#[ go love on eileen so i have things to come back to tomorrow. ]

[eddiesguitarskill2]

What's Wrong With A Cliché?

Eddie Munson x Fem reader

Summary: You had never been to a school dance before. So when you find out about the winter formal, you figure your hellfire friends would be just as excited. What you don't expect is to be mocked, especially by Eddie. Eddie loves to tease you, he never realises when he takes it to far. This was he way of flirting with you, even if you didn't know that. But maybe this time he's gone too far, when he might not be the one to take you to the dance.

Content Warning: use of y/n, a lot of angst, mean Eddie, fluff.

Word count : 5k (wow sorry)

A/n: I am from England so I've never been to a dance, so anything I got wrong I'm sorry. Also I know it says fem reader but feel free to change things when reading so it fits you.

Not prove read

You've never been to a school dance before, so when you hear about the winter formal you were so excited. Despite being part of the “freaks” table you lovedressing up. Even if your group leader always teases you about it, you didn’t mind but sometimes he could go too far without realising, but you always tried to be forgiving and not cause an issue. After all, you were a newer member of the group, well you had joined a few months ago but everyone else had longer on you, even the freshman. You figure this might be the one time Eddie wouldn’t tease you too much, everyone went to the prom even the nerds that’s what happened in the movies. You place your lunch tray on the table excited to talk about the dance. They were all talking about a new Metallica album, so you wait until they are finished to talk about the dance. 

You pick at your food, resting your head on your hand waiting and listening for an opening to speak, but they don’t stop. You could just talk to them about it tomorrow you thought. Everyone laughs at Eddie’s air drum solo, while laughing, Gareth, who is sitting next to you accidentally nudges your elbow, causing you to lose balance and nearly face-plant the food. The noise causes the table to look at you. “Jesus Gareth you nearly made her wear her food, I know she likes fashion but I don’t know if a sloppy joe top counts as high fashion” Eddie jokes like it’s hilarious, you just roll your eyes.

 You expect them to go back to their conversation but now Eddie's eyes are on you he wouldn’t leave you alone. “Why are you so quiet?”. You shrug your shoulders “I was waiting”. Chris looks at you confused “waiting for what?”. Everyone’s eyes bore into you “waiting for you to finish your conversation, I didn’t want to interrupt”. Gareth smiles at you, “you’re never interrupting”. Eddie laughs a little but says nothing much to your surprise. “So what’s up?”. You smile “well..” you suddenly felt a little nervous, so you spoke softly “everyone’s talking about the dance, so I was gonna say we could get a limo or something and all go together or we could go separate if you have dates” you rambled. 

 The table fell silent. You look around. Had you said something wrong? Eddie shot up from his seat and found his way over to you. Holding onto your shoulders he gestures to the group in front of you. “Sweetheart if you wanted the popular table you are very lost”. You turn around as much as you could with his grip still on your shoulders, to face him. “Huh” you were truly lost what did the popular kids have to do with this? It’s not like you wanted to be prom queen. “God I thought you only dressed like them, now you are starting to sound like them”. Eddie put on a ridiculously high voice and let go of your shoulders to put on a show for his sheep. Skipping around the group to mock you, “Gareth don’t you think I have the prettiest dress? Chris, should I wear blue eye shadow or turquoise? Omg Jeff what about my nails, I can’t go to the prom without my nails done. Freshmen will you vote for me to be queen” the boys laugh (even the freshman, but mostly because they want to fit in not because they agree), like this is the most hilarious thing they have ever heard. He finds his way back to his seat “don’t be a cliche y/n”. 

 You felt a lump in your throat and you knew tears were about to pour. You didn’t want them to see you cry so got up from your seat, “see you at hellfire” you say, leaving the cafeteria. Gareth being forever the caring one looks at Eddie, “you took it too far”. He put his hands up “I didn’t force you all to laugh”, the group looked guilty. They thought it was friendly banter they didn’t think you were being serious about the dance. The hellfire club and school activities didn’t go together, so they didn’t know this was different for you. They had never had a girl in the group, they were still learning. 

 Gareth looks at Eddie and then the group “yeah and I shouldn’t have. I can admit when I’m wrong, can you?”. Eddie raises his eyebrow at the boy. No one questioned the dungeon master, so honestly, Eddie was surprised and kind of impressed, not that he would show it. “Watch it” Eddie sternly told the boy. Gareth rolls his eyes at Eddie, well this was new. “If she wants to go, one of us is going to have to take her”. The boys grumble, “shall we draw straws, shortest has to take her?”. Gareth hit his friend in the arm “grow up Jeff, is it such a bad thing to take a pretty girl to a dance? Jesus I’ll take her”. Chris kicks the boy’s leg under the table, he whispers harshly at him “don’t be a creep. You can’t call her pretty” the way he says this, is like it’s some kind of taboo subject. Chris looks to Eddie to back him up, who stays quiet, looking like he is contemplating something. 

 Gareth kicks back “you know just because she’s our friend doesn’t make her any less attractive. Plus I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just saying it’s not the worst thing. I swear to god you’re all like freaky freshmen”.  Dustin and Mike look over to the conversation they had been trying to stay out of “hey!” Gareth looks over to them “no offence”. Eddie suddenly slams his ringed hands on the table, to get control and order back. “Enough! If one of us has to take her it’s gonna be me, that’s the job of the leader to take one for the team, right?” He looks around the table. “But you all owe me.”

 Gareth was right Eddie thought there was nothing wrong with taking a pretty girl to a dance especially if it was you. He didn’t know you actually wanted to go, he was only teasing if you had only asked. He might have grumbled but he would have agreed eventually. He always teased you, and you always took it, never said anything, sometimes your hands would ball into tiny fists and you would have a little pout which Eddie found cute which he wouldn’t admit because finding things cute wasn’t metal. But he didn’t mean to upset you. Maybe asking you would make things right, even if that meant putting his pride on the line. He couldn’t do it straight away, he thought, because then it would seem like he was doing it because he felt bad. 

 You had a free period now, where you were working on a history project with Ross, who sat next to you. All you could think about was Eddie’s impression, did you sound like that? You didn’t realise you were daydreaming until Ross clears his throat, “you okay?”. He was always so kind to you. which made it easy to talk to him, and right now you needed someone who would listen and not judge. Especially if he cares enough to ask if you’re okay. “Is wanting to go to the dance, stupid?”. He wasn’t sure if you were making a joke or not, but from the look on your face, you were serious. “It can’t be that stupid if everyone goes. I think it’s nice” you sigh in relief, you aren’t weird “exactly!” You realise you’re too loud, looking around and apologising. “it’s just I’ve never been to one before and I thought it would be nice”. 

 Ross put his hand on yours trying to calm you “it will be” he smiles. He blushes as your hands touch, he’s had the hugest crush on you since you started school a couple of months ago. He moves his hand realising he’s being too forward, especially since he assumed you have a thing with Eddie. “For some people, it will be. I don’t think it’s gonna happen for me anytime soon.” You start doodling in your notebook, you don’t want to cry again over this so you try and distract yourself. “What?”

 You keep your eyes on the book in front of you, while speaking “well I don’t exactly wanna go alone and I know like 7 people and since none, of those, are gonna ask. I think I’m gonna have to give it a pass”. Ross thought you and Eddie would have gone together, otherwise, he would have at least tried to ask you. Surely Munson wasn’t stupid enough not to ask you, he thought, but he had to Clarify, “not even Munson?”.

 You look up from your notebook laughing as if it was the funniest thing you’d heard all day. It might have been “not even Munson are you kidding? could you imagine him going to a dance? You should have heard him when I mentioned it to everyone. I swear sometimes that boy can be so mean”. You shook your head at the thought of lunch, and focus your eyes back on the paper in front of you. “so you’re not going with him”. You didn’t need to keep being reminded you weren’t going to the dance, you understood he was just showing interest and that he cared. But you were sick of this and especially sick of talking about Eddie. “I am absolutely not going with Edward Munson”.  Ross smiles goofily at you, not that you can see as you are too distracted trying to get the shading right on the eye you were drawing. “Good”. He says You look at him thinking you heard him say something. “I’m sorry about the dance”. You give him a light smile, he was a nice guy, even if he didn’t know when to stop with questions. “it’s fine, shall we get on with this?”. He picks his pen up off the table “sure”. 

 You went to hellfire that night but hardly said a word, the boys tried to apologise, it didn’t feel that sincere but at least they knew to apologise. “We’re sorry,” they say mumbling, “we didn’t know how much it meant”. It was nice that they said sorry but it didn’t make you any less upset especially when Eddie refuses to apologise. What you didn’t know was he was overthinking to the max, how was he supposed to say sorry? Would you believe him? If he started being nice would you realise he fancied you, which meant you could reject him? So with all these thoughts going around his head, he kept quiet. Figuring asking you in a few days would show he was sorry. 

 Two days later, You were starting to put the whole dance thing behind you, well you were trying but it was hard when that was all anyone in school was talking about. Even the boys had started to talk about it to you, which felt like a slap in the face if none of them were going to take you. You had your Walkman on listening to a mixtape Eddie had made you full of his favourite bands Metallica, Dio, Black Sabbath, a few others and your favourite song “come on Eileen”. He told you he did this so you would listen to the tape, at the time you wondered if Eddie liked you as you liked him, but over time you learnt from how he teased you, he saw you strictly platonically, you were just one of the guys. So whatever feeling you thought you had got ignored. 

 Walking up to your locker you notice a flower in the vent, surely this was put in the wrong locker. You get closer and pull it out to inspect it,  looking at the flower confused. You were sure you had never told anyone what your favourite flower was, maybe it was just a coincidence. It was probably a cliché flower that all girls like. That's all you thought were after all. A tap on your shoulder pulls you out of your thoughts. You turn around and see Ross with a huge bouquet of your favourite flowers with a little white teddy nestled in the middle. Other people are watching in the corridor including Eddie and Gareth who are talking at his locker. Upon the sight, Eddie clenches his fist the knuckles going white from the pressure. You smile brightly at Ross, he was a good guy, he must be trying to cheer you up after the other day you thought. 

 “oh my God, those are beautiful. They are actually my favourite” you say with glee. Ross looks at you with admiration “I know that's why I got them” he says while handing them over to you. You can’t help the rosy hue that comes on your cheeks. “ you shouldn't have but also thank you”. You say while hugging him, careful not to crumple the flowers “what are they for though?”. The boy rubs his neck awkwardly, hoping you couldn’t tell how nervous he was “well I guess partly an apology for not asking sooner and for assuming you already had a date” you couldn't understand what was happening. nothing like this had ever happened to you. 

 “Do you wanna go to the winter formal with me?”. You froze, could this be happening? Were all those tears worth it, now you were getting to go the dance. Someone wanted to go to the dance with you, they didn’t have to be forced. So in your head with your thoughts, you didn’t even realise you had left the boy standing there awkwardly waiting for an answer. “It doesn't have to be a date if you don'-“ you cut him off, realising you took too long to reply. “well I hope it’s a date, otherwise you got me all excited for nothing”. You can’t stop smiling at the man in front of you, was he always this handsome and you hadn’t noticed? His eyes widened, he couldn’t believe his luck the girl he liked wanted to go out with him, “So that's a yes”. You nod your head “that's a yes”. He can’t help himself, so he hugs you tight, wanting to kiss you with happiness but knowing that was too forward. “Thank you” he whispers into your ear making you giggle. 

 Eddie had been getting angrier the more he watched the scene in front of him. How dare he touch you, or make you laugh, or buy you flowers. He knew he was torturing himself watching, but he couldn’t look away. Steam might as well have been coming out of Eddie’s ears with how mad he was. However his friend at the side of him had a completely different complexion on his face, he was merry, and he loved seeing his friends happy. “well looks like she didn't need our help after all”. He joked to Eddie, not yet seeing how annoying he was, as he too couldn’t keep his eyes off the scene. Silence, he expected Eddie to make a signature witty remark, or laugh or something, anything but there was nothing. He looked over to his friend who looked as if he was going to beat someone up. He tried to fill the silence. “At least now your Saturday night is all free. Dnd session?”.

 Eddie still couldn’t take his eyes off the sight, now glaring at not just at Ross but you too. Completely ignoring anything his younger friend was saying. Gareth couldn’t understand why he would be so annoyed about this, now he had his evening free. He never wanted to go to the formal. The only reason he would be this annoyed if he fancied… oh it now all made sense to the boy, the constant teasing, wanting to be the one to take her, always wanting her around. Never shut up talking about her. The school bell rings signalling the start of class, so you leave a parting gift of a kiss on Ross’s cheek. This was the thing that set Eddie over the edge, he stormed off in a huff, almost forgetting Gareth was even there.

 Since that day you and Eddie had hardly spoken in fact, Eddie had hardly spoken at all. Which was very strange of him. You stop mentioning the dance as you knew it was a sore spot for the group plus now you had a date to talk to about all the details. Who didn’t seem to mind how long you talked about dress or plans for the night, he just liked hearing you talk. Despite how happy you should be, Something was keeping you awake at night, maybe it was nerves, who knew but you felt like something was missing. 

 You are Walking hand in hand with Ross through the gym doors, in your pink simplistic but beautiful dress with your date with a black suit and a pink tie. For once you felt like you belonged in this school, you weren’t the awkward girl who couldn’t get dates. You were a beautiful teenage girl going to a school dance with a handsome boy. Cliche or not, you were happy. 

 You danced to all the cheesy music on the dance floor with Ross and his friends until your feet ached. It was fine when it was a slow song because you could hold on to Ross for support but now it was faster music you knew you need a rest. “I need to sit down”, Ross nods leading you to a table near the dance floor, he went to sit down with you. You shook your head and held onto his arm to stop him, “dance, have fun. I’ll be fine. I’ll be back in 10” you smile. He didn’t want to leave you but how could he say no when looking into your beautiful eyes. 

 You looked around the room, everyone looked so nice. They had transformed the gym surprisingly well, you would never be able to tell there were kids doing laps around here only 48 hours prior. There wasn’t any drama tonight, it’s almost like this one night everyone just wanted to celebrate and didn’t care about social standards, which was nice.  You didn’t realise how many standards have been changed until you spotted the last person you’d expect to be here with a cheerleader. She wasn’t one of the most popular cheerleaders but she was still part of the group, he said he despised. Who’s the cliché now you thought bitterly. You shook your head, you had no right to be mean just because he didn’t want to go with you. You supposed he could go with someone else even if that hurt to admit.

 The cheerleader huffed at him and walked away, that didn’t take long. You didn’t know what he said but she was pissed. He was your friend, so hurt or not you had to go and check on him. You walk over to him. He looks up to see you walking towards him, he thinks he must have died and gone to heaven because the only way to describe you was angelic. He was such a fool for not asking you, he knew that now more than ever. He really liked you, and he wouldn’t deny that to himself anymore. Not when you were that perfect and not even just look-wise. You sat down in the plastic seat next to him, be cool he told himself. 

 He looked handsome in his black shirt and black jeans with his hair in a low bun. It was nice seeing him outside of his usual attire, you wanted to tell him how nice he looked, but this look wasn’t for you it was for her. “So Chris talked you out of the blue eyeshadow?” You joke to Eddie. He was beyond confused, it didn’t help that he couldn’t think straight when you look that beautiful. You soon realised he didn’t have a clue what you were talking about, A situation which has been tormenting your thoughts for weeks and he couldn’t even remember it. “Your flattering impression of me” you joked like it didn’t still kind of sting. 

