#[could totally use this move for krump--]

[sytycdfeelz]

LA Auditions #2

I missed blogging the first episode, but I’m back and excited to geek out with all of you!

Tessa, Contemporary - I was automatically rooting for her because she’s a UCLA student, but DAMN did she deliver! There were so many moves in there that I have never seen in 10+ years of watching this show. The level of control was out of this world, and she was so engaging. And, she’s only 18?! Usually the kids are a little raw, but she seems SO mature. I’d be surprised if she doesn’t make Top 20. GO BRUINS!!!

Jay Jay, Jazz - Obviously he was going to be good when they revealed he toured with Shaping Sound, but I really appreciated the FUN in that solo. Usually the Shaping Sound kids are a little more serious and emo, but you could see how much he enjoyed performing. And every beat of that solo was choreographed to perfection. The musicality was on point. Also another probable Top 20 candidate, imh.

Courtland and Nathan, Animation - This was a cute story and a fun routine, but like Nigel said, it wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before. I actually thought there was a little too much punching / kicking choreo. They were definitely interesting to watch, and I think going to the Academy was the right choice. Not sure how far they’ll go (*starts singing Moana*), but maybe they’ll surprise us?

Hannahlei, Jazz - This was exactly the tupe of jazz / contemporary I really enjoy watching on this show. Strength, beauty, NO angsty faces, and mad skill. If I have one critique it would be that she didn’t engage with the judges or audience quite enough, but I don’t think it took away from any part of the performance. 

The montage of the girls whose songs didn’t get licensed was especially excellent. I can’t wait to see them all compete at The Academy. If I had to guess, I’d say there’s a Top 20′er among them.

CJ, Hip Hop / Krump - We haven’t had Krump in awhile, and it was nice to see it again. I really thought he did enough to make it through to the Academy, but the judges called it uncontrolled and not strong enough. I’m really not sure why. 

Dustin, Animation - I always say this, but I just love the older contestants. Especially ones that are really out there working to be dancers. You can just see how much it means to them to be performing, and their maturity really shines through. I loved this audition and totally agree with Mary that it was mesmerizing. He is definitely a dark horse for the Top 20, especially if he’s been working hard on the other styles as well. 

Nicole, West Coast Swing - What the actual F??? The was the craziest series of tricks and moves I think I’ve ever seen on this show. They looked like they could have been a cirque du soleil act! I liked the creativity of the music too. It’s pretty hard to stand out on the same dance floor as Benji Schwimmer, but I honestly barely even looked at him. She is a STAR, and I’d say a lock for the Top 20.

I’m so happy this show is back, and I can’t wait for NY auditions next week! Who were your favs tonight???

[meissnerd]

I'm never watching super hero movies ever again

This movie opens with superman screaming as he dies in another DC movie, I don't know which one. But he's dead because he's such a conceptually bad character that he doesn't allow other characters to do anything if he's in play so I get it

Batman and Aquaman meet in Iceland. Aquaman is tricking the locals into forming a sex cult when batman rains on his parade. The Icelanders also all live in the same shack with no electricity because it's 1821

Later Aquaman can be found scaring a different group of Europeans, thank you for your service aquaman

The next scene that I can remember (because this fucking movie is FOUR HOURS LONG is) is an extended sequence of a fleet of Amazons being killed by Darkseid after awakening a cube. I think they explained what the cubes are but again, this movie is four hours long

Ancient laments

Ben Affleck is batman and gets some laughs by looking extremely depressed

We find out that cyborg died in a car crash and his dad decided to traumatise him by bringing him back to life so that he could experience the trauma of becoming an orphan

Wonder Woman finds out about all the dead amazons and I think is concerned. It's hard to tell with Gadot's wooden ass acting!!!!!!

There's one part where wonder woman krumps to deflect some bullets

We meet the flash who was alright. The best scene in the movie was when he stole a woman's hot dog.

