wouldn’t help. You need to stretch your muscles.”

You gawk at him, seeing his eyelashes flutter as he speaks.

“Do you want a back rub?”

You swallow, wondering if a back rub may help relieve your cramps, because you’ve never gotten one.

He shakes his head, rubbing the back of his neck, “my ex-girlfriend…she used to like back rubs.”

You nod, voice small, “okay.”

Clueless about how to position yourself on the couch, you ask him to tell you how to sit. He guides you to rest your head on his lap, lying flat on your stomach, legs extended over the armrest of the couch. You face the screen, not his crotch, because that would be weird. When his large palm starts to massage your lower back in circles, pressing down a bit, your eyes shut, a soft sigh leaving your lips.

“Is that…nice?”

You nod against his thighs, arms laying limp at your sides.

After a little while, sore muscles soothed, you find curiosity itching into your mind.

“So…your ex?”

His hand stops its movement, you wiggle your hips, getting him to continue with his comforting rubs.

“Yeah…what. What about her?”

“I mean…how did you get together, or break up?”

You hope you don’t sound too inquisitive, but you’ve had conversations like this before, mostly about yourself.

“We, uhm. Met a party,” he laughs, so raspy, “lasted for a while. But I broke up with her. I think you met her, at the beach once.”

You remember, the day you went to the beach with Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. Jungkook was laying in your lap, similar to the position you’re in now. You try to blink the memory away.

“Yeah…And…why did you break up? If you don’t mind me asking,” you rush to add the last part, shivering a bit when his fingers brush the skin peeking out from under your sleepshirt.

“I didn’t…wasn’t feeling it anymore.”

“Oh,” is all you get out, if he wanted to tell you more, he would. And he does, saying how he felt even more lonely when he was with Micha. And the fact that he couldn’t keep lying to her about his feelings, when he started to develop an interest in someone else.

“Someone else?”

His hand comes up to rest between your shoulder blades, “yeah.”

You wonder if that someone else could be you, your cheeks heat and you hope that he can’t see your face.

“I’m leaving on Friday.”

Your eyebrows pinch together, “why?”

“They want to interview me. Just the usual. Before I get settled in their main offices here.”

“Oh,” your fingers trace the thin material of his pants, “and when will you be back?”

“I’m gonna stay for the weekend. So, Monday.”

You nod, heart suddenly thumping in your chest when you think about goingback  to living alone, without him. Will miss you. You want to say, but you know what it will mean to him, and like Namjoon said, if you’re confused, you shouldn’t confuse him too.

The next morning, you stretch your limbs, awoken to a bright light on your face, when you try to bury your face in your pillow, a low groan makes you startle. Your eyes fly open to be met with Yoongi’s tough chest, pressing against your face. Lifting your head a bit, the bright light was the sun, beaming through the sheer curtains in your lounge. One arm is wrapped around your waist, while the other rests under your head. You know for a fact that he’s going to wake up with pins and needles. When you take notice of where your arms are placed, around his back, you pull them away, wondering how you fell off to sleep in this position. You’ve fallen asleep plenty of times before while watching a movie, but you never cuddled…like this. His scent fills your nostrils and you’re still in a sleepy haze, acknowledging that you had a dreamless sleep after months.

You tilt your head up to find him staring down at you, body pressed to yours.

“Good morning.”

His voice sounds almost robotic with how deep it is, your body erupts in a wave of goosebumps.

“Morning,” you mumble, aware of your proximity, eyes darting down to his lips that look so soft and plush. It’s quiet, too quiet, peaceful almost as you peer into his dark orbs, swirling with fondness and something else…But he doesn’t make a move like the last time, he keeps his arms around you, and you’re suddenly hit with the thought that no one held you like this in a long time…The last was Jungkook. Jungkook, big doe eyes, cute lips, with a mentality of a child, so innocent yet troubled.

Clearing your throat, you take a deep breath and peel his arms off you, putting on your slippers and walking to the bathroom. As you stare at your reflection, you can feel the lump build in your throat, softening a bit when the tears begin to fall, nose clogged. That’s how it will always be. Even if you try to move on, Jungkook would always keep your heart with him. You don’t know if you can move on. And you don’t want to hurt Yoongi, when even the smallest thing still reminds you of Jungkook.

For the rest of the day, you know that the grey cloud is back, following you everywhere you go. Your mood is sour, and you feel guilty. Guilty because you can’t return Yoongi’s feelings the way you want to, and he deserves better than that. Because he’s a good person. He deserves all the love in the world. And you want to be the one to give it to him. You didn’t have breakfast with him today and you drove yourself to campus and now, you’re sitting in your office at work, moping around.

Taehyung said he’ll visit you later today, so you hope that he can brighten your mood a bit.

“Hey!”

He places the take-out boxes on your desk and wraps you up in a tight hug, taking the chair next to you.

“Thanks Tae. For the food.”

He shrugs, already tucking into the jajangmyeon, “I know it’s your favorite.”

It’s your favorite, but you can’t bring yourself to take the first bite, remembering that it’s Yoongi’s favorite too, chopsticks poking around, tempting aromas reaching your nose that does nothing to whet your appetite.

“What’s up?”

Taehyung sets his bowl down, gesturing to your untouched meal.

“Ah. Nothing,” you shake your head, although your face must show that it’s far from nothing.

“Something’s bothering you. Is it someone at work?”

You shake your head, “actually. It’s someone at home.”

“Yoongi?”

You nod meekly. Knowing that Taehyung should be the last person you confide in.

“Hyung is bothering you?”

You wave your arms around, “nooo. It’s just-“

“Namjoon-hyung told me that you know.”

You lift your head, eyes meeting his, “yeah?”

“And hyung knows that you know too.”

Your eyes bug out of your head, “really?”

He scoffs, “I mean, you guys almost kissed. So, it’s pretty obvious now.”

“Yeah,” you admit, more to yourself than him.

“So, what’s the problem?”

“I like him.”

The corner of his mouth quirks up, “okay, and?”

“I like him but I…am confused.”

He grabs the seat of his chair and scoots closer to you, “how are you confused?”

You scan his face, dark brown hair falling into his eyes, sauce smeared on his lips.

“I just…”

“It’s that asshole, isn’t it?”

You nudge his shoulder, “what do you mean ‘asshole’? If anyone’s an asshole, it’s you!”

He holds his chin, “fair enough. But I didn’t tell him to fuck around and screw every girl on campus.”

You take a shuddering breath, “Taehyung, please.”

“Okay. I’m sorry,” he scrubs his hand down his cheek, “went a little off track there.”

You cross your legs, you should have never mentioned this to him at all. It was a bad idea.

“So, you like hyung and he likes you back.”

He continues to speak, but you don’t look at him, choosing to flip through one of the manila folders Namjoon left on your desk earlier.

“To be honest, if there’s anyone that deserves to be with you. It’s Yoongi-hyung.”

Tilting your head to look at him, you search for the honesty in his eyes.

“I’m serious. You’re like, a match made in heaven.”

“How?”

He pats your knee, “think about it. Whenever anyone’s in trouble, who do we call first? You live with him, so you might know.”

“Yoongi.”

“Yes, he’s helpful and caring and generous. Just like you. You might think that those are the traits every person on this earth should have! But they don’t, it’s hard to find someone who truly cares about your safety…or whatever. The point is,” he holds up both his index fingers, “you and hyung complement each other.”

He shrugs, “I don’t think anyone would suit you better than hyung. And you won’t find anyone who loves you more. Not even me,” he mumbles the last part, and you poke his ribs, breaking the serious air around you.

“What was that?”

He pouts, “stop it! You know what I said!”

Wait. Did he say love? Yoongi loves you? How is that possible? You’re a mess, he witnessed you at your lowest moments in life. But that says a lot, doesn’t it? He loves you, even at your worst. He still stuck by your side, when no one was around.

“Happy?”

You nod, “happy.”

When you get home, you can hear Yoongi humming in the kitchen, heart soaring a bit when you hear him talk to himself. You peek around the corner, eyebrows furrowing when you notice that he isn’t talking to himself, but down at his foot.

“You’re gonna meet your mommy just now, okay? God, she’s gonna be so excited.”

You place your keys on the counter, announcing your presence. He jumps a bit when he sees you, but his gummy smile still greets you.

“Don’t come on this side!”

You sit down on the other side of the counter, shooting him a confused look.

“I wasn’t gonna. Whatchya cooking?”

“Uhm. Meat.”

You roll your eyes, giggling a bit, “okay…”

“I have something to give you.”

You can hear your heart beating in your ears, throat going dry when he places a large basket on the counter.

“What,” you stand, seeing a pink blanket covering the contents, “is this, Yoongi?”

He grins, folding the blanket over neatly to produce a-

‘Meow.’

“Yoongi,” you reach inside the basket and pull out the ginger kitchen, holding her close to your chest, suddenly feeling tears prickle your eyes. You have no idea why you’re so emotional.

You hold her up, tiny paws moving around, “she’s so cute,” you sniffle, green eyes gazing into yours.

Yoongi is standing behind you now, scratching the top of the kitten’s head, “I know.”

You cradle her in your arms, guessing that she’s a girl from her blanket.

“I got all her supplies and everything. Even gave her a bath.”

“Wow, Yoongi. I- Wait-” you turn to him, seeing his smile fall from his face “-the landlord?”

He shakes his head, corners of his mouth lifting, “I talked to him and he said cats are fine.”

“Really?”

He nods, a small ‘oof’ leaving his mouth when you wrap your arms around his shoulders, voice muffled by his shirt.

“Thank you, Yoongi. You have no idea how happy I am right now.”

His lips graze your neck, “me too.”

When you pull away, reminiscent of the other night, his eyes are glued to your lips, you take a deep breath, leaning in too, but you’re unable to close your eyes. You take a step back and place the kitten back in her basket.

“What we eating?”

“Y/N.”

“Hmm,” you turn around to face him, seeing Yoongi with his head hanging, palms placed flat on the counter.

“I can’t…can’t do this anymore.”

You swallow, “do what?”

“This,” he gestures between the two of you, and you feel your heart leap to your throat at the sad look in his eyes.

Your lips part, wanting to say something, anything, to rid him off the pain that’s evident in his eyes, but you have no idea.

“I know you feel it too.”

Nodding, you glance at the kitten, sleeping peacefully in her basket, wishing you were anywhere else but here. Because it hurts for you too.

“So, why do you keep pushing me away?”

His voice is soft, calm, like he doesn’t want to scare you. You would be angry, furious, this person, that you love, is playing with your feelings. But it wasn’t your intention.

“I-I don’t know.”

He throws his arms up exasperatedly, “you don’t know? I think I know.”

Your eye twitches at his tone, not wanting him to continue, not wanting to hear it.

