#[[ slightly different because i cant draw hands for my life

[omega-e123]

Shadow’s prequel here. Aftermath here

You’ve been actively avoiding him for weeks on end. Not because he’s done anything wrong, no! Lately it felt as though his voice has gotten a lot softer. The physical distance between you has gotten closer and his eyes gaze at you differently. A sort new kind of fondness, you imagine. Chaos, his eyes… The image of Shadow flashes in your mind, causing your heart to beat faster than Sonic on his way to his favorite Chilidog stand.

The friendship that you and Shadow have built over the past few years is too precious for you to mess up over some silly “crush.” Is it still considered a crush if you’ve liked the guy for a long time? Ugh, it doesn’t matter. No way that hedgehog would develop those sort of feelings.

Groaning, your head falls atop the cafe table. The empty cup clattering against its saucer. Well whether or not you would admit to him, the distance you forced between each other has strained the relationship. Absentmindedly, the coffee spoon clanks against the cups insides.

A tap on your shoulder breaks you out of your thoughts, nearly flinging the spoon into the street. Spinning around, a certain hedgehog stands awkwardly holding a bouquet of flowers. In a panic, you hurry out of your seat to stand face to face.

“Shadow! Hey, fancy seeing you here!,” you nervously greet. “Is everything alright? What are the flowers for?”

Fuckshitfuck— No where to run, no where to hide. Actually, what are the chances he’d just let you book it to the next dimension?

His intense stare is more than enough to send anyone straight to the floor cowering. Shadow looks down at the bouquet and then back to you before shoving them into your arms. “They’re for you.”

With a blank face, you say nothing and hold his gaze. Heat growing on your cheeks. You cant help but tilt your head and quietly repeat back, “for me?”

“That is what I said,” Shadow sighs, “Listen. I don’t know what I did to make you upset, but if you could just talk to me… It’s unsettling”

Your ears droop, hearing the reason. Ah, of course they wouldn’t be a romantic gesture. What were you thinking, getting your hopes up like that? Apology flowers. Eye contact breaks as your attention finds its way to the ground.

“No, you didn’t do anything. It’s okay, but thank you,” you manage out.

The hedgehog refuses to let you go without an answer. Worry laced in his words, “Then what’s with that look? Why do you look… disappointed? What’s wrong? Why the hell have you been ignoring my messages and avoiding me?”

Lips pressed into a thin line, you debate on how to answer him. It’s a struggle to breathe. “I’m not,” you begin to lie.

Shadow cuts you off with, “Please.”

It felt as if your brain blue-screened. Did the ultimate life form beg you just now?

“Look at me,” he asks, one hand holding your arm, the other resting under your chin. Slowly he lifts it up in order to get a better look at you. The touch so gentle, it was as though Shadow was convinced you’d break into a million pieces.

Ruby red eyes scan your features, searching for an answer. You notice his ears are slightly drooped forward. The poor guy looks like a kicked puppy.. Were you two always standing this close together? You try to find the words to say to him; however, you keep drawing blanks. It’s hard to believe someone like Shadow would be so worried over you. That’s how anyone could tell his actions are genuine. Something pulls you to lean up on your tippy toes and carefully inch towards him. Shadow tenses wondering what on Gaia’s green planet are you doing. Supple lips meld into the other. Your eyes close after the initial contact. A simple chaste kiss planted upon Shadow’s. He makes no effort to pull away, instead he’s relishing the moment.

Until you part from him, you both realize what had happened. His quills prickle up. Letting go of you, his hand comes up to hide the blush immediately creeping on his face . Shadow teleports away, leaving you dumbfounded.

«___° ° °___»

[moonlight-prose]

✧ LOVER BE GOOD TO ME ✧

a/n: finally we've reached the day meant for tommy! i'm actually kind of excited about this one. if only because i'm obsessed with this man. it's short and sweet, but the amount of wips i have for him in my drafts are extensive. so i hope you enjoy.

day thirteen - overstimulation | kinktober 2023

summary: "how you managed to be the lucky winner in this draw called life, you’d never know. tommy was kind, good to you in a way no other person ever had been before."

word count: 1k+

pairing: tommy miller x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, overstimulation, tad bit of pain kink, tommy is soft, choking, oral (f receiving)

You should have known you’d wind up like this—barely able to gasp in a single breath, body covered in a slight sheen of sweat, as your mind was altered. The night went normal enough. Dinner with Joel and Sarah. A night that wasn’t entirely different from every other Saturday, but something lingered in his eyes. The mischief that you’d fallen in love with. Tommy and all his antics, ever the troublemaker of the Miller clan.

Which is why you didn’t think anything of the look he gave you an hour beforehand. Barely noticed the way his eyes glazed over slightly, trailing down your figure clad in jeans and a t-shirt. It was an outfit he’d seen you in a hundred times over. But something caught his attention—pulling him in a damn siren call.

“You gotta look at me honey,” he breathed, grasping your chin in his hand and moving your head to face him. Your eyes fluttered open—mouth parted as he took in the sight of you. All fucked out and pretty. “How’re feelin’?”

A soft whine pulled from the back of your throat, hips canting up with a need that hadn’t been there five minutes ago. “T-Tommy…”

“Yeah? That’s me baby.” He shifted, pushing his hips forward slightly and grinning when you moaned, fingers clawing at the sheets beneath you. “Lemme hear you.”

“Feel g-good,” you whined, the ache in your body growing the longer he kept you there. Right on the precipice of finishing. You could no longer tell how long you’d been at this—how long it had been since he kissed you at the door and stripped you on the way to the bedroom.

He had spread you out on the mattress, a gleam in his eyes that held you captivated as he sealed his mouth over your cunt. Drinking you down as if you were the dessert he’d been craving all throughout dinner. By the second orgasm, you were shoving at his head in an attempt to offer yourself some reprieve. But Tommy had different plans altogether. Intentions that left you writhing beneath him, crying out some broken version of his name.

“All I want baby,” he murmured, leaning down to lick into your mouth, drawing out a soft sound he swallowed. “Want you to feel good. Wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

Your breath stuttered, eyes nearly falling shut entirely until you felt it. The press of his hand against your throat, lightly directing you to what he wanted. What he had asked you to do right before this. He wanted you to look at him. To see how he took you apart over and over, until you could focus on nothing but him.

“Can feel you.” He grunted, grinding into you and watching as your face went slack with pleasure, eyes rolling back.

Something snapped in your body, flooding you with an intense amount of bliss that had you going incoherent. A loud hum buzzing in your ears. But over the sound you heard him groan—long and broken—the words there you go being pressed to your jaw. His fingers pressed to your clit, circling it roughly until pain began to tinge at the edge of your vision. Something so bright and blaring you had no choice but to grasp onto it. To draw it closer and let it consume you.

He followed you quickly with a raspy shout of your name, his body nearly dropping on top of you. Except he never stopped touching you. Never let up on prolonging your high, because if there’s one thing Tommy wanted…it was to see you like this.

His eyes drank you in—the way your body practically glowed in the low light of the bedroom, your eyes glazed over and lips swollen from where he’d bit them one too many times. He watched you lock your gaze on him. A silent cry leaving your lips when he pushed you even further. Dragging yet another release from your already exhausted body. He felt hungry for more. Desperate to see you fall apart because of him.

If he had his way, he’d have you like this as often as you allowed. But for now this was plenty. Watching while you finished with a sharp gasp, eyes going wide as your orgasm took you by surprise—legs trembling around his hips. Your chest rose and fell rapidly, nails digging into his lower back, but the night couldn’t have been more perfect.

“How do you feel honey?” he asked softly, running his thumb along your lower lip, eyes falling to see the creamy ring around his spent cock as he pulled out of you. The sight nearly made him want to go again, but the way your body slumped into the mattress told him otherwise.

You smiled lazily. “Four?”

“I could have made it five.”

You slapped weakly at his chest—the hit feeling like a light tap. “I wouldn’t have made it.”

He chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “I’d have brought you back.”

“Mmm. With what?”

“My tongue.”

You shivered, hand curling into his hair and tugging gently. “Filthy.”

“Thought you liked that about me.” His hand slid down, cupping your tender cunt as he places a trail of kisses down your jaw. Teeth scraping along your chin. “Fell for me cause ‘m filthy.”

You sighed, letting him lead down to your chest, laving his tongue along your stiff nipple. “Fell for you cause you’re sweet.”

“Don’t lie baby,” he murmured, sliding your thigh over his shoulder—the mischief trickling back into his gleaming brown eyes. “You like this more.”

“F-Fuck Tommy.” Your hand gripped his hair tighter as his tongue teased your clit, that flicker of pain once again resurging. Only this time…you welcomed it.

“Honey.” Your eyes snapped to his, lips parting as you drew in quick and stunted breaths. “Love you.”

That welcome feeling you cherished more than anything overtook you. Warming the inside of your chest with something else. Something familiar. He smiled at you like pure sunlight, a sight that anyone would be lucky to witness. How you managed to be the lucky winner in this draw called life, you’d never know. Tommy was kind, good to you in a way no other person ever had been before. That reason alone had you smiling back, body softening to his touch, becoming pliable beneath him.

“Love you too,” you breathed, watching as he dove back in, curling his tongue around your clit and effectively causing your mind to go blissfully blank.

[verdemoun]

hi im back on my "overlooked things" bullshit

the gang and clothes. oh god that must've been chaotic. What the fuck do you mean you don't have to wear a union suit. What do you mean you??? Just??? Get to dress however you want??? Hello whY IS THERE SO MANY WOMEN WEARING PANTS WOW???

Comfort clothes. Kieran and clothes was already mentioned once, but I'm thinking about others. Some stick to their style, probably. I see Hosea as such a guy. John is living out his emo dreams /j

Charles, his newfound hobby of (insert vague gesture here) you know, and special clothes for this sort of thing. And protection. Good gloves, goggles, all that. Mate's in heaven. You cant tell me otherwise.

