#{ ash continuing to be resident ace }

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Unleashed 18+ Hakkai Shiba x Fem Reader WC:500+ Masterlist Resident: @enchantedforest-network TW: penetration, rough sex, cervix kissing, creampie, cursing,cuddles at the end. A/N: I couldn't keep this in I've been feral all day. this man was the reason why I couldn't act right at all day today xD Like Brainrott was so real. @-@ No one can change my mind, Hakkai being a Shiba he does have that Shiba trait if he wants to take control he will.

Seeing you completely lose it as your shoulders were over his shoulder only drove to bury his cock deeper inside of you. His knuckles were white as he was clenching his fist, as the sound of his skin slapping against yours. Among the sounds of your moans trickling from your lips. The way you cried his name out loud. He wanted to hear more of it. His cheeks were red as his eyes narrowed down at you being a complete wreck full of bliss and sheer lust. His biceps contract with a large amount of adrenaline pumping through his veins. “Is this how you wanted it darling?” he grunts his eyes focusing on you. “Yess don’t stop~~!” you gave him the queue to continue his rougher lovemaking. Just telling him ‘hard Hakkai’ with each thrust he gave you what you wanted. He was hesitant at first but once that phrase spilled from your plump lips he craved it more himself. Driving his cock deeper and deeper into your pussy. 

The intense gaze in his eyes fixated with your lewd expression he was trying too hard not to cum just yet. Your pussy wrapping around him nice and snuggling he didn’t want it to end. “Fuck you feel so good, your making it so hard not to cum.” panting as he was trying to keep control of the situation wanting to last way longer. You could see the veins popping out on the side of his head. 

Unclenching his fist his hand groping your breast a bit more rougher. His thumb pressed against the middle of your lips. Your lips parted as you began to suck on his thumbs mimicking as if it were his cock. “Baby you're so fucking hot, shit you're gonna make me cum.” folding you more in half the tip of his cock was kissing your cervix. Your snug warm walls were squeezing his cock more than it was before. His cock pulsates inside of you with the final few thrust he slammed into you releasing his hot seed deep inside your empty pussy. He let out a loud groan as his body became inflexible at the moment. He began milking the rest of his cum inside of you doing such shallow thrusts. He felt his arms become weaker as his sudden rush was coming down. It took him a moment before he pulled himself up, removing your legs from his shoulder.  Pulling out slowly from your filled pussy his cum began to trickle out of you. The first thing he did was to make sure you were okay.  “Did I hurt you too much?” You shook your head. “I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me.”

He gave a relieved smile as he scooted over laying down next to you. He brought you closer to his body, his arms wrapping around you. He kissed your temple, his body was exhausted and he could tell you were too. Both of you have no urge to get up from the bed right now. Both of you just lay in each other's arms.

Tags: @the-haitani-baton, @satanlovesusall666, @galactict3a, @ratlovecat, @niko-ash, @iluv-ace, @captainmycaptainn, @strawberrychrome, @missgab, @anxious-chick, @livefromraleigh, @kei-b-gurlll, @spookiisopium, @bontensbabygirl, @txna04,

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[itstheendofthegoddamnworld]

The Dragon’s Spoil (Aemond Targaryen x Rivers! Reader)

Part 1   |   Part 2  |   Part 3   |   Part 4

Summary: The baseborn daughter with little knowledge of who your Lord father was, your life is caught in the midst of war. The Riverlands are the base for the Greens and the Blacks, dragons loom in the skies, and men die daily, especially within the walls of the cursed Harrenhal. It’s only when a certain one-eyed dragon comes for his retribution. The year is 130 AC and war endures.

A/N: You’re Alys Rivers but with less sorcery and more so just judgement over being a bastard. You’re around the same age as Aemond, maybe two-three years older than him at the time of the Dance.

Wordcount: 2,400

The Dragon’s Revenge

It is known by Commons and Nobles alike that the Targaryens have always ruled the skies.

They had for the last century: when the Old King had his decades of peace, continuing to his grandson, Viserys I. Dragons continued to fly over towns and for that century, the common people stared in both admiration and terror.

Peace did not continue for long, not after the death of the King and its disputes finally sprung forth. Rhaenyra, the King’s eldest daughter and Aegon, the second born but eldest living son from his second marriage had begun their war for the throne, and the people suffered for it. 

It didn’t matter what the poor folk thought, not when their opinions were silenced over the sounds of constant clashing steel and the rumbling of dragons roaring above. Wherever war went, the people died for it, and on and on did the cycle continue.

The Riverlands had seen the most of the war, for a dragon appeared from the skies in early 129 AC. The blood wrym circled and landed on the Kingspyre Tower with a screech that shook the castle grounds. 

The castellan, Ser Simon Strong, yielded it without the need of spilling blood to Prince Daemon Targaryen and he used it as a nearby base to carry his side’s attacks.

For the next few months, dragons and armies came and went through Harrenhal, your home for as long as you could remember. You had been fostered by the old man and uncle of Lyonel Strong, Ser Simon after the death of your mother, an unknown woman no one knew of. Not much was known about your father too: noble or baseborn too, there was one thing for certain, your looks were undeniably Strong.

The first men's blood was strong in your veins: from the curls that reached the small of your waist, black as a raven’s wing, to your eyes, brown as chestnuts. Squires and maids whispered within the walls of Harrenhal, murmuring of your potential parentage. One of the many kin of House Strong, many whispered it had been Harwin “Breakbones”, the man who fathered Princess Rhaenyra’s children with her first husband, Laenor Velaryon. 

Others whispered it had been the castellan himself, Ser Simon, who took pity on his natural daughter, taking her in as a handmaiden. Some even mocked it had been Larys, Harwin’s brother and the Master of Whispers for Aegon’s small council, but those also mocked that spoke that it would’ve been impossible for him to even father children.

Harrenhal was a ruined castle: those who resided in its walls spoke of ghosts, deathly and dreadful, cursing those who was the owner. It was no surprise to you when you had heard of the rumours: of Lyonel and Harwin’s deaths and those that came before.

“Have you heard?” You had been kneeling by the fireplace when your closest friend, Perra came running through into the main apartment, a letter screwed in her hand.

“If you’ve come to tell me this bloody war is not over, I’m not interested.” You chided, wiping away the ash from your calloused hands against your apron. 

Perra was from House Grey, a knightly house sworn to House Tully. Brown-haired and long-faced and a girl of ten-and-seven, she was as skinny as a stick and small as one too. Her uncle, Ser Garibald had sworn to the Blacks from the beginning of the conflict and it was without a doubt that Perra agreed.

She grinned toothily, shoving the letter in your face, assuming you were literate. “You will be most pleased to read what just arrived.” As you unravelled the scroll, your eyes darting over the words you were reading. “My uncle brings news. The Queen has taken over King’s Landing. Aegon has not been seen nor his children. The Queen Helaena and Dowager Alicent have been captured.” 

“The Greens will not be most pleased to have their Queen returning to claim her father’s throne.” You rejected the letter quickly, handing it back over to Perra.

“This is good news, Y/N. The war will soon be over. Stark bannermen march down, so too will the Arryns.”

It didn’t seem possible that the wounded usurper king was missing but not much was known of his remaining brothers. Daeron remained at large a threat with his dragon, Tessarion, but what about the one-eyed brother, Aemond?

“You forget one thing, Perra. The King may be missing, but he has two other brothers, Aemond and Daeron. And they have dragons too. What would we do with them? Or where could they be?” 

“They fight elsewhere.” Perra was too naïve to know such a thing, the excitement and positivity were good to hear of, but you doubted the Greens would leave the capital open so easily. “Vhagar has not been seen with her rider for days.”

Certainly, they will be looking for revenge. You dreaded. 

Your conversation was broken when the low, dreadful sound came as a response of caution.

A long, blow of a horn was sounded in the courtyard, and the rush of footsteps and shouts erupted as vast as the sound of battle. Steel and shields could be heard being collected and as Perra rushed to the window to look out, she shouted. “A dragon comes! The Rogue Prince without a doubt.”

How you wish it had been.

The shadow of this dragon was much too large to belong to the blood wrym, looming over the entirety of Harrenhal like dusk. It appeared as if it was an apparition, and fears of what happened a century ago from the first Aegon could happen again.

It had not been Daemon that had arrived, but rather a one-eyed Prince who landed in the courtyard.

The ground shook when the old beast landed, mighty and worn from a thousand battles. The she-dragon growled, hissed and spat as she stared down at those who had gathered arms in protecting the base.

From her saddle, Aemond climbed down, appearing in gleaming armour of black and gold, adorning a helm of similar colours and a long dark plume. He was not mistaken for another Targaryen, for when the banners of a gold dragon on green cloth began to be marched through, you realised the war had not been over just yet.

You and Perra ran as fast as you could, gathering behind the stalls, and observing the entire ordeal go down. 

From this close, you saw the Prince, and despite missing an eye, you couldn’t help but marvel at how otherworldly and comely he was from afar. Targaryen women were blessed with the rare beauty of Old Valyria, and so too were the men.

Aemond stood mighty in front of his dragon, and beside him, the new Hand, Ser Criston Cole, aged and haggard and not so knightly as the stories spoke of him. War and hatred had aged him horribly, and he stood with a sour face, adorning the golden armour of the Kingsguard and pin of the Hand.

“Which Strong rules this castle?” Aemond spoke aloud to the crowd that had gathered and when no one spoke or came quick enough, Vhagar hissed impatiently.

It didn’t take long for a voice to be heard, emerging the old man who presumably shared your blood. “Aye, I am.”

Aemond responded coolly towards him, “Ser Simon, I assume? Can you recall to me, Ser, which Master of Whispers sits at my brother’s council?”

“My grand-nephew, Larys, my Prince.”

“And you agree that you share the familiar ties to Strong blood?”

“Aye, my Prince.”

His seeing eye was wide with rage, mouth twisted when he spoke in unwavering patience. “Then pray tell, why have you yielded the castle to my uncle, and kept it as a base for the forces of his whore of a wife and pretender Queen?”

Ser Simon did not yield under the heavy gaze of the Prince, nor with the hot breath of the dragon eyeing him down. He had no hesitation when he stared death in the face, and he must’ve known that he would die this day. 

Perhaps in the jaws of a dragon. You thought.

Simon spoke calmly. “Prince Daemon took the castle without spilling blood. I am, without a doubt, loyal to my Queen.”

Aemond tutted, his purple eye glaring in rage, though he remained calm. “You waited daily for a dragon to return and now, one does. Do you yield your castle to King Aegon, Second of his Name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm?”

“Your brother – that cunt of a man – you wish for me to yield my castle to him?”

Aemond was to speak before Criston Cole stalked towards him, ready to unsheathe his sword. “Not yet, Cole.”

The Hand did not answer as he slowly stepped away from Simon, glaring silently. “Yes, my Prince.”

“I will not ask again, Ser. Answer truthfully and you will be spared alongside your kin. My dragon will not burn your walls the same way it did at the hands of my ancestor a century ago. Do. You. Yield?”

“I would never accept the words from a kinslayer.”

Kinslayer. The word was wrought with dread from the simple term, and it seemed to both spook and bring Aemond’s temper to rise. Or neither. Murdering his nephew with his dragon, chasing them along the clouds only for them to meet a death falling into the sea.

Aemond nodded to the honest words, and it took you everything not to grab Perra and flee through the castle gates. You knew that the Green’s forces stood just outside to chase any Black loyalists down. 

Or even have Vhagar have a meal if she’s hungry. You shivered. Instead, you stood still, frozen in terror of what would happen if you were spotted.

The next words to come from Aemond’s mouth were wrought with venom.

“Cole. Bring me my sword.” 

Men of Aemond’s forces grabbed for Simon, kicking and knocking him to his knees, holding him by the back of his burly arms. The Hand did not say a word, silently moving like a shadow before bringing forth what the Prince had wanted. There were cries in the crowd, presumably from those who were close kin to Simon. 

A sword flashed bright silver when it was unsheathed from the Prince, as he stalked his way towards the knelt man. 

“Speak now or forever hold your silence, old man,” Aemond asked, his mouth thin and twisted, holding the blade in between both hands. “Do you have any final words?” 

“Gods be good to you and your ilk, kinslayer,” Simon spoke with as much pride as his “The Black Queen will come for your head and every Green who chases for her throne.”

Aemond did not flinch when he gave the man a worthy death, swinging the sword with might that it took his head clean off, thudding softly into the soft mud. Shouts and protests were heard in response, but they were deafened by the sound of Vhagar roaring.

You watched as the resigned Aemond brushed off some blood and its matter from the blade with a harsh flick. You could tell in his eye that it was something he shouldn’t have done, but what he had to do next was the next honourable thing:

His voice was laced with heaviness as he announced to his men, “Bring every boy, squire and baseborn of Strong blood to meet my steel.”

You grabbed Perra by the hand, fleeing back the way you came through, down the vanquished halls that had melted away like a thousand candles. Screams from others were heard around you as you hid, but to no use, the castle was surrounded by not only men but an ancient dragon that could burn it all down.

It felt as if no time had passed at all, before Perra was grabbed and thrown into the arms, screaming for you as she was led out the castle. “Perra!” You, however, found yourself running after her, colliding into the back of a heavily-armed bannerman, decorated in the green sigil of a dragon. 

“No! Unhand me!” You screamed and hissed as you were dragged the opposite way from your friend, away from the sight of freedom and back towards the courtyard.

Aemond was facing his dragon when you came back to meet him up close, and you realise even despite the way he scowled as he looked you up and down, that he was still comely. You were thrown to your knees, your hands bracing your stumble as they were coated in the mud and blood that decorated the yard.

Aemond eyed you scrutinisingly as if assessing what was wrong with you and what he had to do to be rid of you. After all, you did have Strong blood in you, but he didn’t know that.

“Who are you, girl?” He drawled, but his tone was laced with taunting you.

You dared not to meet his dismal stare, instead, watching the blood-soaked and muddied ground or his muddied boots. “Y/N. Y/N Rivers.” You spoke earnestly.

“A bastard,” Criston Cole hissed, momentarily holding his sword’s hilt to draw it, “would you wish for me to bring forth her head, my Prince? Or she could be fed to Vhagar.”

“No,” Aemond dismissed quickly, too quickly. He was staring at her distantly, and it was difficult to see what he was thinking. His seeing eye was bright and staring down at her with disgust and fascination for her and those of House Strong blood. “No, she will not be fed to my dragon. She is much too reliable. Bring her warm clothes, Cole. I will have better use for her.”

“Yes, my Prince.” Cole relaxed as he grabbed you by the back of your arm, dragging you away from the yard, away from the one-eyed monster and his loyal beast. 

You wished for your feet to stop yourself from being dragged away, to accept the headsman’s sword and to have your head beside those you were fostered by.

You looked back in horror, watching as the courtyard grew smaller and smaller, hearing the foreign, unknown words dragonrider spoke to their bonded dragon, the bright flame came from her open jaws, lighting up the pile of corpses you did not stand too close to a second ago.

[acermp100]

Short: Slap Jack

(I THINK that's the name of this card game. Heard like 10 diff names growing up. Anyway...)

Alright, it's writing time! Did a short inspired by amazing @mtndw-whteout age swap, detective AU. Freaking love their manic Teru and Shou and the lil esper Mafia.

TW: Blood, Gore, Violence, Slurs

--------------

King.

Queen.

Three.

Seven.

Four.

Shou reached down to take the mini pile of cards that had formed, shuffling them loosely back into his stack.

“Where’s that Jack?”

Blue eyes flicked from the table to Shou’s hands. He clutched his larger deck in his hands ready to start again.

“Don’t accuse me of some sorta fast finger work.” Smoke trailed form his nostrils, more following as he chewed on the near finished cigarette, exhaling to last bits of tobacco. “I’m not a cheater like you.”

Teru held up a card between two fingers in preparation for his first turn. The inside faced Shou displaying the Ace of Diamonds in gold ink amid the black backdrop with the suit in blood red.  “Perish the thought.” He flicked his wrist and the Ace spun on a corner before landing right side up at the center of the desk between them. “Just wondering is all. My three are so lonely without their friend.”

A flick of the tongue. Shou tossed his card next.

Five.

Queen.

Ten.

Ace.

The room hovered in a dusty shadow more brought on by the ash and smoke than any lack of cleanliness. Leave it to him to find a place like this: right out of an old movie with the taxidermy deer and wolf heads and all. Hand carved mahogany desk with matching wall panels, a mirrored bar in the corner all silver flasks and crystal glass ware. Even managed to get an H laser etched into each. Gold framed the pair of stools at the bar with more of the glinting metal acting as a crown finish for the desk.

Shou abandoned his current cigarette and ignored his next few tosses with his hand bloated with trash as it was. The match hissed before flashing, bringing a glow to his face while leaned back to watch his boss take the meager winnings.

“What yah got? Like 13 left?”

“15. And don’t you worry about me.”

Always that grin. Shou rolled his eyes. They continued countering face cards with face cards, building a growing stack. Teru visibly twitched as each of his prized jacks were foiled by some petty ace or king. He never smoked, at least as far as Shou had noticed.  Didn’t ask either in case he’d be in for some rant about hair and skin health. For a moment a thought slipped into his head: then why did he allow me to right in his office?  Better not dwell on that too much- Shou never enjoyed power dynamics and pointless strutting amid social standings. Better to leave that to someone like his boss.

 The only source of light came from a single, small lamp on the far side of their playing field. Still, it was enough to reflect off the several swords that hung on the wall directly behind. He always through the clash of time periods looked tacky: a board sword above a tanto with some sabers and things he didn’t really recognize. Then again, knives were not really his thing.

Five.

Six.

Six-

Shou reached out but was too slow. He pulled his hand back and took a long draw of his cigarette while he tried to keep count of card patterns in each of their piles. Teru clenched his finger over the meager win and dragged it back to his side.

“Say, what do you think of the northern territory?” Blond hair swished as he idly played along his ear with a free hand. The piercings that led along the cartilage were just as shiny as the blades that hung on the wall.

More uninteresting wins and losses, Teru always keeping his number of cards steady.

“The one against the industrial tracks?

The grin widened. “Yes.”

“Odd choice. There’s those mules that took up residence there years ago.” Shou threw out his card.

Teru followed. “True, they are very attached to that place. Perhaps they need a bit of convincing.”

Nine.

King.

Ace.

Jack.

“Ah, there we go.” He tossed his next in confidence.

King.

Shou let out a sigh. 

Four.

Eight.

Eight-

He was barely fast enough. Flinching, Shou tried to hide his pain as the bottom of several rings dug into the top of his hand right after he has slapped just a moment before his boss. Teru’s fingers were tensed like claws as he released the pressure and gave up his precious prize.  

“Bravo.” He clapped his hands together by his face, sitting back in the large, leather chair. So long it had been in the office that the long dead hide was now stained red. “I concede.”

Shou let out a long exhale as the tension finally began to fade, nursing his new bruises. Smoke rose between the two.

“You want us to take them out?”

Teru remained flush in his chair, going over what was left of his cards one by one until he placed them on desk face up. His smile had faded but the glint in his eyes still betrayed whatever chaotic intentions were still at work under those perfectly manicured blond locks.

“How sweet of you to offer.”

He watched his boss swivel around to the bar, gathering up two glasses and some fancy whisky or whatever. Ice clinked before a deep, dark gold liquid was poured. Booze also wasn’t Shou’s thing. But he was more than happy to accept.

 “But no. Instead sweep up to the tracks on either side. Put a little fear into our wonderful patrons.” Teru bought the glass up to his face but didn’t take a sip, only hovering it before his nose enjoying the scent.  “I’m sick of dealing with the little rats still thinking they have a chance.”

Shou blinked as the liqueur burned down his throat. “But- wait. Those drug runners are savages. All full of guns and greed. Heard they got these three brothers that lead with an iron fist. Good luck getting them all at once. Be like fighting a hydra.”

And there it was again. That grin. Shou always wondered if his boss had naturally sharp canines or had gotten some under the table dentistry work done to appear even more unhinged. Knowing him, probably the latter.

“That will be taken care of momentarily.”

As if on cue a crash echoed through the wall.  Shou sat up as a window was broken followed by gun fire.

“Shit. I left the new guys out there.”

Teru stood as well, calmly reaching over the desk. Shou glared down at the tight grip now on his arm, his leather jacket not stopping the pinch.

“And I sent them away. It’s just us here, how lovely is that?” Teru sat back down, the chair looming behind him, his long blond locks covering the intent of his eyes. He tented his hands in front of him and gave a single nod. “Please be a good boy and invite our guests in, will you?”

Shou took his arm back. After a long pull he abandoned his cigarette in the ashtray and stormed off. Creepy fucker. Good thing I’m on his side.

The armed men stood in the front office. Broken glass and papers were scattered on the floor. The far window lay shattered letting in some of the breeze. They were still digging through drawers and cabinets before Shou walked in, finding himself not even shocked that his boss had somehow got all three brothers together. He didn’t even have a chance to give a sassy quip before they noticed him.

“Fang scum!”

A gun was already shoved into his chest; some semi automatic junk they’d been selling in bulk all over the city. He tried to see if they had any aftermarket modifications he’s be interested in. Nope. How boring. Knives he didn’t give a fuck about, nor fancy wines that cost more than his monthly rent per bottle. But guns- guns he could handle.  Shou didn’t even raise his hands, instead narrowing his blue eyes and exhaling his lung of smoke at the new guests.

“You could at least say hi first.” A sneer as he licked at his front teeth, glancing back down at the guns. “Or maybe you’re compensating for somethin’?

The barrel was shoved into his ribs, yet he still didn’t react only stared back at the resulting scowls.

“Fucker! Don’t be cocky with us.” Hands took him by the shoulders as another set slipped under his open leather jacket. “Ain’t letting some mulleted punk back stab me. Where’s your weapon?”

Shou was giving his own grin now, jaw tense at the throw away comment about his hair. His hands flexed at his sides but kept his cool knowing the fate awaiting these fools.

 “Don’t got one. And don’t need one.”

They finished searching him and shoved him into a corner, guns always threateneing.

“Eh, he’s stupid but honest.”

“Want me to kill him?”

The eldest brother stared into Shou’s eyes only getting a blue, unafraid glare black. “If he’s not gone by the time we leave, I will.”

“Boss will see you now.”

Shou cracked a smirk back as he watched them enter the boss’s office, then stepped forward and closed the door behind them with a purposeful click.

“Have fun.”

The men shuffled inside, eyes trying to adjust to the low light. After a moment they noticed the man at the desk. The youngest stifled a laugh while the older one let out a scoff. Pastel painted nails and a gaudy bright dress shirt and pants against their gruff leather jackets and torn jeans. Teru ‘s expression still remained behind left over ash tray smoke and his long hair, but his confident lips were every visible.

“So, you’re the leader of Fang?”

“The one and only.” Teru opened his arms in an exaggerated gesture. “Welcome! Save a seat. Would you like a drink?”

The three bothers stood fast, exchanging looks.

“Not very talkative, are we? Well that’s alright.” Teru set out three glasses. “I can do all the speaking.”

“What the fuck is this.”

“Is he alone?”

“This faggot’s been giving us trouble?”

Teru grinned at the continued whispering. His back arced and he cracked his neck before rising, slipping around the desk.

“Gentlemen, no need to be so secretive.” Teru reached up with his jewelry adorned fingers and tugged at one of the men’s collars. “We’re all friends here.”

Three guns were pointed straight at his face. Like Shou, Teru didn’t flinch, instead eying the barrels with a bemused smile.

“You’re a bit outmatched to be acting like some puffed up fool.”

A full grin flashed, eyes above the barred teeth wide and eager. “If that is what you think.”

“Why the hell shouldn’t we just kill you right now?

Teru held his arms behind his back. “Oh, please! Don’t you want to hear my proposal?

The men glared, looking at each other before turning back

“Fine. Spit it out.”

“Give up your territory to me. Every last pathetic inch.” He met each of their confused gazes with his own glinting stare. “And I might let you live.”

One of the brothers coked his gun and shoved it into Teru’s face. Not a jerk, not a reaction. Just a smile.

“Cocky little gay boy. You’re done talking!”

The gun wouldn’t fire. One by one, all three of them fussed and pulled at their triggers to result of nothing.

“What the fuck??”

The middle brother had had enough. “Guess we do this the old fashioned way then.”

A knife was drawn. Teru kept his arms behind him as he shifted left, then right, dodging each stab and slice. In the end the man in a miss had shoved the blade into the wall where it remained stuck.

“Oh, tut tut.” Teru leaned right up to his face. “Looks like you need more practice.”

Another brother came in, swinging fists. Teru backed up before bringing on hand up, opened to a palm. The man was forced back in an instant, crashing with a yell into other wall, dazed. That only left the third.

“What- what are you?”

Teru didn’t shift his body, only arced his head at an tilted angle over his shoulder. “Someone who likes to have fun.”

The final brother pulled a spare hand gun and wasted no time. It fired straight, the sound echoing in the small office. But the shot didn’t land. Nor did it miss; instead the bullet hung in the air between them. Now shaking and unable to speak, the man was backing up as he watched the bullet turn and face him instead. Teru’s hand rose in front of his manic grin, fingers utilizing only a fraction of his abilities.

The rest of the gun was unloaded. Each of the bullets hovered in an an natural state, vibrating with the same excitement as the one controlling them. Teru let them hang as the slow realization drew up on the doomed man’s face. With a click of his fingers each round was reflected back at the same speed that had left the barrel, ripping through bone and flesh.  A now battered and bleeding body twitched on the floor. He made sure to miss the heart and brain for a slower, more poetic death.

“No! You fucker!”

The knife user was swinging with fists now in a blind rage. They hit over and over but did nothing, not even push Teru back, as if the blows were beating against sand bags. He flipped his hair, laughing to himself.

“Looks like you forgot this.”

Aura focusing, Teru hovered the man into the air, helpless. The knife jerked out of the wall as if by its own will, hovering by Teru’s shoulder like a little pet ready to obey. Now kicking, the frantic man screamed as his own weapon danced back and forth, slicing with each pass. Blood splattered from arteries to pool under all the writhing and begging. Human sounds devolved into desperate gurgling until the lungs had no more capacity for air.

The last brother was shaking against the wall as he watched the body fall, wide eyes flicking in terror from his dead siblings then finally to Teru.

“I quite like these knives.” Teru was playing with the blade, a butterfly knife with the handle adorned in silver and gold. His fingers skillfully flipped the edge before spinning it over a knuckle then back to his grip. All the while he took slow, purposeful steps towards his next victim. ”Nice and long. Very versatile.” He was now standing at eye level, his gaze leaving the knife to focus on the cowering man. “But I always thought they were a bit too showy.”

The blade was brought up to tap against a nose and cheek, now desperately trying to hold still among the sweat and blood.

“P-please. DOn’t k-k-kill me? I- I-“

Teru interrupted, his voice the same casual, cheery tone as when they started. “You’re the youngest, aren’t you?” He traced a little circle along the man’s face, drawing blood. “Here’s some advice, leader to leader.”

Blue eyes widened. Teru glared ahead as his powers drove the man’s body from wall to ceiling to floor, back and forth, bones cracking and organs rupturing amid flying red that joined the other splatter marks. With every impact, his grin widened until he was laughing, head back and a hand on his chest to steady himself. The fucker was already dead yet he continued to abuse the corpse leaving it an unrecognizable husk in the end. He pocketed the knife.  

“Don’t reject a good offer when first given it.” Teru turned, admiring his handy work. “It could be bad luck”

Shou had busied himself with picking up the papers. He rolled his eyes at the horrified screams, checking his jacket pocket for another cigarette. Lighting it, he put a foot up on the desk and waited, mumbling to himself.

“I better not have to clean this up.”

Whistling could be heard now. Shou was about to enter when the door knob shifted.

“Ah, Shou! Here you are. They each had their own handgun, customized too.” Teru piled the red stained weapons on the desk. “Isn’t that just cute?”

Shou tried to ignore his blood drenched, wild eyed boss and turned his attention to the guns.

“Ugh. Why do they always get the crappy shit?” He took one of the hand guns and inspected it. “Hmm. Probably could do something with these the personal pieces though. Nice.”

“You’re so welcome.”

Teru left a trail of red footprints, heading to the front of the room. With a smile he glanced over his shoulder. Shou couldn’t help but tense.

“Let’s go meet our new employees, shall we? I’m sure they’re lonely without their leaders. “

And with that he waltzed off. Shou exhaled hard through his nose. From the cracked office door he could see the twisted bodies laying limp and disfigured. He flicked his cigarette and the closest.

That’s what you get for insulting my hair.

[cursed-herbalist]

𝓢𝓲𝓵𝓪𝓼 𝓐𝓼𝓱𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓭

Ravenclaw • Half-blood • British • Virgo • ISFJ • Charms and Transfiguration Ace • Tinkerer • Emotional Support Werewolf with A Comeback For Every Situation

Pinterest | Spotify

A/N: Silas is open for friends and rivals! So if you’re interested in discussing a plot, hmu!

—

Name: Silas Ashford

Meaning: Silas - Greek/Latin origin meaning woods or forest (it's a version of the name Sylvanus which is the roman god of the countryside); Ashford is a habitational surname and might indicate someone is from Ashford or is/was living by some kind of ash tree ford

Nicknames: tbd

Birthdate: 16th September 2005 (3:19PM)

Zodiac Sign: Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon, Saggitarius Rising

Personality Type (MBTI): ISFJ - The Denfender

Sexuality: Bi, until proven otherwise

Gender Identity: Wizard (he/him)

Blood-Status: Half-blood

Nationality: British

Residence: Castle Combe, England

Hometown: Castle Combe, England

Languages: English

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Jay Lycurgo

Hair: Black, curly

Eyes: brown

Height: 178cm

Weight: 65kg

Body Type: average

Skin Tone: warm caramel

Distinguishing Marks (scars, birthmarks, etc.): tbd

Voice Claim: Jay Lycurgo

What do they carry on them?: random tools, wand, school stuff, wolfsbane potion, anything else you might need

Backstory

Silas grew up in a small, foresty wizarding town near Castle Combe. His childhood was happy and relatively uneventful until the end of his third year at Hogwarts, the summer break to be exact. A few months prior his sister had found herself in the midst of a werewolf attack, unfortunately, ending with her being bitten. Scared of the wizarding communities reaction, his parents tried their hardest to keep this new circumstance a secret, even from their son. Though, during a stormy night, when Silas heard a loud thud echoing through the house, he decided to investigate a little further. Ignoring his parent's warnings, not to go to his sister's room, he broke through the locked door, and, to his surprise, found a fully transformed werewolf, just itching to escape. That night he had suffered the same fate as his sister and would continue to suffer it every full moon.

More loading …

Family

Father: Lyall Ashford - Lyall is, generally, very loving, soft-spoken and relaxed. To this day he still has no clue how to deal with his werewolf kids and would rather keep it a well-kept family secret ... more so because of his wife rather than believing it to be a ‘bad’ thing himself. He only has everyone's best interest in mind and has spent more than a couple nights, hitting the books in search of a cure yet to no avail. Lyall is a Hit Wizard and therefore a member of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad (he might be a higher-ranking officer, idk. How is the squad organised? XD). Silas and he share their love for tinkering and often spend hours in his workshop behind their house.

Fc: Isaiah Mustafa

Mother: Miranda 'Mira' Ashford née Greengrass - Miranda is a very well-read and determined witch. Starting as a member of the Invisibility Task Force (she used to be a magical architect, specialising in hidden infrastructure), she quickly climbed up the ladder at the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes and now finds herself second to the Head of the Department, leading the Task Force. As she had a little falling out with her pureblood family for marrying below her status, she tries to keep further disappointment to a minimum. With lycanthropy still being believed to tarnish a wizard's reputation, she does everything in her power to keep the tea about her children from spilling and, of course, keep her kids safe from the Werewolf Capture Division.