“You’re too stuck in the past to notice what’s right in front of you.”

The first tear rolls down your cheek, and he’s not looking at you anymore. It’s the truth.

“Why can’t you just accept me, Y/N?”

His voice is shaky and your lips tremble, more tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I don’t-“ you hiccup, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand “-know.”

He slams his palm on the counter and storms off into the hallway not before yelling, “you don’t know? Like I said,” he pokes his tongue in his cheek, “I can’t do this anymore. Because you know that you’re fighting your feelings.”

He returns with an overnight bag and a jacket, grabbing his keys and heading for the front door. Through your tears, you remember that he’s leaving for the weekend tomorrow morning, but where would he go. Probably stay at Hoseok’s apartment. He spares you a glance right before he disappears behind the door. You grab the basket and head to your room, flopping down on your bed with a loud sigh, tears staining your sheets.

And when you roll over on your back, the dreaded sight of the flower frame you keep on your wall comes into view. You were preparing yourself for when Yoongi leaves, and now that he’s gone, after he left on a bitter note, you don’t know how to deal with the fact that you’ve been hurting Yoongi, all this time, the one person who did nothing but love you.

You wake up with puffy eyes, only one mission on your mind, after dreaming of him all night, dreams worse than reality and before it’s too late, you’re going to tell him everything. Before you lose him forever. You grab Norangi’s basket and cart her with you to Hoseok’s apartment, heart skipping a beat when you see Yoongi loading Hoseok’s trunk with his bag.

He spots your car when you pull over, jamming his hands in his pockets when you step out of the car and make your way to him with hurried steps. You only realize that you’re crying when you hear your voice, nasally and gruff.

“I’m sorry. Okay. I’m sorry that all this time I was an idiot and I kept calling you my best friend.”

His eyebrow jumps, eyes on the cement as he kicks a pebble, taking a step closer to you.

“And I know. I know that I have feelings for you. Because I do! But it’s just been so long, and you said that I should accept you, but I don’t know how anymore!”

His eyes meet yours, lip tucked between his teeth as he listens to you speak, and cry.

You wipe your eyes furiously, knowing that you must look like a mess right now.

“And and, if you still like me then. I’m here,” you nod, pointing to your chest, “I’m right here for you, Yoongi. Just as you’ve been there for me and I’m sorry again. I just want you. I just-“

He surges forward and grabs your cheeks, soft lips pushing against yours. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, eyes closing when he wraps his arm around your lower back and lifts you up off the ground, pressing your body to his, tongue rolling into your mouth, making you whimper. You feel like your soul isn’t yours anymore, like with this kiss, with his lips moving over yours, he’s molding you to him, you’re molding him to you. Your heart beats erratically.

And when he pulls away, and you struggle to open your eyes, he smiles because he knows. And you smile because finally, everything is crystallised. Your feelings for him. So much feelings.

“I can,” you breathe, panting as you speak, “drop you off at the airport.”

He grins, voice low and gravelly, “so eager to let me go?”

You press your forehead to his, shaking your head frantically, “no. I don’t want you to go.”

He laughs, setting you down on the ground and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him. You’re staring up at him, admiring every inch of his face, his being. He’s yours. Cheeks aching from how hard you’re smiling, tears dried up on your cheeks.

“Let me tell Hoseo-“ he spins around to see Hoseok watching from the window, phone in hand.

“What are you doing? You perv!”

You giggle, nudging Yoongi with your hip, he pinches your cheek.

“I’m sorry I’m just so happy,” he calls out, “the pictures look aesthetic!”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, laughing a bit, “Y/N will drop me off and send me the pictures!”

He shoots you a thumbs up as Yoongi transfers his bag to your car. His eyes widen when he sees Norangi in the backseat.

“What is she doing here?”

You grin, clicking in your seatbelt, “I was panicking because I didn’t want to miss you before you leave, and I just brought Norangi along.”

“Norangi?”

“Oh,” you tilt your head to wink at him, “that’s what I named her.”

He turns around, reaching into the basket, “Norangi-yah!”

“Your baby voice is cute,” you smile, watching the interaction.

“Oh yeah?”

He pinches your cheek, “you’re cuter. Come here.”

Placing your hand on his shoulder, you lean forward and let him kiss you. He holds the side of your neck, fingers massaging the skin as he suckles on your bottom lip, sloppy kisses leaving you lightheaded. It feels like second nature, to kiss him like this. And he’s so good at it, you feel a little hot.

Cheeks a bright red, you pull away and turn on the engine.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.”

His voice makes you wonder if he’s as dazed as you, so overwhelmed with feelings.

“Then why didn’t you?”

He scoffs, “I tried, but someone was a little doubtful.”

You glance at him, “not anymore.”

He hums and a comfortable silence settles between the two of you, he turns around now and again to talk to your kitten. A thought crosses your mind.

“So, we’re cat parents now?”

You see him nod from the corner of your eye, “yep. You’re a cat mommy.”

“And you’re a cat daddy.”

You can see his hand itch where it rests on his thigh, lifting up, then going back down.

“Didn’t think you have a daddy kink, Y/N,” his sultry voice shoots through your body, settling in a very dormant area between your thighs.

You splutter, “I do not.”

He leans in close, breath hitting your face, “what kinks do you have then?”

You push him away playfully, “wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes. Yes I would.”

“Don’t distract the driver!”

He holds up his palms, “sorry sorry. I just can’t believe that we can have these conversations now.”

“You can also hold my hand whenever you want.”

“Really?” He clears his throat, “really?”

“Uhm, yeah. Although I’m not sure what we are yet.”

You pull up in the parking space outside the airport, when you unclick your seatbelt, he rests his hand on your knee.

“Don’t come in with me.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he stares out the window, “I wouldn’t want to say goodbye.”

You laugh, “we’re gonna have to say goodbye anyway.”

He’s dead serious, eyes filled with worry, “I know but, if you come in with me, I wouldn’t want to leave.”

You boop his nose, heart clenching in your chest, “maybe I don’t want you to.”

“Don’t say that! You know I have to,” he pouts, and you’re still processing the thought that this is Yoongi. The guy you’ve known for almost two years, who’s currently tracing the line of your jaw, lips brushing yours, scent that’s purely his fogging your mind.

“Y/N?”

You hum, eyes half-lidded, running your hands down his arms, intertwining your fingers.

“Will you be mine?”

“Your what?”

He pinches your cheek with his other hand, “my girlfriend.”

“Yes,” you nod, finally capturing his lips in a sweet, lingering kiss, tongue swirling into his mouth, humming dreamily when he pecks your lips before moving away.

“There’s-“ his eyes are glued to the way your fingers fit in his, thumb rubbing over your knuckles “-something else I want to tell you. You don’t have to say it back, but I want you to know.”

You suck your lips in, tasting his mint lip balm, thinking that you might know what he’s about to say.

“Y/N. I-I love you. And I mean it. You don’t have to say it back. Whenever you’re ready,” he shrugs.

You place your palm on his cheek, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you,” you whisper, “for everything.”

“Thank you for existing.”

You bump his forehead with yours lightly, “stop saying stuff like that, you’re gonna make me cry.”

“I mean it though!”

He grabs his bag from the backseat, and kisses Norangi on the top of her head.

“Don’t trouble mommy!”

You scratch under her chin, “she won’t.”

“Bye,” he kisses your forehead and exits the car without turning around once as he makes his way inside. You watch him disappear in the crowd, unable to wipe the goofy grin of your face. Pulling out your phone from your bag, you type out a message to him, thinking that you should change his contact details.

[07:55] You: have a safe flight

[07:55] You: I miss you already ☹

[07:56] Yoongi🤍: I miss you too baby

[07:57] Yoongi🤍: Ill call you later ok?

You’re smiling at you screen, heart stirring at his pet name.

[07:58] You: can’t wait <3</p>

Everything feels different, you feel different. Like everything in the universe has finally aligned. And it makes you wonder how you could miss the fact that Yoongi was your missing piece, he completes you. You do have a soft spot for Jungkook, he will always be that person, but Yoongi is your person. Like Taehyung had said, you complement each other. You can’t wait for him to come back home so you can return every small act of kindness he ever did for you. You can’t wait to hold him and kiss him and spill all your heart’s secrets.

When you get home, you feed Norangi and ask the guys to come over for dinner later. So, you get to cooking, and baking up a storm, awaiting Yoongi’s text to say that he landed. It’s around 4PM when someone knocks on your front door. Seeing a beaming Hoseok on your doorstep.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” he steps in and walks to your lounge, lingering near your couch.

You wipe your hands on your apron, “what’s up?”

Norangi sits in the small nest you’ve made for her, you wonder if it’s weird for her to sleep that much, although she was a bit rowdy earlier.

“Nothing,” he sits down, patting his knees, “Yoongi said I should check up on you.”

Giggling, you sit down in the armchair, “really?”

He smiles, “yeah. He insisted.”

“What does he think I’ll do?”

Shaking his head slightly, his mouth forms a small ‘o’ as he speaks, “I don’t know. I guess he’s just worried about you.”

You hum, missing your soft best friend-turned boyfriend even more.

“Or he just cares about you too much.”

You lift your head to look at Hoseok, sad smile on his face.

“He really cares about you, Y/N. And from what I saw earlier today, you must already know how he feels about you.”

You nod, suddenly feeling shy after he mentioned this morning, the memory of Yoongi’s lips on yours drowning all other thoughts.

“For a long time.”

Hoseok is watching you carefully and you wonder what he’s thinking.

“I know. I won’t hurt him.”

He sighs, “I know. I just…don’t want to see him go through any more pain.”

“Yeah. Me neither. And I won’t hurt him any more than I already did.”

“Good,” he agrees, and he’s about to stand up from the couch but you hold up your hands.

“Uhm, Jimin and Taehyung are coming over later. I asked Namjoon to come too but he said that he’s going on a date or something. You wanna stay? For dinner?”

He nods, “okay,” following you into the kitchen, admiring the flowers on the counter.

“What you making?”

“Kimchi jiggae and some side dishes. And I made tres leches for dessert.”

“Yum.”

You smile, filling a glass with juice and placing it in front of him, “and I made that.”

“Wow,” he takes a sip, “tasty.”

“Did you meet Norangi yet?”

He laughs, “yes I did. I accompanied Yoongi to fetch her.”

“She’s such a sleepy cat. Like her dad,” you grin, filling a piping bag with fresh cream for the milk cake.

“Yes, he is. You know one time, we had to wake up early because we were getting renovations done. He literally slept through all the noise, you know, like the drilling and banging.”

“Seriously?”

He nods, “yes!”

Hoseok continues to ramble about Yoongi and his weird moments, and it makes you wonder how stupid you were to not fall in love with him sooner, how the hurt from your past blinded you.

