#[ eeep thank you my darling xx ]

[buzzybluepenguin]

Ok, so this has been a long time coming, but this time it has been harder to put down exactly how I feel about this production! First of all, let me say that the show continues to be incredible. When I saw it on 4/2/17 it was Nicola Adams as Hermione - the same as last time I as there, and she was great - and James Le Lacheur was on as Scorpius Malfoy. James was brilliant - their Scorpius is more emotional than Anthony Boyle's, so the audience is treated to a new side of Scorpius' character. There were fewer squeaky moments, which I missed, but it was totally made up for all of the moments where I was sobbing my eyes out! It was incredible to be back in that space again, and to be honoured enough to witness the passion that goes into that show night after night. The special effects are phenomenal, and I was in a different seat to last time and could see so many more effects and how they are done too! (If anyone wants to know, message me! Otherwise I will be #keepingthesecrets :) )

However, there is one particular performance that I want - and need - to talk about. I’ve thought long and hard about how to articulate just how I feel, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve just got to let the emotions roll out. So here goes.

I can't even begin to describe how much Jamie Parker - and his performance as Harry - means to me. His screams shake me to the core, and in the scene where James and Lily die... oh, I know how that feels. To watch him as Harry watch his parents die - it kills me. I know what that’s like, Jamie, and that sudden unbearable pain as you see them again, knowing that they are already gone because you exist in that moment of time without them and have to return to that moment without them again... he strikes that cord, more than I have ever seen anyone else do. I hope he doesn’t know how that feels, my darling, I hope he doesn’t. But if he does, oh if he does I am so sorry. For the moment thathe does, when that moment comes as inevitably life dictates it one day must, I am so sorry. I will be there for him when that day arrives. I won't be the person he turns to, and nor should I be. But I will be there for him. I love him, that Jamie. More than I can articulate and more than anyone will ever know. I fell for him as Guildenstern, I renewed that love when he was Sky, I was amazed by him as Lee and Mike, I fell further for him as Sky, and I want to protect him and hold him as Harry.

I was lucky enough to meet him after that show. He recognised me, and came over to me, hugged and kissed my cheek. That hug and kiss was unexpected! He thanked me for the present and jigsaw I’d given him, and signed my copy of the script, and I got the best photo with him... and then he said yes to helping me with my dissertation... eeep! And, after all of this, I know that I will always love him. I'm trying to progress, work forward, but know that my heart will always be him, for anything.

And then I saw him yesterday. I was in London at the Globe Theatre (seeing picture of him as Henry V all over the place!) and then I made my way to the Palace to drop off a card for him with some starter questions in for my dissertation for next year. He came out of the door, saw me, hugged me again and then signed my audio CD of The History Boys... and I got another photo (once he’d taken off his bike helmet, scarf and refloofed his hair, which was adorable). This photo is also one of my favourites... especially as he’d forgotten to take his scar off - I have a photo with JamieHarry! :P

I am incredibly lucky to have had 2 very special days in the past one and a half weeks, and to love someone in the way that I do. I am one very happy Alice!

Wow, this is a long post. Lotsa love xx