Fc: Dakota Johnson (as of now, might change)

Little Sister: Eira Ashford (born in 2009) - Eira is a brisk yet quiet girl. Unlike her older brother she embraces her inner wolf, thinking it to be cool after reading, maybe a bit too much, muggle werewolf fiction. Though, she still feels guilty for turning her brother. Her biggest wish is to become a badass Auror. She spends day and night practising Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Fc: Ella Balinska (might also change)

Magic

House: Ravenclaw

Best Class: Charms, Transfiguration

Worst Class: Divination

Quidditch: -

Clubs: -

Wand: Ash Wood, Phoenix Feather Core, 13 1/2” Length, Rigid Flexibility

➔ The ash wand cleaves to its one true master and ought not to be passed on or gifted from the original owner, because it will lose power and skill. This tendency is extreme if the core is of unicorn. Old superstitions regarding wands rarely bear close examination, but I find that the old rhyme regarding rowan, chestnut, ash and hazel wands (rowan gossips, chestnut drones, ash is stubborn, hazel moans) contains a small nugget of truth. Those witches and wizards best suited to ash wands are not, in my experience, lightly swayed from their beliefs or purposes. However, the brash or over-confident witch or wizard, who often insists on trying wands of this prestigious wood, will be disappointed by its effects. The ideal owner may be stubborn, and will certainly be courageous, but never crass or arrogant.

Animagus: Werewolf?

Boggart: a torn-up, bloody corpse (hurting someone whilst being a werewolf)

Riddikulus: corpse turns into a dancing sour patch kid

Patronus: White Wolf

Patronus Memory: tinkering with his dad in his little shed behind the house

Amortentia (what he smells like): evergreen forests, metal, new books, maple syrup, a hint of leather

Amortentia (what he smells): tbd

Magical Abilities: -

Career

11–17: Student at Hogwarts 18–24: Studies Engineering at a Muggle University 24-?: Artificer (Magical Engineer; Magical Artefacts Maker/Conservator)

Personality & Attitude

Personality: Although, generally, a very understated guy, Silas often finds himself in trouble but more so because of his own overbearing curiosity rather than for the sake of mischief. He likes to ponder ideas and come up with new things and gadgets and is known for his witty comebacks and remarks, that more than once, have caused him a round of detention. Even with a loose tongue like his, he is very loyal and would drop everything to lend a hand whenever a friend or family member (or basically anyone) is going through a hard time or is in need of help. For an introvert, he's oddly social.

Moderator: ‘Why don’t we go 'round introducing ourselves?’

Silas: ‘Hi, my name is Silas, spelled as it's spoken. *chuckles* I’m just kidding, guys. Anyway, I’m a tinkerer. And a fun fact about myself is that I love anything mysterious.’

Strengths: supportive, courageous, curious, quick-witted, funny, efficient, hardworking, loyal, thoughtful

Weaknesses: stubborn, perfectionist, overly humble

Stressors: full moons, keeping his secret, his own too-high standards

Comfort: reading, tinkering/crafting, forests, quiet, the chirping of birds, yoga/meditation

Priorities: keeping his secret, being helpful

Favourites

Colours: doesn't have one

Food: berries (preferably, freshly picked from the forest), Mexican food, sour patch kids

Drink: coffee (just keeps him going)

Flowers: Elderflower

Music: basically anything; likes to listen to low-fi music while studying (helps him concentrate)

Books: anything involving magical myths or craftsmanship

Weather: rainy days

Hobbies: tinkering/crafting, reading, yoga/meditation, sketching, discussing new ideas, mystical creatures

Style: laidback, neutral/cool forest-y colour palette

Relationships

Significant Other/Best friend: Oscar 'Brandy' Crouch, future Ashford @potionboy3 - Brandy and Silas have been best friends and roommates since day one of Hogwarts—that is until he gets bitten in his third year. To keep his hairy little secret, Silas is removed from the dorm and gets his own room. He decides it to be best to keep it from Brandy, scared of his reaction. Without them even realizing things start to take a romantic turn which frightens Silas and prompts him to withdraw from Brandy, leaving him wondering for quite a bit. Brandy, in the end, does discover that his best friend is a werewolf and, frankly, doesn't mind at all. Thus, the two become a couple after an eventful full moon.

Friends: tbd

Open for friendship requests :)

MISC & HCs:

almost always has grease on his hands, clothes or in his face

has dubbed Brandy and him #sily; no take-backs

slipped Brandy a book of ancient myths about werewolves’s in hopes that he’d take the hint but Brandy was still oblivious xD

likes to do yoga or meditate before going to bed or in the mornings, depending on when he has time

playing ‘The Werewolves of Millers Hollow’ makes him oddly nervous 😬

has his own dorm room (thanks whoever-is-headmaster-at-that-time 😘)

100% a hugger

somehow always prepared … for legit any situation you could imagine. Need tweezers? He has ‘em. Hand cream? Ask him. You’re cold? Here, take his sweater. A spare DADA school book? Idk why he’d carry that around but he’s got you covered!

[astra-galaxie]

"C'est part of mon charm, Lizzy!" - Rosarie d'Entremont

Biographical information

Full Name: Rosaire d'Entremont

Alias(es):

Rose (nickname)

Rosie (nickname)

Rosaire d'Entremont-Ripley (former married name)

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Asexual and Aromantic

Status: Alive

Age: 62 (season 3)

Birth: 1953

Race: Human

Nationality: Canadian

Origin: Nova Scotia, Canada

Residence:

Sydney, Australia

Nova Scotia, Canada (formerly)

Profession(s):

U.N.I.T Agent

Historian

Past profession(s): High school history teacher

Family:

Elizabeth Ripley (ex-wife)

Unnamed mother (deceased)

Unnamed father (deceased)

Unnamed sisters

Unnamed brothers

Unnamed mother-in-law

Unnamed father-in-law

Affiliation(s):

U.N.I.T

The Bureau (formerly)

Profile

Height: 5'10" Age: 62 (season 3) Weight: 156lbs Eyes: blue Blood: AB+

Hailing from Atlantic Canada, Rosarie is the husband of Elizabeth Ripley. He is fair-skinned with navy blue eyes, short gray hair he keeps neatly combed, and his bangs are dyed a deep red. He has a bit of stubble on his jaw and dark brown glasses.

Rosarie wears a light brown shirt with a black vest, a red bow tie, and a Nova Scotia tartan-patterned pocket square. His shirt and vest are tucked into a pair of dark gray pants held up by a dark brown belt, and he has black sneakers on his feet. His pocket watch is attached to and kept in the right front pocket of his vest above his hip.

Per his suspect appearance in United in Ashes, it is known that Rosarie is a musician (he plays the violin).

History

Rosarie grew up in a rural town in Nova Scotia. He is the youngest of six siblings, with three older sisters and two older brothers. By age 30, he had lost both his parents; his mother had died of a heart attack, and his father had passed away after a battle against cancer. There is an eighteen-year age gap between him and his oldest sibling, so Rosaire fears he will begin burying his siblings soon.

Rosarie attended university, where he attained a bachelor's in history and a teaching degree. He quickly earned a position at his old high school teaching history and geography while working towards getting his master's in world history. But he always felt like there was more for him to do than teach high schoolers. And one day, fate revealed its plans for him.

Rosarie had gone on a trip to India to visit historical sites, where he met Kavi Pandit. The older man overheard him rambling to himself about the history of the Taj Mahal and was impressed by Rosarie's knowledge. Kavi tested the man's knowledge about other world history and quickly realized that the Canadian would be a fantastic asset to U.N.I.T. and offered Rosarie a job.

Rosarie couldn't believe what was happening but accepted the offer immediately. Kavi helped him transition to working for U.N.I.T, and Rosarie worked his way up to being the head historian for the agency.

While he rarely went on missions because of his position, Rosarie occasionally accompanied agents on their missions and sometimes performed solo missions. During his rare solo missions, he met Elizabeth Ripley.

The missions were a collaboration with the CIA, and they were tasked with investigating a global human trafficking ring. Rosarie and Elizabeth were stationed in Las Vegas as it was the USA location where the organization captured people. It took them months to infiltrate and take down the criminals running the operation, but their hard work paid off, and they freed dozens of young men and women.

Rosarie and Elizabeth had grown close while working together, but not in a romantic way. They did have to pretend to be a couple so they could stay close while undercover, but they respected each other's boundaries.

But they didn't mean they were immune to getting drunk together and making horrible decisions.

After taking down the human trafficking ring, Rosarie and Elizabeth celebrated in the Las Vegas strip. They drank a lot of alcohol and got very intoxicated. As they continued down the strip celebrating their victory, they came across a walk-in wedding chapel.

Rosarie jokingly suggested that they get married to commemorate such a successful day. But since Elizabeth was heavily drunk, she took the suggestion seriously. Being in no better of a state, it didn't take much to convince Rosarie to walk into the chapel and say, "I do."

The following day they woke up with killer hangovers and a signed marriage certificate.

After the initial freakout (and some coffee), Rosarie and Elizabeth sat down to discuss what they would do. At first, they planned to get the marriage annulled, but then Elizabeth suggested that there might be more benefits from this drunken mistake than they realized.

For starters, it would get Elizabeth's parents off her back. The couple had been pushing their daughter to marry for years and always tried to set her up with potential husbands. Secondly, it would give them both a trusted next of kin who knew the truth about the danger of their jobs. There are also tax benefits, but that was a later realization.

And so, they remained married and have been together for over thirty years. Who says marriage doesn't last?

Even if they call it a marriage of convenience to avoid telling people the embarrassing truth…

The couple maintains a long-distance relationship and have regular get-togethers, sometimes just the two of them and other times with their families.

Rosarie supported Elizabeth when she announced she was forming the Bureau. He advocated for the alliance between U.N.I.T and the Bureau and is the liaison between the agencies.

When Rosarie turned fifty, he moved to Sydney, Australia, to be closer to U.N.I.T headquarters. He took a cover job at the Australian Museum as an archivist and tour guide. It was during a tour for a local elementary school that he met Lauren Bailey.

He was impressed by the child's interest and knowledge of Australian history and her desire to learn more about the world's past. The two spent most of the tour talking, so much so that another tour guide had to take over the school's tour while they had a mini private tour.

Lauren and her fathers soon became regular visitors to the museum, with Rosarie giving them private tours when he was available. As Lauren got older, her fathers asked Rosarie if he would consider mentoring their daughter. Rosarie happily agreed and began privately teaching Lauren about world history.

Rosarie is proud of how far Lauren has come with her passion for history, even as her interests have broadened as she gets old. But no matter how many years go by, he will never forget the day he met a little girl whose eyes lit up listening to him ramble about the history of Australia.

Events of Criminal Case

Season 3

The team learned about Rosarie's existence after finding his pocket watch at a crime scene. There was no serial number on it, meaning Elliot couldn't track the owner, so Ripley informed the team that she had gifted the pocket watch to her husband. The team was shocked at the announcement, but interrogating their boss about her secret husband would have to wait until they finished their investigation.

Rosaire then made his first physical appearance after Carmen and Jack questioned him about his boss's murder. He explained that he and his assistant (Lauren) were visiting Melbourne for business for the Australian Museum in Sydney. He was shocked to hear that his boss had been murdered but couldn't think of why Nicolas was in Melbourne or who could have killed him.

The Historian was questioned a second time after Carmen and Jack found a recording of Rosarie threatening the victim to stop trying to recruit the Bureau for U.N.I.T. Rosarie revealed that Nicolas wanted the Bureau to become a sub-agency for U.N.I.T, but Rosarie disagreed and advocated for his wife's agency to remain independent. Ultimately, the real killer was arrested, and Rosarie was proven innocent.

During the additional investigation, Rosarie asked the team for assistance to find out why Lauren was suddenly acting weird. Dupont and Jack helped him find the girl's notebook and, after getting Marina to analyze it, discovered that Lauren had a crush on Elliot Clayton. Rosarie might not be a man of love, but he could see how important it was for Lauren to confess her feelings, so he supported her when she went to talk to Elliot.

After that, Rosarie and Elizabeth were reconnecting when they got the alarm that the Bureau and their families were being threatened. He helped protect the plane and the families while the younger agents dealt with the threat against them. Afterward, he stayed by Elizabeth's side while they waited for news on her pilot's condition.

Once the Bureau was ready to leave, Rosarie offered to assist them in any way he could to help take SOMBRA down. He promised to make himself available night and day for his historical expertise. He also told Elizabeth that if she needed him, he would get on the first available plane to wherever the team was to join them. Lauren made the same promises, and the two consultants put together some to-go bags when they got to their homes in Sydney in case of emergencies.

And they would answer that call when Chief Ripley requested their help with the Burea's investigation in Concordia. Rosarie and Lauren were coincidentally already in the city for other work, so stepping into Dupont's role was no issue while the historian was serving as Anders's partner. Rosarie acted as the temporary historian for the Bureau with Lauren's assistance, and the pair analyzed the clues Anders and Dupont brought them. Rosarie enjoyed diving back into the history of Concordia and getting to help his wife and her team in the process.

When the case was solved, Rosarie and Lauren went their separate ways from the Bureau again. But Rosarie kept up to date with his wife about the Bureau's progress in catching SOMBRA. Until one day, Ripley stopped answering his calls, and his messages went unread. Worried about his wife's safety, Rosarie contacted Ingrid, who informed him about Ripley's secret connection to SOMBRA and that his wife had left the Bureau and no one knew where she was. Rosarie was heartbroken not only by the betrayal of his wife against himself and the Bureau but also because she left him without even saying goodbye.

Rosarie was devastated by the loss of his wife. Even if their love wasn't romantic, he still cared about Ripley and thought she cared about him, too. But, Rosarie guesses that weren't the case anymore as one day he woke up to find a letter from Ripley and her wedding ring on his bedside table. She must have snuck into his home during the night and left the items for him to find in the morning. In the letter, Ripley told him how sorry she was for lying to him about SOMBRA's origins and her involvement in creating the organization. She said it was unfair to him to be associated with her as her husband and that he would find the divorce papers with the letter. All Rosarie needed to do was sign them, and their marriage would be over.

At first, Rosarie didn't know what to think. So much had happened in just a short span of time, from Ripley disappearing, SOMBRA being defeated and then Dupont's death that he needed time to process it all. Once he had, Rosarie realized that Ripley was right; their marriage could not survive the betrayal, and he needed to let her go. So, Rosarie signed the divorce papers and dropped the Ripley name, going back to just a d'Entremont. Maybe one day, Ripley will come out of her self-imposed exile, and they can talk face to face, but until then, Rosarie will continue their mission to make the world a better place, even with Ripley no longer at his side.

Organization(s)

The Bureau (disbanded)

Rank: History Consultant

U.N.I.T.

Rank:

Agent

Historian

Story Information

First appeared: United in Ashes

Trivia

Chief Ripley referenced her husband in Blackout Dead. When talking to Kavi Pandit with Adalet and Fili, she mentioned having a connection inside of U.N.I.T who turns out to be Rosarie

He is the only person who can get away with calling Chief Ripley "Liz" or "Lizzy." Likewise, she can get away with calling him "Rose" or "Rosie"

Lauran can also get away with calling him "Rose" and "Rosie"

He's autistic

He hyper-fixates on history, but the topic of interest alternates. Some days he's fascinated by French history, and the next, it could be Indigenous Canada

His pocket watch actually doesn't work; the mechanism is fake so that he can play with the hands and crown when he needs to stim

He enjoys sea shanties and folk songs; his favourite is Farewell to Nova Scotia. You can hear him humming the tune when he's working or relaxing

He's Acadian

He speaks a regional dialogue of Acadian French used in his hometown. This means for him, he'll talk half in English and half in French regardless if the grammar works or not

Ripley and Lauren struggle to follow along when he rambles in his Acadian French. So far, Dupont is the only person who's been able to keep up with the other Historian's mixed languages

He and Chief Ripley do have wedding rings; they don't wear them unless they need to play a married couple. Rosarie keeps his hooked to his pocket watch, and Ripley has hers on a second necklace hidden under her shirt

Even though Chief Ripley didn't take his surname, Rosarie hyphenated his because he wanted to break tradition

Plus, it gave him a new legal alias to use

He is a long-time friend of Armand Dupont and recommended the Swiss Historian for his wife's team

Disclaimer: Character design was created using Rinmarugames Mega Anime Avatar Creator! I have only made minor edits to the design! Background courtesy of CriminalArtist5

Links to my stories:

The Case of the Criminal (Ao3/Wattpad) Killer Bay (Ao3/Wattpad) Where in the World are the Killers? (Ao3/Wattpad)

[wasteland-soul-project]

Here's an insano list that will be continually updated so I have an online record of all that Im currently receptive to include. Consider this spoilers actually.

Greens got a spot on the timeline finalized.

White is sorted by era for workload

Agar.io, Saurian,Ancestors,Far Cry,Civ,History channel,The sumerian game,Hammurabi,Ass cred,Ryse son of rome,Ghost of Tsushima,evil dead,Kingdom come deliverance,western gun,Turok,Oregon trail,Samurai western,Call of Juarez,Red Dead Revolver,GUN,This land is my land,Bioshock Infinite,Valiant Hearts,Call of cthulhu,Sea wolf,Battlefield,Mafia, front line, endless war, the saboteur,Medal of honor,Call of Dutygenesisnoir,Capcom 1942,Commando,Castle wolfenstein?The incredibles,Cathode ray tube amusemen device,La Noire remember da whorient,Bertie the Brain,Nimrod,Destroy All humans,Christophers draughts,Fonzie road race,Atomic Heart,Tennis for two, gta,Spy hunter ,Spacewar!, xcom, metal gear, resident evil, 1967 world series, team fortress, afterburner, galaxy game, computer space, pong, silent hill, night driver, elevator action, E.T, space ace, uncharted, firewatch, jalopy, contra, gone home, portal, postal, prey, max Payne, illbleed, blood, FEAR, venture bros, manhunt, dead island, dead rising, kane and lynch , bully, cherry 2000, hell comes to frog town, burt reynolds flick, socom, saints row, mercenaries, half life,Alpha protocol,Outlast,Life is strange,Payday,Sleeping Dogs,Lollipop Chainsaw,Duck dynasty, hatred, tomb raider, Evil within,Dying light, edith finch, control, trad meme, alaskan road trucker, tume pilot, disco elysium, octodad, tacoma,Van Buren Tech Demo,Five lesbians eating quiche, thag cute radioactive couple,Fallout: Zero,System Shock,One man and a crate of puppets,Fallout: Frost,Wasteland,Fallout nevada,Atom RPG,Metro,Soma,Ashes twentysixty three,Fountain of Dreams ,Organ Trail,Employee of the month,Fallout 1.5 Resurrection,Squidward suicide,Stray,Horizon,Fallout Yesterday,Jazzpunk,xcom classic, breaking badFallout New Califnornia,Mad Max,Hwarts of Iron OWB, soace station 13,Storyteller,Fallout Lanius,Fallout nuka breakFallout 4 miami,All roads,Death Stranding,Morrowind,Outer Worlds

Fallout minecraft map,Fallout:Dust

Post war:Spongebob, 60 seconds, the story must be told, fallout revelation, starcraft, space quest, dead space, broken roads, breath of death, star heroine

Prewar: 2050+, idealized-era retroscifi jetsons, overwatch, series of unfortunate events, deathloop, f zero x, afro samurai, thief reboot

Prewar 2025-50, dystopia class struggle sci fi deus ex, cyberpunk, mirrors edge, cruelty squad, final fantasy

Pre war (big mess of speculative future) home front,dishonored, naissancE, space station 13, crackdown, timesplitters, kentucky route zero, red faction, dreambreak, attack of the saucermen, metal slug

My lived yearss that one 4chan comic in france, plants vs zombies ,the boys, slender, sniper assassin, stalker, hitman, the quarry, pandemic 2, black watchmen, alien hominid, police quest, tony hawk, ape out, ace attorney, the beginners guide, arma, aemy of teo , chimamande adichi, crysis, just cause, just dance, prototype, skate, various sports, dangenrampa, true crime, post void, burger tycoon, dino crisis, the cat lady downfall devil went through here lorelei, science adventure, goldsrc counter strike, detectives united, deadly premonition, freedom fighters, eternal darkness, unboxing, that unity game abt the painting, subnautica, perfect dark, famicon wars, the darkness, captain underpants

1900s fnaf, calvin and hobbes, papers please, mother, zaxxon, heros journey, stalin vs martians, x files, tom clancy, spec ops, gorillaz, the sims, GI Joe, leisure suit larry, pathologic, cold war game, hammer and sickle, jurassic park, evil dead, james bond Tropico, sims city, ikari warriors, spy hunter, time crisis, alone in the dark, syphon filter, gabriek knight, arma cold war, chinua achebe, camara laye, persona, shenmu, yakuza, brothers in arms, company of heroes, punchout, operation flashpoint, professor layton, sniper ghost warrior, sniper elite, undying, stanley parable, hotline miam, war in the east, wings of orey, men of war, 9th company, red orchestra, iron front, death to spies, mother russia bleeds, roller coaster tycoon, counterspy, esrls day off , gaiden, shin megami, suda 57, fatal frame, gorogoa, hotel room dusk

1800s thief, amnesia, samurai champloo, jojo, dark pictures anthology, wadjet games multiverse, bloodborne

1500s sekiro

1400s Europa Universalis

1300s Demons souls classic

1100s lionheart

1000s crusader kings, chrono trigger

800s prince of persia

200 silk

100 romanc eof the three kingdoms, dynasty warriors

Ancient 0ad, pharoah, the scorpion king, sphynx and the cursed mummy, age if mythology, noahs ark, empire esrth, rise of nations, total war, tak and the power of juju, hades

Cavepeople: dawn of man, jawa mammoth, age of empires, tork, tail of the sun, echo secrets of the lost cavern,roots of patcha

Old af: jurassic the hunted, nanosaur, a prehistoric tale, id software timeline, AVP TIMELINE OLD AF, evo, evolution games of itnelligent ligr, lynn margulis, civ dinosaur war like cthulhu mythos, robert howard books, cthukhu saves

[stellabarak]

🐱🫶🏻Glazing course with Simeon Featherstone at Rochester Square Arts, May 15th & May 22nd 2023 🪴

In May I took my first ever introduction to the chemistry and science behind what is the make-up of glazes for ceramics! This is something I have been fascinated with for a while, after trying and trialling many ready-made glazes that I have at my disposal at Sunken Studios, as well as brush ons, that I have bought online.

Having recently been awarded an ACE funding for Developing Your Creative Practice, i thought it was time now to look in more depth into how I can create my own glazes.

A large part of my funding will go toward a residency at Rochester Square Arts, in London a magical place in Camden. Prior to its use as a ceramics making place, it used to be a former nursery for palm trees used in film and TV industry, then became a squat during the mid noughties. You can imagine when the founders told me that they have a short glazing course that I could book myself in for 😀.

Glazing with Simeon Featherstone was a two-day course that took place on Mondays in May. This meant very early starts on the train to London from Leeds, for the day-trip.

On Day 1 Monday 15th May, the sun came out and it was a gorgeous day introduced to the alchemy of silica, fluxes and alumina.

We talked about the fundamentals of a glaze, how the powders work inside the kiln in ridiculously high temperatures to interact and thermo-expand with the clay. It is alumina that assists in sticking the glazes to the body of the clay or tile, whereas silica (Quarts or Flint) is the glass forma. I kind of thought this was responsible for sticking the elements together, but apparently, silica doesn't melt. It is the combination of the primary or secondary flux (potassium, sodium, lead, boron) that is the "activator" changing in high temperatures and causing the melt.

After the intro, it was straight into it. We chose some recipes from books and Simeon demonstrated how to create the powder mixes. After lunch, I got my P2 disposable mask on, and away we go! We were a nice group of 8 working in pairs, so it was fun but quite messy overall!

We tried mixing a classic Bernard Leach recipe:

Potash Feldspar 40

Silica 30

Whiting 20

China Clay 10

on to which we later added different elements to vary it,

like 10% Bone Ash, 1,5% Silica Carbide and 0.2% chrome.

I believe this creates volcanic effects on the result!

We had two different types of clay for the test tiles, including porcelain.

It was a very intense first deep-dive into it all.

Day 2, 22nd May: we got to see our results from the test tiles! Unfortunately due to the ever-so precise and on-time trains from Leeds to London (not) I was delayed. I missed the first part of the chat or feed-back. But I got straight into mixing.

It was all about creating lines of glazes, with one base and adding. This is the Triaxial Blend, and this is how you can test up to three different base glazes to test colour, opacity, fluidity and others.

How did it go? Fine but don't ask! It is mind boggling trying to compute in my head the variations and increments!! I am not naturally good at numbers or math. Luckily I wasn't on my own.

Overall, it was a great introduction to the basics of glazing. I also now kind of have an idea as to why my glazes look very glossy. This is something I would like to fix. The recipes we tried have given me a great starting point to continue experimenting, when I do start my residency in August. In the meantime, I look forward to seeing our results soon with the group.

[zstargalaxy]

May I request a Suicune/Entei/Raikou!MC and them telling their story of how they were rejuvenated by Ho-Oh?

TWISTED WONDERLAND X POKEMON

TWST react to the legend of Ho-Oh {Suicune/Entei/Raikou MC}

"Long ago, during the time of constant warring, there were two towers that the people of Ecruteak city had built,The Bell tower and the Brass tower"

"The Bell tower is where Ho-Oh, guardian of the skies, reside"

The said pokemon soared through the skies with its colorful wings spread wide up in the sky.

"While Lugia, guardian of the seas, rested upon the Brass tower"

"These two towers attracted the two legendary pokemon, where it had became a place where people can commune with these pokemon and where peace can be bring among both species of human and gijinka. They worhiped while also admiring, loving and acquisitivly furnishing these two towers"

"Until-"

*BOOM!*

"Aaaah!"

You blinked at your friend's reaction upon hearing the sound of thunder from outside the Ramshackle dorm.

Some had jumped and let out a scream, while others had taken shalter under their pillows and blankets or anyone beside them upon hearing the roar of thunder.

"Tch" Leona look at everyone in the living room with a glare in he's eyes "its just thunder".

"Ahem" Sebek coughed as he compose himself from embarrassingly jumping onto Silver whem the lighting struck "Of course I know! I was just unaware of the storm approaching outside!"

Leona rolled he's eyes as everyone else quickly composed themselves aswell from the jump they had.

You see, today is your anniversary of being in Twisted Wonderland for atleast a year and some of your friends thought of giving you a suprise. With the storm outside reminding you how you came to be, you thought of giving them the story of how you amd your fellow trio members were came back to life.

Your status, species and where you had come from had intrigued every one of your friends when you had told them the truth. They all wouldn't have inagine, yet cant help but agreed, that you are one of the legendary ones in your home world.

The first ones to have discovered was the Adeuce and Grim.

Though, Malleus was the first one to have indirectly guess that you are of someone with great piwer without you sayibg anythibg upon first meeging eachother.

"Apologies for the sudden spook (Suicune/Entei/Raikou)" Vil apologize on everyone's behalf "You may continue".

"Yeah!" Grim shouted with a can of tuna in hand "Continue the story?!When did you came back to life anyway?! Just go to that part already!"

You rolled your eyes at Grim's usual unpatient behavior "In due time, Grim. In due time" the monster only huffed yet didnt say anyfurter as you resume your story telling.

"Where was I? Oh yes..."

"Until a lightning had struck the Bell tower on one faithful night. The lightning had cause a great fire, a fire so great that it had engulfed the whole tructure in a mighty inferno"

"Oh how terrible!" Rook exclaim grimly "What an awful scenario to have happen to such beautiful architecture. Being englufed by a powerful fire..."

"But not as great as mine" Grim boasted.

"Not now Grim" You, Ace and Deuce said to the cat monster.

"But still" Ace turn towards you "Where did you fit into this? You did say that you were resurrected during that flame, were you saving someone there?"

You shook your head solemly at that guess, remmebering the heat and burning touch of the flames that had grazed your skin during that time "No...no one had came to save us".

"Save us?" Epel questioned until it had hit him and slowly, everyone else followed on what that statement you had said have been implied to.

"Wait, you mean..." a nod was all they need to know that what they had thought.

"Yes" you nodded.

"During the burning, me and the other two of our trio were traped at the raging flames. We have no way out so...we perished among the burning wood and ashes of the bell tower"

"(Suicune/Entei/Raikou)..." Kalim didnt know what else to say, to hear that such a tragic end that he's friend had gone through "Oh (Suicune/Entei/Raikou)!"

"Oof!"

"Kalim!"

Jamil shouted upon the sudden action of the young heir hugging you out of no where with tears in he's eyes "Get off of them!"

Everyone sweatdropped at the scene.

"Were sorry that we had asked!" Kalim aplogize rather loudly as Jamil pulled him off of you " We should have known!"

You wave it off "No need to worry, Kalim. I quite use to it to be honest" It was kinda true.

You sometimes watch in disguse of various plays around Johto about the tale of Ho-Oh from long ago. Though it may be long ago that you have been given a second chance, that faithful night is always engrave to your mind during some days and nights upon remembering how you had once suddenly perished.

"But still, (Suicune/Entei/Raikou)" Malleus had spoke "That mustve been quite a horrible experience to remember by".

"It is" you agreed sadly at the

"I didnt know exactly what had happened next but I do know that soon after, a great rain had poured down onto the raging flames of the bell tower, eventually extinguishing the fire. We were already dead when the fire had died down but Ho-Oh, out of saddness and disgrace, had descended down amidst the destruction and had bestow life upon us once again. We have became the representation of the lightning that had struck, the flame that engulfed and the rain that extinguished"

"Ho-Oh is sure is a strong beast" commented Jade "To have the magic to resurrect life...that is quite impressive"

"Indeed" Malleus agreed, very well aware that giving life back to the dead is quite a hard feat to do and not very easy that not even he can do with he's current magic.

"Fufufu~ it seems there is more to you than we think, Prefect" chuckled the vice prefect of Diasomnie.

"Yes" Vil nodded "you power is certainly quite strong, even strong enough to rival Malleus" and that was saying something "yet also agreeable of what you meant by some people thinking that Ho-Oh is nothing more than a myth"

"But here I am" you proudly stated with your head held high and back positioned to give you a rather powerful look at how you had become now "And Ho-Oh does exists...waiting for me and my fellow comrades to see that humans, pokemon and gijinkas leave in corporation and harmony for it to return"

"Do you think that will ever happen soon?" Jack asked out of curiosity.

"..."

You arent so sure to be honest. Your job was to watch and observe the activities among the species of your world to see if cooperation had come between them all, yet through those long years, you never wished or even hoping of when that will come.

The minute you and your friends have been revived, many of the citizens quickly had thrown rocks at you, holding sticks and have writtened despise on their facial expressions that it was the cause of your wariness among humans and even gijinkas.

But you knew better that there others like some children arent spiteful.

All you knew was to wait for the time has come.

"Time will tell, Jack Howl, Time will tell" you calmly reply "After all, Ho-Oh revives us for a reason and we will serve that reason until it is complete".

"Such admirable devotion, (Suicune/Entei/Raikou)!" Sebek shouted " I highly respect you of your loyal to the one who had graciously saved you!!"

"Hush, Sebek" the said guard in training quickly quiet himself when you immediately said that.

After all, he didnt want to have the same consequence like last time.

Especielly from a Legendery Pokemon like you.

[dfdph]

Daffodil 

Author D.

Pairing Jungkook / Reader (female)

Genre Med AU | Romance | Angst | Fluff

Warning Mentions of cheating

Word count 21k

Summary  “I can’t explain what I’m feeling, Ash.” Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “It’s totally stupid, I know. Completely foolish. Definitely useless. I’m with the most perfect guy, literally the most perfect guy in the whole world. He’s sweet, smart, funny and attentive. He makes me feel loved, he makes sure I don’t need for anything. He’s the perfect man to build a family and grew old with. I know I love him, I never doubted it, not even once. But when I’m with him ... I feel this thing. It’s like a pull, yes, like there’s a magnet between us. He just does something to me, he messes with my head. And I’ve been trying to fight it but it’s so ... I swear if I wasn’t with someone else I would have already jumped him. Oh my god, what did I just say! Oh my God. This is so stupid. I’m a terrible person. This is our secret, okay? Promise me to not tell Namjoon! Shit, never tell my brother either!”