“I can’t wait for him to come,” you hear yourself say, Hoseok’s lips stretch into a smile, one that seems to take up more than half of his face.

The tender moment is broken by the heavy thumps on your front door. Hoseok leaves the kitchen, saying that he’ll check and you can already tell who it might be when you hear the boisterous chatter echoing throughout your apartment, you jog into your lounge, picking up Norangi, stroking her ginger fur.

“Oh my God,” Jimin plucks her from your hands, “she’s so cute. I saw pictures but she’s even cuter in real life. Aw, so sweet.”

You watch him coddle the cat, “I didn’t send you any pictures.”

Taehyung turns around the corner, handing you a shopping bag filled with soju, “Yoongi-hyung didn’t know which kitten you’d want.”

“Oh,” you smile to yourself, reminded of your charming boyfriend all over again.

You shuffle to the kitchen, setting the soju bottles on the table, “let’s eat guys.”

“I’m bringing this one with me,” Jimin cradles Norangi in his arms, taking the seat next to you on the table.

During dinner, it’s loud, unlike your quiet, calm meals with Yoongi, cackles and shouts surround you as you eat, giggling at your friends’ antics. But you can’t help but feel like something is missing. It makes you step out of the moment for a while, you think of Jungkook, what would it be like if he were here, probably just as loud. Then you think of Yoongi, he would be the one accompanying you to your own space, booming laughter cut off, watching from afar. It makes your lips turn up, thinking of the way he would always place an amicable hand on your lower back or a reassuring arm around your shoulder, all those little things that built up to the one moment, when you collided.

“Y/N?”

Your chopsticks slip from your hand, and you rush to pick it up, looking down under the table when you feel Norangi’s tail brush your ankle.

“Yeah? What?”

Taehyung sighs, “I said that tomorrow we’re going to Esc, wanna come?”

Images of sweaty bodies, green beams and thundering music vibrating off the floors makes you shake your head, “nah.”

Hoseok pats your arm, “come on. It’ll be cool, Yoongi is coming on Monday. What are you gonna do all weekend without him? Huh?”

You shrug, “I don’t know.” Probably think about how much you miss him and lay around in his room, sniffing every inch.

“Hyung said that I should make sure you’re okay. And I want you to come with us and have fun.”

You acquiesce, earning a squeal from Jimin, “okay. Hoseok will fetch you at 8 tomorrow.”

“8?” Your face scrunches up, “isn’t that a little too early?”

He glances at Hoseok, “no it’s not. Just…be ready okay!”

Half an hour later, kitchen scrubbed down, three slices of tres leches packed for each of them, they say their goodbyes, leaving you to a dead silent home. After you shower, Norangi fed and bathed, currently wrestling the brown poodle plushie that Yoongi brought along with your feisty kitten, you shoot Yoongi a text to ask if he wants to video call. It takes a while for him to respond with a ‘yes of course.’

You sit against your headboard, propping your laptop on your folded legs, adjusting your hair a bit as you wait for him to answer, palms feeling a little sweaty.

When his face pops up on your screen, your breath hitches.

He waves, “hi.”

Unable to keep your smile away, you wave back, “hi.”

He’s laying down in bed, “sorry. My laptop died and I was too lazy to put it to charge. So, I’m using my phone.”

“That’s okay,” cheeks aching from how hard you’re smiling.

“How are you? How’s Norangi?”

You angle the laptop so he can see her fussing over the plushie. His boyish laugh filters through the speakers.

“Norangi-yah!”

Snorting to yourself, you readjust the laptop, “she’s been acting like this ever since Jimin was over.”

“Oh yeah. You guys had supper. How was it?”

You nod, “was okay. Hoseok came over, so I asked him to stay too.”

He runs his fingers through his hair, “I know.”

Holding a finger up to the screen, you narrow your eyes at him, “you told him to check up on me.”

His eyebrows shoot up, “yes I did. But it was supposed to be casual. You weren’t supposed to know that I told him to check up on you!”

You hold your hand over your mouth as you laugh, “I don’t think Hoseok ever just visited me.”

You hear a small ‘yeah’ from his side, seeing him fluff up his pillow and lie back down.

“He told me that you couldn’t stop talking about me,” cheeky smile in place, hand tucked under his head, exposing his meaty arms to your gaze.

“I miss you,” you admit, finding a more comfortable position on your bed.

“I can tell,” he leans in close to the camera, mouth hanging open, “are you wearing my T-shirt?”

Your cheeks heat, having plucked it from the chair he keeps in his room, you couldn’t keep your nose out of the black material, so you decided to put it on after you showered.

“Uh…Yeah. I was doing laundry and I found it,” you stare down at the plain black shirt, head lifting when you hear him chuckle.

“You look so good in it. Wearing my clothes,” he mumbles, corners of his eyes crinkling as he scans the section of your body that’s visible to him.

You hold the camera further away from you, giving him a better view, “I think so too.”

He hums, deep and gruff, the sound sends a shiver down the length of your spine.

You clear your throat, “I’m…going to Esc tomorrow with Jimin and Taehyung…And Hoseok.”

“That’s nice, hope you have fun.”

It’s quiet after that, you’re too busy staring down at the sliver of his chest that’s peeking out from his button up pyjama shirt. And he seems to be doing the same.

“Uhm,” you rush to think of something to fill the silence, but he cuts you off.

“I love the way you’re looking at me right now.”

Your hand flies to your neck, searching for something to hold on to, heart stopping in your chest.

“Me too,” you reply, watching him lick his lips, still staring at you. You glance at Norangi, curled up on the other side of your bed.

“She fell asleep,” you whisper, gaze travelling back to him.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you’re not sure why you told him that piece of information, but maybe you do, because the way he seems to be devouring you with his eyes is causing your core to throb.

“You wanna know what I’m thinking?”

You nod frantically, tugging your shirt over your dampening panties.

“I hope this doesn’t freak you out…”

“No no,” you wave your hands around, heart leaping to your throat in suspense, “go on.”

“I’m thinking about that night, when I came home, we weren’t living together at the time but…you thought that you were alone, and you left the bathroom door slightly open, and I could hear everything. I knew it was wrong of me to listen, but I stood in the kitchen, listening to you moan and whimper and how I wished I could hear you say my name like that. I knew you’d be mine eventually, I had a feeling and…it’s all I can think about. I want to feel all of you, Y/N.”

If you weren’t wet before, you are now, thoroughly soaked.

“Yoongi…”

His eyes shut, teeth trapping his lower lip, “like that…but softer.”

“Yoongi. I’m-“ you rub your thighs together, scrunching your eyes shut.

“What is it, baby?”

“I want you,” you breathe.

He sits up in bed, similar to the way you’re sitting, “yeah?”

You nod, fingers inching down your thigh.

“Fuck. Y/N. I can see your nipples through my shirt. I could cum right now.”

Whining, you place the laptop next to you and spread your legs, rubbing your clit over your panties, index finger moving up and down.

“Shit. What are you doing, Y/N? Tell me.”

Legs sliding even further apart, your chest heaves, moaning as you speak.

“I’m thinking of you while I touch myself.”

You can hear shuffling on his line, turning your head to see his eyes closed, lips parted, phone placed on his side too. You can’t see much, but the sight of his hand slithering out of the camera’s view is enough to make you slip your fingers beneath your panties, gathering your slick on your fingers and spreading it all over your clit.

“What else? Tell me more, baby.”

You rub your clit furiously, bucking your hips into your hand.

“Shit Yoongi. I’m rubbing my clit, imagining it was your fingers in my panties, lips on my neck.”

“Imagine it was my tongue, licking you up until you’re a mess, flicking your clit, begging me to make you cum.”

Your back arches, index finger sliding down your folds, pushing into your tight hole. You gasp at the intrusion, working it in and out, moaning out his name.

“Fuck Y/N. Yes, keep doing that for me baby. Shit. I’m gonna cum soon. Cum with me?”

His voice cracks and you nod, adding your middle finger in your pulsating hole, heel of your palm pressing against your clit, arousal leaking all over your sheets, whimpers of his name bubbling from your lips. Thinking of him fucking into his fist, imagining it was you. The familiar heat creeps up on you.

“Ah Yoongi Yoongi. Please,” you cry out, fingers pressing into your walls, closing around them when you cum, shuddering as it drips down, messing your ass. So wet and hot. Teeth piercing into your lip as you ride out your high. Your eyes peel open, seeing him watch you with his fist under his cheek, sitting up on his elbow, grinning at you.

Suddenly feeling bashful, you cover your face with your clean hand.

“God. I can’t believe that you’re mine.”

You roll your eyes, although you’re screaming on the inside, “you’re so cheesy.”

He winks, “you like me cheesy. Anyway babes. I need to clean up, I’m a mess,” laughing as he speaks.

“Me too. Goodnight Yoongi.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I have a kiss before you go?”

You smile, leaning forward and placing a noisy kiss to the camera. He places his hand over his heart, “thank you.”

Eyelashes fluttering, you stick out your bottom lip teasingly, “can I have one too?”

“You’ll get enough when I’m back home. Goodnight~”

He waves and cuts the call before you can protest. Your boyfriend is such a goof…you’re dizzy, so overwhelmed by him and his words and everything else. You don’t know what you did to deserve someone like him. Someone that checks all your boxes, someone that’s so perfect in your eyes.

You’re going through your emails when you get a text from Jimin stating that Hoseok will pick you up at 7:30PM, “sharp.” You have no idea why they want to party so early, you know that it’s a fifteen minute drive from here to that side of town but they can’t be that eager, they literally go out every weekend. You haven’t gone clubbing in a long time, you might’ve forgotten the fact that you need to wait a while before you actually enter the club.

Glancing at the clock above your TV set, you decide to change into the outfit you picked and do your makeup. You go for a smoky eye with nude pink lips, hair in soft curls, your makeup complements the black dress you’re wearing, paired with heels. You give your reflection a satisfied nod and spritz some perfume when you get a text from Hoseok saying that he’s waiting outside.

Norangi is sleeping in her heap of pillows as per usual, you place a kiss to the top of her head, promising that you’ll be home soon.

“Hey guys.”

“Wow,” the three say in unison.

“I know hyung would literally be drooling all over the floors if he saw you,” Taehyung grins, eyes raking over your figure.

Cheeks turning a bright pink, you wave them off, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Did you send hyung a selfie?”

“No…”

Jimin grabs your phone from your hand, “come on. Let me take a picture for you. The lighting is good too.”

You lean against the door as he snaps a few shots, you’re impressed at your own makeup skills, it looks so good on camera. Swiping through the images, you pick the best one and send it to him, no caption included. His response has you smiling like a mad woman.

