#[ i'm bringing back his Sugar////Daddy verse.

[tenebriism]

Imagine you get contracted to be someone's Sugar Baby and it ends up being KaibaCorp CEO and Billionaire Seto effin' Kaiba.

[redfurrycat]

@nixie-deangel you're killing me 👀🥰 (also kissing your beautiful magnificent brain.)

Bradley’s mom was a serial killer. Goose, the unfortunate witness who awkwardly asks her out after she's done. (Bradley’s not freaking out about Jake. Or he's freaking out that he is NOT freaking out. He's actually super chill.)

Pillow Princess Bradley is half vampire (The Bradshaw Curse). Jake kills. Bradley sucks the blood out of their bodies.

Serial Killer Jake upping his sugar daddy tendencies and takes his pillow princess to the opera for a Count Dracula showing. (YES PRETTY WOMAN. PICTURE BRADLEY IN A FULL RED SUIT.)

Date gone wrong. They went to a Cluedo Party, you know where you go to a real mansion, play a character, search for clues to find the killer? [That's a real dorky date for them.] Bradley was playing the killer character the whole time, but that messed Jake up?

They made love on the piano of the mansion. (I can't help it okay?)

Someone tried to touch Bradley and it's the last thing they did.

These two ran a parallel game in which Jake hid gifts for Bradley all over the mansion? [He's the Mansion owner, surprise reveal?!]

Callie also wrote a novel about them. She started as soon as she met Bradley.

just got a unhinged Hangster idea where Jake comes from a RICH family and who moonlights as a contract killer and is a serial killer, who meets completely ordinary Bradley, who is just absolutely drowning in debt, most from his mom's medical care and his university school and is working three jobs and just barely managing to scrape by and doesn't question this rich goes sudden interest in him.

nor does Bradly care when Jake starts insisting on buying him things, or paying for things because he's just so tried and lonely and just desperately wants someone to take care of him.

and who better to do that then a hot unhinged man, who seems to have money he wants to spend and just wants to make him happy?

just. Pillow princess pampered Bradley (it's what he deserves!!!) and service top Jake, who's covered in blood and blushing so pretty as Bradley breathily tells him how good he is, while he rails Bradley within an inch of his life.

I just have a mighty need y'all.

[nolita-fairytale]

Carmy as Your Baby Daddy | Social Media AU & Headcanon Series | part one

masterlist | part two now that i've finished my top gun: maverick series, it's me i'm back and gearing up for season two. after a bout of food poisoning, i finally cracked and am writing this pregnancy headcanon that i said i wouldn't bc my ovaries would explode (looking at you @allthefandomstogether). anyways, a huge thank you to @carmensberzattos who pinged many an ideas back and forth about carmy as your baby daddy and screamed into the abyss about this on a friday night. i'm writing this with my main character from the make your heart surrender-verse, but can absolutely read as a standalone piece. posting now because i'm so damn excited but i may go back and add some more things later.

oh and this a headcanon series now so. that part.

carmy as your baby daddy:

sometime after the wedding, you and carmy decide that you're ready to start a family. you're not trying but you're not not trying, meaning you've gone off of birth control but you're not carefully monitoring your ovulation cycle either. you both figure that it'll happen when it happens and if it doesn't, there are many other ways to make a family.

carmy never really thought about having kids until the two of you got together. after adopting your kitty together, carmy got to see a your more nurturing side and taking care of something together as a team made him think about how much he wants a family with you. after sugar has her baby it really ups the ante. seeing carmy become an uncle is what starts the conversation about seriously starting a family, and every time carmy sees you holding the baby, it's 'when our kids this, and when our kids that' for days after.

you swear it's food poisoning. after a somewhat questionable late night meal, you spend half the night vomiting while carmy works a later night at the restaurant. you text him to bring ginger ale and tums home. of course he comes through because are you kidding this man is a caretaker?!

you insist that you're fine and much better, even though you're absolutely exhausted. things are so busy at work for you (and have i mentioned the pregnancy fatigue) that you don't think much of it when a few nights later, you find yourself kneeling on the bathroom floor once again.

there are always little kids running around at the extended family gatherings and which led to your realization (when you first met everyone) that carmy is surprisingly good with kids.