The first shopping trip is a fucking journey every time a new person appears. The availability. Prices. The materials. PRINTS. (I work with prints on fabric and lemme tell you. That shit is wild even for me. Let alone 1899 people.) The vast amount of styles and all that.

And, dumbass designs of course. The weird ones you can get from AliExpress or whatever and it's a fucking trip every time. As much as I wanna say it's Sean who discovers those first, I'd say it's Arthur. My guy wasn't too quick to learn tech and stuff so he saw a nice tshirt for a low price, ordered it, and he didn't look at it what was written.

His 1899 mindset of "i have it therefore it cannot be thrown away i can't afford more" wins out and he keeps it. You can't tell me otherwise.

welcome back always get the happiest hand flapping stim getting to long asks

absolutely assuming every woman who wears pants is a lesbian for the longest time

wearing pajamas for the first time. clothes being so plentiful they have a designated for sleep. and sleepwear being so much more comfortable than a union suit or ye olde undergarments the first time most of them wear flannel is a life changing experience.

bessie accidentally bought hosea clothes whenever she saw something she thought her husband would like it was her way of coping with him being gone for so long. he is rocking the brown loafers looks like he owns a yacht the beige pants but also coziest old man sweaters

john and arthur both just wear slightly modernized versions of their regular clothes they are dorks. john has the black leather bikie jacket with stupid fashion belts and buckles he looks amazing like generic punk outfit

CHARLES bordering on hoarder with the gloves. guilty of buying gloves in different colors just because he likes the color even though he already has 3 pairs of the same glove. most of the time enjoying the comfort of looking like a southern dad with the plaid and jeans but also work pants with the extra knee padding and a dozen pockets a different tool in every pocket walking down the street need a screwdriver? tape measure? wrench? electrical tape? timber screws? always on hand.

lenny and sean are the temu fashion disasters. bird shirts floral prints galore. the technicolor because it's so new to them!! the most hideous busy patterns but somehow making it work

sean accidentally bought a blue lives matter shirt and lenny had to draw the line and explain sean no. he started wearing it inside out instead of throwing it out and attempted to bleach the crappy iron off

arthur is so self conscious and so convinced he is ugly he is hyperaware of not sticking out in modern era he went through plain shirt and unremarkable pants for months. guilty of having a hoodie he won't leave the house without until he eventually settles on just modern era gunslinger outfit. owns 4 versions of the same outfit because he has npc energy in modern era can fit every piece of clothing he owns in a backpack.

[littleracha]

SKZ as CG

This is for the anonymous ask on my other blog! Hope you found this little duckie. Please enjoy!

Also, this is not a guideline for asks! If you want to request any member differently than how I wrote them go ahead! These are just my personal head cannons.

Bang Chan

Main CG name: Daddy

OT8 CG name: Daddy

Nicknames for his little: Little one, Baby, Baby girl/boy, Little Wolf

He is good with all ages of regression

Chan tries to be the responsible caregiver with rules and schedules

but falls for your little puppy eyes every time he sees them

Bedtime? Okay fine 30 more minutes

One piece of candy before dinner okay?

I guess one more round of Mario Kart won't hurt

However, out of all the boys, I feel like he is the most likely to be an actual caregiver

His phone is filled with little videos and pictures of you

When he is on tour he buys you something from each city

Naps on his lap while he works are very common

He has gotten good at producing with one hand because he can't keep the other one off your back. Soothing you also comforts him

Best daddy vibes

Lee Know

Main CG name: Mommy

OT8 CG name: Noona

Nicknames for his little: Kitten/Kitty, Bunny, Tiny, Baby, Little Star

I feel like Minho is better with slightly younger little ones

His CG headspace makes him want to carry you and holds you as much as possible

In his mind, nothing can hurt you if you are in his arms

Loves to tease you to see your little pouty face

Squishes your cheeks and calls you the cutest little baby

Coos and gushes over you constantly

Is the strictest out of the CG but that doesn't make him mean

He just wants what's best for his little one

Has a rewards chart set up on the kitchen fridge

Every time you do something you were told you get to pick out a sticker and put it on

Collect enough Stickers and you get a reward!

But he will never take a sticker off the board for bad behavior.

He may get frustrated at times but is the most understanding that sometimes littles act out.

Calmly tells you what was wrong and walks you through the steps on how you two can correct it next time.

Is a gentle but stern cg.

Changbin

Main CG name: Daddy

OT8 CG name: Dada

Nicknames for his little: Little Rockstar, Kiddo, Little Maniac, Tiny Dwaekki, little dude

I feel like CG Binnie is good with slightly older toddlers and middles

He loves to play games like mario kart, little big planet, animal crossing, and Pokemon with his little ones

He makes everything a competition but always lets you win

Snacks, treats, and sweets are a must with Binnie

But with that comes veggies and proteins too

He loves to treat his little one but he also knows the importance of health

Takes you to the park a lot so you can run around and get exercise

Explains to you that being healthy means you can grow up to be big and strong like he is

Is the champion of getting you to giggle

Makes you have laughing fits so hard the others begin to worry if you are breathing

Cant follow bedtime to save his life

He is the fun and playful caregiver

Hyunjin

Main CG Name: Mommy

OT8 CG name: Mama

Nicknames for his Little: Little Artist, Little Muse, Little Dancer, Sweetie, Darling

Is good with any type of little

He is the creative caregiver.

You two are always covered in paint

Doesn't get mad when you draw on the walls but helps you move the creativity onto canvas.

Coloring books and crayons are EVERYWHERE.

Slightly unorganized and messy CG but when inspiration strikes an artist must act!

Keeps a little sketchbook in your little bag at all times

The Fridge is covered in your artwork as if it was an art gallery.

His favorite pieces are framed and hung up in his Big Kid art studio.

Never throws away a drawing, if he runs out of room he makes more. room

I think he probably follows the other boy's suggestions the most.

Changbin mentioned you should go out and play or naptime won't go so well.

Minho reminded Hyunjin for the thousandth time that you need a schedule.

It's not that Hyunjin is a bad CG at all!

He just never wants the fun to end

Han

Main CG Name: Daddy (however I can also see Mommy)

OT8 CG Name: Oppa

Nicknames for his Little: Little Quokka, Cub, (Your favorite cartoon character), little baby, dumpling, little squish

Han is good with all littles but does best with shy or anxious little ones

Though he is loud around the boys I feel like he is very quiet and nurturing toward a little one

Is great with nonverbal littles and will wait patiently until he can figure out what you need

Has little cards with different snacks and activities on them so you can point at what you want

Lets you cling to him and hide your face when you are feeling extra shy or nervous

Has sensory toys on him at all times

Movie time is his favorite with you

He turns on your favorite movie and settles you down in his lap

Just holds you and feels you relax, making his heart melt

When you do feel more energetic and playful he goes from 0 to 100 really quick

Bouncing you in the air, playing over dramatic peak a boo, so many imagination games

Keeps a list of games they play on cartoons like Bluey

He is the understanding CG

Felix

Main CG name: Mommy

OT8 CG name: Mommy

Nicknames for his little one: Sugar, Spice, Cupcake, Cookie, Sweetie Heart, Little Chef, Brownie Baby, sunshine

Is best with toddlers and babies

Is the most prepared and organized CG

Multiple stuffies, sippies, bottles, and pacis are kept on hand

He keeps some in the studio at work too just in case you slip during a visit

Loves dressing you two up in matching outfits

You have pigtails? Looks like Mommy is going to have pigtails too

Loves dress up and makeover play dates

Sends photos to the group for 'comeback inspiration'

He loves baking with you too.

He picks easy things like brownies and cookies.

You are not allowed near the stove or oven, however, the thought of you getting hurt crushes him

Instead, you get to help measure everything out and mix!

Of course, Mommy lets you lick the spoon after

He may 'accidentally' forget to tell you that the brownie you just ate got all over your face

Always looks at you with his sunshine smile and heart eyes

Felix is the sugary-sweet CG

Seungmin

Main CG name: Daddy

OT8 CG name: Minnie

Nicknames for his little one: Puppy/Pup, Champ, Kiddo, Bug, Little one, Small one, Tiny one, (something related to your special interests)

Seungmin does best with older kiddos

His favorite activity with his little one is pulling pranks on the other members

He finds your laugh and mischievous smile to be infectious

In an OT8 setting Seungmin gives me older brother vibes

He is always sneaking you treats after Minho said no

Waking you up from naptime to play, even though Chan just put you down

Calls you his little pup or puppy but also dies every time you look at him with those big doe eyes and call him doggy

Will play around and bark at you

Is willing to listen to you babble on and on about your special interests.

If that means taking a tour of your collections then he is ready for the VIP museum experience!

But Minnie can also be serious if he is in CG's headspace

Isn't afraid to raise his voice a little or give you a look if you are being naughty

Sits nearby when he puts you in timeout so you know he is there

After you are done he rather forgive and forget instead of dwelling on it

He never stays stern for too long, he always comes back to his playful mood

Seungmin is a dog energy CG

I.N.

Main CG name: Mommy (I could see Daddy used too)

OT8 CG name: Innie

Nicknames for his little: Little Fox, Kit, Baby Bread, Princess, Prince, Knight, Hun, Button

Jeongin does well with little toddlers

He gives me preschool teacher vibes as a CG

Loves to teach you new things

If you point out a pretty flower, he looks it up and reads all about it to you

Has story time with a whole setup

Cozy blankets, beanbag chairs, little lights, and a small bookshelf library

Along with your coloring books, you have activity books too

Simple math, spelling, pattern matching, etc

In an OT8 setting, I also see I.N. being a big brother of sorts

But more of the gentle sweet caring brother

Very protective of you

The others leave him in charge

Always down to play little board and card games

Is a master at memory matching and go fish

Is another CG who falls victim to your puppy dog eyes when its time for something you don't want to do

He tries really hard to stay strong but the second he sees that little lip pout he is done for

Innie is a very educational CG

[sankttealeaf]

1, 3, 11, 28 for rue!! (also 30. this is a statement.)

hehe ty <3 answering these Secret OC Asks

1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?

rue is scouse /j

she has tav 4's voice canonically! i cant really think of any others that match the Vibe i have for her. slightly posh, well spoken, a darling to listen to. i guess vex'halia from critrole also has a similar vibe to rue's voice.