[19:42] Yoongi🤍: holy fuck

[19:42] Yoongi🤍: my girlfriend is so hot

[19:43] Yoongi🤍: you look beautiful baby can’t wait to see you!!

[19:44] You: miss you ☹

[19:44] You: can Monday come already!

[19:45] Yoongi🤍: soon baby very soon

Shoving your phone into your purse, you take a deep breath, calming your thundering heart, watching the lights as the car zooms past the buildings. It isn’t long before you reach the club, the night sky has dulled through, it’s a clear, cloudless night, a few stars dotting here and there.

“Watch your step,” Taehyung helps you onto the sidewalk, holding your palm in his.

“Thank you.”

Jimin nudges your hip, “how’s Norangi?”

“She’s good. Probably sleeping.”

As soon as you enter the club, a wave of heat hits you, reaching into your nostrils, burning your eyes a bit. Hoseok guides you to the bar where he orders your drinks. You’re not even in the clustered-up space for more than five minutes when you feel an unwelcomed hand on your back. You spin around, ready to give the guy a mouthful when your eyes pop wide open.

“Yoongi.”

Blinding gummy smile. You jump up and wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his neck, taking in the scent that you’ve missed so, so much. He rests his arms around your waist. And you can’t help but kiss him a bit, hand pressed to his cheek as you pull away, seeing a few of the people who are standing near you watch, some with disgusted glares, others uncaring. You realize that you’re going to be that couple, the kind that can’t keep their hands off each other.

He greets the guys, then returns to your side, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“You look beautiful.”

Your fist presses against his chest, shouting over the music, “I thought you were coming on Monday.”

He removes his arm from around you, “I’m sorry, I’ll just head back then.”

“Yoongi,” you yank his arm, pulling him into you.

Yoongi orders another round of drinks, chatting to Taehyung, while you continue to stare up at him. Taking in his dreamy sight, you run your palm down his muscular chest, he’s wearing a black jacket with a white T-shirt on the inside, straight cut jeans fitting him perfectly. You kiss his cheek, and he tilts his head to look at you. Knuckle brushing your cheek. His eyebrows jumps and you shake your head, fingers intertwining. You continue to gaze into each other’s eyes, he inhales a shaky breath, breaking the electricity.

“I think we’re gonna head home,” he pulls out his car keys from his pocket. Your telepathic connection.

Taehyung speaks into his cup, “so early?”

Hoseok pats his chest, “let them be. They have a lot of catching up to do.”

Yoongi nods in Hoseok’s direction and steers you toward the exit, hand sliding down to your back as you squeeze through the crowd.

“Nor-“

“She’s okay. Naughty,” you laugh, sounding nervous to your own ears, nail tracing the sequins on your purse.

He nods, gaze fixed on the road.

“I bought some stuff before I came.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Yeah.”

He turns onto your street, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. You can feel the blood pumping through your veins, teeming with energy.

When he parks the car, you unclick your seatbelt and follow him up the stairs, kicking off your heels. It’s dark in the apartment, the only thing you can make out is the outline of his body, his twinkling eyes and glossy lips. You take your hand in his, pulling him down the hallway like it’s his first time in your home, palms just as clammy as yours.

You sit at the edge of your bed, seeing him close the door and make his way toward you, moonlight shining into your room. He stands between your legs, shrugging off his jacket. You swallow, unzipping the side of your dress, letting it fall down your shoulders, plain black bra on display. He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling it over his head. Your eyes travel from this corner to that, salivating at the sight of his sinewy chest. You pull down your dress and let it fall off the edge of the bed, wishing that you’d worn sexier underwear today, but you didn’t think that Yoongi would be here now, unbuckling his belt and pushing down his pants, eyes not leaving yours for a second.

You scoot up on the bed, hands trembling as you smooth them over his unmarred skin, feeling his heat radiate off his body, so many emotions swimming through you. You haven’t done this in a long, long time. You don’t want to revisit the last time, you want to appreciate Yoongi and his lips that move over yours delicately, fingers tickling your sides as he presses you into the mattress, bewitching gaze locking with yours as he moves down to mouth at your neck, large palm cupping your breasts.

“You’re so beautiful,” he suckles on the sensitive skin of your neck, pleasurable burn blooming all over, until you’re writhing beneath him, begging to be touched. He kisses between the valley of your breasts, silently asking if he can take it off. You nod eagerly, lifting your back off the bed, seeing his eyes widen when your breasts are exposed to him.

“Wow,” he leans down, biting on the supple skin, your fingers weave through his hair when he reaches your areola, suctioning the skin into his mouth, painting bruises there too before his mouth latches onto your nipple, fingers curling around the flesh to hold it up, tongue swirling around it. His ravenous eyes watch your other breast, and he’s pulling off with a loud pop, tongue swiping along his bottom lip before he caresses that one in a similar fashion. Teeth grazing the skin, patches of red appearing after he moves on to another untouched section.

You reach down, squeezing his cock through his boxer briefs, feeling him groan against your skin, eyes flicking up to set on yours as he moves lower down, out of your reach.

He smirks, bringing his palm up to your neck, dragging it down slowly, all the way down to your pubic bone. Biting on your lip, you wiggle your hips, asking him to touch you.

“So ready for me, baby.”

“Yes, Yoongi. Please touch me.”

He bumps your nose with his, hovering over you, “tell me what you want.”

Your core throbs, eyes glued to the way his tongue pokes into the corner of his mouth.

“Wanna feel your tongue.”

“Where? Here?”

He licks the shell of your ear, breath catching in your throat when he flicks it into your earlobe.

You shake your head, nails pressing into his shoulders, asking him to move lower.

His tongue drags down the column of your throat, “here?”

“No.”

Moving down lower, he places a sloppy kiss between your breasts, “here?”

“No.”

He chuckles, so raspy, doing nothing to soothe the heat that builds between your legs.

His tongue dips into your navel, “here?”

“No,” you sigh, “lower.”

Finally, he hooks his fingers into your plain panties, pulling them down your legs, ridding you of the bothersome material. His fingers press into your thighs, flesh molding into his palm as he spreads your legs, exposing your dripping folds to him.

“Fuck, you smell so good,” his index and middle finger trails down to your slit, you sigh, pads of his fingers encircling your entrance. “You’re so wet, all for me. All mine.”

He lays flat on his stomach, your pussy clenches in anticipation, his eyes track the movement, hot breath hitting your swollen folds when he laughs.

“Here?”

You nod, chin hitting your chest with the movement, watching his tongue extend out of his mouth, the tip nudges against your clit, from left to right, spit mixing with your arousal when he starts to devour your pussy greedily, gasping out his name when his fingers prod at your slit, easing them inside, sliding in with your slick.

The way his tongue is working at your pussy has your body jerking with each lick and suck, each pull of your clit between his soft lips. Your juices drench his face, fingers moving in and out of you with a steady rhythm, so hot, so warm, so wet, so erotic with the way his tongue laps at your folds. He lays his tongue flat against you, you feel it vibrate, clit pulsing with the movement.

You gasp, he moves faster, you moan, his fingers curl inside of you, you murmur his name and he’s ruthless with his tongue.

“Fuck! Yoongi!’ You grab his hair with both hands, rocking your hips against his face, his fingers scissor your walls apart, orgasm hitting you harder than you expected, a loud scream of his name echoes throughout your apartment, cumming on his tongue with a shudder, spasming when he continues to flick his tongue against your clit, tongue covered in your essence.

He swallows it all up, watching you with a smug grin on his face. Catching you off guard, he dives back in shaking his head as he purses his lips around your clit. You press your lips together when the pain morphs into pleasure, your second high of the night crashing onto you, his tongue scoops it all up, while you mewl, hips lifting up off the bed.

“You taste so fucking sweet, you know that?”

Recovering from your high, you twist your fingers in his hair, seeing his eyes close with a soft grunt, “wanna know how you taste.”

He lets you push him down on the bed, arms lifting up as you pull off his underwear, cock hitting his stomach. Eyes widening as you watch the pretty pink head leak, sitting sideways to give him a view of your ass. He seems to appreciate it because he lands a loud smack to your flesh, palm soothing the burn.

You keep your eyes on him as you grip the base of his cock, taking the tip into your mouth, salty precum bursting on your taste buds. You sink down a bit further and he grabs your chin, thumb pressing into your cheek.

“So pretty with my cock in your mouth.”

You moan around his cock, taking him further down into your mouth, gagging a bit when the tip brushes the back of your throat, hollowing out your cheeks.

“Fuck,” he moans, throaty and deep.

Keeping your fist around the head, you tighten your hold and squeeze around his girthy length, twisting your hand from root to tip, dipping down to take his balls into your mouth, slurping and suckling on the sensitive skin, seeing him lay back in pure bliss. Your thumb works at his frenulum, teeth grazing the sensitive skin, more precum dribbling over your hand.

“Fuck fuck fuck, Y/N,” he pats your ass, asking you to move up.

He stares at your wet chin, slick with your saliva and his precum, you wipe it with the back of your head, blinking at him, feigning innocence.

“Y/N, if I don’t fuck you right now,” he shoves you down onto the bed, lying down next to you, thick cock dragging along your folds.

Your back arches, wrapping an arm around his neck, “condom.”

He stills all movements, and your eyes fly open, shaking your head in horror.

“Please tell me you have a condom.”

His eyes dart around your room, you groan, fist hitting the bed, “I don’t have any. I haven’t had sex in a while!”

“Me neither!”

You stare at him exasperatedly, watching in confusion when his frown morphs into a smirk, warm palm pressing down your stomach, eyes tracking the movement.

“Would it be so bad?”

“Would what be so bad?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know. If we have a baby together…”

Your eyes widen in disbelief, “Yoongi!”

“I’m just saying!”

“Yoongi. We have a cat, and I haven’t seen her since we got here. We’d be terrible parents.”

“Really? I think that I’d make a pretty good dad.”

“Aw,” you pout, leaning up to kiss him.

He pulls away, jumping off the bed and walking out of your room stark naked, you take the time to appreciate his cute butt, waddling to his room and back, hard, angry dick sticking up.

“I found one.”

You lean back in the pillows, spreading your legs so he can settle between them, “it isn’t expired?”

He gives you a look, ‘seriously’.

Shrugging, you wrap your legs around his waist after he rolls on the condom, “you said you haven’t had sex in a long time.”

“Yeah? Wanna know why?”

“Why?”

The tip of his cock stretches open your slit, breath getting knocked out of your lungs when he’s buried to the hilt, biting down on his neck.

“Because-fuck-I couldn’t stop thinking about you, this pussy, what it feels like.”

He pulls out to the tip, walls stretching open again when he slams back into you.

“You feel amazing,” he kisses the side of your head while you moan into his skin, moving up on the bed with each thrust, pussy clenching around him at his words.