it's not till a week or two later (after your little bout of 'food poisoning') that you're at cicero's place for a family birthday party that it hits you. one of carmy's cousins (not richie kind of cousin teehee) has just had a new baby with his wife. you've been catching up with ava, richie's daughter because you've become an auntie of sorts to her. you find some time to steal away for a some girl-time but when you return, carmy is holding his new niece/nephew in his arms.

the sight of him holding the baby not only takes your goddamn breath away as he stares long and hard your way, his blue eyes piercing right through your heart, but it's then that you realize that you're a few weeks late. it's like time stops as you look at him, seeing him coo at the baby with the softest look on his face. the realization hits you, clear as day.

"holy shit." is all you say, earning a few funny looks from the berzatto extended family and friends. "carm, can i borrow you for a second?" you and carmy find a quiet place to talk inside. "you okay, babe?" "carmy i think i'm-. what if i-. i'm late." "what do you-? like.. late late?" "now that i think about it, a few weeks late, honey." "yeah?" he asks you, totally in shock and eyes wide. "yeah."

the two of you make an excuse to leave the party as soon as possible, and hurry to the nearest drugstore to pick up a pregnancy test. you wait till you're home to take it. "do you want me to come in, sweetheart?" "no, carmy! i don't want you to watch me pee, you weirdo!" you answer, even though you know he's just excited.

the two of you are pacing back and forth, practically making dents in the floor with your footsteps for what feels like the longest two minutes of your lives. when your timer goes off, you're both simultaneously freaking out about the fact that you're lives are about to change forever, while also really, really hoping for a positive result. and as the fates would have it, the test is positive.

"holy shit. holy fucking shit. we're- you're-, we're gonna-!" carmy is ecstatic as searches for words. "we're having a baby, baby!" you squeal jumping into his arms." "god, i love you so much," he says, grinning at you as wrap your legs around his waist. "i love you too, carm. so, so much."

you literally get the biggest kick out of calling him your baby daddy: to friends and family, coworkers, random strangers, in restaurants, at the gas station. you'll take photos of him at the farmers market and post on your ig story referring to him as your baby daddy because you find it hilarious. carmy doesn't find it as funny (even though he secretly loves it) and he's cherry-tomato red when you tell the checkout clerk at the bodega across the street from your place that your baby daddy is going to pick up the tab.

everyone at the restaurant is so excited for you! even richie cries a little when you tell him the news. you hadn't really gotten close to richie until ava grew super attached to you, which opened up a whole new avenue and understanding for your friendship with richie.

ever since you found out you were pregnant, carmy always has bread and ginger ale on hand for your morning sickness. he started making you your favorite soft scrambled eggs with toast, but the chives have been way too strong of a flavor for a sensitive tummy. it's slowly become eggs & toast and then just... toast, which you promptly apologize for stripping away any kind of artistic freedom he may have previously had.

you get near compulsive cravings for certain foods, and carmy is always ready to throw on a jacket and run across the street when you get midnight cravings.

carmy hates seeing how tumultuous pregnancy has been during your first trimester. he's always ready with a hair tie or a glass of water for when you're done throwing up. okay hear me out: but carmy starting to wear hair ties because he wants to always have one ready for you. he'll even take off a morning with you or call your workplace if you need a sick day just so that he can take care of you. even if you don't need care, he just wants to spend time with you and be there for you while you go through it.

we already know that carmy is an acts of service king. he is the tenderest, most gentle partner and wants to be as helpful as possible. if you're sick, he wants to make you feel better. if the pregnancy hormones are raging against the machine, he's more than happy to let you be upset, or get you off by any means if the hormones go that way too. he'll sit on the bathroom floor with you and rub your back until you need to vomit again. he'll give you the best morning head of your life. he'll run a bath for you when you need one. he checks in every hour on the hour in your first trimester, which you appreciate, but eventually have to ask him to chill the fuck out.

speaking of physical changes, the pregnancy boobs are ELITE. carmy is always there to make you feel beautiful despite your rapidly changing body, esp when your clothes start fitting differently.

the first time your bump starts showing and you point it out to him, carmy cries. or maybe he notices it first and he's just like... weeping and you're like: babe r u ok? and then you realize that you're showing and carmy is kneeling and admiring your baby bump and now you're crying. sorry, but i don't make the rules it's just a fact that this is how it would go down.

carmy is so emotional about this because he realizes that he finally gets to build the family he didn't have and he gets to build it with you.

well this just hijacked my writing plans oops. part two will be more 'you & carmy pregnancy things' and part three will be birth & post-birth.

tagging my carmy taglist in the comments below!