3) What song describes your OC?

SO MANY. gonna list a few of my faves

i bet on losing dogs - mitski

family tree - ethel cain

ptolemaea - ethel cain

the warmth - paris paloma

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

honestly? i had ZERO inspiration for rue when making her. i wanted to keep her as blank as i could because i knew that the dark urge origin was different backstory-wise compared to a tav so i didnt want to come up with traits & a backstory to then have it be contradicted.

she came to life when i started writing about her mostly. and when i discovered the prayer for forgiveness my mind latched onto that and the potential relationship between her and gortash

i'm kind of bad at having pre-determined inspirations for video game ocs. my first (and only) tav cassiopeia didnt have a solid backstory until act 3 and then... ive left her there. girl i am so sorry

all i know is that i wanted religious trauma, for her to have bloody hands and to kiss gortash (maybe)

28) What clique would they be in? (Draw them in the clothes of said group!)

my mind is TORN. part of me wants her to be like, hot and popular but i know she would be the weird outsider who has odd interests and is off putting (she's just like me fr)

30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?)

rue would love ophelia. but we both know this.

[way2gosuperrstarr]

• Any inspirations from other media that helped shape the AU? (Other fanfics, movies, etc)

• Any particular favorite scenes you have planned rn?

• I’m so interested in what you have planned for Ness and Y/N’s friendship. I think I recall you mentioning that they had been friends before the ‘Plex?

-- oh gosh um .... hmmmm ....... im sure there is, im just not recalling them off the top of my head.,,,, this isn't a media but one of my main inspirations is just my job,,, i work in dog care, which is where the main "gimmick" of this au- yn's background in DOG care landing them a job in CHILD care -comes from. i thought it'd be funny to plop someone w experience caring for animals into a situation similar but DEFINITELY very different. i've almost treated my little cousins as dogs too (im the oldest out of all ..... 18 of us? i cant remember how many i have,,,) so that was also some food for thought.

i think media ....... the game itself, of course, though that's kind of a non-answer. some of the other fnaf games too honestly. god im realizing ive consumed a painful lack of media recently,,, holey moley,, i should fix that . i think in some way all the minecraft ARG explanation videos ive been listening to in the bg while drawing recently have influenced me in a way that i absolutely Cannot Pin Down, but hey

-- yeah! one im calling "ghost problem" atm, and another im calling "Freddy 'Human Pancake' Fazbear" (its NOT that bad I PROMISE). that one also kinda segways into moon ripping off freddy's chest hatch during the night of security breach. some of my other favorite scenes that live in my head are also translating days ive had at work with the dogs into days yn and the dca can have with the kids in the daycare :} and theres a scene of ness and yn realizing the other works at the plex in a sort of spiderman-pointing-meme way

-- yes!!!! they were very close friends in middle/highschool before yn moved away from utah, to indiana, due to a job opportunity for their dad. their father is a machinist!

yn was very withdrawn and shy in school, and very afraid of expressing themself, and vanessa was quite the opposite- very loud, sure of herself, huge risk taker. rebellious. she sorta did the extrovert-adopt-introvert thing with them and helped gradually drag them out of their shell. they grew very close, vanessa encouraging yn in everything and dragging them along with her on her crazy adventures around their small town and the nearby forest and things. ness was yn's only friend; vanessa had other friends, but she was closest with yn. when yn's family moved away, they fell into a pretty bad depression due to finally forming a solid bond only to have it ripped out of their hands. they and ness fell out of contact due to yn's lack of energy to respond, and by the time they regained that energy they felt too afraid to message her out of fear she would be angry at them, since she had already stopped trying to message them by the time they regained the energy to start communicating with others again.

vanessa recognizes yn immediately upon seeing them again in utah; they really havent changed a bit. by now they've half-retreated back into their meek, timid shell. vanessa's changed a lot, partly because of glitchtrap taking residence in her head, so yn doesn't recognize her at first; even if they did, they'd be too afraid to reach out to her again. luckily, ness has got enough bravery for the both of them.

do note, yn isn't completely helpless when the reunion point comes along; they still retain some of that bravery vanessa helped them develop in school; they've just reverted slightly back into their defense mechanism(?) of acting palettable and timid due to being isolated at school and in their new enviornment after their move again. theyre fighting fiercely to feel like life isn't completely out of their control and theyre just a passenger in their own life; it's part of the reason they moved back to utah on their own- but they're a little scared while doing it.

^ i severely paraphrased this ness and yn part, but ness and yn's friendship is really based off the friendship i have with my irl,,,, luckily i didn't lose contact with them when i moved, and i was lucky i didn't move to a whole new state, but i went through a really hard couple years (3, i think) where i could barely function and cried every day at school because i was so lonely. im lucky i have my best friend, and i want ness and yn's friendship to show how important they are to each other and how important and deep platonic friendships can be and are. i think they'd mean everything to eachother. i know that ness means a lot to yn.

[bookwyrminspiration]

i offer u i went back and looked for mentions of the features i DO remember:

janel-- described as long and slender (NO MUSCLE????) with red eyes like a forge, like fire, etc., nearly-black red hair (the color of blood), red-brown/sienna/chestnut skin, a single stripe of hair from forehead to neck (do all joratese have this???? i cant believe janel just casually has a mohawk and we didn't even notice), and then the black hands and feet. i THOUGHT she had horse markings bc i remember them saying they shipped her to someone to give them to her??? but they're not really actually mentioned in any descriptions of her so did i just imagine it. uhhh.

teraeth-- quote from the ruin of kings: "He was different, resembling a vané who had played in too many fires. His skin was a field of dark ashes, his long hair matte black, his eyes shadowy emeralds. He possessed all the prettiness of the vané race, but was a creature of angles and sharpness. His beauty was that of the razor and not the flower." + you mentioning the long and straight nose (i shall now have to give kihrin an aquiline or like. crooked nose for the funsies) and the slick hair

kihrin-- IF his eyes take after his kirpis mother, they'd be dark blue, and he has golden/yellow hair?? no further descriptions really given but i wrote down some small notes abt his personality to go off of. eventually we will figure that one out! i want to draw thurvishar as well and i know he DEFINITELY has some more detailed descriptions which. pog

I think there will be zero complaints from anyone if you make Janel buff--though I think there might be mention in later books of her being muscular or toned. Jenn does this thing where descriptions are spread across the whole series, so sometimes you don't get a detail until pretty far in. As for her laevos (that's the name for Janel's hairstyle), it's not every single Joratese, but it is a pretty common one! Lower classes will shave the sides of their head to create it and upper class will undergo magicking to no longer grow hair on the side of their heads. Which happened to Janel. She was magicked as a baby to have a nautral laevos and her black hands and feet, but she wasn't given further markings. You did imagine it, but it's also a very reasonable thing to imagine!

For Tereath, I'll have to find that nose thing to double check, but I'm pretty certain it was something like that. I remember specifically making a mental note about how it meant skin tone and features were different in acod than real life. But! This is another situation where I don't think anyone's going to care if you give him a different nose. I don't think basically anyone is going to have anything to say about any art simply because we will be thrilled to have art at all.

As for Kihrin, pretty sure his eyes are a brighter blue because of his dad's side (the blue god-touched thing). And a few more details are that he has dark golden skin, a thin nose, and full lips. He's also described by Galen as being too pretty, knowing he's too pretty, and so can only be an ass about it. He's also got the whip scars on his back. And is tall--though Teraeth is slightly taller.

As for Thurvishar, someone actually very helpfully provided a bunch of screenshots of his descriptions once, but tumblr is being very unhelpful so we'll see if I can find it. AHA!! Here it is. Wow that took me a minute. Anyway. itching to draw them. I've had this shitpost idea in my head for a few weeks now I just need to figure out how I want to draw their characters first

[caseythebunnyboy]

Howdy!

Thank you so much for the drawing! It's amazing. I love your art. I apologize for bringing down the mood I know it bothers you not but last thing I want to do is make you sad! From now on I will only grace you with pure nasty truly deplorable thoughts from a lonely cowboy and my day to day life (aka more deplorable thoughts)! I'll fill you in (full pun intended) as my work will keep me busy soon. I'll describe myself more so you can have a general picture of me :] I'm 6'2 I have no clue on my weight but I am a large man. My thighs and calves are like tree trunks. My hands are incredibly calloused from working for 6 years nonstop. I am very skilled with my hands and fingers tying knots all day and playing the banjo (you can take a man out the south but you can't take the south out of the man) and I have no better way to describe it other than my hands are huge. I have short-ish curly hair and I have a tan almost all of the time when it's not winter. If you want to know anything more about me I am more than happy to oblige your request.

I must admit that while it may sound a bit creepy. I lay awake at night I have thoughts of you. I make up scenarios in my head. I look at your kink list and see how similar we are and can't help but imagine using you in thousands of different ways. Tying you up. bending you over and pounding your little boycunt over and over again until your brain is mush and you're full of cum. Then I untie you and hold you in my arms. Singing to you softly as we drift off.

I'll leave the fantasy there but I hope to hear from you soon. 🤠

thank you so much! but wuh 🥹 please dont feel restricted to only being horny on here! im fine with people talking to me about other emotions, since i know people arent just horny 24/7. its fine!! i wont hate you forever if you show any other sign of feeling that isnt being sexual, i promise.