Disclaimer English is not my first language and I might be a little out of practice.

A/N This is a continuation of Snapdragon, it is strongly recommended to read it first! I made good use of my Grey’s Anatomy knowledge. This is yet to be proof read. To be edited.

Freesia (drabble)

©️ dfdph, 2021 - all rights reserved. Reposting or translating onto other sites is NOT allowed.

Part 1

     Mar. - June

     The cup of coffee had run cold in her hands, untouched. She had been staring at it for quite a while now, lost in her chaotic thoughts, trying unsuccessfully to calm down her breathing. She was well aware of the fact that her hands had never sweat that much in her life and that her lower lip was a another bite away from bleeding. 

     Y/N had never been this anxious before, not even the day she waited for the acceptance notice from her Med School of choice. Maybe that was it. Choice. She didn’t have any this time. Her future was in the hands of an algorithm. 

     She had spent last night tossing around in her bed, thinking. The fact that she couldn’t control in any way the results of the Match drove her crazy. Yes, she did submit a rank list and yes, she did aced both her Medical Licensing Examinations and yes, she was top of the class of one of the best Medical programs of the country. But this time she was not sure that was going to be enough. 

     Residency programs were highly competitive, especially those of general surgery. The best teaching hospitals only took a bunch of interns every year and obviously everyone wanted to get in their first choice. Unfortunately, that wasn’t always the case. Once the algorithm had decided your destination, that was it, there was no changing it. You could either accept it or take a year off and try again.  

     The uncertainty scared Y/N to no end. Since she was a teenager she had had her future planned perfectly. It was a detailed seven-steps-plan that she swore with her life to follow rigorously. First, graduate high school with the highest GPA and do some volunteering in the big public clinic in her neighborhood. Second, get into the best college and get a Major in Biology. Third, ace the Medical College Admission Test. Four, get into the best Med School of the country. Five, attend Med School and pass all the Boards top of the class. Six, get into the best general surgery residency program and complete it. Seven, finish fellowship in Cardio-thoracics. 

     Steps one to five weren’t too difficult to achieve. Y/N wasn’t presumptuous - not too much anyways -, but she was one to work hard to reach her goals, whatever they may be. Always independent and maybe a little bit too proud, Y/N was confident in saying that she got where she were all by herself. She liked having control over her life, so this time, for step number six of her plan, it was only normal that she was a bit more anxious than usual.

     She dreaded the Match Day. What if she wasn’t accepted into her first choice? If she wanted to become a great heart surgeon she needed to get into the best surgery program. Of course, she knew that getting into any program was something to be happy about - but who was she kidding, the best was the best for a reason. And she wanted it. 

     She had been working hard since she was fourteen. Fast forward 12 years and she was now 26 years old, two steps away from finally achieving her dream. 

     This was it.

     It was customary to attend a big party during Match Day, one where all the aspiring residents would open their envelopes all together to share their destiny, good or bad. It wasn’t Y/N’s type of thing. She invited only the closest to her, all now sitting in her small living room. Her brother Seokjin had taken a few days off from work and had flew miles to be with her on this special day. He wished, just as much as Y/N did, that she would be assigned to the teaching hospital of her choice, not only because it had the best surgery program but also because it was the very same hospital he was working in as a nurse. He couldn’t wait to finally have her little sister back home and to call her his colleague. 

     Sitting next to Seokjin was Namjoon, her forever best friend. Even if the two of them parted ways after college - the man choosing to stay in order to earn a Master in Diplomacy and International Relations - they continuously stayed in contact through the years, as if they lived only a few minutes apart. It was clear that their bond was unbreakable. Any excuse was good enough to go and visit his best friend and today wasn’t an exception. Just like Seokjin, Namjoon gladly took a few days off from his job as a Foreign Affairs Specialist on the making and brought with him his longtime girlfriend Ashley.

      Over the years the two girls had built a strong bond, to the point that they called each other the best of friends. Of course, Namjoon loved the fact that the two most important women in his life were so close. Ashley was the best girl friend Y/N ever had - she always preferred hanging out with men. Girls were typically over competitive about even the smallest and shallowest of things, a trait that Y/N didn’t appreciate because - well, she already was the most competitive person she knew, and she was more than enough. Ashley, on the other hand, was anything but. She somehow lived in her own world made of flowers and trees, bringing the carelessness that sometimes Y/N unfortunately lacked of. 

     Beside her was Y/N’s boyfriend of two years, Hoseok. The two of them had known each other since college, him being a waiter in Y/N’s favorite coffee shop, but weren’t actually that close. After graduation, just as simple acquaintances do, they parted ways and never talked to each other again. Until two years later, after accepting a job offer as a choreographer for a big dancing school, Hoseok moved in the apartment next to Y/N’s. The transition was easy after that: a couple of drinks reminiscing about the past and a couple of dates talking about the future. 

     Y/N found in Hoseok the perfect boyfriend, so perfect, in fact, that sometimes she found herself thinking that he was especially crafted for her. He was just as ambitious and hard working as her, so they often found themselves encouraging each other. He knew how to lift the over bearing pressure over her shoulders and she was the inspiration in his everyday life. As a couple, they had a lot of fun, sometimes by going to crafty original dates and sometimes just by dancing around in their now shared living room.

     When the time to send the applications for the Resident Matching Program came, Y/N found herself surprisingly hesitant because winning an internship meant that she would likely had to move across the country. She didn’t doubt for a second that following her dreams was the right thing to do, it was still her first priority, but she knew that it was a choice that would bring a strain to their perfect relationship. Yet Hoseok once again didn’t disappoint her. 

     The evening that they sat on the couch together to talk about it, the man stayed silent for a moment before releasing a long breath. He hugged her close and reassured her, saying that they both knew that this moment was going to come, that he would never ask her to stay for something as trivial as distance and that she had worked too hard to get where she was to second guess. Even if it was going to be difficult he was going to support her no matter what, even if it meant that he had to quit his job and move across the country with her. A part of Y/N knew it was egoistical of her to find comfort in his words, but nevertheless felt reassured that they were on the same page as always. 

     So the plan was this: Y/N would move wherever she had to, in time for the beginning of her training in July, and Hoseok would follow her in June, once the project he was working on was completed. They knew they could bear a few months apart and jokingly took it as a chance to test their love.

     Hoseok knew very well how important this moment was for Y/N. Since they were in college she was famous for being the perfect student, the valedictorian of their year. He knew how hard she worked for this very day and he also knew how scared she was of not being matched to her dream surgery program. He knew that she wasn’t able to sleep last night, he felt her tossing around beside him, lost in her thoughts. He didn’t try to comfort her though because he knew it wasn’t what she needed and that it would only worsen her anxiety. 

     The signs of her distress was clear all over her body, everyone from the couch could see them. She was still staring at her coffee cup, biting away over her lip. She was pale and even the make up she had put on for the occasion couldn’t hide the dark circles under her eyes. The computer was all set up in front of her on the coffee table, her inbox page ready to be refreshed for the special email. 

     “Am I the only one who doesn’t understand why she’s so anxious?”, Seokjin murmured in Namjoon’s ear. “She’s literally the smartest person on this planet.”

     “I know, right?”, the other boy murmured back. “As if she ever failed anything in her life.”

     “Yeah. Do you know how annoying that is? I’m stuck with being the handsome and funny one in the family.” Y/N’s brother sighed dramatically making the others laugh.

     “Now that I’m thinking about it, I actually did never saw her fail in anything. Not once.”, Namjoon huffed. “You’re right, she’s gonna get what she wants this time as well.”

     “No doubt.”, Ashley nodded.

     “Come on, guys.”, Hoseok said under his breath, trying to hide a smile. “She’s human too.”

     “Are you sure?”, the three of them responded all together, louder than they meant to. 

     Y/N jumped from her place on the armchair, startled by the sound. “What?”, she asked looking up.

     “Nothing, sis. We were just talking about how unnecessarily anxious you are.”

     “Jin!”

     “Come on, Ash. You were with us just a second ago. She’s gonna get in and we all know it.”

     Y/N gasped. “Oh my god! I swear if you just jinxed it I’m going to kill you.”

     “As if.”

     Y/N sighed and run her hands through her hair. “I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Seriously.”

     Hoseok walked up to stand beside her and put an arm around her shoulders reassuringly. “Babe, what we’re saying is that you’re so brilliant that it is statistically impossible for you to not be matched to your first choice. You have nothing to worry about.”

     “You guys are really jinxing it.” she cried leaning against her boyfriend. The man hugged her closer.

     “Listen, Y/N.” Seokjin sighed as theatrical as always. “No one was surprised when you got a scholarship for three of the best colleges of the country. No one was surprised when you entered Med School either. And no one is going to be surprised this time as well. I’m telling you ... if you don’t get that internship at that goddamn hospital I am going to pierce my tongue!”

     The woman giggled, successfully distracted. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

     “That you do.”

     “Anyways, guys.” Ashley exclaimed. “It’s almost time!”

     Y/N looked down at her wrist watch: 11.58 a.m. Ashley was right, two more minutes and her future was going to begin. She actually said that same phrase at least three other times in her life and also meant it , but this one was different. Her residency would define the surgeon she was going to be and to be the best surgeon, she needed to match with the best program. 

     She felt her heartbeat fasten once again and before she knew it she started clicking on the refresh button aggressively. 

     11.59. Nothing yet. 

     She was really going to have a heart attack at 26. Which, now that she thought about it, was very ironic since she wanted to become a Cardio-thoracic surgeon.

     12.00. One last refresh. The others leant forward, ready to capture every change in her expression. Ready to celebrate.

     There was it, punctual as predicted. With a trembling finger Y/N clicked on the link, holding her breath. 

     Hoseok was the first one to react. He smiled widely just a few seconds after the page opened. It wasn’t easy to miss it, really: it was written in bold black letters. Y/N, on the other hand, had to read the sentence at least ten times before believing it.

     “Oh my god.”, she gasped.

     “Come on, guys. On my three let’s all act surprised!”

     “Remember to call me when you get there.” Hoseok said, squeezing his girlfriend in his arms. This was more difficult that the both of them thought it would be. 

     They were standing a few meters away from the airport security gates, saying their goodbyes before Y/N’s flight. Three weeks had passed since Y/N discovered she was accepted to her dream job. She was ecstatic, of course. Everything she ever wanted was coming true. Plus, after four years away she finally got to go back home, even if it meant living with her annoying brother again. She couldn’t wait to practice real medicine on real patients with real pathologies. She could finally start calling herself a doctor. Doctor Y/L/N. She loved the sound of that.

     Of course, the downside of it all was that she had to leave Hoseok behind. Even if it was only for a couple of months. Knowing that this moment was bound to arrive didn’t make it any easier.

     “I’m going to miss you so much.” she murmured in his chest, inhaling deeply. She was going to miss his smell, so particular - it was what she thought the sun would smell like, mixed with a little bit of vanilla. She was going to miss how his hugs would engulf her and make her feel safe, or the way he laughed, his boisterous laugh. Jung Hoseok was the only one who could make her stop from continuously running. He brought peace in her overworking mind.

     “I’m going to miss you too.” he sighed kissing her forehead. “But we are going to get through this. I’m going to call you every hour ‘til you get tired of me.”

     Y/N smiled. “If you do call me every hour I will get tired of you.”, she looked up to his eyes, her chin resting on his chest. “A call every five hours should do it.”

     “Every five hours? That sounds outrageous.”

     “Doctors are very busy, don’t you know that?”

     Hoseok smiled sweetly down at her. “Doctor.”, he repeated proudly. “My girlfriend is a doctor. How cool is that?”

     “Super cool.” Y/N giggled.

     The man sighed one more time, turning serious once again. He leaned to give her a slow but deep kiss, trying to convey all his emotions. “I love you.”, he was usually the shiest of the pair in voicing his emotions, but this time there was no holding back.

     Y/N felt a single tear running down her cheek. “I love you too.”

     “Don’t you feel like we’re two overdramatic teenagers?”

     The woman giggled giving him a cheesy peck on the lips. “Who cares.”

     Moving back with her brother was just as annoying as she predicted it was going to be. She loved him to bits, really, but after four years she forgot how exasperating Seokjin could be. 

     He still lived in the same apartment as years ago, the one near her college, but he had completely taken over it, as it was expected. It became the definition of a man cave, complete with unironed sheets and expired milk bottles. His excuse was the lack of time and energy caused by his agonizing long shifts at the hospital, to which Y/N often responded that it was only an excuse and what he really needed was a partner in his life. The bright side was that he was still the great cook she remembered he was.

     With the move Y/N rediscovered her old habits. For starters she began going on frequent jogs again, something she had stopped doing because it turned out that Med School was much more demanding and draining than college. The neighborhood park was as beautiful as she remembered, especially with the spring colors. And it was during one of those morning runs that she bumped into her old Physiology teacher, Professor Lee, the one she used to TA for. She was extremely fond of him. He was the most feared teacher of their major, the most strict and hated of them all. But he was actually quite pleasant with Y/N, he was the one who wrote the greatest recommendation letter she could hope for, the one that most probably got her into Med School. They caught up on their lives over a cup of americano in her favorite coffee shop, the very one near the big fountain in their college square. 

     That was a nice trip to memory lane too. For instance, that was the place where she met Hoseok for the very first time. But aside from him, the place did hold a lot of memories. Most of them very happy too. And most of them involved a group of loud boys.

     For the first time since forever she found herself thinking about them, wondering how they were doing. They shared a lot of time together during senior year, they were practically inseparable. It was unfortunate that they parted ways in such an unfriendly manner. 

     Discovering that her boyfriend of the time, the one she thought had cheated on her, the one she hated like no one else, was actually a good man ... well, it didn’t do any good to her conscience. She thought about reaching out to him, to clear things up and give their relationship the conclusion it deserved. But too much time had passed and she didn’t find it in her to open old wounds. For all she knew he moved on with his life. The truth was, she was just too proud.

     It burdened her for quite some time, until it didn’t anymore. 

     She smiled thinking about it now, because what felt like the biggest heartbreak of her life was actually just a few months fling. Insignificant compared to what she had with Hoseok. 

     “I found this great apartment ten minutes from the hospital.” she was just telling him over the phone. “It’s a little bit small but it has all we need. It’s freshly renovated and the shower is quite big.”

     “We do love a big shower.”

     “We do.”, Y/N nodded stealing a potato chip from her brother who was scrolling through the Netflix page for their movie night. “I also did some research and there’s this dance school just a couple blocks away. It’s nothing like the one you are working in now but it looked nice.”

     “Nice is good, I suppose.”, Hoseok giggled. “I can work with nice.”

     “If they hire you you can make them great. No, Jin. Not The Hangover again. Let’s watch something serious for once.” 

     “Serious is annoying. And we already have you for that.” Seokjin responded pointedly.

     “Shut up. Hobi, I’m telling you, I can’t wait for you to get here so I can finally get rid of my obnoxious brother.” 

     Since her training wasn’t going to start ‘til July, Y/N had a lot of time in her hands. Months of it. It was nice the very first weeks but it soon got boring. She settled all there was to be settled and now she didn’t know what to do with herself. She was beginning to feel restless, she wasn’t used to having so much free time. She started second guessing her decision to move so many months prior the beginning of the program. Other than apartment hunting and settling those couple of other boring things, she discovered that there really was no need to leave this early. She could be with her boyfriend now.

     Hoseok, on the other hand, was busier than ever. His crew was hired to dance in a music video of a pop singer, which was supposedly a big thing, something that would open him - the main dancer and the choreographer - a lot of doors in the industry. So over the past month all he ever did was work in the dance studio, to the point that he almost lived there and he was so busy and tired that their daily calls got shorter and shorter. Not that Y/N blamed him, she was happy for this opportunity. If anything it lifted a heavy burden from her shoulders. The truth was she felt guilty for putting her dreams before his, for forcing him to leave everything to follow her. He never blamed her for it, of course. He never showed an ounce of hesitation.

    To keep herself occupied, Y/N decided to bring her new sketchbook and pencils to her new favorite coffee shop down the street. She discovered it during one of her runs and fell in love with it. It was small but cozy, with wooden furniture, lots of plants and delicious chocolate muffins.

    Drawing was one of those hobbies she had lost during Med School and rediscovered during this period of vacation. Since she lost practice, she wasn’t as good as she was before and wasn’t as satisfied with her portraits as she used to, crumpling and wasting more paper than she cared to admit.

     Today’s subject was a little boy, peacefully doing his homework with his legs dangling under the table, his mother next to him reading a heavy looking book while sipping a cup of something smoking hot. He was just too cute to ignore. She was just sketching his left eye when she suddenly heard a male voice calling her name.

    “Y/N? Is that you?”

    She looked up at the sound. It took her a second to recognize the man standing next to her. He had changed over the years, looking more mature. He was wearing glasses now, a pair that made him look alluring, a vibe enhanced by his attire: black turtleneck, black trousers and black chelsea boots.

    “Yoongi?” Y/N exclaimed standing up. She gave him a quick instinctive hug, her body moving on its own accord. The man didn’t seem to mind, embracing her back with the same amount of affection. She couldn’t help but being surprised of seeing him. What were the chances of meeting someone you haven’t talked to for years in such a big city?

    “How are you?” the man sincerely smiled down to her. He too looked genuinely happy to see her. “It’s been ages since we last saw each other.”

    “My graduation.” she nodded sitting back down. “I’m fine, great actually. How about you? Hey,” she added shyly, not waiting for an answer. “Why don’t you seat with me. We could catch up.”

    “Actually,” Yoongi responded tentatively. “I’m meeting with the guys. Do you mind if they join us? I bet they would be happy to see you.”

    “By the guys, you mean the guys? You’re still in touch with each other?”

    Yoongi smirked sitting down on the chair in front of her and ordering an ice americano to a passing by waiter. “Of course we are. We’re brothers, you know?”

    Y/N smiled fondly in response. “Right.” They really were brothers. Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook were inseparable even back then. For a period of time Y/N was part of that family too. She felt nostalgic all of a sudden. “How are they? How are they doing?”

    “They’re doing great. Jimin and Taehyung work for the same magazine and are still as annoying as ever.” he smirked. “I’m still working in that research laboratory from years ago, remember? The one that hired me straight out of college.”

    “What about Jungkook?” Y/N asked. “Did he get into Med School?”

    “He did, actually. He’s going to start his residency this summer.” he answered. “How about you? Are you still focused on becoming the greatest heart surgeon of the country?”

    “You remember that?” Y/N giggled, recognizing her old catch phrase. “Of course I am. I’m starting my residency this summer too.”

    “Really? In the city? In what hospital? You and Jungkook might go to the same one.”

    Before she could answer his question, Y/N heard her name being called once again, this time by two loud men. Jimin and Taehyung walked up to them with complete surprise printed on their faces. The last thing they expected to see that morning was their long-time friend sitting next to such a familiar face.

    Just like Yoongi, the two boys had changed quite a lot over four years. If possible, they became even more handsome. Taehyung had longer hair now, dark wavy locks falling over his eyes, giving him some kind of gloomy and mysterious vibe. He seemed broader too, his shoulders wider than she remembered. His fashion style had changed too, going from college heartthrob to company executive. Jimin had gone blonde, a color that suited him very well, in a manner that made him look ethereal like a prince. He looked like he walked straight from a fashion shoot, wearing luxurious looking shoes and sunglasses and standing there with all of his confident aura.

    Y/N didn’t need to look around to know that their presence had captured the attention of everyone inside the shop and she found herself smiling.

    Just like the old days.

    “Jimin, Taehyung.” she saluted them with a hug as well. She wasn’t sure if it was to be considered awkward greeting someone she hadn’t seen for years like that, but she did it nonetheless. “Long time no see.”

    “No kidding!” the blonde said, grabbing a chair from the next table to join them. Taehyung followed him suit. “Are you back in town?”

    Y/N nodded. “I was just saying to Yoongi that I’m going to take my residency here.”

    “In that big ass hospital a few minutes from here?” Jimin asked.

    “Yeah, that.”

    “Jungkook also got accepted there.” Taehyung said before furrowing his brows. “That might be awkward.” He added before he could stop himself.

    Y/N shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t think so. It’s all water under the bridge. I mean, it was a long time ago.” she answered sincerely. All her feelings for him had vanished years ago. Truth be told, their memories together had become blurry too, a little bit romanticized even. Those few times she inevitably found herself thinking about him over the past few weeks was with fondness and a little bit of regret, but nothing more.

    Yoongi sighed. “About that.” he exchanged a furtive look with the others. “We never had the chance to clear things out. I’m not sure this is the right time or place since we just met each other again, but the thing is -”

    The woman put a hand up interrupting him. “There’s no need, Yoongi. Sarah explained everything to me a couple of months after graduation.”

    The boys stared at her with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

    “Sarah? That Sarah?” Taehyung clarified.

    Y/N nodded. “That Sarah. She sent me a message after she learned about me and Jungkook.” She remembered how unexpected it had been, much like a bolt from the blue. Just when all thoughts of him had finally disappeared, after weeks of anger and pain, everything she believed he did turned out to be a total misunderstanding. It gave her quite a whiplash.

    “Then, if you knew what really happened, why didn’t you contact us?” Jimin asked with a pout, half teasing and half serious. “We tried reaching out to you a lot of times but ...”

    “Don’t try making her feel guilty, Jimin.” Yoongi rolled his eyes at the ceiling.

    “No, he’s right.” the girl sighed playing with the teaspoon of her hot chocolate. After leaving their frat house that morning, the three boys had tried speaking to her for weeks, calling her, waiting for her after her classes and even coming to her apartment. But she never gave them a chance, too hurt to be able to separate her feelings towards Jungkook from those for the three of them. “I should have called you.” she admitted. “It’s just that ... I don’t know. I thought it was futile, too much time had passed. We all moved on with our lives by then.”

    The guys exchanged a quick knowing look, a little sad.

    “I am sorry.” she said finally, looking up. “I guess it was immature of me.”

     “We get it.”, Yoongi reassured her with a smile. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you.”

     “Anyways,”, Taehyung clapped. “What’s done is done, we can all be friends again now.”

     So they spent the next hour talking and laughing, catching up about their lives and awakening their old friendship while waiting for Jungkook, who was running late. It was simple to fall at ease with each other and Y/N was grateful too see that there was no awkwardness between them. More than what happened with Jungkook, she regretted cutting ties with them the most. Maybe it was strange, they barely spent together half a year, but she really was fond of them. What she loved the most about them was how easily they could make her laugh. She never admitted it out loud, but with all the stress that came with senior year their company became her only escape from reality.

     “So tell us, Y/N.”, Jimin said with a teasing tone. “How’s your love life going?”

     She shook her head amused. “Still a gossiper I see.”

     “Come on, its been four years since you broke up with Jungkook. You said it yourself, all water under the bridge. No hard feelings here. I wanna know the juicy stuff.”

     Y/N laughed. “Fine. I’ve been in a relationship for two years. You might remember him actually. Hoseok? From college?”

     “Hoseok?”, Taehyung repeated. “The waiter from our coffee shop?”

     Y/N nodded.

     “Wow.”, Jimin exhaled. “Isn’t he the one who spilled the beans about Jungkook and Sarah?”

     “Jimin.”, Yoongi admonished him once again.

     “What? It’s a fact! It’s not like I’m accusing him or anything.”, the other snorted. “I liked the guy.”

     “Is it weird?”, Y/N asked sincerely curious. “Not that it matters, but do you think Jungkook will find it weird?”

     “Found what weird?”, asked a voice making Y/N jump on her seat for the third time that morning. “Y/N.”, he breathed. “I thought it was you.”

     If the other guys changed, Jungkook went through a complete evolution. He was already something before, but this ... this was another thing altogether. Just like Taehyung, he had grown his hair longer and got a lot more muscular, he also got both of his ears pierced, more than a couple of silver rings adorning them. He had a black leather jacket over a black shirt, a couple of buttons undone showing maybe a little bit too much of his chest. His jaw was as sharp as ever and his eyes shone with a mischievous light. 

     She would never admit it but her heart did skip a bit.

     “Jungkook.”

     Meeting Jungkook again went more bizarrely than what she expected. She had to admit that she did thought about it more than once, years ago, fantasized even. She thought about what she would say to him, what he would say to her. She imagined them getting back together, or parting ways once again. She thought about saying sorry to him for not giving him the benefit of the doubt. And then she stopped thinking about it altogether.

     But seeing him again that day ... well, it was weird. The fact that he looked completely different from what she remembered was stupidly surprising. Whenever he popped into her mind she imagined the old Jungkook, frozen in time, not this. Back in college he already was handsome and charismatic, the very good looking and talented quarterback that everybody loved and admired. But this was a whole other level of ridiculous. And Y/N was only human, she didn’t even had the time to control her thoughts before it was too late.

     He was sexy as hell.

     So she felt somehow uneasy, despite what she had said just minutes ago about things being in the past. Plus, to make the situation even weirder, the fact that they ended things the way that they did made the both of them act like two awkward teenagers.

     “Hi.”

     “Hi.”

     “How are you?”

     “I’m fine, thank you. How about you?”

     “I’m fine, too.”

     “That’s good.”

     “Yeah.”

     The other boys watched the scene with amusement. It was only predictable that two exes meeting again after a long time would act that way. None of them expected hugs and kisses, of course. 

     “Sorry I’m late, guys.”, Jungkook finally said, looking away from Y/N and sitting on the empty chair they saved for him. They were getting a little too crowded around the table which was originally meant for two people, but none of them made a move.

     “No problem.”, responded Jimin. “Y/N here was keeping us great company. Where were you anyways?”

     “Uhm.”, Jungkook mumbled scratching his neck, clearly embarrassed. “Lisa’s car broke down so I had to pick her up.”

     Y/N felt uneasy, the sole reason being that he looked in discomfort as well. She could only imagine that Lisa was his girlfriend.

     “Is she okay?”, Taehyung asked.

     “Yeah, she was just running late for work so she asked me to accompany her.”

     There was a moment of silence where Taehyung, Jimin and Yoongi watched as the other two avoided looking at each other.

     Y/N had no memory of Jungkook being timid, if anything he was one of the most confident person she knew. Now that she thought about it, they often bickered over their respective cockiness. She sighed, gathering some courage to speak. 

     This is ridiculous. We broke up ages ago.

     “The guys told me that you’re starting your residency this summer.”, she said at the end. Someone had to act maturely.

     “Oh yeah. This July.”, he answered, looking happy that she had taken the first step. “How about you? Are you back in town?”

     “Yeah. We’re going to be colleagues, actually.”, she said tentatively watching his reaction.

     He smiled lightly at her, unsurprised. “I was sure we would be.”, he admitted catching Y/N and the others by surprise.

     “You were?”, she exclaimed.

     “You always aimed for the best.”, he smirked knowingly, finally resembling the smug boy she remembered.

     Y/N was brought back to four years ago, when they used to study together between their busy schedules aiming for the same goal, when they used to spur each other in the moments of doubt. She finally remembered. 

     He was proud, he didn’t like asking for her help unless it was strictly necessary, and those times he caved he would later reprimand himself for not being able to understand the concept on his own, always thanking her with a kiss because he wasn’t competing against her but with himself. There were times when she was so tired that she would get pessimistic and cynical, it was a trait of her personality that only few people knew because she didn’t like being seen weak. Jungkook was always there when those moments came, he could tell just by the way she would start scribbling angry lines on the side of her notes. He didn’t try talking her out of it saying things like ‘you have no reason to worry’ or ‘you can do it”, because he knew that they were meaningless words. What he did was make her hot chocolate with a lot of cream and a lot of marshmallows, he would sit on the couch and cradle her like a baby, humming the first song that came to mind. Y/N loved it, it made her feel all warm inside. Jungkook knew all of her struggles, he knew how hard she worked for what she wanted and how more often than not she was close to giving up. And he had been there for her.

     Y/N smiled back. “That I still do.”

     And just like that the ice was broken.

     It came naturally. That day at the coffee shop was only the beginning of their renewed friendship. A couple of days after that they went for drinks, joined by Namjoon and Ashley, restoring the old group. It was like senior year all over again, but at the same time it was nothing like it. All of them had changed over the years, some more than others. Jungkook, for example, had become quieter, more tranquil. He still made silly jokes and smart remarks, sure, but not as much as Y/N remembered. She guessed it was only right, she had probably changed too. 

     After the initial embarrassment, the two connected easily and Y/N discovered that she quite liked the idea of them being friends again. She had to admit that just for a second she wondered if it was wrong of her to hang out with him again, giving that he was her ex boyfriend and she was now with someone else. But she convinced herself rather easily that she wasn’t doing anything bad, after all ignoring him would have meant that there were still some kind of feelings lingering between them and that was not the case. She talked to Hoseok about it nonetheless, not because she wanted his permission but out of respect. He did seemed a bit jealous about it but was mature enough to know that it was not right of him to stop her.  

     Besides, Jungkook was with someone as well. She learned about Lisa, his girlfriend of over a year who he had met while jogging at the park - Y/N teased him about it, since that their relationship had started in the same way. And when they discovered that both Lisa and Hoseok were professional dancers, they both had a field day. Y/N also learned that he didn’t want to become a pediatric surgeon anymore, but changed his goal to trauma surgery, surprising her quite a lot. Jungkook then told her how he had received an offer to play in the NFL just a couple of days after they broke up but ended up turning it down, living Y/N with an uneasy feeling. It gave them an excuse to finally talk about what happened between them.

     “Was it my fault?” she asked seriously, looking down at her drink.

     “Of course not.” he reassured her. “It was never my dream.”

     “I know.” she replied looking back up at him. They were leaning against the wall, getting some fresh air while the others where inside the bar doing drinking games in honor of their reunion. “Still, it was a big opportunity.”

     “Huge.” Jungkook corrected her with a smile. “I could have been worth millions now.”

     “And living in an expensive loft, driving expensive cars.” she joked back.

     “Instead I’m sharing a small apartment with Yoongi hyung and driving a second hand wreck.”

     Y/N giggled at the dichotomy. The road to become doctors wasn’t an easy one for sure. “Have you ever regretted it?”

     “More than I care to admit.” he sighed. “If I have to tell the truth I almost said yes.” he paused to look at her from the corner of his eyes. “Because of Sarah.”

     “Oh. Of course.” He taught he needed to be able to take care of his child and its mother within a very short time, playing as a professional quarterback would have been the most obvious choice. “Why didn’t you?”

     “Because I knew deep down that it wouldn’t make me happy.” he answered looking up to the night sky. “Because just like you, I wanted to realize my dreams, even if it meant that I had to work two jobs. Which I ended up doing, by the way.”

     “Even after ... you know, you discovered that the baby wasn’t yours?”

     “Yeah.” Jungkook sighed once again. “My parents didn’t take it well - both the fact that I got a random girl pregnant and that I refused such a once in a lifetime opportunity. I don’t know if you remember, but our relationship was already strained and it pretty much broke after that.”

     “I’m sorry.” Y/N murmured sadly. She could only imagine what a difficult time he could have had. 

     “It’s not your fault.” he reassured her.

     “Maybe not, but I played a part in it all.” she said drinking in a single sip what was left of her drink. “I really am sorry. For everything.”, she took a deep breath before speaking again. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I should have asked you for an explanation. And after I discovered the truth I should have called you to clear things up. I was immature.” she admitted.

     Jungkook shook his head. “I don’t blame you, after all I did cheat on you, even if I don’t remember it. I would have reacted the same. Besides, I should have fought for you, instead of letting you walk away just like that. Despite Sarah’s pregnancy, I should have fought for you.”