 Eddie sunk into his seat at the thought of that day, he should have just asked you as soon as you mentioned it instead of teasing you. No, he should have asked you as soon as the winter formal was announced. Why did he have to have the Munson curse of stubbornness? He looks at you sincerely, a twinkle of sadness in his eyes “I’m sorry”. You are shocked, so you bring the back of your hand to Eddie’s head, the action causing Eddie’s heart to beat. It felt so loud he wondered if you could hear it. “Are you okay? You’re acting strange, first the dance and now you’re apologising. You must be sick”. 

 He laughs slightly moving your hand from his face hoping it will help his heart to stop, but it didn’t. “Sorry is in my vocabulary, it’s just I don’t always say it when I should. Also I knew I would end up here one way or another”. You gave him the strangest look, maybe this wasn’t Eddie in front of you, he certainly wasn’t acting like the man from a few weeks ago who thought a dance was the most stupid thing he had ever heard of. “What?”. He shrugs his shoulder like what he was about to say was the most casual thing ever “ just not who I thought I’d be going with”. Surely he wasn’t talking about you, no he couldn’t be. He probably meant someone else. You thought your crush on him had stopped, but the world was really testing you tonight.

 You couldn’t possibly look at him right now, so you scan the room for his date. “yeah, maybe you should have at least taken someone you like, even as a friend”. He nods, he was gonna shoot his shot, he had already fucked up so he surely couldn’t anymore. “Well, I was planning on taking you so…”. You choke on air, he wasn’t making any sense, had he gotten high before this, was that why he was acting like this? “you wouldn’t stop telling me how stupid it was, that I was a cliché”. 

 He played with the rings on his fingers, both of you avoiding eye contact with each other. “Yeah, but looking at your face, when you left. I kind of thought I had to”. He wanted to slap himself, why was he so awkward, maybe it was better this way never truly confessing how he felt stopped him from getting hurt. “Well turns out you didn’t have to”. You say signalling to your date. You're happy, who was he to get in the way he thought. But his mouth was quicker than his head and he spoke “true. But if he didn’t ask, I would have taken you”. 

 Whatever this game was, your heart couldn’t deal with it, you needed the Eddie who teased you back, he was easier to read than this one who wouldn’t even look at you. Maybe if you start it, he would come back with one of his quick remarks. “I wouldn’t have wanted to go with you anyways, you would have been telling me how lame and stupid it was all night. And you'd complain about having to wear a shirt” you joked, lightly hitting his arm hoping he would look at you. 

 No, you had the completely wrong idea about him, being with you wasn’t a chore, he would have been lucky. He needed you to know that. “I wouldn’t have. I would do anything to make you happy, so if that would have meant spending a night dancing to terrible music and having to wear a shirt. I would have and would have been happy.” He finally glances up and truly looks at you. “I’ll always do anything for you, I hope you know that”. You had never seen the look on his face before or maybe you had never noticed. “You look beautiful by the way, I’m sorry that should have been the first thing I said”. 

 Now you were the one with heart problems but you had the added problem of butterflies. You were gonna be sick, this couldn’t be real. You had a date you weren’t allowed to feel this way about someone else. Someone who is your friend, someone who also has a date. You needed to get out of there before your heart took control of your actions instead of your head. “I should probably get back to Ross”. 

 He felt his heart shatter he always knew you’d have to leave, but for you to go back to someone who should have been him, hurt. “Yeah, of course, have a good night. I'm probably gonna head home early”. You shook your head even if that might have been easier for your heart. He had already come with a pretty girl, who you were sure was nice if he decided to bring her. So even if you couldn’t have him, you didn’t mind as long as he was happy. “Give her a chance, you never know you could enjoy yourself if you keep your mouth shut for two seconds” you joke and walk away to find your date. 

 If that’s what you wanted he would listen, even if all he wanted was to dance with you. So he went in search of his date, Alice. He found her sitting glumly on a bench sipping punch, he sat down next to her. She deserved better than this, cheerleader or not. “I’m sorry, we should be out there dancing and I’m here pinning over someone who doesn’t even like me. I’m truly sorry, you deserve better than Edward Munson”. She shrugs her shoulders “I knew you didn’t like me, it’s my fault”.  He couldn’t hurt someone else, she did not deserve this. “No I’m the stupid one here, you’re beautiful, and any guy would be lucky to have you. I’m just unfortunately stupidly in love with someone else”. Alice held his hand to comfort him, he was trying to be honest and she appreciates it. Not many guys she knew, did that. “Have you told her?”. He laughs a little at the thought. “No, I missed my chance”. He signals to you on the dance floor with Ross, swaying to a slow song. 

 You felt like you could cry but that wasn’t fair on Ross. You should be happy, he was so lovely, he was good for you. Ross couldn't help but notice the eyes of Eddie that were locked on you from across the room. He look at you smiling, he wasn't the guy you should be with he knew that now. Especially when he could see the hurt that lay beneath the fake smile you wore. “Was Eddie okay?”. Of course, he saw that “yeah he’s fine” how were you supposed to describe what happened? “I like you y/n I do, but I’m not stupid. You like him”. You want to deny this, so you try to stutter out a response but you can't form words. “It’s okay, I understand, you can’t control your heart. You both like each other, so just because he’s stubborn doesn’t mean you should be”.  You kissed him on the cheek, god he was nice. “Thank you, you don’t hate me right?”. He smiles “I could never hate you, plus it would make history pretty awkward”. He jokes. 

 Ross looks over to the bench where the cheerleader and freak were sitting. “Now there’s a girl over there who looks like she needs a dance, hopefully, you can help the other one to finally smile”. He left to walk towards the pair. Eddie saw Ross walking over to them, was he mad? Had you told him what he had said? Did he go too far saying you were beautiful? He didn’t want to fight but he was ready to defend himself if a punch was thrown. Ross reached out his hand, and Eddie flinches waiting for impact. But nothing, because Ross’s hand wasn’t meant for him, it was meant for his date. 

 He held his hand out expectantly “do you wanna dance? I kind of got ditched by my date.” Alice nods and got up to dance with him. Before she left to turns to Eddie "tell her" and with that, she left. Were you okay? Did you ditch Ross, because of Eddie? Did Eddie upset you again? He didn’t want to ruin your night. You sat on the bench next to him. There was a beat of silence what would you say to each other? You were the first to break the ice. “You look beautiful too by the way” you smile at him. “Thanks” heat rises to his cheeks. “I’m sorry if I ruined your night”. 

 You shook your head, “it’s not over yet, so it can’t be ruined, well I guess it depends on how you answer next. Will you go to the winter-“ he put his hand on your mouth. “No I was supposed to ask that. Will you go to the dance with me?”. You licked his hand to get him to move it which worked “does it matter who asked who first?”. He nodded “yeah because I really wanted to ask the girl I like to a dance”. You blush. “Well I really wanted to ask the boy I like to a dance”. Without thinking he grabs your face and kisses you. Taken by surprise it takes you a second to kiss back. When you finally both stop for the air you are both smiling like Cheshire cats. “I wish I would have told you before, then I could have done that a lot sooner”. You nod. “So do I?”. 

 Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners comeson over the speakers, “are you gonna ask me to dance or am I gonna have to do that too” you joke. He playfully hits your shoulder standing up, holding out his hand to you. “ Would you like to join me to dance to my favourite song Mylady”. You reach out to hold onto his hand. “This is my favourite song”.  He shakes his head “ anything that makes me think of you is my favourite”.

[octuscle]

So I just got my Chronivac and noticed that it's saying that I used to be a country boy stud with a redneck boyfriend and don't remember any of this, did someone else use one on me without my knowledge

Phew! As far as I can tell, you have purchased a special edition of the Chronivac with a preset already activated. And you started the activation by contacting support. I'm afraid there's not much I can do… At least not until the transformation is complete.

You're sitting in a sports bar with one of your frat brothers. You've just come from rowing training. You're both stars of the university team. Still! Because while you're waiting for your non-alcoholic beer, something starts to change… You were just talking about the upcoming exams. And suddenly you're talking about football. Somehow out of the blue. Fuck university. University pisses you off.

You may not notice it, but the smell in the bar starts to change. Sweat. Beer. Sawdust. Frying fat… Your eyes fall on the man next to you at the bar. Stephen, the captain of the lacrosse team, was just standing there. Now there's someone who looks a lot like Stephen. But he's wearing a sweaty undershirt, has one thumb tucked under his massive belt buckle and has a bottle of beer in the other. His jeans are dirty and he's wearing dusty biker boots. And they are no longer standing on a stylish concrete floor but on an old floorboard covered with sawdust. Stephen turns up his nose. And spits on the floor. What the hell?!?!?! Your bro asks you if you have snuff. You're too confused to be surprised that you pull a can of Copenhagen out of your back pocket. And before you put the tin away again, you take a big pinch yourself.

Something is different. But you don't know what… Caren comes over and asks if you'd like another round of beer. And if you want something to eat. Damn, a big portion of chicken wings and a pitcher of beer would be just the thing right now. But before the food arrives, you have to take a piss. And actually get rid of any other pressure. You glance in the direction of the toilets. The stall has just become free. You signal to your bro that he should follow you straight away. As an appetizer, he gets a load of what's currently building up in your balls.

It was a damn great evening in the bar. The food was good, there was plenty of beer and you were able to cum twice. But you and your buddy had to go to bed early. You had to be at work at 07:00. At the latest. There's a lot to do at the moment. Due to the economic crisis, your fellow citizens have to drive their cars longer than usual. And that means more work for you and your buddy in the workshop. But you love your job!

But you love the end of the day even more. Tonight is burger night at the sports bar. Eileen makes the best and biggest burgers in the county. And every second pitcher of beer is free. And today you have something to celebrate. A city slicker broke down with his show-off car. You don't have that much experience with German tin. But the car eventually purred like a Bavarian cat again. And the snob had to bleed for it. And you finally have the last installment for your garage together. Tomorrow you'll go to Pete at the bank and then tear up the loan agreement. And you'll spend today a local round on that fact. It's only half the price today. Hehehe.

You're the hottest studs in town. Rumor has it that you've bedded every woman under 40. Many women brag that you got them pregnant. You like to jerk off to these stories. Preferably as a couple. You keep your trucker hats on. The one or other dried cum stain can tell stories.

A few weeks ago there was some chick who took pictures of you and shared them on one of those shitty social networks or whatever. She got in touch a few days later and said that the response had been amazing or something. She could turn you into stars. You don't want to be stars. You're already studs. That's quite enough for you. But the good thing is that a whole lot of guys are now coming to your place who want to be fucked by you. And you don't need to be told twice. Your food is on Hank. Because of you, his motel is almost always fully booked since the chick's visit.

The sports bar is still called "Eileen's". Just like it's still called "Hank's Motel". They haven't owned it all for a long time. It's all yours. It may not be obvious to your bro and you, but you're by far the richest people in town. It all started when some rich guy you two were shagging in Hank's presidential suite had a heart attack shortly afterwards. And left you both a million dollars each. There were several cases like that. Inheritances, gifts. One guy even wanted to adopt you both. Shit, you had a stressful time. The workshop during the day, you had to look after your fans in the evening. That damn chick. Until her visit, you had a really relaxed life.

Hell, your life is as relaxed as it can be. There are so many people in this village who owe you a hell of a lot. Literally. And figuratively. You might not have as much energy as you used to. But you still have a hell of a lot of sex!

Caren comes over and asks if you'd like another round of beer. And if you want something to eat. Damn, a big portion of chicken wings and a pitcher of beer would be just the thing right now. But before the food arrives, you have to take a piss. And actually get rid of any other pressure. You glance in the direction of the toilets. The stall has just become free. You signal to your bro that he should follow you straight away. As an appetizer, he gets a load of what's currently building up in your balls. Good things never change!

[jellyfishcake]

Mae x F°reader

Mae wanted to show you something she found well looking for food. As she helps you get on her horse "Your going to love what I found [Y/n]" as she starts to talk about how amazing it was when she found this but she was taking you at night time.

After she was done talking silence took over a soft silence all you can hear is the horse feet "clip-clop" it was satisfying to hear.

After a while you hear more "clip-clop" behind you guys. You turn around to see Noa, Soona, and Anaya on their horses Mae stops the horse and turns it around to them. "What are you doing?" Mae asks "We wanted to see what you found out their" Noa says back as he stops his horse making a gap between you guys. "Anaya wants to see too" as he talks while signing Soona didn't have to speak because she wanted to do the exact same thing as them.

Mae looks at you for your permission you nod.

"You can come" as she turns the horse around to continue on to their destination. Many buildings come in view some tall, big, small, and short they were all taken over by mother nature over the years as apes take over the world and humans become less seen.

"Their it is [Y/n]" she points to a building with a sign saying 'Music store' you knew what music was your dad would sing to you some small lyrics when you were feeling down. It was a beautiful thing humans made when they were dominant in the world. Mae gets off the horse as she does her hand was out for you to take when you got down so you took it. She pulls your hand gently towards her when walking soon after the trio behind you starts to follow closely. As you guys walk through the building you see vinyl on the floor some still on the shelf they look to be in good condition still.

"Stay here let me get it" as she walks away to go in another room.

Noa picks up a vinyl off the floor and inspect it with Soona on his side while Anaya looks around the room. You on the other hand look in front of you to see the middle has a widow on top the floor looks empty with nothing on it except dirt and leaves.

You jump when the lights turns on "[Y/n] you ready" as Mae comes back with a record player and plugs it in an outlet. Her left arms holds a vinyl she takes out the vinyl and puts it in the slot she places the tone arm on the spinning vinyl.

Music comes out you look her with wide eye's she has a soft smile on her face.

"Take my hand [Y/n]"

You take it and she pulls you in.

"Come on Eileen"

Her left hand goes on your waist as your hand goes on her shoulder and your extra hands intertwine together.

"Poor old Johnnie Ray"

You guys spin as she takes a step back two times well you follow her step towards her.

"Sounded sad upon the radio moved a million hearts in Mono"

You take a step backwards Mae pulls you out and pulls you right back in as she spins you around her hand.

"Our mothers cried"

Your back was to her as your left arm was stretched out with hers. Mae right arm was around your waist spinning while taking small steps as you guys go.

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

Noa was confused of what you guys were doing plus he had some many questions to asks.

"What do you think their doing" Soona said looking at Noa "I don't know" Noa said back. "Anaya is confused" He talked while signing "Plus what's that sound coming from" Soona looked at it with curiosity from a far Noa walked slowly towards it "They have a pretty voice" Noa heard Anaya said behind him.

All three of them surrounded the box.

Their was something spinning inside of it they hear the voice but doesn't know where it's coming from.

Umm I'll finish this tomorrow. But I'm working on some requests 😈 writing this because it been on my mind for awhile. But I'm working on requests right now I'm locked in writing them.

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

Comfort in an Escape Plan

Summary - Part 51 in the Comfort series

Pairing - Dean Winchester x Reader, Reader x Sam (platonic), Reader x Bobby (father-figure), Andre (OG Character) x Reader (best friends), Garth x Bess

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

You reach over onto your bedside table for your phone and bring up the ad as he looks at you confused. “It’s not in the suburbs and it doesn’t have a fence, let alone a white picket one, but I think it’s perfect.” You bite your lip as you hand him your phone and he scrolls through the photos. After a few minutes you add, “It’s just up the hill from here so it’s close by if we do ever have to come back by the Bunker for anything. Sam can visit… But I know it’s sudden. We can wait, there’ll be other houses. We can keep looking…” you ramble.

Dean drops your phone on the bed and kisses you to make you stop talking. When he pulls back, he looks into your eyes and then says the last thing you expect, “Let’s do it.” 

Not comprehending his words you start to ramble again. “I love you too. I didn’t mean to spring this on you right after a hunt. Let’s just…”

He kisses you again. “Baby, I said yes already. We can look in the morning. Stop rambling and stressing.”

“Dean…”

“I talked to Sam. It’s time. There’s always going to be evil in this world, but why does it have to be our problem? There are other hunters.”