(rest of the response is under the cut because again, dont wanna clog peoples dashboards 😵‍💫)

i shall also paint you a picture of me in exchange!

im 5'4, last time i checked i was 81 (?) kg, i dont remember the specifics but i was around that weight. my thighs are also big but in more of a marshmallow pillow-ey way than a tree trunk way! my hands are very small, clumsy, soft and frail, with my entire hand from palm to my longest finger (the middle finger) being around 7 inches 😊 the only "toughening up" they got is when i would practice my countrys martial arts, i still practice every once in awhile but very occasionally so they never made my hands calloused 🥹 iam... not skilled at all with my hands. my arm starts shaking and hurting if i draw for too long with no breaks 😵‍💫 i have black fluffy-scruffy hair that can never calm down or stay in one place, and my skin is just naturally always tan since im a person of color 🐇

if youd like to know more about me, id also be happy to oblige! what i want to know about you, is if youve ever cum to the thought of me, hehe 💜 just curious! you dont need to answer if youre not comfy doing so 💜💜 and also! can you claim an emoji and put it at the end of your asks? so i know its you and so you can have a little hashtag, like how 🗝️ anon has one!

anyways! i hope to hear from you soon as well! youre so sweet, cowboy anon 🥹 id love to kiss you all over your face, but thatll just have to wait 🥲 see you soon! (hopefully 💜)

honestly, it doesnt sound creepy at all to me... would it be creepy for me to say im flattered and slightly aroused that you think about me so often? if so, then i guess we're both "creepy", hm? 💜 and jeez, id actually really like that. i love people who can be rough and fast during sex, but the moment its all over theyre back to being sweet and caring 😊 would love to doze off on top of your chest, humming along to your song after you finish breeding my boypussy over and over 💜💜

also side note, ever since i read your ask i cant stop thinking about how nice it would feel for your rougher hands to rub and touch my softer skin... the contrast between their textures would made my head so much dizzier whenever you grab my parts 😵‍💫😵‍💫 make of that what you will...

[malloryywritess]

𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐔𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

Note: This is my first writing, please do not judge. Also I have not finished Shippuden yet.

SFW:

Naruto is clueless about women. He doesn’t necessarily know how to be affectionate romantically at first, but he tries his best.

“Uh- You want me to… cuddle you?” Naruto asks, questioning you. “Yes, pretty please” You say with puppy dog eyes. He looks at your soft expression, love filling his heart. “Fine, I will cuddle you.” He says. Naruto awkwardly climbs into bed with you, his hands shaking. Hes afraid he will do something wrong or mess this up. He just wants to be perfect for you. His face turns to yours as he admits “Y/n, I-I have never cuddled anyone before, im a little nervous..” He states, looking embarrassed. “Shh, thats okay, Naru. Just come a bit closer.” You coo. He listens and comes closer toward you, your bodies up against each other. You lay your head on his chest, along with your hand, drawing circles on it aswell. A comforting feeling fills Naruto’s heart as he wraps his arms around you and you both fall asleep.

He loves PDA and will practically cling to you any chance he gets. He is a very clingy boy when it comes to you.

You wake up to read the alarm, 6:26. As you try to maneuver your way out of bed, tangled by Naruto’s arms and legs, he whines. “Please stay in bed with me.” He pouts. “Naru, you know I need to get up and get ready. I have a mission to get to today.” You state, moving his arms away from you. As you go to get up, he grabs your sleeve. “Please sweetheart, just 5 more minutes?” He whines. You try to say no, but he just looks so cute that you cant refuse. “Okay okay, but we are both getting up after” Naruto’s face lights up as you climb back into bed. He then tangles himself up against you again.

When it comes to his eating habits, you sometimes have to remind him that he needs food other than ramen. Of course you still love the Ichiraku Ramen dates Naruto takes you on.

Entering you and Naruto’s shared house, you find him looking at different options of ramen. At first, you are slightly upset because you said you planned on making dinner, and Naruto promised to eat less ramen and more real food. “Naruto.” You say in a stern manner. He looks at you, somewhat nervous, then he quickly shoves the ramen in a nearby cabinet. “Look, haven’t I told you I want you to eat less ramen. Sure, 3-4 times a week is okay, but you need actual food. Im worried about you Naruto, I just want you to be okay in every way.” You say. Naruto has an almost sad looking expression. “Im sorry, Y/n. I just never knew it or I meant that much to you.” He says. “Of course you mean much to me. Baby you mean everything to me.” You say, pulling him into a big hug. “I love you Naruto.” “I love you too, Y/n”

He hates it when you go on long missions, it worries him. Even when he is Hokage, he debates on if he wants to send you on long missions or not.

Naruto looks at you, sadness filling his eyes. You were going on a mission for at least 1 month. Now to many, that would be somewhat long. For Naruto, it is an eternity. “Im going to miss you. I wish you didn’t have to leave.” He says. “Calm down Naruto. Its fine its just a mission to the Land of Grass, ill be back before you know it.” You say. Naruto steps towards you and puts his hand on your cheek, the other on your waist. “Please be careful, my love. I love you so much, I cannot lose you. You are the love of my life and i will forever be devastated if something bad were to happen to you.” You stare at him in awe. “Naruto, I love you so much.” He smiles and pulls you into a sweet, affectionate kiss.

NSFW:

(Warnings: Unprotected sex, P in V, Sub! Naruto and Dom! Naruto, Breeding kink, Use of “good boy” and “good girl”, Oral (F receiving), Hickeys, Boob sucking)

Naruto is normally in control when you guys have sex. But if you beg him enough, he will be a bottom. He secretly likes being a bottom. He gets very turned on seeing you in control. Hes also very vocal when he does bottom. You just make him feel so good, he can’t help it. It never happens very often though.

As you slide his dick into your wet cunt, Naruto cant help but moan out your name. Your pretty pussy just feels so good. “M’ Y/n, it feels s’ good. Please don’t stop.” He whines. You grab his chin, forcing him to look at you. “You gonna be a good boy for me and make some pretty noises for me?” You ask in a seductive tone. “M-Mhm, yes- ah, m’aam. I’ll be such a g-good boy.” A big tint of red covers his face, along with his cheeky grin. As you increase your pace, practically slamming yourself on him at this point, the noise of his moans increase. “O-oh please, Y/n, please-“ He continues moaning. “Please what baby?” You say, out of breath. “Just p-please, let me cum.” He whines. You start to feel the familiar knot in your stomach, legs shaking as you continue to ride him at full speed. “Yes please, cum with me.” You barely manage to get out. With that you feel his hot, sticky load shoot into your cunt. Right after, you reach your own climax as well, trying to catch your breath. “Thank you for being so good for me, baby.” You say to Naruto.

Naruto is very overprotective and possessive when it comes to you. If someone flirts with you or tries to make any move at you, he will drag you back home and remind you that you are his. He gets jealous often too, but you reassure him that you will stay with him forever.

I am also going to add breeding because Naruto loves seeing his cum drip out of you. It makes him feral at the thought of filling you with babies.

(This is inspired by a video i saw and it was a girl doing the viral dance thing idk what its called. Anyways she did it with her boy best friend and her boyfriend proposed 2 hours later due to jealousy)

Kiba, your best friend, was always jealous of Naruto. When he found out you had started to date Naruto, he was slightly angered because he had some feelings for you. After a while he got over it. Naruto, on the other hand, became more and more jealous. Sometimes it had seemed like Kiba still had some feelings for you, and was trying to take you away from him. Those weren’t Kiba’s intentions at all, and Naruto knew that. He just couldn’t help but feel jealous.

One day while hanging out, you and Kiba tried a dance move you saw. Naruto was not very fond of this (he wouldn’t show it though). But he wanted you to be happy, so he watched you two. You laid yourself on the floor and felt Kiba lift you up by your hand. As he lifted you up, you almost fell. Kiba, reacting quickly, grabbed your waist and pulled you up. That was enough to Naruto. He clenched his fist, getting ready to say something, but he refrained himself. Instead, he had a better idea. Putting on a fake act, he says. “Baby, I dont feel well, I think we need to go.” Trying to act innocent as his blood remained to boil. “Oh thats not good.” You say as you walk up to him. You touch his head and he does feel somewhat warm. But you get the feeling something else is going on. Listening to him, you say goodbye to Kiba, and Naruto drags you out of his house. “Hey, hey. Whats wrong Naruto, is something the matter?” You question as he has a stern look on his face. He carefully picks you up and he quickly runs toward your shared home. Panic fills your mind, what the hell is happening.

As you make it home, he sets you down and opens the front door. The second the door closes, he pushes you up against it, hands above your head. “Naruto, you are re-“ You get cut off by a wet and sloppy kiss, full of lust and greed. “Damnit, you think you can just dance with him like that and expect me to not get jealous. Im super jealous. You used to have feelings for him and he did too.! He was giving you these ‘lovey dovey’ eyes.” You stand there, in shock. Naruto was really that jealous. To be honest, seeing him like this made you very horny. A wet patch began to form in between your legs. “Since you wanna act all innocent and make me all jealous, i’m gonna show you who you belong too. Once ive done that, im gonna fill your pretty little belly with my babies.” He states, lust filling his blue eyes, making them a dark shade. You almost gasp at his words. Babies? You guys have always talked about how you wanted a big family. The thought is only making you want it more. You most definitely want his kids, you are sure of it. “Jump.” He demands. As you jump, he lifts your legs up and brings you to your king sized bed.

He gently puts you down, but after, he isnt so gentle. He quickly starts by bringing his lips to your neck, sucking deep hickeys into it. He needs to mark you, show everyone that you are his. “Oh my, ahh~ Nar- mmm, Naruto” With one swift motion, he slides your shirt off. Then he proceeds to unclip your bra with one hand. “Tell me, who do these boobs belong to?” He asks, giving me a seductive look. “What?” You ask, wondering why he is asking these questions. “You heard me the first time, baby. Who do these beautiful boobs belong to?” He stares into your eyes, slightly making you nervous. You gulp, as you answer. “You.” Naruto smirks. “Mhm~ you’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” You don’t know if you are to respond or not. Naruto takes one good look at you before starting to suck on your nipple, his other hand tugging at the other nipple. “Fuck, Naruto.!” You cry out, grabbing his yellow locks. He leaves purple marks on your boobs as well. Slowly, he kisses his way down your stomach, then to your skirt. By this time, he is rock solid, his cock it’s practically begging to be touched.