Showing how fast the flash is by making him move slowmo sucked

Cyborg the literal Trauma Machine is angry at the world at first but then wonder woman talks to him and he's chill enough to do his thing, which is to get his ass kicked by darkseid

There's a will they/won't they with wonder woman and batman. It contributes nothing

Batman's voice synthesizer is hilariously bad and makes him sound like a transformer

I seriously can't remember the last two hours of this film because by that time the dull pressure I'd been feeling was pushing down on my entire head

Steppenwolf wants to terraform the earth or something for his dad Darkseid using the mother cubes. They say 'mother box' a lot in this movie

They fight Steppenwolf a shitload of times. Cyborg gets his ass kicked a lot, the rest of them less so

I have no idea how they ressurrect superman but he comes back. Lois Lane is pregnant???? also

Superman doesn't know what's going on because he lost his memory and naturally lashes out at the dorks around him. He's calmed down by Lois showing up and starts wearing flannel as a punishment for his sins

The Aquaman movie was pretty fun but in this he's just a prick who takes his shirt off a lot. The underwater scenes, with their suggestion of blue, were the most vibrant scenes in this movie which was otherwise lit like an abandoned drug den

Flash and Cyborg by this time have dealt with their dad trauma. Everyone goes to fight steppenwolf

By this point I was really flagging. They go to fight Steppenwolf but he won't die until superman comes back. Everyone collectively punches Steppenwolf through a portal and Darkseid scowls at them like |(

Then there's an alternate universe, I think because of the cubes (NOT SURE BEXAUSE AGAIN TBIS WAS FOIR HOURS LONG)

Deadshot is there, I don't know why because he won't do shit against superman

Jared Leto joker is also there proving that meritocracy in our society is a myth. He's a very shitty actor

At the end Ben Affleck meets Martian Manhunter who did some shit of no consequence in this film.

Snyder uses Hallelujah as the end credits song because it's not like it's totally run into the ground. He also already used it in Watchmen that fraud!!!!!

I found this to be a miserable film to look at. It's got the muted, gunmetal colour palette that everything has nowadays, compounded with how dogshit digital film looks.

At this point they should just show the sound stages and save money by not doing CGI if green screen is going be totally unable to allow me to suspend my disbelief

This movie really killed any remaining interest I had in superheroes, even the X-Men. Maybe they're better served in comic books maybe these 50+ year old characters are played out.

This is the worst movie i've seen since the last star wars. It's probably worst because the last Jedi didn't make me write a stupid preview from the sheer frustration it made me feel

FOUR FUCKING HOURS I could've watched 12 episodes of a good show in that time that's a damn season bullFUCK

[astro-ocean]

11 Questions

RULES Always post the rules Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you Write 11 questions of your own Tag 11 people (or however many you want)

I was tagged by @beckettsthoughts !! this was fun to do, so thanks, lol

Ok so I know that this might take a while to answer so to those I’m tagging i totally don’t blame you if you don’t feel like doing this lol, @venterry @peridapple @penguin2024 @kitty-divine @hesitantollie @high-metafive @momomomoomoo @itsthevoiid @girl-nese @dominicunt-republic @anathemic-hearts

The questions you guys answer are at the bottom btw

Questions I’m answering

1. Do you remember your dreams? If so, what’s the weirdest dream you can remember?

THIS IS LONG SO SKIP THIS IF YOU DONT LIKE READING. 

Yes, bc most of my dreams are very vivid. Ok so in my dream, my family and I were going to visit Willy Wonka’s factory. We parked in this extremely large parking lot, right in front of the factory (which looked like the one from the 2005 movie even though we were visiting the one from the 70′s and is in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by forests), but in order to get to the it we had to cross under a fence made out of electricity. So we all had to like shimmy underneath it, only when I went I got electrocuted, and I remember that I felt actual physical pain when this happened??? So we go inside and have a good time. Willy Wonka is there (the Gene Wilder one), theres a huge ass chocolate funnel, and a ball pit for some reason (???) and everyone was having fun. The weird thing though is the factory looked like a McDonalds play land place bc everything was made out of plastic and no one else was there for some reason. Anyway after what felt like a couple of hours, we decide to leave. The parking lot electricity fence is down, so we don’t have to risk electrocution, but, however, we find that there are around 20 race cars with angry oompa loompas in them, surrounding the parking lot. My family thinks this is weird and they all naruto run to the car (???) and leave without me?? So in this fucking blue minivan they ram into the race cars and escape, leaving me behind. I then am suddenly aware that Wonka’s factory is in the state of Kentucky, and realize that I have a long walk home to Maryland. I grab my phone out of my pocket, which is this, and try to call my parents, who do not pick up. After this, I literally have a movie montage of me walking home through suburban roads, only when it ends, I”m only on the road that leads to Wonka’s factory. Suddenly, a white van pulls up and the door opens to reveal 20 boy scouts who tell me i’m an honorary member and pull me in. They speed down the road, only for the oompa loompa race cars to appear out of the forest and chase us. We swerve off the road and die from being crushed under the van. The end.