[metalbvcky]

METALVCKY 2024 STUCKY MASTERLIST

Another year, more cake!!! I'm unstoppable 🥳 Last year, I finished Aster and began brainstorming/outlining No Cure For Love, but I also managed to slip a few oneshots in between as usual.

This year, 2025, I'll be focusing on No Cure for Love, a secret MTH fic, and very possibly the overdue Bloom!Verse wedding fic (the muse is currently making lots of noise for that one...). I also want to continue/finish Daddy's Himbo whenever that muse returns. So all in all, plenty of multi-chapters to go around!

Shelves of Aster - E - 126,517 (26/26) - Modern AU (Bloom!Verse), Bookstore AU, Sugar Daddy, Age Difference, Meet-Cute, Falling In Love, Top/Dom Steve, Bottom/Sub Bucky

A career in design has given Steve wealth and friends, but no partner. StarkTech rules the appliance industry, and the latest device has kept Steve from the dating world. Steve wishes he had time to jump back into the scene, find a new sub or a sugar baby, maybe someone to spoil.

Running into a store minutes before closing would soon show Steve what he’s been missing.

Bucky's life has had its ups and downs. His asshole ex threw him away shortly after moving to Brooklyn, which left him without a place to live. The owner of a local bookstore, the same woman he befriended while studying for finals, had been kind enough to ‘adopt’ him on that dreadful night.

Between freelance writing and a part-time job, Bucky doesn’t know when he’ll get laid. He wants a boyfriend. Romantic dinners, movie night cuddle sessions, and sexual experiences he’s only dreamed about.

What's the chance they're both kinky?

A Daddy's Himbo - E - 8,761 (2/? TBC) - Modern AU, Exes to Lovers, BDSM, Dom/sub, Getting Back Together, Sub Steve, Dom Bucky

It’s been well over a decade since Bucky moved to the west coast in search of different opportunities. He left his old life in New York behind, and even though starting from scratch sucks balls, he made it work. The leather and kink community opened their arms to him and he was reborn.

Then years later, he's offered to help out an established kink festival. The problem? It's on the other coast. But he's a professional dom, and he's not one to betray the community that got him here today.

What he hadn't expected, however, was running into an ex on the day of preparations.

His old sub.

A Bed Cluttered with Rosebuds - E - 4,785 (1/1) - Modern AU (Bloom!Verse), Established Relationship, Domestic, Dom/sub, Top/Dom Steve, Bottom/Sub Bucky

Steve slams the driver seat door closed with an overdue sigh. Work was mentally draining today. Hours of countless, boring meetings. Far too many, far too long away from the sweet boy he comes home to. His sweetheart, his baby, his Bucky.

Like a good boyfriend, Steve brings pizza and wine for the two of them to share. While lounging in bed. Because lazy evenings are best spent with a loving partner.

The night doesn't end there.

“Tell me, Kitten,” Steve says, resuming to stroke Bucky’s hip, down his thighs. “How would you feel about strong, teasing patterns? If Sir fucked your pretty face at the same time?”

“Please,” Bucky outright begs. The needy sound has Steve’s briefs tightening, arousal increasing from the eroticness. “Please, Sir. Want everything. Your cock. The toy. Need it so bad.”

Steve chuckles darkly. He has the best sub in the world.

Tonight We Ride - E - 2,058 (1/1) - Canon, Established Relationship, Smut, Couch Sex, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Top Steve, Bottom Bucky

Bucky might be a drama queen when it comes to sex with Steve.

It's no secret, okay? When your best friend of several decades goes from a super skinny twink to a Greek god of sex appeal, well, don't blame Bucky for drooling and ogling.                                                            “These,” Steve grunts, palms tugging at the lightweight fabric encasing Bucky’s thick upper thighs, “need to come off. Now.”