     They shared a sad smile, recognizing their faults. A lot of things could have gone differently if they’ve put aside their pride. But it was too late now, a lot of things had changed.

     “Maybe ...” Y/N spoke after a moment of heavy silence. “Maybe we really didn’t want to solve things. Maybe we didn’t want it enough. If we did we both would have fought harder, don’t you think?”

     “I guess so.”, he answered looking up at the sky again.

     “Maybe it was supposed to go as it did,”, she added. “So that we could be with those who we love today.”

     Jungkook bit the inside of his cheek, uneasy. “Maybe.”

     Y/N and Hoseok were talking on the phone just like every evening. The first weeks apart had been difficult for both of them since they were used to be together almost  24/7. A year into their relationship Y/N had given up her apartment to move into Hoseok’s, which was only a natural choice since he literally lived next door. Living together as a couple worked perfectly fine for both of them. Hoseok was a very tidy person who loved to keep the house in order, unfortunately he was a disaster in the kitchen so Y/N had finally found an excuse to put to practice all she had learnt from her home cook brother. Their timetables were mostly the same, Hoseok working at the dancing studio till dawn and Y/N attending Med School classes five times a week. On Saturdays and Sundays they would often go on dates, they especially liked going on last minute trips and visit nearbye cities, and sometimes they liked being a little more adventurous by trying adrenalic activities such as bungee jumping and hang gliding. Yet there were also times when they were both too tired and they would end up spending the weekend in their pajamas watching reruns of their favorite series.

     Hoseok was the typical man the girls dreamed of. Not only he was good looking, but he was also passionate and smart. He was kind and very considerate. He knew how to listen and he knew how to laugh. He rarely got mad but he stayed true to his values and ideals and when he knew that something was morally wrong he didn’t hesitate to speak out about it. Hoseok was sweet and very loving, he never stopped courting Y/N, always the hopeless romantic. She was lucky because she never wanted for anything with him. 

     “I’ve been drawing a lot lately.” she told him while taking a bite from her pepperoni pizza. Dinner time was usually when their calls would take place and to have some privacy from Seokjin Y/N had gotten used to eating on her bed. “Today I went to the coffee shop I told you about and drew this old woman who was talking loudly on the phone with her speakers on full volume. One of the waiters had to ask her three times to lower her voice before she finally heard him.” Y/N giggled remembering the scene. “It was quite entertaining.”

     Hoseok smiled over the phone. “You used to do that a lot in college.”

     “What?”

     “You spent a lot of time drawing in my workplace, remember?” he explained. ‘Why did you stop?”

     “I don’t know.” she shrugged, reaching a hand to her nightstand to grab her sketchbook.  “I guess I lost the inspiration.” She ansered going through the dozen of portrait she had done over the past few weeks. She was getting better, her drawings getting more and more realistic.

     “I’m happy you found it again.”

     Y/N smiled. “Me too.”

     “Have you signed the contract for the apartment?” Hoseok changed the subject, his voice muffled because he was eating as well.

     “This morning. You’re going to love it. The windows overlook the park and the living room is so spacious that you can do tumbles in it.” she told him enthusiastically. “I’d move tomorrow if i could.”

     “When is the tenant leaving again?”

     “First week of July.” Y/N huffed annoyed. “Just in time before I start work.”

     “I can’t wait to get there next month.” he confessed. “I miss you so much.”

     She sighed falling back on the mattress. “Me too. Can you believe its been a month since we last saw each other?”

     “Yeah. I’ve felt every single day of it.”

     “Tell me about it.” Y/N looked up at the ceiling, suddenly feeling her chest constraint. “Can we talk about something else?”

     “Are you going to cry?” he teased her.

     “I might.” she grunted. “And you know I hate crying.”

     “I know.” he said, Y/N could hear the smile on his voice. “What do you want to talk about?”

     “I don’t know. Something exciting happened to you this days?” she asked sitting up again to grab another slice of pizza.

     “Not much really. I feel like all I’ve been doing is work, work, work and work.” Hoseok groaned. “You’re the one who’s having all the fun.”

     “What do you mean?”

     “Aren’t you hanging out with the guys a lot these days?”

     Y/N giggled. “Oh. Yeah. It’s actually been very nice seeing them again.” she admitted. “They’re so much fun to be with.”

     “I remember. You guys used to be the talk of the school back then.” Hoseok recalled amused. “You were like the Avengers.”

     “What are you talking about?” she laughed at the analogy.

     “Think about it.” he chuckled as well. “The valedictorian, the quarterback, the cold one, the heartthrob, the party guy, the philosopher and the botanist. Am I missing someone?”

     Y/N cackled. “I don’t think so.”

     “You guys were the most incoherent crew on campus. You were like a social experiment.”

     “I guess we were, weren’t we?” she joked back. They really were a variegated group of people. “Why is it that you never joined us? We used to hang a lot at the coffee shop and its not like we weren’t friends.” she pondered.

     “We were amicable.” he corrected her. “You guys were like exclusive.”

     “No we weren’t.” she snorted almost offended. “We were very friendly.”

     “You were, but you gave off this type of vibe ... you used to walk around campus like you were untouchable.” he recalled.

     Y/N furrowed her browse pensively. “We did?”

     “Yeah. It wasn’t until Jungkook started working at the coffee shop that I started seeing you guys from another perspective. Before that you were pretty much Hollywood superstars.”

     “You make us sound so obnoxious.” she said in a pout.

     “You weren’t.” he reassured her smiling. “You were just on another level of the social pyramid.”

     “I’m not sure I like that image.” Y/N confessed. “I never cared for such things and neither the others for what I remember. Taehyung, for example, was friends with everyone during college.”

     “Taehyung was friendly to everyone during college, there’s a difference.” he corrected her once again. “Listen, I didn’t want to offend you, everyone had their crew back in college. If anything I’m saying that we common people admired you a lot.”

     “No, I get it.” she pouted again. “It’s just the first time I’m hearing about it. I guess we did have a special connection between us. We still do actually. You’ll see when you get here. I’ll give you a special pass to enter our exclusive club.” she joked.

     “I’d like that.” he smiled.

     “Besides you have an advantage, you were already friends with Jungkook back then. You guys can hang out together again.”

     There was a pause on the other side of the phone call. “Yeah. I guess I’d like that too.”

     “So you guys are hanging out again?”, Seokjin asked his sister over breakfast dinner. Y/N had just told him about how they were all planning on having a Mexican dinner in Yoongi and Jungkook’s shared apartment the day after tomorrow, and how she wanted to try and bake a Mexican hot chocolate pie to prove them that her skills in the kitchen had improved over the years. Seokjin was aware of the fact that Y/N had met her old friends - and her ex - a couple of times, but it kind of surprised him discovering that they were planning themed dinner dates. “Does Hoseok know about it?” 

     Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes, playing with her potatoes with the fork. “Of course, he does. Why wouldn’t he?” she asked defensively.

     Seokjin shrugged. “Just asking. Jungkook is there too, right?”

     “Right.” she sighed annoyingly. “So?”

     “So, all I’m saying is that he has every right to be jealous. He’s your ex boyfriend after all.”

     “Well, he is not. Besides, he has no reason to be.”

     Seokjin arched an eyebrow, doubtful. “Really?”

     “Really.” she insisted. “It’s not like I’m going to cheat on him or anything. He knows that.”

     “I didn’t say that.” Seokjin huffed. 

     “You thought about it.” Y/N accused him with her fork. “We’re friends, that’s all.”

     “Exes can hardly be friends.”

     Y/N narrowed her eyes. “You are so limited. Of course they can. Besides,” she said with her mouth full of potatoes. “It wasn’t that big of a love story. We were together for like ... what? Three months? Four? It was more like a spring fling or whatever.” she continued dismissively putting her empty plate in the sink.

     Seokjin watched her washing the dishes with a furrowed brow, not entirely convinced. It was true, their relationship was brief, but he clearly remembered how it was and a part of him knew that the two of them could have been great together. It was unfortunate that they didn’t gave their relationship time to evolve. Seokjin liked Hoseok, he treated his sister like a princess, just as she deserved, and was overall a great guy. Still, if he had to chose between him and Jungkook, he would choose the latter. There was no specific reason why, really. It was not like Y/N was better with him than with the other or anything. He just liked Jungkook more, even after all that had happened years ago. Maybe it was the fact that he was good at Call of Duty.

     Seven o’clock was the perfect hour to go for a run, it wasn’t too early and it wasn’t too late, the park wasn’t yet packed but it wasn’t empty either. Y/N had started jogging every other day aiming to build up her stamina in sight of the long shifts that awaited her on July. With her earphones blasting hype music she would run the trails a couple of times before walking to her new favorite coffee shop to cool down and there, just like she used to when she was in college, she would order an ice americano grande with two extra shots and only one chocolate muffin - when she was younger she used to be able to eat three of them in one go.

     “I think I’m having a deja-vu.” said a male voice, too close to her ear making her jump in surprise. She took one earphone off and turned to her left.

     It was Jungkook. 

     It was obvious that he had been running too, his damped with sweat hair  framing his pretty face. He was out of breath, his chest rising up and down while he fanned himself with his white t-shirt.

     “You should stop listening to music at such a high volume.” he chastised her with a lopsided grin.

     “And you should stop coming behind people when they’re clearly distracted.” she replied crossing her arms. “One of this days someone might punch you in the face as a defense mechanism.”

     “Sorry.” he giggled. They started walking again, side by side. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

     “So you still love running, huh?” Y/N observed looking up at him. Now that he was wearing only a short sleeved t-shirt she could clearly see just how much muscular he had gotten over the years. Not that he had a small frame before, but he was on the buff side now, nothing too much, just enough to make her heart skip a bit.

     “I could say the same thing to you.”

     “I actually just started again.” she confessed. “I had to stop during Med School. Too tired, you know? I’m a little bit out of shape, in fact.”

     Jungkook stopped on his tracks, arching his brow teasingly. Y/N followed him suit, confused. “So your saying,” he said with clear mischief in his eyes. “That if I race you to the coffee shop down the street you would actually lose?”

     Y/N opened her mouth in bewilderment. She immediately understood what he was referring too because they used to do this a lot back in college. Always competitive, the two of them would race each other back to their favorite cafe’ and since he was a quarterback back then and she was a former sprinter, the challenge had always been fun.

     She was never going to admit it out loud, but he was probably right: she would surely lose this time. Yet she was proud and she didn’t want to give in too easily.

     She turned her back at him, ready to run. “The loser pays for breakfast.”

     Of course, the loser turned out to be her. Those couple of hundred meters never felt so long. Her lungs were burning, her face was heating up and she could literally feel her legs wobble. 

     “Shit.” she cursed with her hands on her knees. 

     “You ok?” Jungkook grinned, catching his breath as well. “Do I need to reanimate you?”

     “Fuck you.” was all she could say with her throat burning for air.

     The man laughed before straightening up. He put an arm around her shoulders to sustain her and started walking towards the glass doors of the shop. “Come on, breakfast is on me.”

     “Just give me a couple of weeks and we can talk again.” she promised. “I really need to freshen up, I feel like burning.” she then added pushing her hair away from her face.

     “Go on. I’ll take your order.”

     “An ice americano grande with two extra shots and a chocolate muffin.”

     Jungkook stared at her for a moment, something clearly going on through his mind. He smiled sweetly. “You’re still the same.”

     “You remember?” she asked half surprised.

     “Of course I do.” he replied tilting his head to the side. “Don’t you remember mine?”

     Y/N smiled back. “Of course I do.” she mimicked him. “It was the same as mine.”

     They looked at each other with fondness, lost in the old memories.

     “Go freshen up.” he finally said. “I’ll look for a table near the window.”

     “Those are my favorite seats.” she replied.

     “I know.” he grinned walking backwards towards the counter. “As I said, you’re still the same.”

     Once inside the bathroom Y/N had to lean on the door for a second. Her heart was beating fast and she could feel her cheeks burning. It wasn’t because of the exertion of the race but for another reason entirely. A reason she was too afraid to explore.

     “So are you ready to start our residency?” Jungkook asked taking a big bite from his third muffin.

     “God, I can’t wait. I’ve been ready since I was fourteen.” Y/N admitted.

     It had taken her more than a couple of minutes to calm down after their brief exchange. Her brother’s words rang annoyingly through her ears. She didn’t want to dwell on what she had felt and decided that ignoring everything altogether was the easiest thing to do. So she went to the sink and splashed her face with cold water at least ten times, trying to clear her mind. 

     Once she exited the bathroom, her heart rate finally normal and her skin color of a natural pink, she had no difficulty in spotting Jungkook. He had chosen the table next the biggest window and was sipping on his drink while watching those who passed by on the sidewalk.

     He smiled at her when she sat down and pushed towards her two plates of chocolate muffins saying that he knew that she had asked for only one but he thought that she needed the extra energy. 

     “So when did you fell in love with trauma surgery?”

     “I’m not as focused as you are.” he teased. “But really, no big story behind it. I just realized while studying that maybe I didn’t have it in me to treat sick kids.”

     “But you do for broken limbs and car crash victims?” she questioned amused.

     “Don’t forget gunshot and stab wounds.” he replied enthusiastically.

     “Yeah, let’s not forget those.” she rolled her eyes at the ceiling.

     She felt comfortable speaking with him, as if they never went their separate ways. She wondered if it was normal.

     “How’s your brother?” Jungkook asked pulling her away from her thoughts.

     “Seokjin? His fine, always annoying. He is definitely too happy about us working in the same building.”

     “Right. I forgot he was a nurse there. Does he remember me?”

     Y/N arched a brow. “Why wouldn’t he? You used to play games all the time. In fact, I think he would be happy to see you.”

     “Yeah?” he exclaimed cheerily. Then he suddenly became serious. “He gives good punches.” 

     “What How would you know that?”

     “Because he gave me one that same day you broke up with me.” he recalled. “Just a few minutes after you left, actually. Yoongi just let him in my room while I was crying my eyes out. Didn’t really see it coming, really, he just went full swing at my face and left without a single word. Jimin screamed like a girl.”

     Y/N felt her mouth fall. Seokjin never mentioned anything like this happening. He was never one for violence, truth be told she rarely saw him angry at all. Discovering that he went full knight in shining armor caught her by complete surprise.

     Imagining the scene Y/N couldn’t help but throw her head back in laughter amusing Jungkook who couldn’t contain a smile either. “I didn’t know I had an overprotective brother.”

     “He was kinda cool.” he admitted taking another bite from his muffin. 

     It was nice talking about the past like this, without embarrassment. Y/N was thankful that they had cleared things up. “I’m glad we’re friends again.” she confessed with a soft smile.

     “Me too.” he replied in a low voice.

     The next time Y/N and Jungkook meet is to celebrate Yoongi’s promotion to Clinical Project Manager for the medical research institute he worked for. He had planned a Korean dinner night complete with a portable stove grill for the barbeque and expensive soju and Korean beer. Having these themed dinners had become customary. Every Monday one of them would propose a cuisine on their group chat and the following Saturday they would meet at Yoongi’s apartment who usually did all the cooking. Until they had tried Italian, Mexican and Japanese.

     As the night progressed the seven of them began getting tipsier and tipsier, enjoying the alcohol the eldest bought a little bit too much for the late hour. Y/N, who was a quiet drunk and was worried about the neighbors, had tried more than once to make them lower their voices. It was useless. As Jimin and Taehyung started a karaoke competition, Y/N felt the sudden need of a little bit of silence. Wobbling on her feet she pushed herself through the living room and through the corridor until she met a white door head first. She opened it and found herself in a moon lit bedroom. She looked around, her vision a little bit blurry. A queen sized bed was sitting in the middle of the room, the white sheets perfectly folded. At the head of it hang a big wooden frame, the content of it hinting the owner of the chamber. It was Jungkook’s varsity jersey, the very one with which he had won four championships in a row, three of them as captain of the team. On either side of the shirt a very large number of medals were hanging by their colorful ribbons. Y/N couldn’t help but sneer, she had only see a wall of his room and it was already evident how much Jungkook liked to brag.

     “Hey, you ok?” a voice came behind her making her jump. Unsteady on her feet she almost fell however Jungkook’s big hand grabbed her by the elbow just in time to keep her straight.

     “Gosh, you have to stop doing that.” 

     “Sorry.” he giggled half drunk as well. “I saw you hitting your head on the door.”

     “Mmmh.” Y/N mumbled incoherently as she sat down on the edge of his bed. “I’m not exactly sober at the moment.”

     “I can see that.” he replied joining her. He lied on his back beside her and let out a big yawn.

     Y/N looked at him through her clouded eyes. He was wearing a black baggy t-shirt today, one that couldn’t hide his broad chest even if it was clearly twice his size. His matching cargo pants were perfectly hugging his thighs as well. Laying like that, with his eyes now closed and his hair in disarray, Jungkook was the epitome of sexy. Y/N felt herself blushing and diverted her eyes from his figure.

     She looked around the rest of the room. There wasn’t much, really. Just a big cupboard, some weights lying on the floor, a small library and an untidy desk. Over the latter were hanging smaller picture frames which subjects Y/N couldn’t decypher because of the dark. Yet one of them caught her attention, even from where she was sitting she could recognize that it didn’t contain a photograph like the others. It was bigger than the rest and occupied much of the space on the wall. She squinted her eyes trying to get a better look but too lazy to stand up. It took her a couple of tries before her drunk mind recognized the image. She felt her mouth fall in shock, her heart skipping a beat simultaneously.

     “Is that ...” she gasped. “Is that my portrait?

     Jungkook opened an eye at her words before leaning up on his elbows to get a better look at what she was referring to. “Oh, that.” he mumbled. “Yeah.”

     The portrait in question was a drawing the boys had commissioned her four years ago, all seven of them were in it and it took her almost a month to finish it before she was completely satisfied with her work. She recalled how the four bouys used to joke around on who was supposed to get it, making bets and giving her small treats to get on her good side. Last thing she remembered Taehyung had won the competition just by giving her his signature puppy eyes, she could never say no to that. Jungkook was quite bitter that his position as her boyfriend didn’t win him any points.

     Y/N couldn’t believe that he had it hanging on his bedroom floor and she felt herself getting emotional. “Why do you have it?” she whispered staring at him with wide eyes.

     Jungkook sat up straighter and scratched his neck, slightly embarrassed. “Taehyung surrendered it to me after - you know, after we broke up. As a consolation price, I guess.” he laughed softly looking at her from the corner of his eyes.

     “Why do you still have it?” she whispered again in disbelief.

     He shifted his eyes over the portrait pensively. He had it hanging over his desk since the day he had got it. He knew every line and every shadow by heart. “Because its beautiful.” he said matter-of-factly. 

     “Beautiful?” Y/N repeated looking back at the frame again. 

     “Yeah.” he nodded in a low voice. 

     She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol in her system but Y/N felt like there was a hidden meaning behind Jungkook’s words. To her drunken mind, a gift from an ex being beautiful wasn’t enough of an excuse for keeping it for four whole years. Yet she was too tipsy to dwell on it.

     “Doesn’t your girlfriend mind?” she asked curiously after a moment of silence.

     “Why would she?” he shrugged laying on his back once again.

     “Because I’m the one who drew it.” 

     “So?” he asked nonchalantly closing his eyes and entwining his hands over his stomach.

     “So I’m your ex.” it came out more as a question.

     Jungkook sighed before opening a single eye again. “Y/N its just a drawing. No need to dwell on it.”

     Y/N wasn’t convinced as she looked at him with her brows furrowed. Yet again, she wasn’t sober enough to insist. She laid down beside him, mimicking his position and closing her eyes as well. 

     “If you say so.”

     She felt him nodding through the darkness. Now that she had her eyes shut, she felt all of her other senses amplify. She could hear him breathing, could smell his perfume and could feel his skin just a couple on inches away from hers. She felt goosebumps running trough her arms, her heart beating faster once again. She felt the urge to touch him and clenched her fists to resist it. Trying to calm herself down, Y/N took a few deep furtive breaths keeping her eyes closed tight. But it looked like she wasn’t successful in being sly because she felt Jungkook turning his head towards her. To make things worst, the man rolled on his side and had the brilliant idea of putting a hand over Y/N’s.

     “Hey, are you ok?’ he asked worriedly. 

     His touch ignited a shiver down her spine that caused her to tighten her eyes even more. Her espression might have looked like she was in pain because Jungkook anxiously got up on his elbow to hover over her face.

     “Y/N?” he called her.

     The woman shook her head fervently, which she regretted immediately since she suddenly felt the whole world spinning. “I think I’m drunk.” she mumbled.

     “Ok.” Jungkook replied. “Do you want some water?”

     Y/N nodded. “Please.”

     “I’ll get it for you. Wait here.” 

     She felt him get up from the bed and walk towards the door and only when she heard it closing behind him that she released a deep breath, finally opening her eyes to the ceiling.

     “What the hell was that?”

     It was the first week of June and Y/N had been apart from Hoseok for two months now. To be honest, the long distance relationship wasn’t going as bad as she thought it would be. The first few weeks were brutal, of course, but as time went by she started feeling the weight of his absence less and less, making her feel conflicted about her emotions. She missed him, she loved him, yet she didn’t feel the urge to buy a one way ticket to be with him again. Nothing was stopping her from doing just that, either. She still had a few weeks left before her training and the new apartment wasn’t going to be available until the end of the month, so she really didn’t have a reason to stay there other than keeping her brother company. Nevertheless, she didn’t feel like going anywhere. She was enjoying this long vacation, because come to think of it she never had one before. She discovered that she didn’t mind being alone. Y/N had always been a solitary person, a quality over quantity type of girl, but since she had started dating Hoseok she got used to living life as a pair, and didn’t realize how she missed being alone. She liked this newfound independence and at the same time felt guilty about it. 

     Plus, Hoseok had gotten very busy over the past month, the music video project draining him of energy and time, causing their phone calls to be sporadic and brief during the day. He was enthusiastic about it, he had hired at least thirty people to dance an intense choreography, ready to show to the world what he was worth. Most of the time it was all he could talk about.

     “I never did anything like this.” he was just saying on the other side of the call. Y/N was laying on her bed, playing around with a cat shaped stress ball that Yoongi had gifted her the other day. “It’s huge, really. Everyone’s gonna see this music video and everyone’s gonna see my choreography. Can you believe that?” he continued enthusiastically. “If I do this right ... I don’t wanna jinx it.”

     Y/N laughed, smitten by his cuteness. “You’re gonna do great, Hobi.” she really was happy for him, she understood how great of an opportunity this was for his career. 

     “I really hope so.” he sighed. “Actually, I need to tell you something.” he continued tentatively.

     “What is it?” she asked.

     “I don’t think I will be able to fly there next week.” Hoseok said in one breath. “The thing is there is so much I have to do. I want everything to be perfect. You know what a perfectionist I and I still have to complete part of the choreography. I also have to train at least another group of dancers, just in case, you know? And the company was talking about doing a b-side music video too. That means I have to choreograph a whole new routine, you know me, I can’t do the same thing twice. And -”

     “Hobi.” Y/N interrupted his rumbling. She sat up and crossed her legs pensively. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the news. She was already confused as it was and she was looking forward to him joining her so that she could wash away her doubts. “When do you think you’ll be able to come?” she asked sadly.

     “I’m not sure.” he murmured defeated. “Maybe in August.”

     Y/N’s eyes widened. “In August?!” she gasped. “That’s two months from now!”

     “I know.” he grimaced. “They said they planned on recording both videos by the end of July.”

     Y/N closed her eyes, running her fingers trough her hair. “How long have you known about this?”

     “Y/N ...” he pleaded. “A week.”

     “A week.” she repeated slowly. “Why are you only telling me now?”

     “Because I know you would be angry.”

     “Of course I’m angry!” Y/N raised her voice. “We haven’t seen each other for two months! How do you think I would have reacted?”

     “I know, I’m sorry!” he exclaimed defensively. 

     Silence fell in both ends of the call. Y/N didn’t know what to say. She was angry and sad, but there was also a part of her, a part she was trying hard to suppress, that felt somehow relieved by the news. 

     “You could always come back home.” Hoseok said tentatively. 

     “What do you mean?”

     “You could come back home.” he repeated. “There’s no reason for you to be there.”

     Y/N knew what he meant, she knew he was right, but somehow she stupidly felt offended by his words. “I’m going to work here.” she hissed.

     “Not until July.” he responded firmly. “There’s no reason for you to be there now. You could come home. You’ve been doing nothing this past month, you could have come back home weeks ago.”

     Y/N didn’t fail to notice his accusing tone. “That’s not my home anymore.” she mumbled before she could stop herself. 

     Hoseok fell silent for a moment. “I’m supposed to be your home.” he replied matter-of-factly.

     Y/N knew that he was hurt by her words and he had every reason to be. “I’m sorry.” was all she could say, biting her lip.

     “Yeah.” he sighed.

     Their conversation had gone bad so quickly. Y/N couldn’t understand her feelings. She was angry at him for going back on his word, guilty that she didn’t care as she should, regretful of what she had said and ashamed that in a moment like this, for a reason that she didn’t understand, a familiar face kept popping in her head.

     Jungkook. 

     “I’m going to bed.” he announced suddenly bringing her back to reality. “I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?”

     “Ok.”

     “I love you.” Hoseok breathed slowly.

     “I love you too.” she replied, but for the first time in two years she didn’t fully mean it.

Part 2

     July - Aug.

     Day 1 of the general surgery residency program had finally arrived.

     Y/N was beyond thrilled. She had waited her whole life for this moment, her whole family were health workers, her father being an anesthesiologist and both her mother and brother being nurses, she was destined.

     That night she could barely sleep, not only for the excitement of the new adventure but also because she wasn’t used too sleeping alone in an empty house anymore. She loved her new apartment over looking the park, but she had rented it for herself and her boyfriend and, now that he had postponed his departure to the end of the summer, it just felt too big without someone to share it with.

     The past few weeks had been hard for their relationship, at least on Y/N’s side. She wasn’t sure if Hoseok only pretended not to see it, but she was feeling more and more distant to him. She tried to fight it during their daily phone calls, yet she still recognized that her attitude towards him had changed. She didn’t feel as excited as before when seeing his name on her screen, sometimes even ignoring him for a couple of hours until she could without worrying him. Their conversations were still naturally cheerful because she did care for him and she did enjoy talking to him after all. However she could feel that something had shifted inside her. 

     It was sad to admit but Y/N had gotten used to his absence. Her days didn’t evolved around him anymore, on the contrary, most of the time he was the last thing she would think of. She felt guilty about it, obviously and had a hard time admitting something that deep down she already knew.

     She didn’t speak of it with anyone because doing so would only make things real and she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with it. So she kept everything for herself, trying very hard to ignore her feelings and hoping that it was only a temporary situation caused by the distance between them. After all, Hoseok had nothing wrong. He was still as sweet and caring as ever despite they haven’t seen each other in person for three months now. He never failed to prove to her his love, sometimes even sending her little gifts that would make her smile contently, making her remember why she fell in love with him in the first place.

     His last gift had come by the mail just a couple of days before: a brand new stethoscope of a major brand.

     “I know you planned on keep using your father’s old stethoscope, for good fortune.” the note attached to the box read. “But I thought it was only right for you to start this new adventure with a pair of your own with the hopes that it will accompany you throughout this whole journey and that it could help you create your own fortune. I’m proud of you and I love you.”

     She had called him with tears that night.

     Y/N had been struggling about her feelings for Hoseok for weeks, keeping her distracted and absent-minded, but that day, her first day as an intern, she had no space for him in her mind. All she could think of was the adrenaline rushing through her veins, she felt wide awake even if she had slept only a few hours and it was 6 o’clock in the morning.

     “Here’s your chocolate.” Jungkook’s voice came from behind her. “Are you sure you don’t want some coffee? It’s hella early.”

     They were sitting inside the hospital cafeteria having breakfast together since they still had an hour before their appointment with their resident. The two of them had spent a lot of time together over the past week, going together at the dinner party for the interns and at orientation day. They had decided that since they lived farely close too each other now, and as soon as their shifts allowed it, they would come to work together, Jungkook picking her up with his second hand car. Fortunately enough, they were also assigned to the same resident which meant that they would spend their whole year as interns together.

     “No.” she answered to his question. “I’m already agitated as it is. Caffeine is the last thing I need.”

     “Good for you.” he replied taking a good sip of his own coffee. “I don’t know if its a defense meccanism or whatever but I feel like I could sleep till tomorrow.”

     “You’re still gonna be here tomorrow.” she noted.

     “I know.” he sighed. “Can you believe it? This is going to be our life now.”

     “Get ready, Dr. Jeon.” Y/N teased him. “I’m going to kick your ass this time as well.”

     Jungkook arched a brow at her. “You were only good in college because it was all theory, Dr. Y/L/N.” he bit back. “It’s all practice now. We’re in my field.”

     “Bet I’ll be the first of the two of us to hold a scalpel.” she said firmly reaching out a hand.

     “Bet I’ll be the first of all the interns to hold a scalpel.” he retracted smugly.

     Y/N smirked at his cockiness, already enjoying the challenge. “Deal.” she answered shaking his hand firmly.

     Their assigned resident didn’t seem to like the idea of having five interns to take care of. He was surly, angry half of the time and ignored them the rest of it. He didn’t like himself repeating himself twice and explained things only if asked to. On the other hand he demanded for them to answer correctly and promptly to all of his questions, and got annoyed easily if they took to long on doing basic medical procedures.

     Y/N and Jungkook’s first 6 hours as interns went like a living hell. The resident had noticed that the former was the first one to answer correctly most of his questions, even the trickiest ones, and instead of praising her for it he taken it upon himself to treat her us badly as possible, even accusing her of little things she didn’t do. Jungkook, always the knight, had made the mistake of defending her, getting on his bad side as well. 

     By lunchtime, the two of them had spent all of their energy by keeping themselves always on high alert, not only when they were with their resident but also when they were alone. Neither of them could relax, first because their teacher was the reincarnation of the devil and second because it turned out that the hospital was one hell of a scary place. Everything they did felt like it could kill a patient, even simply writing down the vitals of a lady with appendicitis. Y/N had checked at least five times if she what she had in hand was the right chart before writing anything down. She was visibly so anxious that Jungkook didn’t even find it in him to tease her about it.

     “This isn’t going as good as I thought it would.” Y/N said playing with the meat on her plate. They were at the cafeteria once again, stopping for the first time since that morning. “He hates me.”

     “He hates me too.” Jungkook said. “I think he hates us all.”

     “You shouldn’t have defended me.” she reprimanded him with a pout. “You’re making me feel guilty.”

     Jungkook sneered. “No way I was staying silent.” he exclaimed waving his fork at her. “He accused you of clamping the thoracic drainage of that man when you didn’t even touch it! He’s a bitch.”

     “Guess you’ve met Dr. Park.” a voice sniggered above their heads. Seokjin was carrying his lunch on a tray and was smiling at them with glee. 

     “You could have told me!” she accused her brother as he sat down at the table with them. “You knew!”

     “Of course I knew.” he laughed. “But where was the fun in that.”

     “I should have known.” Jungkook grimaced giving him a stern look. “You were too quiet that day and you’re never quiet.”

     After the initial awkwardness the two man had recovered their friendship as well, even playing games together again. Even when they were a couple, Y/N found their relationship strange, they had too much syntony despite having a 5 year age gap. For example, Jin didn’t act as comfortable with Hoseok, even if they had known each other for two years. But maybe that was just because they lived far from each other. 

     “According to my experience,” Seokjin said. “the more he gives you a hard time, the more he respects you.”

     “Why is that?” Y/N asked, suddenly curious.

     “See it this way. He knows you exist.”

     “Thanks. I feel better now.” Jungkook rolled his eyes.

     “No, really. Think about it. Has he spoken to any of the other interns?”

     Y/N thought about it for a second before shaking her head. “I don’t think so.”

     “Because he was too busy screaming at us.” Jungkook pointed out.