“But…”

“His secret crush? Another hunter who’s not ready to settle down just yet. They want to train other hunters, take a step back and ensure the next generation is prepared and has the best chances of survival. With Bobby’s help, he thinks he can get the Bunker back to its former glory. You and I can help, but only when it suits us. He’s invited Eileen, his secret girlfriend, over for dinner tomorrow night to discuss.”

“Dean…Baby…Really?” you tear up at the relief and excitement of it all. “But at dinner?”

“He knew I hadn’t spoken to you yet. So, what do you think?”

“I think I’m in love with you! I love all of that! We’re really getting out?”

“That’s the plan. I know I can never guarantee that some evil won’t try to drag us back in…And I can never fully guarantee your safety…But this is me doing my best.”

You kiss him deeply. “I knew I married the right man.”

“No…” he kisses you again. “I married the perfect woman. The bravest woman I ever met who also happens to be an amazing mother and wife. I never believed it was possible to have a future outside of hunting until you. You make me want more. And you make me believe it’s possible.”

“We’re the first hunters I know to get married. We have a werewolf for an adopted daughter. Anything is possible, my love.”

“Does that mean it’s possible for me to still get laid tonight?”

You check the time on your phone before putting it back on the bedside table. “It’s almost midnight, Baby…”

He sighs, kisses you softly and then lays on his back pulling you into his arms with your head on his chest. “You’ve had a big day, sleep.”

“We’ve had a big day,” you correct. “There’ll be other times. We’re married now. Good night, Dean”

“Good night, Sweetheart.”

You relax as his hand rubs down your back and his chest slowly rises and falls with his steady breath.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

When you wake up, Dean is still sleeping soundly beside you. You admire his peaceful form for several minutes. The light scattering of symmetrical freckles that adorn his cheeks, his perfect, model-like profile, his plump, all-too-kissable pink lips, and finally his hair that’s grown just enough to flop over his forehead. You carefully run your fingertips over his chest and stomach, taking in the ridges of his softly toned muscles, that he unfortunately keeps hidden. With a face and body like his, you know he’d make a fortune modelling or even acting. Not that he agrees, or believes you. Last time you voiced that belief he told you about him and Sam’s experience in an alternate universe where they were actors and their life was a TV show. It sounded absurd to you at the time, but you’ve seen and experienced a lot with them since then. 

You watch his face as you bring your hand up to caress his stubble covered cheek. 

“You know it’s creepy to watch people sleep…” Dean says gruffly without opening his eyes.

“But I married a model…”

He scoffs. “If anyone married a model, I did.” He then opens his eyes as he flips you both over so you’re trapped between his arms underneath him. He kisses the tip of your nose first and then your lips. You kiss back. He drops down some of his weight allowing you to feel the familiar intrusion against your lower stomach. “It’s been weeks. Please, Baby.”

You breath hitches at the feeling and the pleading sound of his voice. Every fibre in your body wants to give in and say yes, but then your alarm sounds on your phone. Dean reaches over and shuts it off with lightning-fast reflexes.

“Please…Say yes. Let me feel you, Baby. I need you.”

You put your hand on his chest and look at him sympathetically as you see the lust in his eyes. “Dean…”

“Son of a bitch!” he growls.

“I’m sorry.”

He drops his head, letting his longer hairs tickle your chin and he takes deep breaths to control himself. You reach your arm around to play with his hair in an attempt to comfort him. He pulls away and rolls back to the otherside of the bed. He chest heaves. His clenched hands rest on his face. You roll onto your side to face him.

“Baby, I swear, don’t look at me like that. I can feel you staring. If you don’t want me to jump you right now, you have to leave.”

“While I know you have more restraint than that, I won’t force you to struggle more than you already are.” You push the covers back and stand up. As you grab a change of clothes you chance another glance at him and say, “I’m sorry. I love you.”

He doesn’t dare look at you. “I love you too. Now please leave. If you change in here I won’t be able to stop myself.”

“Okay, alright. I’m going.” You sneak out to the bathroom and change into a fresh T-shirt and pair of jeans. You then quietly check on Destiny, who is unsurprisingly already awake and staring at the ceiling. “Hungry?” you ask from her doorway.

She looks over at you, smiles and nods. 

“Come on then.”

“Where’s Dean?” she asks as she sits up on the stool and watches you make coffee.

“He’s…uh… He’s sleeping in,” you reply with a small smirk as you move effortlessly around the kitchen making toast, serving her heart and pouring coffee. You open the fridge, looking for something to put on your toast. You find an almost empty jar of peanut butter and sigh. Goddammit Dean…His lazy habits saved my life once though…

You take it out and put it on the bench. You scrape out just enough for a single slice of toast and then sit down beside Destiny. 

When Dean finally joins you you glare at him and then motion towards the empty peanut butter jar. He places his coffee on the table and wraps his arms around you. He kisses your head. “I’ll go shopping today. Sorry, Honey.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Honey?”

“Yeah?”

“No, I mean, that’s new.”

“Oh, uh, just trying out new things. Do you not like it? I can stick with Sweetheart.”

“No, I don’t mind. It just surprised me is all. You’re not generally one for change. That empty jar is my case in point. All these years and you still drink the same beer, get the same meal at every diner, you’ve always used the same nickname…”

“Well, things are changing…I’m married now, we have a kid,” he reaches over and puts a hand on Destiny’s shoulder. “I’m the only one who doesn’t seem to be making any adjustments…well you know except…”

“Except what?” Destiny asks curiously. 

You raise an eyebrow at Dean and stand up. “Nope. I’m not touching that one. Good luck, Winchester.” You pat him on the back as you go to the sink to clean your cup and plate. 

Destiny continues to look at Dean expectantly, waiting for an explanation. Dean looks at you for help but you just shrug. He sighs and then finally says, “except that I can’t stay in bed all day…And for the last while I’ve had to share my bed with two women.”

“One, she’s a girl. And two, who’s bed?” You ask with your hands on your waist as if challenging him. “Cause that complaint can easily be fixed…You can enjoy your whole bed all to yourself if you want.”

Destiny giggles, despite not fully understanding what you’re talking about. She just finds the back anf forth and your attitude amusing. You make your way across the room to her with a smile and bundle her up in your arms. “Destiny and I can always find somewhere else to sleep. There’s plenty of rooms in the Bunker.”

“What about mountain house?” She asks quietly as she hides her face in your neck.

“That’s right! Shi-oot! We have to go! It’s on open house this morning.” You place Destiny on the floor. “Can you quickly get changed please?” You look at Dean, still in his sweats. “You too!”

Destiny hurries down the hall, but Dean hangs behind with you. He mosies over, wraps his arms around you and leans down to kiss you. When he pulls back you frown. “You said we could…Did you change your mind?”

“Can’t I kiss my wife?”

“Not if it’s gonna make us miss the house. Please, Dean.”

“I’ll meet you in the car in five.” He kisses you again before pulling away and disappearing down the hall. You finish tidying up the kitchen and then go back to your room for shoes and your handbag. You then go and sit in the driver’s side of the Impala. A few minutes later Destiny comes running into the garage dressed in jeans and a nice T-shirt, similar to you, with a hair brush and ribbon in her hand. 

“Help, please…”

Just as you open the door, Dean comes into the garage as well. You look at him and then back at Destiny. “Back seat, both of you. I’m the one that knows the way, so I’m driving. Dean, you’re gonna learn to do hair.”

“In a moving vehicle? No way. You navigate, I’ll drive,” he counters.

You sigh, knowing it would be a disaster to have Dean do her hair for the first time ever in the car. “Fine.” You stand up and usher Destiny into the car as you take the ribbon and brush and climb in beside her. Dean happily jumps in the front and starts the engine. As he pulls out onto the road, you gently run the brush through Destiny’s messy hair. You expertly multitask, providing clear directions with plenty of time to make each turn, as you have been doing for years while on hunts first with Andre and then with Sam and Dean, all while brushing and securing the ribbon in Destiny’s now neat and shiny hair. Dean pulls a park next to a modern SUV which you assume must belong to another family of prospective buyers, and shuts off the engine before looking up at the house that you’ve fallen in love with so quickly.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Tag list: (Leave a like or comment on this post or let me know below if you want to be added to the tag list for this series)

@bitchwitch1981, @muhahaha303, @justrealizedimmascifygurl, @mcdowell-123, @leigh70, @marvelsmarauder, @losa12308, @tapedeck-hearts, @luvjaida, @peachtxa, @ambearsstuff, @shadow-of-a-cloud, @slut-for-buck, @iprobablyshipit91, @sassy-pelican, @fallenlilangel99, @heavenlyhopeful0, @nelachu2423, @ladysparkles78, @canyouimaginethatstory, @mrlonelycat, @roseblue373, @staley83

[lizaawinchester]

promise me, you wont decide for me

Title: you need to promise me

Word count: 1442

Description: After living with the boys for years and having a non official relationship with dean you finally decide to bring it up. His need to protect you has always stopped you from titling what it was you had together but after an easy hunt just you two and Miracle in your hometown the nostalgia reminds you of how much you want to be able to make your love for him public. but first he has to promise never to push you away just because he thinks you're better off without him (Post Chuck; (dean never died in my head)

tw- none

You were tired of leaving his bed after an amazing couple of hours together, sometimes only talking and watching movies, sometimes steamy sex only to sleep in a cold bed alone 2 rooms down. In a tired haze you wondered what he was thinking as you both fell asleep sharing an old creaky bed with the awful tv playing a random movie.

There were never any set rules with your arrangement but you never really talked about it. Just living together with Sam in the bunker meant that you had practically already been a couple. Everyone knew the feelings were mutual but it was never discussed. Small I love you’s were said occasionally and you two would cuddle up in private. Sharing your favorite movies and talking about everything from your wildly different childhoods to your worst memories. Eventually you started hooking up and that lead to where you were now. Alone together in your home state in nostalgic town for you. This area was memorable for you as a kid and when you saw that there was likely a Vamps nest nearby you had to come and get rid of it. After finishing late at night you and Dean decided to just keep the room an extra night to let Sam and Eileen have the bunker to themselves for one more day. You had come here with your family and made your best in this little town before your parents were possessed and killed by angels. Even in the freezing cold of February you remembered the good parts of having a somewhat normal childhood here and getting into hunting later in life, unlike the Winchester brothers.

That night you asked Dean if he was open to the idea of making it official, being back home made you remember the love you had always wished for and practically already had but were too afraid to admit. In his half asleep voice he admitted "I wish you were mine from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep." before falling asleep with you in his arms.  Slowly, knowing that his tired self was not up for much of a conversation you fell asleep too, thinking of how to possibly bring this up again on the long drive home tomorrow.

The next morning.

Taking miracle out to run around before your long drive back to the bunker you decided to get it out of the way hoping he even remembered the conversation from his half-asleep state

Staring at the rocky pathway you practically whispered, “So about what you said last night, did you really mean that”

D “of course." he said surprised you would even ask. "I mean I am ok with this sort of together but not really officially thing, but I mean it when I say I love you and I would rather have you officially be mine than be friends who have and are aware of their feelings”

“If were going to do this you need to promise me something.”

“Ok… “

“I make my own decisions for myself. I know what is best for me and you cant try and decide that”

“ok… I know that you can make your own choices. Where are you going with this”

“I need to know that one day when you are feeling shitty or when I am pissed off by something you’re not going to tell me to leave. If you ever tell me to go because you are bad for me, I will not come back”

“wait so you want me to promise that I will never end it, because I never plan on telling you to leave.”

“No. I am saying that you can never, I mean ever, try to tell me that I am better off without you or I deserve better than you. I deserve what I want and someone who loves me enough to see that. With jack in charge we control our own lives and that includes me too. I know you don’t see yourself the way that I do but I know that there is no one out there better for me.”

“Y/n.. ”

“No let me finish. If I thought you would do anything that would hurt me, I would not be here, living with you and sam. You are the kindest and most loving person I know. You let me sleep in your bed after having a panic attack and you make me feel safe. You are definitely the best sex I have I ever had plus you let me take all of the covers and because you know I get cold at night. You are the best person I could ever find for me and  If I thought that you were not what was best for me I would leave on my own.”

“what if I am not what is best for you”

 “then we should not be together at all. But that’s just it you are.

You stopped your walk grabbing his arm to turn him to look at you. “I need you to see that I want you and all of you. The good and the bad because if you want to be with me you have to love all of me the good and the bad.”

“I don’t think there is any bad”

“Then youre lying to yourself… or you don’t really know me” He practically glared at you as you said it.

“ Cmon you cant say that. I know you better than anyone, even sam. And I do love you, all of you”

“ok then if you love me you cannot wake up one day and decide that you think I deserve ‘better’ or deserve more. I don’t want to have ‘normal life’, especially not if it means I can’t have you. Living like this sucks sometimes but so does every life and I don’t want to leave the bad parts because it would mean leaving all of the good parts too.”

“ok I think I get what you mean. You’re really mean when you’re hungry but I wouldn’t change it because when I start making burgers you come up and hug me from behind”

A small laugh fell as you smiled up to him. Picking up the tennis ball Miracle dropped at your feet. You turned to throw it before looking back at him and said,

“So I need you to promise me that you will not make that choice FOR ME. You will not try to tell me that you are bad for me or I should leave because you think I would be better off. I would have asked months ago but you always try to protect me from everything and I will not lose you because one day you decide you need to protect me from you.”

 You looked at each other for a long second as the wind blew by your face. Your ears stung as the sharp air got under your hair and you shrugged your shoulders for the large coat to cover you.

“if you are ever going to end it, it will be because you want to, not because you are trying to protect me from something”

He looked down to you, and you squinted up blocking the sun coming from behind his head. He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you in to his warmth, blocking out the wind for a moment of relief to the cold. You looked up and locked eyes as you held your arms to your chest protectively, unsure what he would say next.

“I promise you that I will never try to end this for your benefit. I will let you decide what is best for you. But I cannot promise that I will not protect you because hat I will always do.”

He pulled you in closer moving his arms up your back to pull your head into his chest and kiss the top of your head. Staying comfortably there for a second as you both lightly swayed with his heart beat. Letting go only when Miracle jumped on his knee and released you back to the cold to lean down and throw the ball to the water. Grabbing your hand walking along back to baby.

“I mean if you get tired of me or my hunger mood swings and that’s why you want me gone, I would understand”

“ok so I can break up with you, but only if you really piss me off.” Dean said sarcastically as he turned to meet your eyes already looking to him

“yeah and If you tell me to leave because you have decided its what its ‘best for me’” you said using your one hand for air quotes, “then I will chop off your head with a machete. I’ve beheaded plenty of monsters, you know I can do it”

 He smiled, laughing at your dark humor before switching from holding your hand to wrapping an arm around your shoulders “ok I promise I won’t tell you what’s best for you”

[destieltaggedfic]

haii ☺️☺️ do u have any fluffy farmer or domestic in the country side fics ? there was one destiel fic i read inspired by the song good directions by billy currington and i ADORED it :3

oh man. There are SO MANY Dean retires to a farm fic out there, even without getting into Farmer/Ranch AUs. Honestly, the first draft of this post was massive.

I'll Keep It Through Tomorrow – stratiotis   Ao3

Set S10 AU.  When Dean killed Cas during their fight, he disappeared, isolating himself in a small cottage.  Sam has tried everything to find him, and his last ditch attempt is to bring Cas back to life to help him.  But Cas isn’t about to betray Dean’s location so leaves Sam behind to find Dean himself.

Word Count: 43k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

something suddenly everywhere – noviembre   Ao3

Set 15x20 didn’t happen AU.  Sam and Jack have hope that they can get Cas back but Dean just needs to get away.  A hunt leaves him with a newly gifted horse ranch and given the last thing he wants to do anymore is hunt it seems like the best place for him to see out his days so he can quietly grieve.