He snaps his hips against yours, cock rubbing against your walls in deep, pleasurable strokes, hitting the spot deep inside of you, trembling under him, each roll of his hips even better, even deeper.

“Y/N. You- feel so good,” sweaty chest pressed to yours, pelvic bone rubbing against your clit with each slow flex of his hips. You’ve never been fucked like this before, not hard and fast, but deep and leisurely. Unhurried, it feels better than anything you’ve ever felt before, each drag purposeful, precise.

“Yoongi,” you sigh, pulling away from his skin with a noisy suckle.

“Fuck baby,” he presses his forehead to yours, staring into your eyes. Something fizzes within you, you feel so filled with love, drowning in his orbs, souls meshing to form one. Like everything you’ve been searching for all your life is kept in this one person. Shards of your heart coalescing to stick to him, magnetized.

Your nails scrape along his back, grasping onto his skin while the other grips onto his hair, pulling him down to connect your lips in a searing kiss, walls closing around his cock, pushing you over the edge, he swallows up all your moans, spilling into the condom, tongue running over yours, hips working even slower as he rides out your high.

“I love you, Y/N. Fuck, I love you so much,” he smashes your lips together pulling you on top of him as he rolls onto his back.

You hum blissfully, arm draped across his chest, he kisses your shoulder.

“One second.”

Still catching your breath, you think about the feeling you had earlier, the feeling that had you so emotional. So tangled up in Yoongi, your lover, the only man you’ve ever felt this safe around, so naked and open for him, soul bared to him.

He returns wearing a shirt, holding a similar one in his hands.

“This is for you,” you take the shirt from him and pull it over your head, settling under the blanket drowsily.

Your lips brush his neck, fingers skimming the bruised skin. He kisses your forehead, warm body tugging you closer, as close as possible. Everything feels peaceful, and soon you fall into the soft haze, dreams filled with Yoongi, and everything you know him for.

Your arms slide to the cold side of the bed, seeing Norangi perched at the edge. Smiling, you reach over and scratch her chin, her big, green eyes close. You put on your slippers and head into the bathroom, grinning like a lovestruck teenager when you hear Yoongi hum in the kitchen, the scrumptious smell of cinnamon fills the air. He’s sitting at the table, enjoying his mug of coffee when your arms slide around his torso, kissing the side of his head. He startles because he didn’t hear you enter the kitchen, but relaxes into your touch, tilting his head to kiss your cheek.

“How did you sleep?”

You hum, cheek pressed to his, “great. Best sleep I’ve had in a long time.”

“Good. Come eat.”

Your chair scrapes on the floor, stunned at the variety of breakfast options.

“I made eggs, just the way you like them, and French toast, pancakes and fruit salad.”

“Wow. Thanks Yoongs,” you grab some of the French toast, drizzling syrup over the crispy bread.

You cut a piece and pop it into your mouth, “you know how much I love your French toast,” your body sways a bit, chewing happily.

“Come here.”

You stare at him, midchew, “what?”

He pats his thigh, “come here.”

You drag your plate to his side and sit down hesitantly, his cheek presses against your back, arms encircling your body. You feed him a piece, giggling as your thumb smooths over his lips to wipe the syrup. Soon, you feel his warm mouth on your neck, licking at the bright marks that cover the area.

“Yoongi,” you squirm in his hold, spinning around to look at him.

“Did you see what you did?”

He gestures to his neck, your eyes dart to the much worse love bites on his pale skin, grinning proudly.

“I need to make them equal, hold still.”

You laugh, feeling him chomp down on your skin, palms running up and down your sides comfortingly.

“Yoongi,” you hold his arm when it starts to feel a little too good. You’re still a bit sore from last night.

“Hmm. Sorry.”

He peppers kisses all over your face, squealing when he hugs you.

“I’m so so happy right now. You have no idea how you make me feel.”

Giving him a teary smile, you bury your face in his neck, kissing his jaw, “I think I do.”

You see a familiar, brown-covered book sit on the table next to his mug, when you reach for it, he moves it away.

“What’s in there?”

He shakes his head, “uhm my songs.”

You grin, “were you writing just now?”

He nods, “about you.”

“Yoongi,” you kiss his nose, “when will I get to read them or hear them?”

“When I think they’re good enough.”

The sound of your ringtone cuts into the air, disrupting the sweet moment between you and your boyfriend. You stand up to reach for your phone that’s placed on the counter, but he grips your waist, tickling your sides.

“No. Don’t answer it!”

“Yoongi! What if it’s important?”

Pouting a bit, he lets you go, although his fingers dig into your ribs, making you giggle. It’s an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

Your eyebrows furrow, “who’s this?”

“It’s Jungkook.”

You hold your palm over the speaker, “it’s Jungkook.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen a fraction, “oh okay.”

“Oh hey! How have you been?”

“I’ve been good.”

Yoongi watches the corner of your lips quirk up, “that’s great to hear.”

“And you?”

You pinch Yoongi’s chin, “oh. I’ve been great.”

Yoongi gives you a huge gummy smile, pinching your cheek in return.

“So…what’s up?”

“I’m back home.”

You nod, “really? Damn, I didn’t even realize that your course is over,” you laugh, you weren’t expecting a call from him. At all.

“Yeah, it is. Uhmmm I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?”

You mouth out the words, ‘he wants to meet up.’

“Ask him where.”

“Uhm sure. Where?”

“Okay great. I’ll text you.”

You hold your palm over the speaker again, “he said that he’ll text me.”

Yoongi nods, massaging your knees a bit, “remember what happened the last time.”

You remember, and you don’t want to be stood up again.

“Could you, uhm, meet me there? I mean, tell me when you get there?”

“Yeah, sure sure.”

You smile, “okay. See you later.”

“Bye, noona.”

With that, you cut the call, getting a notification, from the number you recognize as Jungkook’s new one, with the address of the café and the time.

You sigh, looking at up at Yoongi who watches you with a pensive stare.

“We were…supposed to have a talk. Whenever he’s ready.”

“A talk?”

“Yeah,” you squish his cheeks together and place a kiss on his lips, getting up from his lap to wash the few dishes in the sink, “I’m gonna get ready.”

He comes up behind you, pressing his chest to your back, “okay baby.”

With a kiss to your cheek, he makes his way to the lounge. You’re nervous to meet Jungkook, after everything. And maybe you felt a bit…jittery when you heard his voice. But you know where your heart is. Where your heart is safe.

Yoongi rolls the black pendant in his palm, watching Narongi as she tosses the yarn ball plushie around. You should be home by now, since Jungkook was just over and he left something with Yoongi, something for him to think about. He knows that you and Jungkook shared a special connection, even though you were never officially together, but he witnessed most of your tears, all spent on Jungkook. Jungkook’s noona. Someone that was there for him, the same way that he was there for you.

He doesn’t doubt your affections for himself, however. He knows that you share something other-worldly, and nothing can compare to that. He doesn’t have any idea what you and Jungkook might’ve spoken about, but he also knows that you had a lot to talk about. Jungkook gave him the gift that you had given to Jungkook. He sighs, knowing that he shouldn’t give this too much thought.

Hearing the lock click in the door, he stuffs the pendant in his jeans pocket, smiling when he sees you, holding two grocery bags in your hand.

You pull off your coat and scarf, sitting down on the couch next to him with a sigh that sounds a lot like the sigh of someone will all the worries in the world.

“How was it?”

You reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers and kissing his knuckles, “okay.”

“Uhm,” he reaches in his pocket, still warm from when he was staring at it, “Jungkook left this here just now.”

You take it from him, inspecting the spear-shaped pendant like you’re seeing it for the first time.

After a while, you place it in his palm and close his fingers around it, “you keep it.”

He doesn’t question it, placing it into his pocket again. He lips brush the top of your head when you curl into his side, talking to Norangi. A few moments pass and your fingers are curling around his thighs, rubbing slow circles into the skin. In a way that isn’t needy, maybe it is needy, but in a different way.

He nudges you to sit up, hooking his finger under your chin.

“Something’s wrong?”

The sigh you let out this time gets him worried, heart pounding in his chest.

“I love you.”

Yoongi swallows, “but…?”

You smile, gaze locked on his, “but nothing. I love you, Yoongi. With every bit of me.”

He pulls you to him, forehead pressing into your warm neck. He knew it.

“I love you.”

a/n: feedback is appreciated.

⤺Masterlist

taglist: @ggukkieland @moonchild1 @mwitsmejk @fancycollectormoon @nglmrk @bex-92br @taeslarityy @roundbuttonsuga

[minniepetals]

I am begging for a part 3 to the e2l mafia au 🥺

I know it’s only been 30 minutes so don’t stress yourself lovely 🥰

I love you ❤️

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12 / part 13 / part 14 / part 15 / part 16

"Y/N!" Jungkook gasps as he rushes over once he finds Hoseok coming into view with you laid in his arms. His eyes stare in horror at the state you're in, unconscious and a bit battered up. "What did they do to her?" His eyes darkens when he asks the question.

"What matters is that we've got her now," the older man dismisses his question before turning to Namjoon for his orders.

"Let the medic team treat her then we'll have to send her back to her father," he says and Hoseok responds with a nod before walking over towards Jimin who's getting treated himself.

"By the way," Jungkook speaks up just as Namjoon is about to walk away, causing the leader to stop in his tracks and turn around. The maknae touches the back of his neck, feeling a little hesitant. "You might want to...speak to her father about..."

Namjoon stares at him, slightly confused. "What's the rush? Can't wait to have her already?" He asks, a small smirk curling along the corner of his lips.

"What? No!" Though he says that, there is a slight blush on Jungkook's cheeks so Namjoon knows he's not too far from the truth. "I'm just letting you know that her father's found a creep for her so we need to butt in before anything gets too serious."

"I see." The smirk doesn't leave his lips. "Alright, maknae, I'll take care of it. In the meantime, try to come to terms with your feelings, will you?" He laughs as he pats the man on the head when he walks off.

"What feelings?!"

"Ha. You're funny, kid."

.

.

"Namjoon did what?" You blink in shock at what your father had just said.

He lets out a sigh before handing you the letter. "Read it yourself if you wish."

You take the letter without hesitation, quick to read through the content where you find Kim Namjoon's formal handwriting written on a fine piece of paper, asking to form an alliance through an arranged marriage with you.

No way. Did Jimin and Jungkook put him up to this? But then again, perhaps what you heard that day was actually true.

Or was it?

"Are you going to accept?" You ask your father once you finish reading everything to hand him back the letter.

"I would be a fool not to."

"Right..." You trail off as you fall into a daze, still in a state of shock.

"He came to ask me in person himself when they brought you back home before formally sending me the letter. Seems the man is pretty set on his decision." This marriage would certainly bring light into your world. For one it's helping out the mafia, two, Bangtan is very powerful and pretty influential, and three...well...you can't say you aren't exactly dissatisfied by them at all.

