#[[i would write more but oufakjhdag quite frankly i'd make it TOO LONG

[hxlding-on-blog]

hey so youve watched the guy who didnt like musicals right? (if you havent, you should!) well theres this song called 'not your seed' and i was wondering how would peter feel if may was in that situation?

Random Asks || ANONYMOUS

“May?” 

His little girl steps out from the shadows of the school theatre, body obviously moving against her own will and yet there was no attempts in holding it back. Peter steps closer, though she speaks again and he suddenly can’t move anymore. The infection had spread all over New York by now but Peter hoped- he prayed- that she would ( by some miraculous chance ) be able to escape. That she’d run from the grasp of the disease that swept throughout the city, but no amount of sheer willpower could’ve stopped this.

“It’s all your fault.” She steps closer, pointing towards her father, eyes lifeless and cold; there was something in Peter that shattered, that tore apart and fell to the floor, his body shaking as she continued to speak in a familiar voice and yet the tone was clearly not his daughter. It took everything in Peter not to cry and, even then, tears slipped past; it didn’t take long before he was bawling and tried his best to reach out to her. “That’s the last thought I had before they broke down the door.“

“I’m not your girl anymore. I’m not that tween that you drove here for. I’m not your girl anymore. I overtook her body with an infectious spore.” Her voice was harmonious, each pitch perfect and in tune with sounds that made up a backing track, the spider pacing around May as he attempted to asses the situation. Without hitch in her song, she continued to sing; tears continued to flow down her father’s face but she didn’t stop, body moving in accordance to her lyrics. “You left me out of your sight for one second- and look what happens- Nightmare time! It’s worse than you could imagine- not sex and not drugs. Just aliens invading minds!”

As she continued to dance something akin to a musical number, Peter helplessly paced about some more, wanting to speak up and yet holding back as he hoped that maybe- just maybe- she could fight back against the will of the creature infecting her. But nothing about her changed as she continued onwards.“No more family vacays together‘cause your only daughter’s under the weather, and if you actually paid attention to me- You’d see- I’m not your seed!”

“May, what’s going on?” He attempted to speak out, hands reaching towards her but unable to touch; he was afraid he’d do something harsh, or scare her, or make things worse. But what that did was give the infection more means of control, still in control of her. And Peter shuffled awkwardly, placing his hands on her shoulders, attempting to shake her out of the grasp of that mind controlling creature. “I’m not your angsty teen!”

“May, I-I’m here to take you home.” There’s a moment Peter restrains himself, not wanting to waste his time on a fruitless task, but there was a section within him that said she could make it. That she could fight against this, that she could win; there was another part that said she’d never get through it. He had hope in his heart that May could come out victorious, but the creature showed no signs of relenting. “No matter what you believe, the apple’s fallen far from the tree.”

“It’s not my fault anymore. No more curfews to be late for. It’s not my fault anymore- no more being worried and waiting by the door.” She hunches over, as if about to throw up, but she instead continues to sing; Peter moves to catch her if she were to fall but, when notes come out instead of an infectious mass, Peter recoils and stares with wide eyes, unable to help. “Did you know that I wanted to live with you?”

As if on command, two other teens reveal themselves from the dark- her girlfriend and her best friend. The hive mind of the creature infecting them all connects to the sounds in the atmosphere, singing backup, Peter’s pacing quickening and attempting to reach out- yet again- to his little girl.

“Look what happens, nightmare time!” 

“And when you needed to fight, you gave him that too-” It was like she was taunting him, showing him what he’d lost, what he’d never gain back, what he’d held so precious and dear only to never see again. The fight they’d had earlier in the morning was now an aching stab to his chest; he shouldn’t have spoken up about anything but, maybe, his attempts at stopping her from going out on a dangerous mission caused this. If he hadn’t fought with her, maybe he wouldn’t have lost her like everyone else in his life. “Did you know dad let Kate sleep over?”

“What?” His split with Eddie was for the best; at least, for Eddie. It ached him down to his soul to do that but, if it meant nobody would harm either him or V, it sufficed. It meant May’s weekends were spent with them but, since the divorce, he’d felt this underlying gut instinct that May preferred Eddie over him. He wasn’t in this for competition- he loved them all dearly- but something hurt about hearing of what Eddie did that Peter didn’t. It made him feel like he wasn’t doing enough. “And you’re wrong about Kate- She’s a hardcore stoner.”

He knew for a fact at this point that the creature was spouting lies to get to him, though it still stung; as her father, it was his duty to keep her safe. It was his duty to keep her away from the horrible aspects of humanity. The mere idea that he had failed had his stomach churning and hands turning into fists. This isn’t his daughter, he knew that well, but he couldn’t bring himself to accept that truth. “You’re lying!” 

“And if you wonder what led your daughter astray- Well daddy wasn’t here to save- Not your seed!”

“Not your seed.”

“May, whatever I said this morning, I’m sorry-”

“I’m not your perfect teen!”

“Perfect teen-”

“You can break out of it- I know-I know you can!” No amount of convincing would stop Peter, would tell him he had nothing to save; he needed to be shown and his faith was dwindling by the second. Despite his attempts- shaking her, speaking, pacing around- she wouldn’t snap out of it. She couldn’t. But Peter wasn’t about to give up- she had to still be there, he knew it. “I’m fucking seventeen! At least, I was before you left me.”

A gut-churning voice told him to leave, to give up, that the meagre attempts would not be worth it. His daughter was gone; whatever infected her, it wasn’t going to let go, but neither was Peter. She stands quietly, an awkward silence, before she spoke again. She stood in a spotlight, as if planned, but he knew well it was the creature doing what it did best. “M-May?”

“Why does it hurt to love you? Why am I in pain? Why does it hurt to know you? You let me down again.  If I turned my insides out, would you even know that I was there? Why does it hurt to love you… Why does it hurt to love…”

And for a split second, he believes the change in tone is a cry of help from his daughter, a sign that she’s still alive in there, a momentary flash of hope! Before the pillar is smashed down again and her body quickens up in its movements again, only to regain composure as a mind-controlled musical character. “I’m not your seed!

“Not your girl, not your girl-”

“Now maybe you’ll listen to me!”

“Listen to me, listen to me-”

“I’m sure you’d let me bleed!”

“Let me bleed-” 

“Now your daughter’s not a girl no more!”

“Girl no more, girl no more-”

“Not at all your seed!”

Again, it’s silent for a brief moment, Peter sniffling the only sound in the room. And yet, he doesn’t reach out anymore. Instead, he stares blankly at May, attempting to collect his thoughts. He can’t do this- he can’t live in a world without his daughter- this was not his daughter. The second a note left her mouth, she was never his daughter. And yet, he couldn’t do anything about it- she was infected, she was gone, and it was Peter’s fault again.

Everything was Peter’s fault- her first gunshot wound, his divorce, her infection with the creature affecting all of New York.

Peter’s. Fault.

“I’m not your girl anymore.”