#{ I always get the worst anxiety because loud noises that I don't expect scare the shit out of me. }

[yuichiroswife]

{ God I fucking hate when my dad is in a bad mood because he literally becomes the worst people in the world towards literally everyone because of his bipolar disorder. }

[fatpingu]

My Secret Guardian

Chapter two - Those damn eyes

Warning: Explicit language, depression, anxiety and almost SA

The warmth from the sun made its way towards my bedroom. A thick sunbeam from the window was now pointed directly at my face, which made me wake up from my slumber. I really need to get some curtains.

Going back to bed wasn't even an option at this point, even though that was the only thing I wanted to do. My bedroom felt like a sauna and without curtains, there was no way that I could stay in that room. It wasn't even 7 o'clock yet, but the sun didn't care that it was my day off.

Might as well get some breakfast now that I'm up, I thought to myself as I got out of bed, the sweat already starting to form on my forehead.

I went to the kitchen, grabbed a Ready-to-Eat oatmeal and sat down at the small table in my tiny apartment. I actually hated oatmeal, but it was just so convenient and it kept me full until lunchtime. It wasn't because I couldn't cook. I was actually, in my own humble opinion, really good at cooking. But what was the point at spending so much time cooking for one person? Who in their right mind would voluntarily spend two hours on making a meal, just to sit by themselves to eat.

I wonder if Alexander likes to cook. My mind started to wander before I stopped myself. Why did I even care? He was 42 years old, there was a high chance that he knew how to fucking cook. It's a basic human skill.

As I finished my food, I looked around the apartment to find something to distract myself with. I usually just stayed at home on my days off, but there was something inside me this day, that wanted to actually do something productive.

As my eyes traveled through my apartment, they landed on my workout clothes. I hadn't worked out in a couple of months, the motivation just hadn't been there. Maybe a run down to the lake and back wouldn't be so bad, I told myself while my butt was still planted on the chair.

I thought about it for a good ten minutes before I walked over to put the clothes on.

The leggings were a little tight around the thighs and hips, but it still fit nonetheless. The shirt however wasn't in the best condition. How had I forgotten about the huge hole on the side? I reconsidered the idea of a run because I didn't have any other workout shirts.

I looked outside one of the windows to see the beautiful weather and other people running around. Men with no shirt and women in sports bras. It was a clear indication that it was hot outside, and that I also could just wear my sport bra. I put on the rest of my attire plus some headphones, and headed out the door.

Either I'm really out of shape or the lake is further away than I anticipated, I said breathlessly to myself as I tried to run. It didn't really help that the sun was burning my entire body while I struggled to catch my breath through the thick air.

The fact that I remembered to put on a cap was a blessing. I would always forget to put on a hat, no matter what weather I was traveling in. The only downside to wearing a cap, was that I could feel the sweat round the area where it touched my skin. Gross.

My phone started to ring and I stopped to catch my breath before answering. I looked at my phone for a moment to see who was calling, a thing I always did to avoid talking to people I didn't like. It wasn't a number that was coded into my phone, and I also hadn't seen it before. I hesitated at first, but answered it anyway. It could've been for a job interview from one of the places I had applied for.

"Hello?" I answered, trying my hardest not to sound too exhausted.

"Oh! Uhm.. Hi! It's Alexander.. From work!" A deep voice stammered from the other end of the call.

"What do you want?"

"I-I know it's your day off but-"

"It is. So why are you calling me?"

"I got my new laptop today, but I don't know how to set up my account."

"Okay? And that is my problem because?

"I wanted to ask if you could come in and help me? You probably have a better understanding about this technology than me."

"Can't you just get another person to help you?" I started to get irritated. Why did he need my help for something so basic? I wasn't the only one at the office who knew how a damn computer worked.

The line was silent for a little bit before he finally answered me.

"No one has time to help me. And you were the first person I thought of calling."

Was I really going to go to work on my day off, just so I could help him with his fucking account? I thought for a second, and then sighed loud to make sure he knew he annoyed me.

"Fine," I groaned as I hung up the phone. I hated it already because I knew that I didn't have time to run back to my apartment, take a shower, jump in my car and then go to my workplace. I had to run over there.

I finally made it to the building's entrance after I had run for what had felt like an eternity, but in reality only was for about ten minutes.

I took a deep breath before entering, preparing myself for all the eyes that were going to be looking at me.

I quickly walked towards Alexander's office, looking down and hiding my face with my cap so none of my coworkers recognized me. I was too annoyed already, so I didn't even bother knocking on the door before entering.

The door flung up and he jumped in his seat, clearly startled by the sudden loud noise in his quiet office. That's fucking karma, I snickered to myself, thinking about all the times he had scared me the day before.

It was a much cooler atmosphere at the office than it was outside.

Thank the lords for air conditioning.