The shorts (short shorts) are removed in a desperate haste. Bucky barely has time to get them off his ankles and onto the floor before Steve pulls him closer, all the way down until Bucky’s freed cock brushes against soft fleece. His mind is still stuck in the gutter when two flat pads circle the surrounding area of his rim, dry skin against skin. There’s a groan, and then the pornographic sight of Steve sliding his fingers over his tongue, twice.

“Oh god, Steve.”

I Think We're a Pizzeria Now (There Doesn't Seem to be Any Marinara Around) - M - 7,526 (1/1) - Shrunkyclunks, Mob AU, Post 2012 Avengers, Opposites Attract, Drunk Steve, Mob Boss Bucky

All right look. Steve only wanted a pizza. The building seemed decent enough, and Steve's drunken state of mind assumed the pizzeria sign meant local freshly made pies. He stumbled inside and took a seat in a booth, too drunk to notice the absent aroma of baked bread, tomatoes, and mozzarella.

The staff in the back seemed to be taking an awfully long time, but Steve could wait. He looked over the decor to pass the time, while pot and pans and an occasional scream blended in the background. At some point he dozed off. Then his hunger became more apparent, and a redhead woman shoved a couple of small cakes into his hand and told him to eat.

Later, Steve would learn the establishment was not a restaurant. But the headquarters of a mafia group.

And the mafia boss was not happy to see Captain America in his domain.

Or was he?

The Lost Footage - E - 2,035 (1/1) - Pornstar AU, Established Relationship, Daddy Kink, Light Dom/sub, PWP, Top Steve, Bottom Bucky

“I watched a video of you,” Bucky blurts, unable to stop his tongue.

Steve leans back, face twisted in confusion. “What?”

“The— The bondage video. I didn’t know it existed until Clint texted me and I couldn’t not look because the link was there and—”

“Baby boy,” Steve coos, voice deepening. “Did you get off to Daddy being fucked?”

The evidence in his shorts turns Bucky on harder.

“You were so hot, Daddy,” Bucky says, cheeks dusted with arousal.

Winter's Indulgent Sugary Sweets - T - 10,403 (1/1) - Shrunkyclunks, Bakery AU, Baking, Baker Bucky, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Christmas Fluff, Meet-Cute

Two weeks before Christmas, Bucky, somehow or someway, becomes the sole baker for the Avengers.

Bucky gladly accepts the order, of course, but he never thought it would lead to hours upon hours of time-consuming work. Cookies are now the bane of Bucky's existence.

There is one nice thing... Captain America. In his bakery. Broad shoulders and all.

God, Bucky could lick the sugar off of his lips.

-----

TUMBLR FICLETS

A Snowy Getaway (Steve/Bucky/Natasha) - T - 481 (1/1) - Ficlet, Moodboard, Cabin Fic, Snowed In, Crack, Fluff, Team Bonding, Fourth Wheel Clint

There's No Cure For Love (snippet) - T - 256 (1/1) - Ficlet/Summary, Moodboard, Medical AU, Doctor Steve, Patient Bucky

The Wedding of Rogers-Barnes - T - 83 (1/1) - Modern AU (Bloom!Verse), Ficlet/Summary, Moodboard, Fluff, Weddings, Romance

[90shiphopjunkieee]

MF DOOM- VOMITSPIT 🧪🎵

Verse

It's the beat (DOOM), he hear it in his sleep sometimes

Blare it in your jeep so your peoples can stare at them rhymes

Real rhymes not your everyday hologram

Even when ribs was touchin', never swallowed the ham

He'd rather eat a sand sandwich salad

It might need salt like your man's bland ballad

A lot of stuff happens that the news won't tell you's

Blues on L juice, snooze, all hell loose

Rake it, take it like the Good, the Bad, the Ugly

Break it, rollin' through your hood in the caddy buggy

Butter softy, leather flossy, fatty juggy

Always threw me off when she told me, "Daddy, funk me"

I'm like, "Anywho's"

Seeds walkin' all out in the street without any shoes

I guess it's better than some funky socks

You need to get her some skips before she catch the monkey pox (Hahahahaha)