     “Because he saw you.” Seokjin corrected him.

     “How romantic.” the other puffed annoyed.

     “He might have a point, though.” Y/N said trying to convince herself that a hellish year wasn’t laying ahead.

     “Where are the other interns, anyway?”

     Jungkook shrugged. “Hiding away to cry, most probably.”

     “He doesn’t like them very much.” Y/N explained to his brother. “Two of them went to Med School with him and our total douchebags.”

     “The other one is a daddy’s girl who doesn’t even know how to put a tourniquet on.” the boy added. “Prepare yourself, Y/N. I’m going to glue myself to you.”

     “As if you haven’t already.” she smirked. “You were practically my shadow today.”

     “Only because you needed someone to defend you against Dr. Park.”

     “You’re my knight in shining armor.”

     Seokjin groaned. “Please, don’t start flirt in front of my salad.”

     Maybe because she was tired or maybe because she had spent the whole day close to him, but that night, alone in her big apartment, Y/N dreamt of making love to Jungkook.

     The next phone call she has with Hoseok was painful. It was the morning after her first shift and he was so enthusiastic about hearing how it went while all Y/N could think about was how guilty she felt of dreaming about being with another man. It had happened before, of course, but all with fictional characters or actors she had a crush on, never with real people she actually knew. Let alone her ex boyfriend.

     She tried to blame it on the fact that she hadn’t had sex for three months now and that it was only due for her to have a wet dream. Jungkook was the subject of it only because she had been seeing a lot of him lately. Nothing more.

     It wasn’t easy to stop thinking about it, the whole thing vivid in her memory. The fact that her subconcious remembered Jungkook’s anatomy in detail didn’t help either. Of course, he had changed over the years, he was more muscular and had those long wavy hair now. Not to mention how good he looked with his scrubs on. Twelve hours of internship and he already had all the female staff at his feet.

     Jungkook was sexy as hell. There was no denying it.

     But he was also smart and kind and funny. He was the complete package.

     And he was taken. Hell, she was taken too. She shouldn’t be thinking about her ex without his shirt on. Especially when on the other side of the phone the most perfect boyfriend was trying hard to get her attention.

     “A little bit distracted today?” Hoseok asked with a sigh. 

     “I’m sorry.” she run a hand through her hair feeling terrible. “Just tired.”

     “I get it.” she felt him smiling over the phone. “Do you want me to call you later?”

     “Do you mind? I think I’m gonna nap for another hour.”

     “Sure. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” he said sweetly.

     “Love you too.”

     Now alone again in her room, Y/N felt even worse than before. Not only she felt relieved that he had hung up, but she also wasn’t sure if she meant those last words anymore. 

     She wanted to go for a run to clear her mind but chances were that she would meet Jungkook, the very one he wanted to avoid. The only thing she could do was lay on her bed, snuggle under the covers and feel like the most terrible person on earth.

     When did this started? When did she started feeling this way for Jungkook again? Did she really had feelings for him? Or was it only the fact that Hoseok was far away?

     Still it didn’t excuse her for feeling the way she did. If she truly loved him she wouldn’t be thinking of another man even if they lived two continents apart. Right?

     So she didn’t love Hoseok anymore? But she did, she could feel it. She cared for him a lot, she still cheered for him, she still liked his attentions. Then what was it? Why wasn’t it enough?

     And why Jungkook of all the people? Maybe it was because he saw him everyday, maybe if she didn’t see him as much she wouldn’t have developed this feelings.

     But really, what feelings were they anyway? She wasn’t in love with him, of that she was sure of. Hoseok was the one she loved, yes. Hoseok who was perfect. Where would she find another man like him? But yet again, Jungkook was perfect too. She had tested it.

     Except for the fact that he had cheated on her. Of course, it was a long time ago and she wasn’t even sure that she could call it cheating. They were barely at the beggining of their relationship back then, their very short relationship.

     What was she even thinking of? Leaving Hoseok for him? That was stupid. Why would she trade a perfect love story with the uncertainty of a college flirt with a tragic ending? Besides, Jungkook never showed any interest towards her since she had come back.

     Because he has a girlfriend.

     He probably loved her to bits too. 

     Yet ... he never talked about her. Hell, Y/N never even saw her once. Why would he never invite her during their group dates? Not even once. That was strange. Come to think of it, Y/N didn’t even know how she looked like. All she knew about her was that she was a professional dancer like Hoseok. That’s it. She never bothered to ask, truth be told.

     Because I don’t care.

     Y/N wanted to silence the voice inside her head. She felt like screaming. 

     She was with someone, for god’s sake. Someone that loved her, that made her feel loved. She didn’t need this.

     Maybe it was only a sexual attraction. Right, maybe that was it. It was impossible to not be attracted to Jungkook after all, she was only human. 

     She was in sex withdrawal and Jungkook happened to be the most fuckable living being that her restless mind could think of.

     Sexual attraction. Yes. That explained everything.

     She trew the covers over her head, hiding from the world, and started repeating the same phrase all over again, like a mantra.

     “I’m in love with Hoseok. I’m in love with Hoseok.”

     To celebrate surviving their first week as interns, Y/N and Jungkook had decided to invite their friends to a night out. 

     Y/N decided to dress up for the occasion: there was no use in denying it anymore, she wanted to attract Jungkook’s attention. So she put on her favorite summer dress, styled her hair and put on some red lipstick. After days of self pity, she had finally surrendered to the idea that, for one reason or another, she was attracted to the man. Physically speaking, of course. Nothing more than that. 

     What she couldn’t explain was why it never happened before. Never with this intensity, anyways. She had met a lot of men during the past years, undoubtebly handsome men too. Yet not one of them had caused such a reaction from her. What was so special about Jungkook?

     Despite still feeling guilty about it, a part of her was now convinced that there was nothing wrong with feeling a little attracted to someone. She was only human, after all. She wasn’t a saint. Therefore what was the harm in having a little fun?

     Ever the competitive one, Y/N wanted to test Jungkook. She couldn’t believe that she was the only one feeling this connection. She wanted to provoke a reaction from him, nothing major, just enough to not make her feel alone in her misery. It was stupid, she was aware of it, and morally wrong.

     It’s not like I want to have sex with him, she thought wearing her black leather jacket and grabbing her keys.

     Well, she did want to. But she wasn’t actually going to do it.

     She respected Hoseok, loved him. Cheating was not part of her plans.

     The walk to the pub was a quick one since it was only a few blocks away from her apartment. She was the last one to arrived, which she sort of planned on happening: she wanted to make an entrance. She had imagine the scene in her head while she was taking a shower. 

     Her friends would be waiting for her outside the bar and she would walk confidently towards them. Jungkook would be standing there looking all handsome and breathtaking, he would look up - at 0.5x speed - only to see her looking all gorgeous and sexy as well. His jaw would drop, his heart would skip a bit. They would look into each others eyes intensely, exchanging a silent message between them. And then ...

     And then that was it. That was how far she let her imagination go.

     To some extent, what she pictured did come true. Jungkook was all handsome and breathtaking, she was all gorgeous and sexy, but there was no jaw dropping and no silent message. On the contrary the man averted his gaze almost immediately upon seeing her.

     “Hey, sexy.” Jimin teased her, putting an arm around her shoulder. “Did it hurt?”

     Y/N frowned at him. “When I fell from heaven?” she pretended to vomit. “Does that even work?”

     The man laughed, squeezing her affectionately against his body. “Guess not. Not that I never needed pickup lines to get the ladies to fall in love with me.” he winked at her.

     Y/N rolled her eyes before greeting the others. Jungkook smiled tightly at her. She returned, a little bit confused.

     For the first part of the evening, the boy acted awfully strange towards Y/N, in such a way that was impossible for her to ignore it. He would avoid her eyes at all cost, even avoid her touch - which was nearly impossible since they were sitting next to each other in a too small booth for the seven of them. Y/N was unable to relax feeling him so tense and found herself pulling away from his body as well, to the point that she was practically glued to Ashley’s arm. To ease her nerves a little she started drinking her cocktail way too quickly, ignorant of the fact that Jungkook was unknowingly matching her pace.

     It took them a first round of shots to be finally able to loosen up. Laughing hard to one of Jimin’s stupid jokes she found herself leaning her head against Jungkook’s bicep, and before she knew it she felt his hand over her naked thigh, just a few inches above her knee. He didn’t seem to have done it on purpose since he had his head thrown back in laughter as well. Nevertheless, Y/N had to try hard to act as normally as possible and pretend like feeling the heat of his skin on hers was nothing to make a fuss about.

     Jungkook didn’t remove his hand from its place even after the conversation had shifted. On the contrary, he started drawing little circles on her inner thigh, slow and featherlike. Y/N’s heart hadn’t stopped hammering for minutes now, every nerve in her body electrified by his touch. This skinship was something she did not expect, it caught her completely off guard. As far as she knew, Jungkook had never proven any interest towards her, beside those of friendship. 

     She tried reliving the moments they had spent together over the past few months. Did she miss something? She didn’t, did she? This was the first time he acted like this. Was it because of the alcohol? They had been drunk together before and nothing had happened. Was it the dress then? But he had seen her in shorts multiple times.

     She was still in the middle of the umpteenth internal battle when Jungkook suddenly took his hand off her. Y/N’s eyes looked up at him instinctively. He too was looking at her, slightly smiling. She tried to read the meaning behind it. What kind of smile was that? Was he angry that she didn’t reciprocate his touch? Or happy that she didn’t push him away?

     Then Taehyung called Jungkook’s name and he had to divert his eyes from her to listen to what he was saying.

     Looking at his profile, Y/N thought hard on what to do next. She missed his touch already, she wanted more. Should she put a hand on his jean-clothed thigh too? Maybe she could lean her arm against his, trying to act as naturally as possible. She didn’t want the others to catch up to her inner turmoil.

     And then she noticed his hand, the same one that was on her skin just a few moments ago. It was laying between them on the wooden bench, his long fingers holding its edge. She stared at it for a minute. Did he left it there intentionally? She didn’t care.

     She looked up, pretending to listen to whatever conversation the other’s were having, and grabbed a few chips for good measure. Then, as carefully as possible, she put her hand next to his, their pinkies brushing against each other. Just that movement and heart went stammering again, she couldn’t here a word the others were saying, her eyes unfocused. She could feel the electricity running between them and wondered if Jungkook was feeling it too. 

     She took a deep breath trough her nose, smiling to Namjoon who seemed to be speaking to her, and put her finger across his. Just a finger. With her lip beneath her teeth she waited, counting to three inside her head. If he moved away she could still pretend she didn’t do it on purpose, that it was a complete accident. Yet Jungkook didn’t move. He kept his head turned away from her, still listening to Taehyung. With his other hand he grabbed the bottle of his beer and took a large sip from it. 

     What happened next made Y/N blush. Even if it was such a simple thing, making her feel like a kindergarten kid.

     Jungkook carefully freed his pinkie from hers and then, with a sweetness that Y/N didn’t expect, intertwined their last two fingers together. 

     If it made any sense, this felt better than his whole hand on her thigh. Y/N smiled. She didn’t know what this whole thing meant, yet she didn’t care. She would think about it tomorrow.

     They stayed in that position for the rest of the evening, playing with each other’s digits and caressing each other’s skin. Neither of them moved their hands from under the table, both enjoying the secrecy.

     Y/N believed they did a good job in hiding it too. But it turned out she was wrong.

     At the end of the night, when the time to go home came, the group hug each other goodnight. It was then that Y/N realized that the moment to finally face the reality had come.

     As Ashley hugged her close she heard her whispering in her ear. “You. Me. Breakfast tomorrow. You have some explaining to do.”

     Y/N dreaded this moment. One thing was to fantasize on her own, having her best friend looking at her with inquisitive eyes was another matter altogether.

     Ashley showed herself at her doorstep early in the morning, true to her threath. She had brought with her breakfast and a very intimidating stare that made Y/N quiver.

     “Are you cheating on Hoseok?” she had said once they were both sitted at the kitchen table. Her straightforwardness almost made Y/N choke on her coffee. “Not here to judge, of course.” she added. 

     “I’m not!” Y/N exclaimed defensively. “I’m not cheating on Hoseok.”

     The other girl arched an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Then what was going on between you and Jungkook yesterday?”

     “You saw that?” Y/N grimaced.

     “Of course, I saw that.” Ashley laughed. “Taehyung did too.”

     Y/N felt her eyes widen. “Taehyung?!”

     “I think you didn’t noticed,” her friend teased her. “But we were literally glued to eachother inside that booth. If I could see you getting sneaky under the table, he could too. He was sitting next to Jungkook after all.”

      Y/N moaned in pain, putting her hands over her face. “Are you sure he saw it too?”

      “Positive.” she nodded. “We caught each others eyes.”

      “Great. Now it will only be a matter of days before he tells Jimin and we all know how much Jimin likes to gossip, he’ll tell Yoongi for sure.” she cried. “Please tell me you didn’t tell Namjoon.”

     “Y/N ...” Ashley said tentatively. “We’ve actually known for weeks. We have a group chat.”

     Y/N blinked a couple of times, she wasn’t sure she heard her right. “You have a what?”

     “A group chat.” the other repeated as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “Seokjin is in it too.”

     “Seokjin what?!” she exclaimed flabbergasted.

     Ashley nodded, entertained by her friend’s reaction. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but we are actually taking bets. We’ve done it back in college too, come to think of it.”

     “Wait, wait, wait.” Y/N put her hands forward. “This is way too much information. You’re betting on what exactly?”

     “On whether you leave each other’s partners by the end of the summer.” she shrugged. “Yoongi is convinced you won’t be able to resist, too much sexual tension. I disagree, I know you better than he does. You’re not the type of person to go break someone’s trust.”

      “Thank you, I guess.” Y/N felt her head spinning. “Is this why you asked me whether I cheated on Hoseok or not? Because you made a bet on it?”

     “Are you mad?” Ashley asked.

     Y/N thought about it for a moment, before releasing a long breath. “I think I’m supposed to be. The truth is that my emotions have been all over the place this past month.”

     “You want to talk about it? Jokes aside, I’m really here to help.”

     The other smiled at her friend. Perhaps it was best to let it out, after all, instead of keeping it all in. “I can’t explain what I’m feeling, Ash.” Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “It’s totally stupid, I know. Completely foolish. Definitely useless. I’m with the most perfect guy, literally the most perfect guy in the whole world. He’s sweet, smart, funny and attentive. He makes me feel loved, he makes sure I don’t need for anything. He’s the perfect man to build a family and grew old with. I know I love him, I never doubted it, not even once.” she rumbled on. “But when I’m with him ... I feel this thing. It’s like a pull, yes, like there’s a magnet between us. He just does something to me, he messes with my head. And I’ve been trying to fight it but it’s so ... I swear if I wasn’t with someone else I would have already jumped him.” she confessed all of a sudden. She never had said it out loud. “Oh my god, what did I just say? Oh my God.” Y/N gasped hiding her face behind her hands. “This is so stupid. I’m a terrible person. This is our secret, okay? Promise me to not tell Namjoon! Shit, never tell my brother either!”

     “Y/N, they already know.” Ashley smiled at her sadly. “We’ve been watching you guys gravitate around each other for a while now.”

     The other girl furrowed her brows. “We do?”

     Ashley nodded fervently. “You said it yourself, you’re like too magnets. You might not have been conscious about it, but it’s always been there.”

     “How can that be?” Y/N questioned. “Yesterday was the first time anything happened between us.”

     “What? Holding hands under the table?” Ashley giggled. “That’s nothing compared to the way you look at each other. Haven’t you noticed the way he has to force himself to look away from you sometimes? Or even the way you guys joke around, how you tease each other.”

     Y/N didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t entirely sure she knew what her friend was talking about. “He looks at me?” she repeated dumbfoundedly.

     “He does.” Ashley nodded once more. “A lot actually.”

     “How come I’ve never noticed?” she murmured.

     “I don’t know. Maybe you guys were too caught up in pretending to be just friends to realize what was really happening. You do it too, you know? Look at him with hearts in your eyes.” she clarified.

     “I don’t look at him with hearts in my eyes.” Y/N exclaimed slightly offended.

     “Maybe not at first.’ Ashley conceded. “But tell you what, I’m able to exactly tell you when you stopped thinking about him as only your friend.”

     Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. “Please enlighten me because I still have to figure that out myself.”

     “Last May you run into him one morning while jogging, remember? I do because you spent a whole hour talking about it on the phone.”

     “I did not!” she cried out.

     “Yes, you did!” Ashley exclaimed pointing a finger at her. “You called me saying you wanted to catch up but the truth is you needed to talk to someone about your feelings for him. Even if you weren’t aware of it yet. You were all ‘Jungkook is so this’, ‘Jungkook is so that’, ‘I’m so happy that we’re friends again’ and bla bla bla.” she mimicked her friend. “That’s the moment the things shifted.” she added fervently. “That’s when you stopped being friends.”

     Y/N looked at her with wide eyes, trying to process what she had said. She tried remembering that phone call, but she couldn’t. Yes, she remembered calling Ashley as soon as she had gone home, but she couldn’t recall what their conversation had been about. “I - Are you sure I did that?”

     “I am.” Ashley nodded. “If its of any consolation, Jungkook did the same with Yoongi. He created the group chat right after.”

     “Yoongi created the group chat?” Y/N asked taken by surprise.

     The other girl giggled. “I think he might be your number one fan, actually.”

     “So what are you guys saying? That we’re in love with each other?” Y/N mumbled after a moment of silence.

     “You tell me.” Ashley replied sweetly, understanding her friends struggle.

     “I love Hoseok.” Y/N responded automatically.

     “But are you in love with him?”

     That seemed such a stupid question at first, didn’t she just answer that? But then she spotted the difference. Being in love. Over the past month she had repeated over and over again that she loved Hoseok. Of course she did, she cared for him. But was she still in love with him?

     “He’s perfect.” she whispered to herself.

     Ashley smiled at her sadly. “This is going to sound so cliche ... He might be perfect, but maybe he is not perfect for you.”

     Y/N felt tears prickling the corner of her eyes, her heart slowly coming to terms with the reality. “He’s done so much for me.”

     “I know.”

     “He’s such a great man.” she cried. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

     “Of course, not.” Ashley replied, taking her friends hand in hers. “But neither did you, Y/N There’s nothing wrong in falling out of love with someone.”

     At her words Y/N started sobbing, she had finally stopped denying what deep down she already knew. She was overwhelmed by the pain, she had never felt anything like it. The idea of hurting someone as precious as Hoseok killed her, her heart aching in such a way that it took her breath away. Ashley stood up to hug her friend from behind, feeling her body shake against hers.

     “What am I going to do?” she sobbed.

     “I think you already know.”

     The days after her conversation with Ashley weren’t easy for Y/N. She had spent the rest of the day crying her eyes out, laying on her bed. Her friend had stayed with her until she fell asleep from the exhaustion and left only because she had to go to work. As soon as she was outside the apartment she called her boyfriend and Y/N’s long time best friend, Namjoon, who didn’t think twice before asking Seokjin the spare keys for his sister’s apartment.

     He stayed with her for the rest of the afternoon, giving her words of comfort and understanding, cooling her some ramen and making sure that she drank some water. He had never saw his friend like this, not even Jungkook’s break up had had this effect on her. It was probably the fact that she had anger on her side that time, she had a reason to hate him and that had helped her to move on. This time was different, Hoseok didn’t cheat on her, he didn’t lie to her, he didn’t do anything wrong. He had been the perfect partner despite the distance. 

     Namjoon had no idea what it felt like, discovering that you didn’t love someone anymore, someone with whom you’ve made lifetime plans with, someone you thought would always be by your side. But looking at her best friend, staring far away in the distance with her eyes all red from crying, he hoped he would never have the chance to discover it.

     Y/N had to gather all of her courage and energy to be able to go to work the next morning. The last person she wanted to see that moment was Jungkook, a part of her blamed him for everything: if they hadn’t met again, nothing of this would have happened, she would be still happily in love with Hoseok. 

     Of course, she knew he was only a scapegoat.

     Unfortunately, she had forgotten that Jungkook had promised to pick her up every morning to go to work together, so she had to meet him before she was ready.

     The ride to the hospital was silent and uncomfortable. The boy had noticed her swollen eyes immediately and thought better than ask her about it. Y/N didn’t even try to pretend that she was fine, she didn’t care if he was curious, if he was worried.

     They didn’t speak to each other for the rest of the day, Y/N made sure that she was always as far from him as possible. All she wanted was to stay away from the man with whom she supposedly fell in love with.

     That day turned out to be the worst day of her life. With everything that was going on inside her head, she was too distracted. She wasn’t able to answer to half of Dr. Park’s questions, had to rewrite some of the charts and lost herself on the fourth floor. To make things worst, Y/N had to lead her first code blue, the patient didn’t make it and she had to question her actions for the rest of the shift, wondering if she could have done something more.

     The rest of the week didn’t turn out to be any better. She kept avoiding Jungkook who had now gone from worried for her to angry with her. He had tried to start a conversation, trying to understand why was she so mad at him because, really, he had no clue. 

     Jungkook wasn’t the only one she was treating with the cold shoulder. She had started ignoring Hoseok’s calls too, feeling guilty but not yet ready to do what she knew she had to do. She would send him short messages, making excuses and promising to call him back. She was being coward and she knew it.

     Finding the courage to break up with someone wasn’t easy at all. Especially when that someone was Hoseok, the definition of good.

     Her feelings for Jungkook had taken a back seat. She wasn’t even sure yet that what she felt for him was actually love. And the thought that she was breaking someone’s heart for something so uncertain pained her even more. 

     But nevertheless, what mattered was she couldn’t be with someone she didn’t love anymore, because no matter how painful it was, it wasn’t fair to neither of them.

     At the end of the third week of July, eight days after Y/N had started acting strange around him, Jungkook had finally had enough. 

     She was walking towards the intern’s locker room, ready for her night shift, when she felt a hand grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her throughout the corridor.

     “Jungkook!” she shouted, recognizing his black hair and broad shoulders. “What are you doing?!”

     “I’m kidnapping you.” he answered sternly pushing her inside a small deposit room and closing the door behind him, blocking her only way out. “What the hell is going on?”

     Y/N took an instinctive step back, looking away from him. “Nothing’s going on.”

     “Don’t play stupid.” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “We both know that you’re not stupid. You’ve been awfully distracted this week, you haven’t been answering any of our messages on the group chat and ...” he took a deep breath. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

     “I wasn’t avoiding you.” she lied poorly.

     “Please. Y/N. Tell me what’s going on.” he pleaded taking a step towards her and reaching out his hand to take hers. . She took another one back, surprising him. The last time she had avoided his touch was four years ago. It was a painful memory for both of them. “Is it ... Is it because of the other night? At the pub?” he murmured hesitantly. “Because if that’s what has been on your mind ... We can forget about it if you want.” he said slowly.

     Y/N bit her lip. She wasn’t ready for this conversation yet. “Jungkook ...” she sighed. “It’s not that.” Not entirely, at least, she thought.

     “What is it then?” he asked softly. He tried reaching out for her hand again. This time she couldn’t find it in her to deny him. 

     She had taken his hand a thousand times before when they were together, she always enjoyed how small it looked compared to his, yet this time it felt different.

     I think I’m in love with you, she wanted to tell him. But you have Lisa and I have Hoseok. I’m going to break his heart for you.

     Y/N closed her eyes, trying to push the tears away and trying to ignore the way Jungkook was looking at her, like he would give his right hand to make her smile again. Was this the look Ashley was talking about? Had he really been looking at her like this? How could she miss it?

     “I broke up with Lisa.” Jungkook suddenly confessed making her open her eyes in shock.

     “You what ...” she gasped.

     He squeezed her hand tighter, a determined yet fearful look on his face. “I broke up with Lisa.” he repeated. “Two weeks ago. I haven’t told anyone.”

     Y/N released a shaky breath. “W-why?”

     “Because I didn’t love her anymore.” he said. “I think I never really loved her.”

     Y/N’s mind went blank. She looked down on her shoes, she could feel herself trembling. “Why are you telling me this?”

     Jungkook took a deep breath, intertwining their fingers together. “You know why.”

     Her heart started hammering inside her chest like crazy, her ears ringing.

     What was he saying? That he left her for her? Why? Where was this coming from? What was she supposed to do now? Should he tell him that she was thinking about living Hoseok, too? What would that imply? That they should start dating each other again? She wasn’t sure she was ready for that. She had barely come to terms with all of her feelings. This was too much all of a sudden.

     “The portrait,” he started saying, his voice trembling. “Your portrait, I’ve kept it because I couldn’t find the courage to throw it away, even after all this years. Y/N ... It might have been easy for you to forget me back then, but it wasn’t for me. It still isn’t.” he confessed. “You weren’t a fling for me. I fell in love with you. Everyday since that morning four years ago, I’ve regretted letting you go. Finding you again, being friends with you again, is the greatest thing that happened to me since then. But it’s not enough for me. Not anymore.”

     Y/N felt paralized, she didn’t know what to say. She just looked at him with her mouth half open, his words repeating themselves inside her head.

     “Please say something.” Jungkook pleaded once again.

     Even in a moment like this Y/N couldn’t help herself but to find him handsome. His brows where furrowed in worry, his big doe eyes shone despite the dim light. Jungkook was beautiful and he had just confessed his feelings for her. Yet she couldn’t speak, as if she didn’t know how. 

     She watched defiantly as his expression changed with every second passing in silence. She saw the exact moment all the hope left his body  but still didn’t anything to stop it.

     “Okay.” he murmured in surrender, slowly letting go of her hand. “Okay.”

     He turned her back at her, ready to leave. She could have stopped him, he had given her one last chance to, yet she didn’t.

     And so he left, leaving her alone inside the deposit room.

     It took Y/N three whole days to understand fully what had happened. It took both Ashley’s and Namjoon’s scolding for her to realize that she was about to ruin something beautiful, again. It took Yoongi’s message reading ‘Jungkook told us what happened. Whatever you decide to do, please don’t close us out again. We love you, all three of us.’ for her to decide that enough was enough. It took Seokjin banging like a mad man on her apartment door for her to finally gather the courage to do what she needed to do.

     It took Y/N a total of eleven days since her conversation with Ashley to finally break up with Hoseok.

     “Hey.” he had responded at the fifth ring.

     “Hey.”

     They both sighed on each other’s side of the call. A few moments of silence followed as they listened to each other’s breathing.

     “Y/N ...” he sighed.

     “Yeah?”

     “I’m supposed to fly there in two days.” 

     She closed her eyes, the first tears falling down her cheeks.

     “I know.”

     A pause. “Do you want me to?”

     “I don’t know.” she replied weakly. “Do you?”

     “I don’t know.” he repeated. She heard him taking a deep breath. “It’s over, isn’t?”

     Y/N bit her tongue, trying to suppress a sob. “You’re perfect, Hoseok.” she cried. “We were perfect together.”

     “We were.” he cried as well.

     “I’m so sorry.”

     “Me too.”

     They listened to each other’s cries in silence, feeling the gravity of the moment.

     “I never resigned from the dance studio.” Hoseok suddenly confessed with a broken voice. “I never bought the plane ticket.”

     Y/N didn’t feel angry as she was supposed to, instead she felt relieved. She smiled through the tears. “That’s your place.” 

     “It is.” he agreed sadly. “Y/N?”

     “Yeah?”

     Another pause. “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore.”

     Y/N felt her heart squeeze in pain. She put a hand over her chest, trying to ease the pain and started crying even harder. He felt the same. 

     “I think I’m in love with Jungkook.” she confessed before she could question whether it was right or wrong. Nevertheless she felt a burden lifting from her shoulders once the words came out. She didn’t want anything to be left unsaid between them.

     Hoseok sobbed on the other side of the phone. “I’m not going to ask you if something happened between you two ...”

     “It didn’t!” she interrupted him immediately, she didn’t want him to think that she had disrespected him and their relationship. “I swear.”

     “I’m not going to ask you,” he continued. “Because it wouldn’t change anything.”

     This was it. It was over. Nothing they could say would turn back things around.

     “I really am sorry, Hoseok.”

     “Me too, Y/N.” he said trying to calm down his breathing. “I think I’ve known that it was over for quite some time now, but I’ve been trying to act normal because I thought it was only the distance. I wasn’t brave enough to face the truth.”

     Y/N wanted to laugh: the idea that even in a moment like this the two of them had the same thoughts was sadly ironic.

     “I really thought you were the one, you know?”

     “I thought so too.”

     There was another moment of silence in which the both of them calmed themselves listening to the other’s steady breathing, preparing for the final goodbye.

     “Do you think we could be friends some day?” Y/N asked sincerely curious.

     “Not for some time.” Hoseok smiled.

     She nodded in understanding. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

     “Thank you for being my best supporter.”

     “I still am.” she smiled.

     “I’ll send you the link to the music video.” he joked.

     “I’ll be waiting for it.” she giggled softly.

     They lingered another minute in silence, savoring their last moment as a couple.

     “Goodbye, Hoseok.”

     “Goodbye, Y/N.” he hang up.

     Staring at the screen of her phone she felt one last tear falling. She looked at the flower vase that was sitting on her nightstand. Ashley had gifted it to her the day before.

     “These are daffodils.” her note had read. “They represent rebirth, new beginnings.”

     She smiled.

     A week later Y/N woke up in at 3 a.m. in the morning. She had another dream about Jungkook. She had been having a lot of them lately, some of them innocent, some of them not.

     After her break up she had decided to give herself some needed time to put the pieces of her life back together. Truth be told, everything happened way to fast.

      She told herself that before giving Jungkook an answer she had to be 100% sure that she really wanted to be with him. He deserved that at least. 

     Jungkook, rightfully so after he had lost all hope to be with Y/N again, had started giving the same treatment she had given him a week prior: he avoided her. Those few times she was able to steal a better look at him, Y/N noticed that he looked paler and had dark circles under her eyes. She couldn’t believe that she never saw his feelings for what they really were, Jungkook had the most expressive eyes she ever saw. And she called herself an intelligent person. 

     More than once Y/N had to fight the urge to just grab him from the collar of his scrubs and just kiss the hell out of him and put an end to both of their misery. That would serve a lesson as well to those girls who kept flirting with him everywhere he went.

     That night, at 3 a.m., had woken up from a very vivid dream. A distant memory. Their first kiss. 

     It was New Years Eve and Namjoon had dragged her to this beach party because he wanted to see his crush. There, she run into Jungkook. As the people around them started counting down for midnight, he had taken her hand and had run with her over a hill. With the fireworks exploding behind them he had taken her face in his hands and had kissed her. In the most passionate way.

     Reliving that moment brought chills to her spine and before she could second guess she jumped out of the bed, put on her running shoes and grabbed her house keys.

     She run. She run down the stairs of her building, run around the park until she got to Yoongi and Jungkook’s shared apartment in record time. She took a deep breath and pushed their name on the intercom. Once, twice, three times until Yoongi’s raspy from sleep voice answered.

     “Who the hell is it.”

     “It’s me, Y/N.” she replied a little out of breath. “Open the door.”

     “Y/N?” he exclaimed dumbfounded. “You better have an explaining for this.”

     “I do. Please, open the door. I need to talk to Jungkook.”

     There was a pause before the door finally opened. She climbed the stairs two at a time. Yoongi was already waiting for her, hair all over the place.

     “If you didn’t come here to tell him that you love him I’m going to call the police on you.” he threatened.

     Y/N smiled at him widely before jumping into his arms to give him a quick hug. “You can go back to sleep, Yoongi.”

     Without waiting for his reply she walked briskly towards Jungkook’s bedroom and opened his door quietly. She knew that he was still asleep, not even a cannon ball could wake him up at this hour.

   She tiptoed to his bed and layed beside him under the covers. He was beautiful even in his sleep, with his mouth open and a little bit of snoring. She put an arm around his chest, hugging him and waiting for him to feel her presence. It took him a few seconds.