2. Describe your favourite cinema. Is it nearby, or hard to get to? Why is it better than the others?

My favorite cinema is 15 minutes away and I only go to it bc its not that far. Idk how to spell it, its called like, Lietersburg or something. IT has a really big parking lot that I use to practice driving.

3. What was your favourite class in school? In terms of atmosphere, classmates, teacher, anything.

My favorite class in school was my junior year of high school english class with Ms. Mattu. I was friends with everyone in the class, which by the end of the year only had around 7 or 8 kids, and we spent class joking around and writing stupid messages and memes on the board, which, most of the time our teach would let us leave up there. Ms. Mattu was (and is) an excellent teacher who would push us to the limit in terms of our ability, and really helped me improve my writing skills A LOT which is great for someone who’s gonna major in something that might need a bunch of writing ability. We also had food days which were cool and watched some really good movies like, The Help or The Shawshank Redemption.

4. What’s one hair colour, piercing or tattoo you’d love to get someday but probably never will?

I would really love to get a septum piercing bc I think they look awesome, but knowing me I would probably get tired of it and want to take it out after a while. So sometimes I just wear a fake one lol. I’d also really love to get a tattoo of No-Face from Spirited Away, bc that movie is very close to my heart.

5. Describe one person who you’d love to be friends with, but only know as an acquaintance through work, school or other friends. What about them makes you want to know them better?

Oh jeez, there was this girl at school (who I absolutely will not name bc some of u went to school with me) who was like really cool??? Amazing fashion sense, super funny, and really cute. We had only talked a couple times, but I would literally be so starstruck by seeing her that I would stumble on my words. Everything she did was just so effortlessly cool, and I probably definitely had a small crush on her lol. She pulled off stuff that I could only dream of doing. I really wanted to learn more about her, but I don’t think we would have had a lot in common rip.

6. What is your personal “white whale”? Something you encountered in the the past and have never been able to find since, no matter how hard you try?

Honestly, I don’t think I have one? While I do enjoy obsessing over things, I always will let go of something after a while, whether it be a thought, idea, or thing, bc truthfully I just get bored with it. Like, if I want something, the longest that feeling will last is probably at most a couple years before I go, “well i guess I’m not getting it. Better move on”. I don’t like to chase after or they to find things that I deem as too hard or bothersome.

7. What was your favourite movie when you were a child? Does it still hold up now that you’re older?

SPIRITED AWAY AND LILO AND STITCH. Both are tied as my favorite movies ever. I’ve been watching Spirited Away since I was like a fetus, i watch it at least once or twice a year now, but as a kid i’d probably watch once every two weeks. It was my first anime, I loved how it was drawn differently than Disney, how it took place in Japan, a place i had several friends from, and how everything. Looked. So. Delicious. Not to mention how funny it was. It definitely still holds up today, and now as an artist I appreciate it even more. Meanwhile, I love Lilo and Stitch bc I’m a pacific islander! At the time, it was the only movie I’d ever seen about someone else who grew up on an island, and I really connected with Lilo. It was and is still SUPER hilarious. And now I actually connect with Nani a lot because I have a little sister. The bond is portrayed so well, which I couldn’t understand as a kid because I was an only child at the time. Even the way the characters speak and act is in such a relatable way that i can’t help but feel homesick. Also, i cry when i watch the movie during the scene where Nani sings. Super sad.

8. Do you have a favourite ‘local’ food? It could be a local delicacy unique to your town, but it could just be a particular snack from a particular shop. A favourite meal from your favourite restaurant, maybe, because nobody else makes it the same way that they do?

There’s this local donut shop called Krumpe’s which everyone in town goes to. Their donuts are pretty good, and even better warm. During New Year’s Eve they hand out free donuts during a “Donut Drop” (mocks the ball drop) we have every year. My brother is friends with the family’s son and i quite like the mother, who I once had a long talk with while we were sitting on a bench overlooking a pond.