Instead she wanna hear the beatbox

Take pills and make fake krills as sheetrock

Sing it, bring it back to your laboratory

While he's in his oratory, glory, it's like a horror story

The mask is like Jason

They told the place not to let the basket type case in

He could be some kind of wacko

Waitin' for the chance to heat the pipes like a crack ho

He busted in, blessed be the Lord

Who believe any mess they read up on a message board

If so, I got bridges for the low low

Same bitch a-go dry snitchin' to the popo

Here, orange peel stogs for the whole tier

Feel like I've been gone over a year, came home to old gear

It was the shit when I first scooped it

At least I get to sit out in New York and curse stupid

Plead the fifth, sip wine stiffly

Patiently come up and be spiffy in a jiffy

Gift for the grind, criminal mind shifty

Swift with the nine through a 59FIFTY

Well edumacated, he heard it when he meditated in deep theta

Let her hate, the creep played her

Dedicated cheap skata who keeps data

Say he stay self medicated to sleep later

Side effects is similar to sugar pill

Whoever go next on the mic he put a booger, ill

And made his exit on some calm shit

Begged him on the regular for kegs of more vomitspit

("DOOM!")

[deniigi]

I had a really bad day (I wont say why because I wouldnt want you to feel like I'm guilting you into anything) and I was wondering if maybe you had a dfv/lfv or inimitable verse drabble you havent put up or one on here you really like you could point me to (navigation is hard on mobile) or even just some like hcs. If not its totally ok! You dont owe me anything. But I thought I'd ask and see if that's ok.

Oh no!

Sorry that you had a rough day my dear. I don’t have much in the works for those verses right now (I’ve been hammering my head against a wall, trying to write out a piece exploring Gwen and Murderdock’s relationship–it’s not working tho, so I’m stopping). Of course any of the Clint-based pieces are fun in those verses if you need a pick me up, but I am equally fond of Chapter 13 of Sidebars.

But! If you don’t mind a little piece from Lying by Omission/The Sprawl I’ve got cute little bit of Jack and Ben going out to dinner with Matt and Peter?

I’ll put it under the cut if you’re down

—-

“Dad, let’s go out to eat.”

Jack didn’t trust that. Jack had been scarred by the durian. Permanently scarred. He was never coming back from the durian. He was etching a durian with a big ‘X’ through it into the top of his next coffin for future archaeologists to find and have absolutely no questions about.

Matt, sensing that he was presently not receiving the amount of attention that he could be receiving, oozed out of the kitchen and draped himself over the back of the couch, right behind Jack’s shoulders. Jack glanced to the side and noted that he was wearing shoes.

He wasn’t chancing it.

“No shoes on the couch,” he said.

“It’s my couch,” Matt hummed, already migrating over to the couch’s arm, no doubt to burrow his way under Jack’s own arm.

“It’s a couch.”

“My couch,” Matt hummed, plucking Jack’s phone out of his hand and tossing it callously to the other side of said couch. He then executed the burrow and wriggled himself over so that he was the sole occupant of Jack’s lap. He waited, as sweet as could be, until he had Jack’s more or less undivided attention.

The kid was heavy. Jack couldn’t tell if he knew just how heavy he was.

He suspected that he was more than aware of it.

Matt beamed at him. He did not pull his shoed feet over the couch’s arm.

A sign of obedience. Or perhaps a buttering-up technique.

Tricky, tricky.

“Why do we need to go out to eat? What’s wrong with what’s in the fridge?” Jack asked Matt’s untrustworthy grin.

It faded a little because there was a pout which needed doing.

“I’m tired of eating potatoes,” Matt huffed.

“Take it back,” Jack scolded him. “I won’t hear any raggin’ on tatties in this household.”

“I want rice.”

“I’ll make you rice, Matty.”

“I don’t want your rice.”

Picky little shit. Just like his mother. She’d been the type to refuse a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if the slop wasn’t equally distributed.

Jack’s rice was perfectly fine. It even had bits of onion in it. If he was feeling real fancy, he might even cook it in broth or something.