Word Count: 51k                              Non-Graphic Sex

love is a cowboy – deancaskiss   Ao3

Set 15x20 didn’t happen AU.  They finally agree on a farm as their place of retirement and as their house comes together, the number of animals housed there grows.

Word Count: 8k                                 Non-Graphic Sex

International Harvester – alpacasandravens   Ao3

Set 15x20 didn’t happen AU.  In the aftermath, Sam wants to move in with Eileen and insists that Dean leaves the bunker so he won’t be there alone.  He instead buys a farm to fix up.  When Cas is returned to him he’s not prepared to let him go elsewhere.

Word Count: 22k                              No Sex

Recipes for Two – RogueTranslator   Ao3

AU.  Berry Farmer Dean is also a budding Instagram foodie and Youtuber.  When activist Castiel leaves a flirty comment on a picture, it may lead to Dean’s lonely farming life may be at an end. (Each chapter ends with a recipe that Dean makes in the story.  I now have several chapters bookmarked to try)

spirit of the west - teen_dean   Ao3

AU.  Its summer of 1997 and Dean is 18, out of high school and has just realised he’s gay.  The fact that Cas Novak walked back onto his horse farm as the town’s newest vet has nothing to do with that last revelation.  Unfortunately there are just as many secrets on the ranch as there are horses. 

Word Count: 141k                            Graphic Sexual Acts

[castieldelamancha]

"Come over here, Cas, Sam and Eileen are ready."

Castiel stands up from his chair and walks to the other side of the table, leaning over Dean's shoulder to look at the computer screen where Sam and Eileen wave at him as soon as he is on view. He waves back, painfully aware of the scent of Dean's aftershave, they are so close, of his warmth, so close, of how easy it would be to simply reach out and touch him. And how complicated it would make things. He hears Sam clearing his throat and he realizes he was staring at Dean's profile. He looks at the screen once again, consciously avoiding staring at Eileen's knowing eyes.

"Well, you guys have anything? Because we have no clue what we are after so far." Sam and Eileen share a look at Dean's question and Sam shakes his head slowly.

Not yet. Eileen signs, Castiel saying it out loud for Dean, because he just really started learning ASL and he just knows the basics for now, he is a fast learner, Castiel is sure he will improve in no time. It's kinda complicated looking for such specific info within all the materials you have around here. She gestures at the library around them, Castiel isn't surprised, not with the few clues they have been able to gather here and send their way.

"Nah, you know what's complicated? Winning a staring contest against Cas." Dean says, "you will find something soon."

Sam rolls his eyes, "I don't think I could stand to look at Cas for long enough to have a staring contest with him," Castiel makes a face and Sam's expression turns apologetic, "you could probably see all my sins, or whatever." He explains and Dean lets out an snort.

"I can do that without having to stare at you for a prolonged period of time."

"Dude, really?" Now Dean is full on laughing.

"C'mon Cas, don't be mean." He likes that about Dean, how he can telll when Castiel is being serious and when he is trying to mess with them. He likes many things about him.

"Don't worry Sam, your secrets are safe, I wouldn't invade your privacy in such a way."

Dean, still laughing, muttering about the horror on Sam's face, bumps his shoulder against Cas' side and he stares at him for a brief moment, smiling down at him. He likes Dean like this, laughing freely, the weight on his shoulder seeming lighter to carry if only for a moment, it's a rare sight, but one he always commits to memory.

As soon as his eyes go back to the screen Eileen signs, too fast for Sam to be able to catch more than a couple words even if he has been learning for longer than Dean.

Will you ever tell him?

Castiel raises an eyebrow.

Have you told Sam?

Woah, aren't you guys supposed to be beings of good vibes and light?

Castiel laughs lightly, making Dean, who was having his own conversation with Sam turn to look at him.

Unfortunately for you, you know the only angel that never was quite what you would expect of angels to be.

He wouldn't consider any of the other angels perfect beings of light and love either anyway, Eileen grins at him, "what?" Dean says, still staring at him, his tone light, "you guys talking shit about us?"

"I was just telling Eileen how you used me as an excuse to get two slices of pie back at the diner we stop at on our way here."

Dean scoffs and looks away, shaking his head, it seems it's Sam's turn to laugh now, his laughter growing louder when Dean claims is getting late, it's only five pm, and that they better say this goodbyes because they all have a long day ahead tomorrow.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Sliding Into Home ~ On The Hunt For Mike Weiss

Pairing: MLB!Frank Adler x Abigail Hernandez (OFC)

Synopsis:

After a trade from Boston to Los Angeles, first baseman Frank Adler would seem to have it all. Money, women, an amazing niece, yes Frank should have it all. Except for one thing. One thing that left after a mistake five years ago. Los Angeles should be the chance to start over. Except she is supposed to be in Boston. Not his new medical director.

* A Frank Adler AU x Major League Baseball Story**

Warning: ANGST (i can't stress this enough), second chances, cheating, S~M~U~T!!, slow burn, drug use, abandonment issues, betrayal, domestic violence (i may have missed some), flashbacks

Dividers by me

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

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Sliding Into Home Master List Main Masterlist

Mary Eileen Adler has only ever known two parents: Frank and Abby.  They were her dad and mom for all intents and purposes, regardless of the time Abby left.  She understood that her real mother was Frank’s sister, but she wasn’t her mom.  

And she understood that she had a father but that he never acknowledged her so really, he wasn’t anything to her.  

So why did Uncle Mike say he was her dad? 

As her grandparents drove them to their Boston house, Mary sat quietly, not sure how to ask the questions in her head. Uncle Mike was nice but not nice to Frank or Abby.  She remembered the bruises she saw on Abby and when she asked, she was told she was in an accident.  But she knew it wasn’t the truth.  

“Nugget, are you hungry?” 

Mary snapped her head up to Frank, who looked concerned. “A little,” she whispered.  

“Do you want...” 

“I want Abuela’s food. Because it's at home.  And I want to go home.”  

The sadness in her voice nearly tears Frank in half.  His little girl is scared and hurting. “Ok Nugget.  We’ll go home.  We have a flight to Los Angeles tomorrow.”  

Mary nodded. “You won’t leave me, right?” 

Frank almost lost it right there.  He lifted the girl out of her seat and into his lap, adjusting the seatbelt so she could sit the rest of the way home there. “I’m always going to be here for you.  And I’ll make sure nothing happens to you again, ok?  I love you Mary, so much. Abby and I are go so happy you are ok and that you are back home with us.” He kissed her temple and she snuggled into him. “You’re ours Nugget and we’ll fight every day to make sure of that.”  

May fell asleep in the comfort of his arms.  They made it to Abby’s parents' house and Frank took her right to the guest room.  Tucking her in, he moved to leave the room, but a tiny hand fisted his shirt.  “Please stay with me,” she whispered.  

Frank smiled, scooting her to the middle of the bed, took off his shoes and climbed in. Mary rested her head on his chest and went back to sleep, taking Frank with her. 

 Frank sat with a coffee, watching Mary a few hours later as she played in the back yard with Johnny, Susie, Marco and Scott, Dodger chasing her around.  He sighed as he took in the sight.  “Frankie?” He looked over to his wife, who placed some sweet bread on the table next to him.  “Are you ok baby?” 

“Yeah, Cricket, I’m ok.  I’m just wondering how I’m going to break this news to Mary.  We have to give her something and she’s too smart not to just start googling everything.”  He rubbed his forehead.  “I was hoping we could have this conversation when she was older, but I guess not.”  

“I know Frankie but its better it comes from us.” Abby kissed his head. “Our baby needs to know the truth.” She looked at the group and an idea came to mind.  “How about we do this with everyone here? If it becomes too much, she can lean on Scott or Johnny or Marco or us, whatever makes her happy. She’ll know that she is loved by everyone here.”  

“Are you ok with everyone knowing our past?” 

“I am not ashamed of how everything got out of sync, Frankie. We were manipulated and that the truth.  Is that something I wanted Mary to know? No, of course not because I never wanted her to be afraid of anything but if it makes her safer, then I will do what I need to do to protect our girl.”  She cupped his cheek and he leaned into her warmth.  

“We’ll do it when you parents come back,” he said. “I want her to have all of the support she can have.” Frank leaned into Abby for a kiss. “You said our baby. Did you mean that?” 

“Mary is ours, Frankie. Of course I meant that.” 

“No I mean, will we have a baby?” 

Abby sucked in a breath. “You think you’re ready for that?” 

Frank looked at her eyes. “Maybe we wait until this all blows over but yeah, Cricket, I want a baby with you.” 

“That good. Because if you wanted a baby with someone else, I’ll murder you.”  

After a dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, the family gathered around the living room, Mary sat between Frank and Abby, chatting with Johnny.  “Mary, we wanted to talk to you about what’s been happening.”  

She fell silent as her family quieted.  She looked around and swallowed.  “Okay.”  

Abby sighed. “You know how we’ve told you that your birth mom is Frank’s sister?” Mary nodded. “Well, we also told you that we didn’t know who your biological father is, right?” She nodded again. “The last couple of months have been enlightening to us all.”  

“What does that mean?” 

Frank swallowed. “You remember that Abby was in the hospital?” 

“You said she was in accident.”  

“She was, Nugget, but not the way you were thinking.  Uncle Mike,” he swallowed, “he...uh... he...” 

“Did he hurt Abby?” 

“No.” He said firmly. “No, he didn’t touch her, but he knew where your mother was and invited her into Abby’s old house. And she hurt Abby.”  

“Why?” Mary’s eyes filled with tears.  “Why would she do that? 

“We are not really sure Mary,” Abby said softly. “But Uncle... just Mike, sweetheart, Mike and Diane have their reasons for everything.  All we know is that the police are looking for them and they and we have a lot of questions. Do you have any questions?” 

Mary looked at all of the people in her life, her family. “Are they going to take me away?” she asked just above a whisper. “Will they...” tears trickled down her face, “will they take you and Dodger away?” She looked between Abby and Frank. “You’re my mom and dad, not them.”  She began to sob.  

Frank immediately got out of his seat in front of her. “Listen to me, Mary.” He locked eyes with her. “No one is going to take you anywhere.  You are coming home with me and Abby and Scott and Dodger.  Johnny and Susie are going to hang out with us. Your abuelos are going to visit and we ae going to visit in the off season but this right here,” he looked around the room, “this is your family. You are my girl,” he wiped around her face to remove the tears. “I won’t let anyone, or anything change that.”  

Mary threw herself into his arms as everyone calmed their own soft cries. Mary understood. Her home was with Frank and Abby.  

The two people who would do anything for her.  

The morning of their flight home, Abby and Frank sat down with the lead detective on Mary’s kidnaping case, Paul Diskant.  “I’m sorry I haven’t met with you sooner,” he said, after introducing himself. “I’ve been following up with some leads coming in.”  

“Any news on finding Weiss?” Frank asked with a hard edge. 

Detective Diskant frowned. “No, it looks like he rented a car when he arrived in Boston a week ago and turned it in, but we don’t know if he’s left town or has someone else helping him.  We found the house, just as Mary described. There were no signs that he was going to hurt her in any way. We did find some photographs, surveillance of your family. It was taken by a professional, so I am assuming Mr. Weiss hired a private investigator.” 

“Fuck,” Frank mumbled. “What is the next step? We’re flying back to Los Angeles this afternoon.”  

“Private?” 

“Yeah, after what happened to Abby, I didn’t want to risk a commercial flight.” 

“I would like to send some officers to escort your family to the airport, just as a precaution.” Detective Diskant sighed. “I’m going to contact LAPD and advise the detectives on your case, Dr. Adler, what’s happened.  I’m sure, with the coverage it received in the press, they are aware of something but not everything and I want to keep them in the loop.”  

“Alright, what do you suggest for personal security?” Frank asked.  

“Frankie,” Abby started.  

“No, Abigail, we are not discussing this again. I will not allow something to happen to you or Mary or Scott for that matter.”  

“Mr. Adler, Dr. Adler, let me make this clear. My recommendation is that your family take every precaution available.  It is clear that your sister and Mr. Weiss are not of sound mind.  He is desperate to get to you Dr. Adler.  Your husband is right.”  

Abby stared at the detective for a minute before looking at her husband. “You really think he might try again?”  

“Cricket, if it wasn’t for the fact that your entire family is with our girl right now, she would be here with us. I refuse to leave any of you vulnerable again.”  

Departing from the airport, Abby’s parents hugged their daughter, granddaughter and son-in-law hard. “Call us when you get home,” Ana said, cupping her daughter’s cheek.  

“It’ll be late, Mama.”  

“I don’t care.”  She turned to Scott and Johnny. “You boys behave. “ 

“We will Mrs. Hernandez,” Johnny said before picking up Mary and carrying her into the plane.  

Abby looked around.  “Where is Susie?” 

“I think she left her bag in the car,” Scott said.  “C’mon Dodger, let’s get on.”  

Abby walked back to the SUV and stopped. She smiled as she spied on Susie and Marco, holding hands and whispering to each other, heads bent closer.  Abby quietly moved away as Marco bent down to place a soft kiss on Susie’s lips.  

Frank waited for Abby as Susie came around the side of the car.  “You girls are always late,” he mumbled. He grunted as Abby elbowed him. “What?” 

“Leave Susie out of this. She just needed a moment,” she whispered. She pulled out her phone.  

Abby: You could always find work out in California  Marco: Why would I do that  Abby: Because a certain blonde may love it  Marco: I don’t know what you are talking about  Abby: Ok fine. Just know, Frank is looking for someone to run security for the family. This could be the opportunity you’re looking for  Marco: Really?  Abby: Call him.   Marco: I’ll do it tomorrow.  Thanks sis. 

Returning to the team and relative normalcy helped the Adlers get back into normal. Frank thought it was a brilliant idea to have Marco be the head of security for the family. He moved Marco into the guest house on his property and Marco took over interviewing and hiring security to protect the family.  

Frank had a good couple of weeks, the Dodgers on a run at the moment.  Mary was thriving with camp, Abby found time to work at USC and attend to her duties with the Dodgers and Scott had found a job that allowed him to take care of Mary and work from home.  He and Abby shared an office, which Abby loved as Scott was rapidly becoming her best friend.  

Yes, everything was going great.  

Unknown: enjoy it while it last  Frank: Who is this?  Unknown: a nightmare 

NEXT

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[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Elephant's Memory: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there is any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

Moments later, Spencer walks out of the conference room and storms out of the station, not looking your way once.

Your heart breaks a little for him.

"He was out of line, and I'm sorry," JJ says. "We want to release the mpeg from Owen's computer to the media."

"He left it because he wants us to know why he's doing this. By releasing it, it could temporarily dissipate his urge to kill and buy us some time," Hotch says.

"Time for what?" the sheriff asks.

"Time to figure out a way to bring him in peacefully. Jordan's innocent, and Owen wants to die, and if you choose to go knocking on doors, I think it's gonna get her killed."

"After the funerals tomorrow, I won't have a choice. Until then, you do what you think is best to find him and bring him in," the sheriff says.

"Thank you."

Two hours pass before Spencer and Derek come back from Owen's house. Spencer looks for you, and he feels guilty and sad when he sees how sad you look. He doesn't mean to treat you this way, and he knows he needs to apologize to you.

"Owen's mother's death left him with severe issues of abandonment. If we can get Jordan away from him, we'll save her and take away his reason to live," Spencer says.

"He'll take his own life."

"It's the only way we can save Jordan. Question is, how can we help her leave him?"

"He's kept Jordan in the dark. She doesn't know about the murders. If we tell her, that will make her want to leave. We can get her to turn herself in."