We stared at each other for quite a while without either of us saying anything. I looked at his shirt, expecting another band T-shirt, but was slightly disappointed when I saw that it was just a plain green polo. My eyes traveled up to his face to see something quite unexpected. A pair of black rimmed glasses. I hadn't seen him with those on before, so I almost didn't recognize him.

He looked at my face when his gaze suddenly started to travel downwards to my sports bra. I hadn't even thought about my outfit before agreeing to help him with his computer. As he probably came to the realization of where his eyes were, he adjusted himself in his chair and looked back at my face.

"Nice glasses," I teased, trying to get out of the awkwardness that was floating around. His eyes widened and he quickly reached for his glasses and took them off. "They're for reading," he said while smiling at me.

I grabbed a chair and went over to the side of him, sat down and pulled the laptop over to be in front of me.

As I was typing, I could feel his eyes going from the computer to the side of my face, over and over again, like he couldn't decide what to look at. I chose to ignore him and just focus on setting up his work account.

"What do you want your password to be?" I asked, still not looking at him. He scooted a little closer to me to look at the screen.

"How about.." he thought long and hard before saying "How about your name?"

I took my hands off the keyboard and turned my head, cocking a brow.

"Why?" I asked confusedly. He looked up from the screen and gazed into my eyes. We were inches away from each other at this point.

"Because I like your name. And it's easy for me to remember," he muttered.

I was sucked into his eyes once again. Those damn eyes.

His stare switched between my eyes and my mouth as he leaned a little closer. I bit my lip, staring down at his, but before anything happened, I pulled away and looked back at the computer.

There was a moment of silence before I started to type on the keyboard.

"My name it is then," I said, trying to ignore the fact that my heart was almost beating out of my chest.

Alexander cleared his throat and moved a little further away from me, clearly embarrassed by my rejection.

I tried to pace through the rest of the set up as quickly as possible, wanting to escape the awkward energy that flowed through the room.

"All done!" I exclaimed, pushing the laptop back to Alexander. I got up and almost ran towards the door.

"Tha-thank you!" He stuttered and got up himself. "Wait!" I stopped before grabbing the door handle, turning my head slowly to look at him.

"I was wondering if you wanted to grab a beer tonight," he shyly asked. I was really contemplating my answer. I studied the look on his face, it was clear that he really wanted me to say yes. What was the worst thing that could happen? It was only a beer.

"Sure," I said softly, shifting my weight between my feet. His face lit up by my response and he almost couldn't contain his excitement.

"Should I pick you up?" he asked while nervously twisting his fingers.

"No I'll just meet you there. Joels Pint Parlor? Seven o'clock?" I requested. He nodded as he sat back down in his chair.

"See you there," he smiled. I smiled back at him and walked out of his office.

"Why did I agree to this?" I sighed while putting on my makeup. The sudden realization of what I was getting ready for hit me like a ton of bricks.

I wanted to look nice, but then again, why would I even bother. I had agreed to have a beer with my boss, nothing more, nothing less. I didn't need to put any effort into my appearance, because I wasn't going to try to impress him. But why did I actually want to?

I put down my makeup brush and stared at myself in the mirror. I had my eyebrows done, mascara and eyeliner on and a little bit of lipstick. Do I need more? I thought to myself while studying my own face. No, this is fine. It's only for a beer.

The clock started getting close to 6:30 pm and I started to get more nervous. I had switched between several outfits before finding one that was a little more sexy than my usual work attire. It was a pair of black shorts with a loose white shirt that had a type of V-neck and a pair of wedge sandals. Who was I kidding? I wanted to look good and a little cleavage never hurt anybody.

I grabbed my purse and car keys and headed out the door. I knew I would be there way to early, but just sitting around and waiting in my apartment was going to be torture for my nerves.

The bar wasn't as crowded as I had feared, but then again it was also a Thursday.

I walked towards the bar to find a place to sit, and low and behold there were two seats free right at the bar counter.

I sat down on one of the chairs and placed my purse on the other so no one could sit there. I looked around the room to observe the different kinds of people that were hanging around this bar.

Maybe this was a bad idea, I thought to myself as I got eye contact with some creepy looking men, sitting in one of the corners of the bar, having a conversation about something that looked like it would be gross to hear.

One of the men stood up from his seat and proceeded to walk towards me, smiling all creepily. My gut twisted and I started to shake a little. I was really scared of strangers, especially men, and especially creepy looking men. He was getting really close and I froze in my seat.

"Hey baby! What's a fine piece of ass doing at a bar all by herself?" he said with a smug on his face.

"I-I uhm.." I stuttered. I was so scared that I couldn't form a decent response.

"How about we get out of here, huh? You look like you could use a really good fucking," he said, leaning closer towards me.

"Ple-please leave m-me alone," I almost cried, tears starting to form in my eyes. His grin faded as he looked behind me.