Looking up for approval, he sees how much he has affected you. He hasn’t even fucked you yet and you are somewhat worn out. You give him a nod and he slides your skirt down, along with your panties. Making sure you don’t feel too uncovered, he takes his shirt off along with his pants. ‘God, he looks so fuckin’ good like this.’ You think. His abs are sticking out and you can see the obvious tent in his pants. He leans down and slowly sticks a single digit into your tight pussy. Unaware of this, you let out a small moan. He then slides another digit in, making him have to hold your legs apart to stop you from closing them. “Naru- Please, I need more.” And he doesn’t disappoint. He flicks his tongue on your clit before sucking on it like his life depends on it. Naruto starts to increase the speed of his fingers. “Shit, you make me.. feel s’good baby. Mmm please keep this up, ‘m gonna- fuck~ cum soon.” You get out in between breaths. As his fingers hit your g-spot, you can feel your climax etching its way to reality. With a few more thrusts of his fingers, the knot in your tummy snaps and you cum all over his fingers and mouth. He wastes no time lapping it all up before he gets up again.

Naruto takes off his boxers, and his cock springs out of them, slightly hitting his stomach. Pre-cum is leaking out of the tip and his tip is bright red. He lines up the head of his cock with your pussy, proceeding to tease you. Taking his cock and rubbing it between your entrance. Whines leave your mouth, wondering why he’s such a tease. Finally he pushes his full length in. He is average, but very girthy. The first time you guys ever hooked up, you weren’t sure it was going to fit. Pure ecstasy fills your body as he starts to thrust into you, moans filling your room. “Baby, who does this pussy belong to?” He asks. “You.” You say, his thrusts becoming faster. “Ahh~ fuck.. please. Please go faster, my love.” You beg. His fingernails dig into your thighs as he continues pounding into you. “Who gets to see you like this? All fucked out of your mind, begging for more?” “Only y-you, baby” His pace increases by the second now, ruthlessly pounding into you as you scream. “Who, do you… belong to?” He pants in between thrusts. “You Naruto, you!” You scream out. The tip of his cock continuously hits your cervix. You are about at your limits, you just need a little more. Naruto gives a little more. “Scream my name, let the whole village know who you belong to. Let me fill you with our kids. Show everyone that you are mine!” He moans out, taking his thumb to circle your clit. You scream and moan his name until you finally feel your release. Legs shaking and barely being able to catch your breath, you feel your boyfriend’s seed fill you up. He has just filled you with a baby. As he pulls out, he watches his cum roll down your cunt. Taking his finger, he pushes it back in, as he has a big smile on his face. Wanting to make sure you get as much in as possible. Then you guys end up taking a shower together (he will fill you up more in there too).

Note: hey guys, how was it? hopefully not bad loll 😭😭. i only spent 2 days trying to write this. please leave any requests you have and i will tey to get to them asap!!

Love yall,

Mal Mal 🤍🎀

[its-snicket-here]

after you posted that pandoras actor post i cant stop thinking about supreme being!reader who seems very quiet and collected, and they get asked like "what… do you see in pandoras actor????" and they just go full Jessica Rabbit mode and say "He makes me laugh." (this isnt a request unless you want it to be, this is just a random idea i liked btw) I imagine having someone like Pandora's Actor could refreshing ???????? because everything else that happens with Ainz is too intense. Sometimes you need some cringe in your life. Its good for your soul. Maybe smooch it even.

I still have PTSD from my Creepypasta phase, Hetalia phase, and my edgy/emo/"depressed" phase all together. Every single day I think about it, I curl up in cringe and wish I never remember it in my life.

BUT ANYWAYS

Y E S

I personally see (and hope that everyone sees) that PA is honestly a refresher, because honestly, he seems more... human like than anybody else ironically. He doesn't necessary follows orders without any questions, as he is willing to question orders if needed - but also like, EMBARRASS AINZ BECAUSE HE WAS BUILT LIKE THAT, DESPITE BEING MONSTERS.

I also see that PA is like... an embarrassing remainder of Ainz's more human side. Despite all the exterior of being the wise, powerful, monstrous, all knowing being, it's nice to being smooch by humanity a bit. Just to take a break from the position he's in forcefully. Away from Albedo, away from Shalltear, away from Demiurge, away from everybody that sees him differently. He just want to be known as Momonga, not Ainz Ooal Gown.

10/10 recommend 2 hours under PA's bubble to feel human again with a smooch and a constant reminder of your cringey moments.

I'm also going to flesh this idea out more, sorry this came out shitty qwq

"U-uhm, pr-pretty lady?"

"Hm?"

The date was unknown during the time when that child asked... everything was fuzzy when you tried to remember that memory. All you remember was the warmth it gave you when you remembered that child. The warmth of feeling human again...

That child was playing with your hair, no, attaching flowers in your hair when they asked. You were surprised when that child didn't fear you when the two of you met. You were an arachne, half spider half human, and still no fear were sensed. That child intrigued you heavily to the point where it became a daily thing to visit them... during the day? No... Night time... It was night time you always come visit. They... They lived in a village where the population wasn't that much, but big enough where... large farms... existed.

"Why do you feel happy when you talk.... P-pandora A-actor?" Your lower body's fangs clicked quietly, almost as it was a laugh when you were questioned about that. A pure soul...

"Well, he makes me laugh... Of course, he also reminds me too much of my... old... friends..." You dabbled on. "He makes me feel like a human. Honestly a breather from my duties as a supreme leader, despite cringing on my friend's creation." The concept of time would seem to not exist when you dabbled on about him while the child would play with your hair.

"One day..." You chattered on, "One day you will get the chance to see him..." The hands on your hair seems to ghost on you once you snap back to reality.

The grass tumbles and tussles against the cold night air. You couldn't see how dark or light the night is due to your blindness, but on instinct you could tell it was dark. You clicked softly, frowning at your own hopefulness. You were alone where a village once known to exist where gone, yet still here you are still at the same spot where the two of you met. In your hands was a messily drawn image of him, though it was slightly crumpled through your reminisce.

"I promised you that you would see him one day..." You said quietly. The grass continued to tussle and tumble in the wind, almost like a quiet melody to hide the silence in the village. "... I'm sorry if the drawing is bad because of my distraction, I can redraw it again when I come visit you one day..."

The pile of stones with many small gifts seems to beg to differ though...

[dearsnow]

hiii, first of all I LOVE YOUR WORK. I am so so sorry I don't interact with your fics, because my fic reblogging tumblr is my second one and I do feel lil awkward to be interacting with my main one, but I always like and reblog! But truly, you are my fave quarry writer, something about your works hits different, they are so amazing imho. That being said would it be alright to request an abi x reader when the reader dyes their hair red like hers to match her? (i cant remember whether it's okay to request either a fem!reader or that they would have long hair, but please do ignore this in case it's not, so sorry about that!) I really lack abi content and believe you'd write it perfectly! Probably more of a fic format but not sure how much of a full fic this would make so feel free to add anything to it! I hope it's alright, thank you so much in advance and have a great rest of today and the days ahead : )

AUBURN LOVE

- you dye your hair red to match your girlfriend’s. (abigail blyg x gn!long-haired!reader)

word count: 303

a/n - thank you so much 😭😭😭😭 that means the whole world to me. and i’m also sorry i took so long to get to this ☹️

“Abi.” You whisper, hair tickling her face lightly. “Look what I did.”

Your girlfriend stirs from her position on the couch. In your heart, though, you know she won’t be fully awake for another 10-20 minutes. She looks so at peace, with sunlight flittering over her rising and falling chest. Her hair is a tangled mess partially covering her face and her mouth is slightly open. She looks like the most beautiful girl in the world.

“C’mon Abs.” You poke her gently and she swats your hand away from her face. “You gotta see it. Please?” After a little bit of prompting, she opens her eyes just a crack.

Then they get wider as she tries to process what she’s seeing. She reaches a hand up and threads it through your locks, staring at you with a starstruck gape.

She pulls her hand back. “You dyed your hair?” She whispers, voice laden with sleep.

“To match yours. Surprise!” You laugh, bending down further to place a kiss on her forehead. She wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you down to meet her with a huff of effort.

You did it because you knew it would make her smile that pretty smile of hers. You’ll really do anything to make her happy- dye your hair, kiss her on the cheek, draw silly little doodles of her on a crumpled napkin. That, and so much more. You think, for the first time in your life, you know what love feels like. You’ve experienced it firsthand. It’s the bubbly feeling you get when she glances your way and the quiet scritch-scratching of her pencil on paper. There’s nothing and no one you could want more than this.

“I love it.” Her warm breath fans over the crook of your neck.

“And I love you.”