9. Have you ever skipped school or work to hang out with your friends or to go to a particular event?

Haha, NO. I could never get away with leaving school, and honestly, I don’’t really have any friends I could ever do something like that with. My school calls our parents if were absent and attendance is really hard to get out of. The only thing I’ve ever missed school for was a field trip or college visit. When i was a sophomore however, I did tend to leave my last period class 15 minutes early to walk around and talk to the janitor (he’s really nice) bc we had a long term sub who was really cool.

10. What is something you’d love to collect but haven’t yet?

Sweatshirts i guess? I’d love to have sweatshirts from all over the world and places i’d visit. With how often I wear them I think i’d be pretty useful too.

11. Are you the kind of person who saves tickets from travelling? If not, what’s your favourite type of souvenir to collect?

Yup, always. I never really get to travel because of costs, so whenever i have a field trip i keep the ticket. So far, I have some Pentatonix and Two Cellos band tickets, and one from the MOMA and a couple other art museums.

Questions to answer

1. Is there a celebrity you often are said to look like? If not, then who is someone you wish you did?

2. What is one of your favorite bands or musicians? Why do you like them?

3. Who inspired your sense of style? Who is someone you look up to in terms of  fashion?

4. If you could get rid of any one emotion, what would it be and why?

5. How do you see yourself versus how you think people perceive you? What are someone’s first impressions of you?

6. What’s your phone case and background? Why did you pick them?

7. What is something you’ve done that you’re very proud of? What is something about yourself that you’re very proud of?

8. What is your favorite climate and season? What’s your favorite thing to do in that weather?

9. What is something you own or have a lot of and why?

10. Have you ever gone through a “phase”? What is the worst/funniest one you’ve gone through?

11. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done in the middle of the night? If nothing, whats something you’ve always wanted to do?

[krumpwrites]

MHAM Post #11: Corinne

This piece is written by someone that I’ve known during many stages of her life. Corinne has been a friend that I can honestly say I have grown with. I have known her since high school, and together we have experienced all of the ups and downs that come with your teens and 20s.

My favorite thing about our friendship, is that I can honestly say I’ve watched her learn and grow into herself over the years. She has become such a mature, self-aware person and it shows in her writing. 

I liked that, in a sense, her story contrasts the previous story, with regards to her opinions on medication. She also touches on her experience with therapy, and other coping mechanisms shes learned over the years. 

Read her experience here: 

It was my senior year of college. I came back to school after a summer that felt like an eternity of missing “The Promised Land” and mourning the breakup of a college relationship that, for some reason, shook me more than I ever imagined a short-lived relationship could. Going back to JMU after being at home for the summer was the best feeling in the whole world (I know all my Dookz can agree). It was then, upon the return to my favorite place, that I started experiencing what I would soon learn was my anxiety, something I would carry with me for the rest of my life.

I remember exactly what I was doing the first time I felt this then unfamiliar feeling, which I now know to be a panic attack. I was walking into the library, up to the front desk to check out a laptop. As I approached the front desk, I felt my heart begin to race. I became increasingly hot. The floor felt like it was moving below me, and I experienced an out-of-body feeling that I had never experienced before, for what seemed like no reason. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I felt like I needed to escape as soon as humanly possible, like I was in danger or something.  I thought it was weird, but ultimately I brushed it off.

It wasn’t until these feelings started to appear, not just in the library, but also on the bus going to class, while giving presentations, and while doing seemingly “relaxing” activities, like eating with my friends in the dining hall, that I started to become worried about what was happening to my body. (Side note: all of these were place I had previously THRIVED...I mean I AM a Leo SO you know…).

Krump was actually the first person who told me that what I was experiencing sounded like anxiety. I’ll never forget laying in my bed in Forest Hills googling “symptoms of anxiety” on WebMD, a website that, once I actually learned I had anxiety, I’d never visit ever again (hello hypochondria). I remember thinking, “holy shit, this is it, this is all of what I have been feeling”. And then I felt scared. What does this mean? Why do I feel this way? How do I make it stop?