"Even if we could talk to her, the only person she trusts is Owen."

"There's one other person, and she might be able to get a message to Jordan," Emily says.

When you, Hotch, and Spencer were talking to Ike, Emily and JJ were also at the school to talk to Jordan's friends. Jordan's closest friend is Eileen, and Emily seems to think Jordan will listen to her. The only way to contact Jordan is through Eileen's messaging app inside her own home.

That's where you go next.

"Jordan doesn't know what Owen's done. She has no idea of the danger she's in," JJ says to Eileen who is on the fence about helping.

"Owen loves her. He would never hurt her."

"If the police find them and there's no way out, he will. We've seen it before. Even if he doesn't, she'll get caught in the crossfire," Emily says.

"We're trying to save her. You are the only person she'll listen to. We want to send a text explaining the reality of the situation. If you want to protect her and be her friend, this is your last chance."

Eileen sighs and opens her app on her computer. She begins typing a message, but she doesn't send it yet.

Jordan, there are some people here with me who want to talk to you. Listen to what they have to say. They are with the FBI.

"You're doing the right thing."

"It don't feel right," Eileen sighs and presses send.

She gets up, and you take her place at the computer so you can talk to her instead.

"Send her the news coverage," Hotch says. "Tell her to look at the pictures. Tell her we know Owen didn't tell her what he did."

You do as he tells you to, and you send her the videos and the articles relating to the topic.

It's a lie! You are liars!

"Send the mpeg. Tell her, when the police come for you, Owen will kill you and kill himself."

You do that again, but it doesn't seem to work.

You lie. Owen loves me.

She immediately logs off, and you look at Hotch for instruction.

"She logged off. Now what?"

"We've planted the seed. Now we wait."

It doesn't take long to hear back from Jordan, and you straighten up when you see she's logged back on.

You were right. What should I do?

Where are you?

If I tell you, you'll hurt him.

"She's not going to give it up," you sigh.

Can you get away?

I can try.

She logs back off, and ten minutes later, she logs back on.

You turned her against me.

"This isn't Jordan," you gasp.

"Somebody please tell me we didn't just get Jordan killed," Emily whispers.

If Jordan did get away, the place she'll probably go to is the police station. Everyone heads back over there in hopes Jordan will show up without Owen so you can keep her safe. Like you suspected, Jordan shows up ten minutes later, clearly scared about all of this.

"I got to the car while Owen was digging," she says. Your team brings her to an empty conference room and some water. "He didn't see me until he heard me start the truck. He tried to stop me, but I kept driving."

"We need to know where he is."

"You're going to hurt him," she cries.

"We don't want to hurt Owen, but we think Owen might hurt himself or someone else if we don't get to him really soon."

"He's at Willows Ranch," she sighs.

You, JJ and Emily stay behind while the rest of the team heads to the ranch. You don't think Owen is there which is why you stayed behind. Emily and JJ stay behind because of Jordan, but you don't tell them that Owen might show up here. If he does, you're going to be prepared for him to rescue Jordan.

You're pacing the entire conference room when you see Spencer come back without his FBI vest on. You leave the conference room to join him, but he doesn't seem too happy.

"They think he's going to his mother's grave."

"Isn't he?"

"He was gone when we got to the ranch." He approaches Jordan with a picture of a necklace. "I want to save his life, but I need to ask you a question. Did he give you this necklace?"

"I left it at the ranch."

"He's coming here."

"Call Hotch, tell him, and don't let her out of this room," Emily says to JJ.

You, Emily, and Spencer walk outside of the police station, but Owen isn't here.

"What makes you think he'll come here?"

"It's what I would do."

Just then, Owen comes around the corner with his assault rifle in his hand. Spencer unhooks his gun from his holster and hands it to Emily so that he's unarmed and without a vest.

"Cover me."

"What? No, Spencer!" you gasp.

"Do not shoot," he says and walks to the street.

"No! Spencer!" you cry and lunge for him, but Emily holds you back. "No, let me go! Spencer, no!"

You're crying at his point, but even through the tears, you watch with fearful eyes. Owen is unstable, and he will kill Spencer if given the chance.

"Owen, I don't have a gun. My name is Spencer, I'm with the FBI, and I'm here to help you."

"Yeah? I need you to stay back!"

The rest of the team arrives in a screech of tires, but when they see Spencer putting his life on the line, they stay back. They all get out and use the car doors as barricades, and they point their guns at Owen from a distance.

"Spencer, please don't do this," you cry and struggle against Emily's grasp.

"I know the only reason you joined the team was for your father. I know that he blamed you for what happened," Spencer tries to talk to him.

"Stay back! Right where you are!" Owen yells.

"I also know the only reason you killed Rod and Kyle was to protect Jordan. I know the harder you tried, the worse it got, and it felt like everybody just stood there watching you suffer, and not a single person even tried to help."

"They didn't. They didn't," Owen whimpers.

"I know you want to escape and forget. Believe me when I say I know exactly how that feels. You know what, though? You don't have to die."

"No, I'm already dead."

"No, you're not dead. If you die, you're gonna leave Jordan just like your mother left you. I know you don't want that. Do you?"

"Okay. You bring her to me, alright? You bring her outside."

"I can't bring her outside, Owen, but if you put the gun down, I swear to God, I'll take you to her. I promise nobody will hurt you. You'll say good-bye to her, and you'll give her the necklace. So, what do you say? Let's put the gun down. Let's go inside."

Owen just loves and cares for Owen, so he does what Spencer says. He drops the gun, and Spencer moves in on him. He still has his handcuffs, so he slaps those on Owen's wrists. When everyone knows Owen is no threat, your team moves in on him.

You yank yourself away from Emily's grasp and run over to Spencer. The first thing you want to do is hug him, but you resist that urge. You wipe your tears and push Spencer in his chest.

"How dare you do that! Never do that again!" you cry. "This is the second time when I thought I was going to lose you. Don't you ever do that again to me."

Spencer pulls you in for a hug, and you cry in his chest.

"I felt his pain, Y/N. The same thing happened to me in high school."

You pull away from him and wipe your eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I was in the library when Harper Hillman came up to me. She tells me that Alexa Lisben wants to meet me behind the field house. Alexa's easily the prettiest girl in school. She was there when I arrived... So was the entire football team. They stripped me naked and tied me to a goal post. So many kids were there, you know, just watching."

"Nobody tried to stop them?" you ask, your heart breaking even more.

"I begged them to, but they just watched. Finally, they got bored and left. It was, like, midnight when I finally got home. My mom didn't... Mom was having one of her episodes, so she didn't even realize I was late."

"You never told her what happened?"

"I never told anybody. I thought it was one of those things that I thought if I didn't talk about it, I'd just forget. I remember it like it was yesterday," he whispers.

"I'm sorry," you sigh sadly.

"Owen just wants to forget, and I know what that's like. I knew I'd be able to talk him down."

You pull Spencer in for another hug, but this time, you don't let him go.

Hotch wants so badly to yell at Spencer for what he did, but he waits until everyone is on the plane ride home. Everyone is either asleep or has headphones in, so Hotch takes this opportunity to talk to Spencer. You're sitting next to him with your head on his shoulder, as if you'd leave him after what he did.

"You knowingly jeopardized your life and the lives of others," Hotch says. "I should fire you. You're the smartest kid in the room, but you're not the only one in that room. You pull something like this again, you will be. Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir. It won't happen again."

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that that would have been the second time a kid died in front of me," he sighs.

You knew Jack and Lindsey had something to do with Spencer's behavior today.

"You're keeping score, just like Owen."

"It was my turn to save one."

"It doesn't work like that."

"It should."

"I know it's painful when the person you identify with is the bad guy," Hotch sighs.

"What does that make me?"

"Good at the job."

Hotch gets up and leaves, and Spencer takes out an AA chip that signifies one year of sobriety. You don't want to pressure Spencer into telling you what that is or even bring it up, so you approach the subject delicately.

"What's that?" you whisper.

"A reminder," he says after a pause.

"A reminder for what?"

"How much I love you."

You grab his hand and intertwine your fingers with his. He kisses the top of your head, and that's how you two stay for the rest of the plane ride.

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered." - Tom Stoppard

x

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[wormstacheangel]

a late birthday boy fic

His birthday wasn’t a surprise to anyone he knew and loved but it was something they all decided was worth celebrating. Everything was celebrated now that peace fell upon their kingdom—Maybe not fell. Fought with blood, sweat, and tears is more like it but potatoes. Tomatoes. 

They made sure to get together for any big or small event. Dean’s birthday was one of those big events.

Growing old was never a problem for him. He never thought he would live long enough to grow old anyways so he never thought of a future and whenever he did, hellfire was always waiting for him. This time though, this time it was different. 

With Jack blessing him with great health and lower cholesterol every chance he gets—which is all the time considering they live together—Dean was starting to go gray. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he would be brushing his beard and see gray little hairs tangled up in there. It always pulled at his heartstrings just a little. 

Instead of seeing a 26-year-old kid with a death wish, he can look in the mirror and see a 44-year-old man with an exciting plan to go grocery shopping tomorrow at Costco. Best of all, when he looked in the mirror he didn’t see John. 

Once upon a time, he didn’t see anything else but John, and maybe a few times that's exactly who he was but now he saw only himself. He knew, now that Chuck was finally gone, that he couldn’t let grief drown him. This time he was going to grieve alongside his family and not let everything come out in a fit of rage.

It wasn’t fair for them. 

He just wished he figured that out sooner. 

“Happy birthday, Dean!” Jack barged into the room holding a stack of partially burnt pancakes and a candle on top. His pajamas were covered in pancake batter and his hair looked like he raked butter into it but he was still smiling from ear to ear. “I made chocolate chip!”

“I knew I smelt something burning.” Dean joked as he sat up in bed and took the stack of pancakes. “Do I make a wish now or should I save it for the birthday cake?”

“You can make all the wishes you want!” Jack took his phone out and was probably recording it for the family chat. “It’s your birthday!”

“Okay well, I wish-.” 

“No! You can’t say it out loud!”

Dean chuckled and then blew out the candle. “There! Secret wish number one has been made.”

Jack put the phone down and went to give Dean an awkward side hug. “I hope it comes true.”

“Me too, kid. Me too.”

The house soon started to fill up with people and decorations. 

“Any excuse to use your new grill?” Sam patted his shoulder and pulled him into a hug. “Happy birthday, Dean.”

Dean hugged back just as strongly before pulling back to look at his new cut. “Eileen is right, this was the best present ever.”

“Shut up.” Sam chuckled, running his hand awkwardly through his new short hair. “I’m gonna let it grow out again.”

“Just shave it all off next time and save us all the trouble.” Dean reached up to pat his head but Sam pushed his hand away with an embarrassed groan and roll of the eyes. “Whatever, bitch. Where’s my real gift? You said it was a huge surprise.”

“Stop using air quotes like that. And yeah Eileen has it.”

“Well bring her over!”

Sam walked away in search of his wife while Dean looked around to see his growing family having a fun time. He loved having his busy family all in one place and doing normal, not hunting things for a while. Everyone was safe and here. 

Well, almost everyone but he won’t think about that right now.

Eileen walked over, pulling Sam around with a big grin. Everyone started to gather in close and Dean raised a brow at them. “I don’t see any gift bags.”

“Let me fix that.” Sam pulled a big bow from behind him and placed it on Eileen’s stomach. 

“Ta-da!” Eileen did the spirit hands. “You’re gonna be an uncle!”

An uncle. “Me?” Dean felt his throat tighten and his vision blur as the crowd around them roared in excitement. “A baby?”

Sam nodded and Eileen reached over to pull Dean into a tight hug. Whispering to him, “It’s okay. You can be happy.”

Dean hugged her back. Kissing her hair as he let the tears fall because she was right. Fear was the first thing that took over him. He should feel happy.

“Couldn’t be any happier.”

As the day became night and people started to go their separate ways, Dean couldn’t help but think about his age again. He’s 44. How or when that happened he couldn’t tell you but he knew it was only possible because of the one person he kept wishing for. 

It was all bittersweet. Another year flew by without getting his angel back and yet he was the happiest he’s been in such a long time.

“Wish you were here.” Dean whispered out to the moon. 

“Dean!” Claire called out from the second-floor guestroom. “We’re gonna start the movie! Come on!”

Dean yelled back that he was coming and looked back at the moon one final time. 

“Hm.” He walked back inside with a sigh. “Who knows, maybe this year my wish will come true.”

He closed the backyard door and headed upstairs. Unaware of a falling star just a few miles away.

[soporificsponge]

my skin is breaking out and it's ruining my life

Okay, I almost forgot but I have therapy tomorrow so here are some things that I can't forget to talk about (we'll probably get through like one or two of these things):

I'm probably going to go visit my brother at the high school I went to sometime soon and for some reason the thought of doing so makes me insanely anxious. I didn't realize that I would grow out of my high school self so quickly. I've cycled through so many phases since leaving high school that I feel like going back would be like trying to stuff myself into a too small lathe collet and then tightening it all the way. There's now way senior year me could comprehend the me that has blacked out drunk, or the me that has a tattoo, or the me that has had a number of sexually confusing experiences, or the me that is medicated. I'm better now, and for some reason deeply ashamed that I didn't "do it right" in high school (but why do I feel like I did everything wrong? Why do I feel so guilty? I really don't know at all). In one of my high school journals I wrote down: "Journaling is pointless, because I hope that I'll think my sixteen year old self is a bit of an idiot by the time I come back and read what I've written. I hope I find myself stupid because that will mean I got better. I really want to believe that in the future I am so loved that I am no longer jaded and that I can come back and scoff at my words ... I want to be so happy that I can't even imagine how shallow and vapid my sixteen year old self was." It's a privilege to grow in this way, I guess. It's true that I look back on that journal and am amazed at how myopic my world view was. I'm glad for that, but I didn't realize that I would feel shame when reflecting on my past experiences. The frustrating part of it is that I can't seem to place where this shame comes from--I keep searching for something specific, some example of of not "doing it right." Do I feel guilty that I was a bad robotics team captain? That seems silly (also I feel pretty strongly that I tried my best). Do I feel guilty that I was a bad student and that I disrespected my teachers? I'm fairly certain that as a student I was at least mediocre (and decently earnest ...). Do I feel like I mistreated underclassmen? (I don't think so ...?). I think I'm just embarrassed of my past self (or whatever), but I don't really get why. Anyways, I'm worried. And I want to feel excited instead of worried, lol.

I suck at math. Why is math so hard right now? Why is it making me feel like shit?

My brother, more generally.

Disco, I suppose. Though to be honest I can't imagine wanting to talk about her.

Sarah, and why she's stressing me the hell out. I know that Sarah doesn't have control, but I find it difficult to be patient.

I have a crush! I tried quite hard not to have a crush on this person/individual/extremelyattractiveandperhapsinappropriatecharacterofinterest, but unfortunately I have fallen prey to their wily charms. Eileen thinks I only have crushes on people that are sort of unattainable because I'm scared of rejection (which seems like a pretty cringe analysis to me bro) but I think that's probably a little bit true. I truly do not like people that like me lol, like ever. Okay so a little bit about my crush: I'm like 90% sure he's 21 (see I'm literally crazy I'm not even close enough to him to know his age). Also, as I type this out I feel like I sound more and more crazy and more and more stupid and more and more just ridiculous--let's just pretend that my self awareness fixes this issue.

Tangent from my description of my crush but I just opened my old journal because there was a way that I described him a couple months ago (okay, so many it's not a new crush but I basically avoided thinking about it, very unsuccessfully, for like a few months, so at least I know that I'm probably a hopeless case) but hahaha, here's what my entry says: "I feel like I shouldn't have my journal entries just be long winded descriptions of people I'm attracted to, so I'm not going to do that today. But I want to. It's so fun to write about what you find attractive. I love the quiet desperation that is having a diary about your crush while everything else is just going to shit, which is why I totally love Phoebe Bridgers."