[thatweirdguyinthebushes]

cant answer the ask for some reason so here is the screenshot of it and my reply beneath

[alt text: anonymous asked: Hey, I hope you’re having a good day. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on cpawnduo(i’ve also seen them be called fireflyduo)? I think they’re surprisingly similar in the way they think but they have fundamental differences. They have an interesting dynamic but I don’t see them talked about too often. end alt text.] c!firefly duo is a horrible name im filled with rage everytime i hear it anyways yes c!dream and c!tubbo live in my head rent free and youre right they have a surprising amount of similarities that people dont talk about enough. theyre both the logical, quieter type, obviously, but also they have very similar ideas on things like attachment and morality. in the exile of tommy, tubbo makes two comments on attachment: "They're just music discs. They shouldn't get to dictate the future of an entire nation!" and "The discs don't matter, Tommy! How can you not see that?" He doesn't understand Tommy's attachment to items or things that have, in Tubbo's view, no meaning in anything but the abstract, which isn't something he places much value on. It's unclear how much of this view is something more deeply rooted or in his nature and how much is a response to losing his homes and possessions so often. But either way, it is the most fundamental difference between him and Tommy, besides the obvious "head vs heart" thing they have going on. Dream makes a similar and much more well known speech in the vault of attachments, where he informs Tommy that, having realised attachments were the thing that not only controlled Tommy's actions, but the actions of everyone on the server, he deliberately destroyed the things he was attached to and cut ties with all of his friends. This is obviously similar to what has happened to Tubbo, although in Tubbo's case it was due to outside forces acting upon him and in Dream's case it was deliberate. You can even draw the conclusion that maybe part of Dream's motivation for cutting away his attachments was seeing that it had made Tubbo a slightly more effective leader, even if he wasn't quite good enough at it to be a 'good' one, although I acknowledge that's a bit of a stretch, considering how lowly Dream thought of Tubbo. In the same stream, Dream mentions that "evil is in the eye of the beholder... you're evil to me." This demonstrates Dream's idea that there is no real good or evil, that moral conviction itself is more of a story telling device -- that only the naive (like Tommy and Wilbur) think it's real. Considering how much he makes references to story telling devices/tropes in his monologues, I don't think this is that much of a stretch. Tubbo has similar ideas about good and evil. After their talk with Quackity at the outpost, Ranboo asks his husband if he thinks they're doing something bad, and adds on "am I a bad person because of that?". Tubbo responds with "Right and wrong isn't really a fair way to describe things. Right and wrong depends on which side you're on." The main difference between them, I think, is that Tubbo's lack of attachment to things is mostly about things without practical use. He doesn't understand sentimentality (or, if we're being honest, empathy) very well. But he still undoubtedly has an attachment to people, and although the way he expresses that care is often muted and lacking and not enough, he still does feel it, and makes that clear in the ways that he can, which normally involve rescue missions, a willingness to put his life on the line, and other grand gestures that keep him from having to directly say i love you to anyone. His ultimate goal, even with his lack of real scruples or attachment, is still to look out for and protect the people he cares about. Dream, on the other hand, has cut his attachments deliberately, which includes his attachment and care for the people around him. He deliberately cuts George and Sapnap out of his life, blows up his house, gets rid of anything that doesnt have strictly practical use. His ultimate goal is to have control over other people, as he says in the vault of attachment. If he holds all of their treasured things, and keeps the one thing he could be threatened with (Tommy) locked in prison, then he has complete power. It's even a little pet theory of mine that the reason he immediately resorts to murdering Tubbo is not just for the reasons he states, but because Tubbo, similar to him, doesn't have any physical attachments, and has proven to be willing to give up even his closest ones, like his friends, if he thinks it's for the greater good, but thats a sidenote. TLDR: c!Pawnduo are incredibly fascinating and I wish more people talked about them more, essentially, especially in regards to how similar they are (although it's a comparison that they would both hate to hear).

[bamsara]

bam WHAT happened to you in the hospital????????

If I ever see my old doctors again, I am going to attack on sight

big rant below (hidden for health tw, malpractice, ableism)

I deleted that post prior because I didn't even want to look at it anymore but anyway malpractice and abuse happen to afab patients especially poc because of the whole "women exaggerate their symptoms and pain" bullshit

some doctors are so conceited and self assured that they will fight to YOUR death that they were right even if the machines you're hooked up on are screaming because your heart rate is heavy dropping and racing 192, you've lost all feeling and function of your limbs and there's no blood going to your brain.

The doctor I had just stood there like "its just anxiety calm down" until a different nurse/doc person walked in and looked at the scene like "what the fuck am i witnessing" and gave me a shot of andosene(??) idk the actual medicine but it dropped my heart rate hard and it felt like I blipped out of life for a few seconds before coming back

I had (have?) temporary brain damage from the heart pumping too quickly, it didn't have enough time to fill with blood and so no blood was sent to my brain. This caused me months on months of pain and loss of function.

Using fine motor functions like fingers and certain movements of the limbs were difficult. I could not type or draw as easily as I could before. I accidently dropped full drinks and had glass shatter on the floor because my hand just *decided* to stop having grip strength without my say so. I developed minor tics and had speech problems. One half of my body was numb and cold all the time and one side of my face was slightly stiffed. (not all the way, thankfully, but I had a notably lopside)

anyway, my primary caregiver doc is this old white dude that had the audacity to first tell me it was just anxiety and depression and then second, ask me if I was on some 'drugs he didn't know about' (which idk why he'd ask when they have all my lab shit) and then just say "well I cant help you if you won't accept my diagnoses" and then charged me $48 in co-pay for a doctor-to-patient session that lasted under two minutes of him just calling me a liar.

I went back a second time and the dude wanted to send me to a fucking psychiatric ward. Said my symptoms were all in my head.

I couldn't switch docs because my insurance doesn't allow it, but I got some money saved up (patrons really came in clutch) and went to a different clinic and the lady I saw there was like "yeah no you're fucked up, let me help"

anyway that was late last year to january-ish and for the beginning part of 2021 I was doing recovery appointments. I'm doing completely better now but I have like, an intense caution with healthcare caregivers now

on the upside i made some pretty banging shitposts during this time

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

OBSESSIVE STOLAS X Male Imp Pt.1

(This is a long fanfic and will consist of multiple parts.)

The day Stolas met you, the life which had been boring at worst and full of love and respect at best, was in complete shambles. Broken ever since the "Brunch incident".

He and his wife were barely on speaking terms, and when they did speak, it would almost exclusively devolved into a fight filled with harsh words and thrown objects.

His darling starfire hadn't spoken to him in over a week. Something he'd usually chock up to teenage angst, but she actively avoided him now.

Something she'd never do before.

And so with his homelife slowly tearing him apart, he naturally thought a visit to his favourite Imp in all hell would brighten his day.

And that's where you came in.

You'd worked at I.M.P for the last few months and were quickly becoming a valued member of the I.M.P family.

Youd just finished a job and were about to fill out the rather tedious paperwork the job entailed, When the towering Demon Prince entered the office.

You were too proud an Imp to admit it, but when you first saw Prince Stolas you were a little starstruck.

Said Prince, apon finding a new Imp at I.M.P's office immediately inquired as to who you were

Taken off guard by suddenly be talking to a Prince of hell, you spent a moment fumbling your words, before finally telling him your name.

Stolas finding the whole thing quiet adorable.

Stolas sparked up a conversation, asking how you ended up at I.M.P and your work with the company. Something you were more than happy to tell him about.

You told him how Blitzø had hired you after youd single handedly killed 3 men in a fight with only a can opener.

Then you told him about how working as an assassin was challenging but enjoyable work, all things considered.

You tell him how working for the chaotic force of nature that is Blitzø was great too, when he wasn't being a prick.

As charming as Stolas found your slightly flustered conversation. There was a purpose to his visit. And so asking you if Blitzø was in, to which you told him he was in his office.

Stolas suddenly became anxious, wondering aloud if his outfit was presentable or not.

This caused you to laugh, placing a hand over your mouth.

Stolas was immediately indignant, demanding to know what was so funny.

You killed the laugh with a cough, before telling him you laughed because simply put "You'd never seen a more ravishing demon in all your time in hell" And for him to be anxious was funny to you.

Stolas Blushed hard, a Warmth he didn't understand spreading through his chest. It had been so long since he'd received such praise from someone who wasnt utterly subservient to him.

Sputtering out an timid thank you, before immediately making his way Blitzø's office, Ignoring your cries to wait.

Being violently thrown out of Blitzø's office was not how he saw this unplanned little 'Rendezvous' going.

Blitzø stepped out stared down at him, a mixture of disgust and anger plain on his face.

'I'm so sick of this shit stolas' Blitzø grumble out, pinching the bridge between his eyes. 'We made a Fucking deal, I come over ONCE a MONTH and fuck your brains out. And you leave me alone unless you have a job for us.'

Stolas tried to reply, trying to explain why he was there. But before he could Blitzø interjected 'I can put up with all creepy perverted texts and shit, but I am not your God Damned SEXTOY Stolas! I don't want to see your ass don't here again!' He screamed, before slamming the door.

Stolas just sat there. Unwilling to move. He felt like he'd just been slapped.

His eyes stung. His throat burned. He clutched at the ground, and even as his world fell apart around him, he could only focus on one thing.

He felt so cold...

He had no one.

No one loved him.

He felt so cold...

It took everything he had not to breakdown, he couldn't, not here. It was unbecoming of a prince to been seen showing such weakness.

The sudden sensation of something on his shoulder. Daring to open his eyes, he was shocked to find You, standing over him. Hand on his shoulder and a sympathetic smile on your face.

You reached into your coat and removed a handkerchief.

Croutching down you wiped the growing dew around his eyes.

Putting away the hanky, you stood up and offered him a hand.

Helping him to his feet, you asked him if he was okay. Stolas immediately tried to put up his aristocratic facade and assure you he was fine.

Only for the words to die in his throat and for him to almost burst into tears again.

Leading him into the nearby office, you find yourself in the conference room. You sat him on said conference table.

Quickly zipping off, you returned a moment later with a little plastic cup of water.

Handing the little cup, he took it with a wordless thanks.

Stolas felt cold.

He felt like his whole world was falling apart. He had nothing.

His wife couldnt stand him.

His beloved Starfire wouldn't stay in the same room as him.

He had nothing and no one.

No one loved him.

Why should he even go on.

Even through there crimson glow, you could see just how close he was to breaking down.

So before his despair could consume him completely, you did the only thing you could think of.

You climbed atop the conference table and pulled the poor owl-boi into a hug.

It was a little awkward due to the height difference, but standing on the table brought you high enough to pull his head onto your chest.

Stolas was utterly shocked, not just by the action itself, But the fact you did this on your own acord.

He didn't have to barter or beg or make promises for your affection.

You just... gave it freely.

He couldnt help himself.

It had been so long since he'd last felt the loving touch of another soul.

And for you to give affection so openly, he felt he could let himself be vulnerable to you. He releases a long anguished cry, bursting into tears.