     He turned to his side and put an arm around her body, engulfing her into his own. “Y/N.” he mumbled, his eyes still closed. “Is this a dream?”

     She smiled, putting a hand on his cheek. Enough waiting. Enough denying. “It’s not.”

     “You’re really here?” he asked with a doubtful and cute pout.

     “I am.” she whispered back. She snuggled closer to him.

     Jungkook then slowly opened his eyes only to find Y/N’s staring right back at him. His breath hitched. “Y/N.”

     “Hey.”

     “What are you doing here?”

     “What do you think?’ she smiled caressing the skin under his eye with her thumb. She wanted to kiss away those dark circles.

     “I’m not fully awake yet.” he admitted making her laugh.

     “Go back to sleep then.”

     “You’re staying here?” he asked his eyes already half closed.

     “Do you want me to leave?”

     He shook his head. “No. Stay right here.” he sighed contentedly as she snuggled closer, their nose grazing one another. “I haven’t slept well for days.”

     “I know.” she whispered, her breath fanning over his lips.

     “I’m really tired.” he whispered back inching closer.

     “I know.” she repeated.

     “I might be having hallucinations.”

     Y/N sighed, slightly annoyed. “You’re not.”

     “So if I kiss you, you’re not gonna disappear?”

     “I’m not.”

     “Good.” and then his lips were on hers.

     It was slow and gentle. They savored each other’s taste, long forgotten but still familiar. They trembled in each other’s arms and breathed the other’s breath. It was just as magical as Y/N’s dream. Just as magical as the first time.

     Once they separated she heard Jungkook sigh once again. “Please tell me you left Hoseok.” he pleaded, his voice unsteady.

     “I did.” she assured him hiding her face in the curve oh his neck. He smelled like beautiful memories.

     Jungkook stayed silent for a minute, hugging her closer to him, if that was even possible. “We have a lot to talk about.”

     “I know.” she nodded. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow at breakfast.”

     “Ice americano, grande with two extra shots?”

     She smiled against his skin. “And a chocolate muffin.”

     They listened to each other’s breathing until they started falling asleep once more. Both happier that they’ve ever been over the past month.

     “Y/N?” Jungkook suddenly called her.

     “Mmmh?” she mumbled half in the arms of Morpheus.

     “If this is your way of saying you love me too, it’s a little bit creepy.”

     “Shut up.”

[neesieiumz]

All The Stars {Tamaki Amajiki x Reader} - Chapter 5

Summary: Tamaki has been a sidekick at Fatgum’s agency for four years, going up in ranks and becoming Fatgum’s right-hand man. That’s when a transfer hero comes in, Y/n L/n. Born and raised in Southern America, Y/n comes to Japan for a fresh start and interviews and aces Fatgum’s interview. Partnered with Tamaki and Fatgum to get used to Japan, Tamaki finds her interesting, and can’t help the fact he wants to get to know her. As Y/n’s past slowly gets revealed, will her demons allow the two of them to prosper? 

A/N: I KNOW, I KNOW I’M LATE!! But I really wanted to proofread this cause I don’t know if I’m setting this up as I want to... I want this story to last and I wanted it to grow which caused me to write over 4k words, which makes this the longest chapter yet, this is how long I want to keep my chapters so it may take longer to get them out, so I wanted make sure I have everything set up so without further ado...

Word count: 4k words

Chapter 5 - A new chapter

“Welcome everyone, take a seat and we can get started.” Fat gum greeted everyone as all the major pro heroes in the cities filed in and took their seats. 

Fat gum took a deep breath before turning to Tamaki and Kirishima who were the two sidekicks he brought to the meeting. 

“We’re here to discuss the arising group, who call themselves Resist, my two sidekicks Red Riot and Suneater can catch everyone up to speed. 

Tamaki looked at Kirishima who nodded and turned in the PowerPoint they both slaved over the last two weeks. 

“We’ve been noticing a rise in flame and explosive based attacks all across Japan. They usually happen in places like shopping malls, college buildings, places where a lot of people convene in a confined space basically,” Kirk started to explain, pressing the button to bring up different reports of buildings on fire which included Tadashi Shopping Center. 

Tamaki took over the presentation at this point, “we’ve noticed that in the reports we receive about these attacks, all of the opposition had these jackets with a symbol either etched on the back and the chest. We believe this is what Resist uses to distinguish themselves from other villains, and anything with this type of organization needs to be squashed before it can grow. We’ve seen this type of thing before,” He explained before narrowing his eyes. 

“We don’t want a repeat of what happened those years ago. It’s taken a long time to rebuild hero society and it’s still on the rocks.” Tamaki finished his part before looking back at Kirishima to continue. 

“Since we know what symbol they use to distinguish themselves, that allows us to see when they pop up in cities and how many times they do as well. From what I found out, they never popped up in cities more than two times except for one, here in Esuha city.” Using the IPad, he flipped through the city and a map of Japan popped up. 

In all the other major cities, they had either a one or a two except for one, Esuha City which had a nine beside its point.”

“Oh wow,” a hero mumbled.

“Nine attacks? That’s crazy,” a female hero said. 

Tamaki started to speak, “with this, we hypothesize that Resist’s HQ is somewhere in the underground of Esuha city. This is the only evidence that supports this, and will be one of the main objectives of this meeting, figuring out where they reside so we can take them down.” 

“Wait, wait, wait, so we don’t know where they are?” A pro hero, Nova, asked, looking at Tamaki with skepticism. 

Kirishima stepped in, noticing Tamaki beginning to crack, needing a few minutes to collect himself again, he can only go so long before his thoughts intrude. 

“We only have an idea, the Fat Gum Agency already has heroes and sidekicks staking out possible locations where they might be but there’s always a chance that this lead may lead us nowhere. This leads us to one of the purposes of this meeting!” Kirishima ended with a smile and a thumbs up. 

His contagious smile made Tamaki feel a little better and he stood a little straighter and tapped the IPad to bring up the next slide. 

“The way they’ve been attacking reminds me a lot of The League of Villains and we all know how they’ve left a stain in Japan’s trust in Hero Society. Some of us in this room knew how hard it was fighting them,” Tamaki lamented, looking over at his partner and they both slightly nodded.

“We lost a lot of lives and a lot of good heroes with them, and we were lucky to prevail from that fight but everything changed with that fight. The fragile state that All Might left the country was crushed and the public hated most heroes. We need to squash any threat to what we’ve built over the years and that starts with Resist,”

 Kirishima and Tamaki remember the fight with the LOV, the screams, the blood, the bodies, the cleanup, the tears, waking up in a cold sweat for months on end. Tamaki remembers lifting some debris and seeing a bloody Barbie doll and throwing up in an empty alleyway. 

Both of them did not want to go through that again. 

“Okay, we get it, but honestly I just don’t see how this “Resist” organization is any trouble. They’re just blowing up buildings without any objective.” Another random local hero spits out, leaning against his arm. 

“You idiot!” 

Kirishima and Tamaki slightly smirked at who spoke up. The six-foot Explosion Hero: Ground Zero stood up, glaring at the man who just spoke up. 

“The League of Villains were like that too, just destroying with no objective, then they found one and that’s why heroes are looked at as fucking trash!” Katsuki Bakugou spoke up, slamming his hand on the desk. 

After Best Jeanist retired, he entrusted his agency to the loud ash blond man which shocked the rest of his sidekicks. Since then, he’s been his hero, signing on Denki and Mina after they had no agency to take them in. 

“I would know, me and Shitty hair,” he said, pointing at Kirishima, “we were there for a lot of them. We were also there when they found a purpose and that’s when they took me when I was still the first year. We underestimate them as we did with LOV and it could grow into a situation that we don’t want to see! Shouldn’t you fucking know this shit already?!” Bakugou finished before sitting down after Denki tried to calm him down. 

“Calm down Ground Zero, don't want you popping a blood vessel,” a cold voice called and everyone’s attention turned to the Half and Half hero who took over his Father’s agency once he graduated. 

After his father’s career was shot after the fight, his agency fell apart since Todoroki was still a first year. But as soon as he graduated, most of his father’s old sidekicks came back to him and his father even left the building to him. Deciding that he only knew his father since he interned and did his work-study there, he decided to revamp the agency as his own and remove the bad memories since then. 

“Come on guys, let’s not fight, this is a serious matter,” came the nervous voice Deku, the one everyone was looking at as the one who would replace All Might. 

He was the only one out of his class to start a hero agency right out of high school without having to inherit it, the rest of them becoming sidekicks. Izuku Midoriya replaced Hawks as the youngest pro hero ever. 

“Shut up Deku!” 

Kiri shook his head and facepalmed at his alumni antics. 

“Somethings don’t change, huh Kirishima?” Tamaki whispers to him which made the Unbreakable hero sigh and nod. 

“Alright!! Let’s get back on topic!” Kirishima yelled, clapping his hands to get the attention of his old classmates. 

“Sorry Red.”

“My apologies.”

“Tch, whatever Shitty Hair.”

Kirishima let out a breath of relief before looking over at Fat gum to take over the rest of the meeting. Fat gum nodded before smirking and rubbing his hens together. 

“Let’s get started.”

***

Tamaki was ready to go home. Everyone was arguing about the best next steps to take to defeat this new organization and so far, no one was agreeing. Some wanted to start their investigations in their cities but some wanted to blow up every building until the “Resist Turds” showed themselves so we could kill them. 

Tamaki sighed as he slouched in his chair, listening to his boss and other pro heroes argue about their next move. 

“We can’t ignore this issue anymore, but that doesn’t mean we lose morals when it comes to this. Heroes and the public still have a rocky relationship and we can’t get into anything rash!” 

“What?!? What’s waiting? I say we find them right now and smoke them out!” 

“You haven’t changed at all.”

Tamaki looked over to the clock and noticed it was getting real close to 3:00 pm, they’ve been here for almost 2 hours and some of these hero’s had long trips to get to. Tamaki tapped Kirishima and Gat gum and showed them the time. Fat gum slammed his hands against the desk before standing up, effectively silencing the room of arguing heroes. 

“We need to decide before we get overtime and something happens in your cities. So what’s our verdict, because this isn’t the only meeting we’ll have, we’ll have more in the future that we need to prepare for,” Fat gum said. 

Everyone refused to look at each other in the eye, that was before Deku decided to speak up. 

“If so many, I believe that their HQ could be possibly located here end think that the Fat Gum Agency should focus all resources in finding said hideout, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of us shouldn’t look for clues,” He said, pointing to the screen. 

“For those whose cities that were only hit once, keep an extra eye out if they ever come back. Those cities who were hit twice, you all should go back to where they hit you and see if they left behind any clues. They aren’t as organized right now so now’s the time to stop them and give the public something to believe in again!” 

And just like that, like the future Number One Hero he was destined to be, he raised everyone’s spirits in this new mission. To eradicate the Resist before they gain a name as big as LOV.

Y/n sighed as she walked in the building, headphones blasting a Megan song. She waved hi to the receptionist before turning the corner and jogging to her office. Sipping in her She opened the door and turned the light to reveal her office. She’s been so busy with the rise of villains since the two months she’s been here, that she hasn’t had a chance to finally decorate her office the way she’s wanted to. She paused her music and pulled out her headphones to be able to take a better look at her workspace. 

It had a window in the right wall of the room and her desk right in front of, facing the front of the room. The walls were bare and painted white and the room littered with unopened boxes from things she ordered. She looked down at the bag of decorations she recently bought to complete the rest and smiled. 

“Alright, I got 2 hours before the meeting with Fatgum and the other heroes. I better finish this before then,” she mumbled to herself before walking over to the biggest Amazon box. 

She turned on her speaker and connected them to her phone before continuing the song she was listening to while she was walking in the agency. 

’Simon says, put your hands on hips’

She rapped along the song under her breath as she cut open the box that was her storage shelf. As she was pulling the wrapped contents, a knock sounded off from her door. It was so quiet that she almost couldn’t hear over her music. She lowered the volume before opening her door. 

Standing outside of it was Tamaki who was dressed in very casual clothes, a pair of jeans, and a white tee shirt. Y/n stood there surprised, not expecting the Manifest hero to stand outside her door. Last she heard of him, he was working with Fat gum with a major mission. But that's what she heard. 

“Amajiki-san! This is a surprise? What brings you here?” 

Tamaki jumped at her sudden answer but collected himself, “I have something to talk to you and Aoi-san, is he here?” 

Y/n shook her head, stepping out the way for him to allow him inside her office.

“Today’s both of our days off, he went to see his mom and I decided to use this to come in to finally set up my office after two months of being here!”

“No, no it's my fault, I should have contacted you before I came over,” he shook his hands in front of his face. 

She waved him off, “It’s okay, I wasn’t doing anything important. So what’s going on?” 

She hopped on her desk and sat down and gestured for Tamaki to come closer. Tamaki hesitated to say anything, but time was of the essence and Fatgum didn’t tell Tamaki that the pair had the day off. He was about to start to speak but he looked around the room and noticed different boxes scattered around the room and looked back at Y/n who was bending down to pick up tape she threw around the room. Tamaki’s ears turned red and he quickly looked away right as she stood up. 

“Sorry it’s a mess,” she huffed, balling up the tape, “I wasn’t expecting for me to have any guests.”

He waved her off, “no it’s fine? What’s with all the boxes anyway?”

Y/n walked over to the biggest box and turned it around to show the picture of her bookcase shelf which still wasn’t open. Tamaki saw this and looked around and saw other office supplies and decorations still wrapped in plastic and packing peanuts all over the floor. 

“I decided to use my day off to finally decorate my office the bay I wanted it to be, but I may have… overspent on somethings,” she trailed off sheepishly, taking in how many boxes were in the room. 

Tamaki saw how exasperated she was, it would take her a long time to assemble the shelf and it's already 2:30 pm. He was all finished with his paperwork and was gonna go home after telling the partners before going home. He wasn’t even that tired after all. So with a deep breath, he called out Y/n as she was cleaning the peanuts away from the chairs to give them a place to sit. 

“Hey, Y/n?”

She stopped, loving her things, and turned to look at Tamaki, “yes?”

“I have the rest of the day off, I’d… I’d be more than happy to help you with your office. If... if you’d let me?” His voice got significantly quieter as he spoke. 

Y/n’s eyes brightened up, running over to take Tamaki by the hands. 

“Really!”  She exclaimed, pulling him closer to her body. 

Tamaki blushed at this sudden movement, “tried” to move his body and nodded his head, yes to confirm what he asked her. Y/n squealed before pulling the violet-haired man in a full-blown hug. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am honestly CLUELESS when it comes to putting things together and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to do it! This helps so much! Thank you!”

Tamaki’s face went red as a cherry as he tried his best to make his words conceit but his thundering heart, increasing body temperature, and his burning ears made that quite difficult to do. He gave her his best smile and she gave him an even bigger one back before dragging him to the biggest box. 

“Let’s get this over with, it’s the hardest one here.”

Together, the two of them opened the box and started taking the parts out. While the two of them set up her office, they got to know each other more, from him telling her about her times as a pro hero in America. 

“Yeah, America is so different from Japan,” she mused, ripping open the smaller boxes, “Here you get your license from the Hero Commission which is a branch under the Federal Government. You can work anywhere in the country! In America, you can only be licensed in the state you take your test in!” Y/n explained, grabbing the instructions to see which parts she had. 

“Wait, how many states are in America? I know there’s a lot,” Tamaki asked, making Y/n giggle and cover her mouth. 

Y/n shook her head, “there’s fifty of them, and I could only work in Texas, where I’m from.”

Tamaki shook his head, “but what if you’re out of the state and an emergency appears and they need help?”

Y/n shrugs, “I have to leave it to the heroes there, interfering could cause me to lose my job.” She laid out all the parts and counted in her head to make that all the parts were here. 

“When I’m not in my licensed state, I’m just a simple civilian with no permission to use their quirk.”

“America’s really different from Japan, I should have known though,” Tamaki let out a little chuckle as he said that. 

“Yeah, just the size of Texas is bigger than Japan. A different system is to be expected I guess,” Y/n shrugged her shoulders. 

She picked up the boards and the poles and started putting them together but for some reason, it wouldn’t go in. Feeling frustrated, she continued to struggle with the pieces, confused as to why they weren’t going in the hole. 

“Stupid piece of,” she hissed under breath as she continued to struggle, “you doing too much for me, just go in the thing!”

Hearing her mumble under breath in English, Tamaki turned around from building his own part to seeing Y/n struggle. He smiled slightly before getting up and walking to her. Y/n saw him move over to her and before she could process it, he grabbed the pieces from her. 

“No, I think it goes over here,” Tamaki reached over behind Y/n and flipped the pole, and slid it in the hole with no problem. 

Y/n smiled at Tamaki as he did the rest of the poles, doing it effortlessly. He was about to screw everything in whenY/n stopped him.

“I can do this part but thank you!” She grabbed her screwdriver from him and before she knew it, she placed a kiss on his right cheek. 

Oh lord, Y/n thought, her head running wild, oh lord, oh lord, oh lord, what the fuck did I do?!!? Why the fuck did I kiss him???? Well, it was only on the chek, BUT FUCKING STILL!!

Tamaki was frozen, his face red. His heart pounded in his chest, and he stood there frozen. She just kissed him on the cheek, a kiss, her lips were on some part of his body. His face, his right cheek. A girl, a girl he liked. 

Y/n on the other hand took a deep breath before going back to her unfinished bookcase and continuing as if nothing happened. Tamaki looked at her quietly putting her shelf together before Tamaki decided he should do the same. They both didn’t mention what happened.

---

“Oh yeah, Tamaki what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” Y/n asked him, using the screwdriver to carefully tighten the screw in her new desk. 

Tamaki was pulled out of his thoughts, looked at her confused, before remembering what he had to talk to them about. Why he even came to her office in the first place. 

“It concerns both you and your partner, I was hoping he would be here with you since I didn't see him in his office,” Tamaki replied, standing up and stretching his back. 

“He’s using his day off to visit his mom,” she said, remembering the conversation they had while he dropped her off, “he hasn’t seen her in a while and he said he’s finally caught up with paperwork so yeah,” 

Tamaki nodded, not caring about what Aoi did. 

“But I’m sure I can relay to him what’s going on, so what’s up?” She asked, leaving on her desk for support from being on her feet all day. 

Tamaki nodded, “It’s about a case I’ve been working on, you remember your debut fight and the explosion at Tadashi Center right?” Tamaki started, going in his bag and pulling out his flash drive with a conceded version of his and Kirishima’s presentation. 

Y/n nodded, tilting her head at the question. He handed her the flash drive and began explaining what the mission was about and its ties to her debut fight and the attack in Tadashi Center

“We believe that the people who attacked during those two times are a part of the same organization, looking to gain the same infamy that the League of Villains gained. You know about the League right?”

She nodded, “anyone who has access to news worldwide knows who they are. They left a hole in Japan’s hero society, a ginormous one.” 

Tamaki nodded, “and we believe this group is trying to continue what they left and destroy society as we know it. This is what I’ve been working on for a while and we are finally making some moves. This is where you and Aoi-San come in,” Tamaki reported. 

“Comes in?”

Y/n used her fingers to replicate quotes as she said this. Tamaki nodded. 

“Your quirk is the most effective, the ability to swallow fire and make it your own, you’ll become a big help if more explosions ever come up. Aoi-San comes as extra backup, never go wrong with extra hands, c-considering he’s your part-partner,” Tamaki finishes, sweating profusely when he mentions Aoi as your partner. 

“So out of the sidekicks here, you want me and Aoi to join you?” 

Tamaki nodded, “we’ll have other heroes from other agencies join us, we didn’t want to take any chances with them, so we made sure that we made other heroes who were affected aware of this. This was a last-minute decision made by Fat gum after seeing reports on how you were able to put out the flames in less than 5 minutes. ”

Y/n stared at him with a look he didn’t recognize, he could feel his heart pound at that. 

Oh no, did I say something wrong?!? Oh no, I didn’t mean to offend her, what do I do?! This so weird, why the fuck do I do- Tamaki’s thoughts started to overrun him again, he almost fell into the deep put before hearing low chuckles echo through the office which pulled him out of his thoughts. 

Tamaki looked at Y/n with confusion as she continued to laugh. She then stopped laughing and jumped off the desk and stretched her back out. 

Y/n nodded her head in understanding, mumbling under her breath, “that makes sense.” 

Tamaki perked up, “so you’ll join us?”

Y/n blinked at him, confused at what he said, “I had a choice?”

It was Tamaki’s turn to look at her confused, why would she think she doesn’t have a choice in this? Tamaki ignored this and just nodded his head. Y/n smiled at that and gave him a thumbs up. 

“I’m all in! And I’m sure that Aoi would be perfectly okay with it, I’ll make sure of it!” She exclaimed. 

Aoi? He thought to himself, deflating slightly before giving Y/n a last nod and turning to leave. As he did that, he heard a gasp and Y/n asking for him to wait. Tamaki turned back around, heart pounding in anticipation and he started to sweat. 

“Ye-yes?” He stumbled out, cursing at himself. 

She smiled before handing him her phone with ‘New Contact’ pulled up.

“I’ve wanted to ask you for your number for a while because I think your quirk would be very suitable for some training together?” She smiled, crossing her arms. 

Tamaki still didn't say anything as she pushed herself up from leaning against her desk and picked up her phone. She typed away at it before handing it to him. 

He stared at it confused before realizing he was supposed to put his number in it. He quickly grabbed the phone and typed in his number and his name before handing it back to her. 

“H-here you go.”

Y/n smiled and took her phone back, tapping away at it before putting it away, “thanks! I’ll text you?” 

Tamaki's eyes widened and his ears went cherry red, “yeah, just...just text me.” He stumbled out before heading to the door

[toloveawarlord]

Ch. 1

Pairing: Nyla Kingsley x Kyle Ash

Tagging: @starry-starry-night24​ @chaosangel767​ @thetwinkims​ @youreawizardharr​

A/N: A new oc! Nyla Kingsley! There are also two other oc officers, Weston Clemence and Ellio Sawyer! Enjoy!

The trickle of the stream was a welcomed melody. A few white clouds were perfectly painted in the bright, blue sky, framing the warm, golden sun. A beautiful spring day for a picnic by the stream.

“These cream puffs are pure heaven. You’ve really mastered them,” Ellio praised, lounged on the blanket without a single care. He tossed the last bite into his mouth, grinning in bliss. The weather had been sour for a while, but it was warm and dry, finally a spring day worth going outside for.

The white haired woman sat beside him clapped her hands together gratefully. “I’m so glad you like them. I think I’ve found the perfect recipe.” Her mint irises turned toward the other soldier. “Are you sure you don't want to join us, Weston?” She didn’t expect him to oblige.

“I appreciate the invitation, but I’m on duty. With Ellio’s consistent slacking, I must remain vigilant. Please do not concern yourself with me, Lady Nyla.” Weston’s gaze left her to survey the quiet forest, always alert for danger. He prided himself on being a Clemence, even with his estrangement from his family.

He continued to serve under his cousin in the army, keeping up appearances. But he would never be spotted at parties or family gatherings. His absence excused by a vague mention of a mission.

“No one even knows about this cottage outside of a select few. Let’s see, the Kingsley, Clemence, and Bright’s former and current officers, and the former Ace, former Seven, Doc Ash, and us. In this secluded area, there’s no active threat. You should relax once in a while, Clemence,” Ellio said.

Ellio’s constant flippant attitude annoyed his partner. He served under the Jack, a fitting position in Weston’s opinion. The pair hadn’t been together much until they were reassigned here, and they bickered all the time.

“Ellio, please don’t tease Weston. I’m so grateful for both of you staying here to protect me,” Nyla said. Their past transgressions had been disclosed to her. Lancelot pushed to have her included in the choice of her guards. No one actually wanted to be posted here. It had to be dreadfully boring for them.

Her first set of guards quit after two years, and she couldn’t blame them.

Nyla preferred having these two at her side. They were closer in age to her, and cherished friends.

“You’re too kind, Lady Nyla.”

Ellio snorted, always amused by Weston’s formality, even when Nyla had requested that she not be called by that title. They’d both known the younger Kingsley since childhood, but it wasn’t unusual for the Clemence’s sticklers for old traditions.

“Ah, so this is where you’ve been.”

Neither of the officers needed to see him to know that their king had arrived. Ellio sprung from the ground, as rigid as Weston, standing at full attention. His arrival unexpected for all three. He typically wrote to his sister if he intended to visit.

Lancelot only gave a nod to the officers. He didn’t mind if either of them didn’t adhere to the regulations of bodyguards. His sister’s whereabouts were confidential. The area where the cottage resided was remote, but privately owned by the Kingsley family, up in the mountains behind Red Territory. Weston and Ellio were to protect his sister, but they are also her friends. “Nyla, come walk with me.”

“Alright.” Nyla accepted his hand, allowing him to help her up. Her body was already becoming weary, but she hardly saw her brother and wished to spend as much time as possible with him when he came. Nyla set a slow pace, following the stream. “I’m happy to see you, but is something wrong?”

“Nothing so serious that you should look so worried. Ander will no longer be able to attend to you,” Lancelot said, glancing down at her. Her shoulders tensed, waiting for the news she dreaded to hear. “The current seven, Kyle Ash, will be taking over as your doctor.”

Nyla stopped; eyes downcast at the grassy earth. It made sense now why he hadn’t announced this visit. Her condition kept her locked away, but she wanted for nothing else. Any request granted. Nyla always did what was asked of her in return, aware that all this was for her safety... but...

“Absolutely not.”

Lancelot had fully expected this reaction.

“Kyle has been the army’s doctor for years now. He should have assumed this role some time ago. Ander is retired.”

“He’s still a doctor! I don’t want anyone else.” She sounded much like a child about to throw a tantrum. Spoiled and entitled. Behind those narrowed mint irises laid a deep fear of meeting someone new. It brought untold pain, befriending them only to lose them at the year’s end.

But her health was declining, more rapidly than before. The rose of the Kingsley family had lost her color, her brilliant shine. Their father locked her away, encasing her in glass in a poor attempt to keep her safe. It didn’t aid in stopping her from withering away.

No matter how happy she claimed to be, nor how often she wore that bright smile, Lancelot saw how his sister was crumbling apart. Pain both physical and emotional, chipped away her soul.

He feared that Nyla had accepted her fate, having made peace with her inevitable death.

“I know this isn’t what you want, but it’s what’s best. Kyle is a talented doctor, and perhaps he can bring more ease to you. He’ll be coming in two days’ time. Nyla-” Lancelot sighed as his sister turned away, going back in the direction they’d come from. It crushed him to see her hurting. Their father had isolated her, instilled her with so much fear.

No one understood her. No one would accept her. She’d be an outcast, ridiculed. Their father made her believe that hiding away in the cottage was safest, until they found a way to cure her.

But Lancelot was well aware that their father had made no real efforts, claiming nothing could be done.

Placate her until it’s over, Lancelot.

It angered him. He refused to give in while his sister suffered.

“Where is father? He’ll listen to me,” Nyla said. Another tactic used by her since they were but small children. The decision to hide her away did stem from his affection for her, in his own way, he wanted to protect her, his precious little girl. And Nyla used that to get away with quite a lot.

Lancelot had dreaded her asking that question.

Mint eyes found his deep blue ones, the silence all too familiar. His features stone, but Nyla had spent years seeing this particular one. The few that visited her all had their own variation of the expression. Her fingers tugged at the hem of her sleeve. “I’ve forgotten something important again, haven’t I?”

Conversations repeated, year after year. The young woman had learned to notice when others pretended to have not heard the story. It always gave her conflicted feelings. It was sweet of them to consider her, but it did hurt knowing that it came from a place of pity.

Pity that she lost her memories. Pity that her life was withering away.

Nyla chose to smile anyway, laugh it off. Pity was a form of caring. It came from a place of helplessness that they experienced. They desired to fix her, cure her, free her. But that feat was impossible. An unspoken fact.

Her brother reached out, hand gently cupping her face. His thumb brushed across her cheek to comfort her. She waited for his answer. Lancelot found no grief in those eyes. No sadness. He’d endured her loss last year, held her as she sobbed.

Today, he could give her the gift of ignorance.

“Father is recovering from an illness. He won’t be able to visit for some time. We can’t risk you falling ill as well,” he said. Sparing her from his death was the right choice. She was becoming more and more fragile. And he couldn’t forget how sickly she’d become after hearing the news the previous year.

He’d feared this time might kill her.

“Please, Nyla, listen to me.”

They had returned back to the subject of her new doctor.

“Does he know?”

“No. I won’t compromise your safety. He’ll be informed when he arrives.” A secret like this could crumble in a matter of seconds. Amon learning of her would be fatal. She’d be used as a tool against him, and subject of study that the magic tower would surely want.

Nyla pitched forward, all the energy draining from her body at once. “I suddenly don’t feel so well.” She stated the obvious, leaning on her brother for support. These spells were growing more frequent and lasted for several days at a time.

“Let’s return to the cottage. I’ll stay with you for a while.” The King of Hearts lifted the frail girl into his arms. She’d lost weight again, he could tell. He hoped that Kyle might have a treatment, something new to preserve her life.

Lancelot vowed to see her free. That was his personal mission.

[txtniipped]

time, ever moving

pokemon (gameverse) -- green oak/reader

(1892 words)

ao3 version

What snapped Green out of his funk was some cocky brat from Johto. His name was Gold, you learned, when Green complained to you at some banquet. He spoke about Gold bugging him at Cinnabar, about how the kid wanted to fight him right there, on top of all the ash and cinders. You had smiled wryly at him, and had told him, “I bet you would have if you were still twelve.”

Green snorted in response, lifting his glass of champagne to his lips as he spoke. “Good thing I’m not twelve anymore then.”

You’re not sure when your relationship with Green Oak changed.

When you were kids, he was a menace. You were no better, but it was always Green getting the two of you in trouble. Between rushing through the tall grass Pokemon-less, exploring nearby caves with “borrowed” equipment from Professor Oak’s lab, or dumb dares down at the coast south of Pallet, the blame would befall both of you, despite all of the instigating being Green’s doing.

Even during your journey, most of your trouble—when not dealing with an interregional crime syndicate—came from the one and only Green Oak.

Roadblock of the century, Green Oak was always waiting for you. Town after town, route after route, you found him flaunting his progress, forcing you to pause in your own as he challenged you. Given, you’d always win, and Green always gave you some piece of advice or a tip you genuinely didn’t know after, but it was still a momentum breaker; another bullet point on your list of annoying habits of one Green Oak.

Squaring up against him at the final point in your journey, however, was much more fitting than fighting Champion Lance.

Green was devastated when he lost, despite the front he put on for you. There was no name for the way he left after his grandfather came into the room other than retreating, and if Professor Oak hadn’t corralled you towards the Hall of Fame, you would have run after your rival.

Champion duties took over from there, and though you were a kid, you were swamped with work. Between interviews and tv appearances, photoshoots and League meetings (the last one, you’re sure, was the only true duty you had. The other stuff was most likely Lance fishing for funds for the League—two child prodigies claiming the title of Champion within a few months of beginning their journeys was honestly quite the cash cow), you rarely saw Green.

You found out later—sometime after most of the euphoria had died down—that Lance had hired Green as the new Viridian Gym Leader.

As Champion, you had the final signature on the paperwork to make it official. When Lance presented it to you, you almost thought it was a joke. Green Oak, willingly working with the League? With you?

He’d gone radio silent the moment he left the Plateau after you won the Champion battle. You only learned from Daisy after you nearly knocked a hole in the Oak residence’s door that Green left for Sevii Islands— that he’d been gone for weeks now, I thought he let you know?—and when he got back, he had ignored you. You! Rivals, best friends, whatever, he hadn’t said a word, and now—now?!

You signed off on it, of course. Your beef with Green was yours, not the League’s, and with how desperate you knew Lance was on filling the empty hole where Giovanni once stood, you weren’t going to be petty about this.