In fact, it's the total opposite.

"Father, will you let me make the decision this time?"

When you ask him this, your father falls a little confused. Despite how many times you've had your one-on-one with the boys of Bangtan, even your father could tell you were infatuated by them. So to hear your hesitation makes him wonder what it is you're thinking about.

"You're telling me you won't accept his proposal?" He raises a brow your way.

"Just for the moment," you say lightheartedly. "I want to give them a chase."

You aren't sure how many days it's been since then but luckily your father decided to humor you in your games and endeavors. He trusts you to make the right decision and you know just what the choice will be in the end but it can't be fun to simply say yes right away, will it?

When the sky falls dark and you're breezing past the city lights, you find a familiar silhouette just below the building you're stood on, and with an amused smile plastered upon your face, you find yourself jumping right down to meet him.

"Y/N." Namjoon isn't surprised by the sudden visit.

"Kim," you greet with a grin.

He takes a moment to take in your form, noticing the way you're light on your feet again without any injuries getting in your way.

You're alright now, that's good.

"Seems you really love playing hard to get, huh?"

You shrug lightly upon his question, skipping back on your toes as you hold your hands behind your back. "Yet you really love the chase, don't you?"

A sweet giggle leaves your lips, a beautiful sound he's always enjoyed to hear, and when you turn around with a playful glint in your eyes looking back at him over your shoulder, he knows he can't ever say no to that pretty face.

[lure-of-writing]

Lights out

Parings: Taehyung x Reader 

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: None 

Your love is bright as ever Even in the shadows

Walking back from your late night snack run hand in hand with Taehyung, he can’t help but to stare in wonder at you. It never fails to amaze him how much love you have. Even with you hidden away in the shadows of his world the brightness of your love shined through.

Baby kiss me

Before they turn the lights out

Sitting on the stage in the empty arena an hour after the show ended to simply admire the show the boys put on, Taehyung finds himself pulling on your hand “Baby kiss me before they turn the light out”  bringing your focus to the man besides you with a joyous laugh “Its going to be a while before the lights go out” “I know but I want you to kiss me.” a charming smile takes over his face before you decide to give into his request, soon after the lights do actually go out.

Your heart is glowing

After meeting Taehyung your friends would often comment about just how happy you looked. Family members would say that you seemed to quite frankly be glowing. At a casual family get-together everyone could feel the happiness falling off of you like waves. Sitting at the table in the backyard you find yourself in a conversation about your relationship. “So you’ve been together for a while now right?” your cousin Mandy asks you “Yeah” your smile beamed so brightly it could probably be seen in space “We will have been together for a year in a few days” “You're absolutely glowing when you talk about him” she comments. Your mother comes behind you and gently grabs your hair to gather it into a bun, the summer breeze nipping your now exposed back “Your heart is glowing and it shows on the outside”

And I'm crashing into you

When you had free time you would often accompany Taehyung to his rehearsals for their concerts. Namjoon and Yoongi stood on the stage watching you two. There in the middle of the empty arena, you stood on one side while Taehyung stood on the other. “Ready” you asked “Always” he nodded and the next thing the two rappers knew you were running full speed at him, before flinging your body to wrap around him. Catching you before stumbling back and eventually falling with you in his arms, the two of you couldn’t contain your laughter.

Baby kiss me

Before they turn the lights out

Baby love me lights out  

Sitting on the couch in the dorm with Taehyung laying his head in your lay, watching Jungkook play his games, you being to run your hands through his hair. Not long after you find yourself trying to braid his hair but before you can get the braid going he turns away from the tv to stare up at you “Baby kiss me” his request was simple, so that exactly what you did.

In the darkest night hour

I'll search through the crowd

Your face is all that I see

Standing on the stage with the lights pointed at him made it a little hard to see out into the crowd but none the less he still looked for you, and within seconds he found you because no matter how big the crowd he would always be able to spot you. You’re all he could see, you're all he wanted to see.

I'll give you everything

Sitting on the island of your kitchen mixing the bowl of pancake batter that was sitting in the middle of your legs, you and Taehyung were talking about the random things you thought when it came to your feature. “I want a big kitchen with an open floor plan, I want to be able to see everyone in the living room.” turning slightly to the side to look at you while cooking the bacon he can’t help but laugh “You’re actually going to cook?”  you stop stirring the pancake batter “I never said I was going to be cooking” “That's true” going back to your pancake batter before making another statement “I also want a house with consistent open floor plan actually, a house with a big backyard for when we have kids and a bunch of rooms for them and guests to stay in. I want my house to be the house everyone wants to come to because it feels safe here.” pausing to look at him before continuing “I want a lot of things though.” walking to stand in front of you he places a hand on your thigh, gently rubbing it “I’ll give you everything”

Baby love me lights out

You can turn my lights out

At the two year mark of your relationship Taehyung came to this world altering conclusion, without you his world was dark. It was as if you not being by his side meant that the lights were turned out and he absolutely hated every second of it.

We don't have forever

Ooh, baby daylight's wasting

“Come on Taehyung” the whine in your voice was extremely evident “ We don’t have forever” pulling on the sleeve of his shirt “baby daylight’s wasting” at this point you weren't just pulling on his shirt. You were pulling on him as a whole. The two of you were were supposed to head down to the beach and watch the sunset but he was taking his sweet time getting ready, which at any other time wouldn’t have annoyed you but this time it did. His laugh rings out behind you “Alright, alright I’m coming”

You better kiss me

Before our time has run out

His phone was positioned on top of the basket you brought to the beach with you. Taehyung was busy setting the timer for the picture while you were facing the horizon of the beach. Backing away slightly to make sure his phone wasn’t going to tip over before starting the timer and running over to you. Grabbing you around the waist and turning you while pointing at his phone. The number 8 pops up “We’re taking a picture” 7 “I see that” 6. Getting into position for your picture he want to make sure its a candid one. 5. wrapping a arm around your waist and pulling you into him. 4. You in turn wrap an arm around his neck and place a hand on his cheek. 3. “You better kiss me before our time has run out” 2. Gentle lips touch as your bodies encase each other. 1

Nobody sees what we see

They're just hopelessly gazing, oh

The other members would be lying if they said that they weren't at least a little jealous of what you and Taehyung have. When you were together the image of the world changed, everything was better, brighter, then is was before. Everyone knew you were so in love with each other.  At times it could get annoying how in love you were but most of the time they could only gaze at you and hope they that would find someone to love like you guys loved each other.

Oh, baby take me, me

Before they turn the lights out

Before our time has run out

Walking hand in hand slowly around the fair, you felt the excitement of the day begin to wear on you. Leaning your head onto his shoulder and letting out a quiet yawn “Baby take me home before they turn the lights out” he agrees without second guessing, and home it where you went.  

Baby love me lights out

In the darkest night hour

Stepping off the plane after leaving their last country on their world tour, he checked his phone. 2:14am was the time. He knew that you would be fast asleep but you were the first person he wanted to see, even if you were asleep. Stepping into your apartment with quiet steps and making his way to your room where as he guessed earlier you were asleep. Removing his clothes before crawling into bed with your, he can't help but wrap you in his arms and love on you even with the lights out.

I'll search through the crowd

Your face is all that I see

The after party of the MAMA awards could get pretty chaotic, granted there was a bunch of idols at one place celebrating, so it was expected. What wasn't expected was losing you in the crowd of people, all he did was turn around for like two seconds he swears. Knowing you could get a little anxious in these types of environments. You were a little smaller then most of the people in the room which made it harder to find you but within a matter of minutes he had spotted you and guided you back over to where he and the boys were at.

I'll give you everything

All of bts and their family member had gotten together to celebrate their success and relax with family. Kids were busy running around and tae was entertaining them. You knew he always wanted to have kids and start a family, but for know you were still to young and he was still giving his all to bts. Feeling your eyes on him and turns around and smiles at you before being tackled by one of the kids running around. With a nod of your head it was settled “I’ll give you everything”

Baby love me lights out

Baby love me lights out

You can turn my lights out

Nights were nothing was going on was his favorite because that meant he could lounge around and do absolutely nothing expect cuddle you while watching movies. Not even half way through the second movie you were watching you had fallen asleep curled into his side, grabbing the remote that controlled the lights he turned the lights out so you could sleep better.

Our love is like XO

You love me like XO

You kill me boy XO

Your love is like XO

“Hey Y/N texted you” Jimin told Taehyung “ what does it say” He was currently helping jin cook and didn't want to get his phone dirty with the food on his hands “Its says, I’m not feeling the best I’ve got a headache and cramps so I’ll be asleep but I just wanted to let you know incase you text me” nodding his head while thanking Jimin he makes a mental note of things to get on his way to your apartment, before Jimin can walk out of the kitchen he speaks “Will you just text her xo”

All that I see

Give me everything

Baby love me lights out

It had been three years at this point of Taehyung dating you and he knew he wanted to propose to you soon so that's what he got ready to do. Propose. I cleared the whole house and brought you. He told you that he wanted to have a movie night which you gladly agreed to, little did you know that the “movie” was going to be a video of your relationship over the last three years. With tears in your eyes and a hand over your mouth, you turn to look at Taehyung hold a ring in-between his fingers “Y/n your all that I see when I think of my feature, the last three years has been absolutely amazing and I know that the rest of our lives will be like that also. You have given me everything I never knew I needed, so let me give everything to you, until the lights go out”

You can turn my lights out

In the darkest night hour

Every couple has their own word/s and phrases with each other yours with Taehyung was lights out. It was raining why you sat in front of the glass door staring at the stars. Sitting besides you, he also begins to look at them, “You know I’ll love you until the light of the stars go out”

I'll search through the crowd

Your face is all that I see

The reception of your wedding was packed not only with both of your families but with of course bts and their families as well as friends and their plus ones. It wasn’t a unnecessary amount of people just those you felt closes to. Both of you had been making your rounds as a newly wedded couple to thank everyone for attending when you had sighted an old friend, leaving Taehyung in the dust to catch up with your friend. He knew at some point that you were going to be separated from his side but he still wanted to make sure you were always ok. Looking through the crowd until he spots you, giving you a gentle smile to let you know that he knew where you were and where he was, he let you continue with your conversation because your face was all he needed to see. All he wanted to see.

I'll give you everything

Baby love me lights out

Baby love me lights out

You can turn my lights out

Falling asleep in Taehyung arms that night was the most peace full thing you've ever experienced in your life. Holding you tiny hand in his, he can’t help but stare at the ring he put on your finger almost a year ago. The second the ring was placed upon your finger he wanted to get married right away, but he had other commitments that you would not let him get out of. Pulling your hand up to his lips he pressed him on top of your knuckles “I’ll love you until the lights out”

[unbeli-bubble]

Sweet Apology |jjk|

▪Outline: You are mad at Jungkook because he ditched you to go with his friends. Now, in the morning he is trying to gain your forgiveness by sinful means....not that you mind.

