#[it's not quite midnight here but i figured i'd get a post up in case i fell asleep]

[universal-wills]

"To good fortune in the coming year."

[savvivixen]

I recently watched a YouTube video that talked about this tricky thing called "skill regression." As I listened and paused, listened and paused, I really started to get a grasp on why I might be so terrible at seemingly everything at this point. As I've learned to heal from several traumas, I find myself backsliding on routines and skills that I once thought were ingrained deeply enough they'd be solid habits, but I see that's not quite the case.

Hygiene: Thought it was a routine I did for myself. Turns out, it was 90% a fawn response to be bullied less from others. Now that I rarely leave the house, major discomfort and possible company seems to be my only motivaters these days, and it's an incredibly embarassing aspect of myself I have to face. At the very least, major personal discomfort is a motive at all, since I've been trained to ignore my own needs for the sake of others around me.

Food: I thought I had strong cooking skills and habits. I do not. I have strong survival senses... for my loved ones. I won't let my loved ones go hungry for a single meal if I can help it, but will take 24-36 hours to make a meal for myself if I don't have enough energy for the prep. I would eat 12 hours of a video game before I spend 1 hour of cooking for myself. I realize I associated my mealtime with others' mealtimes, and won't eat regularly if I don't need to feed someone else. I'm practicing eating twice a day now, but...

Sleep schedule: Incredibly irregular. Be it when or how long I sleep, it's sooo inconsistent. I figured out my sleep schedules have always been dictated by someone's job (my mother's, my schooling, mine, my SO's), which has occupied almost every shift on the 24-hour clock at this point. My sleep schedule seems to be fueled by FOMO now, and it's got me messed up. I can go to sleep at 12am and wake up at 1pm, or I can go to sleep at 4:30am am wake up at 11am. I've had several instances of falling asleep at 2:30pm and waking up a 10pm too. Just... Nothing feels right. I'm struggling to find my natural circadian rhythm, but I'm not confident I can even hold on to THAT much, because "bedtime" and "sleep" seem to be strongly schema'd with "job" and "work schedule," which may be why I'm so all over the place. I've been untethered for almost 3 whole years.

Housekeeping: No. Function-only. If it's not the main attention, I don't see it. If I see too much to do at once, I get overwhelmed amd it's invisible. Why am I like this? For the longest time, I'd cry "I don't know," and tear at myself for being a malfunctioning eyesore of human equipment. Nowadays, I wonder if growing up in a house that was unfinished for a long time, spent more time fitting "condemned" qualifications than passing inspections, and being smacked up with "eldest daughter syndrome" has anything to do with it...

There's sooooo much more I could mention, but really thinking about and typing this stuff out is helping me actually look at my shortcomings and think "Maybe I need a strong dose of grace" instead of "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU??? WHY ARE YOU EVEN STILL HERE????!" All of these things and more I have already been bullied, teased, ostricised, preyed upon, punished, and criticized for (more times by my closer bonds than anyone else, including myself), and I'm sure some will treat my post no differently. But here's hoping "Midnight Savvi" can be of help to somebody out there needing a particular direction to take their healing journey. "Love and Peace!!"

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch. 2

Ch.2

DontCryDontCryDontCry

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Y/n pov

First day at U.A. high. This is actually going to be so sick, think of all the boys and girls and weird quirks. Best of all I get to meet boom boom. Hopefully I don't do that thing where I think about him so much I forget we don't know each other, that would be embarrassing. 

I smile to myself as I approach the tall building with students flooding in and out. A couple of kids seemed to notice how strange I looked, I didn't have the uniform yet because my mother refused to let me have it. She told me I'd have to get it from her during school so she could show her students how dope her kid was. 

Not sure if I should be flattered though. Mom always compliments me like I actually did something to have the power I have. When really all I did was not die. Usually the interaction goes -

"Oh my god, honey you are so fucking cool, look how good you control your quirk, you train so hard!"