“Fine, so make rice yourself,” he said. Matt squirmed up and wrapped arms around Jack’s neck. He put his cheek against it and immediately made the skin there it itch.

“You need a shave,” Jack huffed, reaching back for his phone. Vanessa was doing battle with her replacement: Bella the cat. She was giving their zombie group the play by play of the her and the cat’s opposing campaigns to win Wade’s favor. Thus far, Bella had broken a plate and gotten scratchies and kisses for it. Vanessa was outraged.

It was an outrage to behold.

“Daddy.”

Not this again. This was no reason to bring out the big guns.

“Get your shoes,” Matt whined.

“Baby, you can go out. I’m not stopping you from going out. No one is stopping you from going out, god help us,” Jack told him.

Matt abandoned his neck, stretched out, quick as a whip, and snatched the phone on the other cushion. He crammed it into his shirt and then replaced himself and his face-broom against Jack’s pulse point.

Yeah.

Yeah, Jack didn’t know what he’d expected to happen here.

“Matt,” he warned.

“Dinner.”

“The last time we went to dinner, you broke my heart, soul, and trust.”

“I won’t do it again.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, right. ”

“I won’t,” Matt promised, pulling back to add puppy eyes to the mix.

That was unfair. Uncalled for. Totally underhanded.

“Why don’t you go out with Foggy?” Jack tried as a last-ditch effort.

“Because I want to go out with you,” Matt emphasized. “My pops. My old man. We gotta bond. It’ll make me more well-adjusted. The internet says so.”

Jack was confiscating the internet. The internet was a know-it-all snitch.

“DAD.”

“Fine, for fuck’s sake, boy. Get off, you’re drowning me here.”

  Jack would go out to dinner on one condition.

Two conditions actually.

1)      There was to be no durian. Anywhere. At all.

2)      He got to bring moral support.

Matt was more than cool with that because it meant that he could replace the durian with another creative element which would equally torture Jack.

So Jack asked Ben Parker to come along. Parker was sharp as a tack. Compared to Jack, he was a man of the world. A reasonable and sensitive body with respect for his fellow humans. He promised to help Jack identify potential threats to his person flung his way by his uncaring and mischievous son.

Unfortunately, to that end, Matt insisted that they take Ben’s nephew, Peter, out with them too.

Jack knew from the start that this was Matt inserting his chaos element into what might otherwise be a perfectly tolerable and uneventful night out. But he also held out hope that Peter would be the sweet, kind-hearted boy he appeared to be.

It really was too much to ask for.

Peter latched his whole body onto Matt within seconds of their two parties meeting up and the two of them immediately set to whispering which bode poorly for everyone else involved.

“I believe we may have made a mistake,” Ben observed, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin.

  Matt wanted rice and Peter wanted something sour enough to leave ulcers in his mouth, so the two of them decided that Thai food would achieve both of these effects. Jack was suspicious. Ben told him that Thai food was very tasty and he had little reason to fear, except.

Except.

“Peter hates durian, it’s fine, he won’t be setting up any conspiracies around it,” Ben promised him.

Mm.

They’d see about that.

Foggy had said something similar when he and Matt had dragged Jack out for Filipino food.

  Jack was pretty sure that Peter just wanted a lime. He was 90% sure that all Peter’s cravings could be satisfied with a lime right now.

Matt, however, in an unlikely turn of events, convinced him that he should get food-substances to accompany his burning desire for limes. Peter grumbled at this and deferred to his uncle for support in the face of this logic.

Chaos element, located.

“Pick a carb,” Ben directed.

“Sugar is a carb,” Peter argued.

“Pick a carb in a less refined form,” Ben countered easily.

“If it’s raw sugar, it—”

“Veg, noodles, or rice,” Ben offered him.

Peter scowled.

“You said a carb,” he pouted. “I want sugar.”

“I have good news for you, sweet child of mine,” Ben said fondly. “There is sugar in everything served in the United States of America. You will have your sugar. Pick its structure: veg, noodles, or rice.”

Ben made Jack feel like a shit dad sometimes. Although, to be fair, Jack hadn’t been a dad as long as Ben had.

Peter, outwitted and bitter about it, agitated Matt to help him.

Matt saw no need for that.