Luckily in college, you’re surrounded by friends and LOTS of booze. So much so, that admitting to my roommate that the only time I didn’t feel anxious was when I was drunk, felt so casual to me. That fact didn’t actually scare me until I was out of college, and drinking until you can’t feel anything isn’t really a normal life coping method anymore.

Fast forward almost 5 years later and here I am, still learning new things about my anxiety and what comes along with it every single day. Sometimes I think I have it totally under control. I think that the 5th antidepressant/antianxiety medication I have tried and now take religiously, the seemingly healthy food I am putting into my body, the chamomile tea I drink both at night and during the day (I almost threw a fit when someone at work wanted to get rid of the sleepy time tea because “who needs that during work”.. umm hello anxious people do!), the 9 PM grandma bedtimes, my Himalayan salt lamp, my adult coloring book, my lavender candle, and the meditation, have somehow made my anxiety disappear. But then, BAM, I’m hit with a brain zap that comes with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, fear, worry and my least favorite, the out-of-body feeling I referenced earlier.

That’s the sneaky thing about anxiety though…just when you think you have it under control, it’s there hiding in the darkness, just waiting to come out. It appears when I am at brunch, laughing and enjoying time with my friends. It appears when I am driving down the highway. It appears when I am alone at night. It appears when I am grocery shopping. It appears when I am watching TV. It appears at times I can’t always explain.

Now let’s get to the positive side of things! I have spent a lot of time thinking about the differences between the ways that I used to cope with my anxiety versus how I cope with it now, and I feel like I can finally pat myself on the back. The people closest to me always say I never give myself enough credit, so here I am. I’m working on it! For starters, less than a year ago, I also was petrified of medication. I had some of the worst days of my life while on antidepressants that were pushed on me in the past, and I didn’t think medicine was the answer for me. Turns out, once you find a doctor who truly listens to you and genuinely cares about your well-being, this can change. I take my anxiety medication two times a day, and I can genuinely say it has changed my life for the better. Of course, I still have my moments where my anxiety creeps up on me like I described before, and it still happens way more often than the average person, but believe it or not, the number of these instances have decreased significantly. I can actually breathe again.

Less than a year ago, I was constantly looking for life situations to blame my anxiety on and so did my ex-therapist.  She taught me to search for answers or reasons as to why I felt this way. Like maybe it was just my post-grad anxiety/depression (my doctor said she saw so many people for this, so it must be true right!?). Maybe it was the toxic two-year relationship I was in. Or maybe it was the aftermath of the breakup of that toxic relationship. Or maybe it was the fact that my physical health is all sorts of fucked up and that carries so many unknowns. Or maybe it’s because I was transitioning jobs, or my work environment wasn’t good... this list could go on forever. Telling her about an experience I had with sexual assault was like a goldmine for her, because she was convinced she had found the answer to all of my anxieties. In reality, this wasn’t the case at all (hence the “ex” in ex-therapist). She made me feel like anxiety was something you could “fix” but it’s not. It’s actually quite the opposite. While, of course, the experiences I shared with her do play a part in the state of my mental health, even when I can’t recognize it, addressing those experiences doesn’t mean they, or my anxieties as a result of those experiences, suddenly go away. I now know that my anxiety has always been with me, it just chose the year 2012 to come out in full force.

And finally after all this thinking (it’s what us anxious people do best right!?), the #1 thing my journey has taught me, is that despite anxiety being a part of me, I am not “anxious all day every day for no apparent reason at all” like I used to believe I was. In the past, I was convinced that every ounce of my body felt anxious at every second of every day. I used to only noticed the times when I wasn’t anxious, in the same way people who don’t have generalized anxiety disorder only notice the times that they are anxious.

Since then, I have grown to learn how my past and present experiences have shaped me as a person, and how they have shaped my anxiety. I have learned what many of my triggers are, and how to talk myself off the ledge when I feel myself ramping up. I have switched from having the mindset of blaming my anxiety, to accepting it. My anxiety will always be part of me. There will always be time when it hits me and I can’t explain it. And it will never be “fixed”, but I know one thing is for sure, my anxiety does not define me and yours does not define you either.

**Disclaimer: I still think that therapy is one of the best things a person can do for their mental health, despite my personal experiences thus far. I know my prefect therapist is out there somewhere, just gotta find him or her!