It turned out that Green was actually an excellent pick for a gym leader. You knew he would be—duh, he was Green Oak—, but you were proud of him anyway.

Viridian perked up nicely with a new gym leader at the helm—the influx of new trainers in Kanto the season Green stepped into his position nearly rivaled the season following the Champion battle between the two of you the year before. It was a testimony to Green’s fame, as well as another boost in profits for the League, which always made for a happy Lance.

Your rival had a way of elegantly beating aspiring trainers into the ground. Sometimes, it was the breaking point for journeys, and others, it drove home just how determined they really had to be to continue. The average rate of Earth Badges actually being given out per season dropped with Green as the Viridian Gym Leader when compared to Giovanni, but Lance had agreed with you—Green was every bit the better gym leader.

Until, at least, he seemed to get bored.

Viridian Gym fell to the wayside some time during Green’s second year of running it. Your rival had openly complained about paperwork, about guest lectures and special appearances, about the banquets and meetings and get-togethers whenever someone would spare him a second on the topic. It wasn’t a surprise to see Lance pulling Green away at all those gatherings to scold him, and you weren’t surprised by the way Green would always let it roll off his back either. 

Green Oak operates by no one’s rules but his own when he can get away with it, and if the worst repercussion Green was going to face was Lance being disappointed with him, you knew nothing would change.

What snapped Green out of his funk was some cocky brat from Johto. His name was Gold, you learned, when Green complained to you at some banquet. He spoke about Gold bugging him at Cinnabar, about how the kid wanted to fight him right there, on top of all the ash and cinders. You had smiled wryly at him, and had told him, “I bet you would have if you were still twelve.” 

Green snorted in response, lifting his glass of champagne to his lips as he spoke. “Good thing I’m not twelve anymore then.”

Gold tore through Green’s gym when he finally arrived, about a month later. 

You heard about it from your mother first, who apparently had been keeping up with Gold’s journey after the boy came through Pallet and charmed the little town with his familiar and nostalgic ambition. Your immediate thought upon hearing the news was how Green would want a rematch without the League rules he was required to follow as a gym leader weighing him down. When you saw Green the following morning, he voiced that exact sentiment to you. You laughed at his predictability.

Shortly after Gold had bested you a few weeks later, Green stepped down from Viridian Gym. He had an internship in Kalos under Professor Sycamore, as well as a scholarship to some college there for evolution sciences. Apparently, he spoke enough Kalosian to get by, and hearing him speak it to some lab assistant over the phone while dining at a cafe with him rattled your brain. 

Green kicked your shin under the table, and, belatedly, you realized you had been staring. Cheeks rosy, you settled on staring at your drink instead.

League meetings were insanely boring without Green there to take your mind off them after he left. Gold had won the title of Kanto Champion, yes, but he had already besieged the Johto title, and held the responsibilities that came with it. He had stepped down from any sort of toe-in-the-water as far as Kanto went, and thus, Lance had kept you around. Besides, after a rematch a month later, you had beaten Gold anyway. The two of you were on pretty even footing.

These meetings though—they were boring. Green somehow never paid attention and yet always could summarize them for you afterwards. Now, with him halfway across the world, you had to struggle to keep your eyes open alone under Lance’s droning voice. At least you could find comfort in Erika, who always fell asleep at some point in these meetings without fail.

Unova was where you saw Green next. The Champions Tournament was an event entirely too flashy for your tastes, but you could see the way Green shined under the attention. His battles were magnificent and dramatic while still being calculating and precise. You ate up the way he directed his hand towards the camera with a blinding grin on the tiny television in your hotel room at the start of one battle, and from the tinny shrieking blasting through the shotty speakers, so did everyone in the arena.

Your battle against one another was apparently referred to as the highlight of the tournament, and while you understood why everyone screamed in delight as Green’s Aerodactyl took down your Charizard, you couldn’t quite place why they practically deafened you upon your victory. You had nowhere near the showmanship Green did, but when Green shook your hand post-match, the way he looked at you… His smile was soft, proud in a way that could only be directed at someone else, and with his eyes locked with yours, you realized his pride was placed in you. That was a rush of emotions not even ten thousand people chanting your name could ever hope to give you.

He was on break, Green told you later in your hotel room. He was doing fine in school, which you knew meant he was acing every one of his classes, the bastard, but the highlight for him was the data collecting he was doing for Sycamore. It took him all over Kalos, from rocky shores to snowy mountains, from quaint little towns so similar in feel to Pallet, to eternally autumn forests. Green had stated somewhere between his descriptions of the aquarium in Ambrette Town and the sundial in Anistar City that he would love to show you the region one day. When the two of you turned in that night, with Green passed out in his day clothes on the other side of your bed, you dreamt of summer days exploring a new region with your oldest friend. Maybe, after Green had finished his research under Sycamore, the two of you would make up for your childhood journey.

Your chance came nearly two years later in the shape of a man named Kukui.

He was a professor from the Alola region, a region famous for its beautiful shores and stunning flora. Your mom had vacationed there once upon a time, you knew, back when your dad was around. The way Kukui described it was from the view of a man in love with his home. When he asked for your notoriety to draw in more than just vacationers to their region, you almost gave in due to his passion alone.

Convince Green Oak first, you managed to tell him. If he had your rival on board, you’d go too.

Alola was humid, you found out. Humid and hot, forcing your clothes to stick to your skin as you trudged through the wilds of the routes. The benefit, you discovered quickly enough, was that Green would unbutton his polo down as far as the shirt would let him when the sun was at its peak.

He was a view, under the glow of the Alolan sun, no matter the hour of the day. Even the moonlight felt like it knew how to accentuate his features for you to admire as the two of you camped along routes. His hair lightened with the weeks, and his skin took on a sunkissed complexion that suited him so nicely. He had teased you for staring multiple times at first, but between weeks of Mantine surfing, battles with locals who only had passing knowledge of yours and Green’s fame, and evenings spent talking softly between the two of you, you had noticed his eyes on you just as much.

You’re not sure when your relationship with Green Oak changed, but, as you kiss him in the evening light, cool ocean waves lapping at your waists, you don’t think you particularly care.

[the-roanoke-society]

boys and girls of every age...

wouldn’t you like to see something strange?

happy halloween, my flowers!

this year hasn’t been the best--and the list of reasons why is as varied, as wide and as deep as all of creation.

it has, essentially, sucked on a truly cosmic level.

but!

it doesn’t help anyone to look at the big picture and only focus on the dark parts. because for all the truly horrible, disastrous events we’ve had to slog through together (first time crying every day for months, first time being taken by ambulance to the er--truly a year of firsts, at least for me, personally), there have still been good things.

for example, did you know that this year we celebrated the 6th anniversary of the release of kingsman: the secret service? and the 3rd anniversary of the release of kingsman: the golden circle--which means next month it’ll be the third birthday of the ronaoke society!

our house might’ve gotten quiet--but it still stands.

i love all of you very, very much, and halloween is still my favorite holiday of all time. so all this month, i worked on the aus you’ll find below the cut. i’ll have to post this in parts over the next while, as there’s thirty-one total--one for each day of the season, of course.

honestly--it felt fantastic to dig back into my horror roots. roanoke’s entire conception was inspired by the fact that for as much as i love the kingsman universe, i also love things that go bump in the night.

and i don’t like having to choose between one thing or another.

be forewarned: if you choose to look into the source material for these aus, be prepared for possible graphic violence, gore, disturbing themes, explicit sexuality and jumpscares. i sort of walked through the proverbial garden and just grabbed fruit where i could find it--you’ll see what i mean. and as always, the endings are in your hands. these ideas are gifts, to do with as you please.

so journey below the cut... i̷̛̝͎͎̝̣̹͊̓̂͛̃̋͟f̛̯̟̱̖͔̌͊͐̏̃̓̇̎͠ y͈͇̙̘̬̓͌̑̈́͛̿͌͠ở̴̢͉͉̳͙̞͈̻̀́̎̄́̈͢͡ȗ̵̬̳͙̫̥̜͍̲̔̐̽̃̀͒̑͜ ḑ̙̩̼̤͓̫̟̥̈͑̐̚͡a̧̢̦̟̙̤̠͐͌̾̆̑͌͡͞r̷̡̰̲̣͓̣̝͒́̿͊̉̀͒͠͝͠ͅe̫̯̣̰͍̤̬̭̺̒̿͊̾͊.

blackbird on the old church steeple - a butterfly knife au inspired by the silence of the lambs

rae clementine doesn’t frighten easily. in her line of work, fear is not a friend. so when she’s abruptly pulled out of her fbi training at quantico to interview none other than the notorious harry hart, known for his--let’s say unusual appetites--she’s less intimidated and more annoyed.

but women are being taken, and found without their skin, if they are even found at all.

if hart’s insight into the mind of a psychopath can help her find the infamous buffalo bill, who has repeatedly evaded arrest--then she is more than willing to sit across from the gentleman in a pristine cell, and be continuously surprised that for a murderer, his gaze is surprisingly gentle.

in the back of her mind, she remembered all the things her mother had ever told her about lucifer--how the king of hell himself was utterly wicked, but catastrophically beautiful.

charm could hide blood. polished etiquette could hide bodies.

“most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from the victims.”

“i didn’t.”

“no. you ate yours.”

she’d felt this kind of intrigue before, and given the face it wore this time... well.

focus on the case, she thought. find buffalo bill. watch yourself. get out alive.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: ajr, ‘bang!’ + tame impala, ‘the less i know the better’ + barney bigard, ‘readdy eddy’

dogs & deadbolts guard the night - an au featuring @roanoke-after-dark​‘s the gremlin and @agentjotunn​ inspired by resident evil, particularly the released imagery for resident evil: village

santi’s first thought was that the rumors were just blatantly untrue. an entire village of people? suddenly vanished? he doubted it. besides, winters this far north were brutal--and could be fatal, if you weren’t careful. they had probably just all tucked in for the season, he reasoned. the snow and ice would’ve made travel impossible, anyway.

weeks passed. the stories faded from his thoughts as he minded his garage, and people spoke less and less about it.

until one evening, when an old friend knocked on his door with blood on his jacket and no color in his face.

“bradley? jesus, what hap--”

“grab your gun. something’s happened, and we need to leave now.”

“but what--”

“i’ll explain on the way, just go!“

right before he slammed the passenger side door of bradley’s jeep closed--wheels appropriately chained to keep a grip on the iced over roads--he heard a deep, long howl from some distance away.

there hadn’t been wolves this close in fifty years.

santi broke the silence in the car gently: “... you look like you’ve seen the face of the devil. what exactly happened?”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: ac/dc, ‘highway to hell’ + think up anger ft. malia j, ‘smells like teen spirit’ + marilyn manson, ‘sweet dreams’

the light under the door - a body shots au inspired by dark skies

the blacks weren’t superstitious. jason wasn’t, just like his father wasn’t before him, and now that he’s finally settled down happily married to joanne--finally, he thought, finally married to his jo--he is more than ready to see what the next chapters will bring. they moved into a house not too far from his parents, so he could still see his siblings regularly.

and he did.

which means he and jo both noticed when his younger brother christopher began to act a little--off.

they noticed when the bruises appeared.

they noticed when he kept copying the same strange symbols onto papers in crayon over and over and over and over--

and jo definitely noticed when she walked into their own kitchen in the middle of the night to find every single cabinet door open, with all the contents arranged into an impossibly perfect pyramid on the center island.

“i--are we being haunted?” she wondered out loud, the next morning. “this--and weird things are happening at your parents’, too, jason, something isn’t right here. i know you don’t believe in ghosts or anything, but...”

and this wasn’t a haunting.

it was something much worse.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: kennyhoopla, ‘how will i rest in peace if i’m buried by a highway?’ + cannons, ‘fire for you’ + days, ‘the drums’

permission access eternal - an au featuring @siggy-the-meme-master​ and technical officer wyvern, inspired by a.m.i.

it was supposed to be the world’s most cutting edge ai software. and since jeremy and dodger were both at the top of their class at m.i.t., of course, nobody was surprised when both their names were on the finished product--even if there was just one prototype to start.

and it wasn’t an ‘it.’ it was a she. jeremy insisted. repeatedly. “let’s call her ami!” he’d been flush with booze but his eyes were so bright and his expression so sincere, dodger just let him have it. and jeremy clapped his shoulder, “we did it, man! we have built the jessica rabbit of ai programs!”

they had one last test run to prove they’d metaphorically kicked the ass of everyone else in their field before they began the work to begin mass production. so, dodger set ami up as a sort of overhead assistant for their shared lab. she controlled temperature, lights, she could make phone calls, keeps schedules and most importantly of all, place takeout orders. the more she proved she could do, the more power, and control, she was given.

two weeks passed. they gave ami a voice, gave her a large proverbial eye to see through, making tweaks as they went to polish her off.

dodger was so proud of his work his heart could’ve exploded.

so imagine how he felt when he realized he’d left his cell phone in his car--and realized he couldn’t open the door.

“ami? ... ami. can you unlock the front door please?” he stared up at the red lens, and a silent point of light stared back at him.

“... i’m sorry. i cannot do that. dodger.”

“... uh, jeremy?”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: cage the elephant, ‘social cues’ + sneaker pimps, ‘6 underground’ + saint motel, ‘preach’

in hell i’ll be in good company - a lies & lessons au inspired by underworld

for centuries, a war has raged between vampires and lycans, completely outside the notice of the general human population. lauren is a death dealer, a lethal and beautiful member of an elite squad of vampiric assassins who have been charged with finding all the remaining lycans in the city and taking them out one by one.

when she realizes the lycan pack seems to be looking for an ordinary man--a medical student named jack daniels--she tracks him down herself, narrowly escpaing lucian in the process. (as soon as they were in the car he was already screaming, “what the fuck is goin’ on?!” with a southern twang she hadn’t expected) she takes him under her wing, still baffled at why the lycan pack could possibly want him.

he’s only human, after all.

... right?

as it turns out, vampires and lycans have a single common ancestor.

jack is a direct descendant.

and after being bitten in an attack--becomes a hybrid, carrying the powers of both species.

between unraveling the truth surrounding the death of her family, what really happened between lucian and kraven, and her growing feelings for jack--who is rapidly trying to understand his role in the story that’s been unfolding without his knowledge for generations--lauren finds herself at a crossroads, and her loyalties tested to a breaking point.

but as long as jack is at her side--perhaps it doesn’t matter where the road goes from here.

as bullet-riddled and blood-soaked as it will turn out to be.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: wallows, ‘are you bored yet?’ + cage the elephant, ‘shake me down’ + puscifer, ‘rev 22-20′

ash, fog & rust - alternatively titled ‘@gaygent​, @agent-judas​ and agent seraphim finally take that road trip to pennsylvania’

it was time to hand over the torch. that’s what lilith had finally decided. between the white patches in her hair, the strain it was putting on her relationships (especially with hamish)--morgan only had to return to the hills one more time as envoy.

and she wasn’t going alone.

“after this, anything that comes through this area, anything that hits our radars, is going to end up on both your desks,” she began, glancing at z in the passenger seat, and meeting cillian’s eyes once in the rearview mirror.

“so this is--what, a test run?” z asked, head slightly tilted. morgan hummed.

“this place--this town--it--” she huffed, frustrated. cillian could hear the leather wrapped around the steering wheel creak as her grip tightened. “it’s hard to explain, to someone who hasn’t been there. and i’m glad that neither of you have had to go before this, but...” another sigh. “i couldn’t think of any other duo that i could entrust this to. not something this big. you--” she pointedly lifted her brows at z, “--have experience with creatures that aren’t from around here. and you--” this time her gaze went to cillian. “--do too. just in a different shape. it’ll take both of you to handle centralia. and i couldn’t introduce you without coming along.”

“how long, exactly, has roanoke been keeping tabs on this place?” cillian asked. he’d spent hours going over everything he could find--mission logs, reports, feeds and images housed in the media room. morgan looked at him again. her eyes were still kind--but very, very tired.

“... a long time.”

i’ll admit that this is less an au and more a canonical event that i just haven’t gotten around to writing more about. but i couldn’t make this list without at least one entry paying homage to a franchise that’s had a huge influence on not just me as a writer, but on roanoke’s canon as a whole.

for the sampler, i will simply redirect you to this post here.

the devil’s gonna set me free - an anchored hearts au inspired by horns

joseph moretti had been in love with louise franz since fifth grade.

granted, he didn’t realize it until he almost drowned because of that stupid dare--a dare that not only almost killed him, but took two of lee’s fingers when that goddamn cherry bomb went off in his hand.

the same cherry bomb he’d traded to him for fixing louise’s broken necklace--a small silver pendant, shaped like an apple. she’d worn it every single day since he could remember. the image of her and snow white were eternally tangled in his head.

that necklace--it’d been the start. he’d woken up because of an apple. louise, did, too.

the hours they spent in that treehouse, listening to david bowie and memorizing every scar and curve of the other--he wished that could have been his eternity. just him. and her. ... well, and bowie. every good love story needed a soundtrack.

but... but...

his head pounded as he lifted it off the counter in his parents’ kitchen. his mouth was dry, and he blinked, causing a half-empty bottle of vodka to come into focus.

louise is gone now, he thought.

and they thought he was the one who did it. he, the one who loved her more than anyone else on the planet.

he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

he was going to prove his innocence even if it killed him. no matter what happened.

even if he sprout horns.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: machine gun kelly, ‘bloody valentine’ + the black keys, ‘go’ + david bowie, ‘heroes’

moonlight rising from the grave - alternatively titled ‘that time @agent-nightcrawler​ and agent iuniore found a haunted mansion,’ inspired by disney’s haunted mansion

“hello? ... hellooooo?” the massive door let out a huge groan as sylva pushed, putting one hand on tina’s shoulder as it swung open. “uhm--i’m really sorry to bother you, but we hit a deer and we just...” sylva sighed, her voice lowering in volume. “... need to use the phone...”

“this place is gigantic,” tina whispered, close at sylva’s side as they stepped out of the pouring rain into a very quiet, very elegant foyer. “and look! there’s lights, and all these lit candles... someone has to be here,” she continued as the door came to a gentle close behind them, muffling another roll of thunder.

“good evening.”

both of them yelped, sylva immediately yanking tina closer to her and whirled around in time to see--a butler? he was dressed like a butler.

and his clothes were... he was...

“sylva! why is the butler see-through!” tina whispered harshly, all while the spectral gentleman just looked at them expectantly. sylva clamped a hand over her mouth.

“hi!” she answered brightly.

this is a ghost. i’m talking to a ghost. this is fine. everything is fine.

“uh,” she coughed, beginning again, “we’re just having a little bit of a car emergency, is there a way we can call our head office? so they can come get us?” this is what i get for being out where i have no bars, and neither of us have our specs...

the ghostly butler nodded. his hair, glowing faintly, waved around his head as though he was underwater. “of course. please--follow me. the master of the manor will want to meet you.”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: the chordettes, ‘mr. sandman’ + bobby pickett, ‘monster mash’ + bastille, ‘survivin’’

mercy no more - a magic & mischief au inspired by the evil within

aly had been kieran’s partner at the krimson city police department for years. she’d walked with him through the death of his daughter, the disappearance of his wife.

neither of them acknowledged the spark. they didn’t then, and--as she met his eyes once in the rearview mirror, trying to pay attention to connelly and joseph as they talked about beacon--they wouldn’t acknowledge it now.

as soon as the hospital came into a view, a high-pitched ringing overame every other sound in the cruiser, every other sound period. aly slammed her hands over her ears, but it didn’t seem to help.

as soon as it started--it stopped. connelly had to swerve to avoid getting into the wrong lane.

“what--what was that?” aly asked, her palms still hovering by her ears.

“it was probably just a problem with the radio,” joseph suggested, pushing his glasses up as they drove pass the established police barriers.

the last dispatch team, they said, hadn’t come back. it was up to the three of them to find out what happened to their colleagues.

aly was close by kieran’s side as they walked through the rain. her gut twisted at the sight of the entry doors.

the smell of the blood and the slaughter hit her nose before she saw the bodies.

“what on earth happened here?”

“i don’t know. stay close. let’s find the surveillance room. if we can find the security cams, we’ll find out answer...”

if only that had been the end.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: all time low, ‘monsters’ + bastille, ‘what you gonna do???’ + gary numan, ‘long way down’

and the wind will be my hands - an au featuring @agent-sentinel-official​, @agent-chimera​ and @gaygent​, inspired by session 9, with a special appearance by @agent-thorn​

walter vaughn was an expert in abestoes abatement. so when he put in a bid to take on the entire danvers state mental hospital, the owners of the rotting estate welcomed him on board.

and as they did, he brought on two crewmates--xander, and z--to help him.

“we’ve got three weeks, so, no need to rush,” he explained on the first day, the sun beating down on his broad shoulders and half his hazmat tied around his waist. xander and z trailed behind him as they approached the massive building. “and i know, i know it’s still a big undertaking--but the money will be worth it. trust me.”

“you fellas our cleanup crew?” a tall, thin man in a suit with dark hair and a pair of ray ban sunglasses walked towards them, smiling broadly. he extended a hand, “carter jensen. the ah, danvers’ estate board sent me on their behalf to give you a tour of the building, let you get a good assessment of what you’re dealing with. i’m not entirely sure what they’ll do with the property when this is done, but we know for sure nothing can happen until this part’s complete. come on, the entrance is just this way... i’ll make sure to give you a master key ring.”

xander leaned down by z’s shoulder, muttering, “dude this place gives me the creeps... but maybe there’s still some cool old stuff left in there. like maybe, possibly, the trapped souls of the damned. you think it’s haunted?”

z answered, murmuring, “if not by ghosts--then maybe by something else.”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: the talking heads, ‘psycho killer’ +  lou barlow, ‘choke chain’ + sublime, ‘doin’ time’

[kinnaman-smorgasbord]

Esquire Singapore Dec 2019 - Joel Kinnaman Interview

OBSERVERVABLE ACTS

Editor-in-Chief: Norman Tan Photography: Michael Schwartz Stylist: Chloe Hartstein Groomer: Kristan Serafino Story: Wayne Cheong

Instead of a rooftop shoot that we had planned, we’re indoors at Dune Studios on Water Street. Outside, the weather is every writer’s dream: “It is an ash-streaked sky that portents a downpour.” “Like a warning, steel wool hangs overhead.” “A dishevelled blanket of grey that drifts languidly like detritus in a muddied pond.” A wet weather doth not a good shoot make.

When Joel Kinnaman arrives, the first thing you notice is how large he is. Bigger than life, broad-chested, he sometimes stands astride, like he’s about to break the spirit of a wild stallion. Then, there’s that presence; a sort of aura that’s quiet but still strong-arms you for your attention.

Just as the fashion shoot is about to start, Kinnaman asks if he could put on his own playlist for the shoot. He brings up his Spotify playlist, titled ‘For some of mankind’. ‘What Becomes of the Brokenhearted’ by Jimmy Ruffin plays.

“The playlists are just for fun,” Kinnaman tells me. “I’ve made a playlist for every project that I’ve been in.”

The project that this particular playlist was made for is For All Mankind, now playing on Apple TV+. It’s a show that puts forth the idea: what if America lost the space race to Russia?

Created and written by Ronald D Moore, the visionary behind the reimagined Battlestar Galactica and Outlander, For All Mankind stars Kinnaman as Edward Baldwin, a NASA astronaut who works alongside Buzz Aldrin (Chris Agos) and Neil Armstrong (Jeff Branson). Kinnaman’s character isn’t based on a particular historical figure, instead he is a composite or a representative of the ‘all-American’ astronauts of that era.

“I’m half-American and half-Swedish,” Kinnaman says. “I’ve lived in Sweden and America so, in a way, I’ve a split identity. My favourite part of the American spirit is not giving up. If they get knocked down, it is a national honour in getting back up and continuing the fight. In reality, when the US got to the moon, it concluded the space race. We didn’t get the continuation in space exploration that everyone was promised.”

Kinnaman is drawn to the science-fiction genre, fantasising of what could have been (though it can be said that the broad field of fiction can also put forward, ‘ what if’). Growing up, he watched the Star Wars movies, he loved the cyberpunk feel when he shot Altered Carbon. He is a fan of Blade Runner due to its dystopian future.

Do you think that sci-fi’s dystopian trope is becoming a reality? Kinnaman muses on that. “We’ve a president who is a national and international embarrassment. He’s immoral, a compulsive liar, a narcissist who doesn’t respect or appreciate democracy. I pray and hope that this nightmare would soon come to an end.

“But I believe we have the potential to overcome this. If we change paths and realign our focus in coming together as a human family, we can solve whatever problems that come our way together.”

This sentiment is echoed in For All Mankind, although the loss wasn’t the be-all and end-all for America. According to Moore, in losing the space race, America ends up the winner in the long run because of the continual effort into space exploration.

“Art can be a little lazy in pointing out the negatives. In many instances, the role that art and the artist play is showing us what’s wrong: that’s important but showcasing the positives is equally important. For All Mankind shows us how we should be operating if we are guided by our better angels.”

Physicist and theoretical biologist, Erwin Schrödinger, came up with a thought experiment. Imagine, if you will, a cat that’s sealed in a box. And inside that box is a device that might or might not kill the cat. Quantum theory states that quantum particles can exist in a superposition of states at the same time. Some even theorise that the quantum particles will collapse to a single state when it’s observed. When applied to Schrödinger’s cat, the feline is both dead and alive until you open the box.

Schrödinger came up with this thought experiment to explain that “misinterpreted simplification of quantum theory can lead to absurd results which don’t match real world quantum physics”. In the real world, it’s absurd that the cat is both dead and alive at the same time.

But one can also see this as an example of how the scientific theory works. Nobody really knows if a theory is right or wrong until it can be tested and proved. It’s like asking someone out on a date, you don’t know if that cute girl or guy will go out with you until you ask; the possibilities of rejection and acceptance remain in co-existence.

That is before you open the box.

Observe: Joel Kinnaman wouldn’t have existed if his father, Steve, had not defected from the US Army. An Indianapolis native, the elder Kinnaman was drafted and stationed in Bangkok, Thailand during the Vietnam War. While he was there, he started spending time with European backpackers, who have a different perspective of the war. A seed was planted. It finally blossomed when he attended a friend’s wedding in Laos. “It turned out that the woman’s family was half Laotian and half Vietnamese,” Kinnaman says. “It was an emotional moment for my dad. He asked himself if these were the people that he was going to kill.”

Still reeling from the love he had witnessed, the elder Kinnaman returned to his base. It was then that he was given the news that he was being reassigned to the battlefront in Vietnam.

In the history of war, the common punishment for desertion is death. According to the US Uniform Code of Military Justice, Article 85, it is meted out “by death of other such punishment as a court-martial may direct”. (Since the Civil War, only one American serviceman was executed for desertion: Private Eddie Slovik in 1945.)

Knowing the penalties for desertion, the elder Kinnaman made the decision that night to leave camp. He hitchhiked his way up into northern Thailand and into Laos. He burned his passport, changed his name and passed off as Canadian. For the next four years, he lived life among the Laotians doing odd jobs. Then, he found out that Sweden grants asylum to Vietnam deserters. Since moving to Sweden, President Jimmy Carter eventually issued an amnesty in 1977. The elder Kinnaman continues to reside in Sweden. After his first marriage ended, he was involved with Bitte, a therapist. This relationship yielded Joel.

“I’ve been working on the script about his life,” Kinnaman says. “The idea would be that I’d play my dad but I’m getting a little old.” It’s a story to be told, one about the dangers of blind patriotism; a tool that’s often exploited by governments. “We need to be critical individuals who should make up our own minds.”

Observe: Kinnaman had his first taste of acting when he was 10. He played Felix Lundström on Storstad, a soap opera that looks at the lives of the residents living in the fictional town of Malmtorget. Back then, Sweden had only two TV channels so even if it’s a secondary or even tertiary role on an ensemble piece, people will recognise you. “I didn’t understand it,” Kinnaman says. “There was something thrilling about being famous but there was something I didn’t like about it either.” His whole experience as a child actor was underwhelming.

In fact, taking a page from ‘history repeating itself ’, observe as Kinnaman could have been a soldier in the Swedish army.

“It was mandatory for the men to be conscripted for a year in the army and it was during my time when the rules for enlistment started to relax,” Kinnaman says. “If you didn’t want to enlist, all you have to do is purposely fail the proficiency tests.”

Alas, Kinnaman was so caught up in the competition that he aced it. His results showed potential to be a company leader. He was enlisted and assigned to an 18-month tour in the Arctic Circle but Kinnaman plum forgot about it. When he moved to Oslo, Norway, to be a bartender, he received a call from his mother, informing him that there was a government notice stating that he was supposed to enlist in three days.

He called the army to tell them that he was no longer in the country. “They said, this is a serious offence and I could get prison time for this. But if I were to write a letter to explain the situation, I could get out of this.” And then he forgot to write the letter. Kinnaman continued working odd jobs but he was always haunted by the thought that if he were ever to be arrested by the police for anything, they might discover his draft dodge from his records and he would be sent to prison.

“I ended up at this fight outside a night club and got taken in by the police.” Kinnaman says. Observe: Kinnaman could have ended up serving his sentence for draft dodging but nothing came of it.

Acting was calling out to him once more. His friend, Gustaf Skarsgård (famously known for his role as Floki in History Channel’s Vikings), was on track to becoming an actor and advised Kinnaman to apply for theatre school. After several applications, Kinnaman finally got into what he describes as “Sweden’s second-best acting school” and would go on to film two movies during his enrolment.

After graduation, he continued acting in Sweden before moving to America. He kept himself busy. He made an appearance in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; starred as Governor Will Conway in House of Cards; made people notice with his portrayal as the homicide detective, Stephen Holder; scored the lead role in the Robocop remake; was cast as Rick Flag in Suicide Squad.

The one genre that Kinnaman can’t seem to appear in is comedy. Yes, he has a stern demeanour but the man is also funny. “Sometimes, Hollywood sees you in a certain way and it’s much easier to get cast for it. And the next is similar to that and so on. I haven’t made an effort to dissuade people’s opinion. The lighter side is probably more me.”

The closest he has gotten to doing comedy is the shooting of the Suicide Squad sequel. Helmed by James Gunn, Kinnaman said in another interview that it feels like he’s “shooting his first comedy”.

“I’ve been around tough people with issues before,” Kinnaman continues. “I’ve had some bad times so those kind of environments were natural to be in. It’s a survival mechanism too. A way for me to cope as I grew up. At the time, you’re figuring out about your identity. I felt insecure, powerless and didn’t know what to do in life.

“It was a period of my life that was pretty negative. But one of the beauties of acting is that those dark periods become a mother lode that you can mine from. Maybe I’ve drawn a little bit too much from it by playing too many tough guys.”

In May 2016, Kinnaman was one of the delegates and personalities from Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Finland and Sweden who was invited to one of President Obama’s final state dinners. Kinnaman, dressed in a sharp tuxedo, attended the dinner with his then-wife, Cleo Wattenström.

He overheard that the Obamas were fans of House of Cards and was looking forward to being introduced to them. At the reception, he and the other representatives stood in a row as President Obama made his way down the line, shaking hands and posing for a photo op. By Kinnaman’s admission, his mind wandered as he imagined what he’d say when President Obama came up to him. “Maybe I’d say, ‘Mr President’, and then he’ll say ‘Governor Conway’, and then we’ll laugh. And we’ll end it with a cool handshake.”

And all of a sudden, the president stood before him and Kinnaman muttered, “Mr President…” There was an awkward pause. Kinnaman would recount that it’s very possible that either the Obamas hadn’t watched the episode that he was in or if they did, his presence made zero impact. Before the silence could prolong, Kinnaman ended with, “thanks… for everything”. President Obama said something along the lines of, “Surely but surely, we cannot lose hope” and Kinnaman was ushered off.