Anyways, my crush is maybe 5'10"? But he seems taller. He wears these stupid big-ass round glasses (fuck) and has messy hair (fuck) and he's like a super genius (fuck fuck fuck). He has a laugh that's somehow easy and stilted at the same time. I've never heard something so awkward sound so natural. Oh also, his voice is really really great. Like really nice. He has a really springy walk. He can drive a U-Haul (fuck). Cool taste in music (obviously). I guess more holistically, he's kind and patient (fuck). I'm such a fucking ditz around him. Why why why why why why ...........

[myaimistrue]

sleep, pretty darling, do not cry (also available on ao3 here)

Dean wakes up screaming. 

He’d had a soul on the rack, flayed open before him. Everything was heavy with that rich-red smell of spilled guts and torture, the sick scent of Hell, and his favorite knife was in his hands. Now, he looks down at them, the way they’re shaking, and wonders how he doesn’t see blood stains.

Dean gets up, goes to the bathroom, splashes some cold water on his face. His breathing is starting to even out a little, and he white knuckles the edge of the sink as he tries to get himself together. He hasn’t had a nightmare about Hell in a while, but there was a time when he did this every single night. He’s good at this. He knows how to handle it. 

Eventually, he stumbles back to bed and flops down on it, the springs of the old mattress creaking beneath him. He closes his eyes, and he’s in the dream again, seeing the begging, twisted soul. And Dean tries not to feel it, god help him, he tries not to feel it, but like so many of his dreams of Hell, there’s a sense of homecoming. The weight of the knife felt so natural in his hands. Carving into the soul was where he belonged.

So he’s probably not falling asleep again tonight. Dean’s glad that Sam isn’t here, at least. He’s on a hunt with Eileen—because they’re serious enough that they hunt together more often than not these days—so Dean doesn’t have to worry about staying quiet to let him sleep. The hunt is finally over, too, after a slog of a week and four victims, so it’s not like he has anything to do tomorrow but drive home. He could turn on the television and watch infomercials until his brain plays static. He could read the old copy of Cat’s Cradle he’s got stuffed in the bottom of his duffle. He could jack off, even, if he could somehow get it up with Hell still dancing behind his eyes. 

Dean checks the time on his phone, and it’s almost two. He’s got a text from Cas, sent sometime after Dean fell asleep earlier. It’s a string of incoherent emojis, and Dean feels himself smiling. It feels strange on his face.

He doesn’t think very much before he clicks the call button. Cas doesn’t sleep, so it’s not like Dean’ll be disturbing him. He just. He just wants to hear Cas’s voice. He just wants to be reminded that there are good things in the world, things beyond this shitty motel and the mess in Dean’s head.

Cas answers on the third ring, and his rasping voice locks something loose into place in Dean’s chest. “Hello?”

“Hey, Cas.” Dean knows how he sounds, wrecked with exhaustion and emotion, and he knows it’ll make Cas worry. But he can’t bring himself to cover it. He doesn’t think he can.

“Dean? Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I just…” Dean stares up at the ceiling and sees water stains in the shadows. “I couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d call, if you weren’t busy.”

“I’m watching an episode of something called Storage Wars.” Dean smiles again at the perplexed tone of his voice. “It’s very strange.”

“Yeah, it’s crap tv,” Dean says. He doesn’t even have anything to say, is the thing. He just called Cas because he misses him, because he wants to see him, because he’s got this sick fucking thing where he wants to crawl inside of Cas and never leave him. Because he loves him. “How’s, uh. How’s the kid?”

“He’s good.” Dean can hear the smile in his voice, the smile that’s always there when Cas talks about Jack. It makes Dean’s heart ache. “He’s asleep. Though he did convince me to let him stay up late and watch a movie.”

“Oh yeah?” It doesn’t surprise Dean; Cas is a total pushover when it comes to Jack. “What movie?”

“The Little Mermaid. It was good, and Jack loved the songs. He was still humming one of them when he went to bed.”

Dean pictures it: Cas and Jack side by side in the Dean Cave, passing popcorn back and forth and intently watching Ariel swim around on the screen. He pictures them, cozy and happy and far from danger, and hot tears well up in his eyes. He wants to go home so badly. He wants there to be someone beside him in this bed. He doesn’t want to be alone.

“Sounds fun,” Dean says after a pause that he knows was too long, his voice cracking under the pressure of not breaking down crying like a child. 

“It was,” Cas says haltingly. “Dean, are you okay? The hunt’s finished, right? I know it was difficult.”

“Yeah, it’s finished. I’ll head back tomorrow.” A sliver of light is coming in through the motel room curtains, the yellow-orange beam of a streetlight right across Dean’s face. He drops his forearm across his eyes to block it out, to cover his face and hope that can hold him together. “Cas, I don’t—” He doesn’t say more. He can’t say more, not if he wants to make it out of this conversation alive.

“It’s alright, Dean.” And Cas’s voice is so gentle. “Whatever it is, it’s alright.”

Again, he sees rack. Screaming, burning souls, all of them writhing under Dean’s hand. “I don’t know why you saved me.” It comes out broken, shattered, and Dean barely manages to keep his breaths steady. “I’m fucking—I’m bad, man. All I do is hurt people, you and Jack and Sam, and—and I don’t know how to stop it. I tortured souls and liked it, Cas. Something’s wrong with me, and I don’t know why—”

And then he’s crying, these sharp, stabbing wounded animals sobs, and Cas is on the other end of the phone, murmuring things like It’s okay and I’m here and you’re alright. Dean thinks he’s coming apart, that he’s in pieces, but with just his voice, Cas keeps him together. 

Eventually, it subsides, like it always does. Dean sort of wants to hang up the phone and get so wildly drunk he forgets this ever happened, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t, and then Cas starts talking again.

“I saved you because you are good,” he says. He sounds steady. Sure. “In Hell, even in all of that carnage and ruin, your soul was shining. And I knew then, like I know now, that you are good, inherently. You are kind, and loving, and you are good, Dean Winchester. I saved you then, and I’ve saved you since, and I will save you until I can’t anymore. Because you deserve it. Because you always deserve to be saved.”

Dean squeezes his eyes shut. It’s beautiful, what Cas is saying, almost incomprehensibly so, and it hurts. It hurts to hear something lovely like that. “My soul was shining?” he asks before he can stop himself, and it comes out kind of small. Like a kid, almost.

“Yes,” Cas says, and again, Dean can hear the smile in his voice. The warm curve of it. “It still does, but it stood out particularly in the pit. It was the brightest thing I’ve ever seen. The most beautiful.”

Maybe it’s the clarity of the middle of the night, the stark vulnerability of their voices connected only by telephone lines. Maybe it’s that Dean doesn’t have the strength to hold it in anymore. Or maybe it’s that Cas sounds like he’s talking about something he loves—like Dean is something he loves. Whatever it is, things suddenly seem very simple.

“I love you,” Dean says. It comes out of his mouth easily, like the words have just been waiting for him to say them, and on the other end of the phone, Cas takes a sharp breath. Dean forges on anyway. “I don’t know if you—I don’t know. But I do. I love you.”

“You love me?” Cas is the one that sounds breathless now.

“Yeah. I do.” Dean looks at that light peeking in through the curtains and hopes desperately that this is going to be okay. That maybe, maybe this could work, that maybe Cas—

“I love you too,” Cas says, voice breaking on the words, and Dean’s heart sprouts wings and starts fluttering around in his chest. “Oh, Dean. I love you. I love you too.”

They both laugh, these tearful, happy sounds, and Dean thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever heard. That maybe this is the best thing he’s ever done. 

“Cas, man, I really—I really wanna kiss you,” he says. “I wish I was there.”

“Me too. But you’ll be home tomorrow, and then we can…” Cas laughs again. Dean wants to hear him laugh like this for the rest of his life. “Then we can do everything. Anything. Whatever you want.”

“Okay,” Dean says, and his flying heart is banging against his rib cage. “Okay. Well, uh, I’ve got a few ideas, hotshot.”

“Good. I’m looking forward to it.”

It lulls for a moment, but it’s not weird—it never is with Cas. In the quiet, Dean thinks again of the nightmare, of Hell scraping around under his skin. He feels it all, still, but he feels Cas, too. And Cas loves him. Despite it all, Cas loves him.

“If it’s alright, I…” Cas trails off, and Dean can just see the way he’s furrowing his brow. “I’ll stay on the line until you fall asleep. If you’re okay with it.”

“Yeah?” The heavy fog of sleep would be less intimidating with Cas looking out for him, Dean knows it. “You wanna do that?”

“Of course,” Cas says like that would be anybody’s answer, like anyone would be lucky to listen to Dean’s unsteady breathing.

“Then yeah. I mean, no promises that I’ll actually fall asleep, but if you don’t mind, it’d be…” Dean feels himself flush a little, as if this is somehow more embarrassing or vulnerable than anything else that’s happened tonight. “It’d be nice.”

“Okay.” Cas sounds pleased, the rumble of his voice warm and golden. “Well, um. Goodnight, Dean.”

“Yeah. Night, Cas.” He turns on his side, tries to get comfortable. And then, face half-buried in his pillow, he adds, “I, uh. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Cas says. “Sleep well, Dean. I’ll be right here.”

Dean closes his eyes. He listens to Cas breathing, imagines how it would feel to hear him breathing next to him in this bed, how it would feel to kiss him in this kind of darkness. He thinks of Cas in Hell, seeing Dean at the worst he’s ever been and lifting him up anyway. Beautiful, Cas might have said. You’re safe now.

He’s not sure how much he actually sleeps. He drifts in and out, but every time he comes back to awareness, Cas is still on the phone. And when it’s finally light out and he’s awake for good, Dean opens the curtains up all the way and lets the early morning sunshine touch his face.

“I’m coming home, Cas,” Dean tells him.

“Good,” Cas says softly. Dean’s going to kiss him today. Dean’s going to do right by him. “We’ll be here.”

[sortasirius]

“Unity” and the Broken Boys

BOY Y’ALL BETTER SIT DOWN BECAUSE THIS IS AS LONG AS CAN BE AND I TOOK OFF WORK TOMORROW SO I’VE GOT TIME

This is....one of the best episodes in the show.  Yeah, in all 325 of them, this is hands down one of the best.

First of all, stan Amara for clear skin.

That silent treatment babey, right out the gate with the Angst.  Tbh Dean deserves it.

“Like I said, killing Amara, Jack dying...that’s the only way.”

“The only way.  Our one shot.  Our Last chance.  You ever get tired of saying stuff like that?”

“We don’t have to like it, alright?  But you and me, we gotta get it done.”

Amara is such a welcome energy in this whole episode.  She’s warm and understanding, whip-smart and probably more powerful than Chuck.  I love her.

Sam is a wonderful, understanding, loving dad.  I love him eternally.  He loves Jack so much, he’s trying so desperately to do what’s right for Jack but also what’s right for the world.  Jack made this choice, but he can’t live with it.  How do you support your child when their life is at stake?

“Come on man.  Blindly following orders, lying to Amara, sending her to her death. Does any of this feel right to you??”

“It doesn’t matter how we feel!  You know what?  Stay.  Stay.  Someone has to be the grown up here.”

“Yeah well someone has to keep fighting for Jack!”

“He knows what he signed up for!”

“Last I checked, we don’t give up on family.”

“Jack’s not family.”

Y’all should have heard the noise I made.  What a fucking line.

“I know how you feel about the kid, I care for him too, I do, but he’s not like you.  He’s not like Cas.  He’s just not.”

“I’m- I’m ready.”

You can see the regret, the heartbreak in Dean’s eyes.  You can see how he wants to take those words back the moment he said them, and for Jack to hear them?  It’s unthinkable.

Sam and Cas I’m just so fucking emo dude.

“Sam, you stayed behind to find another way huh?  I woulda done the same.”

AMARA

First of all, LOVE this structure.

Amara and Chuck have such a fascinating dynamic.  Rob and Emily do a great job (as they have all along) by clearly being siblings but...heightened.  You can just tell they both exude power, and the other is the only one they consider an equal.

“You and Dean had that whole weird...thing.”

“That wasn’t you writing?”

“Ugh, not that part.  Gross.”

What I took away from this is what I’ve suspected all along.  They HAVE free will, just not total free will.  Dean and Amara’s connection wasn’t Chuck, there are parts of the story he didn’t write.  Obviously, this comes into play later. 

I also have a hunch that Chuck doesn’t write romance.  I also think that in particular will come into play.

“Balance.  Something we’ve never tried before.  Creation and destruction, light and dark, brother and sister united again, but on behalf of one world, this world.  True balance.  The way it was always meant to be.  But you can’t.  You only care about your pleasure, your story.  Well, I guess that makes you the villain.”

“Villains get all the best lines.”

We see again and again this season, Chuck is irredeemable.  He doesn’t care about the angels, he doesn’t care about the world, he doesn’t care about anything.  He is a petulant toddler who has broken his toys. And when he realizes he’s trapped, he gets angry, he shouts and screams, completely at odds with Amara’s peace.

“You can’t hold me here forever.”

“I can hold you long enough.”

DEAN

Pain is the name of the game in this section homies.  Because not only are we dealing with Dean’s pain, we’re also dealing with Jack’s.  Jack says he understands why Cas and Sam mean more to Dean, but Dean clearly doesn’t, he, once again, wants to say more, but is stopped, still stopped by his fear: his fear of not beating Chuck.

Alright guys, gals, and non-binary pals.  Let’s talk about Adam and Seraphina.

Adam.  The first man.  And Seraphina.  The angel.

“My old lady.  She’s the only one who could put up with me all these years.”

Yeah okay.  Volume at 100 I get it lmao.

But also: Adam wants God dead not because he and Eve were kicked out of the Garden, but because he went after their sons.  The theme of protecting the children strikes again.

“Killing God is your plan?”

“Yeah, Billie’s been giving us a hand but Sera and me, this is our baby.”

This juxtaposed directly with Dean’s own pain at what he has to do to kill Chuck, to gain his free will: the cost of his child.

Adam’s rib.

And who else might get his ribs hurt, only to be likely healed by an angel?

It’s fine, that’s fine.  I’m fine with that.

“Jack, I don’t know how to explain it but, when I found out about Chuck, it’s like I wasn’t alive.  Not really.  You know like my whole life I’ve never been free, but like really free.  But now?  Now me and Sam, we got a shot at living a life, without all this crap on our backs.  And that’s, that’s because of you.  So, I want to say, I need to say...thank you, Jack.  Thank you.”

I’m gonna have to do a separate post about just Dean in this episode, because there is so fucking much to talk about, but there are a couple of things that I think are important:  Dean realizes how wrong he was, to say what he said.  He knows that it’s not true, this is the way he’s always coped with loss, by pushing the person to be lost away, but for Jack to hear it?  He can’t stand for that.

And:

Dean has finally pushed through the barrier.  He won’t be quiet in the face of his doubts anymore.  This is a breakthrough for him, and, of course, there are more to come.

SAM

Sam and Cas, my chaos duo.

The box, the inscription, the door.

Death’s library, filled with dead reapers.

And there it is.  The Empty.

It tells Sam the plan, the plan for Billie to take God’s place.  For everything to go back to the way it’s “supposed to be.”

This has always been the game, since season 13.  This is the longest of long games.

Sam fuckin Winchester, lying his way out of a confrontation with the Empty like the legend that he is.

He comes back with a new purpose: to stop Billie’s plan, and here’s where we get to the heart of the episode and maybe the heart of the season.