You just held him close, gently petting his head, whispering words of comfort, telling him everything would be okay.

He didn't know why but your words brought out

Stolas threw his arms around you, holding onto you as though you were the last anchor in his sea of despair.

The poor owl drenched the front of your shirt with his dejected tears.

Stolas didn't know how long he cried for, and you simply didn't care.

You could tell he needed this and were more then happy to give the demonic prince some much needed affection.

Eventually, Stolas shed all the tears he had, standing up he unintentionally pulled himself from your warm embrace.

Stolas instantly missed the warmth of your touch. The same all consuming coldness as before instantly returning.

Looking up at Stolas you draw your handkerchief and go to wipe his tear stained face.

But before you could, Stolas grabbed your hand, his other hand was placed on the back of your head, he pulls you into a kiss.

You weren't sure how to react, stolas certainly didn't give you any time to figure it out as he pulled you deeper into the kiss.

While you were initially shocked by the kiss, you honestly, didn't care to put up any kind of resistance.

While you would of preferred he asked for a kiss, you could tell the guy needed this. And all things considered, you were happy to oblige him.

So when his tongue slid across your teeth, asking for entrance, you wrapped your arms around his neck you let it in, giving stolas full access to your mouth.

You began leaning into the kiss, doing your best to return his passion.

Stolas, took your returning passion as further permission, he became more aggressive.

His tongue dominated your mouth, as his hands began roamed across your body.

Stolas was in bliss, each time you shivered or moaned, bringing him further pleasure.

Taking each sound as encouragement, he became more and more aggressive. Sure that each sound you made was an unconscious sign of love.

He became more desperate to hear your angelic voice as moaned or cried out. Desperate to hear someone say they loved him.

Gripping his head, you tried to de-escalate the situation before it got out of hand.

Of course that was easier said then done, as Stolas was much stronger then he looked. But after much effort, despite Stolas's silent insistence that you continue, you finally managed to break the kiss.

Stolas's forceful nature found you pushed back onto the table. Stolas towering over you, staring down at you with those awe inspiring crimson eyes.

'We cant be this doing this' You try to tell him 'Not here. What if someone walks in on us?' The question hung in the air. When it became obvious it wasn't deterring his growing need you asked 'What if Blitzø catches us?'

Stolas pulled back at that.

Looking to the side he rubbed his arm, Anxiety bubbling in his chest.

Stolas hadn't thought of that.

What if Blitzø did walk in?

Finding him with one of his employees.

In his office.

Would Blitzø be upset?

Would he yell at him, scream and throw a fit, insisting he had betrayed him...

Would Blitzø even care?

There was a part of him that said 'Of course he would. Blitzø, no matter how much he denied it, surely Blitzø cared for him on some level.'

Stolas could tell himself that all he wanted, but deep down, he knew the truth.

He placed his hand on your cheek, looking down at you. He tried to speak only for a new wave of emotions hit him, causing him on reflex to fall silent.

It was in that moment, as he stood over you, did he realis he didn't need to hide his vulnerability from you. You weren't judging him, he could be vulnerable to you and would judge him for it.

His heart swelled and despite having just met you, he found himself developing a deep yearning to be with you.

'I-I know this is sudden. And you have every right to say no. But please... No one has ever shown me such genuine affection like you have today.'

' I'm so used to people only interested in me for my status or resources.' Stolas held himself, looking dejectedly to the side. A new wave of sorrow enveloping him.

'Your the only one who's shown me the slightes care, past what I could do for them.' He didn't meet your gaze, he ran his hand down your chest, his voice becoming just above a whisper. 'I have nothing (Y/N), I have no one. Right now your the only thing I have.'

'I need to feel something (Y/n), I need to feel something before I fall apart, and I want feel it with you.' He was practically begging you by this point.

Things like pity and mercy were a death sentence in hell.

There was nothing stopping you from saying no. You cared little for royalty. You weren't some door mat that took every word from royalty as gospel.

But right now, this great Demonic Prince standing before you. He didn't want your obedience. He wasn't forcing you to do anything.

He just wanted some sort of affection. something you knew you could give him so easily.

How could you say no?

With a deep sigh, you resigned yourself to your fate. Leaning forward you place your hand under his chin and raised his head to meet your gaze. Stolas was shocked when pulled him close and planted a kiss on his his beak.

'Lock the door' you whispered.

[raggaraddy]

Sugar Daddy turned sour

Request: Hi!!!! read all of ur works its all amazing cant believe ur new.. can i request for a yan sugar daddy taehyung x reader x yan sugar daddy jungkook. they found out that that y/n have 2 sugar daddies and they lost their sanity(as if they even have that)...Thank u and YOU GOOD,KEEP GOING💜💞💞💞💞😘😁

A/N: I don't know how to post a reply to a personal message yet because I am new and Tumblr deficient 😅 But I hope you like the scenario ^-^ thanks for the request 💜

Here for Part 2

Summary: Juggling two guys and getting everything you want from them has always been easy for you, and Taehyung and Jungkook are no exception. Or so you thought.

Trigger warnings: Mentions of non-con, assault, cheating, violence.

Yandere! Taehyung

Yandere! Jungkook

Sunday.  Taehyungs day.  

You open your webcam, checking your eyeliner quickly in the startup view as you wait for the Tae to pick up on the other side. He pops up quickly a beaming smile filling his face.  

“Y/n! Baby, I’ve missed you.” He’s radiant. As happy and as bubbly he always is. 

You go along listening to him excitedly run through his past few days, telling you everything in excruciating detail as he jumps from one half-finished thought to another. He may be an adult but he certainly has a young soul. The whole while you feign attention, your fingers continually fidgeting with the diamond necklace or the matching bracelet he had sent you a few weeks back.

“How was your weekend?”  He finally gets around to asking. 

“Not so good. I always have to work so much," You complain, batting your eyes at the camera.  

“You could always quit and come live with me.” He jokes-but not really. It’s a topic he has raised 3 times already.  And you have the same answer ready as always. 

“Daddy, you know I’m a strong and independent woman. I could never let someone else pay for me.” You pout, running your tongue over your lower lip while pushing your chest up a little to draw attention.  “It’s just my rent is so expensive. I feel like I work just to pay the bills.” 

In truth, your rent is already being covered by someone else.  But he doesn’t need to know that. 

While you continue to run through the fabricated details of your weekend, Taehyung is distracted, looking down at his phone.  You know what's happening. It’s like a game. And you’re winning. Your banking app sends a notification, letting you know that K. Taehyung has just sent you a payment. 

You open it up. Yep. That's rent for the month.  Or more, money for that new TV you wanted.  

“Oh! Daddy, noo.” You whine down the camera. “You can’t.  I am okay. Really. Please don’t spend your money on me.” You frown if only to stop the smile that is fighting to fill your face. 

“I want to baby. I have the money, and I just want you to be happy. Don’t stress about bills okay. I’m here.” 

Sometimes, it’s almost too easy.  

“Okay Daddy, if you insist.”

Tuesday.  Jungkooks day.  

With Jungkook it’s a much more straightforward transaction.  He has said he wants to pay for you and he hates the back and forth pretences.  He just wants you to say thank you, smile pretty, and give him all your attention.  

“Do you need anything more for the week?” He asks through the camera.

“No Daddy, you take such good care of me. Thank you.” You smile. 

“You still have the weekend of the 14th off?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.  Off-screen you quickly scan through your calendar.  

14th, 15th and 16th: Jk weekend.  

Hmm, that came up quicker than you expected. You try to keep your booty calls with them as far apart as possible. 

“Of course, I’m so excited! I haven’t seen you in weeks.” You say, it been less than 100% truthful.

“Months.” He corrects with a surreptitious undertone.  

“Where are we staying this time?” 

You always insist to stay in hotels. Because ‘your apartment feels too busy and mundane, and you want the time you spend with him to be magical and undistracted’. Honestly, you just don’t want him, either of them, in your personal space. You purposefully chose boys who live a few hours away.  It’s hard enough to keep them separated in your everyday life with them being far away. It could only get messy for them to know where you live and how to reach you in person.

You’ve certainly gotten smart at this. Arranging the two men into different days of the week, scheduling them into your calendar to keep them apart and unaware of the other. Both had specifically said very early on that they do not want to share you with anyone else.  And that you were all theirs. And while both of them seemed to trust you, you knew their reactions would be unpleasant, to say the least, if they found out about the other. 

Sugar Daddies can be so possessive. 

But while both these men are very handsome, money is better and more reliable than boys. And if they are stupid enough to spend it all on you, why should you care.

The week passes quickly and it’s the 14th.  Once more you find yourself in the lobby of a 5-star hotel. Jungkook arrived in town early and sent you a message with the room number. 

Time to actually work for your money. 

You knock on the door only to find it slightly open.  Entering there is a trail of rose petals lining the floor leading into the suite. All the lights are dimmed with a warmth of candlelight filling the room. This is so typically Jungkook. Pulling out all the stops to try to impress. 

Dropping your bag at the entrance, you close the door behind you and explore inwards.  

“Daddy?” You call out in a singsong voice. Your heels clack on the tiled floor as you round the corner into the living room. Jungkook is sitting on the lounge, one leg crossed over the other, arms rested up over the back. You smile at seeing him. You always seem to forget just how stunning he is in person. 

“Which one of us are you referring to?” A deep voice startles you from behind. You jolt, spinning to see Taehyung standing behind you leaning against the wall.  

Holy fuck. 

Your mind starts to jumble through what is happening. Thinking about what it was that might have given you away. Evaluating how much they may know. And planning your next move.  

Damn it.  You doubt you’ll be able to smooth talk your way out of this with Jungkook. He’s too direct and absolute. So you’ll just have to accept that that relationship is over. However, you might be able to salvage this situation with Taehyung if you play your cards right. Being defensive should do the trick.

“What is this?” You snap, keeping focused on Taehyung. “This is such a violation of my privacy! You keep smothering me Taehyung! See this is why I tried to find someone else to hang out with.” You stomp your foot. He would always wrap around your finger so quickly with the little girl act. 