©️ @lataes

▪Pairing: Jungkook × f!reader

▪Genre: Smut, fluff, domestic!AU, relationship!AU

▪Wordcount: 1.8k

▪Warning: explicit sexual content, soft dom!jungkook, sub!reader, unprotective penetrative sex, oral (f!receiving), aftercare, kissing and cringy apologies, half to full naked Jk with tattoos I drool over.

▪A/n: Alright, first fic alert here, so if it's too cringy or not to your liking, please wait. I will get better at this. New on this site too so if any of you would like, you can message me. I would love to know you guys 💖. Enjoy this little mess!

The gentle sunlight crept through the windows of your room. Your eyes gradually opened and you took your sweet time revealing your surroundings.

Your eyes drifted to the nightstand clock, 7:30 a.m. it said. It was a Sunday, free as usual. You had already made all the plans for your free day. You would go to the salon first and then do the grocery shopping. After that cook for you and Jungkook and then watch Men in Black: International and then cuddle to sleep. It's your routine for every Sunday, but something happened last night which made you change your mind.

You finally register the strong arms holding you close and the warm body heat you were relishing in your sleep.

You look down and see a firm hand around your abdomen, full of tattoos. You suddenly become very aware of your boyfriend's 'morning glory' firmly pressing into your ass.

If this would have been some other day, you would have helped him with it but not today, not after the stunt he pulled yesterday. He knew you would be mad but he still went out with his friends and ditched you. Again.

You softly remove his hand from your waist and hear him groan. You freeze your movements right there but then again hear his light snores and continue to shift him. You gently get out of the bed and then go to the bathroom to freshen up.

When you come out, you still find him sleeping, so you gently tuck him in the mattress. Yes, you are mad but that won't stop you from taking care of him. Plus he looks too cute. You know you won't be able to stay mad at him for long, but till the ods are with you, you will try.

You go to the kitchen, put on your apron and start preparing your breakfast. Nutella pancakes. It's a delicious recipe your mother had taught you three years ago and you love to make them now and then.

First, you take the Nutella jar and take a spoon full of it and place it on a tray in circular form. Then you put them in the freezer, they will be used later. You see the spoon - the one you used earlier for scooping out Nutella - lying on the counter. You took the spoon and ate the rest of the thick goodness from the spoon.

You hear the bedroom door open and see Jungkook walking towards you, wearing nothing but his grey sweatpants. His tattoed arm and his muscle-bound torso on full display. You try to avert your eyes from him and focus on the task ahead. You are mad at him and he has to know that.

He moves around the counter and slides behind you, his arms automatically wrapping around your waist. He lays his head on your shoulder to see what you are doing. After taking a look at the batter, he gives a hum of approval and nestles closer, in the crook of your neck.

"G'morning" he said with his sleep laced voice.

You didn't acknowledge his greeting and instead started to mix the ingredients present in the bowl.

"What?" he asked puzzled.

"What 'what'? " you reply in fake confusion.

He is watching you intently. Probably trying to understand the core issue of your anger. After a moment, his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise. He takes a deep breath and releases it, preparing himself to give a plausible explanation for breaking his promise. But you are not going to waver.

"Are you mad that I ditched you yesterday to go with the boys?" he inquired

You still didn't say anything and continue with your work.

"I am so sorry" he said nuzzling more into your neck. His hot breath fanning your sensitive skin made a shiver run down your spine. You still didn't say anything to him.

"Gonna give me the silent treatment now huh" he said and you tried hard to focus on your angry demeanour. His pouty face and ruffled bed hair are too cute for you but you have to stay strong. He has to learn to give importance to the promises he makes. Even if he knew beforehand, he could have comforted you and told you to shift plans for Saturday night.

"You are not gonna forgive me, are you?" he says and you slightly tilt your head in the opposite direction.

"Fine. Looks like I have to do this the hard way" he says and moves his hand and holds your jaw, shifts your face towards him and kisses you. His lips soft and warm linked to your own. His lips move against yours in a slow and deliberate kiss. He knows that these kisses always get you yet he is doing this to you.

You know you won't be able to stay mad at him for long but you want to take up this opportunity and see where this leads you.

He releases your lips "Am I forgiven now?" he asks with his big doe eyes.

"No. Let me do my work or else you want to stay hungry" you spat back.

"Oh! Is that so?" he says then pouts as if he is thinking of something important.

"You do your work and I'll do mine. No disturbance" he says after a while.

"Fine with me" you say. You sure are happy that he gave up but he has a playful mind. Sure he is up to something, plus he never had worked on Sunday morning.

Before you could ask about his 'work' he starts to kiss your jawline. His strong arms still holding you in place physically. His kisses lead him to your neck and he starts to lay feather-light kisses on the junction of your neck and shoulder. You still try to focus on mixing the pancake batter but Jungkook is diverting you in the best ways possible.

His kisses move to your ear and he starts playing with your earlobe. Your knees buckle and he knows that he has found your sweet spot, just below your ear. He licks your spot which makes your breathing increase.

"Do your work princess" he says abruptly and you didn't even realise when your hands had stopped.

He puts your hair aside and starts to kiss at the nape of your neck, each of his kisses filled with purpose.

You didn't realise his desire pressing into you earnestly. A shiver ran down your spine as your desire is building up. You can feel wetness pooling in your core. Your eyes are fixated on the batter but your mind was getting foggy with each passing second.

He kneels to the level of your ass now. He swiftly removes your pants and panties and gently tugs them at your ankle, signalling you to push them aside. You move out of them slowly and Jungkook throws them away.

"So pretty" he says while squeezing your ass in his palms. He places gentle kisses on your cheeks which raise goosebumps in their wake. You are trying to focus on your work but he is making this so difficult for you.

He spreads your cheeks and your breath hitches when the cold air hits your dampness. "Already so wet for me. I thought you were mad at me" he says cockily and you can feel his smirk on your skin.

His lips close around your pussy and you let out a low moan that you have been holding for so long. He lets out a hum in response and it spiked a rush of pleasure in you. You held on to the counter to anchor yourself, the tiles are cold yet firm as they keep your balance.

His tongue swirls around your clitoris and you are losing yourself to him. You knew you could never win but putting up a fight was worth it and you are ready to accept this type of defeat at any given time.

Your gasps and breathy moans were enough to fuel him. He increased his pace and flattened his tongue to apply more pressure.

"Jungk - aah" you moan before completing your sentence. You could feel yourself shifting near the verge of ecstasy.

After you few of his strokes you were tumbling down the edge. You were so thankful that Jungkook's arms were supporting you otherwise it wouldn't take long for you to fall on the kitchen floor. He stands up and rests his head on your shoulder. His chin is slightly wet now. You hear a little stifling behind you but you don't bother about it.

"Am I forgiven now?" he asks so innocently as if he hasn't done a single sin.

"What would you do if I say no?" you ask him

"I would do something like this" he says and lines up himself up and pushes his length inside of you. You let out a needy moan which suggested for him to move and so he obliged.

His thrusts are strong and you are not able to focus on anything right now. As if reading your mind he says

"Are you not gonna finish up your work?" his movements getting faster

"I'm - I - Jungkook" you mewl his name and he grunts behind you, his voice low, its effect rushing south.

"Nghh" you completely lose yourself in him. Damn this fight. You know you lost, he knows you lost. You try to hold yourself on the kitchen counter as he fucks you.

Your eyes close in bliss. Both of your bodies are sweaty now and you both would have to take a bath after this but right now, you wanted to savour the pleasure that is crashing into you.

You tip your head back and shut your eyes, a high pitched moan escaping from your mouth.

The knot in your stomach is getting tighter and you desperately want the sweet release. You could feel his heavy breath against your neck which made you come closer to the edge again.

Your arms tighten around the countertop as your find your release. Euphoria shot through your veins as you felt Jungkook's laboured breath hitching. He was so close, you know that his thrusts became so rough as you came around him.

Your senses are heightened due to the oversensitivity and you unknowingly squeeze around him making him groan. His release comes within seconds. Both of you are breathing heavily, slick with sweat. Your breakfast and fight long-forgotten.

"Am I - am I forgiven now?" he askes huffing and you let out a breathy laughter

"Yes. Yes, you are forgiven" you say and he nuzzles closer to you.

After a while, you both clean up, finish up with the Nutella pancakes and snuggle close to each other and watch Men in Black: International as planned.

[eternally-writing]

helping hands | jjk

genre: fluff and angst

rating: G (no swearing or sexual content)

pairing: Jungkook x reader

theme: parent!au, idol!au, husband!au, one-shot

word count: 3k

warnings: none

synopsis: Parenting in general? Hard. Parenting while your husband Jungkook is away on tour? Extra hard.

special thank you to @justasparkwritings for beta reading this and @moccahobi for helping me with the title!

banner by me!

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

It had been 2 weeks since Jungkook had left on tour. You would think that after being in the industry for 10 years he would have a little more leniency with his schedule, but even after the birth of your little girl, Jungkook couldn’t seem to get out of a 3 week tour around Japan and Korea.

It seemed like the Earth was weeping with you today as the rain battered against your window while you made what seemed like your 15th cup of coffee for the day. Your daughter Gidae was for once not crying - and you were eternally grateful since it gave you time to change out of your puke-covered shirt and close your eyes for 5 seconds... as if that was any replacement for the lack of sleep you’ve encountered.

All your friends whose husbands were busy idols or businessmen gave you the advice that “everything falls into place over time when you’re parenting on your own”. That it just magically happened. You’re not sure what memo you missed, or if there’s some book you forgot to read, or if worst of all, you lacked some parental intuition that everyone else possessed. Jungkook had left 13 days ago, and nothing had fallen into place.

Between Gidae being up all night every night, the pile of puke covered laundry sitting in a pile in the corner of your room, the dirty dishes in the sink that had accumulated to the point that you were eating your microwave meals with plastic cutlery, you definitely felt like a failure.

And probably the worst part of it all was that Jungkook wasn’t here to help you. This wasn’t the first time Jungkook left on tour while you two have been together, but it was the first time he had left you since Gidae had been born. The first time he had left you, a first time mother, alone with your child for an extended period of time. The first time you needed help and couldn’t ask him for it.

As if on command, while you were bracing yourself on the counter in exhaustion, your phone began to ring.

Incoming call: hubby kook ♡

As you pressed “accept call”, you could immediately heard the hustle and bustle of the backstage crowd. Too tired to be the first to say hello, you waited to see how long it would take for him to realize you were on the other line.