“You hear that?  Dean, brought to the edge of doubt.  His sense of duty, his rage winning out in the end.  And poor Sam, always gotta know everything.  Can’t leave well enough alone.  This is my ending, my real ending.”

The gun comes out, pointed at Sam.

Hmm...what did I say during 15x05?  Oh yeah, this.

And:

Dean would never survive killing Sam, but he’s willing to do anything, anything to earn his freedom.  His ending, where one brother kills the other and then kill himself.

Why, you might ask, did Sam not mention that the angels would be sent back to Heaven, why does he not mention Cas?  I’ll tell you why, or rather, Becky will.

Plus, Dean looks back at Cas IMMEDIATELY when Sam says that, when he mentions Eileen, and THAT’S the first time he hesitates.  He can’t lose Cas.  But at the same time, he’s willing to do anything to have his freedom.

“Sam we don’t have a choice, Jack’s about to blow!”

“We always have a choice!”

You know me, just sitting here thinking about choice, the ability to choose, and how that translates to their free will.

And Sam...I don’t think there will ever be characters I love as much as these.

“I don’t care if Billie gets what she wants!  I don’t man, I’d trade it all, I’d trade em all for Chuck.  In a heartbeat!”

“What about me?”

“You’d trade me?”

“Chuck has to die.  He has to!  Otherwise he’ll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can’t live like that man, I can’t live like that, I won’t!”

“I know you feel like that right now, okay? I know you do, but you gotta trust me.  My entire life, you’ve protected me.  From Dad, from Lucifer, from everything.  I didn’t always like it, you know?  But it’s the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on.  It’s the only thing I’ve ever known that was true.  So please, put the gun away.  Just put it away.  We’ll figure it out, Dean, we’ll find another way, you and me.  We always do.”

Okay I feel like this is going to be one of those scenes that I cry watching for years to come.  Because fuck.  After fifteen years they finally admit that not only did Dean protect Sam from Lucifer, but he protected him from John.  John.  On a par with Lucifer.

Dean and Sam have, for so many years, sacrificed themselves for the other.  Dean’s demon deal, Sam and the trials, every season they have fought to see who can die the quickest for the other.  But this?  This is them fighting to stop the violence, to stop from killing the big bad.  This is them growing, in our eyes, in real time.  Sam has always been able to get through to Dean when no one else had a prayer, but for Dean to listen, for Dean to take his words to heart, to stop the hunt for Sam, for their family, that’s how you know they do have free will.

(Btw Chuck’s eye effect when he dusted Amara was sick as fuck but I’m emo for my boys so.)

Chuck knows it’s a loss, he knows that his story has, once again, been thwarted by the boys making their own choices.  And he’s pissed, but in his anger, we get a bomb dropped on us.

“Spare me your contempt Castiel, the self-hating angel of Thursday.  You know what every other version of you did after “gripping him tight and raising him from perdition”?  They did what they were told.  But not you.  Not the one off the line with a crack in his chassis.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

Also, just worth bringing up this one as well:

Every Castiel pulled Dean out of Hell.  Every one told him the same thing.  And yet, immediately, with this Cas and this Dean, something was different.  Because what has everyone seen about Cas, from the moment he met Dean?

And there’s our endgame people.  Laid out on the line.

But we ain’t done yet, fam.

We’ve talked about the handprint, but you know:

So there you have it, our prep into the “monumental” 15x18.  I have spec on that, of course, but I think a novel is long enough for this.

What to take away: Dean’s rage was always Chuck’s plan, they do have free will, their love for each other, for their family, is what will stop Chuck’s control, Death is about to come back with a vengeance, Cas’ deal is at play, and, most importantly, Castiel and Dean Winchester are a blind spot for Chuck, something he has never, not once, controlled.

[amanda-teaches]

Our Christmas Mission ~ 6/9

They know that Santa’s on his way. He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh

Summary: With Sam stationed overseas, he asks his brother, Dean, to help plan a surprise Christmas proposal for his girlfriend, and your best friend, Eileen. With very limited Christmas experience, Dean enlists your help to create some holiday magic for the lovebirds. Will the two of you find a little love of your own along the way?

Pairing: AU Dean x Reader

Square filled: Matching Pajamas for @spnchristmasbingo​

Word Count: 763

Warnings: Some more confused feelings, but in a very soft way.

A/N: I kinda love these two together and I hope you all do. Thank you for sticking with me. Only 3 chapters left! Sam’s coming home. :)

Our Christmas Mission Masterlist

Dean listened intently as you laid out your plan.

“Okay, so we know that Sam and Eileen aren’t the biggest PDA people, right?” You waited for Dean to nod his agreement before continuing. “That’s why the proposal needs to be something simple and meaningful, like my memories of my parents are. We need to find something they can use to create their own traditions, their own memories.”

Dean nodded again, but his eyes showed that he still wasn’t quite keeping up. “I’m following you, but…what exactly does that mean? What can be a meaningful tradition for them?”

“Family. You’re Sam’s family and I’m the closest thing to family Eileen has. The four of us together will make it a proposal they’d love.” You looked back at the movie screen, frozen on a picture of Scott Calvin in his SC pajamas. “What about pajamas? We could get matching ones for all of us on Christmas Eve and have Sam surprise her. They could even carry it on with their kids, turn it into their own little tradition.”

Dean considered it for a second before grinning. “Sammy’s gonna love it.”

“Yes!” you cried, lowering your voice when you heard Eileen hang up the phone in the other room. You rushed to whisper to Dean. “We’ll hit the mall tomorrow to find the perfect ones.”

He nodded and scooted back just as Eileen reentered the room and sat between you. As the movie started back up, you smiled, feeling just a little more in control, like you and Dean finally had something solid after all this time.

The next day, when you met him in the mall, your plan felt even better than it had the night before. It didn’t take long at all to find matching pajamas for all of you, which you saw as a sign this was the right direction. Dean let you pick the design, so you picked the little reindeer ones he’d thought were ridiculous but you knew he secretly found hilarious.

He carried the bag out while you walked next to him, leaning into his side as you watched the line of kids standing in line to meet Santa. They all looked like they were having the time of their lives, knowing less than a week was left until he came to their houses on his sleigh full of toys. You smiled wistfully at the sight, thinking back to your childhood, and Dean wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close.

“You good?” he asked, and you realized you’d probably been a little bit more on the wistful side of smile.

“Yeah,” you promised. “I’m just excited for Christmas to get here. I can’t wait to see Sam, and Eileen is going to be so surprised.”

Dean squeezed your shoulder. “Yeah, me too. I think I’m even feeling a little Christmas magic.”

You pulled your head back, letting out an exaggerated gasp. “What, you, Dean Winchester, with some Christmas spirit? I’m shocked.”

“Shut up,” he laughed, but he rubbed your shoulder to soften the blow, keeping his arm around you as he led you into the parking lot. When he reached your cars, parked next to each other, you stepped out of his hold, moving to face him.

He stood there quietly for a second, just staring at you under the gently falling snow until he cleared his throat. “Um, maybe you should take this.” He held the bag out towards you. “Eileen will be less suspicious with the idea coming from you.”

“You’re right.” You took the bag, laughing lightly. “She’ll probably think I’m forcing you into it and end up feeling bad for you.”

He winked at you. “Don’t worry, I’ll act extra annoyed by it to throw her off.”

“Sure,” you laughed, this one coming out genuine, easy. You looked over at him again, words coming and dying on your lips, everything you wanted to say not feeling like enough. “I’ll, uh, see you on Christmas Eve?”

He seemed to hesitate, his eyes appearing conflicted, only for a second. “Yeah, Christmas Eve.”

He stepped forward, pulling you into a hug, and you melted into him before you could stop yourself, your head landing on his chest. When he pulled back, he glanced down at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read before stepping back again and giving a little wave as he jumped into his Impala, leaving you standing there alone with the bag, questioning everything you’d just said and done in front of him.

All you wanted to do was melt into him again.

[curlynerd]

What He Wants

Happy gift posting day for @starrynightdeancas gift exchange! My gift recipient is @bipridedean! She requested a Destiel, canon-adjacent fic, so here it is! I hope you like it! <3

Word Count: 2.6K Rating: G Summary: 5 times Dean said "I do" and 1 time he didn’t. Notes: Post canon, fix-it fic, oneshot, love confessions, Destiel wedding

Also read it on AO3!

1.

The first time it happens Sam is the only one to hear it. They’re alone in the bunker, surrounded by months and months of tireless research. But finally, finally, Dean thinks they’ve discovered how to get into the Empty.

Dean wants to push through the night and get a portal up and running as soon as possible. Sam insists they both go to bed, pleading with Dean that he won’t be able to concentrate on the spellwork to maintain it without at least a few hours of sleep.

Dean spends most of the night staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing through his head at a hundred miles an hour. This time tomorrow, he could have Cas back. This time tomorrow he can--Dean is almost afraid to think it, afraid that giving form to what he wants will somehow curse it and stop it from ever coming true. After all, the thing he wanted most before this was for Cas to love him back, and that didn’t exactly end rosy.

Still, as Dean finally closes his eyes, he allows himself a small, private wish. He hopes this will be the last time he falls asleep alone.

The next morning, they’re both expecting some sort of bump in the road, some rare ingredient or some missing incantation that will set them back even longer, keep Dean from seeing Cas again for God knows how long. But fortune is on their side, and Sam executes the spell flawlessly.

Dean is armed to the teeth with every weapon and protection spell they could collect on short notice. His plan for finding Cas and dragging him back home sits clearly at the front of his mind. His heart pounds in his ears, fast but steady and strong.

“You know, if this doesn’t work, you could get stuck there. I might not be able to open a new portal.” Sam looks at the pulsating mass of black that serves as the portal to the Empty. Worry is etched deeply into his forehead. “Do you really want to do this?”

Dean thinks of Cas’ face, the way he had smiled as he said he loved him. He thinks of how he was so close to having the one thing he really wanted. How Cas had wanted the same.

There’s no peace in loneliness.

Dean tightens his grip on his angel blade, his jaw set, his eyes determined. He’s ready to get his angel back. “Yeah. I do.”

2.

The second time it happens, it takes Cas by surprise. It’s been a week since Dean heroically pulled the love of his life from the Empty...and also since Dean lost all remaining courage. He choked. His unspoken response to Cas’ confession is a taut tension wire between them, keeping them inches apart, words suffocating in their tightly sealed mouths, both terrified to say anything and risk breaking something that can’t be mended.

Dean hates himself for it. It’s cowardice is what it is. It’s a lifetime of desperately fighting against the things that make him vulnerable. Against wanting things. Against believing anyone could love him. Even with Cas’ confession still crystal clear in his memories, Dean doubts.

He is deep into those self-deprecating thoughts when he finds Cas in the garage, struggling to figure out how to change a flat tire on his truck from a Youtube video.

“Cas? What’re you doing?”

Cas startles and immediately hunches his shoulders in guilt. He wasn’t expecting to be caught. “Dean.” He looks down at the lug wrench in his hand, and Dean can see the wheels spinning in his head, trying to concoct a cover story before he shrugs and gives up the truth. “I was trying to fix the truck.”

“You need to go somewhere? Cuz I can just drive you.” Dean’s heart pounds, his mouth going dry. Cas wouldn’t need to sneak around for a little errand.

Cas shakes his head and confirms Dean’s fears. “I wanted to have it ready. In case I needed to leave.”

“Leave?” Dean repeats, and his blood goes cold.

Cas deflates a little, resigned and sad. “I assume I’ll need to soon.”

“You can’t leave!” ‘Tell him!’ screams in Dean’s mind, but he can’t. He can’t. What if he’s wrong? What if Cas doesn’t love him like that? What if Cas doesn’t love him at all anymore? What if Dean screwed it up by staying silent and Cas realized he deserves to be with someone who can provide a simple answer to “I love you?” What if--

“I don’t want to,” Cas says softly. The pain is evident in his eyes as they flicker to his truck, like he expects to need to book it out of here at any moment. “But I wasn’t sure if you wanted me here after--” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” he amends.

“Cas, this is your home, same as me and Sam.” Cas doesn’t look so convinced. “C’mon man, you really think we don’t want you around?” Dean leans against the side of Cas’ truck to ground himself. “Cas, I want you here.” ‘I want more than that,’ he thinks, and it would be so easy to say what he really needs to say, but he can’t. He fights viciously with his own self-esteem, ripping at it, begging it to let him say more. “Please don’t leave,” he says, small and helpless, and it’s like moving a mountain to say that much.

Cas’ expression softens into longing. His hand clenches at his side, like he’s fighting the urge to reach out to Dean, but he smiles a soft, incredulous smile. “I can stay? You really mean it?”

Dean swallows thickly. A hundred words crowd his throat, fighting to get out, but his own fears win this round and keep them down. Instead all he can manage is a choked, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

3.

The third time it happens, it takes them both by surprise. They’d gone on a hunt, just the two of them while Sam was visiting Eileen, and everything had gone sideways. What they thought was just a troublemaking demon turned out to be an extremely powerful witch, one with more than enough experience in Enochian magic to put Cas in serious danger. And of course Cas was reckless in his desire to protect Dean, and only managed to avoid getting killed by quick thinking and, to be honest, a helluva lot of luck.

The fight left Cas injured, and Dean pissed. “What the hell were you thinking!” he scolds at the end of a cold, silent drive back to the bunker.

“I did what I needed,” Cas shoots back with a steely glare.

“No, you didn’t need to go rushing in like that!” Dean’s worry leeches out as anger, the fear of losing Cas yet again clouding his reasoning that Dean himself would have died without Cas’ quick action. “You could have gotten a lot more hurt!”

“Why does it even matter to you?” Cas yells back, and it’s the note of hysterical bitterness darkening his words that makes Dean snap and say what he’s been hiding for far too long.

“Because I love you, you stubborn ass!”

The words freeze in the air between them, sharp and strong, wedging themself right where Dean’s anger was just a moment ago.

“You...love me?” Cas asks, his voice small, his eyes big.

And like that, Dean’s fears seem so foolish. Cas loves him. Cas died because just admitting he loves him was the happiest moment of his life. Cas has already done the hardest, scariest part for him. Dean doesn’t even have to fear Cas not feeling the same.

Silently, Dean takes a single step forward. Cas is frozen on the spot, staring at him like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He takes another step, and another, until he’s close enough to reach out and tug Cas into an embrace.

“Of course,” Dean breathes. He holds Cas close, tucking his chin over his shoulder and squeezing tight, like he never wants to let go. He doesn’t ever want to let go. Cas is slower to react, but when his arms finally wind around Dean, he breathes out a soft, sobbing gasp and clings to Dean. Dean turns his head to bury his nose in Cas’ hair. “Of course I do.”

4.

The fourth time it happens, Cas doesn’t even hear it. Cas found out about a nearby crafts fair, and all it took was one particularly soulful look from those big blue eyes of his, and Dean was driving them a full hour and a half away to look at homemade pottery and local honey and overpriced tacky mesh wreaths and pretending that the entire atmosphere of the place wasn’t giving him hives.

Cas is having a blast. Dean is carrying bags and lurking in the shadiest spots he can find away from the summer heat while Cas browses. Cas is having an animated conversation about beekeeping with a honey merchant when Dean ducks into a large tent filled with the kind of flowy, bedazzled, polyester shirts he thinks of as “PTA Chic” because they also happen to have a large fan blowing.

“Lookin’ for something in particular, sugar?” The tent owner saunters over to Dean, her Southern accent thick and her top scandalously low. She’s stunningly pretty, and Dean’s eyes and smile light up out of a lifetime of habit. She responds in kind, dragging her eyes down, then back up Dean’s body. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were lookin’ for more than clothes.”