"Yea mom, it's crazy how after psychopaths try to breed you at ten years old you learn a thing or two about combat."

Then her face falls into a deadpan to cover her guilt and we move on. Sarcasm is honestly one of my all time favorite coping strategies. Like you can even make it better by not making any facial expression so people's minds are just fully fucked. 

My outfit couldn't feel more out of place right now, but I obviously notice the profuse blushing of boys and girls as I make my way through the halls of U.A. If my bestie was here I'm sure people would be fainting, since she makes a habit of dressing in fishnets and chains. I guess I could wear clothes like that but im tired most of the time. So if I don't have to dress up, I won't. 

However that doesn't mean I still don't look good. Well, at least I think I do...

This morning I was lazy so I just threw on Baggio black jeans, a cropped tee, and a baseball jersey that I got from when I flew with my dad to America. We watched the game together, but I kinda zoned out the whole time. Of Course I added a couple chains just in case I get to be on top of somebody. Hehe call that ✨funcional fashion✨

Dw of course I took a picture in the morning to post on insta and brag to my old friends about how I got out of that hell. 

I rushed in a door that said 1-b just before I heard a bell go off. The door shut behind me with a loud thud the second the bell stopped. That is one way to get attention, I guess. I didn't even care to take in the faces of the students in front of me. After all, I was only here for one reason. I skimmed the room trying to find that ominous glare, but to no avail. My first thought was that maybe he wasn't in class today. That was before I peeked out the window of the door and realized there were more than one hero classes here. 

If he is in the other class, I'll just have to be in there too. Is this stalking? Yes. Will it end badly? Probably yes. However, do I have anything to really lose? Nope. Not a single thing.

"Katsuki Bakugou." I figured I'd say it out loud with a Stern face, just to see if the teacher would be intimidated enough to take me to him. 

The teacher and the rest of the class visibly tensed at my stare, but apparently I wasn't intimidating enough. 

"Whatever business you have can be settled after class. Now, students, this is the newest addition to class 1-b y/n l/n."

"No."

"Pardos me Ms. L/n"

"I said no, im not gonna be an addition to your dumb class" I mocked him 

He then sent me a very odd face, in which he pursed his lips but simultaneously glanced at his students in fear. I suppose they might not be pleased at my rejection, but that's irrelevant. I'm not here for them. 

"Oh, so you think you're too good for us!? Huh?"

"Yes."

"Class 1-a scum can have you, you vial worthless, dumb, fat, stup-"

Some angry blonde kid was interrupted by an aggressive bonk on his head. I glanced to his side and made eye contact with a girl, she was quite pretty, but not prettier than boom boom. 

"Cool, okay so i'm gonna go to the other class then....sir?"

"Pft, you wish. Sit down. Now."

"I literally didn't ask dude...sir."

"Adding sir doesn't make what you're saying any less disrespectful, now sit down."

I pouted a bit in realization that he wasn't as dense as the police usually are. However that didnt mean I wanted to listen. Plus if I got in trouble, that might be even more fun. 

"Again. No." 

Suddenly I felt a hard push on my back, I fell to the floor and felt a foot pushed against my back. 

"Nooo.Mom, please. Not right now."

"I came here to teach historia you brat."

She took her other leg and swung it back, leaving all her body weight on my back. Then launched it forward to meet with my side just as she took her top foot off my back. I felt the contact of her boot on my bare side and felt the tingle of what I assume is pain rattle through my left side, to my right. Only to be cut off when a new sore of pain spread through my back. 

That was what I assumed was my body slamming against the front wall of the class. I kept my eyes clenched shut the whole time, only flinching the impact of the wall. I bounced right off and landed on the floor. 

"Yea...okay," I said between groans. 

*timeskip*

Lunch 

Midoriya pov 😗

It was finally lunch time after miss midnight taught us history. It wasn't my favorite subject, but I still look at pretty good notes. I'll be sure to read over them later in case we have a pop quiz or something. 