“Hey Y/N, just checking in before the show! How are things?” cheered Jungkook.

You could imagine what Jungkook looked like as he talked to you: already dressed in his first stage outfit, a makeup artist blotting away at the nervous sweat on his forehead, him grinning ear to ear with his hyungs and bursting with excitement for performing.

On a normal day, if you had maybe actually gotten some sleep or eaten at least one meal that didn’t come out of your freezer in the past week, you probably could have mustered a convincing “good! How’s the show going?” But you were on your last straw, and it was already giving way.

“Bad Jungkook. It’s bad. I haven’t slept at all for as long as I can remember. I have no clean clothes or clean dishes, I haven’t showered since you left so I smell like a pungent mixture of puke, sweat, and god knows what else, and Gidae misses you and won’t stop crying.So yes, it’s horrible without you here.”

You knew that wasn’t what Jungkook expected to hear,the sharp intake of breath on his side serving as a telltale sign you had caught him off guard.

“Baby I-, I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

You couldn’t stop your voice from cracking as you continued. Your chest was tightening, feelings bubbling over.

“It’s -“ you paused to take a breath. “It’s really hard without you Jungkook. Really really hard.”

Jungkook tried his best to piece together the words over the phone, but you could already hear the speakers in the background calling for Jungkook to head to his position for the start of the show.

“Y/N I-“

“You have to go Jungkook, I know. Bye.”

You didn’t give him a second to recuperate as you ended the call.

No parenting book ever provided you with advice on this. The loneliness, helplessness, and frustration you were feeling right now. Crumpling down to the kitchen floor, you felt like the world was collapsing around you as you sobbed.

As if on cue, Gidae’s cries joined yours from the other room.

--♡--

You woke up slouched in a rocking chair in the nursery, with your hand reaching down to touch your daughter’s in her crib. She seemed to show you some leniency by sleeping more than 2 hours at a time, but unsure of how much free time she’d give you, you figured you might as well get a head start of the day since you felt like you were miserably falling behind already.

While mixing some formula in your kitchen, you heard a knock on your front door. The only people who ever came over were the boys and a couple of your friends, and you definitely weren’t expecting any visitors at 8am.

Frying pan clutched in your hand (safety first, right?), you creaked open your door to see a small woman standing in front of you.

With a cheery smile painting her face, the lady began to speak.

“Mrs. Jeon, I’m Seokjin-ssi’s nanny. I’ve been sent here today to take care of Gidae. Here’s a note from Mr. Jeon.”

You couldn’t help the smile that decorated your face after reading it. After so many years together, Jungkook still managed to surprise you. Taking in that there was now a woman in your house who was basically Supernanny here to help you, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.

When Jungkook said that you were going to be pampered today, he sure meant it. By a “car” being outside, he actually meant a glorious Porsche with a driver and all your favorite snacks tucked in the backseat. He had booked an entire spa day just for you to get whatever treatments you needed without having to deal with the hustle and bustle of anyone else being around. Simply being in an environment that didn’t always sound like crying and children’s TV shows felt like heaven. A schedule had been waiting when you arrived, including a built in “nap” (multiple hours is just sleep, right?) in one of their private suits and lunch with none other than your best friend. It was the best surprise, and the girl talk you shared was exactly what you needed. Of course the mom guilt crept in, but whenever it did you reminded yourself of Jungkook’s words - you needed this, and only once you take care of yourself will you really be able to take care of your daughter.

You weren’t sure if it was because of the hydrating face mask or the 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep that you were able to get, but you walked into your house with a new pep in your step thanks to the relaxing day that Jungkook planned for you.

Welcomed by Ms. Yeong wearing an apron and bustling around your kitchen, you smelled freshly baked cookies (chocolate chip, your favorite too) and were thrilled at the sight of a clean house in front of you.

Wiping her hands on her apron, she began to speak with that signature smile.

“I’ve cooked dinner for you tonight and also have meals for the next 3 days in the fridge. The dishes are all done and your laundry should all be folded in your drawers. Gidae just had some milk and is now watching some Cocomelon.She woke up from her nap around 3 hours ago.”

In your excitement you couldn’t help giving her the biggest hug, squeezing her tightly. Slowly, Ms.Yeong began to pat your back, unclear about whether this hug was really for you or for her.

“I’m just doing my job Mrs. Jeon.”

You pulled away to look sincerely into her eyes.

“You are seriously a lifesaver Ms.Yeong, I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

After patting your back again, it was her turn to be sincere.

“You’re a good mother, Mrs. Jeon. I know it may not feel like it sometimes, but you really are. Gidae is lucky to have you as a mom.”

Tears began to prick at your eyes, but unlike yesterday, these were happy tears. With all the failures that you had felt in the past two weeks, it meant everything to hear those words from someone, to get some confirmation that you weren’t completely messing things up.

Unable to make any words come out of your mouth, all you could do was nod in appreciation at what she was able to do for you today. Your eyes glimmering with unshed tears said all the words that Ms.Yeong needed to hear.

As she walked out the door, you made a mental note to message Seokjin and thank him for finding the angel on Earth who saved you today.

--♡--

Picking up your daughter from her crib, you cooed and brought her to you. Settling into your rocking chair, you cradled her gently in her arms.

“Mommy missed you today, babygirl, and I know you miss daddy.”

At the mention of the word “daddy” you could see your daughter perk up, looking around and trying to find said male.

All you could do is kiss her forehead. “I miss your daddy too. He’s really amazing, yknow.”

“Amazing, really? I may have said handsome, or sexy, or...”

Your head whipped around to the source of the sound.

And there he was, in the flesh. Jeon Jungkook, the man you had been waiting to see for days on end, was standing right at the door.

“Hi my love,” he said with his silly grin.

Your heart felt like it was bursting as you saw him there, and you couldn’t help but start sobbing your heart out (and I mean ugly sobbing). You felt a waterfall of emotions seeing Jungkook so close.

“Hey hey hey, what’s with this crying? I came home because I didn’t want you to be crying anymore baby.”

Walking over to you, he crouched in front of your chair and started to wipe your tears. Cupping your face in his hands, he pressed his forehead against you.

“I missed you Y/N. I missed you so much.”

You were still reeling from Jungkook’s presence.

“You have no idea how much I’ve dreamed about this Kook. I feel like I’m dreaming.”

Jungkook pressed a short kiss on your lips.

“Well believe it, I’m here for real babe,” he said sentimentally as he peppered your face with kisses.

Picking your daughter out of your grasp, Jungkook lifted Gidae into his hold, lifting her slightly into the air first to make her giggle. Putting on his best stern dad voice, he began his lecture.

“And you little miss, what is this I hear about you causing trouble for your mom?” Questioned Jungkook.

You smiled through your tears as you watched Jungkook go into “dad mode”.

“Before I left you promised you’d be a good girl, but I think good girls don’t cry all through the night and they definitely don’t make a mess with their toys or throw up all over their mommy.”

As Jungkook raised an eyebrow, your daughter looked at him, slightly apologetic, eyes shifting down to the floor, as if she could understand a word of what he said.

“But most of all Gidae, I missed you a whole lot. Your daddy missed you a whole lot.”

You felt like your heart could burst at the way Jungkook looked at your daughter. Even though he might be miles away when he works, you know that he doesn’t love you or your daughter any less.

“I’ll let you put her back to bed, daddy. It is my day off after all, right?” You joked with a chuckle.

Picking up your hand and kissing your palm, Jungkook grinned in agreement.

“Of course my love, go wash up and I’ll see you in bed.”

--♡--

After reading A Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Princess & the Pea, and Rainbow Fish, Gidae was beginning to yawn in Jungkook’s arms. It seemed that it wasn’t just Jungkook who was reluctant to let their father-daughter time come to an end, as Gidae was still fighting to keep her eyes open, and always kept one tiny fist clutched onto the middle of Jungkook’s shirt, as if she was worried he could disappear at any moment.

Wondering what was taking them so long, you peeked your head back in the doorway to watch Jungkook look at your daughter like she was the one who put the stars in the sky. Not wanting to interrupt, you stayed as silent as possible as you watched them together.

“Now I’m gonna say something very important Gidae, and you need to listen very very carefully to me.”

Bringing her up to eye level, Jungkook looked at your daughter sincerely as he continued.

“Sometimes daddy isn’t here and it’s just you and mommy, but I want you to know that daddy loves you and mommy so much, and you’re always gonna be daddy’s little girl, even if I’m not here with you. And I miss you always, so so much. Daddy loves you.”

You could see the tears start to stream down Jungkook’s face, and as much as you wanted to run to him and wipe his tears, just as he did hours earlier, you knew that this moment wasn’t for you. This was for Jungkook and Gidae, and you were sure that he was going to remember this forever.

“You know what would make me so happy Gidae? If you could say the word daddy. Come on - “da” “da”. You can do it!”

He started to bounce her on his lap, exaggerating his mouth movements so much that you were worried that he would accidentally pop his jaw out. His ministrations continued on fruitlessly, with Gidae still staring at him with big doe eyes (a trait she inherited from Jungkook, of course).

Unable to hide your presence any longer, you had to help Jungkook out. “You were only gone for 2 weeks, Kook. She’s still only 6 months old, it’s going to be a little while before she says any words.”

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. It seemed that Gidae had finally succumbed to sleep in his arms, and he stared down at her again.

“Look at how big she is Y/N, she’s grown so much just in the little while I’ve been gone.”

He looked at you with tears shimmering in his doe eyes yet again.

“Seriously, next time I leave on a tour and come back she’s going to be walking and talking or something.” joked Jungkook as he lightly wiped his tears.

You hugged Jungkook from behind, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before resting your head on it.

“Wherever you are though babe, I’m gonna take photos and videos of all of it so you won’t miss a second of it.”

Jungkook stayed silent as he simply enjoyed having his small family together again.

“You were right earlier you know, on the phone.”

“Hmm?” You hummed in response, unsure of what he was getting at.

“This isn’t working - me leaving isn’t working. I’m not 15 years old anymore, when I could just drop everything and travel the world; I have the two most precious girls in the world with me now, and I need to take care of them.”

Putting his hand in yours, you sincerely looked him in the eye.

“We’re always going to be proud of you Koo, and you know I love watching you do what you love. This may be the hard part, once she gets a little older we could start travelling with you or you could fly back too. Whatever comes our way, we’ll handle it together.”

Jungkook kissed you passionately, hoping his lips could convey what he couldn’t seem to put into words. He repeated your words back to you.

“Whatever comes our way, we’ll handle it together.”

As if Mother Nature was on your side, the rain stopped, leaving the smell of new beginnings wafting in through your window.

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

If you liked what you read please interact/follow! Thank you for reading♡ - Emily