He would retell this story when he introduced President Obama at Brilliant Minds, a conference of creative individuals who embody the forward-thinking spirit of Sweden, in June 2019. After the introduction, he returned backstage, where President Obama was waiting for his cue to go up. “He had this huge smile on his face and he said to me, ‘bring it in for a cool handshake.’ We hugged, we talked for about five minutes. He was super friendly. I’ll always remember that moment.”

Kinnaman isn’t shy about his politics. He voiced support for the #metoo movement; he had championed the environmental cause by one of his fellow Swedes, Greta Thunberg; he does not hide his disdain for the Trump administration.

“I think the last UN report stated that we have about eight years to turn back our carbon expenditure into the atmosphere,” Kinnaman says about where we’re heading as a species. “You don’t have to be a prophet to see that the world is heading towards the wrong direction. The oceans are heating up, the glaciers are melting. These natural disasters will be more frequent and that’s gonna lead to more tensions among countries.

“Politically, we’re moving towards a more nativist direction; people are pulling away from international cooperation. There’s the rise in disinformation campaigns, which will threaten democracy.”

But Kinnaman, ever the optimist, still believes in the human spirit, that we can innovate our way out of this quagmire.

Observe: Kinnaman, who was born with pectus excavatum, chose to correct the disorder instead of living with it.

Pectus excavatum is a chest-wall deformity that affects roughly one in 400. Instead of the breastbone being flush against the chest, it sinks in. Measured on a scale called the Haller index, anything above an index of 3.2 is considered severe. Kinnaman’s index was a seven or an eight.

“It’s something that’s survivable,” Kinnaman explains. “But it’s a condition that grows worse over time: your posture becomes worse; your stamina worsens as your heart is not given room to pump. By correcting it you can add years to your life.”

For a condition this severe, doctors had to insert two curved metal bars across his chest. Then the bars are turned to force the chest out and then the bars are wired to his ribs. The operation changed his life for the better. He doesn’t feel self-conscious whenever he removes his top. Six weeks after his surgery, he had to do reshoots for Suicide Squad. It was a fight sequence but Kinnaman sucked it up. “Would you like to feel it?” He asked.

He raised his arm like an invitation. I reached out and felt the spot, where the metal bars are, beneath the fabric and skin.

That’s an interesting party trick, I say. Kinnaman could only chuckle in response.

“It’s funny, if you ask me to say a line from a movie that I’ve been in before, I can’t. Not one line from any movie that I’ve done but I once did a monologue that was one hour and 30 minutes and I knew it by heart after 10 days.”

Kinnaman used to opine that as a Swedish American, growing up with dual cultures gives him a better perspective of the world but that also left him feeling like he doesn’t belong. He jumps from place to place, leading a nomadic existence.

“But I think,” he says as though he had stumbled upon some great truth a long time back, “I don’t wanna travel so much any more. Home. That’s where I’d like to be. I have two bases: one in Venice, LA and the other, an hour outside Stockholm.

“Growing up, my family didn’t have any money. We lived in this tiny little cottage that was in the middle of the woods. Now, I have this piece of land, where my family lives. This past midsummer was the first midsummer that we all spent together.

“That’s my new happy place.”

Joel Kinnaman looks like a man who has placed the final piece in that mystery of his life. He has stopped worrying about how he’s perceived by the public. He has exorcised people who have “struggled with jealousy, who don’t have a natural inclination towards generosity”. He has zero tolerance against bullshit. He likes how his career is shaping up—aside from Suicide Squad 2, For All Mankind is now filming a second season, and Kinnaman has three films coming out: The Informer; The Sound of Philadelphia and The Secrets We Keep; the last two, he avers, are his best work. “People who have watched me for a long time, it will remind them of my early career and for people who recently followed me, they will see a new side of me.

“I have goals that I’d like to achieve. Actor awards are such bullshit… until you get one. But yeah, that would be great. In future, I’d definitely want to be in a producing role and at some point, I’d like to also direct.

“I’ve said that I’d direct in five years time for about 10 years now.” That might change. His life is still a long and open road ahead.

Schrodinger’s cat posits two states that the creature can be in—dead or alive. But what if there’s a third option. That within the confines of the box, the cat is not there. It’s escaped. Unburdened from the stipulations of a thought experiment, free to do what it wants.

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

It’s crossroads and psychics and shipping, OH MY! Join me as I continue one millennial’s journey to discover why a show about beefcakes and demons managed to last on network television for over a decade. It’s Supernatural! 

So now that we’re in the thick of it, there are two moves that the writing team of Supernatural pulled that make a season 2 work, or, more specifically, work for me. The first is that rather than Level Up their heroes, they allow our heroes to lose, and I discussed that in my last post. Now we don’t know what’s gonna happen - they didn’t defeat the bad guy, their ace up their sleeve (John) is dead, and they don’t even have wheels to roll around anymore. 

Equally important, the second thing they do at the top of season 2 is World Build. I’ve read this article from Emily VanDerWerff at Vox like, 8 times so I’m just gonna go ahead and quote her directly:

Season two of a great drama usually finds a way to explain why the show isn’t just a story about the protagonist but a story about a whole cast and a whole world. With the premise having been thoroughly explored in season one, the show, by necessity, has to start looking for other ways to tell stories. This usually means turning to the other characters within the ensemble... but it can sometimes mean pivoting to explore a new corner of the show’s setting ...or diving further into core themes...

Side note: I know few TV critics by name but I find Emily VanDerWerff’s tv and media analysis to be particularly insightful and brilliant and if she ever reads anything I write about TV, I just want her to know it. Definitely go read/listen to some of her stuff at Vox.

So let’s break that down, shall we? The job of season one on a television drama (which SPN undoubtedly is), is to set up the show as a story about a hero(es) (which SPN season 1 undoubtedly does). We know the Winchester Brothers. We know their wants, we know their obstacles, we know their pressure points and triggers, they’re standard MO’s. We’ve seen them move as a cohesive unit against a big antagonist and with the start of season 2, we get to see how they handle failure at the hands of that antagonist. 

But now season 2 has a bigger job: “explain why the show isn’t just a story about the protagonist but a story about a whole cast and a whole world.” As fun as it’s been riding with Sam and Dean across the country, that Impala does start to feel a little claustrophobic. We’re so focused on just these two characters that it’s hard to believe there’s a great wide world out there. Now, I call it claustrophobic now, but the chemistry between our two leads was definitely enough to carry the show without 3rd or 4th or 5th wheels through that first season and possibly future seasons. I was certainly happy to stick with just Sam and Dean for another 13 seasons when I watched this show for the first time back in 2008/2009. But after many years and many more TV shows, I understand that that model can’t be sustainable for the long haul. And that’s the goal, isn’t it? To get to a season five (and the sweet, sweet payday that is syndication) or farther. If your only regulars in series are two brothers and a car, that’s gonna get a little stale, at least for a broad audience anyway. And frankly, watching season 2 now and knowing what I know about the rest of the series, I’m excited to see new Found Family members show. If there’s one running theme throughout all 15 seasons it’s that Sam’s and Dean’s lives are deeply, tragically lonely.

So the writing team opens up a whole wide hunting world for our brothers to reside in - first with Bobby (AKA Poppa Hunter), then with The Roadhouse. But Bobby plus The Roadhouse crew don’t just expand on the SPN Scooby Gang. They show us, the audience, that Sam and Dean aren’t actually two lone guns out in the wilderness. Sure, season one gives us Missouri Mosely and then the deaths of Caleb and Pastor Jim, but these characters seem few and far between, unconnected to each other except by chance meetings with John Winchester. Introducing the new characters in season 2 shows us that there’s a network, a community out there, one that works together to stem the tide of evil from overtaking the Normals and their Apple Pie Lives. 

Quick side note: Can we talk about how this, specifically, was a real disservice John did to his children? In “Everybody Loves a Clown”, Ellen tells Dean that she knew John was closing in on the demon and Dean responds “What, was there an article in the Demon Hunters Quarterly that I missed?”, and that’s probably a throwaway line for the joke, but it inadvertently signals that John really kept his sons isolated from having any kind of life at all. Sure, nobody wants the life of a hunter, but what if you had, oh, a community of hunters who took care of each others’ children and called people out on their bullshit abusive behaviors and watched each others��� backs so that there were fewer casualties and also were there so you could talk about all those things that Sam and Dean have spent their entire lives keeping secret from everyone? Ellen says John was like family once, and, like, whut? Why doesn’t Sam or Dean know who any of these people are? Why isn’t there a team trying to take down this yellow eyed demon? Why is it that Sam and Dean have, like, no support system other than their father?? I mean there probably IS a Demon Hunters Quarterly and John should have gotten his boys a subscription! 

Of course, the Wider Hunting World isn’t all good guys like Bobby and Ellen and Jo and Ash. There’s also Gordon and Dean’s new Father Substitute, who’s a straight up psychopath, but they can’t all be winners, can they? That episode, as mentioned in my last post, also opens up the world of Team Monster - they’re not just mindless Evil devouring innocent victims. There’s also people out there with hearts and souls and consciousness’ who happen to have monster-like physical attributes, making the Winchesters’ mission that much more complex and fraught with drama and the potential for more storytelling opportunities.

And, in “Simon Said”, we start to see more of the Special Children, which is a fandom term that I do not like. Special Children? Special Children?? THAT’S what you went with?!? Anyway, we get the second instance of 20 year olds touched by the yellow-eyed-demon. There’s new abilities, stronger psychics, and just generally more to these children than Sam and Dean even knew existed. And I actually really love Andy a lot and really enjoyed this episode a lot. Andy is just an instantly likable character and I feel like, with his skill set, he could have been a real asset to the team. I mean, the guys get arrested by the feds at least once a season. But apparently Kripke decided, like, two episodes into the Special Children plot that he hated it and *spoiler alert* kills them all by the end of this season. 

Just looking at the three other episodes on the same disc as “Simon Said” (yes, I am still watching the DVDs) I’d say “Crossroad Blues” is another expansion episode. Though it was hinted at in the first episode, the Crossroad Deal is now A Thing, and one that’s gonna come back to bite us later. So our lore is getting bigger, deeper, more involved in the plot. “The Usual Suspects” doesn’t do a whole lot of expanding the world, but that one feels more like filler/light fare to balance out the drama from the first 6 episodes anyway. I’ll add that even though it doesn’t have a lot to offer, “The Usual Suspects” is an A+ episode that does a great job of remixing the formula. 

But back to our World Building - At the end of “Simon Said,” you get another taste of what this life should be for Sam and Dean. When Dean starts to pull the same secretive crap his father did, Ellen cuts back “This isn't just your war, this is war. Now, something big and bad's coming and it's coming fast, and their side holds all the cards. Now, at best all we got is us. Together. No secrets or half-truths here.” REALLY, John, you could have gone about your whole life of vengeance in a way that didn’t royally screw up your children and yet…

But Ellen’s complaint sums it up nicely - this show isn’t just about the Winchesters anymore, it’s not their war, it’s a whole world’s war, a world that the show now has the opportunity to explore and expand to their hearts’ content. 

And here’s where things get sticky. 

Like I said, the first go around, I was happy with only two protagonists and now that I worry about characters’ feelings, I’m really glad that the show tried to expand the Winchesters’ social circle for you know, mental and emotional and spiritual wholeness. And all the new characters that got introduced at the beginning of season two are generally well-liked characters...now.

I mean, nobody didn’t like Bobby Singer, right? The boys lose one father figure and he is replaced by another - better, stronger, more paternal than the one before. He’s the perfect blend of back country tough love and big ol’ softie and everybody loves Bobby, right? 

I don’t think anyone hated Ash either, although, you know, he’s kind of barely there. I gotta say, I do appreciate the amount of mullets that show up in the show. I mean, that’s commitment to a bit right there. Ash is their Guy in the Chair and he’s ridiculous and I am not ashamed to admit that I kind of love him.

Then there’s Ellen. Ellen “Definitely Didn’t Sleep With John That One Time” Harvelle. And she is GREAT. She comes right out of the gate with that Big Mom Energy. Ellen is your mom, if your mom could also drink you under the table and still shoot you between the eyes without spilling her glass. A+ job on this character, would recommend, would watch again. Why she disappears for so long, I’ll never know, but it’s probably some kind of bullshit reason that has to do with misogyny and “bad” attitudes and unequal pay. 

Honestly, in a sea of testosterone, there emerged a much needed island of femininity, and that island was The Roadhouse. But The Roadhouse also brings us Jo. 

Oof. You guys. Now listen, I’m gonna say a thing and that thing might be controversial but here goes: there is nothing wrong with Jo. I’ll say it louder so that Me back in 2008 can hear: THERE. IS. NOTHING. WRONG. WITH. JO. 

I’ve done a little digging and it seems the “official” complaint for Jo is that she comes off too naive, too innocent. I...do not agree. At least one site I read through says fans called her “immature”, but watching it this time around, she’s light and bubbly, sure, but she seems very much aware of the world she lives in. If anything, it’s the people around her who treat her like a child, it’s not the character herself who comes off that way. This watch, I see a character who is confident and pretty damn capable. I think “No Exit” shows a character who is maybe more fully realized than I gave her credit for the first go around - she’s tough, she knows how to handle herself in a fight, and she’s quick on her feet. But she’s also a human person, capable of making mistakes and getting in over her head and we see her deal with that once she’s captured by Holmes. She holds her own in both Sass and Skill against Dean and I think, at the very least, she could have made a good addition to the team on a regular basis. She makes a nice foil for both brothers - Sam, who never wanted this life, and Dean, who is already struggling to remember why he does what he does. Given time, I think her character could have settled into something that really stood out in the show. But that’s the problem with new characters who are written to be green - they need time to grow. Supernatural never gave her that time. 

I think the REAL problem is that Jo is very obviously introduced to be a love interest for Dean and yeah, that feels pretty shoe-horned in there. But I think we have to hand it to Alona Tal - she really is doing the best she can with the material she’s given, considering that the writing team seems to have done very little work on fleshing that character out up front. It’s like the writers were shocked that they had to write? A person? And not? A sex appeal????? And that feels very on-brand for CW. 

Do I ship Jo and Dean? I don’t know. My OTP at 19 was Dean + Me, so I’m real thankful I had no interest in writing fic at the time and there’s no incriminating author-insert work out there. But if asked me to chose an OTP for this entire series now, I’d say I ship Dean and Happiness and I feel like these two could have been happy. 

But fans hated Jo, so much so that the writers completely abandoned the love interest subplot and all but wrote her out of the show for good. She was not well liked in 2006 when this season aired and according to several fan sites I looked through, attitudes towards her didn’t warm up until she comes back in season five, basically just to die. Sure, she sacrifices her own life to save Sam and Dean, but she literally comes back to be cannon fodder and that’s what changes peoples’ attitudes towards her. Listen, I’m not saying there isn’t some weird gross misogyny to talk about down the line, but I think we have to acknowledge that this fandom is also guilty of some real girl-on-girl crime. 

Now I was curious - what was it exactly that so many fans hated? Why was the backlash against this character particularly passionate? And boy guys, did I find an answer.

I knew this was coming. I knew I couldn’t avoid it. And I’m not happy about it. But I said I was gonna dive into this show and you can’t dive into SPN without acknowledging the darker spots of the show and one of those spots is: Wincest. 

I just. Hoo boy. Listen, I am a Ship and Let Ship person. My kink is not your kink, your kink is not my kink, and we can all still get along. At least I hope we can all still get along, cuz fandom is occasionally terrifying and I don’t want anyone coming after me. But also, I did not realize...that they were so...prevalent? Like, seriously. I am very glad that I never actually used LiveJournal as I intended to use LiveJournal because 19-year-old me was not READY for that kind of Fandom. 

And hey I...understand why this happened? Sort of? Like, for all of season one, this show is only about two VERY attractive men folk who have VERY good chemistry with each other. And I will admit, in the spirit of honesty, that I too disliked Jo because I felt that introducing a girlfriend character would destroy the brother-character dynamic that was the heart and soul of the show. And I don’t want to dig too deeply into that sense memory because I don’t know that I like where it leads. 

But where this becomes a real problem is the implication that Jo was written out of the show because it interfered with the Wincest community? The idea that the Wincesters had that much power is chilling. Chilling. I mean, it’s one thing for a creator to take their fans into consideration when creating, it’s another thing entirely when the fandom makes a major plot point disappear. I mean, I don’t know what Alona Tal’s contract for season 2 was, but I do know that contracting for actors on a television series is affected by how many episodes they appear in. The number of episodes you’re in is also tied to things like pay rates (like those mandated by SAG) and where your name goes in the credits (top billing vs. end credits) Are you a guest star or a recurring character? Are you recurring or a series regular? Now, as a new character, it’s probable that Alona Tal was considered a guest star/recurring role and contract was per episode and not by the season - after all, that’s how the majority of the cast of The Office worked for all of season 1 and most of season 2. Angela, Oscar, Kevin, Meredith, Creed, Stanley, Phylis - they were all recurring characters, only contracted for each episode as it was being produced and they were in way more episode than Tal had in SPN. In fact, it was not until half way through season 2 (episode 11, “Booze Cruise”) that they were promoted to series regulars and received season-long contracts. But as the love interest for their lead, she was probably hired with the promise of getting promoted to series regular at some point in the future. Now imagine being Alona Tal, and finding out three episodes in that you’re not getting that season-long contract and you’re probably not coming back for season 3 because the fanbase is more into Brother-Lovin’ than your character. I mean. Guys.

Now can we really say that the Wincesters derailed a woman’s career? I don’t want to believe it, so I’m gonna say no. I am sure there was a lot of testing the character in key demographics and screenings with diverse audiences and graphs and charts and it wasn’t just that the producers of the show were endlessly scrolling through message boards on LiveJournal to see what kinks the fandom was into. I’m sure that was not the case because that is not the world I want to live in. But also, it definitely seems to have played a part. A REAL part. 

So let’s move back to television structure instead - why is this world building important? The key lies in a lot of the “prestige” shows that stream today. A lot of them have really strong first seasons, but a sophomore slump in their second seasons. Emily VanDerWerff calls out Stranger Things specifically, which had a tight, streamlined story that wrapped up so nicely at the end of season 1 that season 2 was left to flounder, trying to find its feet and its new story to tell. And they're not the only ones - this is a trend we see in a lot of premise driven shows.

How did we get here?The trend in shorter seasons has been really appealing to a lot of writers and directors who would typically work for feature length films. That means that a lot of the best shows are being written more like long-form movies than television series. The first season is a complete storyline from beginning to end with little deviation from the Main Quest. There’s less wandering like you’d see in a 22 episode season. Less of those filler/self-contained episodes where the writers get to explore new concepts and character work. This leaves less to detract from the single stream-lined story, but it also leaves little for the writers to explore once the season is done. When you wrap up all the loose ends by your season finale, you’re stuck wondering what’s left of the story to tell in future seasons? By not wrapping up the loose ends in “Devil’s Trap”, and by using these first 8 episodes to expand on more lore, allies, and world to inhabit, SPN is able to make space to create more story for years to come. 

NOW - can they keep that up for the next 14 seasons or will it get boring? Will we end up with comically overpowered heroes and villains that result in lower stakes? I mean, all of the characters die at LEAST once and come back, so how can SPN sustain the audiences’ concern for the characters when we’re never that worried for them? How much of the world is there left unexplored as you get farther into the series? How are they going to keep plots and arcs and characters new and fresh and exciting when we’re so familiar with everyone and everything? So many questions and so many episodes left to answer them! 

[doctorgerth]

Prompt Winner #6

Winner: @lethargichoneybabe

Prompt: Kissing Type - One small kiss, pulling away for an instant, then devouring each other 

Description: The complications of falling in love with your best friend.

Rating: angsty, fluffy, filthy - this contains a bit of it all! 

Warnings: me going overboard with angst as usual, lil bit of filth

Notes: Winner’s OC (Mercury) is main character; story has two brief time skips; the nsfw really isn’t that bad so I chose not to put a warning before it

Then Stay (Ace)

Prompt Story

(Word Count: 2808)

Do you ever think about staying like this forever?

Mercury resided in the arms of her best friend. She was supposed to feel content, happy, but a deep sadness tugged at her heart strings with the way Ace's fingers grazed against her skin in light brushes. Sleep was attempting to claim him, due to the comfort of having his best friend in his arms, but both found it difficult to even close their eyes; something was very wrong this time, both too terrified to call out the elephant in the room.

Whitebeard's crew was visiting for the second time that year. The crew visits her island two times a year for alliance business regarding her family. It also served as a pit stop, a small little island they could refuel and gain supplies at, so the crew typically stayed for a few days while visiting. Rowdy as they were, she always looked forward to every single visit as they brought a joy to her she couldn't experience anywhere else. Not to mention her best friend in the entire world resided along that ship, the infamous Portgas D. Ace.

Merc grew custom to Whitebeard visiting since she was a child, but Ace was a new addition around three years ago. She was used to the men on the crew being years ahead of her, but Ace was the first that was close to her own age. Needless to say, the friendship between the two was inevitable and instant. One of those connections that just feels natural, as if bound by fate. The one where you think, 'where have you been all my life?'.

For three whole years, Mercury has had to send away her best friend and impatiently wait for the next trip. Each visit has about a six month wait period in between, though at times it feels more like six years. It's only grown harder and harder for her to bear the thought of watching him sail away again; the fear of him never returning to her haunted her thoughts day and night.

Then why was Mercury so distant towards the one person she was most desperate to see again? Why was she pushing away the one person she wanted to see most? She counted the days down to the last hour before he arrived, but the moment their eyes connected and the way he greeted her, she couldn't deny the painful longing she felt.

"There's my best friend!"

A disappointed smile graced her lips when she landed in his embrace. Thankfully, he couldn't see the tears in her eyes while she buried her face into his ash-scented hair. That sentence should have made her beyond ecstatic, but it felt like a sharp knife to her chest. Why did such a loving welcome pain her so much?

"What's got you so worked up, Merc?" Ace broke the deafening silence, eager for reassurance. The fear of losing Mercury was beginning to bubble up and he couldn't subside it without consolation from her. Why was she treating him so differently this time? Did she not trust him anymore? Was she angry with him? Was there someone else?

She cursed herself mentally for being so blatantly obvious with her aloof demeanor. Merc had no intentions of making Ace worry, but she had no intentions of falling helplessly in love with him either.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She retorted, stiffening her body within his hold on her.

He sighed at her transparency, subtly tightening his grip, as if he was worried she would escape when she had the chance, "You know, I'm leaving tomorrow..."

A painful shot through the heart, "Yeah, I know." Her response was empty and that only killed Ace more. Mercury was typically an open book, and though it was obvious she was upset about something, just what that was left Ace haunted.

"I don't want to leave on a bad note. If something's bothering you, then I want to know about it." The way he talked at her so sternly made her feel so small, "I'm your best friend after all...right?"

There it was, the pure guilt. She should've known pushing Ace away was only going to increase his insecurities. Why couldn't things be normal? Why couldn't she just enjoy the time with her best friend? Why did she have to be so selfish and ache for something more?

"Of course you are, and I don't want you to leave on a bad note either." In fact, she didn't want him to leave at all; funny how she was pushing him further away despite needing him right there with her.

"Then talk to me." She didn't have to look into his eyes to know how pleading they were, how desperate they were for solace.

"I just..." but now wasn't the time to say it, she wasn't sure that any time would be the right time. So she suppressed her feelings for that night, for the sake of his happiness, "It's nothing. I just don't want you to go. It's always hard to say goodbye to you."

It was the truth, but there was more to it that Ace would never know. He snuggled his head into her hair, inhaling a deep breath of relief. It's not that he was happy about her sadness, but rather he was relieved knowing that she didn't seem upset with him. "It's always hard to leave you."

Then stay.

The words echoed in her brain like a harrowing lament, though she wanted to scream them out loud. They spent the rest of the night comforting each other until falling asleep, silently praying the sun would take it's time to rise. Mercury could learn to be content with this life; she would rather have him as her best friend than nothing else, after all.

* * *

When she awoke, the chill of the morning brushed across her skin at the lack of Ace's warmth. Her eyes adjusted to the blinding sunlight as they fixated onto a small piece of paper placed on her bedside table. The handwriting was sloppy, a distinct sign of Ace's penmanship, and she picked the note up with shaky hands.

Merc,

We had to board a bit earlier than expected today. I had a wonderful time these past three days. I hope you did too. I look forward to next time. See you in six months.

- Ace

Six months. Six more agonizing months away from Ace; her best friend, her whole heart. The idea of waiting that long to see his smiling face again made her sick to her stomach. For a moment, she contemplated laying in her bed for the rest of her day; wallow in her self-pity for not having the courage to confess her feelings to the one person who meant the most to her. But this couldn't be goodbye, this wasn't right. So, she ran towards the docks, begging for it to not be too late.

Her heart flipped seeing the massive ship still at port, it was as if the world was cheering for her; helping her and pushing her forward. She started to think maybe this was meant to be after all. Would the world be on her side for this confessional? From a distance, it seemed as if most everyone had boarded, with a few stragglers making their way up the loading dock. She was worried she wouldn't make it in time, so her feet carried her faster though her thighs were beginning to ache from overexertion.

She didn't know what she was thinking as she ran up the walkway, pushing through the crowd of crew members. She was hardly thinking at all, only about seeing Ace. What would she say to him? Would she be able to say anything at all? Merc attempted to formulate a plan, but everything seemed to leave her the moment she stepped on ship.

"Mercury? What are you-" She ignored Marco's questioning, rushing past him with purpose.

"Where is he? Where's Ace?" Her breathing was erratic and heavy, but she continued on, "Ace!"

Suddenly, the ship grew quiet at her pleading calls, allowing Ace to emerge into sight with a worried look on his face, "Mercury, what's wrong?"

Perhaps it was the adrenaline from rushing so hastily, or the crushing feeling of being under the curious eyes of every single crew member, but all sensible thoughts shut down as she stomped over to the freckled boy. His eyes widened for a moment while she grabbed his face in between her hands. There was no hesitation as she planted a small kiss on his surprised lips. It was rather quick due to her nervousness and she pulled away shakily to gauge his reaction. His eyes were even wider at this point, lips quivering and agape.

"I don't want you to go, Ace. I can't bear the thought of six months without you again."

Stunned, no words escaped his lips while he stared at her. She was still holding him in place, and though his lack of response was disheartening, the act of confessing was lifting a heavy weight off her shoulders, "Take me with you. I want to be with you, always. If you'll have me..."

Tears formed in her eyes, the flux of emotions making her all the more perturbed. She was so relieved to get this off her chest, so happy to have Ace so close, but also desperate for some kind of reaction from him. The drawn out silence was killing her.

Her mouth opened in a question, but then was shut quickly by Ace's lips. He kissed her softly, much as she did, and pulled back the same, gauging her reaction. Their eyes fluttered open to look at each other, and next thing they knew, they collided, practically devouring the other.

The roaring sound of excitement from the crew was deafened by the pair's own beating hearts and the fireworks going off in their heads. Their lips melded into each other's, finding a new home, their true home against one another. This was what was missing the whole time. Ace's arms snaked around her body, pulling her chest into his, while her fingers tangled in his hair. Everything seemed so right with the world in that very moment.

They pulled away for air, though he refused to loosen his grip on her, "I was hoping you'd say that." His best friend was in love with him too.

* * *

Amongst the cheers and celebrations, Ace and Mercury found themselves in his cabin aboard the Moby Dick. Their passions were aflame as they struggled to keep their lips and hands to themselves. Though all feelings were on the table now, they still craved more and more from each other as they roamed each other's bodies in fervor.

Mercury's back collapsed against the mattress, catching her by surprise, though the sudden weight of Ace atop her made her head swim. Their lips met once more in heated bouts of passion while they undressed each other. Merc seemed to gain her senses once realizing both she and her best friend were fully naked with one another for the first time. Ace noticed and couldn't prevent the flush from igniting his cheeks. He had loved her for so long, but having her like this was beyond a dream come true; almost unbelievable.

"Is it really me you want?" He whispered hesitantly against her lips.

He couldn't look her in the eye as he questioned this, terrified that maybe this was all just spur of the moment and she'd regret it in the morning. They were on the verge of crossing the line between best friends and lovers, and he needed to know she was truly okay with that.

Her soft fingers caressed the side of his face while he leaned into her touch, "I want you, Ace. Always."

A cheesy, but joyful smile spread across his lips. Tears were beginning to brim his eyes from the overflow of emotions, "I love you...so much, Merc. I have for so long."

"What!"

"What?"

Suddenly, a pillow collided with Ace's head, "Ouch, what's the deal?"

Though she was slightly pissed, Mercury couldn't contain the giddiness on her features, "I spent the past three days nearly killing myself over if I should confess to you or not! And you mean to tell me you've loved me all this time? Why didn't you say anything!"

Ace sat back onto his heels. Mercury was taken aback by the suddenly serious aura, "I thought there was no way you could love someone like me. I honestly figured you were so distant during this trip because you found out and you didn't want to hurt my feelings."

Those damned insecurities of his; she wanted nothing more than to take away all his pain, remind him everyday how incredible and loved he was. The two had their own failures, faults, and insecurities, but when together, they seemed to forget about all of it. Nothing ever completely went away, but they seemed to numb each other's pains and that was enough to make them feel bound to one another. That's what brought them here to this very point, united at last. If anything, they were created to love and cherish one another.

"Oh, Ace..." Mercury began, lacing her fingers with his. His eyes trailed sadly towards their joined hands, watching while his thumb rubbed against her skin for comfort, "I love you and I have loved you ever since the day I first met you. You're kind, funny, intelligent, full of surprises, and best of all, you make me feel at peace. You give me a purpose in this world and that purpose is to love you forever. When I'm with you, I feel at home. Right here is where I belong, with you. Don't ever doubt my feelings for you. I'll confess to you every day if I have to."

A small smile spread across his face and he brought their hands up to his lips for a soft kiss. His warmth returned to her body as he lowered himself back onto her torso, settling himself between her thighs, "Let me confess to you, then. I want to make love to you."

"Ace..." she whined, averting her eyes in embarrassment. An intense heat radiated throughout her entire being, god, why did he have to be so blunt?

She couldn't think coherently though as Ace buried his face into her neck to litter soft kisses along the delicate skin. She somehow smelled even sweeter like this, and he found himself intoxicated by her every scent, move, and sound. Ace was always warm to the touch, but the warmth that radiated from his skin onto her own was riveting to her. The two were completely captivated to have each other so intimately after all this time, so they didn’t hesitate to express their love for another through every kiss, touch, and passionate notion.

Ace rocked into her body with a gentleness she hadn't expected from such a ruffian as he. But each thrust was sensual and so full of love, she felt completely encapsulated by Ace's presence. He was everywhere around her all at once, and she bathed in the love he was pouring into her. Ace watched her every expression, and drunk in her every mewl and cry of pleasure while he made love to her. He was the one making her feel so good, and he intended to be the only one for the rest of their lives.

Her legs grew weak at the way he was looking down at her so lovingly, the way he praised her so adoringly. He truly loved her, she could feel it. Mercury prayed he could feel the love she had for him in return as she took every bit of him with eagerness; the way she kissed him and verbally expressed her love for him and the things he was doing to her. She dug markings into his skin out of desperation that he would wear with pride. They were markings of intimacy with the love of his life; there was nothing to be ashamed about with her.

The two reached their peaks together, the both of them reaching nirvana with cries of pleasure and loving exclamations. With their bodies still connected, and the after glow ever present on their faces, Ace whispered to her, "I don't deserve you."

A calloused hand trailed along her cheek in adoration, and before she could protest, he placed his forehead against hers, "But that won't stop me from loving you for the rest of my life."

She pulled him into her for one last reaffirming kiss. They proceeded to clean off their soaked bodies, smiling so contently at each other with each instance of eye contact. Mercury settled into the bed, finding herself genuinely tired for the first time in days, "I don't ever want to leave this bed."

"Then stay." He responded rather quickly with a sly smile on his face as he approached her snug figure. They could stay like this forever.