Dean chuckles and flashes her his best charming, but chagrined smile. He feels a little guilty for leading her on, and he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. “Oh sweetheart, if I were single, I’d gladly take you up on that offer, but I’ve already got my special someone.” Dean nods to the honey booth next door.

Her eyes trail over to where Dean gestured, and for a split second her brow furrows in confusion before she laughs just a little, more incredulous than cruel. “You really want someone like that over me?”

Dean looks over at Cas. And, yeah, Dean gets the question. He’s a grown-ass man wearing cargo shorts, carrying a canvas bag with the most obnoxious sunglasses-wearing beach ball Dean has ever seen, and his hair looks like it's been electrocuted. Dean grins, feeling a rush of fondness for his dorky, criminally unfashionable angel.

“Yeah,” he says softly, without an ounce of hesitation. There’s no one else in the world for him but Cas. “Yeah, I do.”

5.

The fifth time Dean says it, Cas is the only other person around for miles. He drags Cas out of bed bright and early one Saturday, forcing him into the car before he’s even fully finished his coffee. Cas allows it, only because he can tell Dean is positively vibrating with nervous energy. Dean brushes off all of his prying questions during the long drive until they finally arrive at a small, peaceful meadow in the middle of nowhere.

He’s packed a lunch, because ostensibly this outing is meant to be a picnic, even though Cas is suspicious on that fact alone. Dean never picnics. It doesn’t really matter though, because Dean is too nervous to even consider eating.

“So why are we really here?” Cas asks after a few minutes of nibbling at his chips. Dean’s sandwich lays untouched on the blanket.

Dean steels his nerve and takes a deep breath. “Do you know where this is?” he asks, fighting the jittery bouncing of his heartbeat to keep his voice steady.

Cas nods. “This is where I returned when Jack resurrected me.” He looks around, smiling down at the flowers surrounding the two of them. The windmill behind him creaks softly in the wind.

“And where I spread your ashes.” Dean’s fidgeting fingers find a frayed edge on the blanket, and he starts picking at it.

Cas nods again and remains silent, patiently waiting for Dean to find the rest of his words.

“And it’s…” Dean pulls a thread out of the blanket and lets it fly away in the wind. “This is where I realized I love you. I’m an idiot who didn’t even realize how much I loved you until after you were gone.”

Cas leans forward and rests his hand on Dean’s knee, warm and reassuring. Dean continues, “At the time I’d thought, ‘I can’t do this. I don’t want to live without him.’ Which was stupid because you were already dead. It didn’t matter what I wanted.”

Cas squeezes his knee. His eyes are gentle. “We’re both okay now.”

Dean’s heart warms. “Yeah. We are. But you know I...That feeling’s never gone away. You and me? I want us to be forever.” Dean reaches into his pocket. There’s no small velvet box, no shimmering diamonds, just a thick band of practical silver he found at a pawn shop. He looks down at the ring with a tender smile. “Man, never in a million years did I think I’d ever be doing this,” he marvels, and when he looks up, Cas’ eyes are wide with surprise.

“Dean?” His normally steady voice wavers.

Dean reaches for Cas’ face, his thumb gently stroking across his cheek. He holds up the ring. “What do you say, Cas? Wanna go legit about this?”

Cas’ expression is impossibly soft, eyes overflowing with love and devotion. He swallows thickly around a lump in his throat and takes the ring from Dean. He slides it onto his finger and stares at it like it’s his own personal miracle.

“You’re serious, Dean? You really want to get married?”

Dean smiles as he leans in close. Just before he kisses his new fiance, he whispers, “Of course I do.”

6.

The sun is setting, casting long shadows down the sand. The shifting winds coming from the sea carry a chill, making the little crowd gathered around them draw their jackets close and huddle together, but the smiles on their faces are nothing but warm. There’s no altar. No stage. No decorations. Just Cas and Dean, standing in front of the ocean, wearing their favorite flannels and jeans, two bright yellow black-eyed susans pinned to their shirts--stolen right out of someone’s garden on their way to the beach.

They didn’t even bother trying to put out chairs for the ceremony, not knowing how many of their friends and family would be able to make the long drive to see Dean get hitched to his angel, but in the end it’s a good thing, because damn near everyone came, and they need to crowd in close to hear them over the wind.

It’s completely and utterly perfect.

Dean grins, unable to take his eyes off Cas while Donna, the only member of his overly-emotional family he trusts not to bawl her eyes out through the ceremony, finishes the last of their vows.

“Do you, Castiel, take Dean Winchester to be your, well, not so lawfully wedded husband?”

There’s a twitter of laughter from the crowd. Cas smiles a sweet, crooked smile and squeezes Dean’s hand. “I do.” His voice is soft, meant for Dean’s ears only, because Dean is the only one his promise matters to.

“And do you, Dean Winchester, FBI’s Most Wanted, thrice dead criminal, and the terribly generous gentleman who will surely be covering our drinks on this celebratory evening, take Castiel to be your husband?”

Dean looks at Cas. Even in the dim light of the setting sun, his eyes are impossibly blue. His smile is so warm Dean knows he’ll never feel cold again, so long as he can see it every day. Dean beams back and proclaims loud enough for everyone on the beach to hear, “Oh hell yes!”

[lis-likes-fics]

A Witch's Luck | Chapter 1

"How are you feeling? Are you nervous, scared, happy? Are you excited? Tell me!" Alice exclaimed.

Y/N laughed, "I will when you stop talking."

She zipped her lips shut with an invisible zipper and Y/N spoke, "I'm excited. Happy that I'm marrying the love of my life. I can't wait."

She smiled, "Awesome! Okay, so we have a few last minute things to do, but the decorations are being set up!"

"Can I have a peek at something?" She asked, hopefully. Alice didn't let her see anything.

She shook her head, "Nope. Not until tomorrow when your walking down the isle."

She sighed heavily and shrugged, "Okay."

"But I do need to do one last dress fitting to make sure everything is perfect!"

"Oh, Alice! I don't want to! It takes forever!" Y/N whined at the vampire.

She shrugged, "Do you want your special day to be perfect?"

"It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be with him," she answered Alice truthfully. The vampire shrugged, "Too bad. I'm making it perfect. If I'm going to plan a wedding, I'll make it perfect. Let's go."

Y/N groaned and before she could get dragged away, Eileen stepped forward with Ella and said, "Actually, Alice. I was wondering if I could snatch the bride real quick."

"Please," Y/N begged.

Alice pouted, "Fine. But bring her back! We're doing that fitting." She turned around and saw Freya sniffing at the food set on the table for tomorrow.

"Hey! Away from the food!" Alice exclaimed.

Freya snatched a snack and ran to Y/N's side, hoping for protection. Y/N laughed and walked away with Eileen, Freya following happily.

"So, what's up?" Y/N asked. Eileen chuckled, "Actually, I was snatching you to take you to Jasper, he was wanting to talk."

She nodded and Eileen took her to a room, peeking her head in before allowing her inside. Y/N stepped inside with Freya and Eileen left.

Freya jumped in Y/N's arms to take a nap. Jasper smiled and kissed Y/N's forehead. "Have you seen anything yet?" She asked.

He shook his head, "No, nothing." Y/N sighed and said, "Who am I kidding? This is Alice we're talking about."

He chuckled and said, "Actually, I was wanting to talk to you about the wedding?"

She bit her lip, "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

He said, "I was thinking, probably not a good way to start the conversation, but here we go. I was thinking about us."

"What about us?" She asked shyly, "You're not...rethinking this, are you?"

He stepped close to her, taking her head in his hands and kissing her gently, "I want nothing more than the spend my life with you as your husband."

She smiled and let him continue, "But I also wanted to share something else with you. I know all about your past, how you lived before me. I realize you don't know much about me."

He sat down, patting the seat next to him. Y/N sat down, setting the fox in her lap. Jasper let out a sigh before he started.

"You already know I come from the South. There, they spend the day plotting their next move and anticipating their enemy's. It had been constant war in the South, constant war for centuries, with never one moment of truce.

"The coven there barely note the existence of humans, except as soldiers notice a herd of cows by the wayside - food for the taking. They only hide from the notice of the herd because of the Volturi."

Y/N almost flinched at the name. After her experience with them, the screams of the humans they'd killed, the name made her a slight uneasy.

"It occurred to someone once that, if he were the only vampire in, let's say Mexico City, well then, he could feed every night, twice, three times, and no one would ever notice. He plotted ways to get rid of the competition.

"Others had the same idea. Some came up with more effective tactics than others. But the most effective tactic was invented by a fairly young vampire named Benito."

Y/N knew the name, "Wasn't that the vampire who came from somewhere north of Dallas and massacred the two covens that shared the area near Houston?"

"How did you know that?" Jasper asked quizzically.

She shrugged with one shoulder, "The witches like to keep tabs on big vampire activities and that definitely made the cut."

Jasper asked, "How much do you know about it?"

Y/N thought for a moment, "Two nights later he took on the much stronger clan that claimed Monterrey in northern Mexico and won."

"And how did he win?" Jasper asked, wondering if she knew.

"Benito had created an army of newborns. He was the first to think of it and was unstoppable for a time."

He nodded, "Young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control."

"Unless you're a witch, mostly. The more mature the vampire, the harder it is to work magic on. Which is why taking on the Volturi was especially risky," Y/N noted.

"One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen together are a nightmare. They'll turn on each other as easily as on the enemy you point them at," Jasper continued.

You nodded, knowing the story, "Benito had to keep making more as they fought amongst themselves, and as the coven he decimated took more then half of his force down before they lost. Newborns are almost impossible to defeat unless you knew what you're doing. They're incredibly powerful physically for the first year or so, but they're slaves to their instincts, and thus, predictable."

Jasper nodded, "Yes. The vampires in southern Mexico realized what was coming for them, and they did the only thing they could think of the counteract Benito. They made armies of their own."

She nodded once again and took over, "All hell broke loose - literally. It was not a good time to be human in Mexico, or a witch. In fact, it was so bad, the witches were sending letter after letter to covens all over wondering if the witches should step in. We almost had a war because of it, some were focused on keeping the humans safe while others were worried about getting rid of their enemies entirely."

She continued, "The Volturi finally stepped in when the body count reached epidemic proportions. They were hunting down every newborn in the bottom half of North America. It's one of the reasons the witches didn't step in. A very small coven tried to do their bit in the vampire wars when they were discovered by the Volturi and slaughtered. It gave the opposing witches another reason to wage war, but the fear of losing generations of witches was too big and won. Mexico was emptied of vampires for a time and they almost found two more covens of witches."

Jasper continued, "The Volturi were cleaning house for almost a year. There were very few witnesses left to speak of what it was like. I spoke to someone once who had, from a distance, watched what happened when they visited Culiacán."

Jasper shuddered. Y/N put a hand on his cheek and he looked at her, smiling at her presence. He sighed as he continued, "When the Volturi left, the wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. The humans selected for the armies were selected more carefully. It gave no reason for the Volturi to return.

"Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return to clean out the city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue..."

"And that's how you were turned," she spoke.

He nodded, "Yes, when I was human, I lived in Houston Texas. I was almost seventeen when I joined the Union Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it. I was the youngest major in Texas, not even acknowledging my real age."

He rolled up his sleeves and she nodded, "I know. The battle scars. I saw them the night we..."

He smiled at her shyness on the topic, "Yes, I know." He kissed her forehead, moving over to put an arm around her waist.

She traced her fingers over the white, crescent shaped scars. He spoke, "All the training the Union Army gave me...was useless against the newborns. Still, I never lost a fight."

"I was headed back to Galveston and, just a mile outside the city, I found there women on foot. I assumed they were strangers and dismounted at once to offer my aid. But, when i could see their faces in the dim light of the moon, I was stunned into silence. They were, without question, the most beautiful women I had ever seen."

Y/N looked down at her hands, a little jealous those words. He put a finger under her chin, lifting her head once again to look into her eyes, "Hey, I said were the most beautiful, not are." She smiled again and he continued.

"She made me a vampire, wanted me to lead her newborn army. The fighting was intense," he traced some of the scars on his skin, remembering the fights, "Many began to worry that the Volturi would return. Of the original twenty-three, I was the only on to survive the first eighteen months. We both won and lost. The two girls turned on Maria eventually - but that one we won.

"The idea of conquest was dying out; it was mostly vengeance and feuding now. So many had lost their partners, and that is something our kind does not forgive...

"Maria was smart, careful. And she had me. I was the second in command. My abilities served her well. I trained her newborns. An endless occupation since she never let them live beyond their first year.

"Decades later, I developed a friendship with a newborn who'd remained useful and survived his first three years. His name was Peter. I liked Peter, he was...civilized - I suppose that's the right word.

"It was our job to dispose of them when they outgrew their newborn strength. I could feel everything they felt. One night, we were about halfway through when he was starting to grow reluctant with the task. I was trying to decide whether I should send him away and finish myself while I finished. The newborn I summoned was a female, just past her year mark. Her name was Charlotte.

"He yelled for her to run, and he bolted after her. I could have pursued them, but I didn't. I felt...averse to destroying them.

"Maria was irritated with me for that..." Y/N's hold on his hand tightened slightly at the idea of Jasper getting hurt.

"Five years later, Peter snuck back for me. He picked a good day to arrive. I thought what Maria and I had was love."

There was a pang of jealousy in Y/N when she heard that last part. Jasper was quick to assure her, as always, "But I was her puppet. She pulled the strings. Her emotions when she was near me were beginning to change - there was fear...and malice. I was preparing myself to destroy my only ally, the core of my existence, when Peter returned.

"Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In five years, they'd never had a fight. Though, they'd met many others in the north. Others who could coexist without the constant mayhem.

"I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn't fade. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I'd hunted.

"In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I'd nearly lost all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a-"

"Don't say it," Y/N told him firmly. She didn't like when he referred to himself as a monster, no matter the situation.

He chuckled light-heartedly and continued, "Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me - this borrowed memory - than everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them.

You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Y/N, and you realize how the feelings in a room affect me. I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey.

"It began to be too much.

"The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn't feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing - killing anyone, even mere humans."

Y/N saw a faint smile on his lips and the mood in the room changed, calmed as he said the next words. ""I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day - something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little.

"She was there - expecting me, naturally." He chuckled once, "She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me.

"It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before."

Jasper smiled down at her, "She held out her hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."

The door opened suddenly, revealing Alice and Edward. She stood there with a smile, "I was just relieved, I though you would never show up."

She came over and Jasper asked, "We're you listening in?"

"Only the last part. I was coming to see what was taking her so long," she pointed to Y/N, who laughed. Edward muttered, "She dragged me in here to see what was going on as well."

Jasper chuckled, pulling Y/N closer into his side. Alice came over, sitting on the floor in front of them like a child being told a story. Edward leaned against the door frame.

Jasper continued, "Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family. I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them."

"Scared the hell out of them, too," Edward said, rolling his eyes at Jasper before turning to Y/N to explain. "Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak" - he nudged Alice playfully - "who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into."

Alice and Jasper laughed in harmony, soprano and bass. "When I got home, all my things were in the garage," Edward continued.

Alice shrugged. "Your room had the best view." They all laughed together now.

Y/N, still laughing said, "Well, I'm glad you got Alice, then. Remind me to thank her later for making your life better. Bet she saw me coming, too."

Alice shook her head with a pout, "No, I can only sometimes see witches. I was so confused when you showed up with the nomads."

They laughed lighter at her childishness. "Do I still have to do a fitting?"

She nodded, "Yes! I'll take the long time, backstories get you mercy, but not excuses. Let's go!"

She snatched her arm and dragged Y/N from the room. Y/N held onto the door frame, holding on with all her might to keep from having to go to fitting. Alice groaned, "I'm going to rip you in half if you don't let go! Come on!"

Y/N's fingers slipped and she was pulled from the room with no help from her future brother or future husband.