“Ha!” He blurts out a short laugh in contradiction to how you expected him to react. “Wow. No, go on. I want to see where this is going.” 

“Do you think we only just found out about each other?” Jungkook pipes up, coming from the couch. 

You sigh. You had almost saved enough for a holiday to the Maldives too. But they seem to know too much. Fine. You can burn both relationships. They were starting to get too clingy anyway.  “Whatever.” You roll your eyes. You got all you could from them. Time to move on to the next.

As you shrug them off, Taehyung steps into the path of the front door. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Both he and Jungkook start to close in tighter. There is a cold tone to his words. Something far too close to a threat for your comfort. Even in heels, both men naturally stand taller than you which usually wouldn’t bother you. But with an unsteadiness to your footing and a very short dress on, in a dark room with two men you have used and spurned, you are feeling even more vulnerable than you feel you should. 

“Move.” You order. 

A smirk on his lips, Taehyung lifts his hand up and backhands you, knocking you back a few stumbled steps. You gasp, your hand clinging to your cheek, eyes wide in shock. He starts forward, Jungkook intervening, standing between the two of you. 

You can not believe he just hit you! He has never done anything like that before.

“No, don’t do that.” He stops Taehyung as he starts to swing again.  Shaking all over, you’re relieved that one of them is seeing sense.  You take the outstretched hand of Jungkook, lip trembling from the burn on your cheek. He draws you closer and you wrap into him for protection. In the same motion, his free hand swings down punching you in the stomach, doubling you over, dropping you to the floor. “If you hit her head, she might get spaced out. I want her to feel this.”

His words send a chill down your spine. This can not be happening.

“Are you crazy!” You gape, trying to speak while gulping down air. Your head is dizzy, your lungs burning.  Kicking off your heels for better movement, you climb back up to your feet not wanting to engage either man. Eyes focused you look past Taehyung to the door, storming forward. “I’m leaving. We’ll forget all of this, okay.” You bargain through short, panicked breath. 

Taehyungs large hand slams you into the wall, pressing his palm against your shoulder. He follows Jungkooks lead, pounding his fist into your gut. And then again. And again.  His hold removes letting you free and you plummet to the ground, crying within broken huffs while cradling your battered torso. 

“You’re right. That is better.” He laughs at Jungkook. 

“Stop!” You beg, unable to raise your voice above a soft yelp. 

“What's wrong baby? You wanted two men. Now you have them.” Taehyungs bright smile returns to his face. This time with an entirely different meaning than it had ever had until it shifts into a straight, harsh look that you have never seen from him. “Didn't you always say you wished there was some way you could repay me?” 

“You said that to me too.” Jungkook joins his side, both hovering above you, trapping you between them, the wall, and the floor. 

Leaning down Jungkooks hand follows you as you squirm away from him. His fingers wrapped around your throat and lift you up, keeping you against the wall. He takes advantage of you being stuck, leaning into you pressing his lips to yours as you resist as much as you can. 

“Baby, you’re going to pay us back for every dollar we spent on you.” He snarls. 

Taehyung turns your face to him, also forcing a kiss on you. “Don’t worry, Y/n, you’ll see that we know how to share.”  

Part 2

[blacktofade]

Hi!! for the prompt thing!! ryan getting so caught up with other things that he doesn’t realize shane is slowly slipping away ?? im really into angst with happy ending or hurt/comfort bc im a cotton candy that cant handle too much angst but it’s really up to u!! ☺️☺️☺️

Boy am I late with this one. This isn't even what you wanted, because I like Ryan calling Shane out on his shit.

CW: smoking. Also, pandemic? What pandemic?

*

Shane’s leaning against a retaining wall in the parking lot when Ryan eventually comes to find him. He takes another drag of his cigarette and watches as Ryan steps out of the building, tucking his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and drawing his shoulders in against the cold as he glances around, clearly knowing Shane is nearby, but not knowing where.

When he spots Shane, his expression opens, a smile spreading across his face.

Shane tips his head in acknowledgment, turning slightly to the left to exhale a breath that’s a mix of smoke and condensation.

“Hey,” Ryan says, when he’s close enough. “Thought I’d find you out here.”

Shane knocks ash off the end of his cigarette and offers him a smile. “Needed a break.”

Ryan lets out a quiet laugh. “What, you don’t like the office packed with thirty more people than it can reasonably fit?”

Shane snorts. “You said the more the merrier when we planned this winter party.”

“I think I underestimated things,” Ryan says, his shoulders seeming to loosen, and Shane shrugs.

“I dunno. It seems fitting for our first year.”

Ryan laughs again and nods. “It’s been — chaotic.”

“Understatement,” Shane grunts.

“We did okay, I think,” Ryan tells him, or perhaps tells himself, and Shane grunts again. Ryan lets out a huff of laughter. “What? You’d do something differently if you redid this year?”

“Sounds like a topic for Steven’s next employee survey,” Shane jokes, but Ryan keeps watching him, as though waiting for an answer.

“But would you have changed anything?”

Shane hesitates. “Seems like a loaded question.”

Ryan doesn’t say anything and Shane takes another drag of his cigarette and exhales away from him to be polite.

“You okay?” Shane asks after a moment, because it seems like the right thing to do.

Ryan still doesn’t say anything, but instead holds out his hand, silently requesting Shane’s cigarette.

It’s not a good sign.

The last time Ryan had smoked in front of Shane had been over one too many drinks after contract negotiations with BuzzFeed. Ryan’s hands had been shaking too much to light the cigarette and Shane had needed to do it for him.

Ryan takes a draw, coughing almost immediately and making Shane laugh before he can help himself.

“Smoking’s bad for you,” Shane deadpans and Ryan doesn’t react, but touches a thumb to the corner of his own mouth as though thinking.

He takes another drag, not coughing this time.

“Do you ever feel like you have to choose between things?” Ryan asks, taking Shane off guard.

“Like red or white wine?” Shane tries to joke, but it doesn’t land and Ryan silently passes his cigarette back.

“No, between work and life.”

Shane scratches at his stubble and taps away a little more ash. “If you’re having issues with work-life balance, you should tell Steven.”

Ryan lets out a laugh that sounds slightly self-deprecating. “No, that’s not — that’s not what I mean.”

“Well, I can’t read minds, Ryan.”

Shane takes one last drag of his cigarette and stubs it out against the concrete wall behind, exhaling while Ryan seems to think about what it is he’s trying to say. Carefully, Shane wets his fingers on his tongue and pinches at the end of the cigarette until it’s cool enough to slip back into the packaging to throw away later, and puts the carton in his pocket.

“It's been a really good year,” Ryan finally says after a long moment, though Shane can hear the but in his voice. "But it feels like you’re avoiding me.”

Shane’s stomach sinks. “Avoiding you?”

“When was the last time we did anything outside of work?”

Shane wants another cigarette already, just for something to do with his hands. Instead, he tucks them into the pockets of his chinos.

He doesn’t answer Ryan, but only because he can’t remember the last time.

“You barely even text me unless it’s work related,” Ryan presses.

Shane knows what he’s talking about. He won’t deny that. But it doesn’t make it easier.

“It’s a startup,” Shane tries. “We’re gonna be busy for a while.”

“Shane, don’t bullshit me.”

Shane takes his advice and shuts his mouth.

“Are you avoiding me?” Ryan presses and Shane lets out a sigh.

“If we spend all day working together and hang out after, you’ll get sick of me.”

Ryan watches him and Shane knows he has his answer.

“This is literally no different from what we had before at BuzzFeed,” Ryan points out and Shane shakes his head.

“This is legally binding now.”

Ryan laughs like he thinks Shane is the most ridiculous person ever, which he probably does. “You say that like we got married.”

“We did a little bit.”

“If I have to call you my work husband, I’m going to quit,” Ryan threatens and Shane lets out an unexpected laugh, knowing how much they both hate buzzwords like that.

“Please don’t.”

The silence hangs between them for a moment before Ryan finally asks, “Don’t call you that, or don’t quit?”

“Either,” Shane admits. “Both.”

There’s another long silence before Ryan finally says, “I’m not gonna grow bored of you.”

“I didn’t think you would,” Shane replies with a frown.

“So you just avoided me for other, completely rational reasons?”

That shuts Shane up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ryan asks, though Shane knows they both already know the answer to that.

“No,” he says, just to clarify.

“Do you want to try using your words like an adult?”

Shane hates that Ryan’s actually in-tune with his feelings. He sighs and shrugs loosely. “There’s more at stake. If we fight — ”

“If we fight, we’ll talk it out like friends and business partners. Or would you prefer we have blowout arguments that ruin both our friendship and our business?”

Shane sighs again, because he knows Ryan is right. Ryan raises his eyebrows like he knows Shane knows he’s right.

“I’m sorry,” Shane apologizes, and realizes after he says it that he actually means it. He’s hated not spending extra time with Ryan, but he’s hated the fear of accidentally losing Ryan even more.

Ryan’s shoulders drop like he’s finally relaxing and he smiles, the blinding smile that he always has for Shane, no matter his mood.

“I wish we’d talked about this sooner,” he admits, “but I could never get you alone.”

Shane rubs the back of his neck and nods. “Yeah, that took some effort. I’m not proud.”

Ryan shakes his head, like he can’t believe the lengths Shane goes to, but he’s still smiling, which gives Shane hope that he hasn’t fucked everything up completely.

“Will you grab dinner with me after work next week?” Ryan asks gently.

There’s a familiar clench in Shane’s stomach — instinctive at this point from trying so hard to avoid everything — but he takes a breath and nods before he can give himself time to back out.

“Yeah,” he says. “We can do that.”

Somehow, Ryan’s smile brightens even more.

“C’mon,” he says, “let’s go back inside before anyone misses us.”

He tugs on Shane’s sleeve, but he doesn’t have to tug hard. Shane follows him willingly.