“You’re gonna be hungry in an hour and then you’re gonna whine about it,” he declared.

Peter scowled at him and then turned his lethal puppy eyes onto Jack. Jack set up a menu between the two of them because he was not strong enough to cope with that.

Peter whined behind it.

  Things were going too smoothly for too long. Jack did not trust the decent behavior happening at this table. Ben got a kick out of his paranoia, which was great because someone needed to.

“What are you hiding?” Jack asked Matt. Matt scoffed.

“Chill, old man,” he said. “We’re literally just having dinner. Maybe try to have a good time, huh?”

No.

Something evil was afoot.

Peter snickered. Matt swatted at him; he easily dodged the hand.

Trouble.

  Dinner was eaten and paid for and Jack eventually gave up and settled down. Begrudgingly, he had to admit that Matt was right. Thai food was nice. No incidents had occurred. There was no durian. Ben and Peter made for good conversation, even if everything led back to Peter’s obsession with sci-fi films.

Ben told him that if he kept mentioning them, the aliens would hear him and his name would start to move up higher up on their list of potential captures.

The kid was horrified.

Matt helpfully started counting off the number of times Peter had mentioned aliens in the last week and Peter had briefly looked like he was going to cry.

“Is your wife not going to hear of this?” Jack asked Ben as they walked after the trouble duo who had determined that they were finding dessert at a different location. They seemed to know what they were after, so Jack and Ben left them to it.

“Oh, she will,” Ben said.

“And you don’t mind?”

“She encourages it. She’s convinced him that if you leave a tv on static, aliens can pick up on your watch history.”

Interesting parenting techniques going on here.

Ben laughed.

“Well, I guess we just figure that if you’ve got a weird kid, it’s easier on everyone if you just lean into it. My brother probably wouldn’t be so down with it, but he’s not here, so whatever.”

Ah, right.

“Peter’s your brother’s son, then,” Jack noted.

Ben hummed.

“I…guess,” he said uneasily. “I—it’s hard to explain. I mean, biologically, yeah he’s Rich’s son. But, you know, me and May’ve raised him for longer than Rich and Mary were ever in his life, so, I dunno. Is it fucked up that I kind of think of him as my son?”

No. Not at all.

“My eldest brother pretty much raised me,” Jack told him. “My mama couldn’t be assed to do anything more than scream at the drop of a hat and my daddy was busy drinking himself to death, so Bill was the one who got me up and dressed and off to school in the morning. I always thought of him as a mix between a brother and a mom.”

“No shit?” Ben said. “Where is he? He still around?”

Uuuuuuuh.

“We haven’t talked for a long time,” Jack said.

“Oh? Well, now’s your chance you know.”

Jack tried not to wince too sharply. Ben caught it anyways.

“Or not,” he said. “You don’t have to if its painful or something.”

Oh, buddy.

“We’ll see,” Jack decided. “I’ll need to think about it.”

He didn’t know how Matt would react. Hell, he didn’t know how he would react to seeing Bill again.

  Matt and Peter presented Jack with a drink that had evil hiding in the bottom of it.

He should have known better to think he’d escape that night uninjured.

–

I hope this cheers you up my dear and that things get easier for you soon!

[nixie-deangel]

@redfurrycat 👀👀 Okay, yes!

First:

So Jake goes to Phoenix and Coyote, who he sort of but really doesn't work with on occasion and laments to her about his struggles to Bradley (only doing so because he figures if she just laughs in his face, he can make himself feeling better by killing her) and Javy's been his best friend since they were literally in diapers, so he knows Javy will give him helpful suggestions, but Nat snorts once and then tells him she knows someone who can help him out and introduces him to her wife Callie, who finds Jake fascinating but is willing to help -after getting over the shock of her wife being sort of friends with a serial killer, which is a struggle but they work through.

(no one in this universe is normal or healthy, except maybe Mav and Ice to a degree)

But Callie agrees to take Bradley on as a client and help him work through a lot of his trauma and issues. And it's definitely an uphill battle but eventually Bradley does get mentally healthier, which makes him happier, which makes Jake happier!

