#[ yeah come to think of it YOU'RE HONESTLY THE ONLY CANON CHARA I CAN RECALL THAT CONSISTENTLY USES YOUR MODERN VERSE ]

[unladielike]

    Though him assuming she was a lesbian happened to be rather predictable, she'll still proceed to make a face, for he had made such a laughably incorrect assessment about her without seemingly any sense or thought, it made her want to immediately ask if he could stop breathing; instead, she'll take in a deep, heavy breath while thinking to herself, 'Oh, lord, please give me the strength and patience I need to endure this insufferable fool.'

    Either way, it doesn't take long for her to initiate yet another buzzing noise one would hear from a game-show, indicating he wasn't nearly as right on the money as he thought he was. "Bzzzt! ...Aaaaand wrong again! Unfortunately, sir contestant, you won't be receiving the first place prize this time around." Sure enough, Vivian then proceeds to shake her head, but rather than clarify she was actually pansexual, she decided to save her breath; after all, Nnoitra was now suddenly the last person she wanted to come out to.

    "In all seriousness, though, you are aware that's a very monosexist way of thinking, right? Like, have you ever asked yourself why you would immediately resort to concluding someone is homosexual or straight purely based on the last person they had sex with? Especially when the concept of bisexuality, pansexuality, and asexuality also happens to exist?" came her flat, deadpan queries. ...Then again, given how ignorant and callous he was, something told her Nnoitra was far too stupid to even fathom how someone asexual could even want to willingly have sex with someone. Why, knowing him, he probably had no idea some aces could be sex neutral or even sex favourable thanks to him probably thinking all of them were unrelateable prudes.

    "Welp, think of it this way, bucko. If you went down a water slide, would you rather the slide be wet, making your descent into the pool much more comfortable, or dry, to the point where you'll have a somewhat rougher, slow slide with significantly less speed and momentum compared to the wet one and quite possibly injure yourself in the process?" Vivian finally questions.

    "It's exactly the same thing with PIV sex; in fact, theoretically speaking, sex involving a cisgender man and a cisgender woman only works if the coochie itself is well lubricated. I mean, yeah, you don't necessarily have to eat her out, or god forbid, make her cum, before you slip Nnoitra Junior through it, but if you don't at least use lube, I can guarantee you would be in for a very bad time... and that is, of course, assuming you're lucky enough she doesn't start immediately screaming, 'Ow!', and pushing you off her once you do actually get it inside," she goes on to explain while ensuring she speaks in such a slow, patronizing manner, it was like she was speaking to someone who was 5 years old instead of 25.

    Then again, Vivian doesn't quite expect someone as obtuse as Nnoitra to actually take her advice into much needed consideration; after all, he honestly struck her as someone who whose masculinity was so toxic, he probably believed the very act of pleasuring a woman itself was gay. Meanwhile, she never had sex with a man, yet despite this, even she still knew penetration would be painful without any foreplay.

If he mentioned his dick-size around women, there was one reaction that he got more often than others, and that was exactly the one he was getting now. He called it the "feminist" reaction. Women really thought that a guy's dick was made to pleasure women. Which was fucking hilarious. Who the fuck cared about that? He had never understood the guys who said they felt satisfied by pleasing their woman. WHY would that be satisfactory? To Nnoitra, it was borderline demeaning. If the woman he was with happened to have a good time - then yeah, that wasn't a negative thing. But he wasn't going to go out of his way to make her enjoy it. Of course, he wasn't going to go as far as to not have her consent - the fucking LAST thing he needed was an allegation of sexual assault. That would land his ass in jail faster than you could say "fuck". But, he didn't care if the woman didn't get any actual pleasure from the sex. And making her orgasm? That meant nothing to him. Not to mention how much actual work that took. Foreplay, for one, which Nnoitra was usually too impatient to enjoy. Oh, and then most women couldn't even orgasm from penetration only, so he'd have to touch them. Nah. How the hell was he supposed to focus on his OWN pleasure then? That, to Nnoitra, was the whole point of having sex. He was doing it to cum - that's it.

He was pretty surprised to learn she was a lesbian. Just because she had called herself a Christian. Most believers wouldn't be so open about admitting their sexuality, since it was their one-way ticket to hell. He had nothing against lesbians, but of course, he was less interested in a woman if he knew there was 0 chance he could fuck her.

❝ Oh, ya a lesbian? My bad. ❞ No wonder she had such a negative view on dicks then. Because off she went, on a rant on how a dick that couldn't make a woman orgasm was useless. Nnoitra just chuckled. What a stupid bitch. Mah - she was right about him being single. From the sounds of it, she didn't think he had much chance of dating a woman. She might be right about that. He should probably find himself a guy to date.

❝ Why would I give a shit if she gets off? I'm fuckin' her 'ta cum. It's the woman's job 'ta please the man, but I don't expect nothin' from her. She can just lay there 'n I can do the work. I don't need her help 'ta cum. ❞ Yeah, he very much disliked it when women tried to participate much in sex. With guys... It was very different. They were not supposed to be submissive like women.