"You heard her. Leave!" a deep voice growled behind me. I look back to see Alexander, looking a lot angrier than usual. The creepy man didn't budge, he just stared at Alexander and then back at me.

"Is this your boyfriend?" he asked irritatedly while pointing. I was still frozen, but managed to make a small nod while looking at the floor. While tsking, he leaves the bar counter and heads back to his friends.

Alexander moves my purse from the other chair and sits down, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" he asks while trying to make eye contact with me. What is it with those words when they come from him? I can feel the concern in his voice that I haven't felt in others when asking me the same. I didn't answer him with words. I just looked at him and nodded.

Alexander raised his hand to catch the bartender's attention so he could order something to drink.

"Two beers please," he requested and turned back to face me again.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I jus-"

"Don't worry about it."

Our small conversation got interrupted when the bartender sat down two pints of beer in front of us. I took a huge gulp of beer to calm my nerves. Who would have thought that I left my apartment early so my nerves wouldn't get the best of me, just to have them destroyed by a creepy man because I left early.

"We agreed to seven o'clock and I just happened to be here before you. Seriously, you don't need to apologize."

Alexander took a swig of his beer and looked back at me again.

"I mean it! If I had just been here ten minuets earlier this wouldn't have happened."

"You look good tonight," he beamed. "Not that you don't normally look good! It's just.. I really like your outfit! But it's a shame it isn't very professional," he smirked, taking another sip of his beer.

I slapped his arm, making him spill a little. "I know what I said about your clothes was rude, okay?" I acknowledged while trying to hide my smile because of his joke.

"It's okay, you're right. My clothes aren't very professional and I do need to buy some proper stuff. It would be an honor to have you as my guidance tho," he said while swirling his beer.

I chose to lower my guard because I actually felt really comfortable being around him at this point. "I would love that," I said while smiling at him.

We had been at the bar for about two hours, laughing and talking about random stuff. I had found out that Alexander had been in the military when he was 22 and that he was really passionate about music. That definitely explained the band T-shirts.

"No! Queen is definitely better than David Bowie!"

"Are you out of your mind!? 'The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars' is a fucking masterpiece of an album and beats everything that Queen has ever made!"

"Look. 'Innuendo' is literally so amazing! 'The show must go on'? What about 'I'm going slightly mad'?"

"If you want to talk about Queen albums, at least mention the best one! 'A Night At The Opera'? Don't you like 'Love of my life'?"

"I.. don't.." I turned my head to face my almost empty beer glass on the countertop. "That song reminds me of some dark times that i would rather forget."

I could feel Alexander's hand on my thigh. Normally, I would've smacked him across the head for doing that, but didn't feel like it. His hand was very warm and soft against my bare skin.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned my head to look at him.

"It used to be one of my favorite songs because of the emotions that it packed.. But then my boyfriend left me a couple years ago and suddenly, the lyrics hit too close to home. And still does."

Alexander angled his eyebrows upwards.  "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, squeezing my thigh in a pitying way.

"I don't."

"Do you have any kids?" I asked, wanting to turn the conversation around.

"Do you want any?"

"And your wife is cool with that?"

"I can't have kids, and he wasn't very thrilled about that. I had told him in the beginning of our relationship and he told me then, that he didn't mind. Apparently he did." I swung back the rest of the warm beer and almost threw the glass back at the counter.

"I don't have one"

"You don't have a wife?"

"Not really."

"No. We got divorced about five years ago"

"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to be so nosy." My face was turning red. It was probably a mix between the beer and the sheer awkwardness I had created.

I looked at Alexander, and to my surprise, he didn't seem bothered about my questions.

"It's getting late and I have work tomorrow," I stated as I fumbled with my purse, trying to find some money for the beers. I placed the money on the counter and stood up from the chair. I started walking out of the bar and Alexander walked right behind me.

We both walked towards the parking lot behind the bar to get to our cars.

"Will you text me when you get home? Just so I know you made it home safe?" Alexander asked while fiddling with his car keys. I wanted to make a sarcastic comment, but I could see on his face that he was dead serious about my safety.

"I don't have your number," I said.

"It's the same number that I called from earlier today," he smiled, still playing with his keys.

I smiled back and unlocked my car. "Sure."

I got in my car and drove off. Just like the day before, Alexander didn't get into his car before I had driven off.

When I came back to my apartment, I looked through my purse for my house keys. They weren't there.

Did I forget them at the bar? I checked my purse again until it hit me. I never took my keys with me. Only my car keys. Fuck!

My apartment door was that annoying kind that didn't need a key to lock it. It locks by itself. That meant that I was locked out of my apartment, and the landlord wasn't available until tomorrow morning.

What the fuck do I do now!? My pulse started to jump and I could feel myself getting lightheaded. I didn't have any family or friends that lived near by. They all lived around three hours away.

"Hello?"

"Hey Alexander. It's me."

Chapter three