This lunch period is kinda more exciting than usual because I heard rumors that there is a new hero course student, and new additions don't happen often, so he is probably really good. 

After getting my food from lunch rush, I rushed over to my table where me, uraraka, iida, and todoroki sit everyday.

I plopped the food down onto the table and followed by sitting down and saying hi to my friends. It didn't take that long into their strange conversation about water volcanoes and cheese for me to zone them out in search of the new face. 

I don't really know everyone at U.A. that would be crazy. Still, I feel like I have enough knowledge to spot an obviously new face. Plus he is probably with the 1-b students right now. I scan over the whole lunch room, eager to say hi, but I don't see any new guys, or any new faces at all. 

Maybe the rumors were just rumors. That's really a bummed, I was hoping I could get yet another cool quirk to write about in my journal. 

Most of lunch was spent with my friends talking about weird things called memes (he calls them me me's) and me trying desperately to find the new guy. 

Until lunch was just about to end and in came a girl out of uniform, but she seemed to hold one in her hand. She looked fairly (tall/short) and had pretty (h/l) white hair. It seemed almost to glow as she walked in. To me the whole scene played slow motion, her hair bouncing up and down as she walked and the sports baggy jeans risking and falling. They teasingly revealed her belly button every other step as they lifted and sunk. 

I sorta wished she would have just put her uniform on because I feel pretty stupid for staring at her belly button. 

Her face was pretty too, catching the light above on her cheek bones(im sorry if u dont have prominent ones, just take out bones and leave it as cheeks) making her seem shiny.

I felt my face heat up uncontrollably before I felt a nudge on my thigh. 

"Hey deku, I heard that the new girl is actually a midnight daughter. She is in class b, and I guess this morning midnight kicked her against a wall." Uraraka whispered in my ear, loud enough for just the people at our table to hear.

Now that I think about it, everyone was whispering. 

"Midnight's daughter. Wahhh! Then she must have a quirk like midnights. If she does then it'll be hard for our classes to keep up with her. Midnights quirk is strong and considering the already rising testosterone level in the boys in 1st year, we could all-"

"Shut up you damn nerd"

I cut off my rambling and looked up to make eye contact with kachan. Why is he even over here? Is he here to beat me up? Or to get ochako? 

"Katsuki, that's not nice, plus he is right, what if she can seduce us."

Kachan only furrowed his brows, however me, iida, and even todoroki a little went red with the image in our minds. 

"Izuuukuuu"

"Baby, why do you keep looking at my belly button"

"Do you wanna show me how cool your quirk is"

"Nn Gg plus u-ultra"

Oh no. No. No. No. No. Well....wait. no. 

I took a quick glance back at the girl who had halted her movements. She seemed like she was frozen and had a big, wide smile plastered on her face. It was pretty cute. Like a little kid looking at candy. 

It almost felt like she was looking at me, but I didn't wanna wave, in case she wasn't. 

"Oh my, holy fuck, I knew this would pay off!!!!" She yelled, not even minding that the whole cafeteria now had eyes on her. 

She began running over to ...my table? Again it was slow motion, and again I kept looking at her stomach. I guess I don't see girls in short shirts often. I felt myself un-blush forcibly just for, you know, protection from bullies. 

"Boom boom, shit, I Promised I wouldn't do that. Fuck it. Hi, im l/n y/n and you are boom boom. Wait...."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING POOP YOU FUCKING EXTRA!"

My eyes can't pick who to look at and they keep going back and forth between the girl and kachan as they ....communicate. 

"No I called you boom boom." She dead panned 

"THE FUCK, YOU THINK YOUR CLEVER ON SUM SHIT?"

"Well, I am, and I do." Again the girl seemed completely serious. 

"WHO THE-"

"Wait, let's go back. You call people extras? Like in a movie, so then you think your the star."