(the shock comes with Bradley asking Callie how does he tell Jake that he knows the man makes his money in killing people, without spooking him?? Callie lets out the worlds biggest sigh, downs two fingers of whisky and then suggests maybe just being blunt about it or you can jokingly make him a cake that says you know and have a knife driven through the center of it.

Jake absolutely nearly pisses himself laughing when Bradley gives him the cake and the note explaining he's known since nearly the beginning of their relationship when he sort of followed Jake on a job he had in SD (the last one he took in their city) and had his freak out and acceptance of who Jake is already.)

Secondly:

It's been years, more than a decade since Ice and Mav have seen Bradley - they tried keeping tabs on him but because Bradley had to bounce between rented rooms, sleeping in the bronco and constantly had to move apartments because of rent issues, and he couldn't keep a cellphone plan and had to resort to prepaids, it was hard to do so.

But it's been such a long time and they aren't even sure it's their Bradley at first, because the young man seated across from them in the five star restaurant, sort of looks like their godson but he's draped in silks and gold and with the biggest smile on his face as he sits opposite a man they can't actually see.

They debate between themselves if they should go over and say something but before they can, Bradley and his mystery man are getting up and giggling, so they softly shoving at one another as they amble out of the restaurant and they lose their chance again because before Mav can even make it out of the building, Bradley's being helped into a really expensive car and as soon as he's at the door the stranger is passing the valet something and climbing in and speeding off.

They regret missing their moment but seem to take some comfort with Bradley looking happy and healthy....even if they do seem to get under the impression that maybe Bradley is an escort..

Third:

Brisket!

Bradley has learned over the weeks, months, of them being together that Jake far more favors Bradley's touch, love, smiles and laughter, over physical gifts because Jake once told him that Bradley just being near him, loving him, touching him, letting Jake do the same to him, is enough for him. Which Bradley loves but also hates because he wants to give Jake what Jake gives to him!

But they're coming up on their 1 year anniversary and Bradley desperately wants to give Jake something meaningful to him, to give back to Jake, what he's been given over the past year.

It's a struggle to come up with something, to find something! And it's on midnight walk -Jake's out of town on a job and Bradley struggles to sleep not wrapped up in his arms or wrapped around him- when he stumbles across, quite literally, a box with a puppy in it. He sort of panic picks them up and brings them home and cleans them up and panic looks up what to feed them and then just keeps panicking until the morning and he can get the little puppy to the vet.

(thankfully nothing is really wrong with the puppy, so they only have to stay at the vets for 2 or 3 days, before Bradley can officially come back and adopt them and bring them home)

and it's on the way home, that Bradley panics again because oh shit! he's adopted a dog without telling Jake and then panics again because the puppy still has no name and shit shit shit Jake doesn't know they have a dog now!!!

Which is when he gets the brilliant idea to gift the puppy to Jake as his gift and he just crosses his fingers this doesn't blow up in his face! And to his great surprise Jake absolutely falls in love with the little guy, naming him Brisket because that's what Bradley made for dinner that night!

(Jake absolutely surprises Bradley with his own puppy a few weeks later for his birthday because Bradley is so good with Brisket, so he decides they should totally have another puppy underfoot!

Jake is not so secretly using the dogs as a way to gauge if Bradley would maybe be up for kids one day because Jake literally blue screened when they went back to Texas to visit his family after one of his sister's had a baby and Bradley held it for the first time.

Jake has unbelievable baby fever when it comes to Bradley.)

just got a unhinged Hangster idea where Jake comes from a RICH family and who moonlights as a contract killer and is a serial killer, who meets completely ordinary Bradley, who is just absolutely drowning in debt, most from his mom's medical care and his university school and is working three jobs and just barely managing to scrape by and doesn't question this rich goes sudden interest in him.

nor does Bradly care when Jake starts insisting on buying him things, or paying for things because he's just so tried and lonely and just desperately wants someone to take care of him.

and who better to do that then a hot unhinged man, who seems to have money he wants to spend and just wants to make him happy?

just. Pillow princess pampered Bradley (it's what he deserves!!!) and service top Jake, who's covered in blood and blushing so pretty as Bradley breathily tells him how good he is, while he rails Bradley within an inch of his life.

I just have a mighty need y'all.