"I AM THE FUCKING STAR YOU WORTHLESS PIECE O-"

"Babe, that's so much better! You're conceited too." She gushed 

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING BA-" bakugou almost launched forwards but ochako grabbed his arm to pull him back. 

"You are kinda loud, but I guess that makes sense. Hey! I know, tell me something about yourself"

"STOP FUCKING INTERUPTING ME!"

"Oh, my bad hon, go on." She looked up at him like...oh. He is the candy she was looking at. 

"Fucking hell, im not your babe or your hun, extra. I'm not telling you shit about myself. Fuck you think this is, the sharing circle?"

The girl didn't speak for a minute, her face was quick to go from anticipating, to confused. What was she confused about? 

"I have a new idea" she instantly had a change of aura and her serious face remained, with one eyebrow cocked. 

She lifted her hand and pointed a finger at bakugou, then slowly walked forward. 

"How. About. You. Tell me what you are sharing..." she winked "circle is." 

I noticed that Ochaco , who was now a coward behind the kachan , flushed red. I don't think she was for the same reason as everyone else though. I could tell she was trying to be angry, but seemed to be failing. Bakugou seemed to notice this too.

I wonder why this girl is flirting with him right now, and what was with that nickname. 

"H-hey. Um do you two know each other or something."

"No" they replied simultaneously. 

"I-um..huh?"

"Oh, right, my bad. Hi, I already introduced my name, but I should explain. You are the attractive fire quirk boy I saw at the sports festival. When I saw how angry you looked, and the fucking DOPE aura you gave off, I begged to get transfered here. Got in on recomendaciones so I could meet you." She said not seeming to care about how truly creep that all sounds. 

"THE FUCK, YOU STALKER!ILL KILL YOU!" kachan screamed, subtly grabbing onto his girlfriend's hand, I suppose an effort to comfort her without being 'nice' 

"Hm? Oh...yeah. Well, you could say I am like a stalker. However, for a stalker i'm very pretty, so if you could just ignore that..."

"YOU AREN'T PRETTY BRAT, GO SUCK A DICK AND GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Well, that is what I came to you for..." she, again, had a serious aura change and a cocked eyebrow, this time retracting her finger to put her hands in her pockets. 

"I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YOU SLUT" 

"Woah, woah, hey, calm down"

I get that he is trying to be protective, but calling a girl a slut is never okay. I wish I could fight back more, but it's not every hero- like to do so without talking first. 

"SHUT UP NERD" 

After that small exchange everybody's attention fell back to the girl. I think her name was y/n. She looked a bit defeated, I could tell she had a crush on kachan, even if it was small. Her face is blank but usually in situations like this girls get all...tears eyed and. Oh no. 

I stood up right next to her. 

"Dontcrydontcrydontcrydontcry"

"Huh?" She looked over at me confused. 

"Dont cry?"

"Why would I cry?"

"Because he has a girlfriend" Ochaco  seemed to be making her way out from behind kachan, also a bit nervous for if y/n was to get sad. 

"Oh, uhm, I guess i'll just have to be the better person for him or something?" She ...asked herself.

"I've never done this before, but the look in your eyes has a fire behind it, and I wanna see it up close. I'm not gonna give up, we only spoke this once and that's definitely not enough." She made eye contact with him the whole time. Even stated her words like fact. Now, it may have just been me, but he almost smirked. 

"That's all, see you in class later!" In class? She is in 1-b? Did she transfer? 

Ochaco  was now side by side with bakugou looking furious at the new girl. While I eerily peeked up at him and his scary red eyes. They did a quick, up and down movement...I don't think anyone else could have seen it, but I did. Then he went down again and stayed there a bit, he was looking straight past me, so I turned. 

There I saw...the new girls butt! He? He checked out her- oh no. Why do I feel like this is the start of something terrible for me....

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Hello new readers, it is me...the autor. Anyone who is ready for this is my favorite bc I don't get many ready. Also sorry for the horny midoriya, if I'm making the characters not innocent, he isnt an exception lmao. 

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